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[Girl Blog] WTF is going on?... - Page 2

Blogs > UmbraaeternuS
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Prev 1 2 All
matiK23
Profile Joined May 2011
United States963 Posts
March 06 2012 06:39 GMT
#21
Yea you should talk to her and ask what you guys are doing? If you feel like you need space to think things through, tell her that. Do whatever your instinct is telling you to do.
Without a paddle up shit creek.
lannisport
Profile Joined February 2012
878 Posts
March 06 2012 06:48 GMT
#22
From someone who's had good and terribly bad fwbs let me tell you that they never work right after a breakup!! some one always takes it too seriously while the other messes around with other people. So get away now and lay down the ground rules.

My first time around with a fwb I was in your same situation. We started resuming not only sleeping with each other we were doing things tigether and not only hung out with eachother but with each others friends. I sort of fell hard for her but she was seeing someone else already.

She always told me shed rather sleep with exs than with new strangers....Anyways what I learned the hard way was its better to wait and preferably see other people before voing into a fwb after a relationship.

When you have very little of something you automatically lust for it singlemindedly and become needy. But if you're surrounded by it and have many you don't care and can distance yourself. That's the power of choice.
DyEnasTy
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States3720 Posts
March 06 2012 07:27 GMT
#23
On March 06 2012 13:37 metbull wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 06 2012 13:27 Megaliskuu wrote:
On March 06 2012 13:04 dAPhREAk wrote:
she is sleeping with other men.


This ^

She didn't want to "cheat" on you, so now yall are just FWB so she can get it from other guys too without feeling guilty nomsayin?

This ^
Which means your sharing your toys ............. And who knows if those other kids disinfect their toys.
Get out my man. Before you get something more than a weird non-relationship relationship.

Edit: And even if she isn't hooking up with other guys it's just messed up. Unless you clearly define what type of relationship (FWB or whatever) it's ultimately hurting both of you; because the longer you hang on to a sinking ship the farther it will pull you under. Let go, inflate your life preserver, get rescued, and move on. FWB only slows you down from starting a new relationship once this one is doomed.


^ This this. Its not worth the headache and pain you will feel later. Get OUT.
Much better to die an awesome Terran than to live as a magic wielding fairy or a mindless sac of biological goop. -Manifesto7
Kamais Ookin
Profile Joined January 2012
Canada591 Posts
March 06 2012 07:44 GMT
#24
Don't stick your dick in crazy, simple as that.
MAL Profile: http://myanimelist.net/profile/Kamais_Ookin Twitch account streaming fighting games and PC games, etc twitch.tv/kamais_ookin
Hidden_MotiveS
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada2562 Posts
March 06 2012 08:10 GMT
#25
On March 06 2012 14:03 RaspberrySC2 wrote:
She's told you that she thinks she can do better than you.

Proceed accordingly.

Other way around.
Wrongspeedy
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States1655 Posts
March 06 2012 08:18 GMT
#26
On March 06 2012 17:10 Hidden_MotiveS wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 06 2012 14:03 RaspberrySC2 wrote:
She's told you that she thinks she can do better than you.

Proceed accordingly.

Other way around.


HAHAHA so she made him think.
It is better to be a human dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied.- John Stuart Mill
UmbraaeternuS
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Chile476 Posts
March 06 2012 12:10 GMT
#27
I'd like to thank everyone who took their time to share their thoughts about this with me.


Especially mordk. Gotta love the hometown advice.
On March 06 2012 13:24 mordk wrote:
Well, the thing about a friends with benefits relationship, which I've learned from experience in time haha, is that everything must be crystal clear for it to work. If you don't know WTF is going on, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!!

Whenever you're in this type of friendship and you start getting confused and wondering what's happening, you need to raise your alarms and stop right there and think. If you have any doubts, this kind of relationship should be open enough to allow you to directly ask what is going on. Also you should start from the base that making your ex-GF your friend with benefits is a goddamn terrible idea.

So basically, what you have to do is stop for a while and think, try to answer the following questions:

-Why are you her friend with benefits? If the answer is anything related to love, you're in for a bad time.
-What are you expecting from her in relation to you? Know this, in a friends with benefits relationship, you can ONLY expect her to behave like your friend, if you expect anything else you don't truly grasp the concept.
-How would you feel if it ended? If you feel your heart will be destroyed by it, then again, you're doing it wrong.

After doing this, and thinking that the most likely answer will be to end it, you should back off. Don't think about her, think about yourself, protect yourself from suffering and find a different person to satisfy your physical needs.

Now, if you want to actually be her BF again, your best bet would be to end the whole friends with benefits thing and force her to make a decision, if she wants to break up indefinitely, then stay away, do what people do when they break up, and see what happens.

By doing this you're basically postponing the inevitable.

With my friend with benefits, who is also my best friend, we have an insane amount of trust in each other, so whenever I have doubts about something I just tell her and we discuss it, and so far she's done the same. But the whole reason it works is that we both are really clear about what we want, why we want it, and the whole set of conditions and rules under which it has developed. A friendship with benefits is first and foremost, a friendship, and you have to respect a friendship.

If your frienship with benefits is first and foremost, a romantic relationship, it should either develop into a real relationship, or end, there's nothing more to it.


+ Show Spoiler +

Sabis que tenis toda la razón wn... Estoy puro hueviando, vale por el consejo xD

therealwinters - Skype / @DrUmbra - Twitter // "There is nothing more cool than being proud of the things that you love" - Sean "Day[9]" Plott <3
Mementoss
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Canada2595 Posts
March 06 2012 13:00 GMT
#28
Her master plan is to get an STD from another guy and give it to you.
Don't make fuck-buddies with your ex.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uu96xMwFVXw
UmbraaeternuS
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Chile476 Posts
March 06 2012 14:24 GMT
#29
On March 06 2012 22:00 Mementoss wrote:
Her master plan is to get an STD from another guy and give it to you.
Don't make fuck-buddies with your ex.


Well, that was blunt xD
I get it, I get it. Don't stick dick in crazy.
Will talk to her tonight... Will try to do it before my daily netcast so I can rant about it later, LOL ._.
therealwinters - Skype / @DrUmbra - Twitter // "There is nothing more cool than being proud of the things that you love" - Sean "Day[9]" Plott <3
FFGenerations
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
7088 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-13 19:03:06
April 13 2012 16:37 GMT
#30
On March 06 2012 13:53 Cowpieguy wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 06 2012 13:24 hp.Shell wrote:
There's an article you can find that has its source within the PUA community that basically says desirable women have no honor and will cheat if their emotions are telling them it's a good idea. I'm not sure if I agree with it completely but I think my perspective on women is more balanced having read it.

Edit: Found it.

Edit2: If any ladies read this I'd love to hear your perspective.



Holy shit. That was an amazing read, and it wasn't even very long. I would recommend reading it though it's kind of painful to read if you haven't had much success with women. Also, I think the people who say she is sleeping with other guys are right.


wow, great short sharp summary of many of the things ive read and seem to relate to in the past

i know old topic is old, but people who havent seen it might appreciate this post, and also interested if people actually have arguements or experiences / thoughts against the things in it
Cool BW Music Vid - youtube.com/watch?v=W54nlqJ-Nx8 ~~~~~ ᕤ OYSTERS ᕤ CLAMS ᕤ AND ᕤ CUCKOLDS ᕤ ~~~~~~ ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ PUNCH HIM ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ
Servius_Fulvius
Profile Joined August 2009
United States947 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-13 18:58:12
April 13 2012 18:57 GMT
#31
On March 06 2012 23:24 UmbraaeternuS wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 06 2012 22:00 Mementoss wrote:
Her master plan is to get an STD from another guy and give it to you.
Don't make fuck-buddies with your ex.


Well, that was blunt xD
I get it, I get it. Don't stick dick in crazy.
Will talk to her tonight... Will try to do it before my daily netcast so I can rant about it later, LOL ._.


First of all, your original post talked about not being able to figure the girl out anymore. It is a fundamental mistake to think you can do this. You're trying to rationalize the emotions of another person. It's not going to work. You should stop.

Anyway, if you're too good to date then you're too good to screw. It's ok, your penis got the best of you last time. This time try to have more self-respect - you can clearly do better.

The best fix to a breakup is usually cutting off communication for a while. I know you think you can "just be friends" but I think it's confusing you more than anything...

Edit: This is an old post? Wish I would have paid attention to THAT sooner......I'm curious if there's an update!
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