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Tonight was one of the weirdest nights of my life. It is now 5:09 am, and i am meant to be at the post office by 09:00 but i somehow doubt that is likely to happen.
To give you some idea, i will relay here a few of the texts i sent my girlfriend in the last 4 hours while she was (and still is) asleep:
- 02:24 Club is closing already  i think we are going home now. Xxxxx
- 03:34 I might die tonight. I love you. I'm sorry that this text will scare you. Xxxxxxxx
- 03:43 I'm sorry I scared you. I'm on the [way] home now [in] the taxi. Xxxxxx
- 03:44 I just needed to tell you that i loved you just [in] case. Xxxxxx
The words in brackets are what i meant to write although it turns out, that on re-reading predictive text betrayed me yet again.
Now, what happened between 02:24 and 03:43 is what this blog is about. In short (TL:DR) form, i spent that time running away from someone who has, over the last 9 months, become one of my closest friends. Sad but true.
I have never claimed to be one of the bravest people in the world, but i do have rules that i set for myself which i ALWAYS follow. The rule that most commonly comes into play is that i will never let a girl walk home on her own if there is any way i can avoid it. This might sound unnecessarily sexist, but i decided to make that rule when my friend told me about what happened to a friend of his and i have stuck to it ever since. Another one of my rules is that if a friend is incapable of looking after themselves i will not let them down. Nothing is worse than hearing those stories of the guy who froze to death in a field one night when he was drunk. His friends assumed he would be fine and the next day he was found dead. I give this example because it happened on my university campus last year.
So, to tonight. The 9 of us who left this evening were still together at half past two when we left the club, which is already a plus, unfortunately, one of the group was overly drunk. His name is Liam, and he is the only reason that i have got along with the people in my block in halls at university. The way he has done this is the following: He gets on more or less with everyone in the block, he is friends with me, therefore everyone in the block respects that i am his friend and thus i am accepted into whichever group is current sat around chatting.
I cannot stress enough just how much harder my life at university so far would have been without him. Unfortunately, he has his own problems, namely, binge drinking and violent behaviour when under the influence of drugs/alcohol. As you can imagine, this isn't a healthy combination. Back to the present (or more correctly the recent-past): someone in the group ordered two taxis to take us back home to uni, which was a 15 minute taxi ride or a 2 hour walk, so we had to calm Liam down and persuade him to come with us to the Bus station where we would get the taxi. This was harder than it sounds, to the extent that we never managed it.
After 10 minutes of my (built like a man who lifts cars) friend Jean trying to relax him, which i suppose devolved into pure intimidation, in the hope that he could persuade Liam to calm down, half of the group had gone, and there was only 4 of us remaining: me, Jean, Lucy and Liam. At this point Liam decides it is time to take off. He simply runs away. Lucy was in heels and Jean has fallen back to letting Liam be self destructive if he wants to be, which left me. I couldn't let him go. A while back (just before Christmas) when he was in a similar state, i was with some friends and i was enjoying myself, and when Liam disappeared i just assumed he would be fine and thought no more about it. Until the next morning, when i found out he had been arrested for attempting to break into our own block, and starting a fight with a passer by, and had ended up in hospital having his stomach pumped. I had felt awful, i had broken one of my own rules, which had led to my friend almost ruining his life and being thrown out of university. Who knows what would have happened if the police hadn't happened to drive by and stop him from attacking the poor guy in the street.
So i ran after him, with no idea what i would do. A month ago i badly sprained my ankle while mountaineering, (although i actually only fell from about a metre and a half off the ground), and since i have been unable to run any decent distance without pain, so i had no idea how long i would be able to do this in my slightly intoxicated state. Luckily for me i didn't have to... yet. I quickly caught up with him, what with him being drunk, and me being if not for my ankle quite a strong runner, but he decided to turn on me after a short while of my trying to persuade him to come back to the bus stop so we could get a taxi home. To cut a long story short he ended up hitting me in the face twice, as well as pushing me around a lot, all the while i was asking him what was he doing and telling him that i wasn't going to leave him no matter how much he told me to or threatened me.
After learning what happened if i tried to physically confront him (and we shall see how these bruises look in the morning), i simply kept backing up, until i reached a distance where he decided to run to catch me. At this point apparently he was seeing red, and all he could think about was catching me. So hear i was, about five to three by now, literally running for my life while my friend was shouting death threats at me from down the street. Thankfully the adrenaline was killing any pain that i should have been getting in my ankle, and i was able to properly run for the first time in weeks, which was an amazing feeling, because i love to run, and i had been planning on running the Berlin marathon in September until i hurt it, which put a definitive stop to my training.
The only plan i had was that eventually he would get bored/tired/sober enough to realise what he was doing and stop, but it didn't seem to be happening. Each time i got too far ahead i would stop to check he was still following, and if he wasn't i would approach, and as soon as he noticed me i would have to run again. I sent that second text to Hannah while i was running. He was literally promising to kill me as soon as he caught me.
Eventually i got to a dead end, where i was forced to climb a fence into quite a large road, so that i could cross and maintain a safe distance. In doing so, he, in his drunken state lost track of where i was, so i crouched down behind some traffic fences on the other side of the road, and watched him to check that nothing bad happened to him, preparing to phone a taxi once he passed out. After a few minutes a police car drove up behind me, and i was startled by the voice of one of the officers asking me what exactly i was doing. I must have looked pretty damn suspicious hiding and spying from behind a traffic fence.
The last thing i wanted was for my friend to spend the night in a prison cell, so i tried to persuade them to leave us be and go away, but they wouldn't. He asked where my friend was, drove over which prompted Liam (who comes from a poor area where nobody trusts the police in the slightest), to get up and completely change his mood. Instantaneously he was the same old slightly drunk Liam the Conspirator, walking away from the car with an arm over my shoulder saying that we should just walk away and not say anything. The policemen simply turned the car around as i explained that i would order us a taxi home now, and made to leave, keeping to their word after i'd begged them not to arrest him. Just before they left i quickly stopped them to ask exactly where we were, as the running had taken us quite a long distance, and i was in part of the city that i had never been before, and the Policeman informed me, smiled, and then drove away.
I would like to thank those to policemen, for helping us on what was the scariest night of my life, when i spent the whole time fearing for myself, my friend, and everyone around us.
It is now 6:03, and i think i will probably do without sleep now, until the exhaustion from adrenaline knocks me out completely.
I learnt a lot about myself tonight, and i just wanted to share it with others so that i would never forget it.
Thanks for reading.
 
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you sure, are a true friend.
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Pretty crazy read. Glad you're both safe.
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sounds fucked up, and he really means something to you if you persuaded the police not to press charges after he nearly kills you.
i really hope you don't end up in a situation like that again. you should get him some help or something, violent binge drinkers are scary.
oh yeah and you're an amazing friend.
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Damn, talk about a night....
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Lol, I can really relate to this. One of my good friends that I met in High School was the main reason I wasn't a "loner", but gets stupid drunk and picks fights with people bigger than him (hes a 170 lb football player/wrestler), but is too drunk for it to be fair so I end up getting in the center of it stopping him and the other guy. Usually he'll chill out when I talk to him though and luckily has never ended up the way yours did.
But yea, I'd like to say most cops are total morons/douchebags/looking for a punk, but I'm not sure if "most" is a fair estimate, glad they helped.
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I wish everyone had true friends like you; I've always tried to keep to those principles you described as well, but luckily haven't had anything call for them aside from taking a puking friend to the bathroom or getting a drink of water or whatever. 
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damn... you shoukld have bought him some more alcohol to speed up the passing out...
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Thanks guys, it means a lot that you guys are saying positive things about what happened. When i finished writing that i realised that the reason i had to retype so many things was because my hands were shaking.
I have always believed in the goodness of people, and that when people do bad things it could easily be avoided by the help of another human being. If i didn't believe that then i would have given up on everything a long time ago. I am also very glad that there is a community that i feel a part of enough to share this story with.
Thanks again.
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United States4796 Posts
You're the biggest baller, hope you know that.
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You're pretty awesome. Most people aren't like that.
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What a stupid post. I will never understand why people drink. I'm sure there are millions of cases like this. But people still do it. Gota feel cool I guess.
And your friend threatens to kill you and you cover up for him. This idiot is going to get in this kind of situation again because he didn't learn any lesson, thanks to you.
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On May 28 2011 14:12 ilovejonn wrote:
you sure, are a true friend.
qft man, you are a massive bro
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Sound like a good buddy. :p
Glad everything turned out all right.
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You should probably confront ur friend about his drinking and his violent behavior. Just because he is big and built doesnt mean he should go rampaging around town. You certainly got lucky that he snapped out of it but next time you may not be.
Yes you are awesome for seeing through to your rules but u should definitely maintain ur own safety first. If you were a true friend you would sit down and chat with him about his problems. Good job though, who knows where he might have went if you were not there.
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Your friend sounds like a real piece of shit, honestly. At that point some people just need to learn their lesson.
He smashed you in the face a few times and chased you down, then acted as though nothing had happened when the police show up and you're okay with this? You owe him nothing, I'd rather be antisocial in my dorm.. also you describe your university a lot like a prison.
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Lol. That was quite a story. Thanks for sharing.
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A nice set of rules you live by, if everyone did that, I might appreciate the current society.
Still, humans and drinking...*sigh*
Edit: Just noticed
On May 28 2011 14:56 WormBeard wrote:
I will never understand why people drink. I'm sure there are millions of cases like this. But people still do it. Gota feel cool I guess.
Agreed
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On May 28 2011 15:10 Feijichang wrote:
Your friend sounds like a real piece of shit, honestly. At that point some people just need to learn their lesson.
He smashed you in the face a few times and chased you down, then acted as though nothing had happened when the police show up and you're okay with this? You owe him nothing, I'd rather be antisocial in my dorm.. also you describe your university a lot like a prison.
This 100percent. You have to realize that if he is always like this confront him about it. If he is a retard and just blames it on the alcohol leave him out of your life. You obviously do not want to go through that shit again and personally although you have done the right thing getting him home, you have to confront him about it.
Note: I know that this maybe isn't the best information as i don't know everything about your life but just make sure he knows where he stands now.
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Northern Ireland2557 Posts
Yeah I agree with the others. Your friend sounds like a cunt.
Are you just gonna hold his hand for the rest of his life? Eventually hes gonna get either of you killed by picking a fight with the wrong guy(s) or just gonna kill you in a drunken rage.
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Like other have said before me, you are a true baller (friend).
Good on ya. 
5 stars for being awesome.
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So why is this guy your friend again? I could understand a friend getting a bit too wild while drunk, but chasing you and threatening to kill you? At some point you gotta leave this guy alone and take responsibility for his own actions. Your rules could potentially ruin your own life.
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Don't delude yourself. You're not a hero and what you did was stupid.
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On May 28 2011 15:59 SirMilford wrote:Show nested quote +On May 28 2011 15:10 Feijichang wrote:
Your friend sounds like a real piece of shit, honestly. At that point some people just need to learn their lesson.
He smashed you in the face a few times and chased you down, then acted as though nothing had happened when the police show up and you're okay with this? You owe him nothing, I'd rather be antisocial in my dorm.. also you describe your university a lot like a prison. This 100percent. You have to realize that if he is always like this confront him about it. If he is a retard and just blames it on the alcohol leave him out of your life. You obviously do not want to go through that shit again and personally although you have done the right thing getting him home, you have to confront him about it. Note: I know that this maybe isn't the best information as i don't know everything about your life but just make sure he knows where he stands now.
What you say is true to some extent, but i am 100% that when he snapped out of it he couldn't remember what happened. As for the rest i will confront him, the last time that stuff happened to do with alcohol that i mentioned in the OP, he ended up seeing counselling for weeks and he got much better. He used to be really bad every week, and now this is the first time in 6 months. I am sure he is gonna have a lot to say when i see him today.
On May 28 2011 15:09 te3l wrote:
You should probably confront ur friend about his drinking and his violent behavior. Just because he is big and built doesnt mean he should go rampaging around town. You certainly got lucky that he snapped out of it but next time you may not be.
Yes you are awesome for seeing through to your rules but u should definitely maintain ur own safety first. If you were a true friend you would sit down and chat with him about his problems. Good job though, who knows where he might have went if you were not there.
Liam isn't even big, that is my friend Jean, although he is strong, he spends a huge amount of time at the gym. I am not even so sure that i couldn't beat him in a fight if i had to, i have spent a long time of my life doing self defence classes, but after he hit me twice i knew i couldn't bring myself to fight my friend, and that i couldn't just leave him, so i just lead him around. I honestly do not know what i should have done. I would never call the police on a friend if i could possibly avoid it, (and he wasn't a threat to anyone else), and i wasn't going to fight him when i would probably lose, so i did the only thing i thought i could do. Running is one of the things that i like to say i'm better than most people at, the other is Gaming, hence the location of this post.
On May 28 2011 17:20 underscore wrote:
Don't delude yourself. You're not a hero and what you did was stupid.
Never have, never will. Your post me smile though, i just woke up, and the different reactions i get from different reactions are always important to me. Can i ask what you think i should have done is?
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On May 28 2011 17:49 Surili wrote:Show nested quote +On May 28 2011 17:20 underscore wrote:
Don't delude yourself. You're not a hero and what you did was stupid. Never have, never will. Your post me smile though, i just woke up, and the different reactions i get from different reactions are always important to me. Can i ask what you think i should have done is?
At the very latest you should have backed off once he threatened you with physical violence.
Just let him run, it's not like he is gonna freeze to death in May. Even in Britain the weather can't be that shitty.
If it was a woman it would be a different story because she puts herself in danger whereas your friend who has shown this kind of behaviour before is a danger to the people around him.
You can't talk sense into people who are in such a mental state. If you want to help talk to him while both of you are sober.
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You're surely a very good friend. I don't even know if your friend actually deserves you.
While i seriously doubt he would've killed you, threatening and acting violent with your friends is absolutely wrong, no matter what a friend would do i wouldn't threat or act aggressive towards him (worst case i'd break the friendship). You need to talk to him about that, confront him when he's sober and hopefully you both will find a way for that behavior to stop. I hope he will see what a good friend he has (not many would do what you did).
But i also have to criticize you for texting your girlfriend with that text. What you did was really foolish and egoistic. You were not close to dieing and (if your gf was awake) you scared the shit out of her.
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I had a friend just like yours, but in the end my friend realized that he cant handle alcohol, so he stopped drinking. Your friend should consider it because one day it will catch up to him, and it doesn't require much for the shit to hit the fan. 1 fight with the wrong person and his life could be getting a lot worse.
One example from Stockholm a few nights ago at a fast food resturant a man asks another guy why he was cutting the line. The guy who obviously never learned how to cue became furious and gave the man 2 punches. He fell down and hit his head on a table and died later the next day.
(source to above: here It's in Swedish though)
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I would've let your friend go running, see ya control your drinking.
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Sounds like you're a pretty awesome friend.
Be careful though, sometimes it's better to let them do their own thing without you trying to stop them. As other people have said it only encourages him as he's got a 'safety net', if he repeatedly runs into situations where he fucks up when he's drunk, he'll learn through actions that he shouldn't be the huge dick he's being.
In a way, you're enabling him. In a way.
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Canada13389 Posts
Good for you for this one night keeping your friend safe, but if I was you I wouldnt be his friend for much longer with the exception of getting the guy some help for his problems.
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Wow. Maybe you should ask Liam to cut back a bit on the booze.
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A friend who punches you when he's drunk? I can understand wanting to remain friends even in bad times, but that's taking it too far, you should really tell him he needs to cut back on the booze or learn to not be an aggressive drunk.
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You, sir, are a true friend.
I respect you a lot after what you did for your friend, and I wish you could share with us his reaction after he is sober and hear what he has done to you.
Thanks for sharing :}
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I know what its like to have a set of rules to live by - and how hard it can be to uphold them..
Friends People like you are hard to come by to be sure.
<3 stay true
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fuck tha poleece!
in all honesty though, you sound like a great person who deserves better than what your friend has to offer. I know this is just a small excerpt of your relationship, but the things you describe are usually either end in lawsuits or deaths.
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Wow you sure are a great friend
However, like others have said, your friend doesnt deserve someone like you. Sounds like he knows he gets aggressive/violent when drunk yet he stills drinks enough to trigger it, then hides behind I was too drunk/i dont remember anything i did. Being arrested by the police almost sounds like it would be better for him, waking up behind the bars a few times would certainly teach him a lesson faster than being told in the morning that he punched and ran after you yet you still took care of him..
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EPT
