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Guys, so far the girl rejected sex, you might call her a whore but she's staying true to her man. I didn't say OP "has to" fuck her. I commended his efforts in this regard because I didn't see anything wrong with it. He went with his heart and lived through some drama. That's awesome.
Xyik, I was going to bring in the church analogy, but in a different perspective. I was going to say that pulling someone out of a commitment to a faulty relationship is as much of an achievement as pulling someone out of his/her religious prejudices. Looks like you wouldn't enjoy that one though.
On September 16 2010 08:45 FabledIntegral wrote: If I'm drunk and making out with another girl when I have a girlfriend then I fucking cheated on her. Yeah, I'd say you're probably in the bottom 5% of morality concerning relationships if you don't think that is cheating. If you do make out with other girls when you have a girlfriend, and use being drunk as an excuse, then you're cheating on her. Don't be friggin' exclusive if you can't "help yourself."
I did that before because I couldn't resist it, maybe that's why I perceive it differently?
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On September 16 2010 05:28 Salv wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 04:28 saltywet wrote:On September 16 2010 02:20 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 02:07 dudeman001 wrote:On September 16 2010 00:51 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 00:48 dudeman001 wrote: First off, nothing is your fault. If the girl is really that keen on cheating on a boyfriend she's had for 3-4 years, you can't blame yourself.
Second, let her make her own choices. Not much sense getting in a relationship with her if she goes into it not sure what she's doing. Let her sort what she really wants and plan from there. Can you specify what you mean when you say nothing is the OP's fault? What about his role in this girl cheating on her boyfriend? It's not the OP's fault because in the situation, he's just a guy who's attracted to a girl. Yeah she's taken, but if she had the decency to not cheat on her boyfriend there'd be no issues here (unless our OP made a move anyway). If a girl has a boyfriend and is flirting with you anyway, are you going to feel like you're doing something wrong? You shouldn't, since she's the only using guys as she chooses. I still see it as a dick move, it's promoting cheating as long as the other person is willing. Maybe I just have more moral scruples to this situation than most of the people in this thread, but I think if you're moving in on a girl that you know is taken, regardless of whether or not she's into it, you're a dick. Lol at people bashing him OP for dating a girl with a boyfriend... as long as the girl isn't engaged or married she's free game to chase, being GF/BF is only a course to decide whether they should marry and stay together forever or not you're only a dick if you move on a girl if she's your buddies' girl, you don't move on a friends girl Disagree. You're an asshole for promoting cheating. Look, assuming a couple is exclusive of course, if you go after a girl with a boyfriend and she had any class, she would turn you down. If you go after a girl with a boyfriend and she's fine with that, she's a whore. Her actions promote the idea that it's acceptable to cheat. Your actions of going after any girl, regardless if they are taken are not, also promotes the idea that it's acceptable to cheat. If you do that, IMO, you're an asshole. You wouldn't care much for it if it happened to you, so you shouldn't pull that crap with others; it's altruism that benefits everyone who values monogamy. Moving in on your friends girlfriend is just being an asshole to a higher degree. Congratulations for having some line you're not willing to cross.
lets be real, a few decades ago, girls and guys go on dates with everyone, until they decide who they like and get married. its only in relatively recent decades that the idea of "girlfriends" and "boyfriends" come up.
in our current era people can be GF/BF without even being intimately close. as long as they are GF/BF people can very easily break up and switch partners, cheating at this stage isn't as big of a deal as you and other people in this thread make it sound to be
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On September 16 2010 08:54 News wrote:Guys, so far the girl rejected sex, you might call her a whore but she's staying true to her man. I didn't say OP "has to" fuck her. I commended his efforts in this regard because I didn't see anything wrong with it. He went with his heart and lived through some drama. That's awesome. Xyik, I was going to bring in the church analogy, but in a different perspective. I was going to say that pulling someone out of a commitment to a faulty relationship is as much of an achievement as pulling someone out of his/her religious prejudices. Looks like you wouldn't enjoy that one though. Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 08:45 FabledIntegral wrote: If I'm drunk and making out with another girl when I have a girlfriend then I fucking cheated on her. Yeah, I'd say you're probably in the bottom 5% of morality concerning relationships if you don't think that is cheating. If you do make out with other girls when you have a girlfriend, and use being drunk as an excuse, then you're cheating on her. Don't be friggin' exclusive if you can't "help yourself." I did that before because I couldn't resist it, maybe that's why I perceive it differently?
lol I'm not religious at all.
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On September 16 2010 08:54 News wrote:Guys, so far the girl rejected sex, you might call her a whore but she's staying true to her man. I didn't say OP "has to" fuck her. I commended his efforts in this regard because I didn't see anything wrong with it. He went with his heart and lived through some drama. That's awesome. Xyik, I was going to bring in the church analogy, but in a different perspective. I was going to say that pulling someone out of a commitment to a faulty relationship is as much of an achievement as pulling someone out of his/her religious prejudices. Looks like you wouldn't enjoy that one though. Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 08:45 FabledIntegral wrote: If I'm drunk and making out with another girl when I have a girlfriend then I fucking cheated on her. Yeah, I'd say you're probably in the bottom 5% of morality concerning relationships if you don't think that is cheating. If you do make out with other girls when you have a girlfriend, and use being drunk as an excuse, then you're cheating on her. Don't be friggin' exclusive if you can't "help yourself." I did that before because I couldn't resist it, maybe that's why I perceive it differently?
Lol rejecting sex but feeling another guy up and "intensely making out" isn't cheating? So you're one of those people. It's not cheating unless you fuck the guy. I'd love to see you perfectly ok with your wife feeling up some guy completely because she's intoxicated, into him, and likes him.
And if you did it before, fine, you've cheated on someone. Whatever. You were a dick to your girlfriend, would she have been ok with it if she found out? Would she tell people you never cheated on her? Doubt it.
Don't get me wrong, I've definitely fooled around with a girl who's been in relationship before. And she was the hottest girl I've ever done anything with (and we actually never had sex, although I got her in the shower). What I was saying is I would never date a girl like her because of what she did with me, despite her being hotter than any girl I've ever dated or had sex with.
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On September 16 2010 08:57 FabledIntegral wrote: Lol rejecting sex but feeling another guy up and "intensely making out" isn't cheating? So you're one of those people. It's not cheating unless you fuck the guy. I'd love to see you perfectly ok with your wife feeling up some guy completely because she's intoxicated, into him, and likes him.
And if you did it before, fine, you've cheated on someone. Whatever. You were a dick to your girlfriend, would she have been ok with it if she found out? Would she tell people you never cheated on her? Doubt it.
Don't get me wrong, I've definitely fooled around with a girl who's been in relationship before. And she was the hottest girl I've ever done anything with (and we actually never had sex, although I got her in the shower). What I was saying is I would never date a girl like her because of what she did with me, despite her being hotter than any girl I've ever dated or had sex with.
Now let's change "wife" to "girlfriend", because it would be relevant.
I'd get mad over it, we are all weaklings after all. But if I found out she stayed true to me - that would be somewhat of a relief. Plus guys and girls approach these situations differently, what's cheating to us isn't always cheating to them. Absolute majority would have sex as a followup to making out, OP situation is special in this regard. Also consider that US girls are not the same as foreign ones, here the sex followup happens literally almost every time.
My gf found out back then, we broke up instantly. I didn't think much of it, dated her long enough to not regret missing something special.
And yeah, you're saying you've done it yourself, that's exactly my point. If you get specific you can classify this as "cheating", it still happens and people have to deal with it. I'm positive that if I had someone I was really obsessed with I wouldn't kiss anyone else.
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I like how you think rejecting sex is a big deal. I'm pretty sure the only difference after making-out multiple times, is that the guy's dick hasn't made skin contact with anyone else. It's the act of being that intimate to someone else thats cheating.
It sounds like you're all okay with it because you've been through similar situations before and have 'lived' through it so you think it's no big deal for anyone else. Classic. Selfish people stay selfish.
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On September 16 2010 09:04 News wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 08:57 FabledIntegral wrote: Lol rejecting sex but feeling another guy up and "intensely making out" isn't cheating? So you're one of those people. It's not cheating unless you fuck the guy. I'd love to see you perfectly ok with your wife feeling up some guy completely because she's intoxicated, into him, and likes him.
And if you did it before, fine, you've cheated on someone. Whatever. You were a dick to your girlfriend, would she have been ok with it if she found out? Would she tell people you never cheated on her? Doubt it.
Don't get me wrong, I've definitely fooled around with a girl who's been in relationship before. And she was the hottest girl I've ever done anything with (and we actually never had sex, although I got her in the shower). What I was saying is I would never date a girl like her because of what she did with me, despite her being hotter than any girl I've ever dated or had sex with. Now let's change "wife" to "girlfriend", because it would be relevant. I'd get mad over it, we are all weaklings after all. But if I found out she stayed true to me - that would be somewhat of a relief. Plus guys and girls approach these situations differently, what's cheating to us isn't always cheating to them. Absolute majority would have sex as a followup to making out, OP situation is special in this regard. Also consider that US girls are not the same as foreign ones, here the sex followup happens literally almost every time. My gf found out back then, we broke up instantly. I didn't think much of it, dated her long enough to not regret missing something special. And yeah, you're saying you've done it yourself, that's exactly my point. If you get specific you can classify this as "cheating", it still happens and people have to deal with it. I'm positive that if I had someone I was really obsessed with I wouldn't kiss anyone else.
I haven't cheated. I've made out with a girl that has a boyfriend. Major difference.
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On September 16 2010 09:09 Xyik wrote: I like how you think rejecting sex is a big deal. I'm pretty sure the only difference after making-out multiple times, is that the guy's dick hasn't made skin contact with anyone else. It's the act of being that intimate to someone else thats cheating.
It sounds like you're all okay with it because you've been through similar situations before and have 'lived' through it so you think it's no big deal for anyone else. Classic. Selfish people stay selfish.
I did say I would suffer if it happened to me, my ego would be hurt so much haha. I do consider this cheating, yet I don't think OP was wrong for going at it. Ideally she had to break up with her bf or not get close with OP at all. But they get drunk, little chit chat and she realizes she likes him way more than her silly bf.
On September 16 2010 09:11 FabledIntegral wrote: I haven't cheated. I've made out with a girl that has a boyfriend. Major difference.
So finally OP is in the clear?
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On September 16 2010 09:15 News wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 09:09 Xyik wrote: I like how you think rejecting sex is a big deal. I'm pretty sure the only difference after making-out multiple times, is that the guy's dick hasn't made skin contact with anyone else. It's the act of being that intimate to someone else thats cheating.
It sounds like you're all okay with it because you've been through similar situations before and have 'lived' through it so you think it's no big deal for anyone else. Classic. Selfish people stay selfish. I did say I would suffer if it happened to me, my ego would be hurt so much haha. I do consider this cheating, yet I don't think OP was wrong for going at it. Ideally she had to break up with her bf or not get close with OP at all. But they get drunk, little chit chat and she realizes she likes him way more than her silly bf. Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 09:11 FabledIntegral wrote: I haven't cheated. I've made out with a girl that has a boyfriend. Major difference. So finally OP is in the clear?
I never said OP did anything wrong, I said the bitch was a whore and he should have no intention of dating her. I never said he did anything wrong in any of my posts.
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You're right, I just kept arguing forgetting who said what. She did cheat in guys eyes, but I disagree that OP should abandon her since it doesn't matter. Have as much fun with it while he can - that would be my advice. He wants her and she wants him, they don't even need a formal "relationship" to enjoy this.
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On September 16 2010 09:28 News wrote: You're right, I just kept arguing forgetting who said what. She did cheat in guys eyes, but I disagree that OP should abandon her since it doesn't matter. Have as much fun with it while he can - that would be my advice. He wants her and she wants him, they don't even need a formal "relationship" to enjoy this.
I could advise that as well but it seems like in the OP it's pretty clear he wouldn't be able to handle a "just have fun" type of relationship. That's my point.
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On September 16 2010 01:42 JackMcCoy wrote: Option 2 is to bring some sexy back and hit her with a piece of the magic.
Immortal advice.
From now on, whenever I get rejected by a girl on the first pass, I'm going to simply repeat this sentence in my head and try again with my pants down. And when she angrily asks me what I'm doing, I will casually reply, "Option 2".
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On September 16 2010 08:41 News wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 08:31 Xyik wrote: So that 'impossible girl' you were talking about was some random that you've had your eye on and not somebody's girlfriend? I'm pretty sure you were the one promoting how happy you would be to be able to get with that girl who's 'impossible' because she already has someone.
Sorry, you did disappoint. And no, that would not happen if people like you did not exist. 'I'd rather try and experience it than not try at all'. That applies to stealing things from people? "Impossible girl" I was talking about was simply a girl that was hard to get because she was burdened with some "relationship" that she couldn't overcome no matter how hard she wanted to. If you made her do it - be happy. And you are not "stealing things from people". It's her choice first, she isn't anyone's "thing" either. Fail analogy. Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 08:39 FabledIntegral wrote: 1. I assure you for the vast vast majority of males, if your women is making out and feeling another guy up, it's blatant cheating. 2. It's not some mistake when she's intoxicated once, it's a regularly occurring thing that happens because she has feelings for him.
In short, by most men's standards, she's a whore. You can't see yourself being drunk making out with another girl because she is your cute roommate? If you can't - that's you, my moral standards must be rotten.If she's a whore - so be it, she's the whore for OP because she can't resist it. He's the fucking man.
I'm comfortable with this. You clearly don't feel that making out and feeling up is cheating, I would argue that it is, and that it's ridiculous you feel otherwise. You're entitled to your opinion of course, but I think that you would feel differently if a girlfriend of yours did that to you.
On September 16 2010 08:55 saltywet wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 05:28 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 04:28 saltywet wrote:On September 16 2010 02:20 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 02:07 dudeman001 wrote:On September 16 2010 00:51 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 00:48 dudeman001 wrote: First off, nothing is your fault. If the girl is really that keen on cheating on a boyfriend she's had for 3-4 years, you can't blame yourself.
Second, let her make her own choices. Not much sense getting in a relationship with her if she goes into it not sure what she's doing. Let her sort what she really wants and plan from there. Can you specify what you mean when you say nothing is the OP's fault? What about his role in this girl cheating on her boyfriend? It's not the OP's fault because in the situation, he's just a guy who's attracted to a girl. Yeah she's taken, but if she had the decency to not cheat on her boyfriend there'd be no issues here (unless our OP made a move anyway). If a girl has a boyfriend and is flirting with you anyway, are you going to feel like you're doing something wrong? You shouldn't, since she's the only using guys as she chooses. I still see it as a dick move, it's promoting cheating as long as the other person is willing. Maybe I just have more moral scruples to this situation than most of the people in this thread, but I think if you're moving in on a girl that you know is taken, regardless of whether or not she's into it, you're a dick. Lol at people bashing him OP for dating a girl with a boyfriend... as long as the girl isn't engaged or married she's free game to chase, being GF/BF is only a course to decide whether they should marry and stay together forever or not you're only a dick if you move on a girl if she's your buddies' girl, you don't move on a friends girl Disagree. You're an asshole for promoting cheating. Look, assuming a couple is exclusive of course, if you go after a girl with a boyfriend and she had any class, she would turn you down. If you go after a girl with a boyfriend and she's fine with that, she's a whore. Her actions promote the idea that it's acceptable to cheat. Your actions of going after any girl, regardless if they are taken are not, also promotes the idea that it's acceptable to cheat. If you do that, IMO, you're an asshole. You wouldn't care much for it if it happened to you, so you shouldn't pull that crap with others; it's altruism that benefits everyone who values monogamy. Moving in on your friends girlfriend is just being an asshole to a higher degree. Congratulations for having some line you're not willing to cross. lets be real, a few decades ago, girls and guys go on dates with everyone, until they decide who they like and get married. its only in relatively recent decades that the idea of "girlfriends" and "boyfriends" come up. in our current era people can be GF/BF without even being intimately close. as long as they are GF/BF people can very easily break up and switch partners, cheating at this stage isn't as big of a deal as you and other people in this thread make it sound to be
No, I don't agree with that at all. In fact it's the opposite, decades ago, a woman would be considered easy or a louse if she had consensual sex regularly, it's only recently that the idea of recreational sex has become more acceptable, at least for women.
In terms of boyfriends and girlfriends, it works the same way now that it has always worked: You can date whomever and however many people you like until you've agreed to be exclusive to one person. When you're just dating without commitment, you're not going out, and you're not a couple, or boyfriend and girlfriend, you're simply dating. When you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you've made a commitment of exclusivity. This entire debate on cheating was made when some people stated that the OP is a bit of a douchebag for chasing a girl that has a boyfriend, that's low. I'm not suggesting that OP is a piece of trash or something, but his decision making in this situation is unscrupulous.
Argue semantics all you like, but I am of the opinion that the people here saying things like: 'Making out isn't cheating', or, 'it's not a big deal, it's not like they're married' - I highly suspect those people are hypocrites, as I strongly doubt they would feel this way if they caught their girlfriend making out and feeling up some guy at a party, it's bullshit.
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Dear gameguard :
1 - First of all ignore other advices on what is right or wrong in the matter of "dating morale". For some, hitting on a girl with a bf is being a dick, for others it's her own problem. Neither is right or wrong, we can't wish for a world where everybody fucks with anybody but if no man had to cold as stone on any girl with a boyfriend most of our dads would never have met mom and made us.
What is right in such matter is what you deeply feel is or isn't. This is my first advice for this matter and for a lot in life : "Don't give a fuck about a random moral concerns about your own life" (as long as you don't kill or mutilate anybody of course :D I think you know what I'm trying to explain).
Ask yourself then if you do feel low by what you are doing. If yes, stop immediatly. If no continue to next step.
2 - Look at the girl. About what you like first : beauty, humour, cleverness whatever. Now this was easy if I read you correctly. Now look at her default. If you see none, you are in trouble because you're blind, so look harder until you also see what you dislike : I can get she is whiny and a bit manipulative by what I see. Now listen me well, there is certainly no reason for you to be in such a shitty state for such a girl. You must admit that you can lose her and that your life won't be worse... she wasn't that special anyway.
3 - Now if you still want to date her (or I should say fuck her. After all if you just want happy friend time with her... you shouldn't have kissed and shit and told her you just want to be friends with her (sometimes this even lead to sex). First stop acting emo, it's counter productive on most girl and will just bring emo girls or girls that will later cheat on you anyway, so stop doing this shit and man up. Be still a gentleman, but with balls. What it means : - Bring her to your own world. Forget your emo stage, where you wanted to do things and tell her how you feel about what happens. Act like it didn't happen and go back doing your things and bring her along (sports, activity, TV, see your friends etc). (if you have cool friends that's very good, girls love to see the friends of somebody they date (to get clues about who they are involved with)) This will show the real you to her. Don't try too hard to make her having a good time, be like you would with your best buddy and try to do activities where you can actually touch her (not there perv !). - Stop buying her crap of : "Ho I don't know I have a bf but I like you too" (imagine whiny annoying tone here). Man up and just tell her you like her but now you can't decide for herself and go back to what you were doing. Don't sit there talking emotional with her for long (just a little here and there if necessary), it brings bad emotions in your interaction and you won't appear to herself as an attractive man. - When the moment are rights, kiss again and escalate to a more physical contact but withdraw quite quickly before her (if you can) and start again later stronger. Fact : like most women she will probably reject you at a point or another. Just chill out man and say ok I'm fine with it, resume playful activity and try another time/day. - If it ever feel hopeless because nothing is making progress, ignore her for a while and think/see/date other women in your spare time. You might even meet a great woman which you will date and the previous girl will either disapear or become your friend.
With all this, everything to do will be left for her to do, you will appear as a man, as available but not willing to be on a leash for too long either.
If it completly fails, tell yourself it's her issue for not doing her part and that there is a lot of other fish.
With regards.
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If you're serious about her: the next time she calls you to hang, say you aren't interested. Not never seeing her again, blah blah blah, nothing dramatic, just say you don't feel like it. This forces her to make a decision. If she legitimately wants you, she'll break up with her boyfriend. If she doesn't, then you know she's not as serious as she says she is and you can put it in the rear view mirror. If you do end up with her, you have to fore-accept a degree of probability that she might cheat on you, since she's already shown you it's something she's comfortable doing.
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Also, try getting her into Starcraft 2, if she makes diamond in a week, she's a keeper. If not, then..... eh.
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Well well, story of our lives.
What I did, 6 years ago in college when faced with very similar situations (come on, they're all essentially the same), when I would've been fine either with or without her, I told her - "It would be ultimately your choice. I don't want to be the 3rd wheel, so unless you break it off with him, nothing will happen (in your case, throw in "anymore") between us." Something to that effect.
Hold and behold, a few weeks later, she asked me to be her bf.
In your specific case, you can refuse to engage in anymore physical intimacy unless she makes a choice to be with you and end it with that guy. It will most likely drive her crazy and force her to make a decision. Chances are, you've already won. A weak SC2 analogy would be a 6pool on Steppes of War against a 12rax Terran that didn't wall off - you've already won.
But I have to warn you, she cheated on her bf to get with you, so she might cheat on you too. In my case, I am no longer with her (after 3 years) due to temporary long distance and a 3rd guy.
If it was up to me, I would NOT get with this type of girl again. I can continue a wall of text, but to sum it up by cheating on her bf it shows that she doesn't know what she wants and hence immature, plus a low self-esteem because she doesn't feel guilty enough to stop herself from cheating, which in my theory leads to various problems down the road. Oops I typed too much. (But I would most definitely fuck her. God was she hot.)
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On September 16 2010 11:24 rezoacken wrote: Dear gameguard :
1 - First of all ignore other advices on what is right or wrong in the matter of "dating morale". For some, hitting on a girl with a bf is being a dick, for others it's her own problem. Neither is right or wrong, we can't wish for a world where everybody fucks with anybody but if no man had to cold as stone on any girl with a boyfriend most of our dads would never have met mom and made us.
What is right in such matter is what you deeply feel is or isn't. This is my first advice for this matter and for a lot in life : "Don't give a fuck about a random moral concerns about your own life" (as long as you don't kill or mutilate anybody of course :D I think you know what I'm trying to explain).
Ask yourself then if you do feel low by what you are doing. If yes, stop immediatly. If no continue to next step.
2 - Look at the girl. About what you like first : beauty, humour, cleverness whatever. Now this was easy if I read you correctly. Now look at her default. If you see none, you are in trouble because you're blind, so look harder until you also see what you dislike : I can get she is whiny and a bit manipulative by what I see. Now listen me well, there is certainly no reason for you to be in such a shitty state for such a girl. You must admit that you can lose her and that your life won't be worse... she wasn't that special anyway.
3 - Now if you still want to date her (or I should say fuck her. After all if you just want happy friend time with her... you shouldn't have kissed and shit and told her you just want to be friends with her (sometimes this even lead to sex). First stop acting emo, it's counter productive on most girl and will just bring emo girls or girls that will later cheat on you anyway, so stop doing this shit and man up. Be still a gentleman, but with balls. What it means : - Bring her to your own world. Forget your emo stage, where you wanted to do things and tell her how you feel about what happens. Act like it didn't happen and go back doing your things and bring her along (sports, activity, TV, see your friends etc). (if you have cool friends that's very good, girls love to see the friends of somebody they date (to get clues about who they are involved with)) This will show the real you to her. Don't try too hard to make her having a good time, be like you would with your best buddy and try to do activities where you can actually touch her (not there perv !). - Stop buying her crap of : "Ho I don't know I have a bf but I like you too" (imagine whiny annoying tone here). Man up and just tell her you like her but now you can't decide for herself and go back to what you were doing. Don't sit there talking emotional with her for long (just a little here and there if necessary), it brings bad emotions in your interaction and you won't appear to herself as an attractive man. - When the moment are rights, kiss again and escalate to a more physical contact but withdraw quite quickly before her (if you can) and start again later stronger. Fact : like most women she will probably reject you at a point or another. Just chill out man and say ok I'm fine with it, resume playful activity and try another time/day. - If it ever feel hopeless because nothing is making progress, ignore her for a while and think/see/date other women in your spare time. You might even meet a great woman which you will date and the previous girl will either disapear or become your friend.
With all this, everything to do will be left for her to do, you will appear as a man, as available but not willing to be on a leash for too long either.
If it completly fails, tell yourself it's her issue for not doing her part and that there is a lot of other fish.
With regards.
^ I would like to add that this guy knows what he's talking about.
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On September 16 2010 14:07 Otakusan wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 11:24 rezoacken wrote: Dear gameguard :
1 - First of all ignore other advices on what is right or wrong in the matter of "dating morale". For some, hitting on a girl with a bf is being a dick, for others it's her own problem. Neither is right or wrong, we can't wish for a world where everybody fucks with anybody but if no man had to cold as stone on any girl with a boyfriend most of our dads would never have met mom and made us.
What is right in such matter is what you deeply feel is or isn't. This is my first advice for this matter and for a lot in life : "Don't give a fuck about a random moral concerns about your own life" (as long as you don't kill or mutilate anybody of course :D I think you know what I'm trying to explain).
Ask yourself then if you do feel low by what you are doing. If yes, stop immediatly. If no continue to next step.
2 - Look at the girl. About what you like first : beauty, humour, cleverness whatever. Now this was easy if I read you correctly. Now look at her default. If you see none, you are in trouble because you're blind, so look harder until you also see what you dislike : I can get she is whiny and a bit manipulative by what I see. Now listen me well, there is certainly no reason for you to be in such a shitty state for such a girl. You must admit that you can lose her and that your life won't be worse... she wasn't that special anyway.
3 - Now if you still want to date her (or I should say fuck her. After all if you just want happy friend time with her... you shouldn't have kissed and shit and told her you just want to be friends with her (sometimes this even lead to sex). First stop acting emo, it's counter productive on most girl and will just bring emo girls or girls that will later cheat on you anyway, so stop doing this shit and man up. Be still a gentleman, but with balls. What it means : - Bring her to your own world. Forget your emo stage, where you wanted to do things and tell her how you feel about what happens. Act like it didn't happen and go back doing your things and bring her along (sports, activity, TV, see your friends etc). (if you have cool friends that's very good, girls love to see the friends of somebody they date (to get clues about who they are involved with)) This will show the real you to her. Don't try too hard to make her having a good time, be like you would with your best buddy and try to do activities where you can actually touch her (not there perv !). - Stop buying her crap of : "Ho I don't know I have a bf but I like you too" (imagine whiny annoying tone here). Man up and just tell her you like her but now you can't decide for herself and go back to what you were doing. Don't sit there talking emotional with her for long (just a little here and there if necessary), it brings bad emotions in your interaction and you won't appear to herself as an attractive man. - When the moment are rights, kiss again and escalate to a more physical contact but withdraw quite quickly before her (if you can) and start again later stronger. Fact : like most women she will probably reject you at a point or another. Just chill out man and say ok I'm fine with it, resume playful activity and try another time/day. - If it ever feel hopeless because nothing is making progress, ignore her for a while and think/see/date other women in your spare time. You might even meet a great woman which you will date and the previous girl will either disapear or become your friend.
With all this, everything to do will be left for her to do, you will appear as a man, as available but not willing to be on a leash for too long either.
If it completly fails, tell yourself it's her issue for not doing her part and that there is a lot of other fish.
With regards. ^ I would like to add that this guy knows what he's talking about. He's on the right track, but his morals aren't up to par with his game. Advising a guy to go for a slut is bad dating advice. He should assert his value as a human being and have faith that she will mature in time. And manipulating someone to "come into my world" is suggesting that the other persons world view and value is inferior to yours. I'd rather enjoy the company of strangers and treat them as equals - meaning I respect them and expect the same back.
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On September 16 2010 08:55 saltywet wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 05:28 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 04:28 saltywet wrote:On September 16 2010 02:20 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 02:07 dudeman001 wrote:On September 16 2010 00:51 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 00:48 dudeman001 wrote: First off, nothing is your fault. If the girl is really that keen on cheating on a boyfriend she's had for 3-4 years, you can't blame yourself.
Second, let her make her own choices. Not much sense getting in a relationship with her if she goes into it not sure what she's doing. Let her sort what she really wants and plan from there. Can you specify what you mean when you say nothing is the OP's fault? What about his role in this girl cheating on her boyfriend? It's not the OP's fault because in the situation, he's just a guy who's attracted to a girl. Yeah she's taken, but if she had the decency to not cheat on her boyfriend there'd be no issues here (unless our OP made a move anyway). If a girl has a boyfriend and is flirting with you anyway, are you going to feel like you're doing something wrong? You shouldn't, since she's the only using guys as she chooses. I still see it as a dick move, it's promoting cheating as long as the other person is willing. Maybe I just have more moral scruples to this situation than most of the people in this thread, but I think if you're moving in on a girl that you know is taken, regardless of whether or not she's into it, you're a dick. Lol at people bashing him OP for dating a girl with a boyfriend... as long as the girl isn't engaged or married she's free game to chase, being GF/BF is only a course to decide whether they should marry and stay together forever or not you're only a dick if you move on a girl if she's your buddies' girl, you don't move on a friends girl Disagree. You're an asshole for promoting cheating. Look, assuming a couple is exclusive of course, if you go after a girl with a boyfriend and she had any class, she would turn you down. If you go after a girl with a boyfriend and she's fine with that, she's a whore. Her actions promote the idea that it's acceptable to cheat. Your actions of going after any girl, regardless if they are taken are not, also promotes the idea that it's acceptable to cheat. If you do that, IMO, you're an asshole. You wouldn't care much for it if it happened to you, so you shouldn't pull that crap with others; it's altruism that benefits everyone who values monogamy. Moving in on your friends girlfriend is just being an asshole to a higher degree. Congratulations for having some line you're not willing to cross. lets be real, a few decades ago, girls and guys go on dates with everyone, until they decide who they like and get married. its only in relatively recent decades that the idea of "girlfriends" and "boyfriends" come up. in our current era people can be GF/BF without even being intimately close. as long as they are GF/BF people can very easily break up and switch partners, cheating at this stage isn't as big of a deal as you and other people in this thread make it sound to be
lol where did you read this???
y'all got some fucked views on relationships if lying in bed drunk with someone and making out isn't cheating
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