Alright, let me preface this by saying that for those of you who read my last blog, I was engaged. Well, as it turns out not so much anymore. I've returned to singleness. Since currently I'm not in college and I hate bars/clubs (not a drinker), I don't have a lot of opportunity to meet girls. I mean, hypothetically I could meet them at work, except I'm wearing my walmart suit. Ha. Anyways, in this blog I'm going to discuss what I've researched about online dating, and then ask you guys at teamliquid to tell me if I'm doing something wrong.
Anyways, since then I've tried the online dating thing, and actually done a lot of reading and research on how to make a good profile. I'd like to hear what you guys think of this advice, because honestly, I think a lot of it is bullshit. Some of it is good, sure, but after reading one girls blog about her own online dating adventure, I quickly realized that a lot of these "tips" are so widespread that girls recognize them from a mile away. I'll start with the bad ones.
The BAD
1) The neg. Pick something out about a girl in her profile and make fun of her playfully. Use smiley faces so you know you're just fooling around.
Ugh. This was some of the worst advice ever. It certainly got me responses from girls, but mostly hostile ones. The internet is not the easiest place to convey that you're joking, and smiley faces aren't obvious enough, apparently. Even worse than if she takes it as hostility, is when she realizes what you're doing. So many guys have read e-books out there about negging, that chances are, that hot chick you just messaged is like, "oh great, another guy who thinks he's a player. closed." I'd imagine the neg is a lot more effective in real life where you can come off as more genuine. Seriously, I tease my female friends all the time. It's good fun. But I've found this particular tool a little too difficult to use online.
2) Post a pic of yourself with a girl. Well, this advice should have girl in the plural. Apparently, having a picture of yourself with a single girl automatically says "this is me and my ex-girlfriend". Not so great.
3) DHV. Also known as devaluing her value. Basically, when you send a message to a girl online and say, "Hi, you seem like you might be really cool. Message me back if you think you could be cool enough to hang out with me." Again, this might have worked 5 years ago, but this pickup routine has been used so much that most girls have heard it before. It doesn't work anymore.
The good.
1) Post pictures of yourself with a guitar. For some reason, it's like magic. Chicks dig guitars. I've noticed a great increase in people looking at my profile since I did this.
2) Kennigit's awesome advice. "If you can't bother to read, see ya." That was amazing.
3) I think this is good advice, but I'm not really sure. Disqualifiers. Lots of disqualifiers. Basically saying, don't message me if you do x. The thing is, you aren't losing anything if your disqualifiers are actually accurate. If you wouldn't date a smoker, saying that you wouldn't date one automatically excludes females you don't want to date, but also portrays that you are selective about who you talk to and not desperate.
All that being said, I haven't had a lot of success with online dating. I occasionally talk to people, but usually girls who I find really attractive don't reply. Perhaps my messaging formula sucks. So I was wondering what teamliquid thinks.
When I message a girl, I typically try to stick to several rules. First, I'll send a subject that looks interesting. "I have an intuition about you." "You have fantastic taste in...." "Why do you like xyz?" The intuition thing because people are always interested in what insights you have about them, so they'd want to know what you think. The second one seems good because you're starting a statement, but they have to open the message to find out what it says. And the final one is good because most people have an innate desire to answer a question when someone asks them something.
My second rule is that I pick something out in their profile that we have in common, and then ask them a question about it. Like if the person is a particular fan of Joss Whedon, I'll ask them who their favorite character is. Perhaps this is not the way to go, but I've read everywhere I go that it's important to show them that you've read your profile.
The final rule is of course that I'll always ask them a question, so they can follow up and reply. My questions are usually superficial, though, like their favorite character or something like that. I wonder if I could come up with something better.
I know just what to put here, I'm fucking fantastic at filling out self summaries, and I'm the complete opposite of laid back and down to Earth.
I have a sarcastic and sometimes dark sense of humor. So dark that I think many horror movies are funny. I'm cynical, but I try to be optimistic. I love movies, especially ones that involve thinking. I've taken film classes before and enjoyed them.
I read a lot, play video games, and appreciate the beauty of nature. An interesting novel or even a random forum debate is enjoyable time spent. Watching sports, not so much. I'm calm in a crisis, maybe a little too calm considering the world is about to end. What I’m doing with my life I'm a college student who is working on the side. I'm majoring in English and Philosophy, with the goal being Law or Psychology. I’m really good at Problem solving! The first things people usually notice about me I’m an empty essay... fill me out! Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food Books: Mystery, philosophical. Like Mysteries of Udolpho, Flatland, Memoirs of a Geisha.
Movies: Horror, intelligent comedy, the occasional romantic film as long as it's not formulaic. Examples: Wristcutters, Pan's Labyrinth, Pulp Fiction, Stay.
TV: Anything from Joss Whedon or Show Time. Scrubs, Lie to Me, House.
Music: Techno, Rock, as long as it isn't rap or country, we're good. Paramore, Flyleaf, Ronald Jenkees are some of my favorites. The six things I could never do without A lot of times you can just skip to this section to get a good measure of how interesting someone is. Just scroll down past the wall of text and check to see if the person lists food, water, and shelter. Wow, you know how to not die. That's hot! Since I prefer my women not dead, would you like to go get some coffee?
So here's my list: A pen, steak, semicolons, a car, Anyanka, google I spend a lot of time thinking about Personality test questions that are funny. Do people find you frustrating to talk to? Hang on a second, Dave, how's talking behind my back going? Are you defensive? Absolutely not!
Wondering why it's so difficult for people to use a blinker when driving. On a typical Friday night I am I’m an empty essay... fill me out! The most private thing I’m willing to admit My cat frequently tries to press the power button on my computer. She may be evil. I’m looking for
Girls who like guys Ages 18-26 Near me For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if There are two types of people who use online dating sites: people who are probably serial killers and people who are definitely serial killers. Message me if you're the former.
you are thinking too much about your profile and not really about yourself. Hit the gym, go to some place with a lot of chicks and get numbers. Profiles don't really matter that much getting more chicks talking in your profile is more effective. I really don´t use my profile that much for picking up chicks but I have a friend that does and its all about that. Its about selling yourself as a great pick and being that wow he has all the girls attention kind of guy. If you are a loser in real life then no profile will really help.
TLDR? Honestly I did read most of it except your profile cause thats hellaciously fucking long. Online dating doesn't mean you'll get chicks faster, it just means you have a wider scope of people that you normally wouldn't interact with. Just play it cool and you may get lucky and meet someone ^^.
I would rather spend some time in the gym, and go clubbing with a couple people you know... Seriously, drink a few shots and just go have fun. Girls come naturally.
Your profile scared me off... and im not even a girl.
Man, you say yourself that humour and sarcasm is hard to pull off online even with emoicons yet your whole profile is littered with sarcastic wit. Sure, some people might clock and find it funny but those people are not on dating sites...
I felt you came off as condesending and as if you think your above alot of people in your profile.
I enjoy having fun. Wow, I bet you've never heard that before. I wonder why people put things like that in their profiles. You can't have fun and not enjoy it. Do you enjoy breathing, too? I just can't get through my day without breathing. It's so amazing.
That part had me cringing, i get what you was trying to do but you have to remember who your target audience is
Anyways, back to me: I like trying new things, experiencing different situations, and getting to know people. My job allows me to meet a variety of interesting people every day. I value honesty, because being deceptive often shows a lack of integrity. I can keep a secret, but I will let you know my opinion. I am outspoken on things that matter to me.
You talk about honesty but the way you mention your job makes it seem like your some highroller. If your not ashamed to work at wallmart, state that you do in your profile. That way you weed out the snobby girls and then the girls that do contact you wont care that you work at walmart. You dont want to find a "perfect" girl and then that ruins it for you. (If it sounds like im being harsh taht you work there, tbh im from England and working in a walmart equivalent is nothing bad but reading how usa posters react on forums... i assume over there theres some kinda stigma attached to it.
Movies: Horror movies, serial killer movies, cerebral mind bending psychological or dramatic.
Horror movies? Fine Serial killer movies? err.... Cerebral mind bending psychological movies? Are you going to fuck with my mind then kill me? Bad choice of genres man.
how about:
Movies: Horror, intelligent comedy, the occasional romantic film as long as its not too cheesy Might not be true but like I said, i highly doubt youll find a girl whos into slashers and mindfuck films
Here's the things I can't live without: Computer with an internet connnection. Bottled water for my amazing health. My music which gives me the motivation to do things in life. Good friends that can make you smile!
That about sums me up. Only need four things to survive! I'm so much better than everyone else.
The first thing on your list has got to go. Your shooting down so many potential girls with just that line. Being taht dependant on technology (albeit most of us TLers are) aint something you want to tell potential gfs, atleast not before meeting them
As for the last line, i can easily see the sarcasm... but many people will not because its hard to judge by your profiles wording whether your light hearted or take things semi/seriously.
On a more serious note, how to tell when people are lying, and the nature of the world. And wondering why it's so difficult for people to use a blinker when they're changing lanes.
That line just confused me... first you start off all Socrates on us then you turn into a DMV (yes i had to look up the US equiv of DVLA ) worker. It seems random... and kinda stupid. Either reword it so its all "clever" or all stupid or remove it... atm its not helping
1) You live with your parents. 2)You're extremely religious. Emphasis on extremely. We won't get along. Unless you somehow by some miracle manage to convert me and save me from the depths of hell, which is oh so likely. 3) You actually wrote I don't know what to write in this section. Ugh. Why didn't you just leave it blank, then, genius? 4) You think movies in general are boring. 5) You are insane. I know, it probably shouldn't have to be said.
1. Fair enough 2. Your bashing religion abit too much there man, your scaring off anyoen who is even remotely religous cos they will be thinking... ahh this atheist is above me... i shall go somewere else. Chill outt, and the sarcasm kinda makes u sound like a dick 3. Maybe some girls dont want to write on their profile so they dont get messages. that way they choose without gettng bothered, ever think of it like that? 4. meh 5. Im not sure what to think og that :/
Think of them as guidelines... or message me if you dare.
Something about the first part that does not bode with me at all... its like your ordering them and not in a playful manner that you show in the second part. id say reword that so it appears softer like...
Thats just a rough idea of what Im looking for... but i am open minded... message me if you dare
thats all from me atm man... so tired XD i hope u dont think i came off as a dick but thats just how i saw your profile
Nah, Lyzon, that's exactly the sort of criticism I was looking for. Maybe I overdid it with the wit and sarcasm, but well, I've always heard it's better to SHOW someone that you're witty and sarcastic then to say it. You make a lot of good points, though. I think I do come off as too much of a dick at some points.
Kyser, I already stole material from day9. I watched that a while ago, hehe.
Those two articles are soooo awesome. I actually don't consider online dating a good idea but the fact of my own situation, having a girlfriend whom I originally met on OKcupid, kinda shuts me up.
Those two articles are soooo awesome. I actually don't consider online dating a good idea but the fact of my own situation, having a girlfriend whom I originally met on OKcupid, kinda shuts me up.
The first blog wasn't that surprising. The second one was a shocker, though. I'm sitting here thinking "wtf?" It contradicts every single thing that I've read.
Don't smile, show off your abs (if you've got them), and apparently it doesn't even matter if your face in the picture. I'm so confused.
It'll never be an exact science, obviously. I did some goofy stuff in my own profile like include a youtube video of a dog befuddled at the sight of a cat on a computer screen in a youtube video while the same cat hangs out behind him IRL, I looked at the camera, I played to my strengths in being a huuuuuge nerd/dork, and I still got messaged back more than half the time despite not being a particularly attractive dude. IMO the key to my success was just being really nice and really smart(Ego, gosh!) and generally just being myself. If you come off as mean or desperate or anything like that of course you won't get messaged back, as much as following "the rules" might help.
Your profile is overthought and it's obvious. Lines like: "I'm good at writing in complete sentences, thinking logically, and noticing irony. Here's some irony:
The majority of attractive females on this site are looking for someone that is intelligent, yet as far as I can tell, the majority of people on the internet are about as intelligent as my toaster."
Wow that's bad, and is that really irony? Really?! You're just demonstrating a lack of wit imho.
TLDR: Tone your profile WAY DOWN. You sound like a chick... and it's not the least bit flattering. -Ever notice how sometimes saying less can be saying more? >_> <_<
On March 21 2011 13:27 ChoboCop wrote: Your profile is overthought and it's obvious. Lines like: "I'm good at writing in complete sentences, thinking logically, and noticing irony. Here's some irony:
The majority of attractive females on this site are looking for someone that is intelligent, yet as far as I can tell, the majority of people on the internet are about as intelligent as my toaster."
Wow that's bad, and is that really irony? Really?! You're just demonstrating a lack of wit imho.
TLDR: Tone your profile WAY DOWN. You sound like a chick... and it's not the least bit flattering. -Ever notice how sometimes saying less can be saying more? >_> <_<
Yea, I get it. Already toned it down quite a bit. It actually is irony, though. You wouldn't expect the majority of attractive females to be looking for someone intelligent, since most of them are stupid due to the nature of the internet. Basically it's me trying to make fun of how generic the female profile is, always looking for an intelligent guy. But admittedly, I failed.
Teamliquid is harsh, heh. I've had other friends tell me they laughed when they read my profile. But I guess to the average person I didn't come off the right way.
I dont know what to say, but you are completely occupied with thinking about your profile and online dating. Get outside ! Meet people ! Have fun !
If u try to find a girl desperately, things can get much worse as they actually are - in the end u might hate yourself, because u didnt succeed ( i mean at finding a girl ).
Dont force yourself and your luck - keep yourself occupied with your life and likes. I think the rest is pure Kharma :D
On March 21 2011 13:49 insta wrote: I dont know what to say, but you are completely occupied with thinking about your profile and online dating. Get outside ! Meet people ! Have fun !
If u try to find a girl desperately, things can get much worse as they actually are - in the end u might hate yourself, because u didnt succeed ( i mean at finding a girl ).
Dont force yourself and your luck - keep yourself occupied with your life and likes. I think the rest is pure Kharma :D
gl bra =)
I don't think it's desperate to try and make online dating work. Anyways, it's not as if I'll never go out and meet people. I just prefer to do it on the college scene instead of in my hometown. Which I'll be returning to in a few months. In the meantime, I figured I'd give online dating a try. And hey, if teamliquid can help get my profile up to an attractive level, all the better for me. If not, there's always Starcraft.
My impression is that by overdescribing yourself, you make yourself sound awfully feminine, more like a myspace chick than a serious candidate for a date.
Perhaps something more straightforward and reassuring?
On March 21 2011 14:30 MoltkeWarding wrote: My impression is that by overdescribing yourself, you make yourself sound awfully feminine, more like a myspace chick than a serious candidate for a date.
Perhaps something more straightforward and reassuring?
Thanks for the advice, MoltkeWarding. I'm working on shortening my profile quite a bit now. My problem I guess is that I looked at female profiles to see what sorts of things they said, and I sort of based my profile on that template. I know it sounds dumb, obviously if I was going to base it on anyone's I should've used a guys, but it's sort of impossible to know which ones are good since I don't have a feminine perspective.
On March 21 2011 14:40 shinosai wrote: it's sort of impossible to know which ones are good since I don't have a feminine perspective.
use your imagination dude if i'm a girl i'm going to be like: okay unnecessarily aggressive first sentence, dorky sense of humor in 2nd paragraph.. whats this thing about going out with people that aren't dead o.O rest of it seems OK though
You're trying too hard. Just try typing how you would speak in real life. This way you aren't turning off people who can instantly see that you have meticulously spent loads of time on your profile. Also, it will give them a better sense of who you are as a person, which will hopefully result in more concrete connections
I particularly liked the part where you specifically say you won't talk to anyone who lives at home, and then you mention how you're studying Philosophy/English and want to continue on to study law or psychology. I wonder if you'll be singing a different tune when your lib arts degree doesnt get you a job and then you take on $120k in debt to go to a crappy law school and be in the same situation again + hopless debt
ok so perhaps you are not ready for the powers that come with this tool, but i was reading a thread on fohguild ss and basically some guys were raiding dating sites with varied success. the opening line they were using was
'After a vigorous perusal of your profile, I wanted to let you know I've already married and divorced you in my mind. Thanks for all the wonderful imaginary memories, you will always have a special place in my heart.
Sincerely, shinosai
PS: I am going to need half of your money according to our pre-nup.'
On March 21 2011 23:14 Hawk wrote: wow your profile makes you sound like a winner!!
I particularly liked the part where you specifically say you won't talk to anyone who lives at home, and then you mention how you're studying Philosophy/English and want to continue on to study law or psychology. I wonder if you'll be singing a different tune when your lib arts degree doesnt get you a job and then you take on $120k in debt to go to a crappy law school and be in the same situation again + hopless debt
try being a little less swarmy
Well, given the new law coming to pass that won't allow student loans to exceed 10% of your income per month, I think I'll still be able to afford an apartment even with $120k in debt! Thanks for your concern, though.
A lot of girls have the exact same preference, and it doesn't seem unreasonable to me. If you still live with your parents you are not very independent, although if it's only temporary (I might live with mine for a few months while transitioning between apartments), that's different.
Anyways, Teamliquid, I followed your advice and I messaged two pretty girls last night. One of them messaged me back! Your advice was pretty solid, as usual.
except most people who say that are actually well off or on the way to being so (not that it's any less douchy or logically flawed that living at home = a lack of a maturity). Meanwhile, you're an undergrad in a joke liberal arts major, with intentions becoming either a social worker or a broke ass, unemployed lawyer
nothing screams maturity like writing a douchy profile in a shitty apartment that's balancing upon a mountain of debt! wooooo!!!
On March 22 2011 01:20 Hawk wrote: except most people who say that are actually well off or on the way to being so (not that it's any less douchy or logically flawed that living at home = a lack of a maturity). Meanwhile, you're an undergrad in a joke liberal arts major, with intentions becoming either a social worker or a broke ass, unemployed lawyer
nothing screams maturity like writing a douchy profile in a shitty apartment that's balancing upon a mountain of debt! wooooo!!!
I have zero debt, and a pretty nice apartment. I am financially responsible and pay all my bills on time. Now, I'm also glad that you predicted failure for me with your future predicting skills, it's always good to know that anyone with the intentions of going to law school is going to be broke. I mean, damn, I'm going to stop messaging girls that are majoring in English or philosophy. They have a joke major and aren't going anywhere. Thanks for letting me know what I really need to disqualify in my profile.
I really hate the living with your parents social stigma. If you don't have a valid reason to move out, don't do it unless you have enough in your savings to live several months without a job. I would be much happier dating someone that has minimal debt and living with their parent -- then someone with massive student loans debt and living alone.
On March 22 2011 01:20 Hawk wrote: except most people who say that are actually well off or on the way to being so (not that it's any less douchy or logically flawed that living at home = a lack of a maturity). Meanwhile, you're an undergrad in a joke liberal arts major, with intentions becoming either a social worker or a broke ass, unemployed lawyer
nothing screams maturity like writing a douchy profile in a shitty apartment that's balancing upon a mountain of debt! wooooo!!!
I have zero debt, and a pretty nice apartment. I am financially responsible and pay all my bills on time. Now, I'm also glad that you predicted failure for me with your future predicting skills, it's always good to know that anyone with the intentions of going to law school is going to be broke. I mean, damn, I'm going to stop messaging girls that are majoring in English or philosophy. They have a joke major and aren't going anywhere. Thanks for letting me know what I really need to disqualify in my profile.
'what about my online dating profile prevents me from getting girls'
you come off as a complete tool with an overinflated sense of importance
'FUCK YOU ASSHOLE YOU DONT KNOW ME'
also lol
On March 21 2011 13:34 shinosai wrote:
Teamliquid is harsh, heh. I've had other friends tell me they laughed when they read my profile. But I guess to the average person I didn't come off the right way.
I need to start rethinking what average is if English/philosphy and a job at walmart is something other than a run of the mill student
On March 22 2011 01:20 Hawk wrote: except most people who say that are actually well off or on the way to being so (not that it's any less douchy or logically flawed that living at home = a lack of a maturity). Meanwhile, you're an undergrad in a joke liberal arts major, with intentions becoming either a social worker or a broke ass, unemployed lawyer
nothing screams maturity like writing a douchy profile in a shitty apartment that's balancing upon a mountain of debt! wooooo!!!
I have zero debt, and a pretty nice apartment. I am financially responsible and pay all my bills on time. Now, I'm also glad that you predicted failure for me with your future predicting skills, it's always good to know that anyone with the intentions of going to law school is going to be broke. I mean, damn, I'm going to stop messaging girls that are majoring in English or philosophy. They have a joke major and aren't going anywhere. Thanks for letting me know what I really need to disqualify in my profile.
What's wrong with living at home? Unless you can really afford to live away from home / have to, what's the point? Or, unless you have some shitty home situation that doesn't give you any freedom... making a blanket statement asserting that if a person is in their 20's and live at home there's something wrong makes you sound like an asshole. I live at home because it's cheap. Why would I pay $500-$1,500 for rent (which would be a large portion of my income) when I can pay $0 and save the money or use it on other important stuff.
No girl when looking at someone's profile wants to read an essay. You sound like you're filled with an aura of self importance.
I re-wrote your profile with an emphasis on clarity and honesty. Now, go catch those fish!
Should any potential reader, upon witnessing the breadth and scope of this profile, through a lack of interest or by absence of motivation, fail to devote a reasonable period of time in an attempt to fully review its contents, said reader may forfeit any expectation of interest on behalf of the profile’s creator unless the reader proves him or herself to be of above average physical attractiveness, intelligence, creativity or an acceptable ratio of all aforementioned qualities as deemed by the creator with significant weight and consideration given to attractiveness with regard to provided photographic documentation.
"There's nothing worse than being ordinary, except a kitten falling into a well and drowning just out of your reach."
I try hard to appear nice, and I’m totally not sarcastic at all! I will not let you forget this.
I enjoy having fun. Wow, I bet you've never heard that before. What an odd thing to say. You can't have fun and not enjoy it. Do you enjoy masturbating, too? I just can't get through my day without masturbating. It's so amazing.
I spend a lot of time on internet forums. Watching sports or going to a bar, not so much. I try to live a healthy lifestyle, which includes exercising and eating food branded “real food”. I know it’s not a popular opinion, but I think music is awesome!
What I’m doing with my life I am still in college, getting a degree in Philosophy or English or something. After that, the plan is to get a degree in Law or psychology or something. The future is a long ways off and I haven’t really fleshed it out much yet, and that’s just, like, my opinion, man.
I’m really good at I'm good at philosophizing, writing, being sarcastic, and noticing irony. Can you imagine having 2000 spoons, when all you need is a knife? I can.
I'm good at video games. I guess that makes me a bit of a nerd, and I'm okay with that. I understand things like “xbox” might seem out of place on a college campus, but I’m not ashamed of who I am.
The first things people usually notice about me That I'm sarcastic and smart, because I wear T-shirts with sayings that would indicate this so that people notice it before they notice things like my face, fashion sense or hygiene.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food Books: Mystery, philosophical Things like Dan Brown finding the Da Vinci Code or solving mysteries.
Movies: Horror, intelligent comedy, the occasional romantic film as long as its not too cheesy. Examples: Scary Movie 4, Fast and Furious, Pulp Fiction. Maid in Manhattan, Boondock Saints. Fiddler on the Roof.
"There's too much beauty to quit." – P. Diddy, Ma$e and Black Rob
TV: Joss Whedon, Show Time. That takes care of most of them. Scrubs, Lie to Me. I don’t watch much TV because that seems like something intellectually actualized people wouldn’t do.
Music: Techno, Rock, as long as it isn't rap we're good. All that crazy fast talking with rhymes makes me nervous, like a crime might break out.
The six things I could never do without A lot of times you can just skip to this section without even reading a profile to get a good measure of how interesting someone is. Just scroll down past the wall of text and check to see if the person lists food, water, and shelter. Wow, you know how to not die. That's HOT! Since I actually enjoy going out on dates with people that aren't dead, would you like to go get some coffee? Oh, what, was this paragraph too snarky and confrontational for you? Big whoop, who cares? Not me. (Did you get it? That was my sense of humor).
Here's the things I can't live without: Computer with an internet connection. I will get rid of you or anyone else who gets between me and the internet. Bottled water for my amazing health, because regular water is for fat people. Also, I’m staunchly “pro-litter,” but if you are hot and against littering I can change that. My music which gives me the motivation to do things in life (except become a professional musician, don’t worry). Good company. I would loosely define this as “people I know on the internet and a few old RL friends.”
That about sums me up. Only need four things to survive! I'm so much better than everyone else, make sure you remember that.
I spend a lot of time thinking about The silliness of some match making questions. Seriously, they're funny if you think about them. Like airline peanuts. Who are they trying to keep out of those things? I have lots of funny things to say.
On a more serious note, how to tell when people are lying, and the nature of the world. Also, I like to think about how great it would be to cure all major diseases, and that I would love to end suffering. I can be a serious person, and enjoy things like poetry and commitment. Global warming and cooling are big on my mind.
Less serious... Wondering why it's so difficult for people to use a blinker when they're changing lanes, how Scientology manages to still have followers, and about how Tim Roth is an amazing actor. Do you like any or all of those things? Did you ever notice how much they play Saving Private Ryan on TNT? Isn’t that wacky? Also, don’t you love cat videos on youtube and writing about your feelings? It feels good to cut loose.
On a typical Friday night I am Friday night, I am at home chilling out. It is the end of the week and it's my relaxation time. Plus I have to work tomorrow, get off my case, I don’t have to prove anything to you.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit I am happy with the way my past relationships have turned out. Everything is a learning experience and each person has taught me new things about myself. My greatest weakness? Sometimes I think I’m a little too loveable, and sometimes I just care too much.
I’m looking for
Girls who like guys or will settle for a guy Ages 18-26 Near me For: new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, one awkward date, splitting a bill at applebees
You should message me if
1) You believe in equality for everyone but aren’t going to ask me to do much in the way of protesting or making an actual difference. 2) You are awesome, like Chuck Norris jokes and Dane Cook. 3) You are witty and sarcastic. Nothing better! (just kidding, there are plenty of things better, like the things labeled 1 and 2) 4)You want to make a new friend with whom you may one day find yourself drunk or desperate enough to fool around with. 5) You'd rather read a book than go to a football game, because I hate populist things and love intellectual pursuits.
You should probably not message me if:
1) You live with your parents. Sorry, college students who live at home. That’s gross. 2) You didn't read. I’ll know, because I’m going to passive-aggressively quiz you if you message me. 3) You think movies in general are boring, even though generally most movies are boring. 4) You are insane. I know, it probably shouldn't have to be said, but I figure this works kind of like how if you ask a cop if he’s a cop, he has to tell you, right?
That’s just a rough idea of what I'm looking for... but I am open minded... message me if you dare!
Should any potential reader, upon witnessing the breadth and scope of this profile, through a lack of interest or by absence of motivation, fail to devote a reasonable period of time in an attempt to fully review its contents, said reader may forfeit any expectation of interest on behalf of the profile’s creator unless the reader proves him or herself to be of above average physical attractiveness, intelligence, creativity or an acceptable ratio of all aforementioned qualities as deemed by the creator with significant weight and consideration given to attractiveness with regard to provided photographic documentation.
"There's nothing worse than being ordinary, except a kitten falling into a well and drowning just out of your reach."
I try hard to appear nice, and I’m totally not sarcastic at all! I will not let you forget this.
I enjoy having fun. Wow, I bet you've never heard that before. What an odd thing to say. You can't have fun and not enjoy it. Do you enjoy masturbating, too? I just can't get through my day without masturbating. It's so amazing.
I spend a lot of time on internet forums. Watching sports or going to a bar, not so much. I try to live a healthy lifestyle, which includes exercising and eating food branded “real food”. I know it’s not a popular opinion, but I think music is awesome!
What I’m doing with my life I am still in college, getting a degree in Philosophy or English or something. After that, the plan is to get a degree in Law or psychology or something. The future is a long ways off and I haven’t really fleshed it out much yet, and that’s just, like, my opinion, man.
I’m really good at I'm good at philosophizing, writing, being sarcastic, and noticing irony. Can you imagine having 2000 spoons, when all you need is a knife? I can.
I'm good at video games. I guess that makes me a bit of a nerd, and I'm okay with that. I understand things like “xbox” might seem out of place on a college campus, but I’m not ashamed of who I am.
The first things people usually notice about me That I'm sarcastic and smart, because I wear T-shirts with sayings that would indicate this so that people notice it before they notice things like my face, fashion sense or hygiene.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food Books: Mystery, philosophical Things like Dan Brown finding the Da Vinci Code or solving mysteries.
Movies: Horror, intelligent comedy, the occasional romantic film as long as its not too cheesy. Examples: Scary Movie 4, Fast and Furious, Pulp Fiction. Maid in Manhattan, Boondock Saints. Fiddler on the Roof.
"There's too much beauty to quit." – P. Diddy, Ma$e and Black Rob
TV: Joss Whedon, Show Time. That takes care of most of them. Scrubs, Lie to Me. I don’t watch much TV because that seems like something intellectually actualized people wouldn’t do.
Music: Techno, Rock, as long as it isn't rap we're good. All that crazy fast talking with rhymes makes me nervous, like a crime might break out.
The six things I could never do without A lot of times you can just skip to this section without even reading a profile to get a good measure of how interesting someone is. Just scroll down past the wall of text and check to see if the person lists food, water, and shelter. Wow, you know how to not die. That's HOT! Since I actually enjoy going out on dates with people that aren't dead, would you like to go get some coffee? Oh, what, was this paragraph too snarky and confrontational for you? Big whoop, who cares? Not me. (Did you get it? That was my sense of humor).
Here's the things I can't live without: Computer with an internet connection. I will get rid of you or anyone else who gets between me and the internet. Bottled water for my amazing health, because regular water is for fat people. Also, I’m staunchly “pro-litter,” but if you are hot and against littering I can change that. My music which gives me the motivation to do things in life (except become a professional musician, don’t worry). Good company. I would loosely define this as “people I know on the internet and a few old RL friends.”
That about sums me up. Only need four things to survive! I'm so much better than everyone else, make sure you remember that.
I spend a lot of time thinking about The silliness of some match making questions. Seriously, they're funny if you think about them. Like airline peanuts. Who are they trying to keep out of those things? I have lots of funny things to say.
On a more serious note, how to tell when people are lying, and the nature of the world. Also, I like to think about how great it would be to cure all major diseases, and that I would love to end suffering. I can be a serious person, and enjoy things like poetry and commitment. Global warming and cooling are big on my mind.
Less serious... Wondering why it's so difficult for people to use a blinker when they're changing lanes, how Scientology manages to still have followers, and about how Tim Roth is an amazing actor. Do you like any or all of those things? Did you ever notice how much they play Saving Private Ryan on TNT? Isn’t that wacky? Also, don’t you love cat videos on youtube and writing about your feelings? It feels good to cut loose.
On a typical Friday night I am Friday night, I am at home chilling out. It is the end of the week and it's my relaxation time. Plus I have to work tomorrow, get off my case, I don’t have to prove anything to you.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit I am happy with the way my past relationships have turned out. Everything is a learning experience and each person has taught me new things about myself. My greatest weakness? Sometimes I think I’m a little too loveable, and sometimes I just care too much.
I’m looking for
Girls who like guys or will settle for a guy Ages 18-26 Near me For: new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, one awkward date, splitting a bill at applebees
You should message me if
1) You believe in equality for everyone but aren’t going to ask me to do much in the way of protesting or making an actual difference. 2) You are awesome, like Chuck Norris jokes and Dane Cook. 3) You are witty and sarcastic. Nothing better! (just kidding, there are plenty of things better, like the things labeled 1 and 2) 4)You want to make a new friend with whom you may one day find yourself drunk or desperate enough to fool around with. 5) You'd rather read a book than go to a football game, because I hate populist things and love intellectual pursuits.
You should probably not message me if:
1) You live with your parents. Sorry, college students who live at home. That’s gross. 2) You didn't read. I’ll know, because I’m going to passive-aggressively quiz you if you message me. 3) You think movies in general are boring, even though generally most movies are boring. 4) You are insane. I know, it probably shouldn't have to be said, but I figure this works kind of like how if you ask a cop if he’s a cop, he has to tell you, right?
That’s just a rough idea of what I'm looking for... but I am open minded... message me if you dare!
The silliness of some match making questions. Seriously, they're funny if you think about them. Like airline peanuts. Who are they trying to keep out of those things? I have lots of funny things to say.
Honestly, I'm no expert on dating, but I will say this - Go out and have a good time. Don't go with the expectations of meeting women, just go out and meet some people.
Talk to people and make friends. The more friends you have, the more likely you are to meet someone who will become enamored with you. Don't force it, just let it happen naturally.
But then again, I'm single so I don't know if my opinion really counts x.x
I've rethought the parents thing. I guess what I was really trying to get at is I wasn't interested in someone living with their parents and not going anywhere in life. Like my cousin, literally living in his parents basement and getting married with no job or college degree. I guess living with your parents isn't a big deal, as long as you have some sort of ambition.
Your profile description is absolutely amazing. I think I'm going to translate it to German, adapt it a little and use it myself!
edit: To clarify: I'm not judging your personality in any way, it just reads very well, like it's going to have an encouraging effect on women.
Not sure if you're serious, but if you are, thanks. If not, well, .
Anyways, after I toned my profile down, I actually got several responses. Again, thanks Teamliquid! Things I didn't do were remove the sarcasm or some of the disqualifiers. Yes, it can make me sound like a dick, but it's part of my personality. I think if you're too afraid to offend anyone you'll just come off as boring. Because no one gets along with everyone. But at the same time I realized that my original profile made me seem excessively like a dick. So I toned it down, but not completely, so I still have some of my true personality in it.
Usually tl.net is fairly good at the business of criticism, but in this instance, everyone has read shinosai wrong.
The genius of shinosai's profile is that its tone functions as an automatic mechanism for filtering out bad mates- mates who are overbearingly cynical, sarcastic, critical, or prefer to kick a man when he's down.
For the only sort of woman who would ever entertain a response to his profile is that superior being who freely and willingly offers a sympathetic ear to the awkward, a loving shoulder to the desperate, and an outstreched hand to the grasping.
The fact that it failed the tl.net test of merit is the proof that it will pass the test of life.
Not to be despondent, even I initially failed to see the design in the chaos.
On March 22 2011 12:13 MoltkeWarding wrote: Usually tl.net is fairly good at the business of criticism, but in this instance, everyone has read shinosai wrong.
The genius of shinosai's profile is that its tone functions as an automatic mechanism for filtering out bad mates- mates who are overbearingly cynical, sarcastic, critical, or prefer to kick a man when he's down.
For the only sort of woman who would ever entertain a response to his profile is that superior being who freely and willingly offers a sympathetic ear to the awkward, a loving shoulder to the desperate, and an outstreched hand to the grasping.
The fact that it failed the tl.net test of merit is the proof that it will pass the test of life.
Not to be despondent, even I initially failed to see the design in the chaos.
Aw, come on, I've tried to take everyone's criticism into consideration. I think you guys had some great points.
I think that your profile is probably trying a bit too hard. But whatever, what's important is how you act when you actually meet the girls. How's that going so far?
Aw, come on, I've tried to take everyone's criticism into consideration. I think you guys had some great points.
Their points were sound, but not ambitious.
My point was:
Follow tl.net's advice and you will have a good probability of finding a poor partner. Follow your own limitations and you will have a poor probability of finding a good partner.
As far as making even polite courtship is to engage in a ritual of mutual deception, I only think it honest that the deception should be authentically your own.
On March 22 2011 12:36 ziggurat wrote: I think that your profile is probably trying a bit too hard. But whatever, what's important is how you act when you actually meet the girls. How's that going so far?
I don't have a problem for the most part, unless there's no chemistry or she's just plain boring. For example, I went out to eat with my coworker who is a friend. She's really quite pretty, but I almost immediately realized there was no romantic future for us because she wasn't really engaged in the conversation. And we had little in common.
When I meet someone that I genuinely have something in common with, it's just cruise control. I'm really good at the teasing / flirting once we're comfortable, and eventually subtle sexual comments that leads to... fun things?
My only problem has been finding these people, so I thought online dating would be neat. I am pretty confident that if I could get to the point of actually meeting, it wouldn't be a problem.
Aw, come on, I've tried to take everyone's criticism into consideration. I think you guys had some great points.
Their points were sound, but not ambitious.
My point was:
Follow tl.net's advice and you will have a good probability of finding a poor partner. Follow your own limitations and you will have a poor probability of finding a good partner.
As far as making even polite courtship is to engage in a ritual of mutual deception, I only think it honest that the deception should be authentically your own.
Well, I've gone halfway, I think. I guess I have a moderate probability of finding a decent partner. I've taken a lot of teamliquids advice, but at the same time there are certain parts of my profile I'm not willing to part with, since it's just part of who I am.
And yea, of course any sort of dating involves massive amounts of deception. Every guy knows that to be honest about sex is to get blown out of the water, just as every girl says she wants certain things but really wants something else entirely, but societal pressure causes her to lie.
Step Three: Ask every girl of interest to take the test in Step 1. Use the table in Step 2 to get a read on whether she is your "dual." Pursue the relationship if positive, otherwise, abandon the investment and try again.
Or, shortcut to Step Three:
Find out your "dual" type, and enter that type into google + forums. Usually there will be one or more threads at this forum on the subject of relationships. You can hunt for lonely people there.
P.S. Although "dual" is the ideal reading, identicals, look-a-likes, and beneficials also have their advantages.
On March 21 2011 15:46 ZaplinG wrote: You're trying too hard. Just try typing how you would speak in real life. This way you aren't turning off people who can instantly see that you have meticulously spent loads of time on your profile. Also, it will give them a better sense of who you are as a person, which will hopefully result in more concrete connections
Yeah I really do agree. I am learning that you are better off just to be yourself, make a profile that YOU would make, not something based off a "formula". When you make a profile based off things you just got offline or tips, you aren't being yourself. Girls notice that shit. Not only is it more fun to just be yourself, but it's actually much better in terms of getting girls. I've learned that you are better off to say something stupid and be yourself, rather than say "the correct thing" which isn't something you would have thought of at all (i.e. not you).
Step Three: Ask every girl of interest to take the test in Step 1. Use the table in Step 2 to get a read on whether she is your "dual." Pursue the relationship if positive, otherwise, abandon the investment and try again.
Or, shortcut to Step Three:
Find out your "dual" type, and enter that type into google + forums. Usually there will be one or more threads at this forum on the subject of relationships. You can hunt for lonely people there.
P.S. Although "dual" is the ideal reading, identicals, look-a-likes, and beneficials also have their advantages.
Feel free to satisfy my curiosity on the matter.
Hmm, well, I've taken this test many years ago. I think I got the same result as I did this time, INTJ. Apparently my duality is ESJF. INFP and INFJ being the other two positive ones.
I'm not likely to ask a girl to take the test at random, but if we seem to be getting along and have some chemistry, I'll mention it and report the result.
Some parts of INTJ fit me, but others not. So I'm a little skeptical. But we'll see how it works out.
Unsurprisingly, according to a tl.net poll INTJ is the most common personality type here.
Should any potential reader, upon witnessing the breadth and scope of this profile, through a lack of interest or by absence of motivation, fail to devote a reasonable period of time in an attempt to fully review its contents, said reader may forfeit any expectation of interest on behalf of the profile’s creator unless the reader proves him or herself to be of above average physical attractiveness, intelligence, creativity or an acceptable ratio of all aforementioned qualities as deemed by the creator with significant weight and consideration given to attractiveness with regard to provided photographic documentation.
"There's nothing worse than being ordinary, except a kitten falling into a well and drowning just out of your reach."
I try hard to appear nice, and I’m totally not sarcastic at all! I will not let you forget this.
I enjoy having fun. Wow, I bet you've never heard that before. What an odd thing to say. You can't have fun and not enjoy it. Do you enjoy masturbating, too? I just can't get through my day without masturbating. It's so amazing.
I spend a lot of time on internet forums. Watching sports or going to a bar, not so much. I try to live a healthy lifestyle, which includes exercising and eating food branded “real food”. I know it’s not a popular opinion, but I think music is awesome!
What I’m doing with my life I am still in college, getting a degree in Philosophy or English or something. After that, the plan is to get a degree in Law or psychology or something. The future is a long ways off and I haven’t really fleshed it out much yet, and that’s just, like, my opinion, man.
I’m really good at I'm good at philosophizing, writing, being sarcastic, and noticing irony. Can you imagine having 2000 spoons, when all you need is a knife? I can.
I'm good at video games. I guess that makes me a bit of a nerd, and I'm okay with that. I understand things like “xbox” might seem out of place on a college campus, but I’m not ashamed of who I am.
The first things people usually notice about me That I'm sarcastic and smart, because I wear T-shirts with sayings that would indicate this so that people notice it before they notice things like my face, fashion sense or hygiene.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food Books: Mystery, philosophical Things like Dan Brown finding the Da Vinci Code or solving mysteries.
Movies: Horror, intelligent comedy, the occasional romantic film as long as its not too cheesy. Examples: Scary Movie 4, Fast and Furious, Pulp Fiction. Maid in Manhattan, Boondock Saints. Fiddler on the Roof.
"There's too much beauty to quit." – P. Diddy, Ma$e and Black Rob
TV: Joss Whedon, Show Time. That takes care of most of them. Scrubs, Lie to Me. I don’t watch much TV because that seems like something intellectually actualized people wouldn’t do.
Music: Techno, Rock, as long as it isn't rap we're good. All that crazy fast talking with rhymes makes me nervous, like a crime might break out.
The six things I could never do without A lot of times you can just skip to this section without even reading a profile to get a good measure of how interesting someone is. Just scroll down past the wall of text and check to see if the person lists food, water, and shelter. Wow, you know how to not die. That's HOT! Since I actually enjoy going out on dates with people that aren't dead, would you like to go get some coffee? Oh, what, was this paragraph too snarky and confrontational for you? Big whoop, who cares? Not me. (Did you get it? That was my sense of humor).
Here's the things I can't live without: Computer with an internet connection. I will get rid of you or anyone else who gets between me and the internet. Bottled water for my amazing health, because regular water is for fat people. Also, I’m staunchly “pro-litter,” but if you are hot and against littering I can change that. My music which gives me the motivation to do things in life (except become a professional musician, don’t worry). Good company. I would loosely define this as “people I know on the internet and a few old RL friends.”
That about sums me up. Only need four things to survive! I'm so much better than everyone else, make sure you remember that.
I spend a lot of time thinking about The silliness of some match making questions. Seriously, they're funny if you think about them. Like airline peanuts. Who are they trying to keep out of those things? I have lots of funny things to say.
On a more serious note, how to tell when people are lying, and the nature of the world. Also, I like to think about how great it would be to cure all major diseases, and that I would love to end suffering. I can be a serious person, and enjoy things like poetry and commitment. Global warming and cooling are big on my mind.
Less serious... Wondering why it's so difficult for people to use a blinker when they're changing lanes, how Scientology manages to still have followers, and about how Tim Roth is an amazing actor. Do you like any or all of those things? Did you ever notice how much they play Saving Private Ryan on TNT? Isn’t that wacky? Also, don’t you love cat videos on youtube and writing about your feelings? It feels good to cut loose.
On a typical Friday night I am Friday night, I am at home chilling out. It is the end of the week and it's my relaxation time. Plus I have to work tomorrow, get off my case, I don’t have to prove anything to you.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit I am happy with the way my past relationships have turned out. Everything is a learning experience and each person has taught me new things about myself. My greatest weakness? Sometimes I think I’m a little too loveable, and sometimes I just care too much.
I’m looking for
Girls who like guys or will settle for a guy Ages 18-26 Near me For: new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, one awkward date, splitting a bill at applebees
You should message me if
1) You believe in equality for everyone but aren’t going to ask me to do much in the way of protesting or making an actual difference. 2) You are awesome, like Chuck Norris jokes and Dane Cook. 3) You are witty and sarcastic. Nothing better! (just kidding, there are plenty of things better, like the things labeled 1 and 2) 4)You want to make a new friend with whom you may one day find yourself drunk or desperate enough to fool around with. 5) You'd rather read a book than go to a football game, because I hate populist things and love intellectual pursuits.
You should probably not message me if:
1) You live with your parents. Sorry, college students who live at home. That’s gross. 2) You didn't read. I’ll know, because I’m going to passive-aggressively quiz you if you message me. 3) You think movies in general are boring, even though generally most movies are boring. 4) You are insane. I know, it probably shouldn't have to be said, but I figure this works kind of like how if you ask a cop if he’s a cop, he has to tell you, right?
That’s just a rough idea of what I'm looking for... but I am open minded... message me if you dare!
Girls hate guys that are "smart and sarcastic" dude.. They want a man, not a guy that will trick them and play video games haha. But it depends on who you are trying to attract and I dont know what you look like. Still it seems like you are rambling on too much going every direction. Maybe cut it down and make it more direct.
On March 23 2011 03:03 Hypnosis wrote: Girls hate guys that are "smart and sarcastic" dude.. They want a man, not a guy that will trick them and play video games haha. But it depends on who you are trying to attract and I dont know what you look like. Still it seems like you are rambling on too much going every direction. Maybe cut it down and make it more direct.
If girls hate guys that are smart and sarcastic, it would be pretty misleading to make a profile indicating that I'm not. If we ever actually met, they'd be greatly disappointed. I'm still working on making my profile shorter and direct, though. Thanks for the advice. The shorter is better thing seems pretty clear to me.
I can't help you much but please shorten your description. If I wanted to read so much, I'd get a book. In other words, let people get to know you instead of explaining yourself like a girl.
So I recently edited my profile after reading it fresh (you know if you read something right after you write it you don't notice how it really reads). I realized that you're right, there is a lot of rambling. More importantly, there's a lot of stuff in my profile that is just redundant. Like mentioning sarcasm multiple times, mentioning that I like music multiple times, and even the "don't message me if" section doesn't really need to be mentioned since. TLDR: Too much redundancy.
My sarcastic jokes are also just a little too fleshed out. I only really need three lines to make the punchline, why extend it so much? I realize that in real life I wouldn't make a sarcastic comment the size of a paragraph, but a few sentences at most.
I think the most important lesson to be learned here is to try to make the online profile an extension of yourself. Most people just want to meet a normal person. If you were meeting someone in person, they probably wouldn't describe themselves in giant blocks of texts. They'd keep it short and simple.
For some reason, though, all these things don't seem to apply to female profile. My suspicion is because the most important thing in a female profile is the picture, and all the other stuff just comes second. If I can find something in common with a girl and she looks pretty, I'll contact her. So the more garbage she writes in her profile, the higher chances of her connecting with a guy. It's an interesting dichotomy.
I think that you would turn off anybody who you'd mistakenly perceive to be "your match" because you have an inflated sense of your wit and intelligence, and anybody with sufficient brain cells would see right through your profile.
The fact that you finish up your profile by saying that someone should message you if "3) You are clever and witty." just brings that point home full force. Someone who's actually clever or witty doesn't need to try so hard and pepper their profile with sarcastic hoity-toity nonsense in an attempt to aptly demonstrate their amazing wit. Or for that matter do they need to explicitly demand cleverness and wittiness in return from their companions. Obviously, those that are clever enough will realize that you aren't actually clever enough for their tastes, and those who aren't but mistakenly believe themselves to be so would reply to your messages, so I guess that would mean your profile would actually fulfill its purpose in that it would give you a good match. So I guess ignore me...
On March 23 2011 10:20 Bereft wrote: I think that you would turn off anybody who you'd mistakenly perceive to be "your match" because you have an inflated sense of your wit and intelligence, and anybody with sufficient brain cells would see right through your profile.
The fact that you finish up your profile by saying that someone should message you if "3) You are clever and witty." just brings that point home full force. Someone who's actually clever or witty doesn't need to try so hard and pepper their profile with sarcastic hoity-toity nonsense in an attempt to aptly demonstrate their amazing wit. Or for that matter do they need to explicitly demand cleverness and wittiness in return from their companions. Obviously, those that are clever enough will realize that you aren't actually clever enough for their tastes, and those who aren't but mistakenly believe themselves to be so would reply to your messages, so I guess that would mean your profile would actually fulfill its purpose in that it would give you a good match. So I guess ignore me...
Fair points, I suppose. But I have to be skeptical of anyone that basically writes a post just to tell me that I'm wrong about myself, I'm not clever, witty, or intelligent. So, tell me something clever, witty, or intelligent that you would put in your profile to show those characteristics. That way, I can know what is clever, witty, and intelligent in contrast to what I perceive it to be. Sound fair?
So today I decided to experiment with a dating site. The only thing I put in my profile is the story I wrote about peeing (http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=169404). Anyways, I already got 2 messages and it's just the first day. Hmm...
Step Three: Ask every girl of interest to take the test in Step 1. Use the table in Step 2 to get a read on whether she is your "dual." Pursue the relationship if positive, otherwise, abandon the investment and try again.
Or, shortcut to Step Three:
Find out your "dual" type, and enter that type into google + forums. Usually there will be one or more threads at this forum on the subject of relationships. You can hunt for lonely people there.
P.S. Although "dual" is the ideal reading, identicals, look-a-likes, and beneficials also have their advantages.
Feel free to satisfy my curiosity on the matter.
but how can you know all of whether or not she is meant for you if you don't know things like this:
Their religion, and respective piety -Their family and family history -Their socio-economic class -Their artistic and literary talents -Their sensitivity, romanticism and sentimentalism -Their patriotism, provincialism, and rootedness in their native culture -Their cooking, cleaning and other domestic abilities -Their mental and emotional stability -Their historical attitude and preferences regarding bourgeois family life -Their racial origins (if not already clear) -Their feminine virtues (virginity, modesty, etc)
Should any potential reader, upon witnessing the breadth and scope of this profile, through a lack of interest or by absence of motivation, fail to devote a reasonable period of time in an attempt to fully review its contents, said reader may forfeit any expectation of interest on behalf of the profile’s creator unless the reader proves him or herself to be of above average physical attractiveness, intelligence, creativity or an acceptable ratio of all aforementioned qualities as deemed by the creator with significant weight and consideration given to attractiveness with regard to provided photographic documentation.
"There's nothing worse than being ordinary, except a kitten falling into a well and drowning just out of your reach."
I try hard to appear nice, and I’m totally not sarcastic at all! I will not let you forget this.
I enjoy having fun. Wow, I bet you've never heard that before. What an odd thing to say. You can't have fun and not enjoy it. Do you enjoy masturbating, too? I just can't get through my day without masturbating. It's so amazing.
I spend a lot of time on internet forums. Watching sports or going to a bar, not so much. I try to live a healthy lifestyle, which includes exercising and eating food branded “real food”. I know it’s not a popular opinion, but I think music is awesome!
What I’m doing with my life I am still in college, getting a degree in Philosophy or English or something. After that, the plan is to get a degree in Law or psychology or something. The future is a long ways off and I haven’t really fleshed it out much yet, and that’s just, like, my opinion, man.
I’m really good at I'm good at philosophizing, writing, being sarcastic, and noticing irony. Can you imagine having 2000 spoons, when all you need is a knife? I can.
I'm good at video games. I guess that makes me a bit of a nerd, and I'm okay with that. I understand things like “xbox” might seem out of place on a college campus, but I’m not ashamed of who I am.
The first things people usually notice about me That I'm sarcastic and smart, because I wear T-shirts with sayings that would indicate this so that people notice it before they notice things like my face, fashion sense or hygiene.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food Books: Mystery, philosophical Things like Dan Brown finding the Da Vinci Code or solving mysteries.
Movies: Horror, intelligent comedy, the occasional romantic film as long as its not too cheesy. Examples: Scary Movie 4, Fast and Furious, Pulp Fiction. Maid in Manhattan, Boondock Saints. Fiddler on the Roof.
"There's too much beauty to quit." – P. Diddy, Ma$e and Black Rob
TV: Joss Whedon, Show Time. That takes care of most of them. Scrubs, Lie to Me. I don’t watch much TV because that seems like something intellectually actualized people wouldn’t do.
Music: Techno, Rock, as long as it isn't rap we're good. All that crazy fast talking with rhymes makes me nervous, like a crime might break out.
The six things I could never do without A lot of times you can just skip to this section without even reading a profile to get a good measure of how interesting someone is. Just scroll down past the wall of text and check to see if the person lists food, water, and shelter. Wow, you know how to not die. That's HOT! Since I actually enjoy going out on dates with people that aren't dead, would you like to go get some coffee? Oh, what, was this paragraph too snarky and confrontational for you? Big whoop, who cares? Not me. (Did you get it? That was my sense of humor).
Here's the things I can't live without: Computer with an internet connection. I will get rid of you or anyone else who gets between me and the internet. Bottled water for my amazing health, because regular water is for fat people. Also, I’m staunchly “pro-litter,” but if you are hot and against littering I can change that. My music which gives me the motivation to do things in life (except become a professional musician, don’t worry). Good company. I would loosely define this as “people I know on the internet and a few old RL friends.”
That about sums me up. Only need four things to survive! I'm so much better than everyone else, make sure you remember that.
I spend a lot of time thinking about The silliness of some match making questions. Seriously, they're funny if you think about them. Like airline peanuts. Who are they trying to keep out of those things? I have lots of funny things to say.
On a more serious note, how to tell when people are lying, and the nature of the world. Also, I like to think about how great it would be to cure all major diseases, and that I would love to end suffering. I can be a serious person, and enjoy things like poetry and commitment. Global warming and cooling are big on my mind.
Less serious... Wondering why it's so difficult for people to use a blinker when they're changing lanes, how Scientology manages to still have followers, and about how Tim Roth is an amazing actor. Do you like any or all of those things? Did you ever notice how much they play Saving Private Ryan on TNT? Isn’t that wacky? Also, don’t you love cat videos on youtube and writing about your feelings? It feels good to cut loose.
On a typical Friday night I am Friday night, I am at home chilling out. It is the end of the week and it's my relaxation time. Plus I have to work tomorrow, get off my case, I don’t have to prove anything to you.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit I am happy with the way my past relationships have turned out. Everything is a learning experience and each person has taught me new things about myself. My greatest weakness? Sometimes I think I’m a little too loveable, and sometimes I just care too much.
I’m looking for
Girls who like guys or will settle for a guy Ages 18-26 Near me For: new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, one awkward date, splitting a bill at applebees
You should message me if
1) You believe in equality for everyone but aren’t going to ask me to do much in the way of protesting or making an actual difference. 2) You are awesome, like Chuck Norris jokes and Dane Cook. 3) You are witty and sarcastic. Nothing better! (just kidding, there are plenty of things better, like the things labeled 1 and 2) 4)You want to make a new friend with whom you may one day find yourself drunk or desperate enough to fool around with. 5) You'd rather read a book than go to a football game, because I hate populist things and love intellectual pursuits.
You should probably not message me if:
1) You live with your parents. Sorry, college students who live at home. That’s gross. 2) You didn't read. I’ll know, because I’m going to passive-aggressively quiz you if you message me. 3) You think movies in general are boring, even though generally most movies are boring. 4) You are insane. I know, it probably shouldn't have to be said, but I figure this works kind of like how if you ask a cop if he’s a cop, he has to tell you, right?
That’s just a rough idea of what I'm looking for... but I am open minded... message me if you dare!
Step Three: Ask every girl of interest to take the test in Step 1. Use the table in Step 2 to get a read on whether she is your "dual." Pursue the relationship if positive, otherwise, abandon the investment and try again.
Or, shortcut to Step Three:
Find out your "dual" type, and enter that type into google + forums. Usually there will be one or more threads at this forum on the subject of relationships. You can hunt for lonely people there.
P.S. Although "dual" is the ideal reading, identicals, look-a-likes, and beneficials also have their advantages.
Feel free to satisfy my curiosity on the matter.
but how can you know all of whether or not she is meant for you if you don't know things like this:
Their religion, and respective piety -Their family and family history -Their socio-economic class -Their artistic and literary talents -Their sensitivity, romanticism and sentimentalism -Their patriotism, provincialism, and rootedness in their native culture -Their cooking, cleaning and other domestic abilities -Their mental and emotional stability -Their historical attitude and preferences regarding bourgeois family life -Their racial origins (if not already clear) -Their feminine virtues (virginity, modesty, etc)
The list of whether or not she is meant for you can be covered by a much smaller list, I think. At least for your typical guy.
A) Is she hot? If no, stop here. If yes, then B) Do we have anything in common at all? If no, stop here. If yes, then Congratulations! She's your soul mate!
Well, anyways, as an update to my current online dating blog: I've been talking to a cute girl on this online dating site, but unfortunately she hasn't been very responsive. I ask her a question, tell her a little about myself, she'll reply just answering the question. Usually I'd just say this is me sucking at conversation, but it's a little difficult having a conversation with someone like this. "So have you ever traveled?" "I've been to x and y." "What's your favorite movie?" "X." Talk about a one sided conversation. I don't really want to be the guy that keeps asking questions over and over again, but it's difficult when someone doesn't ask you anything back or doesn't go into much detail about anything.
I'll keep at it, though. I did find one girl (not attracted to her) that thinks starcraft is cool, though.
I will keep updating until I either give up or go out on an actual date with someone. I will succeed.
Shinosai, let moltke respond then all will be well in the world those were not my words, I was poking fun at him because he made that post like 6 years ago
Hmm. Update time. My profile is of course still rather unsuccessful. I changed it up a bit, we'll see if I ever hit a happy medium. The last few people I talked to were kind of boring. Oh well. I guess I'll just keep on editing til I get that first date.
This time on my profile update I tried to focus on getting rid of cliches. How many people list Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind on their favorite movies? So I figured I'd try to make that list a little more original. Same with my top 6 things, too many people list their computer or their friends or something boring like that. I tried to make an interesting list. I also tried to make a little less reference to sarcasm, intellect, and wit. We'll see how that goes.
A few interesting things I noticed: My personality test confirms that INTJ people are douchebags. Apparently, we in general have an overinflated sense of intelligence and understanding. Arrogant assholes.
The other interesting thing I noticed is that when I filled out my "what personality is right for you" test, I got ESFJ. It's interesting because I didn't really expect to get my duality out of that test. Maybe there is some merit to it after all.
Blakbeard -> That is the dumbest thing I've ever seen.