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[IA] The Infested Archon IEM Preview

Blogs > Hoju
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Hoju
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States449 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-03-01 00:56:47
March 01 2011 00:39 GMT
#1
[image loading]


The Infested Archon's IEM World Championships Preview


With the Intel Extreme Masters World Championship to start soon, The Infested Archon is bringing you up to date on all the latest news going into this huge tournament.


[image loading]


IdrA withdraws from the tournament

In a surprise announcement, Greg “IdrA” Fields has withdrawn from the tournament. Initial speculation was that he was afraid to face Stefan “MorroW” Andersson. IdrA lost to MorroW in the finals of the IEM Global Challenge in August and insulted MorroW when he chose to switch to Zerg. However, it was revealed that IdrA has been training with Liquid`Ret in Korea. Ret defeated MorroW in the finals of Assembly using an amazing strategy of building Roaches early, which MorroW was completely useless against. It is believed that Ret showed IdrA how to build Roaches early, making defeating Morrow totally trivial.

As it turns out, the real reason for the withdrawal was due to IdrA's flight to Germany was delayed by an hour. Upon hearing this, Greg immediately left the airport and went back home, believing that this 1 hour disadvantage would be impossible to overcome in the tournament.


Three Koreans and an Aussie, well, not anymore

Last week, IEM announced that ST_Ace, ST_Squirtle, and FOXMoon would be taking part in the World Championship. These three players, along with FXOmOOnGLaDe, recently competed in the GSL Code A tournament. However, all four players lost decidedly in the first round. Because of this utter failure, it has been announced that these 4 players have been uninvited from the IEM World Championship.

IEM spokesperson Carmac, who attends the prestigious RotterdaM University of Starcraft 2 for the Ungifted, had this to say:

      “Initially when we were able to get these Korean players to come to Germany for the IEM World Championship, we were incredibly excited. Together with mOOnGLaDe, we had 4 GSL players, which was awesome. Unfortunately, after actually watching the GSL and seeing all four of these players lose in the first round, we realized how big of a mistake we made. We then took a closer look and realized our errors in judgment. Moon is one of the best Warcraft 3 players in the world, and we assumed that title automatically carried over to Starcraft 2, but apparently it does not. Squirtle beat one of the best players in the world, MVP, but it turns out that MVP sucks and can't even beat a Brood War Golden Mouse winner. mOOnGLaDe is regarded as the best player on the SEA server, which we didn't we realize was like being the tallest person in a room full of Huk's. As for Ace, we took his name off the top of the TLPD ELO rankings. Unfortunately, we sorted it alphabetically instead of ELO.”

Because these four players had already booked their non-refundable flights, IEM has decided to fully compensate for their troubles by giving them free ESL TV Premium tickets for the duration of the tournament.


...And the Rest

With only seven players remaining, a few of the players took a step back and looked at the competition. Realizing that Sjow and White-ra were still left and that between the two, they have won pretty much every SC2 tournament in the past 3 months, qxc, MorroW, Tarson, Socke, and Fenix have decided to not even bother and just let Sjow and White-ra duke it out for the finals. IEM tournament organizers agreed, saying, “Sjow and White-ra are going to play each other in the finals anyway. Why go through all the trouble of playing a bunch of meaningless games when the finals are already a foregone conclusion.”



[image loading] Follow The Infested Archon on twitter for updates and maybe the occasional bad joke: www.twitter.com/InfestedArchon

[image loading] RSS Feed

+ Show Spoiler [Note from the Editor] +
For those of you who didn't like the last article and seemed to miss the point, even though you're probably not reading this article and much less clicking on this spoiler, the idea behind the article was to get people to calm down, and realize that all these complaints people have are worthy of discussion, but that everything will turn out OK. The casters and tournament organizers and other prominent community members care just as much as you do and aren't trying to destroy SC2. So, step back, take a deep breath, and stop being so angry!


+ Show Spoiler [Infested Archon archive] +
+ Show Spoiler [February 2011] +
I am soooooo Angry with NASL, Kelly, TB
iNcontroL's Announcement Will Not Cure Cancer or End World Hunger
IdrA to be deported from Korea
GSTL Uneventful, Unexciting, Uninteresting
The Infested Archon's Guide to Casting SC2
Day9 Replaced on State of the Game
+ Show Spoiler [January 2011] +
Terran loses in GSL Finals Again
EG makes a big announcement
IdrA announces he's becoming well-mannered
Blizzard releases LAN mode in new SC2 expansion
+ Show Spoiler [December 2010] +
BoxeR to be given a bye to Code S Finals
GomTV announces new details for Code S
MLG purchase $10 million recliner


****
www.TheInfestedArchon.com - SC2 Satire
Wolf
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Korea (South)3290 Posts
March 01 2011 00:44 GMT
#2
I always love these. Nicely done.
Commentatorhttp://twitter.com/proxywolf
TL+ Member
Turgid
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States1623 Posts
March 01 2011 00:45 GMT
#3
On March 01 2011 09:39 Hoju wrote:
IdrA withdraws from the tournament

In a surprise announcement, Greg “IdrA” Fields has withdrawn from the tournament. Initial speculation was that he was afraid to face Stefan “MorroW” Andersson. IdrA lost to MorroW in the finals of the IEM Global Challenge in August and insulted MorroW when he chose to switch to Zerg. However, it was revealed that IdrA has been training with Liquid`Ret in Korea. Ret defeated MorroW in the finals of Assembly using an amazing strategy of building Roaches early, which MorroW was completely useless against. It is believed that Ret showed IdrA how to build Roaches early, making defeating Morrow totally trivial.

As it turns out, the real reason for the withdrawal was due to IdrA's flight to Germany was delayed by an hour. Upon hearing this, Greg immediately left the airport and went back home, believing that this 1 hour disadvantage would be impossible to overcome in the tournament.


Ahaha this is solid gold. I love it.
(╬ ಠ益ಠ)
ReketSomething
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States6012 Posts
March 01 2011 00:46 GMT
#4
Editor's note made me smile

Nice read...qxc fighting!
Jaedong :3
Rialz
Profile Joined October 2010
Brazil177 Posts
March 01 2011 00:47 GMT
#5
Great read! Thank you!
Archas
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States6531 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-03-01 00:58:12
March 01 2011 00:55 GMT
#6
As always, great work, Hoju.
The room is ripe with the stench of bitches!
hacklebeast
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States5090 Posts
March 01 2011 00:55 GMT
#7
I realized I missed the last 4

I don't know how you manage to not stagnate with this, and avoid recycling the same jokes. Great work.
Protoss: Best, Paralyze, Jangbi, Nal_Ra || Terran: Oov, Boxer, Fantasy, Hiya|| Zerg: Yellow, Zero
Hoju
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States449 Posts
March 01 2011 00:57 GMT
#8
On March 01 2011 09:55 Aeres wrote:
Show nested quote +
Realizing that Sjow and White-ra were still left and that between the two, and that between the two, they have won pretty much every SC2 tournament in the past 3 months,[...]


Something you might wanna fix. I hate it when this happens to me. =(

As always, great work, Hoju.

for some reason when I did my last editing pass I thought I had forgotten to include that phrase, so I ended up adding it again :x Thanks
www.TheInfestedArchon.com - SC2 Satire
Hirnfrost
Profile Joined May 2010
Germany938 Posts
March 01 2011 01:02 GMT
#9
being the tallest person in a room full of Huk's

made me smile
After Mondays and Tuesdays even the Calender says W T F
Al Bundy
Profile Joined April 2010
7257 Posts
March 01 2011 01:16 GMT
#10
As for Ace, we took his name off the top of the TLPD ELO rankings. Unfortunately, we sorted it alphabetically instead of ELO.”


Excellent As always the infested archon delivers.
o choro é livre
Backpack
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States1776 Posts
March 01 2011 01:20 GMT
#11
Because of this utter failure, it has been announced that these 4 players have been uninvited from the IEM World Championship.


This may be the best line of any IA article so far.
"You people need to just generally care a lot less about everything." -Zatic
MisterD
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Germany1338 Posts
March 01 2011 01:40 GMT
#12
one of the best IA's yet :D hilarious doesn't even describe it
Gold isn't everything in life... you need wood, too!
1Eris1
Profile Joined September 2010
United States5797 Posts
March 01 2011 01:47 GMT
#13
Omg the GSL invitee part was great
Known Aliases: Tyragon, Valeric ~MSL Forever, SKT is truly the Superior KT!
chocopan
Profile Joined April 2010
Japan986 Posts
March 01 2011 02:10 GMT
#14
Excellent work, just keeps getting better tehehe... (oh and moonglade whaiting!)
Dance those ultras
Zerokaiser
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
Canada885 Posts
March 01 2011 02:16 GMT
#15
This is back to what IA should be


Ret defeated MorroW in the finals of Assembly using an amazing strategy of building Roaches early, which MorroW was completely useless against.


It's funnier because it's true.
Lanaia is love.
HollowLord
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States3862 Posts
March 01 2011 02:27 GMT
#16
IA rules.
dota 2 stream #noskill #feed #noob twitch.tv/dmcredgrave
Ulfsark
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States958 Posts
March 01 2011 03:05 GMT
#17
I loved the part where IdrA withdrew due to his flight being delayed one hour.
gg wp
eviltomahawk
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States11135 Posts
March 01 2011 03:13 GMT
#18
Squirtle beat one of the best players in the world, MVP, but it turns out that MVP sucks and can't even beat a Brood War Golden Mouse winner. mOOnGLaDe is regarded as the best player on the SEA server, which we didn't we realize was like being the tallest person in a room full of Huk's. As for Ace, we took his name off the top of the TLPD ELO rankings. Unfortunately, we sorted it alphabetically instead of ELO.

IMO, the funniest part of the article, especially the part about being "the tallest person in a room full of Huks." Absolute comedy gold, yet quite true in regards to Huk's height.

I hope you are reading, Huk. You should have drunk more milk as a kid and played basketball.
ㅇㅅㅌㅅ
emperorchampion
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada9496 Posts
March 01 2011 03:41 GMT
#19
One of the best so far for sure
TRUEESPORTS || your days as a respected member of team liquid are over
RandomAccount#49059
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United States2140 Posts
March 01 2011 03:42 GMT
#20
--- Nuked ---
DJphildo
Profile Joined October 2010
United States3 Posts
March 01 2011 17:28 GMT
#21
One of your finest, bud.
If duct tape don't fix it, use more duct tape!!!!
LittLeD
Profile Joined May 2010
Sweden7973 Posts
March 01 2011 17:46 GMT
#22
Satireness to the best.
I salute you, sir.
☆Grubby ☆| Tod|DeMusliM|ThorZaiN|SaSe|Moon|Mana| ☆HerO ☆
ch33psh33p
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
7650 Posts
March 01 2011 17:48 GMT
#23
Oh god the Ace part had me laughing like no tommorow.
secret - never again
FrostShadow
Profile Joined August 2010
United States335 Posts
March 01 2011 20:24 GMT
#24
LOL at tallest person in a room full of HuKs. This was a really good one.
Mintastic
Profile Joined October 2010
United States166 Posts
March 01 2011 20:58 GMT
#25
Great article, loved every part.
테징징
Uraeus
Profile Joined February 2008
France1378 Posts
March 04 2011 10:29 GMT
#26
Excllent entry!

I love the idea of Idra forfeiting because his plane being 1H late is an insurmountable disadvantage.
You are lucky I don't have a banhammer
Souma
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
2nd Worst City in CA8938 Posts
March 04 2011 10:31 GMT
#27
Last week, IEM announced that ST_Ace, ST_Squirtle, and FOXMoon would be taking part in the World Championship. These three players, along with FXOmOOnGLaDe, recently competed in the GSL Code A tournament. However, all four players lost decidedly in the first round. Because of this utter failure, it has been announced that these 4 players have been uninvited from the IEM World Championship.


+ Show Spoiler +
Lol, how funny that they're the only ones left.
Writer
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