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My last blog talked about how my bestfriend had passed away. http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=334711
Now in this blog I will talk about how my girlfriend is pregnant. It's a crazy thought, she's pregnant, but how? why? I thought about my bestfriend being reincarnated into my unborn child, but that's not possible, or is it? I don't know what to believe. Me and her have been together for over a year now and I am truly in love. I think I would be with her no matter what and I know she feels the same way about me. There's times where we feel the opposite, but we always work them out; yesterday night, she kept complaining about her boobs hurting and the fact that she didn't have her period in over a month.
Already having two pregnancy test in the drawer from the previous scare, she took the test and it came out positive. I was shocked and amazed, but just shocked in general. She's pregnant, it feels weird. My perspective of her changed; She was my one and only. We talked about the situation, we agreed to having an abortion though. We aren't stable enough to have a kid, we aren't even done with school. I actually just applied to start taking Psychology courses. How will we be able to handle a baby if our lives aren't even set yet. I have a stable job with stable income, but I don't think I'm ready for a kid or am I? We thought about it and talked about it, but we need to do what we have to do.
My thoughts are going crazy, it's my child that she is bearing, I already feel the pain of thinking of my baby being removed. Should we go through this procedure? I won't know till tomorrow. I set up an appointment for 9am at the clinic. My girlfriend couldn't call her self because she kept crying. I took it upon myself to call. I told her "No matter what, I'm here for you. In what ever decision you decide, I am here for you." Let's see how things go and how she will feel tomorrow. To be honest, I would love to have the child, but realistically speaking, I don't think we'll be able to handle it. I just needed to vent out a bit and let's hope everything goes well tomorrow. Either we have the child, or we don't. I'll update what happens tomorrow.
  
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What method of birth control were you using?
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Something escapes me. You are not yet in a position to properly support and raise a child. You are both in your studies. You already had a "scare" in the (recent, I assume) past. And you kept having unprotected sex ? What were you thinking ?
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On May 08 2012 02:20 -Kaiser- wrote:
What method of birth control were you using?
seems like none
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Sometime its harder when you have a child but you always figure a way to get things done. Having a mini me is the greatest thing in life.Whatever you do , or beleve in , just make sure your in peace with the decision youll take.
good luck bro
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What everyone else said. 1 scare already and now a pregnancy? Sounds like your family planning has been shoddy at best.
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On May 08 2012 02:21 Apom wrote:
Something escapes me. You are not yet in a position to properly support and raise a child. You are both in your studies. You already had a "scare" in the (recent, I assume) past. And you kept having unprotected sex ? What were you thinking ?
Actually, I'm suppose to be sterile and she's on birth control, the daily kind. So it's basically really weird on how this happened.
I have a thing called http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/guys/varicocele.html, it doesn't leave you sterile unless doctors say other wise, which is what they told me. Guess they were wrong? And the birth control failed some how. So this baby is like a miracle baby of some sort. I wouldn't know.
Sorry I left this part out of the blog, I was just typing away with out really thinking.
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OMG dude, get her on the pill or just use a damn condom. Pulling out is not birth control....
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Since you are publicaly sharing this information, I feel morally allowed to raise the following point : are you certain this embryo is yours ? If you're sterile ?
This is not a very nice comment toi make, but it's probably better to think about that NOW, than in 18 years.
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On May 08 2012 02:24 ShoCkeyy wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:21 Apom wrote:
Something escapes me. You are not yet in a position to properly support and raise a child. You are both in your studies. You already had a "scare" in the (recent, I assume) past. And you kept having unprotected sex ? What were you thinking ? Actually, I'm suppose to be sterile and she's on birth control, the daily kind. So it's basically really weird on how this happened.
both of those are obviously not accurate. she's doing the birth control wrong, or she's just not doing it. never trust her though, always wrap unless you are ready to support a kid or get an abortion
and as others said, there may be another perpetrator
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Can't say I have any good advice but good luck with whatever decision you're gonna make.
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Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:21 Apom wrote:
Something escapes me. You are not yet in a position to properly support and raise a child. You are both in your studies. You already had a "scare" in the (recent, I assume) past. And you kept having unprotected sex ? What were you thinking ? Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:22 Silidons wrote:On May 08 2012 02:20 -Kaiser- wrote:
What method of birth control were you using? seems like none Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:23 bonifaceviii wrote:
What everyone else said. 1 scare already and now a pregnancy? Sounds like your family planning has been shoddy at best. Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:25 FreeZEternal wrote:
OMG dude, get her on the pill or just use a damn condom. Pulling out is not birth control....
It's pretty repulsive that you all assume they were being irresponsible and not using any method of birth control. Accidents happen.
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On May 08 2012 02:27 Murlox wrote:
Since you are publicaly sharing this information, I must raise the following point : are you certain this embryo is yours ? If you're sterile ?
This is not a very nice comment toi make, but it's probably better to think about that NOW, than in 18 years.
I've thought about this, but it's impossible. She's not that kind of person ever since I've met her in the 9th grade. Also, we're always together. Only time when we're not together is during work hours. She works as a waitress at applebees, trying to get her hospitality degree and I'm a web developer.
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They are kids, imo. They'll see how things go later...
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On May 08 2012 02:24 ShoCkeyy wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:21 Apom wrote:
Something escapes me. You are not yet in a position to properly support and raise a child. You are both in your studies. You already had a "scare" in the (recent, I assume) past. And you kept having unprotected sex ? What were you thinking ? Actually, I'm suppose to be sterile and she's on birth control, the daily kind. So it's basically really weird on how this happened. I have a thing called http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/guys/varicocele.html, it doesn't leave you sterile unless doctors say other wise, which is what they told me. Guess they were wrong? And the birth control failed some how. So this baby is like a miracle baby of some sort. I wouldn't know. Sorry I left this part out of the blog, I was just typing away with out really thinking.
Get a DNA test when the baby is born. I know you can't believe she'd cheat, but you're supposed to be sterile + using protection... the most obvious answer is another man fathered the child.
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On May 08 2012 02:28 -Kaiser- wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:21 Apom wrote:
Something escapes me. You are not yet in a position to properly support and raise a child. You are both in your studies. You already had a "scare" in the (recent, I assume) past. And you kept having unprotected sex ? What were you thinking ? On May 08 2012 02:22 Silidons wrote:On May 08 2012 02:20 -Kaiser- wrote:
What method of birth control were you using? seems like none On May 08 2012 02:23 bonifaceviii wrote:
What everyone else said. 1 scare already and now a pregnancy? Sounds like your family planning has been shoddy at best. On May 08 2012 02:25 FreeZEternal wrote:
OMG dude, get her on the pill or just use a damn condom. Pulling out is not birth control.... It's pretty repulsive that you all assume they were being irresponsible and not using any method of birth control. Accidents happen.
Exactly, we were always safe about it. She's been on the pill well over 3 years, and I've been "sterile" since I was 13. Either my sperm turned into a super sperm for one night, or some form of entity beyond our reality put that baby there.
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On May 08 2012 02:28 ShoCkeyy wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:27 Murlox wrote:
Since you are publicaly sharing this information, I must raise the following point : are you certain this embryo is yours ? If you're sterile ?
This is not a very nice comment toi make, but it's probably better to think about that NOW, than in 18 years. I've thought about this, but it's impossible. She's not that kind of person ever since I've met her in the 9th grade. Also, we're always together. Only time when we're not together is during work hours. She works as a waitress at applebees, trying to get her hospitality degree and I'm a web developer.
There is no "not that type of girl." So many guys say that until they get mentally destroyed. Get a DNA test for god's sake on the baby when it's born.
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On May 08 2012 02:30 cz wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:24 ShoCkeyy wrote:On May 08 2012 02:21 Apom wrote:
Something escapes me. You are not yet in a position to properly support and raise a child. You are both in your studies. You already had a "scare" in the (recent, I assume) past. And you kept having unprotected sex ? What were you thinking ? Actually, I'm suppose to be sterile and she's on birth control, the daily kind. So it's basically really weird on how this happened. I have a thing called http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/guys/varicocele.html, it doesn't leave you sterile unless doctors say other wise, which is what they told me. Guess they were wrong? And the birth control failed some how. So this baby is like a miracle baby of some sort. I wouldn't know. Sorry I left this part out of the blog, I was just typing away with out really thinking. Get a DNA test when the baby is born. I know you can't believe she'd cheat, but you're supposed to be sterile + using protection... the most obvious answer is another man fathered the child.
This is being pondered in the back of my head if we do go through with it.
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On May 08 2012 02:28 ShoCkeyy wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:27 Murlox wrote:
Since you are publicaly sharing this information, I must raise the following point : are you certain this embryo is yours ? If you're sterile ?
This is not a very nice comment toi make, but it's probably better to think about that NOW, than in 18 years. I've thought about this, but it's impossible. She's not that kind of person ever since I've met her in the 9th grade. Also, we're always together. Only time when we're not together is during work hours. She works as a waitress at applebees, trying to get her hospitality degree and I'm a web developer.
That was not a nice thought to have, sorry for insisting. Just a fair consideration to make in your situation, I suppose.
On the other hand one could have a more positive view and say that you two are blessed by the gods!
Good luck, in any cases.
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yes..definitely get a DNA test. It does sound like she might have cheated if you're sterile >_<
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If a doctor told you you were sterile and you get someone pregnant, can you not sew this doctor?
Edit: sue 
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Why don't you go get re-checked to see if you're still sterile?
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On May 08 2012 02:28 -Kaiser- wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:21 Apom wrote:
Something escapes me. You are not yet in a position to properly support and raise a child. You are both in your studies. You already had a "scare" in the (recent, I assume) past. And you kept having unprotected sex ? What were you thinking ? On May 08 2012 02:22 Silidons wrote:On May 08 2012 02:20 -Kaiser- wrote:
What method of birth control were you using? seems like none On May 08 2012 02:23 bonifaceviii wrote:
What everyone else said. 1 scare already and now a pregnancy? Sounds like your family planning has been shoddy at best. On May 08 2012 02:25 FreeZEternal wrote:
OMG dude, get her on the pill or just use a damn condom. Pulling out is not birth control.... It's pretty repulsive that you all assume they were being irresponsible and not using any method of birth control. Accidents happen.
If this was the first occurrence I'd agree with you, but the "accident" train rolled out of the station when he said there was already a scare. The girl's not taking her birth control correctly.
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sounds odd with birth control + sterile.. but i guess anything is possible? Anyway, if you are not ready to bring a child into the world and raise it well and support it then don't do it, IMO.
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On May 08 2012 02:38 CecilSunkure wrote:
If a doctor told you you were sterile and you get someone pregnant, can you not sew this doctor?
Find a lawyer to give him the good 'ol 1-2 cross-stitch.
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I don't think anyone will tell you that you can be ready to have a kid. Pretty big deal and I wish you the best of luck. It's going to take sacrifice but if you two are planning on sticking this out in the long run and you think you're sterile this could be a blessing 
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Maybe she is cheating?
Sorry to be the douche. But if you are "sterile" and she is eating pills. It's either miracle, sick statistical nugget, or cheating.
Hoping for 1 or 2 for you though.
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I've been through this once before and I understand how incredibly confusing this entire situation is. This happened to me when I was 21 years old with my ex-fiance at the time. If you need someone to actually talk to and help you sort things through in your head feel free to send me a PM. I would be more than happy to go into depth with you in it about what followed.
It changes the relationship DRASTICALLY.
Best of luck and best wishes on everything
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On May 08 2012 02:11 ShoCkeyy wrote:
My thoughts are going crazy, it's my child that she is bearing, I already feel the pain of thinking of my baby being removed. Should we go through this procedure? I won't know till tomorrow. I set up an appointment for 9am at the clinic. My girlfriend couldn't call her self because she kept crying. I took it upon myself to call. I told her "No matter what, I'm here for you. In what ever decision you decide, I am here for you." Let's see how things go and how she will feel tomorrow. To be honest, I would love to have the child, but realistically speaking, I don't think we'll be able to handle it. I just needed to vent out a bit and let's hope everything goes well tomorrow. Either we have the child, or we don't. I'll update what happens tomorrow.
If this is how you really feel then you need to tell her about it (if you haven't already). Sure, you can put on a brave face and logically convince yourself that abortion is for the best, but the emotional hits you're taking right now are only going to get worse if she goes through with it.
First things first - she should really get a blood test to confirm the pregnancy. Home tests are sometimes wrong and it's going to be the first thing a doctor will do anyway.
Assuming you live in the US, she can essentially do whatever she wants without having to consider you. At least be thankful your girlfriend is keeping you in the decision-making process.
It's great you're venting this all out, but I hope you're also venting to her, as well. Either decision - keeping the baby or not - is going to be extremely difficult. Adoption is also an option should she choose to keep (quite reasonable considering you don't think you can handle it yet without the pain of "my baby being removed").
To everyone else reading this: If you're dating someone and sexually active make sure you have a contingency plan for when the unexpected happens.
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Have your sperm tested again at a different doctor. If you're still sterile the most obvious answer is most likely the true one.
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My old roomate's girl friend was supposed to be infertile and was on the pill anyway just to be safe and she still got pregnant. A medical diagnosis isn't always 100% certainty. Especially in the field of fertility.
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On May 08 2012 02:24 ShoCkeyy wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:21 Apom wrote:
Something escapes me. You are not yet in a position to properly support and raise a child. You are both in your studies. You already had a "scare" in the (recent, I assume) past. And you kept having unprotected sex ? What were you thinking ? Actually, I'm suppose to be sterile and she's on birth control, the daily kind. So it's basically really weird on how this happened. I have a thing called http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/guys/varicocele.html, it doesn't leave you sterile unless doctors say other wise, which is what they told me. Guess they were wrong? And the birth control failed some how. So this baby is like a miracle baby of some sort. I wouldn't know. Sorry I left this part out of the blog, I was just typing away with out really thinking.
Unfortunately lots of the doctors I have met in my past are usually wrong. That's why I usually see more than one when it comes to serious issues such as that, but as you said your girlfriend was on the pill, so meh.
Shit happens!
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Unless this is purely fictional (which is definitely more likely than the facts in your story)
If you knew you were sterile why was she on a pill? Pills are generally not very good for women, aside from a few semi-mythical benefits.
If you love her so much why is abortion the first thing on your mind, not the opposite?
About cheating - anything is possible, you should know whether it could happen or not. You need to find out if you're in doubt. Or maybe it was a huge shit test and you just failed?
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United States8017 Posts
On May 08 2012 02:38 CecilSunkure wrote:
If a doctor told you you were sterile and you get someone pregnant, can you not sew this doctor?
Isn't that what surgeons are supposed to do to patients.
In all seriousness though I hate this sue happy nature of American society. What are you going to sue the doctor for? Being wrong? If you have reason to think the doctor made mistakes out of laziness/negligence etc. then I can understand but if the doctor did his job to the best of his ability and there ended up being a mistake somewhere on the chain I hate the fact that their is a potential lawsuit there. Not to mention this aspect plays a pretty significant role in our rapidly increasing medical care costs.
As to the OP...I can't really give much comment because I'm biased pretty strongly one way. To me, at the moment of conception, that is a living child. From my perspective if you go and have an abortion your murdering a child. Needless to say, I'm no supporter of abortion and cannot imagine anyone with my view even contemplating an abortion.
It really all comes down to what you believe about the status of life in this months leading up to birth. If you don't view the cell mass as a living human until some other point in the pregnancy then I can understand why someone would choose to have an abortion.
I think you need to really sit down and decide what your beliefs are about when life begins and ensure your in a comfortable spot with your own moral ground. Take some time to figure out how you feel and what you believe and make a rational, thought-out, reflected upon decision.
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Speaking as someone who just had his first child 10 days ago, have the baby. Yes, it seems a little daunting now and brings up many questions about how your life will change and how you will be able to afford a family, but things will work themselves out. There are plenty of government programs that will help you come up with the proper care for your child and you will have your families as well. You can go to school part time and work part time and still find time to be a father. Trust me, once you hold your child in your arms for the first time you will think you were crazy for even considering an abortion. Good luck.
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Congrats is all I'd say
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On May 08 2012 02:30 ShoCkeyy wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:28 -Kaiser- wrote:On May 08 2012 02:21 Apom wrote:
Something escapes me. You are not yet in a position to properly support and raise a child. You are both in your studies. You already had a "scare" in the (recent, I assume) past. And you kept having unprotected sex ? What were you thinking ? On May 08 2012 02:22 Silidons wrote:On May 08 2012 02:20 -Kaiser- wrote:
What method of birth control were you using? seems like none On May 08 2012 02:23 bonifaceviii wrote:
What everyone else said. 1 scare already and now a pregnancy? Sounds like your family planning has been shoddy at best. On May 08 2012 02:25 FreeZEternal wrote:
OMG dude, get her on the pill or just use a damn condom. Pulling out is not birth control.... It's pretty repulsive that you all assume they were being irresponsible and not using any method of birth control. Accidents happen. or some form of entity beyond our reality put that baby there.
you should ask her what his name is (the other entity)
seriously though, she's not being honest with you
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Wish you the best Shockey. Hope everything works out for you one way or another.
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If you're sterile you really shouldn't have an abortion imo, maybe when you actually plan one it will take years to have one. Anyway, I think you ade the right decision by supporting her in whatever she decides.
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On May 08 2012 03:28 Arcanefrost wrote:
If you're sterile you really shouldn't have an abortion imo, maybe when you actually plan one it will take years to have one. Anyway, I think you ade the right decision by supporting her in whatever she decides.
I don't think you can be sterile then magically have a baby years later? I could be completely wrong. But I was under the impression that being sterile means no babies ever.
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On May 08 2012 02:11 ShoCkeyy wrote:
I don't think I'm ready for a kid or am I?
I'm not really sure anyone is ever ready for it. But when it happens, priorities change and I'm sure you can find a way to make it work. I believe a child should always be considered a gift and not just something you "decide" to have.
Also, consider this; what if you really are sterile (or perhaps just have really low probability of having a child) and it actually is something of a "miracle" as you put it. What if you decide to get rid of it and then it turns out you wont be able to have children together at the time you feel "ready".
Then again, I am not you and we probably view things differently... It's just some things to think about.
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good luck is all i can say
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You should see another doctor to see if you're really sterile, not ask directly a dna test of your girlfriend cuz if you're not, it will hit her hard tt
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On May 08 2012 03:36 wwJd)El_Mojjo wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:11 ShoCkeyy wrote:
I don't think I'm ready for a kid or am I? I'm not really sure anyone is ever ready for it. But when it happens, priorities change and I'm sure you can find a way to make it work. I believe a child should always be considered a gift and not just something you "decide" to have. Also, consider this; what if you really are sterile (or perhaps just have really low probability of having a child) and it actually is something of a "miracle" as you put it. What if you decide to get rid of it and then it turns out you wont be able to have children together at the time you feel "ready". Then again, I am not you and we probably view things differently... It's just some things to think about.
I've thought about this many times. What if this is my only chance to have a kid? :\ Thanks for all the responses though, they all seem great. I just hope we make the correct decision.
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tupac's coming back!
on a serious note, i think you should do a paternity test... miracles happen, but so do accidents 
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On May 08 2012 02:28 ShoCkeyy wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:27 Murlox wrote:
Since you are publicaly sharing this information, I must raise the following point : are you certain this embryo is yours ? If you're sterile ?
This is not a very nice comment toi make, but it's probably better to think about that NOW, than in 18 years. I've thought about this, but it's impossible. She's not that kind of person ever since I've met her in the 9th grade. Also, we're always together. Only time when we're not together is during work hours. She works as a waitress at applebees, trying to get her hospitality degree and I'm a web developer.
There's no such thing as "not that kind of person", not trying to be a jackass here, but if you were told you were sterile there's probably exams backing up that statement. Did they test you with a spermiogram when they diagnosed you with infertility? Medical tests can always have a false positive so it's not out of the question, but you should ask her anyways.
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You need to go get a fertility test. Dont asume youre sterile just because a doctor told you so.
Ive been to hospital twice after two seperate accidents and told i had no breaks, and both times later found out i had broken bones. I even saw the xray for one the second time and even i could see the break. Doctors make mistakes (or in the case of one of mine, downright incompetent)
The pill isnt 100% perfect even if the missus remembers to take it same time every day, so if youre not shooting blanks you wont be the first guy to knock a girl up whos on the pill. Dont say anything to the missus, just go for a fertility test. If your fertile the pergnancy was a accident and shit mappens, if youre sterile the missus has awkward questions to answer
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At least you are smart about it and know you can't support a child given your scenario. Going for the abortion is a smart choice.
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On May 08 2012 02:24 ShoCkeyy wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:21 Apom wrote:
Something escapes me. You are not yet in a position to properly support and raise a child. You are both in your studies. You already had a "scare" in the (recent, I assume) past. And you kept having unprotected sex ? What were you thinking ? Actually, I'm suppose to be sterile and she's on birth control, the daily kind. So it's basically really weird on how this happened. I have a thing called http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/guys/varicocele.html, it doesn't leave you sterile unless doctors say other wise, which is what they told me. Guess they were wrong? And the birth control failed some how. So this baby is like a miracle baby of some sort. I wouldn't know. Sorry I left this part out of the blog, I was just typing away with out really thinking.
Or it's not yours...
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I dunno. Something is not adding up. Sterile + Pill = pregnant? Not likely, unless one of you two messed up.
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On May 08 2012 03:45 ShoCkeyy wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 03:36 wwJd)El_Mojjo wrote:On May 08 2012 02:11 ShoCkeyy wrote:
I don't think I'm ready for a kid or am I? I'm not really sure anyone is ever ready for it. But when it happens, priorities change and I'm sure you can find a way to make it work. I believe a child should always be considered a gift and not just something you "decide" to have. Also, consider this; what if you really are sterile (or perhaps just have really low probability of having a child) and it actually is something of a "miracle" as you put it. What if you decide to get rid of it and then it turns out you wont be able to have children together at the time you feel "ready". Then again, I am not you and we probably view things differently... It's just some things to think about. I've thought about this many times. What if this is my only chance to have a kid? :\ Thanks for all the responses though, they all seem great. I just hope we make the correct decision.
You will make the right decision if you talk about it openly with your partner, and think about things objectively, and at least try to push your emotional side away to think things through rationally. There is no right or wrong in this situation IMO, since people are different and different decisions make you happy than some others. Some would be in ruins for having a baby at your age. Some will be happier.
As long as you're able to think it through with your partner, both of you are at a consensus of what you're going to do, then that is all that is necessary, regardless of what choice you make. Just be sure to have no regrets. Consider what makes YOU the happiest. As long as you know that the path you choose is ultimately going to make you the happiest, take it.
Like some have said, a child is a matter or priorities among many other things. By having the child you must understand that most of your free time will be washed away. Being at school while having a kid is probably possible, but will be very demanding mentally. (depending on financial situation etc ofc)
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On May 08 2012 04:17 Zidane wrote:
I dunno. Something is not adding up. Sterile + Pill = pregnant? Not likely, unless one of you two messed up.
People don't get it...
Pill isn't 100% fool-proof.
Varicocele sterility isn't 100% either, although I believe OP can probably sue the doctor that told him this(provided the child is indeed his).
Hell, not even condoms are 100%. It doesn't matter which method you use, the chance exists.
And I feel sorry for you OP. Having to choose between having the child at this point of life, or losing the "miracle" and not have the chance when you grow older is indeed a problem. Hope you can live well with whatever decision you have.
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Bro, i know how it feels to have a baby early in your life, i myself become a father when i was 17 years old, my girlfriend was only 16 years old, but this kid changed my life, altho we were young we lived it through and it wasnt that hard, first years could be rough but then we graduated schools, i went to become a military officer while my wife is now owner of one of the bigest Logistics companies in my Country, i doubt we would have what we have today if not becouse of that baby.
P.S english
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Kind of weird how you talk about your best friend dying and hoping that he would be reincarnated into your unborn child....\
Then I read your previous blog and your best friend was your dog... Awkward.
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So either you're not infertile or she cheated.
Get a fertility test and hope that the result is that you are actually fertile. If you still aren't then that makes things look kinda bleak for your relationship. Even though you're still not 100% sure.
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On May 08 2012 04:29 Zephirdd wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 04:17 Zidane wrote:
I dunno. Something is not adding up. Sterile + Pill = pregnant? Not likely, unless one of you two messed up. People don't get it... Pill isn't 100% fool-proof. Varicocele sterility isn't 100% either, although I believe OP can probably sue the doctor that told him this(provided the child is indeed his). Hell, not even condoms are 100%. It doesn't matter which method you use, the chance exists. And I feel sorry for you OP. Having to choose between having the child at this point of life, or losing the "miracle" and not have the chance when you grow older is indeed a problem. Hope you can live well with whatever decision you have.
The post you quoted said 'unless one of [those] two messed up'.
Most of the flaws in contraception use come from the user messing up.
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Wow Crazy, same kind of thing happend to me a little while back, (Minus being sterile). Found out my girlfreind wasnt taking her pill right AFTER a preg scare. The thought of having a baby scared me so much because I knew I wouldnt be morally able to abort the baby. Then I started thinking about if she would be crazy enough to just go without me to the abortion clinic, what could I do to stop this? The answer was nothing and all these thoughts were scary enough for me to stop sleeping with her. Arguments on the subject put too much strain on the relationship and eventually we broke up. If your first "scare" was anything like mine im surprised you continued to have sex, almost seems like you wanted to have a child.......
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On May 08 2012 04:31 DomiNater wrote:
Kind of weird how you talk about your best friend dying and hoping that he would be reincarnated into your unborn child....\
Then I read your previous blog and your best friend was your dog... Awkward.
LOL
Nice find. Maybe abortion is the best course of action here.
Also, whoever thinks that this is just a situational decision is mistaken. I will go further and say that OP has already undermined his relationship by telling the girl that w/e she decides he will support instead of trying to keep the baby. She will never forget that. I've seen relationships ruined this way. What kind of a man will want his woman to get rid of their baby? I'm not saying it is fair, but this is what goes through potential mother's mind. By making this choice you're not only ending the pregnancy, you're very likely to end your relationship with this woman in the near future (or never experience the same level of trust and commitment as before).
But first sort through the mess. At least try to make sure you two are honest and the baby is yours. It might influence your decision.
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On May 08 2012 04:50 Brandisimo wrote:
If your first "scare" was anything like mine im surprised you continued to have sex, almost seems like you wanted to have a child.......
what kind of logic is this
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Wait you had a previous scare right? What did you do that time? Did you get yourself checked out or just happy nothing happened.
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On May 08 2012 04:29 Zephirdd wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 04:17 Zidane wrote:
I dunno. Something is not adding up. Sterile + Pill = pregnant? Not likely, unless one of you two messed up. People don't get it... Pill isn't 100% fool-proof. Varicocele sterility isn't 100% either, although I believe OP can probably sue the doctor that told him this(provided the child is indeed his). Hell, not even condoms are 100%. It doesn't matter which method you use, the chance exists. And I feel sorry for you OP. Having to choose between having the child at this point of life, or losing the "miracle" and not have the chance when you grow older is indeed a problem. Hope you can live well with whatever decision you have.
Hahahah you make it seem like you know something and then you say "hell, not even condoms are 100%" like they were the best method around when they're actually pretty much the worst around lol. Even when used perfectly, any hormonal method is better than condoms.
But the rest of your point is right, not even surgical vasectomy or tubal ligation are 100% effective.
That doesn't make it any less suspicious, the chance is extremely low.
To the OP, if you don't have doubts I guess it's fine. If it were me, I'd have doubts, so I'd go to the fertility specialist and get tested again, and at the same time clear up the possibility of another man. You can never know until you ask, it's certainly a logical and understandable doubt.
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On May 08 2012 02:30 ShoCkeyy wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:28 -Kaiser- wrote:On May 08 2012 02:21 Apom wrote:
Something escapes me. You are not yet in a position to properly support and raise a child. You are both in your studies. You already had a "scare" in the (recent, I assume) past. And you kept having unprotected sex ? What were you thinking ? On May 08 2012 02:22 Silidons wrote:On May 08 2012 02:20 -Kaiser- wrote:
What method of birth control were you using? seems like none On May 08 2012 02:23 bonifaceviii wrote:
What everyone else said. 1 scare already and now a pregnancy? Sounds like your family planning has been shoddy at best. On May 08 2012 02:25 FreeZEternal wrote:
OMG dude, get her on the pill or just use a damn condom. Pulling out is not birth control.... It's pretty repulsive that you all assume they were being irresponsible and not using any method of birth control. Accidents happen. Exactly, we were always safe about it. She's been on the pill well over 3 years, and I've been "sterile" since I was 13. Either my sperm turned into a super sperm for one night, or some form of entity beyond our reality put that baby there.
Ohhhhh boy. Well, I'm going to just go ahead and say that no, this is not a supernatural superbaby.
Humans are darn difficult to sterilize, and the likely fact is that your GF missed her pill one or two days without mentioning it and thinking it was ok (many younger women miss a pill here or there and think it's ok), or she took antibiotics. Many kinds of antibiotic render oral contraceptives ineffective.
This takes care of her side of things. The male side is a bit tougher. It's likely that you're only partially sterile, and just have so low a sperm count in ppm that it was regarded as negligible (but not non-existent), or perhaps she cheated. If you follow through with this child, I'd highly recommend a paternity test regardless of what she claims. People lie, even people in love.
Hopefully the case isn't that she cheated. It's entirely possible that she missed a pill, or didn't take it at the exact same time every day, and one of your few little guys got in there and knocked her up. Teenagers are amazingly fertile.
However, it is not very likely that some being beyond our universe impregnated your girlfriend.
That having been said, this isn't your only chance to have a kid. What makes a child yours is raising them, not donating your DNA. You can always adopt a child, and there are even better options if you have a brother or sister (I received chemotherapy and they went through them with me, since there's a chance of sterilization. Turns out I'm OK, but I went through a lot dealing with it for a while. PM me if you like!)
While I'm die-hard pro choice, I wouldn't recommend abortion in this situation. If it was that random "stars aligning" kind of thing, it might be cool to go through with the pregnancy (if you have a supportive family that would help care for the baby while you finish school).
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To the OP - can you explain what the first 'scare' was? That should clear a lot of stuff up.
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Well, aborting is kind of egohistic in this case IMHO. When you have sex you should make sure 100.01% you are protected of you don't want to have babies. Maybe let the pregnancy finish, and when your child will be born, let people who want to have children but can't have it. I know it's going to be a problem for a young student like you GF to bear a baby for 9 months, but IMHO it's kind of your fault, so at least don't kill the baby. I know it's going to be hard letting your son be adopted, and it's going to be hard also for your son, but IMHO it's better than killing him/her right now. Give him a chance.
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The real moral problem here is not abortion, but rather the fact that you would like your dog to be reincarnated as your son.
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On May 08 2012 05:50 IGotPlayguuu wrote:
Well, aborting is kind of egohistic in this case IMHO. When you have sex you should make sure 100.01% you are protected of you don't want to have babies. Maybe let the pregnancy finish, and when your child will be born, let people who want to have children but can't have it. I know it's going to be a problem for a young student like you GF to bear a baby for 9 months, but IMHO it's kind of your fault, so at least don't kill the baby. I know it's going to be hard letting your son be adopted, and it's going to be hard also for your son, but IMHO it's better than killing him/her right now. Give him a chance.
Judging peoples decisions and telling them to bear a child for nine months is egotistical of you. It's none of your damn business what someone does with a fetus.
By the way, in my opinion, its selfish to bring an unwanted child into the world... and if you're worried about people not being able to have children but wanting some of their own, im sure theres plenty of children looking for great homes out there already...
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On May 08 2012 02:30 ShoCkeyy wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:28 -Kaiser- wrote:On May 08 2012 02:21 Apom wrote:
Something escapes me. You are not yet in a position to properly support and raise a child. You are both in your studies. You already had a "scare" in the (recent, I assume) past. And you kept having unprotected sex ? What were you thinking ? On May 08 2012 02:22 Silidons wrote:On May 08 2012 02:20 -Kaiser- wrote:
What method of birth control were you using? seems like none On May 08 2012 02:23 bonifaceviii wrote:
What everyone else said. 1 scare already and now a pregnancy? Sounds like your family planning has been shoddy at best. On May 08 2012 02:25 FreeZEternal wrote:
OMG dude, get her on the pill or just use a damn condom. Pulling out is not birth control.... It's pretty repulsive that you all assume they were being irresponsible and not using any method of birth control. Accidents happen. Exactly, we were always safe about it. She's been on the pill well over 3 years, and I've been "sterile" since I was 13. Either my sperm turned into a super sperm for one night, or some form of entity beyond our reality put that baby there.
you can never trust doctors when it comes to that type of stuff. i've known guys who abused roids for years, doctors told them they'll never have kids, then one night their wife is pregnant.
but if she was 100% on the pill, then i don't know what to think. i've heard of stories of girls getting pregnant trying to get child support...happens every day, i know you're in love, but all those other men thought they were too.
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On May 08 2012 06:09 PanN wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 05:50 IGotPlayguuu wrote:
Well, aborting is kind of egohistic in this case IMHO. When you have sex you should make sure 100.01% you are protected of you don't want to have babies. Maybe let the pregnancy finish, and when your child will be born, let people who want to have children but can't have it. I know it's going to be a problem for a young student like you GF to bear a baby for 9 months, but IMHO it's kind of your fault, so at least don't kill the baby. I know it's going to be hard letting your son be adopted, and it's going to be hard also for your son, but IMHO it's better than killing him/her right now. Give him a chance. Judging peoples decisions and telling them to bear a child for nine months is egotistical of you. It's none of your damn business what someone does with a fetus. By the way, in my opinion, its selfish to bring an unwanted child into the world... and if you're worried about people not being able to have children but wanting some of their own, im sure theres plenty of children looking for great homes out there already...
Well, since he wrote a blog about it I gave my advice, there's really no need to attack other people opinion's this way 
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On May 08 2012 05:50 IGotPlayguuu wrote:
Well, aborting is kind of egohistic in this case IMHO. When you have sex you should make sure 100.01% you are protected of you don't want to have babies. Maybe let the pregnancy finish, and when your child will be born, let people who want to have children but can't have it. I know it's going to be a problem for a young student like you GF to bear a baby for 9 months, but IMHO it's kind of your fault, so at least don't kill the baby. I know it's going to be hard letting your son be adopted, and it's going to be hard also for your son, but IMHO it's better than killing him/her right now. Give him a chance.
If the lady doesn't want the kid, she should abort it. There's nothing moral about dictating to a pregnant woman that she basically doesn't have a right to decide what happens to her own body.
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On May 08 2012 06:22 IGotPlayguuu wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 06:09 PanN wrote:On May 08 2012 05:50 IGotPlayguuu wrote:
Well, aborting is kind of egohistic in this case IMHO. When you have sex you should make sure 100.01% you are protected of you don't want to have babies. Maybe let the pregnancy finish, and when your child will be born, let people who want to have children but can't have it. I know it's going to be a problem for a young student like you GF to bear a baby for 9 months, but IMHO it's kind of your fault, so at least don't kill the baby. I know it's going to be hard letting your son be adopted, and it's going to be hard also for your son, but IMHO it's better than killing him/her right now. Give him a chance. Judging peoples decisions and telling them to bear a child for nine months is egotistical of you. It's none of your damn business what someone does with a fetus. By the way, in my opinion, its selfish to bring an unwanted child into the world... and if you're worried about people not being able to have children but wanting some of their own, im sure theres plenty of children looking for great homes out there already... Well, since he wrote a blog about it I gave my advice, there's really no need to attack other people opinion's this way
That wasnt advice. You told him what he did wrong (as if he didnt know) and then proceeded to tell him what to do because its his "Fault".
Its basically a veiled choice vs life argument that really hasnt gotten anywhere and probably never will. That doesnt help him decide. It was however an opinion and is perfectly respectable. Just dont expect any mileage out of it because its not the first time someones had it.
As for the OP..
Good luck on whatever you decide. Sorry to hear about your problem. Im sure it will be for the best, all anyone can realistically offer is sympathy. Its something they you and your partner will eventually decide for yourselves.
See there we go now you did it. Choice vs Life..
On May 08 2012 06:31 Praetorial wrote:
Why? You force the two of them into a moral obligation of parentage by talking about their son, and imply that aborting a fetus is murder/killing. That is simply not the case. These are two individuals whose personal and academic lives would be ruined by having a child, adoption or no.
Id suggest you nip this in the bud. This will not help anyone. I apologize if im being to forward.
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On May 08 2012 06:24 babylon wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 05:50 IGotPlayguuu wrote:
Well, aborting is kind of egohistic in this case IMHO. When you have sex you should make sure 100.01% you are protected of you don't want to have babies. Maybe let the pregnancy finish, and when your child will be born, let people who want to have children but can't have it. I know it's going to be a problem for a young student like you GF to bear a baby for 9 months, but IMHO it's kind of your fault, so at least don't kill the baby. I know it's going to be hard letting your son be adopted, and it's going to be hard also for your son, but IMHO it's better than killing him/her right now. Give him a chance. If the lady doesn't want the kid, she should abort it. There's nothing moral about dictating to a pregnant woman that she basically doesn't have a right to decide what happens to her own body.
Exactly. Saying that it will "be hard for your son but IMHO better than killing him/her now" is just bad.
Why? You force the two of them into a moral obligation of parentage by talking about their son, and imply that aborting a fetus is murder/killing. That is simply not the case. These are two individuals whose personal and academic lives would be ruined by having a child, adoption or no.
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Don't turn this thread into a discussion about abortion please, there's plenty other threads for that
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Both are opinions... don't jump IGotPlayguuu for sharing what he thought in a blog. I'm sure OP can make of it what he wants.
Agreed with above who has an almost identical name. Let's support ShoCkeyy and not make it into that.
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On May 08 2012 05:59 DomiNater wrote:
The real moral problem here is not abortion, but rather the fact that you would like your dog to be reincarnated as your son.
Why is that a moral problem? The baby's not going to come out barking. I'm sure Buddhists realize reincarnation doesn't work that way.
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On May 08 2012 07:05 matiK23 wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 05:59 DomiNater wrote:
The real moral problem here is not abortion, but rather the fact that you would like your dog to be reincarnated as your son. Why is that a moral problem? The baby's not going to come out barking. I'm sure Buddhists realize reincarnation doesn't work that way.
Animal/Idol worship is one of the top 25 moral issues American's deal with on a daily basis. Trust me I google'd it... I can't be wrong now right?
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I'd imagine it's a difficult situation for you and your girlfriend (I was never in the same situation). Hope you two can make the right decision.
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Hi ShoCkeyy - in the interest of full disclosure, I should say right off the bat that I'm not for abortion. That being said, I want to encourage you that I think hardly any parent ever gets to that point where they feel "ready" for the challenge of raising a child, even the ones who plan for it. It must be scary being in your position or your gf's position; I can't imagine what'd it be like if I found out today that I have a child on the way and have less than a year to prepare for it.
But based on what you've already shared, I don't think it's going to be as simple as having an abortion and then moving on with your lives. This child has already made an impact on your gf, and you said yourself that the thought of having your "baby removed" is already causing you pain, so I want to warn you that no matter what you choose, it's not going to be easy and back to normal. I've heard many, many stories of how women never expected that having an abortion would affect them so much (due to feelings of loss, or possibly guilt, etc.) - but I can imagine the alternative (being responsible for another human being) is just as scary.
Long story short - maybe making a decision like this by yourselves in what sounds like less than 24 hours isn't necessary. Perhaps take some time to think about this and the long term implications either way. And you already sound like a fairly responsible adult with a job and who obviously cares about your gf - kids have been raised in WAY WORSE situations and beautiful stories can still emerge
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We just had a little girl. It's tough, but doable. Depends a lot on your situation.
GL either way.
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At the abortion clinic. I didn't want to go through with it, but my girlfriend does. I'm not going to stop her, she's the one that has to carry the child for 9months. Either way, I confronted her about cheating on me and she said she never did. So I decided to check myself up yesterday and guess what? I'm some what sterile now rather than full sterile as before. I have a very low sperm count and one of my buddies got through. It gives me hope for the future, but still pretty hurt about today. Let's see how things go from here. Thank you everyone for your reply. It means a great deal for me.
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I'll be thinking about you throughout the day.
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I can't write strongly enough about not choosing to abort this baby(or any baby for that matter).
I hope your gf makes the correct decision.
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I don't really have a whole lot to add to this thread, but good on you for being supportive of your girlfriend and her right to make the decision. Fuck guys who just refuse to deal with the responsibility because it infringes on their right to do whatever they want. Seriously. What the fuck.
Okay, rant over.
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On May 08 2012 22:45 ShoCkeyy wrote:
At the abortion clinic. I didn't want to go through with it, but my girlfriend does. I'm not going to stop her, she's the one that has to carry the child for 9months. Either way, I confronted her about cheating on me and she said she never did. So I decided to check myself up yesterday and guess what? I'm some what sterile now rather than full sterile as before. I have a very low sperm count and one of my buddies got through. It gives me hope for the future, but still pretty hurt about today. Let's see how things go from here. Thank you everyone for your reply. It means a great deal for me.
Already?! It's been what, less than three days since finding out? I think she's being too hasty with the decision. Even if it doesn't change the outcome I hardly believe someone who was crying so bad they couldn't make the appointment themselves was in a position to think clearly about it.
I suppose you can't change that. Even if you could, as a woman in the US she can essentially do whatever she wants despite how strongly you feel about it. At least you know you're not fully sterile and it's unfortunate it had to come to this.
She will certainly be hurting emotionally afterword. I'm amazed you could go with her and still support her (I couldn't). Regardless, You're going to need each other's support for a while, so don't hold anything back from her.
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At least you know its all working down there.
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Well, she couldn't do the regular surgery. She opted to do the "Pill" procedure, which I don't even know she will take or do. Either way, she's been a month pregnant, so yea, we'll see what happens.
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These aren't beanie babies you're destroying...THEY'RE HUMAN LIVES. Do you understand the gravity of that? Grow up.
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On May 09 2012 06:16 KING CHARLIE :D wrote:
These aren't beanie babies you're destroying...THEY'RE HUMAN LIVES. Do you understand the gravity of that? Grow up.
Grow up yourself. The earth is over populated. More people should have abortions and there should be a law to the number of kids that you can have. Otherwise eventually we are going to run out of space and resources. This guy isn't ready to have a kid anyways.
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Well hey, atleast u can still have babys right? nows just not ur time
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Hope you make the right choice. Don't want to get into the whole abortion argument.
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On May 08 2012 02:41 Mr. Wiggles wrote:
Why don't you go get re-checked to see if you're still sterile?
This is an excellent idea.
If you are indeed sterile, then we're having a whole new discussion here. A few new problems are introduced, but some are removed, namely, it won't be your child.
I'm very suspicious of this whole thing. Are you withholding information from your readers? Your attitude seems to be, "Wow, I can't believe this happened. Oh well, that sucks!" Surely you're withholding your distrust of your lover? Or your rage against your doctor?
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On May 09 2012 06:08 ShoCkeyy wrote:
Well, she couldn't do the regular surgery. She opted to do the "Pill" procedure, which I don't even know she will take or do. Either way, she's been a month pregnant, so yea, we'll see what happens.
"Pill" procedure is pretty dramatic. First she takes a pill that essentially stops the fetus from developing further. Then 24 hours later or so, she will take another pill which works to cause the uterus to expel the lining and the fetus. Now, pregnancy causes a lot of buildup along the wall, even early, when compared to say the normal female cycle. She will bleed, bleed, bleed, bleed, bleed. For hours upon hours. She will be in pain the entire time as well. Keep in mind that comes out is not just the blood of the vein, it condensed blood mixed with mucus and god knows what else (and by god I mean biologists), as well as whatever the state of the fetus is.
It does only last one day. But from what I've seen and read, it's still worse than you probably think.
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On May 09 2012 00:57 Servius_Fulvius wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 22:45 ShoCkeyy wrote:
At the abortion clinic. I didn't want to go through with it, but my girlfriend does. I'm not going to stop her, she's the one that has to carry the child for 9months. Either way, I confronted her about cheating on me and she said she never did. So I decided to check myself up yesterday and guess what? I'm some what sterile now rather than full sterile as before. I have a very low sperm count and one of my buddies got through. It gives me hope for the future, but still pretty hurt about today. Let's see how things go from here. Thank you everyone for your reply. It means a great deal for me. Already?! It's been what, less than three days since finding out? I think she's being too hasty with the decision. Even if it doesn't change the outcome I hardly believe someone who was crying so bad they couldn't make the appointment themselves was in a position to think clearly about it. I suppose you can't change that. Even if you could, as a woman in the US she can essentially do whatever she wants despite how strongly you feel about it. At least you know you're not fully sterile and it's unfortunate it had to come to this. She will certainly be hurting emotionally afterword. I'm amazed you could go with her and still support her (I couldn't). Regardless, You're going to need each other's support for a while, so don't hold anything back from her.
God, that's really ignorant. Oh how could she feel that way? Well fuck man, she's the one who's pregnant. She's probably completely overwhelmed with emotions of guilt, rage, depression, uncertainty. How many days is enough for you? 4 days? 5 days? Should he get his girlfriend to call you so you can approve her state of mind? She's fucked either way. Most women, even the most pro-choice, are not emotionally detached from the existence (or non-existence) of their own fetus/baby. If she keeps it, she sacrifices her future, and dooms the child to single-inept-parent land, the world of rotating fathers and foster homes. No offense, OP, this is usually what happens. It's a child she keeps out of guilt instead of love. That's a dangerous environment. And if she gets rid of it, she feels guilty, a guilt that will never fully go away, and the social stigma alone is pretty harsh. And fuck, if she's at all religious? Holy shit.
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So my girlfriend took the pill.
I don't know how many more losses my heart can take. I've been going on an emotional ride for over three years now. Time will only tell.
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On May 09 2012 14:19 ShoCkeyy wrote:
So my girlfriend took the pill.
I don't know how many more losses my heart can take. I've been going on an emotional ride for over three years now. Time will only tell.
time heals all wounds, and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Just be determined, and try to stay positive. Now is a critical time for your GF as well, so if you mope around it will just make her feel worse.
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Edit: Never mind, just read the last few pages. Best of luck to both of you, props for talking it over with her and letting her make her own decision and respecting it.
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On May 09 2012 06:16 KING CHARLIE :D wrote:
These aren't beanie babies you're destroying...THEY'RE HUMAN LIVES. Do you understand the gravity of that? Grow up.
If only 1% of your blogs are true, you should "understand the gravity" of someone not being ready to (properly) raise children.
And yeah op, get checked if you're still sterile.
Edit: nvm, read you latest post(s) good luck to you and your GF I hope you get through this
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Blazinghand
United States25551 Posts
On May 09 2012 14:19 ShoCkeyy wrote:
So my girlfriend took the pill.
I don't know how many more losses my heart can take. I've been going on an emotional ride for over three years now. Time will only tell.
It's very brave of you to share everything here. Whatever happens, TL Blogs will be here to support you. Stay strong <3
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On May 09 2012 19:37 Blazinghand wrote:Show nested quote +On May 09 2012 14:19 ShoCkeyy wrote:
So my girlfriend took the pill.
I don't know how many more losses my heart can take. I've been going on an emotional ride for over three years now. Time will only tell. It's very brave of you to share everything here. Whatever happens, TL Blogs will be here to support you. Stay strong <3
TL has always been my home since '04, I think I've shared a lot with this site. But once again thanks everyone for the support.
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United States8017 Posts
On May 09 2012 12:25 MountainDewJunkie wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:41 Mr. Wiggles wrote:
Why don't you go get re-checked to see if you're still sterile? This is an excellent idea. If you are indeed sterile, then we're having a whole new discussion here. A few new problems are introduced, but some are removed, namely, it won't be your child. I'm very suspicious of this whole thing. Are you withholding information from your readers? Your attitude seems to be, "Wow, I can't believe this happened. Oh well, that sucks!" Surely you're withholding your distrust of your lover? Or your rage against your doctor?
I agree with most of what you have written but...huh?
I'm assuming this would be connected to him actually having some level of fertility. But why would he be mad at the doctor, unless he had reason to believe the doctor was negligent or careless in administering/interpreting the tests that led to that conclusion?
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Thank you for being responsible and deciding to abort the baby. There has been a lot of controversy over the legalization of the procedure but I believe that it is important for people such as yourself. I hope things go well with your relationship and you continue to make smart and responsible decisions.
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On May 08 2012 02:11 ShoCkeyy wrote:
We talked about the situation, we agreed to having an abortion though.
oh fuck i have to stop reading these blogs. trying so hard not to judge...
whatever. people gonna do what they gonna do. God bless ya son.
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On May 10 2012 07:25 sc2superfan101 wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:11 ShoCkeyy wrote:
We talked about the situation, we agreed to having an abortion though.
oh fuck i have to stop reading these blogs. trying so hard not to judge... whatever. people gonna do what they gonna do. God bless ya son.
So you'd rather a child be born to unprepared parents, and live a shitty life filled with hardship?
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United States8017 Posts
On May 10 2012 15:57 bokchoi wrote:Show nested quote +On May 10 2012 07:25 sc2superfan101 wrote:On May 08 2012 02:11 ShoCkeyy wrote:
We talked about the situation, we agreed to having an abortion though.
oh fuck i have to stop reading these blogs. trying so hard not to judge... whatever. people gonna do what they gonna do. God bless ya son. So you'd rather a child be born to unprepared parents, and live a shitty life filled with hardship?
There is no guarantee by any means the child is going to have a shitty life. It may be more likely but money/economic status is hardly the most important thing out there.
Even if there was an extremely high chance of this happening...is it really better to murder the child than to give him or her the chance to live and forge a life of his own?
Again though, alot of it comes down to your beliefs. Take for instance, a 6 month old or a 1 year old in the same situation. No one suggests the child should be killed because it's likely to have a shitty life filled with hardships. When you believe as I do, that life begins immediately at conception, their really isn't another option. It's not for other people to decide if a person should live or die...it should absolutely be that persons choice and his choice alone.
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On May 10 2012 07:25 sc2superfan101 wrote:
God bless ya son.
i heard this actually means "fuck you" from all the crazy religious fanatic townies in my small rural college town
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Abortion in my eyes is correct before the heart starts to form. The reason why I say this is because the unborn child has no thought process before this. It doesn't even know its going to be born. There is no brain activity. I for one like I said, wanted to keep the baby. But my girlfriend chose other wise.
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On May 10 2012 17:12 KurtistheTurtle wrote:i heard this actually means "fuck you" from all the crazy religious fanatic townies in my small rural college town
That could be true and it's hard to tell on the internet but I'd give the benefit of the doubt. It's honestly really hard to tell someone "God bless you" through this medium without it coming across that way though. I'm saddened by the situation but I can truly say God bless you and I pray for the best to come.
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United States8017 Posts
On May 10 2012 22:53 ShoCkeyy wrote:
Abortion in my eyes is correct before the heart starts to form. The reason why I say this is because the unborn child has no thought process before this. It doesn't even know its going to be born. There is no brain activity. I for one like I said, wanted to keep the baby. But my girlfriend chose other wise.
Understandable. Even though I obviously dislike very much the idea of abortion, I understand that many people see the point of life at different points and am not going to hold them to my moral standards based on my own beliefs.
I can only imagine how tough it must be whichever way you end up choosing and wish you the best in the future.
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On May 10 2012 22:53 ShoCkeyy wrote:
Abortion in my eyes is correct before the heart starts to form. The reason why I say this is because the unborn child has no thought process before this. It doesn't even know its going to be born. There is no brain activity. I for one like I said, wanted to keep the baby. But my girlfriend chose other wise.
Good for you for respecting your GF to let her go with the decision and good luck in the future!
Semi-Offtopic the only thing is I can't understand is your pro-abortion rationale. Nobody knows they will be born, and we all know the potential for the unborn child, so it doesn't seem like it matters in which "stage" the fetus is. That entire thought process has always urked me.
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Blazinghand
United States25551 Posts
I hope everything works out okay for your ShoCkeyy. These things can be hard, and it must not be easy to share things here on TL.
Let's not discuss abortion on his blog, okay guys? Don't even go there. This isn't the place.
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On May 11 2012 06:44 Slardar wrote:Show nested quote +On May 10 2012 22:53 ShoCkeyy wrote:
Abortion in my eyes is correct before the heart starts to form. The reason why I say this is because the unborn child has no thought process before this. It doesn't even know its going to be born. There is no brain activity. I for one like I said, wanted to keep the baby. But my girlfriend chose other wise. Good for you for respecting your GF to let her go with the decision and good luck in the future! Semi-Offtopic the only thing is I can't understand is your pro-abortion rationale. Nobody knows they will be born, and we all know the potential for the unborn child, so it doesn't seem like it matters in which "stage" the fetus is. That entire thought process has always urked me.
Part of the argument is that a person has potential, yes, but there's no 'person' yet to have potential. And then you go into the philosophical definitions of what constitutes personhood and whether they're valid or not, which is a discussion for another thread entirely.
Anyways, it's good you're handling this issue and being supportive, ShoCkeyy. Hopefully things turn out well in the end - I'd never want to end up in that situation :<
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Just remember that there are no wrong choices here. Since your girlfriend decided on abortion, you can both feel relieved that you won't end up with a messed up baby or teenager or anything, and your girlfriend's bones won't have melted from not having enough calcium for both her and the baby, and you won't have to suffer from the mood swings that pregnancy brings, among other things. (If you went through with having the baby, I'll have motivational things to say about that too.)
Doctors told my boyfriend's mom that she's infertile. She ended up having 3 kids and then her uterus was removed. So... that's that. You'll have a next time, hopefully when you're both more prepared for it.
Best of luck to you!
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On May 10 2012 17:12 KurtistheTurtle wrote:i heard this actually means "fuck you" from all the crazy religious fanatic townies in my small rural college town
i guess it probably does for some people. for me it means:
"goddamn you just did or went through something that will probably stay with your eternal soul for a long time and if you've got any shot of making it out okay you're gonna need God's help cause I'm about as powerless as can be to help you."
and it was a lot nicer than some of the other things i wanted to say and honestly, those other things should never be said by anyone so i decided i might as well say a nice thing that should be said.
edit: i don't want to sound like im blasting the OP though, cause im not. he was caught in what sounds like a really tough situation and besides it wasnt like it is all his choice or whatever.
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Too much holier than thou attitude!
GL OP. I doubt it's any comfort but you've reinforced my resolve to never go anywhere unprotected again!
An old friend of mine just had a child. He's 24, she's barely 18. They've been together for about a year and they are now engaged. He had actually asked me to be his best man for the girlfriend before last. I'm really worried how this is going to turn out.
I also do voluntary work at a child contact centre - this is where separated parents bring their children so that the parent who doesn't have custody (90% of the time the father) can see them. It's a supervised environment for the parents that are not mature or civil enough to show respect for each other. I really hope that those who are mature enough are the majority. We have screaming and shouting. We have parents playing the children off against their ex-partners. All of this often happens in the presence of the children.
For what it's worth I think you have probably made the best decision (let's leave wrong and right out of this). For these reasons I hope that if I do ever have children it's a responsible decision made in the correct environment.
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On May 10 2012 07:25 sc2superfan101 wrote:Show nested quote +On May 08 2012 02:11 ShoCkeyy wrote:
We talked about the situation, we agreed to having an abortion though.
oh fuck i have to stop reading these blogs. trying so hard not to judge... whatever. people gonna do what they gonna do. God bless ya son.
There's this thing called an opportunity cost. When you spend money and time on the things you enjoy there's a lot of things that time and money could have been spent on instead. For example helping starving children in Africa. I'm guessing you buy yourself nice things and don't spend all your extra money or time helping children not die from starvation, and you probably don't even think about it. This isn't like the past where the world is too big for you to help others around the world either so there's no real excuse other than we all live for ourselves and you either accept that fact or live as a hypocrite. There are varying degrees of evil but the vast majority of us care more about having a refreshing soda or shiny new computer than saving the money to help someone actually in need and when you do, you are basically letting people die. And no donating a bit of money every year or volunteering doesn't mean shit and it shouldn't be the reason you do it anyways.
Jesus would be ashamed of most of the modern day hypocrites that say they are religious.(at least in the western world, I think he'd like a lot of people that practice eastern religions)
There I made it easier for you to not judge others from now on.
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On May 12 2012 00:23 Nibbler89 wrote:Show nested quote +On May 10 2012 07:25 sc2superfan101 wrote:On May 08 2012 02:11 ShoCkeyy wrote:
We talked about the situation, we agreed to having an abortion though.
oh fuck i have to stop reading these blogs. trying so hard not to judge... whatever. people gonna do what they gonna do. God bless ya son. There's this thing called an opportunity cost. When you spend money and time on the things you enjoy there's a lot of things that time and money could have been spent on instead. For example helping starving children in Africa. I'm guessing you buy yourself nice things and don't spend all your extra money or time helping children not die from starvation, and you probably don't even think about it. This isn't like the past where the world is too big for you to help others around the world either so there's no real excuse other than we all live for ourselves and you either accept that fact or live as a hypocrite. There are varying degrees of evil but the vast majority of us care more about having a refreshing soda or shiny new computer than saving the money to help someone actually in need. And no donating a bit of money every year or volunteering doesn't mean shit and it shouldn't be the reason you do it anyways. Jesus would be ashamed of most of the modern day hypocrites that say they are religious.(at least in the western world, I think he'd like a lot of people that practice eastern religions) There I made it easier for you to not judge others from now on.
well therein lies the problem (and after this post we gotta move this to PM's cause its bordering on off-topic):
just cause i judge myself (and i shouldn't) doesn't mean that its easier to not judge other people. ill be the first person to admit that i am generally a piece of dog shit, but that don't mean it makes it easy for me to look at something i don't think is right and not judge the person who does it. its the "i may be a POS, but at least i don't do that!" syndrome. yeah its wrong and it makes me an even bigger POS, but there it is. we all got our flaws and thats one of mine i s'pose. i try to keep my judgements to a minimum, and thought i actually succeeded pretty well here.
imo Jesus is ashamed of the vast, vast, vast majority of people that will ever live and ever have lived. but thats a discussion for another time and another place. the fact is: what happened here happened and it has nothing to do with me and i just hope everyone involved can get out ok and maybe learn a thing or two. gl to all involved.
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Sorry but...
DAFUQ i just read? Your best friend is a dog, that you just lost and believe be reincarnated as your unborn baby while she was on the pill and you are sterile? Strangest story of my life o_O
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On May 12 2012 10:17 ruiyang wrote:
Sorry but...
DAFUQ i just read? Your best friend is a dog, that you just lost and believe be reincarnated as your unborn baby while she was on the pill and you are sterile? Strangest story of my life o_O
I never said I believed that my dog was reincarnated to my unborn child, I said it was a possibility... You never know with how life is and since we don't know what happens with life after death.
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On May 12 2012 10:31 ShoCkeyy wrote:Show nested quote +On May 12 2012 10:17 ruiyang wrote:
Sorry but...
DAFUQ i just read? Your best friend is a dog, that you just lost and believe be reincarnated as your unborn baby while she was on the pill and you are sterile? Strangest story of my life o_O I never said I believed that my dog was reincarnated to my unborn child, I said it was a possibility... You never know with how life is and since we don't know what happens with life after death.
Im sorry, but a lot of things dont add up. Your still considering the possibility of your dog reincarnated as your unborn child. Cant tell whether just really stupid or best troll ever.
In any case. You need to sit down and think carefully. How did this happen? Are you really sterile? If yes, is it a miracle (might be your only chance to get a kid) or is it a disaster (possibility of her cheating). Do you really love her? If yes, enough to deal with all the burdens? Enough to raise a kid? Money isnt necessarily the biggest problem. Making the choice that leaves least scars to your and her life is more important. Mental scars.
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On May 12 2012 11:09 ruiyang wrote:Show nested quote +On May 12 2012 10:31 ShoCkeyy wrote:On May 12 2012 10:17 ruiyang wrote:
Sorry but...
DAFUQ i just read? Your best friend is a dog, that you just lost and believe be reincarnated as your unborn baby while she was on the pill and you are sterile? Strangest story of my life o_O I never said I believed that my dog was reincarnated to my unborn child, I said it was a possibility... You never know with how life is and since we don't know what happens with life after death. Im sorry, but a lot of things dont add up. Your still considering the possibility of your dog reincarnated as your unborn child. Cant tell whether just really stupid or best troll ever. In any case. You need to sit down and think carefully. How did this happen? Are you really sterile? If yes, is it a miracle (might be your only chance to get a kid) or is it a disaster (possibility of her cheating). Do you really love her? If yes, enough to deal with all the burdens? Enough to raise a kid? Money isnt necessarily the biggest problem. Making the choice that leaves least scars to your and her life is more important. Mental scars.
Have you read the blog at all? Lol, a lot of those questions were already answered.
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On May 12 2012 10:31 ShoCkeyy wrote:Show nested quote +On May 12 2012 10:17 ruiyang wrote:
Sorry but...
DAFUQ i just read? Your best friend is a dog, that you just lost and believe be reincarnated as your unborn baby while she was on the pill and you are sterile? Strangest story of my life o_O I never said I believed that my dog was reincarnated to my unborn child, I said it was a possibility... You never know with how life is and since we don't know what happens with life after death.
Yeah well don't fill your head with such possibilities just because they feel good, it's not very wise. You're quick to deny the very real possibility that she cheated on you, which seems likely seeing how you're supposed to be sterile, and yet you're messing around with the idea that a dog is reincarnating in your apparently not-so-serious girlfriend in order to give you what borders on a teenage pregnancy, and by extension kind of screws up your life tbh.
If you'll dick around in the world of wacky "possibilities", maybe your gf will give birth to a unicorn or a very intricate piece of furniture. I don't know if you intend to be a dad, but if you do, get your shit together.
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EPT
