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Let me start off by saying that this post is going to have some very personal opinions (thus being in the blogs), as well as share some stories that some may or may not agree with. Perhaps some might find it insightful, relatable, or maybe just completely bogus. No matter what your thoughts, share them, as I'd like to hear them.
By this time, surely everyone has heard of ADHD and ADD, as well as depression (MDD, dysthymia, etc). With the rapid spread of globalization that has been occurring over the last century, especially since the introduction of the internet, our ability to communicate our research, as well as our perspectives have also expanded.
By that same token, autism has become more widely diagnosable. Current trends show Autism's frequency increasing
As I've talked to different people, I've found that a common problem many people seem to have with labeling ADHD, autism, depression, etc, is that they think it is specifically categorizing one's personality into one area; that by saying two people both have ADHD, they are exactly the same in their decision making, their abilities. Same with depression and autism. By giving someone a label from any specific part of the autism spectrum disorders, it feels almost as if we are limiting their uniqueness. We are defining them as a human, that we are destroying this individualistic nature that many non-collectivist societies seem to so greatly prize.
In ways, this can be true, but you need to consider it from other viewpoints to see its actual usefulness. What I have come to believe is that giving such broad labels really, when you get down to it, is 1) a way for psychologists and researchers to communicate, and 2) something that they can put on insurance (in short, at least). These labels are not actually made with an absolute set character in mind. For example, to diagnose Major Depression Disorder, according to the DSM-IV-TR, is to have at least 4 symptoms that are listed http://depression.about.com/cs/diagnosis/a/mdd.htm
For ADHD, http://www.ritalindeath.com/ADHD-Criteria.htm
So, you wonder, why is it that frequency has increased for diagnosing disorders? Is it because of a broader criteria (too broad perhaps?) or maybe it is because of our increased ability to communicate with one another, i.e. globalization? Or, maybe such disorders have started to become more desirable (this can be argued, which I am willing to do at a later point)? No matter the case, current trends in diagnosis have been showing this apparent increase. Some say that, in any given year, about 1/4 Americans would qualify for a mental disorder:
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/the-numbers-count-mental-disorders-in-america/index.shtml#KesslerPrevalence
My point is, do you think that perhaps, over time, these "disorders" could become the norm? That anyone who does not have Asperger Syndrome and ADHD is an unfit member of society? I will be back to talk more on this, and share my own life story, as it applies, but I think this is a good introduction.
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I think that modern society can be mostly to blame for the exacerbation of these diseases. Watching TV for long periods of time at a young age, playing video games at a young age as well as school and increased demand on our kids are the real culprits. Not to mention the fact that forcing children to sit in desks for 8hrs a day can be very very hard for some children, and rightfully so. I feel that this trend will get even worse in the up coming years, with cellphones, ipods, and everything elese that adds constant stimulation to young children.
On another side note, I don't think that many of the ingredients in popular food is helping the matter either- just look at the prevalence of soda in schools, and the amount that is consumed by young kids. Caffeine addiction is taking a hold of may young kids, and becuase it is a CNS stimulant- that can't help as well.
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As someone who has Asperger's, I've noticed two factions of sorts, in regards to people discussing the disorder. One is the "He has Asperger's" group, and the other is "He's a person who happens to have Asperger's" group. (There's a third faction, the "He has Ass-burgers" group, but those people aren't worth my time.) There's a fundamental difference between associating someone stricken by Asperger's/ADHD/MDD with the condition, and simply acknowleding that the condition is present without letting the condition place any bearing on discourse. Unfortunately, there are far too many people (at least in America) who fall into the first category to validate the claim that irregularity will somehow become the new "normal".
Some people don't know anything about these disorders, and are content with their ignorance. Those kinds of people rely on malice and stereotypes to justify their lack of knowledge. As long as these people remain a significant part of our population, I don't see how acceptance of the "different" people will become a culture-wide idea.
On a completely unrelated side note, I fucking hate the term "Aspie", and have no idea how the term became so accepted. It sounds like a slang term for drugs, and is generally unpleasant-sounding.
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I think some of it is over diagnosis by professionals. They are trained to look for some many different things, and to try and label people with them that they are bound to find some. Not only that but we are constantly narrowing what is defined as "normal" or "acceptable." An energetic boy who likes to run around, go out and get dirty would have been labeled a healthy boy 20-30 years ago, now he has ADHD. This narrowing of what is normal is so prevalent that the there is a proposal for the DSM-V that would make introversion a mental disorder.
Our society, mostly through television, also encourages ADD through constant stimulation, short easily digestible pieces of media, and instant gratification. I feel like an old man saying this, but I feel like people are not being taught the value of hard work as much as they should be. I remember being told a million times I could be anything I want, less then half of the time it was followed by if you work hard. We aren't doing kids any favors by sheltering them from the world. I think it should be taught early on that life is hard, and you will need to do a lot of stuff you don't like.
Part of the problem is no one wants the blame, by labeling people with learning disorders, or various other disorders, its no longer anyones fault. People need to step up and start taking responsibility for themselves, and their children. Don't get me wrong ADD is a real disorder, but its not an excuse for poor performance, and its not a reason to drug them into oblivion. All it means is their brain works differently, and that you need to teach them differently, and that sometimes you need to yell "SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, AND WORK".
Much of this comes from my own experience, I was labeled ADD and dyslexic early on in school and my parents refused to accept that as an excuse. As a result I go to a good university, and I don't really see it as a disability, its just who I am, and what I need to deal with to do well. I don't see this as any different from anyone else, we all need to figure out what works for us and do things uniquely instead of just being pigion-holed into these ridged definitions and then drugged until we fit in those holes.
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This is interesting. I have ADHD and my brother has aspergers, so I've kind of grown up in the middle of some of the things you've described.
I certainly don't see ADHD as an illness. In fact I think it lends me an amazing amount of positive attributes that most people without ADHD don't seem to have--a lively energy, fast-thinking brain which lets me be quick-witted and funny, and a whole bunch of general personality traits which define who I am. I almost look upon people without ADHD as dull, and many of them need to drink and get drunk before they can be as open and energetic as I am sober, which makes me a little sad. All this for an urge to twiddle my thumbs, whistle incessantly and occasionally have trouble sitting still... I would never trade those things for what I have.
Also, as a side note, "illness" is inherently cultural and societal... the difference between "bug" and "feature" is sometimes nebulous 
As for Aspergers, my brother is very high functioning, to the point where I feel even qualifying him with that word seems to be inaccurate, because it makes you feel like you are talking to someone who could be "sicker" than he is but had good fortune not to be... but the truth of course is that you use "high-functioning" when talking about people in general and when you know them, of course, they're just themselves. I'm sure that is the case for people with all sorts of "illnesses."
I always think that we are replacing adjectives that we used to use, like "energetic" for "ADHD" and so forth. Seven hundred years ago none of these terms existed and we used adjectives rather than labels to define the people we knew. I think there's a dignity in that; I almost feel nostalgic for a time I never lived through
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Is it even important to know what people have for disorders? Everybody has one or another problem, if it doesn't effect you or them unduly negatively, why care?
Does it even matter if it becomes the new normal?
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"Whatever happened to 'crazy'?"
- Chris Rock
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I blame too much sugar and carbs. Kids shouldn't be eating candy and drinking coke at a young age.
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On November 16 2010 03:08 DwmC_Foefen wrote:
I blame too much sugar and carbs. Kids shouldn't be eating candy and drinking coke at a young age.
A scientific study shows that you're saying random stuff.
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I have decided to add some more. Mind you, it is not addressing every single issue that I've discussed with family and specialists(most of it very recently), but it is some of the more important parts of my recollection. Rather than type it all up at once, I've learned that I do best with a reward system, as has been proposed for many ADHD children. After each entry, I am allowing myself a game of SC2. This will keep me from letting my... project... end up on my unfathomably long list of incomplete undertakings.
For the start of my life, I was relatively “normal.” The only differences between other children and me were my apparent self-isolating tendencies, as well as my natural creativity, and unique outlooks. My parents have told me many stories about my peculiarities as a younger child. I would fixate on very specific, very minute details, rather than look at an entire picture (related to my later Asperger diagnosis). At the same time, I was constantly misbehaving, and receiving a large amount of negative feedback. It was about this that my parents were most concerned. They were afraid that I would start taking this negative feedback, and I would let it eat away at my evolving self-esteem.
By the age of 5, I had been kicked out of 3 preschools, and my mother was beginning to break down from the amount of stress I was causing her. She was constantly crying because she had no idea what to do with me. They put me in an afterschool program when I started kindergarten. The faculty in charge got to the point that they absolutely loathed dealing with me. I was constantly acting out, could never sit still, never seemed to follow instructions, and seemed to always be the root of any problems that occurred.
It was at the age of 6 that I started to see a child psychologist. He happened to be one of the few people in our state who was educated in the autism spectrum of disorders. He quickly noted my ADHD-like symptoms, as well as my apparent lacking social abilities. However, what I lacked in social areas, I greatly made up for in intelligence. I ended up being diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome, along with ADHD, and OCD. I will not go into all the aspects of my OCD, as I find it rather unfit for this discussion, though I might cite some examples later.
Even my father, a clinical psychologist who specializes in medical psychology, was unprepared for this “revelation.” I would later find out that my father also has ADHD, but due to his upbringing in a very strict, unforgiving, communist society (Hungary in 1940s), he was given this “Sit down, shut up, do your work” procedure, as one reader had mentioned. If he acted out, which he did… constantly… he was severely beaten. If he did not conform to every norm that society had made, he was corrected, without any consideration of his “feelings”. For example, he is left-handed (as am I), but this was unacceptable as it was different. So, his school tied his arm behind his back and forced him to learn to write with his right hand (on a side note, he is now ambidextrous). At the same time, he also had an unbelievable intelligence. It was this that saved him, but at the same time nearly damned him. He knew all the material they would teach in school, as he was constantly reading at all times. He taught himself languages, mathematics, philosophy theories, and so on. This was his personal gift. He loved to learn, and he had this amazing ability to learn anything after seeing it once. However, because of this, he was often quite bored in class, which resulted in quite a bit of daydreaming and acting out.
It is here that I can see the constant correlation made between prevalence of ADHD in higher intelligence children. Or, at the very least, its existence is more easily noticed. Nowadays, we are so concerned with everyone’s feelings, with making sure there is absolutely no way we are “hindering” a person, that we often end up doing more harm than good. It could be argued when certain measures should be taken, whether it is a sound beating, chastising, negative reinforcement, or anything of that nature. I do think there needs to be SOME accountability in this regard. We have to teach the child that, regardless of his or her condition, in order to “fit” into society, there are certain absolutes. The only way to get past these obstacles (in the eyes of such an eccentric child) is to play the game until you are in a place that you can make your own rules. My father found this in his studies. At the age of 36, he finally was done with his academia. He had multiple degrees, a Ph.D., a Psy.D, etc. It was then that he was able to be with others of his “ilk.” He does not worry about how he is fitting into society in the painful ways I’ve heard, and experienced, from many with similar childhood difficulties. His was a very Eastern upbringing, one of little tolerance, of little knowledge, or care, in all these areas of psychology. My upbringing, on the other hand, would be one of a different nature; it would produce quite a diverse array of events.
More to come…
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i was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age. So its part of my life i suppose. I'm very upbeat attitude, but am laid back. Have a very low "give a shit" level, so i bounce to things alot.
But now that I'm in the workforce, and the responsibilities of life are hitting me. I think ADD. honestly is a benefit. I don't worry all the time, like others without ADD. I mean seriously, it feels like the classification is pointless. I twiddle my thumbs, i don't stay concentrated on thing in particular too long, and really it doesn't fucking matter too function in a working environment.
If you want to understand the Attention Deficit part of the disorder. here's what happens when i get home from work. First thing i pull up teamliquid.net meh, nothing of interest, so i decide i guess ill play some guilty gear online, play like an hour, get tired of fighting venom. Watch a 15 minute episode of animaniacs. Pull up starcraft 2, play 5 zvzs in a row and get annoyed. Watch GOMTV finals, get bored of some of the games, play some Quakelive duels while listening to the finals. Talk to my girlfriend for 10 minutes, bored, while talking to her on mumble, i play some TF2 deathmatch. Get interested in play some scrims in TF2, finish conversation with her, Play 3 scrims with my team. get bored, wanna chill with some friends, call some friends over, and play Some Dungeons and Dragons, get bored half way through, and we all start bullshitting, talking about how one of our friends needs to get some fucking skills to get out of the hell hole that is Fast food. They leave, i play some starcraft 2, and go terran cause i'm bored of ZvZs, face a bunch of toss and do well with mech, but get bored cause i felt the games were too easy. Play some League of Legends with the friends that just left, get bored of owning unorganized teams. Watch a Nova special on the discovery of cold, half way through, get bored of it. Throw on some Cisco training material. As im listening to that, fall asleep.
And despite my total lack of attention span, I can still function fine.
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I'm probably a mess of all these disorders, as asberger's syndrome runs in one side of my family and ADD/ADHD runs in the other half. However, I haven't ever attempted to get diagnosed with anything because whatever I have makes me a productive and so far successful person who tends to have an exciting life. So, like a poster above said I consider whatever I have a positive quality because most of the time I'm either stressed out or happy but always energetic, and almost never sad.
My biggest issue is that whenever I am conscious of the fact that I'm thinking about something, my thoughts start deviating towards that meta level thinking instead of thinking about what I want to be doing. This is awkward when it happens in social situations, and annoying during work situations. I've written/rewritten this paragraph several times and it's taken me like 20 minutes to write it because of that haha. However, most of the time I can just let my brain go without consciously thinking about the concept of what I'm thinking about and do great.
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On November 16 2010 03:21 Djzapz wrote:Show nested quote +On November 16 2010 03:08 DwmC_Foefen wrote:
I blame too much sugar and carbs. Kids shouldn't be eating candy and drinking coke at a young age. A scientific study shows that you're saying random stuff.
A random study shows that I'm saying scientific stuff.
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found it!!!!
i got this book from amazon a while ago; i didnt read much but it was good:
Is madness purely a medical condition that can be treated with drugs? Is there really a clear dividing line between mental health and mental illness – or is it not so easy to classify who is sane and who is insane?
In Madness Explained leading clinical psychologist Richard Bentall shatters the modern myths that surround psychosis. This groundbreaking work argues that we cannot define madness as an illness to be cured like any other; that labels such as ‘schizophrenia’ and ‘manic depression’ are meaningless, based on nineteenth-century classifications; and that experiences such as delusions and hearing voices are in fact exaggerations of the mental foibles to which we are all vulnerable.
We need, Bentall argues, a radically new way of thinking about psychiatric problems – one that does not reduce madness to brain chemistry, but understands and accepts it as part of human nature.
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Thanks for the comments so far.
It should be noted that I am in no way trying to give an excuse for any bad decisions, for any misbehavior, or anything of that sort. I have, recently, learned to love these peculiarities about myself, and after making friends with another very weird individual, it has made me a lot happier. This is just my thoughts, and my observations. My personal story, as it were, will be divulged as I collect my thoughts. By posting in bursts, although I can see it being less likely to be read entirely, it allows me to go through a mental checklist. Too often I will have a discussion on a forum or with a teacher, and only later realize how much I'd left out.
Take from these posts what you wish. My opinion and my analysis of my memories are completely subjective. I actually find it more interesting to see the various perspectives, no matter how much in contrast with my own they may be, than to have a thread of nothing but agreement.
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I agree with Ramiel and NukeTheBunnys's posts. Let's not forget also that mental health is an industry worth billions that employs thousands of people. It's a profitable model: invent the need and then sell the cure. I'm not saying all of it is bad but there is lots of bad in it.
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I think there's a lot to be concerned about, especially since human minds can function so strangely... Sometimes all we need to have a disorder, is to give it a name. The placebo effect is very powerful.
I'd say the most widespread 'disorder' is hypochondria. Our culture has a very 'pity me' attitude, especially among teenagers. Growing up it's always about who has it worse, who has the better reason for being the way they are...
Sometimes you really can't help it, but I think there's also some times when you really can, but would rather play victim.
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For me, after I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome and ADHD, I really saw nothing different. Only differenece? I was put on Ritalin, and eventually Prozac as well, to help with my OCD and Depression. Without an intent to start a debate, I'll just state that my parents were frightened to death that I was going to kill myself because even at the age of 4, I was talking about suicide (as if my mind could comprehend this properly). But, I digress.
Interestingly enough, after my first day of Ritalin, when my mother came to pick me up from daycare, and the teacher in charge came to my mother and HUGGED her. She said "What on EARTH did you do? He is an absolute angel!" This is the story my parents always tell me, as well as others with "problem children." For the next few years, I started to see a huge increase in self-esteem. I was not constantly receiving negative feedback for every single thing that I did. On the other hand, I had a reputation as being a troublemaker already established, so I was often the one immediately suspected of being an instigator in the majority of undesirable situations, regardless of "truth." I was still liable to random outbursts of misbehavior (though, what child of such an age is not, to some extent?). I was also extremely clumsy (still am ^^). To counteract this, my parents enrolled me into Taekwondo.
This experience was advantageous in many respects, but at the same time, I was finding myself extremely unhappy whenever Tuesday and Thursday would roll around, as I would inevitably have to go to Taekwondo. Without going too far into the details, the instructor was a pretty big jerk. I ended up breaking down at the age of 13 and getting my parents to stop taking me. Again, not the point.
Anyways, that was one way my parents helped to address some of my coordination problems. However, I was still clumsy in my social skills. At about the age of 7, my best friend's father was coaching his children in to play chess competitively. One day, while visiting, I asked him to teach me. This turned out to be a life-altering moment. One year later, I took place in my first chess tournament, placing 3rd in K-6 division.
Over the next few years, I would continue to add trophies, awards, and relationships through chess. This... art... allowed my "quirks" to shine, and greatly decreased the amount of problems I would bring upon myself. The reason? Whenever I would find myself getting anxious, overexcited, or losing my temper, either I or my teacher would recommend that I go to the library to practice chess either with myself or with whatever book I was currently reading on theory. I got to the point where, despite being quite isolated from others, as I was currently in special education too, I was feeling very comfortable with myself. I would sit at lunch, playing chess by myself, while others were at different tables with their respective classes. I was allowed to invite people to my table, and occasionally I would have someone play with me. Either way, I was happy with myself.
At about the age of 12, I found myself alone, with my best friend moving to another state. I continued to participate in tournaments, and accumulate friends (and enemies). At this same time, in seventh grade, I made friends with an absolutely amazing teacher. He was the first teacher to truly love me for my uniqueness. He also had an interest in chess, though he was pretty bad. We talked about starting up a chess program for the school, and within a few months, it was so. Over the next 6 years, I would continue to go to this chess club, even becoming its coach when I could no longer be on the team, and had to go to High School. We did a few school tournaments, but there was not much enthusiasm in the group. It was not until college that my participation started to dwindle.
At the same time that I started to become a big part of the chess scene in my state, I was also starting to get into playing video games by myself. The first game that really engrossed me would end up being Final Fantasy 7. This would go on to give me joy from games like Diablo 2. In 1998, I found out about a game called Starcraft. I had played Warcraft 2 before, and thought it was pretty sophisticated. But this Starcraft sounded like a total rip off. I would leave this game unopened for about 5 months.
However, once I DID start playing it, I found myself absolutely immersed. This would go on to take up a good bit of my free time during middle and high school (though I would end up going back and forth between it and Diablo 2). This was one of the first games I'd played that let me play missions over and over, choose my own style based on the race I chose, or the kind of strategies I identified with. In many ways, it reminded me of chess. In fact, it would not be until around 8 years later, when I started getting into the competitive Starcraft scene, that I would realize just how much I related the two.
(On a side note, I find it humorous that it was because of Starcraft that I ended up having one of the highest WPM in my class when we started learning to type. The average was around 15 or so, while mine was at a ridiculous ~100-120. The actual reason? I had a piece of crap computer, and it took about 8 seconds to load a mission on Starcraft. I memorized all the cheats, and realized that I could type in as many as I wanted before the game finished loading, and they would all be enabled. This way, I'd be completely even with the computer on the surface, but have a significant advantage in ability to dominate).
I will continue in a bit
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As a person with autism that is very successful in relations, private life, personal achievements and businesses I think the problem lies with the labels people put on things they don't understand anything about.
There are all kinds of racism related views in today's society regarding diversity, it might be culture, skincolour, religion, sexual orientation or gender specific. This also applies to a persons neurology.
In any given group there is a standard that all people have to follow in order to be seen as mentally stable, it's called being neurotypical and is strongly associated with a persons behavior. The more a person deviate from this the more odd the person is seen.
All this talk about fixing peoples neurology is really no different than asking a person that you will help him turn from black into white or that since being a girl has it's disadvantages and she should perform a sex change to get it easier in life. For me it's nothing more than yet another form of discrimination and ignorance. I mean it wasn't that long ago that homosexuality was on the list of mental illness in the field of psychology. People have to start accepting others for what they are instead of judging them.
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Just curious, I 100% am not trying to provoke a flamewar. A debate wouldn't hurt.
But does anyone not believe in ADD and ADHD? I was researching it a bit in my own time, after someone in my lectures gave a speech about many doctors refusing to diagnose it/recognize it. Stating that there is no actual evidence, rather vague symptoms.
He gave a list of countries and famous doctors that disputed it, and gave credence to the medical system and the pharmaceutical companies using it as a profit. He then gave a quote from an article referencing ADHD as the greatest scam of our generation.
I haven't looked up any of his sources or spoke to him, but a number of people in the class agreed with him. Must admit he delivered it in a very professional manner but didn't really provide another side of the story.
I AM NOT TRYING TO START A FLAMEWAR. If you do take this offensively, just pm me or what ever. I'd rather get some opinions on the subject instead.
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On November 16 2010 08:57 Integra wrote:
All this talk about fixing peoples neurology is really no different than asking a person that you will help him turn from black into white or that since being a girl has it's disadvantages and she should perform a sex change to get it easier in life. For me it's nothing more than yet another form of discrimination and ignorance. I mean it wasn't that long ago that homosexuality was on the list of mental illness in the field of psychology. People have to start accepting others for what they are instead of judging them.
You are absolutely correct. I do not know how well this point was conveyed on my end, but the way I've learned to interpret it in recent days is that I am not necessarily at a disadvantage in a general sense, but rather I am when I am trying to fit to these preset standards of society. In specific conditions, my particular thinking will flourish
+ Show Spoiler +"These days, the autistic fascinations with technology, ordered systems, visual modes of thinking, and subversive creativity have plenty of outlets. There's even a cheeky Asperger's term for the rest of us - NTs, "neurotypicals." Many children on the spectrum become obsessed with VCRs, Pokémon, and computer games, working the joysticks until blisters appear on their fingers. (In the diagnostic lexicon, this kind of relentless behavior is called "perseveration.") Even when playing alongside someone their own age, however, autistic kids tend to play separately. Echoing Asperger, the director of the clinic in San Jose where I met Nick, Michelle Garcia Winner, suggests that "Pokémon must have been invented by a team of Japanese engineers with Asperger." Attwood writes that computers "are an ideal interest for a person with Asperger's syndrome ... they are logical, consistent, and not prone to moods." This affinity for computers gives teachers and parents leverage they can use to build on the natural strengths of autistic children. Many teenagers who lack the motor skills to write by hand find it easier to use a keyboard. At Orion Academy, every student is required to buy an iBook fitted with an AirPort card. Class notes are written on electronic whiteboards that port the instructional materials to the school server for retrieval. (At lunch, the iBooks are shut off, and if the kids want to play a two-person game, they're directed to a chess board.) The next generation of assistive technology is being designed by Neil Scott's Archimedes Project at Stanford. Scott's team is currently developing the equivalent of a PDA for autistic kids, able to parse subtle movements of an eyebrow or fingertip into streams of text, voice, or images. The devices will incorporate video cameras, head and eye tracking, intelligent agents, and speech recognition to suit the needs of the individual child." etc - 2002 Wired Magazine Article
Just the first thing that came to my mind.
Basically, it is like trying to fit a square block into a circular hole. It is not a matter of one shape being preferable to the other. It is just not a match. And the more of a mismatch there is, the harder changing one to accommodate the other is. In this case, since the majority of blocks are circular enough to fit through the hole, it is simpler to adjust the blocks as we come across them than it is to adjust the hole (society if you aren't following...). My thought is, though, what if it were to come to a point where such "disorders" were to be desirable? It would make more sense to change the circular hole. This would require a higher state of awareness than society currently has, I would say. Sure, there are "autism awareness" ads and the like, but unless it directly affects a person, they really don't see it as their reality. This would also require a higher standard of living for society as a whole, as diagnosis or education would not come naturally.
On November 16 2010 10:57 Dr.Lettuce wrote:
Just curious, I 100% am not trying to provoke a flamewar. A debate wouldn't hurt.
But does anyone not believe in ADD and ADHD? I was researching it a bit in my own time, after someone in my lectures gave a speech about many doctors refusing to diagnose it/recognize it. Stating that there is no actual evidence, rather vague symptoms.
He gave a list of countries and famous doctors that disputed it, and gave credence to the medical system and the pharmaceutical companies using it as a profit. He then gave a quote from an article referencing ADHD as the greatest scam of our generation.
I haven't looked up any of his sources or spoke to him, but a number of people in the class agreed with him. Must admit he delivered it in a very professional manner but didn't really provide another side of the story.
I would say it is a matter of interpretation. For any one argument, there are just as many against it. My opinion is that he is looking at it from the perspective of a categorizing label, as many others have suggested.
I will be addressing your concern about whether anyone does not believe in ADD or ADHD. That turned out to be a big deal later in my life. I'll just say it made a huge difference for me when someone I hold close expressed said disbelief. And since I was (and in many ways am) still trying to understand myself, let alone love myself, I really took it to heart. I will not say that it was the direct cause of my later (and current) problems, but thinking back on how I truly felt, and how I truly feel, it is a big deal to me, and has been for years. It might not have been the reason, but it fueled the downward path. More on that matter later.
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At around the age of 10 or so, I made friends with whom I would consider my best friend for many years (and in many aspects, still do). He and I started to spend more time together once I turned 16, and was able to drive. He is very intelligent, and very weird in many ways, but he also has had a very controversial life. To save space, I will just say that he has had to make a lot of his conclusions completely on his own, oftentimes biased from his darker experiences. By that same token, he has learned self-sufficiency the likes of which I could only dream of possessing at such an early age.
Regardless, it was around the age of 18 or so that he and I started talking more and more, sharing more intimate thoughts and ideas. It was about this time that I'd shared with him the labels, as I'd still considered them as such, of ADHD and Asperger's, as well as my depression. In so many words, he expressed his belief that none of them are "real", that it was, pretty much, completely in my head (so to speak...). I did not really think about how big an impact this had made, but thinking back now, I cannot help but revel at my change. I started college in the Fall of '05. Along with being accepted into this medical-focused university, I received a full scholarship, as well as admittance into the University Honors Program.
For the first semester, I made all As, with one B. Among the classes were Calculus I, some Honors courses, and Chemistry I. It was the next semester, in Spring of 06, that things started to take a drastic turn. I was steadily taking my medication less and less, until it got to the point that I would not take it for weeks. Looking back, I really feel it was my way of trying to find who I was. For as long as I could remember, I'd always been on medication. I really had nothing to compare it to. I was who I was. Along with my transition into college life came responsibility. My father no longer would hound me to take my medication every single morning. He expected, and rightfully so, me to take it upon myself to take my medication.
In Spring '06, I took an Honors course in American Poetry as it related to the human soul, Biology I, Chemistry II, and Calculus II. For some reason, I was finding a great lack in initiative to show up for class. I ended up dropping Calculus II due to problems with understanding the teacher's writing and his utilization of a greatly outdated program, but that is neither here nor there. All of these classes were required for my Biology major.
Of course, my ability to achieve success with minimal effort had become so natural for me that I had not attributed it to much other than the way things naturally are. Ignorant on my part, and I'd have to find this out... slowly, and painfully.
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I'm just curious but what are your thoughts on 'normal' people taking Ritalin to increase concentration for studying? I understand that they don't "need" it but it's almost like a 'unfair' advantage since people who do have ADD take it for the exact same reason (needing it to concentrate).
I mean the way I see it, everyone is unique and differently. Maybe person A was born with a better ability to learn/concentrate better and person B has a deficiency in that. If someday someone invents a magical pill that raises your IQ by 50, should that pill/medicine only be limited to people who are retarded to give them a even ground with 'normal' people?
It might be a stupid question because I'm not really sure how ADD works. I know a few friends from college that used to take Ritalin during finals week when they have to cram and they swore it helps them a lot in terms of concentration. I was tempted to try it once but decided against it because i thought it was cheating.
I actually have a lot of problems concentrating in general. Often times when someone is talking to me, I'd just space out in mid sentence and I have to tell them to repeat it because I didn't hear them. This especially sucks when I work or during lectures in school, my boss can be giving me specific instructions on how to do something and in my head I would tell myself "ok this is fucking important, I need to know this, FUCKING PAY ATTENTION" and I'd space out a second later, forget everything he said previously and have to ask him to repeat it.
I remember a specific instance in HS where the teacher called on me for some question and I didn't pay attention so I told him I didn't know the answer. He ask me what was the question and I swore I was listening to it but I forgot. then he moves on and says something else and within 10 seconds calls on me again and asks me "What did I just say?" and again my mind wandered for a second so I forgot it. This literally happened 2-3 more times before he gave up and thought I just didn't care, even though I was telling myself to pay attention because I know he's going to keep calling on me but my mind just keeps going blank/wandering mid sentence and I'd just forget everything. Oh ditto to books, nowadays I can be reading a page and my mind would wander halfway through and I'd have to restart at the top of the page... This happens a lot and sometimes i'd be stuck re-reading the same page 4-5 times (really sucks for textbooks/dry materials).
Not sure if those are symptoms of ADD or maybe I just have crappy concentration/attention span. My parents was asian/uneducated so they would never think to take me to the doctor or think it might be a medical problem since I was a relatively quiet kid. I remember when I was like 7, I'd get a daily beating for sitting too close to the TV because I needed glasses but didn't know I needed glasses  (both parents have like 20/20 vision, it took them a REALLY long time to figure out that I couldn't see). I mean I'll probably make an effort to go to a doctor and get it checked out one of these days but right now my healthcare doesn't cover it and I'm unemployed.
/edit shit sorry for fucking long post/thread hijack.
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I have found myself thinking over the thread throughout the day and having an intense desire to edit certain passages, deleting some altogether, such as the side note about Starcraft affecting my WPM, or the inclusion of the reason why I am taking so long to write the thread. It seems almost like I am flaunting these eccentricities, and my first impulse is to remove them, if only to allow for a more concise, objective point of view. However, I have decided against it, as I feel it would take away from the true spirit of the thread. I did not include all my random thoughts (far from it), but the fact that I saw a correlation at all leads me to think its inclusion is more advantageous than its deletion... Either way, I digress, and thus, needlessly lengthen this already daunting read.
However, it DOES need to be noted that I unwittingly excluded some very pivotal information, which really needs to be addressed now, before I go any deeper into my thought processes
As I had been diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger's, I was eligible for Disability Support Services. This was more in regards to ADHD than anything else. To complete my requirements for this service I had to provide documentation of the diagnosis, as well as attend a summer course that was supposed to prepare me for college and how I should adjust so as not to let my disorder interfere. I completed this course, which consisted of not only lectures and explanations of the "way we(ADHD) think", but also multiple assessments of our capabilities, as well as personality tests (Briggs Myers, as well as career aptitude tests).
As had become so natural to me, I conquered each test. My competitive nature even led me to cheat on one answer, which was about the definition of a word. Rather than understanding the entire course for what it was, I was seeing it as a game of sorts. In fact, to this day, I approach many things with this mindset. In an effort to explain what I mean (as it is actually quite important in my mind), I will attempt to give close an example as I can. I have never really given the future much thought up to this point (and in many ways I still do not).
I live in the present, constantly ignoring approaching disaster. My whole life, I have never had to deal with severe consequences. Everything always turns out well. I realize now that it is greatly due to my parents' participation, though I did not fully grasp its existence at the time. From my point of view, nothing else really existed. It was just me, and nothing else. Everything was just a story to me. No one else had ever lived a life before me, historical figures never existed; it was all just data. I never really gave any time or effort to contemplation of their existence (in fact, I occasionally find myself overcome with a sense of wonder when I contemplate this... parallel of existence to my own). In many ways, I was stuck in my egocentric stage. I thought the entire world revolved around me. My reality is all that mattered. And, by that same logic, I started to enter what David Elkind termed a personal fable. That is, I felt as though I was the only one to ever experience life, as I knew it. And, if anyone's separate existence ever did enter my mind, it was incorporated in an egocentric way. In other words, I was constantly thinking that I was on everyone's mind. This would later be amplified to monstrous proportions.
"So," you might ask, "what does this have to do with your drawn-out story?" Well... everything. I was viewing the world as a video game of sorts. Any mistakes I made were not important, as it would all work out. And, it should not matter, since the consequences of these mistakes would not surface immediately. To restate what I'd said earlier, I was (and still am) living in the present. I ignored the consequences of my actions. The future did not enter the equation. This is a common symptom among people with ADHD (mind you, again, this is not an absolute, but rather a shared view on a disorder that has common psychological characteristics across its defined spectrum). Of course, there was really no reason for me to think otherwise. This subconscious outlook made sense.
Going one step further, with a particular stress on the importance of noting this to be my interpretation, when combined with Asperger's, this outlook makes even more sense. If I am the only variable in the equation, then things are a lot easier to calculate. If I were to include the existence of billions of others, as well as the past existence and influence of others, into this equation, it would be impossible to ever make any conclusions on the "correct" move. This is, as was alluded to in the Wired magazine article earlier, a huge reason why I have always been attracted to well-defined, well-structured, and logical activities. I love to build computers, as well as troubleshoot them, as there is only so much that can be wrong, and I can use a combination of game theory (in a loose sense), deductive reasoning, and past experience to help me come to my conclusion on the next, most correct move, especially if it is hardware related. Mathematics follows this same principle. It is like a puzzle. You are trying to solve a specific problem with predetermined tools. However, when you start to learn the theory and real-world application of such tools, things start to become a bit more unclear. Another example would be grammar. Though I will occasionally see contradictions among sources in regards to the proper syntax of English, for the most part, I am relatively comfortable with my own application of its "rules." (Mind you, this and the sentence before it have two glaring contradictions, in my eyes, which I would normally go back to fix for the sake of consistency, but that is not the focus of this thread, and I think the amount of time it would entail would make little difference).
My point is that I have become increasingly aware of my tendency to think of my life as a standalone existence. I will not make this revelation, however, for a while. The pain that this causes, has been one of the greatest I've ever known. As the saying goes, "There is no growth without some pain." In that regard, I consider myself far more mature in comparison to how I was even half a year ago. That will have to suffice as my explanation for now.
As for my experience with this course, which was administered by the Department of Rehabilitation Services, I did not really grow much from the experience. In my mind, it was just a formality, in order to obtain these services that my parents told me I required. Upon completion of this course, I was admitted into DSS, and given specific accommodations. Among these included extended time during tests, the permission to use a laptop for note-taking in class (as it was still not completely common at the time), and being allowed to take tests in an isolated area, so as to reduce distractions. I used these for accommodations for specific classes, with a progressively lower frequency each semester. By '07, I had stopped using them altogether.
It was during Spring '06, that I encountered my first indication of a struggle (be it from within, or with outside forces). It should also be noted that the previous semester, my first at the school, I had a final project which was due early December. I found myself wanting to put it off more and more, and asking for forgiveness from the director of the Honors Program. He was quite understanding, and let me submit it late December. I received 3 As for this course, which counted as 9 hours total. With this in mind, as I went into Spring '06, I started to skip classes. I would either not go to class at all, or leave early. A common theme that I would later identify was that I was constantly tired. I would either decide to stay home and sleep through the class or I would leave early because I just wanted to go home, and go to sleep. I did not think much of it as I'd always had a somewhat lax attitude (I'd thought) toward studying and fulfilling my academic responsibilities.
As a result of this inattentiveness to my own behavior patterns, I started to have a feeling I'd never really known before. I was struggling. I was making Cs on biology tests, Bs on chemistry tests, and Ds and Cs on Calculus II tests. I found myself saying that it would balance out with my fantastic first semester; it would just be a small bump in the road. As the semester continued, rather than figuring out how to change my behavior to suit my responsibilities, I just ignored the situation.
In the Honors seminar, the grade was comprised of 3 essays and a final, which was 3 more essays. I turned in the first essay exactly on time, and was given a detailed review of it, as well as a chance to revise it for a higher grade, of which I took advantage. The second essay was about comparing two poems whose discussion took place in a class I'd skipped (to catch up on some sleep, of course). I inquired as to what I should do, and the professor (whom will now be referred to as Dr R) replied, in an unfathomably accommodating manner, that I could write it on whatever two poems I wished. While I considered (or perhaps "ignored" would be more precise...) the subjects for this essay, a deadline for our third, and final, essay approached.
This deadline came, and went, and with no negative results. Dr R inquired as to the progress of the essays, but never showed any aggression in the matter. It was squarely, and rightfully so, upon my shoulders. It was my responsibility. I started to feel guilty for taking so much liberty that I finally submitted the second essay about 2 months after the deadline. At this point, we were preparing for our finals in all my classes. I told myself this was the excuse for which it was worth putting off my essay. Of course, I would continue to make excuses for myself, and make things so bad that I am still trying to fix the damage I've done.
I'm sure no one is still reading... but if they are, I will continue later.
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Then, in Fall 2006, I took the 2nd round of 9 hours, and ended up doing most of the work required, but owed 3 essays. It should also be noted here that one of the essays, a group science project, was a combination of efforts of our whole group to examine the effects of nicotine on cells of specific sea life. Rather than prioritize school above all else, I was starting to work full time at a... less than respectable job; delivering pizza. Whenever our science group would wish to meet, it would usually be on a Saturday, on which I normally worked 10 hours. Rather than change my priorities, and instead start taking Saturday off for schoolwork, I would just tell them I could not participate. Ultimately, I would give little help in the project, only supplying the materials for the presentation.
For the next 3 years, I would prioritize this job over my schoolwork, and along the way, cause quite a number of problems for myself. About halfway into 2007, I turned in my portion of the science project, which was quite lacking in many aspects, since I was usually not involved in the group's efforts. I still owed two more essays: a literary analysis comparing two of the three books we were assigned during the summer, and a short essay analyzing any aspect of the fall course I wished. Then, of course, there was still that final essay I still owed for the Honors seminar from Spring '06... I just kept digging a deeper and deeper hole for myself.
Since I had not finished the Spring '06 course, I received an I for "incomplete" for the course, but once the fall '06 semester passed, it turned to an F. That, combined with my C in Chemistry and C in Biology resulted in a warning from the university that I was in danger of losing my scholarship, which also provided me with 300 dollars each semester for books.
One further note; I had already stopped taking my medication by this point, and I was not completely aware of any differences. Looking back, the change is unbelievable. As I think back on my mindset of the time, I remember my general thought processes of the time:
"I see people who have much fewer advantages than I do make it through college relatively easily. I see these lesser individuals do so well, it is hard for me not to think I should do even better, with even less effort. Perhaps this really is just a huge bunch of BS. There really is no "ADHD" or "Asperger's" or anything. I am who I am. People have made it through in the past without aid, so why should I be any different? It's probably just all in my head."
There was further analysis than just that, but it was all quite flawed. I started to sever all my ties with any support for my "disabilities". Eventually, I lost my scholarship, and rather than realize the magnitude of this, I countered with "Well, I can just get financial aid, and I'll make enough to pay it all back later. My father paid all his graduate school financial aid within a year of graduation. I am sure I can do the same."
However, in order for me to get financial aid, I would have to tell my parents that I'd lost my scholarship. However, I could not bring myself to tell my father that I was struggling in any way. I told him I made a misstep, and did not take enough hours; thus I lost my scholarship. I was ashamed of the truth. He had always bragged about how well I was doing in college, about how easy I found it. I was scared to correct this. I did not want to disappoint him. In my mind, if I can just fix this problem with my essay, and retake my courses that had bad grades, I could pretend nothing ever occurred. And, if I wished, I could tell them later, after I'd graduated. This theme of procrastination would continue to grow. The illogical nature of it all is particularly annoying to me now, as I look back, but at the time, it made perfect sense to just put things off one more day. I mean... everything always works out in the end, so why change?
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So, for the next few years, I would set logical goals, but never follow through with them. I would take a few mathematics classes, 1 in Calculus II, another in accounting, and another in using excel and other programs for math problems. Along the way, I would withdraw from Calculus II twice, and go on to receive 3 Fs in it. Each time, I told myself I would just get the F forgiven, as was the academic policy, next semester, and get an A then. I would get about half way through the semester, and end up struggling, with erratic grades. And, instead of trying to fight for a passing grade, I just would give up. I would wake up in the morning, look at the clock, and think "eh, what is one class going to hurt? I can figure the matieral out." And this would happen multiple classes in a row. Then, it would come around to an exam, and I would try to cram what I could, but I would have no experience with the material. Instead of withdrawing, I told myself that I just had to take the F because, first off, I wanted to stay full-time so that my health insurance would continue, and 2nd, I did not have the initiative to withdraw. I continued to retake Calculus II, figuring this was the one bump I needed to overcome. Mind you, one symptom of children diagnosed with ADHD is an uncanny ability to ignore consequences, or to see only short term. What would happen once I DID pass Calculus II? Would I, all of a sudden, understand all that I needed to do in the next classes? Why would my habits change at all? It really did not occur to me. All I thought about what, "I need to just pass Calculus II." That was my goal, but it was a meaningless goal.
Eventually, I switched to computer sciences, as I'd taken an introduction class in which I designed a simple HTML. I found it rather enjoyable, so I started learning about computer languages. I took introduction to object oriented programming (Java). I kind of followed, but I was still constantly skipping classes. I would do well on the first couple tests, but flunk the lab exams, when I was supposed to put the concepts into action. Mind you, all this time, I still owe those 2 essays. In winter of 2008, I wake up one night, have a random urge to be productive. I sit down, write my essay for the poetry class, and the next morning I bring it to my professor. He sends me an email back a few days later stating that it was a good effort, and would like me to look over some possible changes to make it better. I, in so many words, say I am fine with what it is, and don't wish to do anything else. He eventually tells me that I will get a C in the course, and I just accept it.
He sends in the appeal, it is granted, and I have that F turned into a C. In my mind, I just made a huge step, and that was worth a bit of relaxation. I still have 1 essay due for the 9 hours class, but I had not read the books that were required for the analysis. I would order the cliffnotes for the books, and bookmark pages that related to them, but I would never do anything further. I just kept letting myself distract myself with other things.
In the middle of 2009, I had a big problem at my current work, delivering pizzas. I left, and found myself without any income for about 6 months. I used this time to watch TV, be lazy, and really just make empty promises to myself. I started running up my credit cards like I'd never left work, and pretty much maxed two. Eventually, an old buddy called me about a job he worked at, where they needed a driver. I started working there, soon after. It went relatively well, though the pay was very erratic, since the tips were usually less than optimal. I found myself struggling with menial tasks assigned me to. I could not differentiate dressings, I could not properly use their outdated systems, I would annoy people whose orders I would try to take. It was basically killing my soul. I got to the point where I was feeling completely overwhelmed. For some reason, this job was eating away at me. I was dealing with only jerks, amoral pigs, and downright trash. Nothing was redeeming in this job.
It was at this time that I started feeling so low, so bad, I would call in every other day with an excuse not to come in, whether it was due to a headache, or not being able to start up my car. Or anything really. My headaches were mostly faked, but I got to the point where I was starting to believe I actually had them. My boss would tell me I had to come in anyways and they'd give me a remedy, but I'd put on a sick facade, and close myself into the office, close my eyes, and don the pose of a sickly worker. I'd actually eventually start to get such headaches.
It was then that the REAL headaches started to occur. I was beginning to feel so bad, to hurt and hate myself so much... I was seriously contemplating suicide for a while. Something had to change...
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EPT![[image loading]](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:US-autism-6-17-1996-2007.png)
