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JieXian
Malaysia4677 Posts
So, I have a stupid question to ask: I'm wondering what's your definition of "confidence" that keeps popping up everywhere in US shows. Is it to talk confidently without stammering or not being shy? Not over-putting make up? Not hunching? What is it for you or should be? And another one: And I watched an episode of coupling recommened by zatic http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0549648/. It's quite funny but what the hell is a date to you or should be? I'm really curious to see your views.   | ||
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Probulous
Australia3894 Posts
You're welcome. | ||
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forgotten0ne
United States951 Posts
Seriously, that's the true definition. A lot of people are going to give you relative definitions, but they aren't as concrete as this one. | ||
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DyEnasTy
United States3714 Posts
people who know me (really know me) know that im very confident in myself. but this didnt come naturally to me. ive had to work extra hard all my life to keep up with people who get things easier. but for me this has been a good thing, and it "shows". | ||
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JieXian
Malaysia4677 Posts
On July 15 2011 15:17 DyEnasTy wrote: confidence to me is a fine line. if it comes on too strong it sounds like arrogance. or if it sounds like a "face" than it sounds weak like your bragging. too me confidence is something that you carry with you, it comes to you when you either stop being obsessed with how others perceive you, or you have been very successful and dont go around bragging about it, but rather it just "shows". people who know me (really know me) know that im very confident in myself. but this didnt come naturally to me. ive had to work extra hard all my life to keep up with people who get things easier. but for me this has been a good thing, and it "shows". I see that you seem to be very confident. + Show Spoiler + no trolling intended hahaha thanks for the reply | ||
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DyEnasTy
United States3714 Posts
On July 15 2011 15:20 JieXian wrote: I see that you seem to be very confident. + Show Spoiler + no trolling intended hahaha thanks for the reply lol I noticed that I wrote "to me" or "for me" alot. lol, i really need to refrain from posting after drinking. | ||
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KurtistheTurtle
United States1966 Posts
When you're confronted with a decision where you perceive a lot of resources are going to be risked you'll be afraid to lose them (money, self-esteem, time, opportunity, etc). Confidence is the result of making a decision to risk regardless of the fear, and--important and counterintuitive--confidence goes up whether or not you're successful. Have a quote for this. if I remembered where it was from I'd credit it: "Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?" he heard his own voice saying, small and far away. And his father's voice replied to him. "That is the only time a man can be brave." Bravery is the mechanism which brings confidence. | ||
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jeeeeohn
United States1343 Posts
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KurtistheTurtle
United States1966 Posts
On July 15 2011 15:27 jeeeeohn wrote: Being comfortable in your own skin is confidence. None of this nonsense of "walking a certain way" or puffing out your chest or whatever. It's the ability to be in a crowd and not lose yourself. Partly true. Being comfortable in your own skin indicates good confidence. Think "being comfortable in own skin" just requires other aspects of your life to be in balance in addition to confidence too | ||
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JieXian
Malaysia4677 Posts
On July 15 2011 15:15 forgotten0ne wrote: Confidence is simply the opposite of fear. You have full belief in yourself, and your ability to navigate your surroundings. Seriously, that's the true definition. A lot of people are going to give you relative definitions, but they aren't as concrete as this one. You see, I know what confidence means but the way I keep hearing it being tossed around... the relative definitions matter to my -- understanding of the term. No one answered the second question yet.. Is that a sign? | ||
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KurtistheTurtle
United States1966 Posts
When you ask "what does confidence mean" its asking people "how is this word that connotates being secure in your decisions despite the situation" defined by you? and everybody can throw different little parts of it at you. if you're putting your definition together and its mostly formed, you can just add them on. but if you have no idea, it can be really confusing. and in the US, character & confidence & responsibility and all those words are bullshitted to death without anybody actually teaching what they ARE, not just what the textbook definition is. I've found most people who actually know aren't able to articulate it, but they're able to communicate it. Since TL is a nerd website i gave sort of a clinical def. | ||
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KurtistheTurtle
United States1966 Posts
everybody has preferences, needs, desires, boundaries, and all the little parts which make who they are. a date is when you and another person discover each other, you discover all these little parts of who they are, who they seem to be, and decide if you want them in your life & how you want them in it. you also decide what you want to show them. a date usually means the formal act of spending time with another in a "romantic" (again many connotations here) setting. but really a "date" is any interaction past the requisite initial exchanges between people. they can be microdates (5 min together walking to class) or megadates (dinner, movie, boat ride, sex) and anywhere in between. | ||
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CharlieBrownsc
Canada598 Posts
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JieXian
Malaysia4677 Posts
On July 15 2011 15:35 KurtistheTurtle wrote: little rant. Asking this isn't a stupid question. This word, without context, can mean pretty much fucking anything. "yeah bro, i took her into my confidence" Words mean different things to different people. When you ask "what does confidence mean" its asking people "how is this word that connotates being secure in your decisions despite the situation" defined by you? and everybody can throw different little parts of it at you. if you're putting your definition together and its mostly formed, you can just add them on. but if you have no idea, it can be really confusing. and in the US, character & confidence & responsibility and all those words are bullshitted to death without anybody actually teaching what they ARE, not just what the textbook definition is. I've found most people who actually know aren't able to articulate it, but they're able to communicate it. Since TL is a nerd website i gave sort of a clinical def. So it's a word bullshitted to death then? Ahhh no wonder | ||
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TheSwamp
United States1497 Posts
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KurtistheTurtle
United States1966 Posts
self esteem = happiness most of what people define confidence as are symptoms of having high self esteem which is often mistakenly used interchangeably with "confidence" and a lot of people get temporary high self esteem but have weak boundaries so it changes with their environment, who they're around, and their perceived success | ||
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101toss
3232 Posts
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Torte de Lini
Germany38463 Posts
Aristotle, right? | ||
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tryummm
774 Posts
I could literally post a few pages worth of post on confidence and how to develop it, but I'll control myself and stop there since you just asked for a definition. | ||
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Alabasern
United States4005 Posts
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JieXian
Malaysia4677 Posts
On July 15 2011 16:31 tryummm wrote: You already have confidence. You might not have it when or where you want it, but you have it. Confidence is knowing. Its an inner certainty and absolutely nothing can change it. It doesn't matter what happens, what people say, or what they do. It cannot be challenged. After the Wright brothers conducted the first manned flight do you think others telling them "You can't fly" would change what they knew? Their reply would be "I know I can, and I just did." Their confidence in their ability to fly would not be hindered. I could literally post a few pages worth of post on confidence and how to develop it, but I'll control myself and stop there since you just asked for a definition. Don't worry I'm not looking to develop confidence hahaha. Not at all looking for definitions and trying to follow them. I'm just curious to the meaning behind the word that gets tossed around. And so far I'm happy with the replies :D | ||
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JieXian
Malaysia4677 Posts
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evanthebouncy!
United States12796 Posts
Know what you want, know how to get what you want, got want you want, and say how you did it. | ||
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hazelynut
United States2196 Posts
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KurtistheTurtle
United States1966 Posts
don't invest energy into them because they're out of your control posted another really crappy blog that got closed in less than 5 minutes. was giggling when i wrote it. why do i always do this when im really tired. good night lol | ||
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tryummm
774 Posts
On July 15 2011 17:00 evanthebouncy! wrote: confidence is this for me: Know what you want, know how to get what you want, got want you want, and say how you did it. I don't agree with that formula. That's a formula for losing. Do you think Ed Hillary knew how to get to the top of Mount Everest when he came up with the idea that he would climb it? Of course not. If you think about doing something and you know how you are going to do it, that means you are doing something you have already done before. There is no motivation in doing something you have done before, and there is no growth in it. When you come up with an idea that will result in personal growth you won't know how to get what you want. You will only know the next step. Then once you take that step, you will come up with another. And another, and so on. You progressively realize worthy ideals, you don't realize them then achieve them. | ||
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Hassybaby
United Kingdom10823 Posts
Its shutting up that voice in your head telling you that maybe its not a good idea, or caging that butterfly in your stomach when you try something Like seeing Riku in public, going up to her to say "I love you", without worrying too much about of you fail, or make an ass of yourself (For the record, I don't know you well enough Riku to say that, I just had a feeling you'd see this and would appreciate the link to your blogs) | ||
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BottleAbuser
Korea (South)1888 Posts
Appearing confident while not appearing to be pretentious or arrogant, however, ... | ||
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Iranon
United States983 Posts
On July 15 2011 15:26 KurtistheTurtle wrote: Confidence is the lack of anxiety. Anxiety is the lack of confidence. Kind of like light/dark. When you're confronted with a decision where you perceive a lot of resources are going to be risked you'll be afraid to lose them (money, self-esteem, time, opportunity, etc). Confidence is the result of making a decision to risk regardless of the fear, and--important and counterintuitive--confidence goes up whether or not you're successful. Have a quote for this. if I remembered where it was from I'd credit it: Bravery is the mechanism which brings confidence. FWIW, that quote is from A Game of Thrones. It's from Bran's point of view. | ||
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BottleAbuser
Korea (South)1888 Posts
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FlaminGinjaNinja
United Kingdom879 Posts
On July 15 2011 15:15 Probulous wrote: If you are willing to flop it out you are confident... You're welcome. ROFL, or your on a date ^^ To the OP, type "define confidence" into google: 1. Full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing: We have every confidence in their ability to succeed. 2. Belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance: His lack of confidence defeated him. 3. Certitude; assurance: He described the situation with such confidence that the audience believed him completely. | ||
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masami.sc
United States445 Posts
Not giving a shit about what others think of you. That's basically it. | ||
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TheGiz
Canada708 Posts
People who are confident are sure of themselves and approach situations without fear of failure. This has the recursive effect of preventing failure. The boldness comes into play because confident people are often able to enter into uncertain situations that a more cautious or prudent person would avoid. Too much confidence and boldness can also be a bad thing, because it might make you somewhat of a buffoon to people. You want to stand out positively and succeed, but never stand out and fail. The nail that sticks out gets hammered - so you better be a good nail. On July 15 2011 21:37 masami.sc wrote: Not giving a shit about what others think of you. That's sociopathy. You have to at least care a little bit of what others think of you or you might accept lesser success in life and be satisfied with it. | ||
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JieXian
Malaysia4677 Posts
What about dates then ? | ||
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