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so im studying med in the philippines (been here like 3 months). I met this girl whose friends with my best friend here. They would come over to my room alot to study, drink, or just chill. We kinda hit it off nicely and it was all good for a short bit. The problem is she has a boyfriend in another country who shes been dating with for 3-4 years or osmething. This guy is coming here in a month or so to be with her.
One week when there was exams almost every day, she slept over at my place like every time. Alot of snuggling lead to kissing and what not.
"I really like u.. Why do u have to have a boyfriend . ." "I like you, but i have a boyfriend..." something like that.
One night, we were drinking and kissing at my place. Then my friend came over. She told me she wants to go out. So I go to the club with her. We dance and drink some more and its all good. We kiss really intensely before entering back into my room. So my friend (whose been telling me that I have to bang her or I lose my chance) leaves.
Knowing time is running out and feeling desparate, I tried to go for it. But she wasnt ready to go all the way. She left and was mad for a while. I felt like total shit and drank a shitton of beer.
I said sorry the next day and she was hurt telling me im just like any other guy. But she still has feelings for me. Although it cooled down a bit she still came over and we drank together and shit. I was a bit confused as to how i should treat her at this point so i just kinda chilled out and let her initiate the touching and stuff.
Now one day we watched a movie and drank some beers at my place and after the movie, she suddenly left. I was like what the hell? Next night she came over and told me that she was so close to just taking off my clothes that she had to leave.
After we had that talk, we were drinking.. "I feel like im running out of time." "me too" she said.
Anyways later when were about to sleep she sits on the bed for a cig with her back to me. She was crying/holding back tears. So at this point, I realize that she must be having a hard time too. I feel like ive been selfish only thinking about how im gonna most likely get hurt through all this (which is probably how its gona turn out T_T).
I let her alone for a bit then hugged her and comforted her. After alot of sobbing she said "I dont wanna lose you. I dont want you to hate me." "I won't ever hate you. I promise." "Dont promise." "I promise." "Dont."
So she made up her mind now. Even though this hurt, I really did mean those words. I mean I knew this was coming from pretty early on in the relationship.
In the morning I was a bit down... and she felt it and cried a bit more. After some more comforting, she left.
I was thinking, 'I will just be there for her.' 'I just want her to be happy.' 'If shes happy, I can get hurt a bit its ok.' Yea its emo shit. Listening to korean ballads all my life probably had something to do with these thoughts lol.
Anyways after dinner the next day she told me before i left that she will back off slowly. Even though I knew it was coming and I knew it was inevitable, I felt really down when I heard her say it. After many nights of drinking, I kinda came to accept it.
But.... I dont know if she really is happy with the boyfriend. Thats what bugs me. She says shes happy and she loves him, but she never seemed cheerful talking to him on the phone. Almost never. Most of the time they argue. It feels like shes been with him for so long so shes comfortable with him. She knows him well. She can depend on him. She loves him... but is she happy? Shes afraid of change. Or thats what I think at least...
Last night she came over to teach me something for school. So after she was done teaching me, I left to get some more beers. I came back to see her talking to her bf on the phone. Probably the most serious arguement ive seen yet. I dont understand the language so Im not sure but i got this odd feeling they were fighting because she was over at my place (I could be totally off on this though).
After a long time she through the phone down and was almost crying, trying to study. I wanted to hug her but it didnt feel right. I was just watching her from the other bed and it really hurt to see her sad. I mean I was conflicted of course. I would like to make her mine of course. But at that moment I just felt really bad to see her like that.
So thats about it. Present day. I guess the reason I wrote this long ass shit was for some opinions/advice on how to proceed... I mean, just cutting her off because its hurting me is probably hard because 1) she doesn't want to lose me as a ..whatever i am. And I want her to be happy. 2) We see each other everyday at school so it would be awkward. 3) Call me sad, but I do enjoy her company. Although it wont be like before. 4) Off chance they break up?
I will just stand by her if she needs me and try to be good to her. Whether this is healthy, I dunno. But I made a promise and I intend to keep it.
   
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You want her She wants you (sort of) She wants to be happy She cheated on her boyfriend Boyfriend finds out, they break up She gets with you ??? profit
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Sounds like what's gonna happen to me sometime in the future.
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I say confront her. Just ask her if she's happy with her boyfriend. Try to do this as a friend tough, not as a potential new boyfriend.
Worst case senario she gets mad at you, just like the first time, but she will probably forgive you and it will atleast clear soem space between you. Best case she comes to the conclusion that it's not working with her boyfriend and you get another shot.
For what it's worth, I enjoyed reading your story
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Good luck. It's a tough situation, of course. Just wait it out.. Be there for her. You know her better than we know her, so we can't give much advice.
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she sounds like a real keeper, go for it you guys will be happy FOREVER! on a more serious note what makes you think when you guys are together she wouldn't just do the same shit to you?
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to be straight, i would never touch a girl with a bf unless they are about to break up...
1/ because i dont want to be a jerk who steal somebody gf... i was really sad when my 1st gf start dating again after we broke up so i know how the guy must feel. 2/ If she already has a bf and she still making out with you, she is either a slut or lying to her bf. If she is a slut, im sorry but if you think she is lying to her bf bc of you.... what make you think that she wont do it again when u guys get together? 3/ you said you have been there for 3 months and the girl willing to break up with her bf to get together with you?.... are you kidding me? 3 months? my 1st relationship lasted for 5 years and 2nd is almost 4 years... 4/ her bf is oversea and willing to come back just to be with his gf... believe me, that means he CARES about the relationship... and when the guy care, most of the time its the girl's fault...
just a warning man... The girl has been in a relationship for years and willing to drop out for a guy she knew for 3 months... Not worthed!
But if you think you guys are suit for each other, go for it... good luck buddy
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You're suffering from a clear case of what we call "scarcity mentality."
Why do need this particular girl? There are literally thousands of women who are single and willing to fondle your genitals and spread their legs for you within probably a 2-3 kilometer radius from where you are at any point. I would never ruin someones relationship, because one girl particular girl isn't important to me.
I'd drop it and move on, because she's going to feel like shit because she cheated on her boyfriend and won't feel very good about that, causing problems in your relationship in the future.
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She seems like she's pretty high maintenance tbh. Just be friends for a while I guess.
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Whatever you do, don't be the one who breaks them up. You will feel like shit for the rest of your relationship/life, and if things don't work out between the two of you, she'll have an additional reason to hate you.
If it just happens that they break up (since they're already arguing a lot), give her a buffer period to settle her emotions, and after that you're free to date her guilt-free.
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On September 15 2010 23:49 SolHeiM wrote: You're suffering from a clear case of what we call "scarcity mentality."
Why do need this particular girl? There are literally thousands of women who are single and willing to fondle your genitals and spread their legs for you within probably a 2-3 kilometer radius from where you are at any point. I would never ruin someones relationship, because one girl particular girl isn't important to me.
I'd drop it and move on, because she's going to feel like shit because she cheated on her boyfriend and won't feel very good about that, causing problems in your relationship in the future.
This guy pretty much nailed it. You need to burn that bridge. Move on. Find some other girl that actually reciprocates your feelings, and is actually worth your time. As it is, she's the one being selfish by leading you on, and keeping her other boyfriend around at the same time.
Fuck that.
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On September 15 2010 23:49 SolHeiM wrote: You're suffering from a clear case of what we call "scarcity mentality."
Why do need this particular girl? There are literally thousands of women who are single and willing to fondle your genitals and spread their legs for you within probably a 2-3 kilometer radius from where you are at any point. I would never ruin someones relationship, because one girl particular girl isn't important to me.
I'd drop it and move on, because she's going to feel like shit because she cheated on her boyfriend and won't feel very good about that, causing problems in your relationship in the future.
meh.. just sort of happend. What can i do though I really like her.
But I get your other point. It irks me that im doing this. Thats why im willing to just wait it out and see. Who knows maybe Ill get over it after a while.
To someone who posted earlier. Well she was attracted to me yea, but shes not gona drop her bf of 4 years for someone who she knew for 2 months.
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She's a drama Queen, a tease, and loose.
I wish some of the whiners who post these young love blogs on TeenLiquid could walk a few miles in someone with real problems shoes. I've got it hard, but it doesn't compare to some of the problems out there so I suck it in and get on with it. Instead of writing a 30 paragraph thread on here I think you should have took a deep breath, manned-up and sorted the situation out one way or another. Easier said than done? Maybe, but c'mon man look her in the eyes - tell her how you feel and that you don't think you can be just a friend.....don't let it end in some uncertain way, show her who's boss!
...oh yeah I hope her boyfriend finds out, finds you, and punches your head in too. Nothing personal though mate but as a faithful father of 2 things like this piss me off
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I want baller in this thread with his charts
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To be honest, it looks like you made the promise for your own selfish reasons. She doesn't want you to promise something, she wants you to man up and show that you're different. I think you showed the opposite by clinging to this girl and showing her that you're a scared guy who can't take a girl leaving him. I feel you bro but you can't show weakness like that. From what I see, you actually hurt both her and yourself.
Iono man, open confrontation just makes you look desperate. Regardless of whether you end up with her or if you keep her as a friend, keep things fun with her and be yourself. Don't make it too emotional and be open to meeting new girls.
Anyways yeah. the bf thing is a bit odd, and I don't want to give you false hopes, but either way you'll be a happier man by not being too attached and becoming stronger. Good luck.
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u need to guard ur game better
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I think being a nice guy who understands her "difficult" situation is the wrong approach. You need to be decisive and somewhat of a dick in order to resolve this. Or the bird will fly forever and you will be friends for sometime and then you will become distant and forget about each other (without getting laid and having any sort of fun).
And if you zoom out and look at it from a 3rd person view, this chick is a bitch. She's is almost cheating on her boyfriend while playing around with YOUR feelings. She appears to be in a hard spot to handle but in reality it's only a girl who doesn't know what the fuck she is doing. She is playing games with two men at the same time and on top of that she makes you feel guilty too. Give me a break.. this "I want you but I can't have you" bullshit is just cliche and meaningless.
I've been in this kind of situation 3 times and the this is what I concluded my friend. The 1st time I was young and sensitive and got hurt really bad because the girl never breaks up if you are like that. And the other 2 times, I was the cool guy who doesn't give a fuck and they both broke up eventually (after we had sex constantly off-course). Everyone happy and honest.
Good luck.
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On September 15 2010 23:46 deo.deo wrote: she sounds like a real keeper, go for it you guys will be happy FOREVER! on a more serious note what makes you think when you guys are together she wouldn't just do the same shit to you?
You win the United Carpenters Hammering Award for hitting the nail on the head.
Sounds like the girl described in OP will screw anyone that shows her some attention, meaning she lacks confidence and direction in her life. Not a bad thing, it's a phase and she needs to find herself before committing to a relationship. She probably has a third guy on FB/MSN whatever, and there will be more until she decides to grow up. My advice: don't touch her even if she's single. You obviously have feelings for her and when she double crosses you you'll be drinking a lot more beer.
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Believe it or not i actually had this same thing happen, Not exactly the same but VERY similar i feel your pain bro >_>
in the end u gota just realize bitches are crazy ur better without >_<
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^ yeah man she's not the nice girl you make her out to be. Kasumimi hath spoken and his words pretty much sum up the solution. A side note; often girls don't want to break up with the bf not because they "love the bf" (which is bullshit, love lasts only for a year in terms of chemistry and after that it's up to a mutual effort to keep the feelings going) but because they don't want to be left alone. I know lots of girls who have bfs just as a "placeholder" until they find someone better. pretty self-serving if you ask me, but that's how people are.
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Don't date a girl who cheats, even if it's with you. Because before you know it, she is going to be doing it to you- and then you are going to feel like shit. She had a bf so she should have been hands off. If she wanted you that badly, then she should have broken it off with the other guy...
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I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea of you moving in on someone's gf, no matter how you feel about it now, 10 years down the road, will you be able to look yourself in the mirror?
also, if she can leave him for you, what's to stop her leaving you for someone else. could be a potential pitfall later.
plenty other fish in the sea, and as a med student your "qualifications" seem pretty good.
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Dude, life is too damn short to really mess with all this crap or alike. Just do whatever makes YOU happy and stick with it, so when you look back you can feel good about yourself.
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that girls situation with her bf sounds a little like my someone i know.. whenever they meet, they just argue but for some reason they didn't break up yet. But i am quite confident they will break up in the near future. i think the times where people stayed together despite all hate just to mary because its the thing society expects it form you is over by now. So after reading your blog i think you can feel pretty confident that this relation will end some time soon.
I do not know how long people last in such a state, for that person of mine its about two months now i think, so it might take a while, but my guess is it will still happen. So the question remaining is, if the situation for your relation with her has changed until that point or not. You might try to shortcut it and think about it this way: If she was to argue with her bf for another 8 months or something, and then break up, think hard about if believe that both, you and her, would give your relation a chance. If you don't think, its gonna happen then, i think it's going to be a lot easier for you to let go already now. And if you think you (plural you) will give it a shot then still, well then you have something to hope for (in which case you should rethink this exact thing maybe once a month to not waste too much time if the situation eventually changes).
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Ok dude, forget about it, if she can do this to her bf, she can do this to you. Also i think she's a drama queen.
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should have steered clear... why would you snuggle+kiss when you know she has a bf? i'd just let her go if i were you. seems like more effort than its worth v__v
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Hey man where do you live? we got a meet up at sept 18 so if you can come at taft, la salle college that will be awesome!
PS with regards to the topic, I'd slap/punch both of you guys for backstabbing me while I was away. It's much better not to hit on a girl with a BF unless you're really a jerk. Well if her boy isn't that loyal so c'est la vie.
Anyway if you're currently living here in Manila or Quezon City, much better if you meet up some of the Ph players (like myself on Sept 18, this coming saturday) so that you'd have a few more baller friends!
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Couple points I'd like to make. Firstly, it's a dick move you were pulling by making out with a girl whom you know has a boyfriend. If another guy was doing that with your girlfriend, you would be pissed, don't be so selfish. Whenever a girl cheats it's not just the other persons fault, sometimes people act like their own boyfriend/girlfriend isn't to blame, or act like they were coerced into cheating, but both people deserve blame.
Secondly, why would you want to go out with a girl who you know is willing to cheat on her boyfriend? She admitted to you that she was close to having sex with you, and you more or less stated that you two had made out and felt each other up (assuming). I wouldn't be able to deal with that personally, if she did that to her old boyfriend, who is to say she wouldn't do that to you. Think about it, the right move is to forget about her.
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NEVER LET GO JACK, NEVER LET GO
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First off, nothing is your fault. If the girl is really that keen on cheating on a boyfriend she's had for 3-4 years, you can't blame yourself.
Second, let her make her own choices. Not much sense getting in a relationship with her if she goes into it not sure what she's doing. Let her sort what she really wants and plan from there.
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You can do it ! you got your needs and if she is happier with you than with his BF what she probably is so why not ?
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On September 16 2010 00:48 dudeman001 wrote: First off, nothing is your fault. If the girl is really that keen on cheating on a boyfriend she's had for 3-4 years, you can't blame yourself.
Second, let her make her own choices. Not much sense getting in a relationship with her if she goes into it not sure what she's doing. Let her sort what she really wants and plan from there.
Can you specify what you mean when you say nothing is the OP's fault? What about his role in this girl cheating on her boyfriend?
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All I'm gonna say is you guys must REEK of beer.
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Calgary25969 Posts
If nothing else, I enjoyed reading this. I have no advice.
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Just tell her exactly how you feel about her, and then tell her that if her and her boyfriend doesn't work out and your still single you would be interested in her, but for the time being you don't want to see her much anymore, severing contact because you like her and if she is not going to leave her boyfriend then there's not much point spending time together because clearly you both don't have enough self control to make a friendship work, her especially.
And then move on with your life.
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Soo... she can't have both you and him. If you want a relationship with her, and she doesn't want one with you, you shouldn't just always be there for her. This is especially true since her boyfriend is long-distance. She'll be able to just drag both of you along and you'll be stuck in some retarded limbo kind of place where you feel like she likes you but then you feel like she really doesn't and she's in all sorts of a mess and who knows what.
Solution: You should stop hanging out with her, do NOT be there for her. She needs to realize that she can only have you or him, because right now even though she's not "dating" you she's practically doing that and having the other guy. So she needs to either realize that he is more important and she shouldn't fuck around with other guys (or at least that you won't be the boy toy she can fuck around with while having a boyfriend and then just throw you away when he's around) or she needs to realize that even though she wants the comfort and security of that other guy she's been with forever it's really over and she's just not accepting it, and she wants to be with you now.
Don't let her have it both ways, because then she'll just take both, feel really shitty, and keep doing that and it's not fair to you or her boyfriend.
People like to keep their options open, so even though she feels like shit right now she'll likely just drag this on because she can't decide, especially if she's been with the guy forever and at some point she loved him and she might still think she loves him but things are going shitty and they argue all the time and then there's you, who might be really fun to be with and hang out with and you can be close and physical and she misses that because her boyfriend is long-distance.
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with all the recent girl-guy problems coming up on tl.net i feel like the next project tl.net should step into is perhaps a romance comedy movie or soap
edit: either way good read for me too so keep them coming ^^
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On September 16 2010 00:55 HuK wrote: edit: either way good read for me too so keep them coming ^^
Lmao.
For the sake of the OP, I hope these don't keep coming.
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On September 16 2010 00:03 Gridlock wrote:She's a drama Queen, a tease, and loose. I wish some of the whiners who post these young love blogs on TeenLiquid could walk a few miles in someone with real problems shoes. I've got it hard, but it doesn't compare to some of the problems out there so I suck it in and get on with it. Instead of writing a 30 paragraph thread on here I think you should have took a deep breath, manned-up and sorted the situation out one way or another. Easier said than done? Maybe, but c'mon man look her in the eyes - tell her how you feel and that you don't think you can be just a friend.....don't let it end in some uncertain way, show her who's boss! ...oh yeah I hope her boyfriend finds out, finds you, and punches your head in too. Nothing personal though mate but as a faithful father of 2 things like this piss me off  I laughed so hard.
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Russian Federation4447 Posts
You do realize if she did this with her boyfriend she may do it with you.
But you may be able to salvage some pussy before leaving. Get her to breakup with boyfriend or else stop seeing her.
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You guys are so harsh. I feel bad for this guy.
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that sucks. to proceed, nut up. tell her "i dont experience things partially. we can do something with this. if you walk out right now you'll still have my highest respect, but you're cute and we could have some fun."
be direct and honest about who you are and what you want. either yes or no, if its a no escort her out. if its a yes, do some work.
and never make promises about the future, especially ones you can't logically make. make promises about the present which you CAN keep.
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Seems like you're both sensitive and caring people, so good luck.
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i've gone through almost the exact same thing. ultimately we fucked and then she broke up with her bf, and then we dated for a year, and then i dumped her :/
my two cents, if nobody's getting married, it's all good
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On September 16 2010 00:59 Pokebunny wrote: You guys are so harsh. I feel bad for this guy. Hey poke i think you are a little too young for this ;p jk
back on topic, I definitely wouldn't go off making out with girls with BFs (even if they are far away). In fact, I am pretty much surrounded with them being in an overly female dominant program. It almost feels like a betrayal to the girl and a major dick move to the guy, it just isn't worth it. Who knows, I've never seen long distance relationships work out so you may get your chance if you really want the girl.
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On September 16 2010 01:08 Elegance wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 00:59 Pokebunny wrote: You guys are so harsh. I feel bad for this guy. Hey poke i think you are a little too young for this ;p jk back on topic, I definitely wouldn't go off making out with girls with BFs (even if they are far away). In fact, I am pretty much surrounded with them being in an overly female dominant program. It almost feels like a betrayal to the girl and a major dick move to the guy, it just isn't worth it. Who knows, I've never seen long distance relationships work out so you may get your chance if you really want the girl. I have no problems making out with a girl who isn't married or isn't going out with a guy related to me in a way I'd want to maintain the relationship. you dont get chances or wait for them, you make them. the best choice you can make right now is the one which will give you the best memory
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On September 16 2010 00:59 Pokebunny wrote: You guys are so harsh. I feel bad for this guy.
What do you think her boyfriend is thinking
But its okay, teamliquid supports cheating as long as a blog as written about it
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On September 16 2010 01:16 ZlaSHeR wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 00:59 Pokebunny wrote: You guys are so harsh. I feel bad for this guy. What do you think her boyfriend is thinking But its okay, teamliquid supports cheating as long as a blog as written about it True :D
But imo the cheating/having a bf is the girls problem to figure out. If she asks him for help he helps, otherwise stay out of it.
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I agree, if she asks for help, but think about the burden that SHE is under with the conflicting emotions and think about how her boyfriend would react given that he finds out in a bad manner. Don't go around fucking her because she has mixed emotions and try forcing her out of that relationship, if its going to end it'll end, and she'll come straight to the OP, if it doesn't end, then that means something there is going right.
But I'm pretty sick of all the guys on TL in this situation and all the advice going around to help her cheat on her bf, bang her, then throw her aside if she doesn't break up with him immediately
give it some damn time., she probably needs that more than anything.
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you need to reverse and time-warp out of there, buddy
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On September 16 2010 01:30 GGQ wrote: you need to reverse and time-warp out of there, buddy
i cant use time anchor for the life of me
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Hey, don't worry, I feel you bro. Overwhelmed by the crippling fear that you can't do better than this broad? Hey, you might be right, I’ve seen it happen before, a guy thinks “hey I can do better than this, I have dignity and self-respect. I don’t need her.” Wrong. That guy was ugly and he made the biggest mistake of his life. I don’t want you to do the same. These people don’t know you, so don’t listen to their feel-good Oprah advice, you know you need a regular schedule of getting butt so that you can remain socially relevant to your peers and not drown in the deep, smothering, infinitely black waters of being alone.
Everyone here’s giving you “hallmark channel”, but I’m gonna throw at you some “Discovery channel”. When two dudes in nature are gravitating towards the same chick, they don’t consult Dr. Phil or teamliquid or their favorite Nicholas Sparks movie adaptation, they get down to business. There’s 2 possible routes: fighting or peacocking. You ever seen those goats just ramming their fuckin heads at each other? Be prepared for that, except with fists (or maybe heads). Option 2 is to bring some sexy back and hit her with a piece of the magic.
Obviously you don’t want to fight this guy if he’s bigger than you. Maybe he’s on the juice and could punch your nose out the back of your head. Maybe he’s a troubled stranger with a shady past and nothing left to lose. Basically, don’t fight him unless you have an overwhelming advantage and it will be an easy victory. Don’t overdo it though, because if you start roughing the kid up when he’s on the ground the chick’s emotional hard-coding is gonna make her want to help and mother the weak one. All you want to do is exercise some physical prowess and render him immobile and stupid looking, but remember: only if he’s much smaller and weaker than you (also, if you do engange he does start to win, tell him you’re gay and he’ll be charged with a hate crime if he assaults you, great escape plan).
If you’re not going to fight, then you’ve got to peacock. You’ve got to show this chick why you’re better in every way than this guy. Start off by only referring to him using words like “bozo”, “dweeb” or “pointdexter”. Use every opportunity to make him look stupid, and frequently make subtle remarks about his ambiguous sexuality. If he looks like he works out, ball him things like “meathead”, “juicer” or “hulktard”. If he looks nerdy then call him things like “Screech” or “Urkel”. When you hang out together, excuse yourself to go to the gym then make threatening phone calls to his cell phone where you disguise your voice with one of those voice changers and say things like, “This is the police, you’re gonna die now faggot!” or “Do you know what we do to little pieces of fish like you in the bighouse? That ass is mine in 14 days.” This will serve to confuse and scare him, making him seem nervous and jittery while you’re cool hand Luke. Start calling his room at all hours of the night, waking him up and psyching him out. This campaign of psychological warfare will take its toll, and pretty soon he’ll be a walking mess.
Start making references to other girls you’re gonna take out, then make up fantastical stories about how amazing your dates were while she’s stuck babysitting this bag of nerves. Something like, “Yeah, it was really magical. We went to this little Italian place by the bay and they put us out on the honeymoon table under the stars. We were just staring into each other’s eyes when John Mayer came over to us and said we looked so happy that he wanted to play an impromptu set of romantic hits for us. One of the old men came over to tell us how happy he was for us when he started choking on some of the fantastic meatballs we were all eating. I hopped up and gave him the Heimlich and saved his life, and to thank me he’s flying us out to stay in his villa in Tuscany next month for free. I’m not going to call myself a hero, but that was their word for me. It was a pretty good night.”
There are plenty more avenues to pursue until you break this guy. Feel free to try some of the following: call his work as “US Marshall Mike Dexter” and tell them you’re looking for an escaped sex offender, giving the other guy’s name. Try to sound like a girl and leave voicemails on both his and her phone demanding a paternity test and thanking him for hepatitis. The possibilities here are endless.
As you can see, getting girls is easy. Good luck!
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
My advice is get some beer, talk to her and be all "baby, the sun and moon rise and fall on the beauty that is your eyes" and then drink/kiss. After she replies with something (I imagine) like "if only I ... *gasp*" and then you go "what is it? What holds thy tongue so?" but of course she just sits there with her bare back to you sobbing (you can tell because of the rise and fall of her slender shoulders). After drinking the beer you leave to go get more beer but come back to find she has TURNED TOWARDS YOU and you drop the beer which melodramatically falls to the floor smashing into shards and IN THE SHARDS you can see you two making love while drinking beer SHE WENT AND GOT SLIGHTLY FASTER.
After making sweet love and pouring beer on each other you guys drink some more and kiss intensely but then she cries because she has dishonored her family. So you break into a martial arts montage in the backyard which ends with kicking a tree over as sweat shoots off your bare chest.
Seems pretty obvious what needs to happen.
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+ Show Spoiler +On September 16 2010 01:42 JackMcCoy wrote: Hey, don't worry, I feel you bro. Overwhelmed by the crippling fear that you can't do better than this broad? Hey, you might be right, I’ve seen it happen before, a guy thinks “hey I can do better than this, I have dignity and self-respect. I don’t need her.” Wrong. That guy was ugly and he made the biggest mistake of his life. I don’t want you to do the same. These people don’t know you, so don’t listen to their feel-good Oprah advice, you know you need a regular schedule of getting butt so that you can remain socially relevant to your peers and not drown in the deep, smothering, infinitely black waters of being alone.
Everyone here’s giving you “hallmark channel”, but I’m gonna throw at you some “Discovery channel”. When two dudes in nature are gravitating towards the same chick, they don’t consult Dr. Phil or teamliquid or their favorite Nicholas Sparks movie adaptation, they get down to business. There’s 2 possible routes: fighting or peacocking. You ever seen those goats just ramming their fuckin heads at each other? Be prepared for that, except with fists (or maybe heads). Option 2 is to bring some sexy back and hit her with a piece of the magic.
Obviously you don’t want to fight this guy if he’s bigger than you. Maybe he’s on the juice and could punch your nose out the back of your head. Maybe he’s a troubled stranger with a shady past and nothing left to lose. Basically, don’t fight him unless you have an overwhelming advantage and it will be an easy victory. Don’t overdo it though, because if you start roughing the kid up when he’s on the ground the chick’s emotional hard-coding is gonna make her want to help and mother the weak one. All you want to do is exercise some physical prowess and render him immobile and stupid looking, but remember: only if he’s much smaller and weaker than you (also, if you do engange he does start to win, tell him you’re gay and he’ll be charged with a hate crime if he assaults you, great escape plan).
If you’re not going to fight, then you’ve got to peacock. You’ve got to show this chick why you’re better in every way than this guy. Start off by only referring to him using words like “bozo”, “dweeb” or “pointdexter”. Use every opportunity to make him look stupid, and frequently make subtle remarks about his ambiguous sexuality. If he looks like he works out, ball him things like “meathead”, “juicer” or “hulktard”. If he looks nerdy then call him things like “Screech” or “Urkel”. When you hang out together, excuse yourself to go to the gym then make threatening phone calls to his cell phone where you disguise your voice with one of those voice changers and say things like, “This is the police, you’re gonna die now faggot!” or “Do you know what we do to little pieces of fish like you in the bighouse? That ass is mine in 14 days.” This will serve to confuse and scare him, making him seem nervous and jittery while you’re cool hand Luke. Start calling his room at all hours of the night, waking him up and psyching him out. This campaign of psychological warfare will take its toll, and pretty soon he’ll be a walking mess.
Start making references to other girls you’re gonna take out, then make up fantastical stories about how amazing your dates were while she’s stuck babysitting this bag of nerves. Something like, “Yeah, it was really magical. We went to this little Italian place by the bay and they put us out on the honeymoon table under the stars. We were just staring into each other’s eyes when John Mayer came over to us and said we looked so happy that he wanted to play an impromptu set of romantic hits for us. One of the old men came over to tell us how happy he was for us when he started choking on some of the fantastic meatballs we were all eating. I hopped up and gave him the Heimlich and saved his life, and to thank me he’s flying us out to stay in his villa in Tuscany next month for free. I’m not going to call myself a hero, but that was their word for me. It was a pretty good night.”
There are plenty more avenues to pursue until you break this guy. Feel free to try some of the following: call his work as “US Marshall Mike Dexter” and tell them you’re looking for an escaped sex offender, giving the other guy’s name. Try to sound like a girl and leave voicemails on both his and her phone demanding a paternity test and thanking him for hepatitis. The possibilities here are endless.
As you can see, getting girls is easy. Good luck!
what the fuck i just read.
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You made the mistake going for a girl that already has a boyfriend pretending to be the "good guy" which you aren't else you wouldn't make her cheat in the first place.
Make up your mind what you want to do before you engage in silly mind games with the opposite sex.
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The game is more fun when there is a goalie guarding the net.
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She'll cheat on you too. GG NO RE
Move on.
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i went through the exact same thing in first year. Cept, I won and got the girl. Became the biggest headache of my life so far. For me, it was like playing to win. If I get her, I win. If I don't get her, I lose. I like to win. But after I won, I realized that the trophy (her) wasn't as great as I thought it would be. I completely ignored the fact that she was able to cheat on her bf. That could happen to me! She turned out to be a crazy mofo with serious issues so I dumped her afterwards. But the hit I took from dealing with all this crap showed on my transcript. You don't want a relationship built on so much frikken drama. It's a big headache and 9 times out of 10 its not worth it.
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Let her go and if she keeps coming back to you then go for it. But remember that she can cheat on you too.
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On September 16 2010 01:46 {88}iNcontroL wrote: My advice is get some beer, talk to her and be all "baby, the sun and moon rise and fall on the beauty that is your eyes" and then drink/kiss. After she replies with something (I imagine) like "if only I ... *gasp*" and then you go "what is it? What holds thy tongue so?" but of course she just sits there with her bare back to you sobbing (you can tell because of the rise and fall of her slender shoulders). After drinking the beer you leave to go get more beer but come back to find she has TURNED TOWARDS YOU and you drop the beer which melodramatically falls to the floor smashing into shards and IN THE SHARDS you can see you two making love while drinking beer SHE WENT AND GOT SLIGHTLY FASTER.
After making sweet love and pouring beer on each other you guys drink some more and kiss intensely but then she cries because she has dishonored her family. So you break into a martial arts montage in the backyard which ends with kicking a tree over as sweat shoots off your bare chest.
Seems pretty obvious what needs to happen.
god damn incontrol you are awesome hahah
OP, don't do it! Don't be a homewrecker! What're you gonna tell your kids when they ask you how you met mommy? "Well kids, I made her cheat on her boyfriend over a period of several years! And now go forth and be like me!"
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she has a boyfriend and you already did something with her. Forget about her.. make her jealous by getting another girl and when she confronts you say you really wanted to be with her. ..
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On September 16 2010 00:27 johanngrunt wrote: I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea of you moving in on someone's gf, no matter how you feel about it now, 10 years down the road, will you be able to look yourself in the mirror?
also, if she can leave him for you, what's to stop her leaving you for someone else. could be a potential pitfall later.
plenty other fish in the sea, and as a med student your "qualifications" seem pretty good.
Are you serious?
It's just GF/BF crap, not engaged or married. Give me a break.
My advice though is to go far away, she isn't worth the headache, they rarely ever are. She's just using you as emotional baggage anyway. Either tell her to dump the old boyfriend and be with you or tell her to go fuck herself.
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On September 16 2010 01:57 Necosarius wrote: Let her go and if she keeps coming back to you then go for it. But remember that she can cheat on you too. This is bad advice. When I was a kid I had a bird, and some old man told me that stupid phrase, "If you love something, you've got to let it go." Well, I opened the cage and let it outside, and it flew across the street and straight into a plate glass window, breaking its neck. I don't think it's coming back.
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Spam her choke, it's what you do best noob 
On a more serious note either go all in or leave her alone, being stuck in the middle of things is just an unnecessary burden on both of you.
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On September 16 2010 00:51 Salv wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 00:48 dudeman001 wrote: First off, nothing is your fault. If the girl is really that keen on cheating on a boyfriend she's had for 3-4 years, you can't blame yourself.
Second, let her make her own choices. Not much sense getting in a relationship with her if she goes into it not sure what she's doing. Let her sort what she really wants and plan from there. Can you specify what you mean when you say nothing is the OP's fault? What about his role in this girl cheating on her boyfriend?
It's not the OP's fault because in the situation, he's just a guy who's attracted to a girl. Yeah she's taken, but if she had the decency to not cheat on her boyfriend there'd be no issues here (unless our OP made a move anyway). If a girl has a boyfriend and is flirting with you anyway, are you going to feel like you're doing something wrong? You shouldn't, since she's the only using guys as she chooses.
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On September 16 2010 02:07 dudeman001 wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 00:51 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 00:48 dudeman001 wrote: First off, nothing is your fault. If the girl is really that keen on cheating on a boyfriend she's had for 3-4 years, you can't blame yourself.
Second, let her make her own choices. Not much sense getting in a relationship with her if she goes into it not sure what she's doing. Let her sort what she really wants and plan from there. Can you specify what you mean when you say nothing is the OP's fault? What about his role in this girl cheating on her boyfriend? It's not the OP's fault because in the situation, he's just a guy who's attracted to a girl. Yeah she's taken, but if she had the decency to not cheat on her boyfriend there'd be no issues here (unless our OP made a move anyway). If a girl has a boyfriend and is flirting with you anyway, are you going to feel like you're doing something wrong? You shouldn't, since she's the only using guys as she chooses.
I still see it as a dick move, it's promoting cheating as long as the other person is willing. Maybe I just have more moral scruples to this situation than most of the people in this thread, but I think if you're moving in on a girl that you know is taken, regardless of whether or not she's into it, you're a dick.
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She's being selfish. She wants her boyfriend and she wants to keep you close - yet she doesn't take into consideration the impact this situation has on you. Plus a girl who is willing to risk a 3+ year relationship is not someone you want to mingle with - who says she can't do the same to you? To me - all signs lead to leaving.
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On September 15 2010 23:25 gameguard wrote:
Now one day we watched a movie and drank some beers at my place and after the movie, she suddenly left. I was like what the hell? Next night she came over and told me that she was so close to just taking off my clothes that she had to leave. it.
She obviously wants sex... who cares about the long distance boyfriend you don't even know if she really likes or not. She is obviously thinking about cheating on him so might as well be with you.
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ur story made me sad  I hope you are going to find a proper solution... good luck with that!
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On September 16 2010 02:25 Rinrun wrote: She's being selfish. She wants her boyfriend and she wants to keep you close - yet she doesn't take into consideration the impact this situation has on you. Plus a girl who is willing to risk a 3+ year relationship is not someone you want to mingle with - who says she can't do the same to you? To me - all signs lead to leaving.
To be honest, i would take this advice, or atleast listen it.
I guess, She's not sure does she want you or the guy elsewhere, so hes playing with you and trying to figure out.
I would chill the fuck down and move on. If something happens with them, you can see where that goes.
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the only way you're getting out of this without some bad shit happening is if you can accept the fact that she won't be yours. then you can make her into your friend with benefits. you are already 90% there, you're just being too scared to seal the deal.
she WANTS it. her boyfriend can't satisfy her and that's why she messes with you, so just take it or walk away completely and stop messing around half way because that's only going to mess with your emotions and think something is there when it's not.
don't get it confused, this girl is willing to jump from guy to guy like she's doing with you and her bf, you aren't going have a stable relationship with her. you're only going to be able to have fun with her, so have fun while you can.
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On September 15 2010 23:59 gameguard wrote: meh.. just sort of happend. What can i do though I really like her.
feelings can be controlled easier than most people think. I used to think that I couldn't get over girls. Nothing dramatic happened, but I just started being able to. I can usually shrug things off after a day or so. You just do it. This girl sounds like a terrible situation to commit yourself to. It'd be ok if you just wanted to sleep with her, but it doesn't sound like the case. Just be friends and if you can't control yourself, don't see her at all. Letting go is only hard if you believe it to be.
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If you want to win, you need to step into her footsteps and think from her side. She likes you right? Why isn't she jumping boat? The reason is because she has been attached to this other BF for too long. 3-4 years! For someone who is that young (I am assuming aorund 18-19), 3-4 years is a long time! You can't just cut the the bond like that. In her head, she is far too invested. To her, he is the safe bet. He loves her, she likes him. Its a sure thing. You on the other hand, she met for a few months. Sure, she likes you and you like her back. But is it enough for her to drop the sure thing? This is why she is completely confused. At this point you have to think, is this worth it? Do I want to go out with someone who has to cut a 3-4 year tie for me? Think about all the emotional shit she will have to go through. Guess who has to listen to all of that? YOU! Do you really want that? Personally, I feel you just want to bang her and thats it. You've been craving her for almost a month. You think you really want to be with her but really, you just want her to stop being such a tease and just give it to you. If you really think you love her and you want to be with her forever, well then gl. this is how you win. Make her believe that you can replace him completely. Make her feel secure to dump him and take you. Thats all. Whether it is true or you have to fake it. Thats what you need to do.
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On September 16 2010 01:46 {88}iNcontroL wrote: My advice is get some beer, talk to her and be all "baby, the sun and moon rise and fall on the beauty that is your eyes" and then drink/kiss. After she replies with something (I imagine) like "if only I ... *gasp*" and then you go "what is it? What holds thy tongue so?" but of course she just sits there with her bare back to you sobbing (you can tell because of the rise and fall of her slender shoulders). After drinking the beer you leave to go get more beer but come back to find she has TURNED TOWARDS YOU and you drop the beer which melodramatically falls to the floor smashing into shards and IN THE SHARDS you can see you two making love while drinking beer SHE WENT AND GOT SLIGHTLY FASTER.
After making sweet love and pouring beer on each other you guys drink some more and kiss intensely but then she cries because she has dishonored her family. So you break into a martial arts montage in the backyard which ends with kicking a tree over as sweat shoots off your bare chest.
Seems pretty obvious what needs to happen.
This is probably the best advice
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If she'll cheat with you, she'll cheat on you.
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On September 16 2010 03:10 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 01:46 {88}iNcontroL wrote: My advice is get some beer, talk to her and be all "baby, the sun and moon rise and fall on the beauty that is your eyes" and then drink/kiss. After she replies with something (I imagine) like "if only I ... *gasp*" and then you go "what is it? What holds thy tongue so?" but of course she just sits there with her bare back to you sobbing (you can tell because of the rise and fall of her slender shoulders). After drinking the beer you leave to go get more beer but come back to find she has TURNED TOWARDS YOU and you drop the beer which melodramatically falls to the floor smashing into shards and IN THE SHARDS you can see you two making love while drinking beer SHE WENT AND GOT SLIGHTLY FASTER.
After making sweet love and pouring beer on each other you guys drink some more and kiss intensely but then she cries because she has dishonored her family. So you break into a martial arts montage in the backyard which ends with kicking a tree over as sweat shoots off your bare chest.
Seems pretty obvious what needs to happen.
This is probably the best advice Agreed. It has every procedure specifically outlined too with details.
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Wow all I can say is that you're a loser. Seriously, how would you feel if your girlfriend of 4 years broke up with you for some random dude? Worse yet, your girlfriend of 4 years whom you've met preparations to go overseas and see her, broke up with you for some douchebag she barely knows.
Honestly? I hate people like you. The only reason you want her so bad is because you can't get anyone else. These are one of your lucky golden 'opportunities' so you make excuses and justify your actions by hoping she has a bad boyfriend. If you were such a baller, you'd forget her and find an equally attractive girl without a boyfriend.
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On September 15 2010 23:46 deo.deo wrote: she sounds like a real keeper, go for it you guys will be happy FOREVER! on a more serious note what makes you think when you guys are together she wouldn't just do the same shit to you?
Ya, this is the reason I never date a girl her cheated on her bf with me. You just cant trust those types imo. Although as I get older I am finding out way too many girls are willing to cheat on their bfs.
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On September 16 2010 03:25 Xyik wrote: Wow all I can say is that you're a loser. Seriously, how would you feel if your girlfriend of 4 years broke up with you for some random dude? Worse yet, your girlfriend of 4 years whom you've met preparations to go overseas and see her, broke up with you for some douchebag she barely knows.
Honestly? I hate people like you. The only reason you want her so bad is because you can't get anyone else. These are one of your lucky golden 'opportunities' so you make excuses and justify your actions by hoping she has a bad boyfriend. If you were such a baller, you'd forget her and find an equally attractive girl without a boyfriend.
If that happened I would be happy she is gone ultimately it is her lost and it would let me move on as soon as possible rather than prolong something which is going no where.
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On September 16 2010 03:54 gmsts wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 03:25 Xyik wrote: Wow all I can say is that you're a loser. Seriously, how would you feel if your girlfriend of 4 years broke up with you for some random dude? Worse yet, your girlfriend of 4 years whom you've met preparations to go overseas and see her, broke up with you for some douchebag she barely knows.
Honestly? I hate people like you. The only reason you want her so bad is because you can't get anyone else. These are one of your lucky golden 'opportunities' so you make excuses and justify your actions by hoping she has a bad boyfriend. If you were such a baller, you'd forget her and find an equally attractive girl without a boyfriend. If that happened I would be happy she is gone ultimately it is her lost and it would let me move on as soon as possible rather than prolong something which is going no where.
lol you wouldn't be happy, you'd be like goddamn I just wasted 4 years of my life with a slut.
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so she's regularly cheating on her boyfriend, then tell you this:
On September 15 2010 23:25 gameguard wrote: she was hurt telling me im just like any other guy.
and at the same time she says she loves her boyfriend?
What a whore, lol.
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Be an alpha male and give her an ultimatum, stop being a beta male and just suggesting that you like her or suggesting that she leaves him for you. Tell her straight out.
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come on, man up. bang her first then you discuss your future, else you fall into the good friend zone, and you will never get out. You were so close to score, but you wuss out. DON"T BE A WUSS. Since you don't know her bf, it's perfectly find to date her knowing the fact that she is in a relationship. She loves the attention you give her, that's why she keep playing mind games with you, either you get out or get in, don't make your life miserable, that's the last thing you want to do. From what i can scene, you are already cruising toward it with 200 mph.
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On September 16 2010 01:46 {88}iNcontroL wrote: My advice is get some beer, talk to her and be all "baby, the sun and moon rise and fall on the beauty that is your eyes" and then drink/kiss. After she replies with something (I imagine) like "if only I ... *gasp*" and then you go "what is it? What holds thy tongue so?" but of course she just sits there with her bare back to you sobbing (you can tell because of the rise and fall of her slender shoulders). After drinking the beer you leave to go get more beer but come back to find she has TURNED TOWARDS YOU and you drop the beer which melodramatically falls to the floor smashing into shards and IN THE SHARDS you can see you two making love while drinking beer SHE WENT AND GOT SLIGHTLY FASTER.
After making sweet love and pouring beer on each other you guys drink some more and kiss intensely but then she cries because she has dishonored her family. So you break into a martial arts montage in the backyard which ends with kicking a tree over as sweat shoots off your bare chest.
Seems pretty obvious what needs to happen.
this is one of the best posts i've read in a long time. I love you inc Edit: in response to OP, just give up on it. Its really not worth it - too many negative potential effects to too little positive potentials.
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On September 16 2010 02:20 Salv wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 02:07 dudeman001 wrote:On September 16 2010 00:51 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 00:48 dudeman001 wrote: First off, nothing is your fault. If the girl is really that keen on cheating on a boyfriend she's had for 3-4 years, you can't blame yourself.
Second, let her make her own choices. Not much sense getting in a relationship with her if she goes into it not sure what she's doing. Let her sort what she really wants and plan from there. Can you specify what you mean when you say nothing is the OP's fault? What about his role in this girl cheating on her boyfriend? It's not the OP's fault because in the situation, he's just a guy who's attracted to a girl. Yeah she's taken, but if she had the decency to not cheat on her boyfriend there'd be no issues here (unless our OP made a move anyway). If a girl has a boyfriend and is flirting with you anyway, are you going to feel like you're doing something wrong? You shouldn't, since she's the only using guys as she chooses. I still see it as a dick move, it's promoting cheating as long as the other person is willing. Maybe I just have more moral scruples to this situation than most of the people in this thread, but I think if you're moving in on a girl that you know is taken, regardless of whether or not she's into it, you're a dick.
Lol at people bashing him OP for dating a girl with a boyfriend... as long as the girl isn't engaged or married she's free game to chase, being GF/BF is only a course to decide whether they should marry and stay together forever or not
you're only a dick if you move on a girl if she's your buddies' girl, you don't move on a friends girl
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Well the problem is, its her choice. you can't really do anything about her boyfriend and whatever at this situation. Whether she dumps her bf or goes to you, is entirely her choice
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On September 16 2010 03:56 Xyik wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 03:54 gmsts wrote:On September 16 2010 03:25 Xyik wrote: Wow all I can say is that you're a loser. Seriously, how would you feel if your girlfriend of 4 years broke up with you for some random dude? Worse yet, your girlfriend of 4 years whom you've met preparations to go overseas and see her, broke up with you for some douchebag she barely knows.
Honestly? I hate people like you. The only reason you want her so bad is because you can't get anyone else. These are one of your lucky golden 'opportunities' so you make excuses and justify your actions by hoping she has a bad boyfriend. If you were such a baller, you'd forget her and find an equally attractive girl without a boyfriend. If that happened I would be happy she is gone ultimately it is her lost and it would let me move on as soon as possible rather than prolong something which is going no where. lol you wouldn't be happy, you'd be like goddamn I just wasted 4 years of my life with a slut. Tbh if you date a girl for 4 years and enjoy it the whole time, I'd say its usually worth it no matter what happens after. As long as you enjoy it while it lasts.
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What helps me...
Just think when you like her...
"Well, she'd cheat on me too, even if she told me she loved me, she'd be consistently screwing around with other guys."
I'd break up with a gf if she was just drinking constantly with a guy she liked and was being overly flirty. She wouldn't even have to cheat. Convince yourself she's a slut.
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On September 16 2010 01:42 JackMcCoy wrote: Hey, don't worry, I feel you bro. Overwhelmed by the crippling fear that you can't do better than this broad? Hey, you might be right, I’ve seen it happen before, a guy thinks “hey I can do better than this, I have dignity and self-respect. I don’t need her.” Wrong. That guy was ugly and he made the biggest mistake of his life. I don’t want you to do the same. These people don’t know you, so don’t listen to their feel-good Oprah advice, you know you need a regular schedule of getting butt so that you can remain socially relevant to your peers and not drown in the deep, smothering, infinitely black waters of being alone.
Everyone here’s giving you “hallmark channel”, but I’m gonna throw at you some “Discovery channel”. When two dudes in nature are gravitating towards the same chick, they don’t consult Dr. Phil or teamliquid or their favorite Nicholas Sparks movie adaptation, they get down to business. There’s 2 possible routes: fighting or peacocking. You ever seen those goats just ramming their fuckin heads at each other? Be prepared for that, except with fists (or maybe heads). Option 2 is to bring some sexy back and hit her with a piece of the magic.
Obviously you don’t want to fight this guy if he’s bigger than you. Maybe he’s on the juice and could punch your nose out the back of your head. Maybe he’s a troubled stranger with a shady past and nothing left to lose. Basically, don’t fight him unless you have an overwhelming advantage and it will be an easy victory. Don’t overdo it though, because if you start roughing the kid up when he’s on the ground the chick’s emotional hard-coding is gonna make her want to help and mother the weak one. All you want to do is exercise some physical prowess and render him immobile and stupid looking, but remember: only if he’s much smaller and weaker than you (also, if you do engange he does start to win, tell him you’re gay and he’ll be charged with a hate crime if he assaults you, great escape plan).
If you’re not going to fight, then you’ve got to peacock. You’ve got to show this chick why you’re better in every way than this guy. Start off by only referring to him using words like “bozo”, “dweeb” or “pointdexter”. Use every opportunity to make him look stupid, and frequently make subtle remarks about his ambiguous sexuality. If he looks like he works out, ball him things like “meathead”, “juicer” or “hulktard”. If he looks nerdy then call him things like “Screech” or “Urkel”. When you hang out together, excuse yourself to go to the gym then make threatening phone calls to his cell phone where you disguise your voice with one of those voice changers and say things like, “This is the police, you’re gonna die now faggot!” or “Do you know what we do to little pieces of fish like you in the bighouse? That ass is mine in 14 days.” This will serve to confuse and scare him, making him seem nervous and jittery while you’re cool hand Luke. Start calling his room at all hours of the night, waking him up and psyching him out. This campaign of psychological warfare will take its toll, and pretty soon he’ll be a walking mess.
Start making references to other girls you’re gonna take out, then make up fantastical stories about how amazing your dates were while she’s stuck babysitting this bag of nerves. Something like, “Yeah, it was really magical. We went to this little Italian place by the bay and they put us out on the honeymoon table under the stars. We were just staring into each other’s eyes when John Mayer came over to us and said we looked so happy that he wanted to play an impromptu set of romantic hits for us. One of the old men came over to tell us how happy he was for us when he started choking on some of the fantastic meatballs we were all eating. I hopped up and gave him the Heimlich and saved his life, and to thank me he’s flying us out to stay in his villa in Tuscany next month for free. I’m not going to call myself a hero, but that was their word for me. It was a pretty good night.”
There are plenty more avenues to pursue until you break this guy. Feel free to try some of the following: call his work as “US Marshall Mike Dexter” and tell them you’re looking for an escaped sex offender, giving the other guy’s name. Try to sound like a girl and leave voicemails on both his and her phone demanding a paternity test and thanking him for hepatitis. The possibilities here are endless.
As you can see, getting girls is easy. Good luck!
Best advice ever. You Sir are a winrar!
Incontrol followed up a close second, but listen to every word JackMcCoy kindly bequeathed to you...
PS: You're still a fag
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On September 16 2010 04:28 saltywet wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 02:20 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 02:07 dudeman001 wrote:On September 16 2010 00:51 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 00:48 dudeman001 wrote: First off, nothing is your fault. If the girl is really that keen on cheating on a boyfriend she's had for 3-4 years, you can't blame yourself.
Second, let her make her own choices. Not much sense getting in a relationship with her if she goes into it not sure what she's doing. Let her sort what she really wants and plan from there. Can you specify what you mean when you say nothing is the OP's fault? What about his role in this girl cheating on her boyfriend? It's not the OP's fault because in the situation, he's just a guy who's attracted to a girl. Yeah she's taken, but if she had the decency to not cheat on her boyfriend there'd be no issues here (unless our OP made a move anyway). If a girl has a boyfriend and is flirting with you anyway, are you going to feel like you're doing something wrong? You shouldn't, since she's the only using guys as she chooses. I still see it as a dick move, it's promoting cheating as long as the other person is willing. Maybe I just have more moral scruples to this situation than most of the people in this thread, but I think if you're moving in on a girl that you know is taken, regardless of whether or not she's into it, you're a dick. Lol at people bashing him OP for dating a girl with a boyfriend... as long as the girl isn't engaged or married she's free game to chase, being GF/BF is only a course to decide whether they should marry and stay together forever or not you're only a dick if you move on a girl if she's your buddies' girl, you don't move on a friends girl
Disagree. You're an asshole for promoting cheating. Look, assuming a couple is exclusive of course, if you go after a girl with a boyfriend and she had any class, she would turn you down. If you go after a girl with a boyfriend and she's fine with that, she's a whore. Her actions promote the idea that it's acceptable to cheat. Your actions of going after any girl, regardless if they are taken are not, also promotes the idea that it's acceptable to cheat. If you do that, IMO, you're an asshole. You wouldn't care much for it if it happened to you, so you shouldn't pull that crap with others; it's altruism that benefits everyone who values monogamy.
Moving in on your friends girlfriend is just being an asshole to a higher degree. Congratulations for having some line you're not willing to cross.
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Do what you wanna do. Living with regrets is worthless.
IF she says no to you to stay with the other guy, you'll fell better than living questioning "what if she choose me?"
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On September 15 2010 23:25 gameguard wrote: I will just stand by her if she needs me and try to be good to her. Whether this is healthy, I dunno. But I made a promise and I intend to keep it.
Not gonna be very healthy if her boyfriend shows up with a shotgun at your door. Seriously tho you should wait it out imo, and see how their relationship goes.
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I'm going to be blunt here and say you're a complete douche for even considering doing anything with this chick. I mean what the fuck, she's been with a guy for 4 years and you want to ruin that just cuz you've got a little crush on her after just a few months? Man up, stop focusing on yourself for a sec and put yourself in that other guys shoes.. Burn the bridge completely and move the fuck on. Don't be the guy that causes another guy to contemplate suicide over a bad breakup.
And in response to your comments on how unhappy she is with the relationship.. What gives you the right to be the judge of that. You don't even fucking understand what she's saying and you're making that conclusion off of her tone during a phonecall? They've been together for 4 years and she's calling him from abroad from another guys room. Of course they're going to have a few arguments. You don't have any say in what's a healthy relationship and what's not because you are clearly self centered yourself. Jesus christ I am genuinely disturbed that someone with a mindset like yours will be a doctor someday
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In your life you definitely need to go out with a girl that dates another guy, just to see how it is. I've learned so much and restored a lot of faith in women from a couple of those instances. One time I knew it all along and was laughing about it while my friends were scolding me yet I couldn't help it - the girl was too good. Was really hard for both of us but I kind of fed off those emotions - it was a nice experience after all, something to remember.
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On September 16 2010 05:49 EpiK wrote: I'm going to be blunt here and say you're a complete douche for even considering doing anything with this chick. I mean what the fuck, she's been with a guy for 4 years and you want to ruin that just cuz you've got a little crush on her after just a few months? Man up, stop focusing on yourself for a sec and put yourself in that other guys shoes.. Burn the bridge completely and move the fuck on. The be the guy that causes another guy to contemplate suicide over a bad breakup.
And in response to your comments on how unhappy she is with the relationship.. What gives you the right to be the judge of that. You don't even fucking understand what she's saying and you're making that conclusion off of her tone during a phonecall? They've been together for 4 years and she's calling him from abroad from another guys room. Of course they're going to have a few arguments. You don't have any say in what's a healthy relationship and what's not because you are clearly self centered yourself. Jesus christ I am genuinely disturbed that someone with a mindset like yours will be a doctor someday
A lot of these girls have only been dating one guy, that's why they don't know how to behave in that situation and have so many doubts. If she isn't going to spend the rest of her life with him - you can definitely become the next guy she dates. And if you get that impossible girl it is so much more rewarding. You'd wake up with a "fuck yeah" face on.
And there is no "healthy relationship". Sometimes you will meet someone that is not with you but that would most likely be your dream girl. You can stay away or you can try at it - depends on your mentality, I rather regret something that I've done than regret not doing anything.
Sometimes you have to take responsibility - would you not touch a girl if she was a virgin? Because this is the same premise - you might be ruining something that you don't want to be responsible for in the long run.
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Just cause there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score.
=D
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No one knows your situation as well as you do, and no one on this thread cares as much about you than you do. Were I in your situation, I'd get away from the girl.
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Why would you wanna date a whore??? Get your rocks off and all, but you don't actually date a ho that cheats on her boyfriend for you. That shit's a law like gravity and stuff.
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Sounds like she's toying with your feelings and crying for attention.
She's the one making you react to her. But you're the man; make her react to you. Be a leader. Initiate things. If she doesn't want to go along with that then she's not interested in you and you should probably move on.
Good job trying to escalate with her though. If you have the balls to do that then finding another girl will be easy for you. gl with it
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On September 16 2010 06:11 Hawk wrote: Why would you wanna date a whore??? Get your rocks off and all, but you don't actually date a ho that cheats on her boyfriend for you. That shit's a law like gravity and stuff.
So every girl that broke up with her boyfriend because she met someone else she loved is a whore? You are pretty old from what I remember, how are you even saying this. Another thing, what reasons do you date for? Sometimes it's just pure passion, you don't even need to know if she's a whore or not. I wonder if any of the great poets bothered with something as trivial as girls "relationship status".
On September 16 2010 06:18 Spiffeh wrote: Sounds like she's toying with your feelings and crying for attention.
She's the one making you react to her. But you're the man; make her react to you. Be a leader. Initiate things. If she doesn't want to go along with that then she's not interested in you and you should probably move on.
Good job trying to escalate with her though. If you have the balls to do that then finding another girl will be easy for you. gl with it
I mostly agree.
These stories are rarely successful, yet I'm not blaming OP for expressing his feelings and going along with it. Good effort, you will be lucky in love.
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Wow I actually really enjoyed that read. Sad but good story, reminds me of the days when there were women I actually cared about T_T
and omg JackMcCoy you're my new hero, rofl so good. Incontrol with a nice post as well :p Not sure I'm in a position to give any advice though
oh and this better not be fake ^^
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On September 16 2010 06:18 News wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 06:11 Hawk wrote: Why would you wanna date a whore??? Get your rocks off and all, but you don't actually date a ho that cheats on her boyfriend for you. That shit's a law like gravity and stuff. So every girl that broke up with her boyfriend because she met someone else she loved is a whore? You are pretty old from what I remember, how are you even saying this. Another thing, what reasons do you date for? Sometimes it's just pure passion, you don't even need to know if she's a whore or not. I wonder if any of the great poets bothered with something as trivial as girls "relationship status".
'Breaking up' and 'breaking up after confessing that you drunkenly fucking a random dude' are not the same thing. If you've been there, you know the difference.
Date in that sense that I was talking about would mean being exclusive, which he seemed to allude to at the end... Thought that was conveyed with the get your rocks off bit, but sometimes people don't understand my crude statements! But yeah, that's from experience. Girl who cheats on a bf always does it again. She's a ho. Go for it if you wanna get rocks off, but know what it is. You ain't finding love there (and it doesn't come after a few drunken trysts either!)
And I am not old >:[
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On September 16 2010 06:44 Hawk wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 06:18 News wrote:On September 16 2010 06:11 Hawk wrote: Why would you wanna date a whore??? Get your rocks off and all, but you don't actually date a ho that cheats on her boyfriend for you. That shit's a law like gravity and stuff. So every girl that broke up with her boyfriend because she met someone else she loved is a whore? You are pretty old from what I remember, how are you even saying this. Another thing, what reasons do you date for? Sometimes it's just pure passion, you don't even need to know if she's a whore or not. I wonder if any of the great poets bothered with something as trivial as girls "relationship status". 'Breaking up' and 'breaking up after confessing that you drunkenly fucking a random dude' are not the same thing. If you've been there, you know the difference. Date in that sense that I was talking about would mean being exclusive, which he seemed to allude to at the end... Thought that was conveyed with the get your rocks off bit, but sometimes people don't understand my crude statements! But yeah, that's from experience. Girl who cheats on a bf always does it again. She's a ho. Go for it if you wanna get rocks off, but know what it is. You ain't finding love there (and it doesn't come after a few drunken trysts either!) And I am not old >:[
To expand and reiterate on what Hawk just said here, there is a difference between breaking up to go out with someone else, and breaking up because you enjoyed fucking some other guy, the latter is a whore, every time.
If OP doesn't mind being a douchebag, and is fine with some casual sex that isn't leading to an actual relationship (not convinced of that), then keep it up, you might get lucky.
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Where did you see her planning to fuck OP and only then try to break up with her boyfriend? If she's worried to the extent where she's crying and suffering trying to make a choice between the two - she would most likely break up with her bf first rather than just cheat on him. Because if she wanted to cheat and keep it a secret she could've done it long ago, it only seems logical. If she was a slut she would've done it.
She wouldn't be breaking up because of fucking another guy while drunk, she would be breaking up because she met someone she liked more - isn't that fair? Would you want her to stay with the guy she's probably lost most of her feelings for?
Another thing - who cares whether she is going to cheat on OP in the future or not, they are in this dramatic situation right now where they could be having the time of their lives. They are young people who are going to date other guys/girls, I assume this is one of their first few love experiences.
And Salv, if every sex leads to an actual relationship - you are in for a lot of disappointment. Sex is only a small part of a relationship.
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On September 16 2010 05:28 Salv wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 04:28 saltywet wrote:On September 16 2010 02:20 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 02:07 dudeman001 wrote:On September 16 2010 00:51 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 00:48 dudeman001 wrote: First off, nothing is your fault. If the girl is really that keen on cheating on a boyfriend she's had for 3-4 years, you can't blame yourself.
Second, let her make her own choices. Not much sense getting in a relationship with her if she goes into it not sure what she's doing. Let her sort what she really wants and plan from there. Can you specify what you mean when you say nothing is the OP's fault? What about his role in this girl cheating on her boyfriend? It's not the OP's fault because in the situation, he's just a guy who's attracted to a girl. Yeah she's taken, but if she had the decency to not cheat on her boyfriend there'd be no issues here (unless our OP made a move anyway). If a girl has a boyfriend and is flirting with you anyway, are you going to feel like you're doing something wrong? You shouldn't, since she's the only using guys as she chooses. I still see it as a dick move, it's promoting cheating as long as the other person is willing. Maybe I just have more moral scruples to this situation than most of the people in this thread, but I think if you're moving in on a girl that you know is taken, regardless of whether or not she's into it, you're a dick. Lol at people bashing him OP for dating a girl with a boyfriend... as long as the girl isn't engaged or married she's free game to chase, being GF/BF is only a course to decide whether they should marry and stay together forever or not you're only a dick if you move on a girl if she's your buddies' girl, you don't move on a friends girl Disagree. You're an asshole for promoting cheating. Look, assuming a couple is exclusive of course, if you go after a girl with a boyfriend and she had any class, she would turn you down. If you go after a girl with a boyfriend and she's fine with that, she's a whore. Her actions promote the idea that it's acceptable to cheat. Your actions of going after any girl, regardless if they are taken are not, also promotes the idea that it's acceptable to cheat. If you do that, IMO, you're an asshole. You wouldn't care much for it if it happened to you, so you shouldn't pull that crap with others; it's altruism that benefits everyone who values monogamy. Moving in on your friends girlfriend is just being an asshole to a higher degree. Congratulations for having some line you're not willing to cross.
I'll concede that if the OP were friends with her boyfriend, this situation would be completely different imo. But since the boyfriend is some stranger in another country, I still can't blame the OP for his actions. Yeah in a perfect world we wouldn't have cheaters. And cheating shouldn't be condoned. But people stay in relationships longer than they truly want to and want that freedom they're being denied. Ideally, she should've just broken up with her boyfriend, gotten together with the OP, then if it wasn't working she could try to get back together with her foreigner bf. Psychologically so many things are going on it's a massive clusterfuck inside that girl's head. Even so, OP did nothing wrong.
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On September 16 2010 07:12 News wrote: Where did you see her planning to fuck OP and only then try to break up with her boyfriend? If she's worried to the extent where she's crying and suffering trying to make a choice between the two - she would most likely break up with her bf first rather than just cheat on him. Because if she wanted to cheat and keep it a secret she could've done it long ago, it only seems logical. If she was a slut she would've done it.
She wouldn't be breaking up because of fucking another guy while drunk, she would be breaking up because she met someone she liked more - isn't that fair? Would you want her to stay with the guy she's probably lost most of her feelings for?
Another thing - who cares whether she is going to cheat on OP in the future or not, they are in this dramatic situation right now where they could be having the time of their lives. They are young people who are going to date other guys/girls, I assume this is one of their first few love experiences.
And Salv, if every sex leads to an actual relationship - you are in for a lot of disappointment. Sex is only a small part of a relationship.
She already has cheated on him, the OP and this girl have been making out, possibly other things; that's cheating. As far as what I said about fucking a guy and then breaking up, I was speaking in general terms, not specifically to this situation. However for this situation, the girl has a boyfriend, but has been making out with OP and admitted that she was tempted to have sex with him, so the entire point I was making about this girl not being someone you would want a relationship with still stands.
Yes it's fair to break up with someone if you meet someone you like more, obviously. Secretly making out with other guys and things of the like however is cheating, so IMO she's of unsavory character. Also, the OP seemingly cares a lot and is borderline obsessed (like with any crush) with this girl, I doubt highly that his intention is just to have sex with her and then move along, he wants her as a girlfriend. Like I said, if his fine with being a douchebag by promoting cheating, and is fine with some casual sex, then that's his choice. BTW I've been in relationships and I'm currently in one now, that's why it's irritating to read so many people say, "Oh who cares if she cheats" or "It's not like they're married".
On September 16 2010 07:37 dudeman001 wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 05:28 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 04:28 saltywet wrote:On September 16 2010 02:20 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 02:07 dudeman001 wrote:On September 16 2010 00:51 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 00:48 dudeman001 wrote: First off, nothing is your fault. If the girl is really that keen on cheating on a boyfriend she's had for 3-4 years, you can't blame yourself.
Second, let her make her own choices. Not much sense getting in a relationship with her if she goes into it not sure what she's doing. Let her sort what she really wants and plan from there. Can you specify what you mean when you say nothing is the OP's fault? What about his role in this girl cheating on her boyfriend? It's not the OP's fault because in the situation, he's just a guy who's attracted to a girl. Yeah she's taken, but if she had the decency to not cheat on her boyfriend there'd be no issues here (unless our OP made a move anyway). If a girl has a boyfriend and is flirting with you anyway, are you going to feel like you're doing something wrong? You shouldn't, since she's the only using guys as she chooses. I still see it as a dick move, it's promoting cheating as long as the other person is willing. Maybe I just have more moral scruples to this situation than most of the people in this thread, but I think if you're moving in on a girl that you know is taken, regardless of whether or not she's into it, you're a dick. Lol at people bashing him OP for dating a girl with a boyfriend... as long as the girl isn't engaged or married she's free game to chase, being GF/BF is only a course to decide whether they should marry and stay together forever or not you're only a dick if you move on a girl if she's your buddies' girl, you don't move on a friends girl Disagree. You're an asshole for promoting cheating. Look, assuming a couple is exclusive of course, if you go after a girl with a boyfriend and she had any class, she would turn you down. If you go after a girl with a boyfriend and she's fine with that, she's a whore. Her actions promote the idea that it's acceptable to cheat. Your actions of going after any girl, regardless if they are taken are not, also promotes the idea that it's acceptable to cheat. If you do that, IMO, you're an asshole. You wouldn't care much for it if it happened to you, so you shouldn't pull that crap with others; it's altruism that benefits everyone who values monogamy. Moving in on your friends girlfriend is just being an asshole to a higher degree. Congratulations for having some line you're not willing to cross. I'll concede that if the OP were friends with her boyfriend, this situation would be completely different imo. But since the boyfriend is some stranger in another country, I still can't blame the OP for his actions. Yeah in a perfect world we wouldn't have cheaters. And cheating shouldn't be condoned. But people stay in relationships longer than they truly want to and want that freedom they're being denied. Ideally, she should've just broken up with her boyfriend, gotten together with the OP, then if it wasn't working she could try to get back together with her foreigner bf. Psychologically so many things are going on it's a massive clusterfuck inside that girl's head. Even so, OP did nothing wrong.
Ideally yes, she should have acted like a decent person, so should the OP, so I don't see how you conclude the OP did nothing wrong. OP is promoting cheating with his actions, which in your own words is condoning cheating, which you just said shouldn't be; why not conclude that the OP has blame? It's entirely warranted.
I'm not trying to run the OP in to the ground, it's not like he killed someone or made some massive mistake, but considering a lot of the responses here, I think it was being overlooked that his actions are rather shitty.
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I would sum up your value to this deceptive woman in two words: BACK BURNER
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On September 16 2010 05:53 News wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 05:49 EpiK wrote: I'm going to be blunt here and say you're a complete douche for even considering doing anything with this chick. I mean what the fuck, she's been with a guy for 4 years and you want to ruin that just cuz you've got a little crush on her after just a few months? Man up, stop focusing on yourself for a sec and put yourself in that other guys shoes.. Burn the bridge completely and move the fuck on. The be the guy that causes another guy to contemplate suicide over a bad breakup.
And in response to your comments on how unhappy she is with the relationship.. What gives you the right to be the judge of that. You don't even fucking understand what she's saying and you're making that conclusion off of her tone during a phonecall? They've been together for 4 years and she's calling him from abroad from another guys room. Of course they're going to have a few arguments. You don't have any say in what's a healthy relationship and what's not because you are clearly self centered yourself. Jesus christ I am genuinely disturbed that someone with a mindset like yours will be a doctor someday A lot of these girls have only been dating one guy, that's why they don't know how to behave in that situation and have so many doubts. If she isn't going to spend the rest of her life with him - you can definitely become the next guy she dates. And if you get that impossible girl it is so much more rewarding. You'd wake up with a "fuck yeah" face on. And there is no "healthy relationship". Sometimes you will meet someone that is not with you but that would most likely be your dream girl. You can stay away or you can try at it - depends on your mentality, I rather regret something that I've done than regret not doing anything. Sometimes you have to take responsibility - would you not touch a girl if she was a virgin? Because this is the same premise - you might be ruining something that you don't want to be responsible for in the long run.
lf you wake up with a big "fuck yeah" face on because you stole some guy's girl than you better keep up being an asshole double time because one day a bigger one is going to show up and screw your life up in some way.
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On September 16 2010 08:23 Xyik wrote: lf you wake up with a big "fuck yeah" face on because you stole some guy's girl than you better keep up being an asshole double time because one day a bigger one is going to show up and screw your life up in some way.
So this is not going to happen to you because.. why? 
If you think "stealing someones gf" makes you particularly happy - by all means go with it. I was talking about finally getting with someone you tried hard to get with, not some dick measuring contest. Sorry to disappoint.
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On September 16 2010 07:12 News wrote: Where did you see her planning to fuck OP and only then try to break up with her boyfriend? If she's worried to the extent where she's crying and suffering trying to make a choice between the two - she would most likely break up with her bf first rather than just cheat on him. Because if she wanted to cheat and keep it a secret she could've done it long ago, it only seems logical. If she was a slut she would've done it.
She wouldn't be breaking up because of fucking another guy while drunk, she would be breaking up because she met someone she liked more - isn't that fair? Would you want her to stay with the guy she's probably lost most of her feelings for?
Another thing - who cares whether she is going to cheat on OP in the future or not, they are in this dramatic situation right now where they could be having the time of their lives. They are young people who are going to date other guys/girls, I assume this is one of their first few love experiences.
And Salv, if every sex leads to an actual relationship - you are in for a lot of disappointment. Sex is only a small part of a relationship.
She already cheated on her bf with this guy, while it didn't lead to having sex, it's happened multiple times.
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On September 16 2010 08:27 News wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 08:23 Xyik wrote: lf you wake up with a big "fuck yeah" face on because you stole some guy's girl than you better keep up being an asshole double time because one day a bigger one is going to show up and screw your life up in some way. So this is not going to happen to you because.. why?  If you think "stealing someones gf" makes you particularly happy - by all means go with it. I was talking about finally getting with someone you tried hard to get with, not some dick measuring contest. Sorry to disappoint.
So that 'impossible girl' you were talking about was some random that you've had your eye on and not somebody's girlfriend? I'm pretty sure you were the one promoting how happy you would be to be able to get with that girl who's 'impossible' because she already has someone.
Sorry, you did disappoint. And no, that would not happen if people like you did not exist. 'I'd rather try and experience it than not try at all'. That applies to stealing things from people?
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On September 16 2010 08:30 FabledIntegral wrote: She already cheated on her bf with this guy, while it didn't lead to having sex, it's happened multiple times.
People can do more than their senses normally allow them to while being intoxicated.
I am currently observing a similar scenario where a girl from eastern europe is flirting with some dude that gets her high/drunk, they sporadically make out while under the influence. Her girlfriend made a bet with me that she isn't going to have sex with the guy ( she did dodge it thus far). She's on skype with her actual bf almost daily.
So I am going to lose that bet (I knew the guy pretty well and was confident he'd succeed). Might come off as a surprise, but kissing and cuddling alone in some girls minds isn't really cheating. Can you really call her a slut since she refused sex no matter how much she wanted it?
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On September 16 2010 08:37 News wrote: People can do more than their senses normally allow them to while being intoxicated.
I am currently observing a similar scenario where a girl from eastern europe is flirting with some dude that gets her high/drunk, they sporadically make out while under the influence. Her girlfriend made a bet with me that she isn't going to have sex with the guy ( she did dodge it thus far). She's on skype with her actual bf almost daily.
So I am going to lose that bet (I knew the guy pretty well and was confident he'd succeed). Might come off as a surprise, but kissing and cuddling alone in some girls minds isn't really cheating.
1. I assure you for the vast vast majority of males, if your women is making out and feeling another guy up, it's blatant cheating. 2. It's not some mistake when she's intoxicated once, it's a regularly occurring thing that happens because she has feelings for him.
In short, by most men's standards, she's a whore.
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On September 16 2010 07:12 News wrote: Where did you see her planning to fuck OP and only then try to break up with her boyfriend? If she's worried to the extent where she's crying and suffering trying to make a choice between the two - she would most likely break up with her bf first rather than just cheat on him. Because if she wanted to cheat and keep it a secret she could've done it long ago, it only seems logical. If she was a slut she would've done it.
She wouldn't be breaking up because of fucking another guy while drunk, she would be breaking up because she met someone she liked more - isn't that fair? Would you want her to stay with the guy she's probably lost most of her feelings for?
Another thing - who cares whether she is going to cheat on OP in the future or not, they are in this dramatic situation right now where they could be having the time of their lives. They are young people who are going to date other guys/girls, I assume this is one of their first few love experiences.
And Salv, if every sex leads to an actual relationship - you are in for a lot of disappointment. Sex is only a small part of a relationship.
Ok. Let me put it like this: What does this say about someone's character if they have a person they've been seeing 'exclusively' for 3-4 years--a person so dedicated that they are coming to a whole new country for their gf--and this girl has been drunkenly kissing and fucking around on several occasions??
Whore would probably be one of the nicer things I'd call her. treat it as a fling or whatever, but the last thing i'd do is worry about her feelings and start actually dating her. rekrul is a beacon of wisdom. He will agree.
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On September 16 2010 08:31 Xyik wrote: So that 'impossible girl' you were talking about was some random that you've had your eye on and not somebody's girlfriend? I'm pretty sure you were the one promoting how happy you would be to be able to get with that girl who's 'impossible' because she already has someone.
Sorry, you did disappoint. And no, that would not happen if people like you did not exist. 'I'd rather try and experience it than not try at all'. That applies to stealing things from people?
"Impossible girl" I was talking about was simply a girl that was hard to get because she was burdened with some "relationship" that she couldn't overcome no matter how hard she wanted to. If you made her do it - be happy.
And you are not "stealing things from people". It's her choice first, she isn't anyone's "thing" either. Fail analogy.
On September 16 2010 08:39 FabledIntegral wrote: 1. I assure you for the vast vast majority of males, if your women is making out and feeling another guy up, it's blatant cheating. 2. It's not some mistake when she's intoxicated once, it's a regularly occurring thing that happens because she has feelings for him.
In short, by most men's standards, she's a whore.
You can't see yourself being drunk making out with another girl because she is your cute roommate? If you can't - that's you, my moral standards must be rotten.
If she's a whore - so be it, she's the whore for OP because she can't resist it. He's the fucking man.
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On September 16 2010 08:39 Hawk wrote: Ok. Let me put it like this: What does this say about someone's character if they have a person they've been seeing 'exclusively' for 3-4 years--a person so dedicated that they are coming to a whole new country for their gf--and this girl has been drunkenly kissing and fucking around on several occasions??
Whore would probably be one of the nicer things I'd call her. treat it as a fling or whatever, but the last thing i'd do is worry about her feelings and start actually dating her. rekrul is a beacon of wisdom. He will agree.
I'd be ruined if she did that to me. But, honestly, she might be over him, what are you going to do Life is a bitch, I'd have to accept my miserable fate and move on.
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On September 16 2010 08:41 News wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 08:31 Xyik wrote:On September 16 2010 08:39 FabledIntegral wrote: 1. I assure you for the vast vast majority of males, if your women is making out and feeling another guy up, it's blatant cheating. 2. It's not some mistake when she's intoxicated once, it's a regularly occurring thing that happens because she has feelings for him.
In short, by most men's standards, she's a whore. You can't see yourself being drunk making out with another girl because she is your cute roommate? If you can't - that's you, my moral standards must be rotten. If she's a whore - so be it, she's the whore for OP because she can't resist it. He's the fucking man.
If I'm drunk and making out with another girl when I have a girlfriend then I fucking cheated on her. Yeah, I'd say you're probably in the bottom 5% of morality concerning relationships if you don't think that is cheating. If you do make out with other girls when you have a girlfriend, and use being drunk as an excuse, then you're cheating on her. Don't be friggin' exclusive if you can't "help yourself."
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On September 16 2010 08:41 News wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 08:31 Xyik wrote: So that 'impossible girl' you were talking about was some random that you've had your eye on and not somebody's girlfriend? I'm pretty sure you were the one promoting how happy you would be to be able to get with that girl who's 'impossible' because she already has someone.
Sorry, you did disappoint. And no, that would not happen if people like you did not exist. 'I'd rather try and experience it than not try at all'. That applies to stealing things from people? "Impossible girl" I was talking about was simply a girl that was hard to get because she was burdened with some "relationship" that she couldn't overcome no matter how hard she wanted to. If you made her do it - be happy. And you are not "stealing things from people". It's her choice first, she isn't anyone's "thing" either. Fail analogy. Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 08:39 FabledIntegral wrote: 1. I assure you for the vast vast majority of males, if your women is making out and feeling another guy up, it's blatant cheating. 2. It's not some mistake when she's intoxicated once, it's a regularly occurring thing that happens because she has feelings for him.
In short, by most men's standards, she's a whore. You can't see yourself being drunk making out with another girl because she is your cute roommate? If you can't - that's you, my moral standards must be rotten. If she's a whore - so be it, she's the whore for OP because she can't resist it. He's the fucking man.
lol how can you be burdened with a relationship. Stop making it sound like the girl is 'trapped' and just wants out to justify stealing. If she wanted out that badly she'd be out. She stays with the same guy because shes comfortable with him. Shes comfortable with the same guy because, hey, you know what he must not be that bad after all. I wonder why she even got together with that guy in the first place? He must have done something right. Shes curious about new guys because hey, all humans are inherently curious to 'try' things they've never experienced. That doesn't mean she wants out, or she would be out.
That 'temptation' of trying something new is exactly what religious refer to as a sin. And theres a reason for it. But forget the girl's point of view.
If you had the choice between making two people happy or making yourself happy, which would you choose? One answer is whats 'right' the other is 'wrong'. Some people know which one makes the world a better place, others don't.
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Guys, so far the girl rejected sex, you might call her a whore but she's staying true to her man. I didn't say OP "has to" fuck her. I commended his efforts in this regard because I didn't see anything wrong with it. He went with his heart and lived through some drama. That's awesome.
Xyik, I was going to bring in the church analogy, but in a different perspective. I was going to say that pulling someone out of a commitment to a faulty relationship is as much of an achievement as pulling someone out of his/her religious prejudices. Looks like you wouldn't enjoy that one though.
On September 16 2010 08:45 FabledIntegral wrote: If I'm drunk and making out with another girl when I have a girlfriend then I fucking cheated on her. Yeah, I'd say you're probably in the bottom 5% of morality concerning relationships if you don't think that is cheating. If you do make out with other girls when you have a girlfriend, and use being drunk as an excuse, then you're cheating on her. Don't be friggin' exclusive if you can't "help yourself."
I did that before because I couldn't resist it, maybe that's why I perceive it differently?
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On September 16 2010 05:28 Salv wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 04:28 saltywet wrote:On September 16 2010 02:20 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 02:07 dudeman001 wrote:On September 16 2010 00:51 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 00:48 dudeman001 wrote: First off, nothing is your fault. If the girl is really that keen on cheating on a boyfriend she's had for 3-4 years, you can't blame yourself.
Second, let her make her own choices. Not much sense getting in a relationship with her if she goes into it not sure what she's doing. Let her sort what she really wants and plan from there. Can you specify what you mean when you say nothing is the OP's fault? What about his role in this girl cheating on her boyfriend? It's not the OP's fault because in the situation, he's just a guy who's attracted to a girl. Yeah she's taken, but if she had the decency to not cheat on her boyfriend there'd be no issues here (unless our OP made a move anyway). If a girl has a boyfriend and is flirting with you anyway, are you going to feel like you're doing something wrong? You shouldn't, since she's the only using guys as she chooses. I still see it as a dick move, it's promoting cheating as long as the other person is willing. Maybe I just have more moral scruples to this situation than most of the people in this thread, but I think if you're moving in on a girl that you know is taken, regardless of whether or not she's into it, you're a dick. Lol at people bashing him OP for dating a girl with a boyfriend... as long as the girl isn't engaged or married she's free game to chase, being GF/BF is only a course to decide whether they should marry and stay together forever or not you're only a dick if you move on a girl if she's your buddies' girl, you don't move on a friends girl Disagree. You're an asshole for promoting cheating. Look, assuming a couple is exclusive of course, if you go after a girl with a boyfriend and she had any class, she would turn you down. If you go after a girl with a boyfriend and she's fine with that, she's a whore. Her actions promote the idea that it's acceptable to cheat. Your actions of going after any girl, regardless if they are taken are not, also promotes the idea that it's acceptable to cheat. If you do that, IMO, you're an asshole. You wouldn't care much for it if it happened to you, so you shouldn't pull that crap with others; it's altruism that benefits everyone who values monogamy. Moving in on your friends girlfriend is just being an asshole to a higher degree. Congratulations for having some line you're not willing to cross.
lets be real, a few decades ago, girls and guys go on dates with everyone, until they decide who they like and get married. its only in relatively recent decades that the idea of "girlfriends" and "boyfriends" come up.
in our current era people can be GF/BF without even being intimately close. as long as they are GF/BF people can very easily break up and switch partners, cheating at this stage isn't as big of a deal as you and other people in this thread make it sound to be
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On September 16 2010 08:54 News wrote:Guys, so far the girl rejected sex, you might call her a whore but she's staying true to her man. I didn't say OP "has to" fuck her. I commended his efforts in this regard because I didn't see anything wrong with it. He went with his heart and lived through some drama. That's awesome. Xyik, I was going to bring in the church analogy, but in a different perspective. I was going to say that pulling someone out of a commitment to a faulty relationship is as much of an achievement as pulling someone out of his/her religious prejudices. Looks like you wouldn't enjoy that one though. Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 08:45 FabledIntegral wrote: If I'm drunk and making out with another girl when I have a girlfriend then I fucking cheated on her. Yeah, I'd say you're probably in the bottom 5% of morality concerning relationships if you don't think that is cheating. If you do make out with other girls when you have a girlfriend, and use being drunk as an excuse, then you're cheating on her. Don't be friggin' exclusive if you can't "help yourself." I did that before because I couldn't resist it, maybe that's why I perceive it differently?
lol I'm not religious at all.
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On September 16 2010 08:54 News wrote:Guys, so far the girl rejected sex, you might call her a whore but she's staying true to her man. I didn't say OP "has to" fuck her. I commended his efforts in this regard because I didn't see anything wrong with it. He went with his heart and lived through some drama. That's awesome. Xyik, I was going to bring in the church analogy, but in a different perspective. I was going to say that pulling someone out of a commitment to a faulty relationship is as much of an achievement as pulling someone out of his/her religious prejudices. Looks like you wouldn't enjoy that one though. Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 08:45 FabledIntegral wrote: If I'm drunk and making out with another girl when I have a girlfriend then I fucking cheated on her. Yeah, I'd say you're probably in the bottom 5% of morality concerning relationships if you don't think that is cheating. If you do make out with other girls when you have a girlfriend, and use being drunk as an excuse, then you're cheating on her. Don't be friggin' exclusive if you can't "help yourself." I did that before because I couldn't resist it, maybe that's why I perceive it differently?
Lol rejecting sex but feeling another guy up and "intensely making out" isn't cheating? So you're one of those people. It's not cheating unless you fuck the guy. I'd love to see you perfectly ok with your wife feeling up some guy completely because she's intoxicated, into him, and likes him.
And if you did it before, fine, you've cheated on someone. Whatever. You were a dick to your girlfriend, would she have been ok with it if she found out? Would she tell people you never cheated on her? Doubt it.
Don't get me wrong, I've definitely fooled around with a girl who's been in relationship before. And she was the hottest girl I've ever done anything with (and we actually never had sex, although I got her in the shower). What I was saying is I would never date a girl like her because of what she did with me, despite her being hotter than any girl I've ever dated or had sex with.
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On September 16 2010 08:57 FabledIntegral wrote: Lol rejecting sex but feeling another guy up and "intensely making out" isn't cheating? So you're one of those people. It's not cheating unless you fuck the guy. I'd love to see you perfectly ok with your wife feeling up some guy completely because she's intoxicated, into him, and likes him.
And if you did it before, fine, you've cheated on someone. Whatever. You were a dick to your girlfriend, would she have been ok with it if she found out? Would she tell people you never cheated on her? Doubt it.
Don't get me wrong, I've definitely fooled around with a girl who's been in relationship before. And she was the hottest girl I've ever done anything with (and we actually never had sex, although I got her in the shower). What I was saying is I would never date a girl like her because of what she did with me, despite her being hotter than any girl I've ever dated or had sex with.
Now let's change "wife" to "girlfriend", because it would be relevant.
I'd get mad over it, we are all weaklings after all. But if I found out she stayed true to me - that would be somewhat of a relief. Plus guys and girls approach these situations differently, what's cheating to us isn't always cheating to them. Absolute majority would have sex as a followup to making out, OP situation is special in this regard. Also consider that US girls are not the same as foreign ones, here the sex followup happens literally almost every time.
My gf found out back then, we broke up instantly. I didn't think much of it, dated her long enough to not regret missing something special.
And yeah, you're saying you've done it yourself, that's exactly my point. If you get specific you can classify this as "cheating", it still happens and people have to deal with it. I'm positive that if I had someone I was really obsessed with I wouldn't kiss anyone else.
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I like how you think rejecting sex is a big deal. I'm pretty sure the only difference after making-out multiple times, is that the guy's dick hasn't made skin contact with anyone else. It's the act of being that intimate to someone else thats cheating.
It sounds like you're all okay with it because you've been through similar situations before and have 'lived' through it so you think it's no big deal for anyone else. Classic. Selfish people stay selfish.
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On September 16 2010 09:04 News wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 08:57 FabledIntegral wrote: Lol rejecting sex but feeling another guy up and "intensely making out" isn't cheating? So you're one of those people. It's not cheating unless you fuck the guy. I'd love to see you perfectly ok with your wife feeling up some guy completely because she's intoxicated, into him, and likes him.
And if you did it before, fine, you've cheated on someone. Whatever. You were a dick to your girlfriend, would she have been ok with it if she found out? Would she tell people you never cheated on her? Doubt it.
Don't get me wrong, I've definitely fooled around with a girl who's been in relationship before. And she was the hottest girl I've ever done anything with (and we actually never had sex, although I got her in the shower). What I was saying is I would never date a girl like her because of what she did with me, despite her being hotter than any girl I've ever dated or had sex with. Now let's change "wife" to "girlfriend", because it would be relevant. I'd get mad over it, we are all weaklings after all. But if I found out she stayed true to me - that would be somewhat of a relief. Plus guys and girls approach these situations differently, what's cheating to us isn't always cheating to them. Absolute majority would have sex as a followup to making out, OP situation is special in this regard. Also consider that US girls are not the same as foreign ones, here the sex followup happens literally almost every time. My gf found out back then, we broke up instantly. I didn't think much of it, dated her long enough to not regret missing something special. And yeah, you're saying you've done it yourself, that's exactly my point. If you get specific you can classify this as "cheating", it still happens and people have to deal with it. I'm positive that if I had someone I was really obsessed with I wouldn't kiss anyone else.
I haven't cheated. I've made out with a girl that has a boyfriend. Major difference.
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On September 16 2010 09:09 Xyik wrote: I like how you think rejecting sex is a big deal. I'm pretty sure the only difference after making-out multiple times, is that the guy's dick hasn't made skin contact with anyone else. It's the act of being that intimate to someone else thats cheating.
It sounds like you're all okay with it because you've been through similar situations before and have 'lived' through it so you think it's no big deal for anyone else. Classic. Selfish people stay selfish.
I did say I would suffer if it happened to me, my ego would be hurt so much haha. I do consider this cheating, yet I don't think OP was wrong for going at it. Ideally she had to break up with her bf or not get close with OP at all. But they get drunk, little chit chat and she realizes she likes him way more than her silly bf.
On September 16 2010 09:11 FabledIntegral wrote: I haven't cheated. I've made out with a girl that has a boyfriend. Major difference.
So finally OP is in the clear?
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On September 16 2010 09:15 News wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 09:09 Xyik wrote: I like how you think rejecting sex is a big deal. I'm pretty sure the only difference after making-out multiple times, is that the guy's dick hasn't made skin contact with anyone else. It's the act of being that intimate to someone else thats cheating.
It sounds like you're all okay with it because you've been through similar situations before and have 'lived' through it so you think it's no big deal for anyone else. Classic. Selfish people stay selfish. I did say I would suffer if it happened to me, my ego would be hurt so much haha. I do consider this cheating, yet I don't think OP was wrong for going at it. Ideally she had to break up with her bf or not get close with OP at all. But they get drunk, little chit chat and she realizes she likes him way more than her silly bf. Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 09:11 FabledIntegral wrote: I haven't cheated. I've made out with a girl that has a boyfriend. Major difference. So finally OP is in the clear?
I never said OP did anything wrong, I said the bitch was a whore and he should have no intention of dating her. I never said he did anything wrong in any of my posts.
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You're right, I just kept arguing forgetting who said what. She did cheat in guys eyes, but I disagree that OP should abandon her since it doesn't matter. Have as much fun with it while he can - that would be my advice. He wants her and she wants him, they don't even need a formal "relationship" to enjoy this.
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On September 16 2010 09:28 News wrote: You're right, I just kept arguing forgetting who said what. She did cheat in guys eyes, but I disagree that OP should abandon her since it doesn't matter. Have as much fun with it while he can - that would be my advice. He wants her and she wants him, they don't even need a formal "relationship" to enjoy this.
I could advise that as well but it seems like in the OP it's pretty clear he wouldn't be able to handle a "just have fun" type of relationship. That's my point.
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On September 16 2010 01:42 JackMcCoy wrote: Option 2 is to bring some sexy back and hit her with a piece of the magic.
Immortal advice.
From now on, whenever I get rejected by a girl on the first pass, I'm going to simply repeat this sentence in my head and try again with my pants down. And when she angrily asks me what I'm doing, I will casually reply, "Option 2".
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On September 16 2010 08:41 News wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 08:31 Xyik wrote: So that 'impossible girl' you were talking about was some random that you've had your eye on and not somebody's girlfriend? I'm pretty sure you were the one promoting how happy you would be to be able to get with that girl who's 'impossible' because she already has someone.
Sorry, you did disappoint. And no, that would not happen if people like you did not exist. 'I'd rather try and experience it than not try at all'. That applies to stealing things from people? "Impossible girl" I was talking about was simply a girl that was hard to get because she was burdened with some "relationship" that she couldn't overcome no matter how hard she wanted to. If you made her do it - be happy. And you are not "stealing things from people". It's her choice first, she isn't anyone's "thing" either. Fail analogy. Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 08:39 FabledIntegral wrote: 1. I assure you for the vast vast majority of males, if your women is making out and feeling another guy up, it's blatant cheating. 2. It's not some mistake when she's intoxicated once, it's a regularly occurring thing that happens because she has feelings for him.
In short, by most men's standards, she's a whore. You can't see yourself being drunk making out with another girl because she is your cute roommate? If you can't - that's you, my moral standards must be rotten.If she's a whore - so be it, she's the whore for OP because she can't resist it. He's the fucking man.
I'm comfortable with this. You clearly don't feel that making out and feeling up is cheating, I would argue that it is, and that it's ridiculous you feel otherwise. You're entitled to your opinion of course, but I think that you would feel differently if a girlfriend of yours did that to you.
On September 16 2010 08:55 saltywet wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 05:28 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 04:28 saltywet wrote:On September 16 2010 02:20 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 02:07 dudeman001 wrote:On September 16 2010 00:51 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 00:48 dudeman001 wrote: First off, nothing is your fault. If the girl is really that keen on cheating on a boyfriend she's had for 3-4 years, you can't blame yourself.
Second, let her make her own choices. Not much sense getting in a relationship with her if she goes into it not sure what she's doing. Let her sort what she really wants and plan from there. Can you specify what you mean when you say nothing is the OP's fault? What about his role in this girl cheating on her boyfriend? It's not the OP's fault because in the situation, he's just a guy who's attracted to a girl. Yeah she's taken, but if she had the decency to not cheat on her boyfriend there'd be no issues here (unless our OP made a move anyway). If a girl has a boyfriend and is flirting with you anyway, are you going to feel like you're doing something wrong? You shouldn't, since she's the only using guys as she chooses. I still see it as a dick move, it's promoting cheating as long as the other person is willing. Maybe I just have more moral scruples to this situation than most of the people in this thread, but I think if you're moving in on a girl that you know is taken, regardless of whether or not she's into it, you're a dick. Lol at people bashing him OP for dating a girl with a boyfriend... as long as the girl isn't engaged or married she's free game to chase, being GF/BF is only a course to decide whether they should marry and stay together forever or not you're only a dick if you move on a girl if she's your buddies' girl, you don't move on a friends girl Disagree. You're an asshole for promoting cheating. Look, assuming a couple is exclusive of course, if you go after a girl with a boyfriend and she had any class, she would turn you down. If you go after a girl with a boyfriend and she's fine with that, she's a whore. Her actions promote the idea that it's acceptable to cheat. Your actions of going after any girl, regardless if they are taken are not, also promotes the idea that it's acceptable to cheat. If you do that, IMO, you're an asshole. You wouldn't care much for it if it happened to you, so you shouldn't pull that crap with others; it's altruism that benefits everyone who values monogamy. Moving in on your friends girlfriend is just being an asshole to a higher degree. Congratulations for having some line you're not willing to cross. lets be real, a few decades ago, girls and guys go on dates with everyone, until they decide who they like and get married. its only in relatively recent decades that the idea of "girlfriends" and "boyfriends" come up. in our current era people can be GF/BF without even being intimately close. as long as they are GF/BF people can very easily break up and switch partners, cheating at this stage isn't as big of a deal as you and other people in this thread make it sound to be
No, I don't agree with that at all. In fact it's the opposite, decades ago, a woman would be considered easy or a louse if she had consensual sex regularly, it's only recently that the idea of recreational sex has become more acceptable, at least for women.
In terms of boyfriends and girlfriends, it works the same way now that it has always worked: You can date whomever and however many people you like until you've agreed to be exclusive to one person. When you're just dating without commitment, you're not going out, and you're not a couple, or boyfriend and girlfriend, you're simply dating. When you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you've made a commitment of exclusivity. This entire debate on cheating was made when some people stated that the OP is a bit of a douchebag for chasing a girl that has a boyfriend, that's low. I'm not suggesting that OP is a piece of trash or something, but his decision making in this situation is unscrupulous.
Argue semantics all you like, but I am of the opinion that the people here saying things like: 'Making out isn't cheating', or, 'it's not a big deal, it's not like they're married' - I highly suspect those people are hypocrites, as I strongly doubt they would feel this way if they caught their girlfriend making out and feeling up some guy at a party, it's bullshit.
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Dear gameguard :
1 - First of all ignore other advices on what is right or wrong in the matter of "dating morale". For some, hitting on a girl with a bf is being a dick, for others it's her own problem. Neither is right or wrong, we can't wish for a world where everybody fucks with anybody but if no man had to cold as stone on any girl with a boyfriend most of our dads would never have met mom and made us.
What is right in such matter is what you deeply feel is or isn't. This is my first advice for this matter and for a lot in life : "Don't give a fuck about a random moral concerns about your own life" (as long as you don't kill or mutilate anybody of course :D I think you know what I'm trying to explain).
Ask yourself then if you do feel low by what you are doing. If yes, stop immediatly. If no continue to next step.
2 - Look at the girl. About what you like first : beauty, humour, cleverness whatever. Now this was easy if I read you correctly. Now look at her default. If you see none, you are in trouble because you're blind, so look harder until you also see what you dislike : I can get she is whiny and a bit manipulative by what I see. Now listen me well, there is certainly no reason for you to be in such a shitty state for such a girl. You must admit that you can lose her and that your life won't be worse... she wasn't that special anyway.
3 - Now if you still want to date her (or I should say fuck her. After all if you just want happy friend time with her... you shouldn't have kissed and shit and told her you just want to be friends with her (sometimes this even lead to sex). First stop acting emo, it's counter productive on most girl and will just bring emo girls or girls that will later cheat on you anyway, so stop doing this shit and man up. Be still a gentleman, but with balls. What it means : - Bring her to your own world. Forget your emo stage, where you wanted to do things and tell her how you feel about what happens. Act like it didn't happen and go back doing your things and bring her along (sports, activity, TV, see your friends etc). (if you have cool friends that's very good, girls love to see the friends of somebody they date (to get clues about who they are involved with)) This will show the real you to her. Don't try too hard to make her having a good time, be like you would with your best buddy and try to do activities where you can actually touch her (not there perv !). - Stop buying her crap of : "Ho I don't know I have a bf but I like you too" (imagine whiny annoying tone here). Man up and just tell her you like her but now you can't decide for herself and go back to what you were doing. Don't sit there talking emotional with her for long (just a little here and there if necessary), it brings bad emotions in your interaction and you won't appear to herself as an attractive man. - When the moment are rights, kiss again and escalate to a more physical contact but withdraw quite quickly before her (if you can) and start again later stronger. Fact : like most women she will probably reject you at a point or another. Just chill out man and say ok I'm fine with it, resume playful activity and try another time/day. - If it ever feel hopeless because nothing is making progress, ignore her for a while and think/see/date other women in your spare time. You might even meet a great woman which you will date and the previous girl will either disapear or become your friend.
With all this, everything to do will be left for her to do, you will appear as a man, as available but not willing to be on a leash for too long either.
If it completly fails, tell yourself it's her issue for not doing her part and that there is a lot of other fish.
With regards.
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If you're serious about her: the next time she calls you to hang, say you aren't interested. Not never seeing her again, blah blah blah, nothing dramatic, just say you don't feel like it. This forces her to make a decision. If she legitimately wants you, she'll break up with her boyfriend. If she doesn't, then you know she's not as serious as she says she is and you can put it in the rear view mirror. If you do end up with her, you have to fore-accept a degree of probability that she might cheat on you, since she's already shown you it's something she's comfortable doing.
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Also, try getting her into Starcraft 2, if she makes diamond in a week, she's a keeper. If not, then..... eh.
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Well well, story of our lives.
What I did, 6 years ago in college when faced with very similar situations (come on, they're all essentially the same), when I would've been fine either with or without her, I told her - "It would be ultimately your choice. I don't want to be the 3rd wheel, so unless you break it off with him, nothing will happen (in your case, throw in "anymore") between us." Something to that effect.
Hold and behold, a few weeks later, she asked me to be her bf.
In your specific case, you can refuse to engage in anymore physical intimacy unless she makes a choice to be with you and end it with that guy. It will most likely drive her crazy and force her to make a decision. Chances are, you've already won. A weak SC2 analogy would be a 6pool on Steppes of War against a 12rax Terran that didn't wall off - you've already won.
But I have to warn you, she cheated on her bf to get with you, so she might cheat on you too. In my case, I am no longer with her (after 3 years) due to temporary long distance and a 3rd guy.
If it was up to me, I would NOT get with this type of girl again. I can continue a wall of text, but to sum it up by cheating on her bf it shows that she doesn't know what she wants and hence immature, plus a low self-esteem because she doesn't feel guilty enough to stop herself from cheating, which in my theory leads to various problems down the road. Oops I typed too much. (But I would most definitely fuck her. God was she hot.)
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On September 16 2010 11:24 rezoacken wrote: Dear gameguard :
1 - First of all ignore other advices on what is right or wrong in the matter of "dating morale". For some, hitting on a girl with a bf is being a dick, for others it's her own problem. Neither is right or wrong, we can't wish for a world where everybody fucks with anybody but if no man had to cold as stone on any girl with a boyfriend most of our dads would never have met mom and made us.
What is right in such matter is what you deeply feel is or isn't. This is my first advice for this matter and for a lot in life : "Don't give a fuck about a random moral concerns about your own life" (as long as you don't kill or mutilate anybody of course :D I think you know what I'm trying to explain).
Ask yourself then if you do feel low by what you are doing. If yes, stop immediatly. If no continue to next step.
2 - Look at the girl. About what you like first : beauty, humour, cleverness whatever. Now this was easy if I read you correctly. Now look at her default. If you see none, you are in trouble because you're blind, so look harder until you also see what you dislike : I can get she is whiny and a bit manipulative by what I see. Now listen me well, there is certainly no reason for you to be in such a shitty state for such a girl. You must admit that you can lose her and that your life won't be worse... she wasn't that special anyway.
3 - Now if you still want to date her (or I should say fuck her. After all if you just want happy friend time with her... you shouldn't have kissed and shit and told her you just want to be friends with her (sometimes this even lead to sex). First stop acting emo, it's counter productive on most girl and will just bring emo girls or girls that will later cheat on you anyway, so stop doing this shit and man up. Be still a gentleman, but with balls. What it means : - Bring her to your own world. Forget your emo stage, where you wanted to do things and tell her how you feel about what happens. Act like it didn't happen and go back doing your things and bring her along (sports, activity, TV, see your friends etc). (if you have cool friends that's very good, girls love to see the friends of somebody they date (to get clues about who they are involved with)) This will show the real you to her. Don't try too hard to make her having a good time, be like you would with your best buddy and try to do activities where you can actually touch her (not there perv !). - Stop buying her crap of : "Ho I don't know I have a bf but I like you too" (imagine whiny annoying tone here). Man up and just tell her you like her but now you can't decide for herself and go back to what you were doing. Don't sit there talking emotional with her for long (just a little here and there if necessary), it brings bad emotions in your interaction and you won't appear to herself as an attractive man. - When the moment are rights, kiss again and escalate to a more physical contact but withdraw quite quickly before her (if you can) and start again later stronger. Fact : like most women she will probably reject you at a point or another. Just chill out man and say ok I'm fine with it, resume playful activity and try another time/day. - If it ever feel hopeless because nothing is making progress, ignore her for a while and think/see/date other women in your spare time. You might even meet a great woman which you will date and the previous girl will either disapear or become your friend.
With all this, everything to do will be left for her to do, you will appear as a man, as available but not willing to be on a leash for too long either.
If it completly fails, tell yourself it's her issue for not doing her part and that there is a lot of other fish.
With regards.
^ I would like to add that this guy knows what he's talking about.
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On September 16 2010 14:07 Otakusan wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 11:24 rezoacken wrote: Dear gameguard :
1 - First of all ignore other advices on what is right or wrong in the matter of "dating morale". For some, hitting on a girl with a bf is being a dick, for others it's her own problem. Neither is right or wrong, we can't wish for a world where everybody fucks with anybody but if no man had to cold as stone on any girl with a boyfriend most of our dads would never have met mom and made us.
What is right in such matter is what you deeply feel is or isn't. This is my first advice for this matter and for a lot in life : "Don't give a fuck about a random moral concerns about your own life" (as long as you don't kill or mutilate anybody of course :D I think you know what I'm trying to explain).
Ask yourself then if you do feel low by what you are doing. If yes, stop immediatly. If no continue to next step.
2 - Look at the girl. About what you like first : beauty, humour, cleverness whatever. Now this was easy if I read you correctly. Now look at her default. If you see none, you are in trouble because you're blind, so look harder until you also see what you dislike : I can get she is whiny and a bit manipulative by what I see. Now listen me well, there is certainly no reason for you to be in such a shitty state for such a girl. You must admit that you can lose her and that your life won't be worse... she wasn't that special anyway.
3 - Now if you still want to date her (or I should say fuck her. After all if you just want happy friend time with her... you shouldn't have kissed and shit and told her you just want to be friends with her (sometimes this even lead to sex). First stop acting emo, it's counter productive on most girl and will just bring emo girls or girls that will later cheat on you anyway, so stop doing this shit and man up. Be still a gentleman, but with balls. What it means : - Bring her to your own world. Forget your emo stage, where you wanted to do things and tell her how you feel about what happens. Act like it didn't happen and go back doing your things and bring her along (sports, activity, TV, see your friends etc). (if you have cool friends that's very good, girls love to see the friends of somebody they date (to get clues about who they are involved with)) This will show the real you to her. Don't try too hard to make her having a good time, be like you would with your best buddy and try to do activities where you can actually touch her (not there perv !). - Stop buying her crap of : "Ho I don't know I have a bf but I like you too" (imagine whiny annoying tone here). Man up and just tell her you like her but now you can't decide for herself and go back to what you were doing. Don't sit there talking emotional with her for long (just a little here and there if necessary), it brings bad emotions in your interaction and you won't appear to herself as an attractive man. - When the moment are rights, kiss again and escalate to a more physical contact but withdraw quite quickly before her (if you can) and start again later stronger. Fact : like most women she will probably reject you at a point or another. Just chill out man and say ok I'm fine with it, resume playful activity and try another time/day. - If it ever feel hopeless because nothing is making progress, ignore her for a while and think/see/date other women in your spare time. You might even meet a great woman which you will date and the previous girl will either disapear or become your friend.
With all this, everything to do will be left for her to do, you will appear as a man, as available but not willing to be on a leash for too long either.
If it completly fails, tell yourself it's her issue for not doing her part and that there is a lot of other fish.
With regards. ^ I would like to add that this guy knows what he's talking about. He's on the right track, but his morals aren't up to par with his game. Advising a guy to go for a slut is bad dating advice. He should assert his value as a human being and have faith that she will mature in time. And manipulating someone to "come into my world" is suggesting that the other persons world view and value is inferior to yours. I'd rather enjoy the company of strangers and treat them as equals - meaning I respect them and expect the same back.
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On September 16 2010 08:55 saltywet wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 05:28 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 04:28 saltywet wrote:On September 16 2010 02:20 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 02:07 dudeman001 wrote:On September 16 2010 00:51 Salv wrote:On September 16 2010 00:48 dudeman001 wrote: First off, nothing is your fault. If the girl is really that keen on cheating on a boyfriend she's had for 3-4 years, you can't blame yourself.
Second, let her make her own choices. Not much sense getting in a relationship with her if she goes into it not sure what she's doing. Let her sort what she really wants and plan from there. Can you specify what you mean when you say nothing is the OP's fault? What about his role in this girl cheating on her boyfriend? It's not the OP's fault because in the situation, he's just a guy who's attracted to a girl. Yeah she's taken, but if she had the decency to not cheat on her boyfriend there'd be no issues here (unless our OP made a move anyway). If a girl has a boyfriend and is flirting with you anyway, are you going to feel like you're doing something wrong? You shouldn't, since she's the only using guys as she chooses. I still see it as a dick move, it's promoting cheating as long as the other person is willing. Maybe I just have more moral scruples to this situation than most of the people in this thread, but I think if you're moving in on a girl that you know is taken, regardless of whether or not she's into it, you're a dick. Lol at people bashing him OP for dating a girl with a boyfriend... as long as the girl isn't engaged or married she's free game to chase, being GF/BF is only a course to decide whether they should marry and stay together forever or not you're only a dick if you move on a girl if she's your buddies' girl, you don't move on a friends girl Disagree. You're an asshole for promoting cheating. Look, assuming a couple is exclusive of course, if you go after a girl with a boyfriend and she had any class, she would turn you down. If you go after a girl with a boyfriend and she's fine with that, she's a whore. Her actions promote the idea that it's acceptable to cheat. Your actions of going after any girl, regardless if they are taken are not, also promotes the idea that it's acceptable to cheat. If you do that, IMO, you're an asshole. You wouldn't care much for it if it happened to you, so you shouldn't pull that crap with others; it's altruism that benefits everyone who values monogamy. Moving in on your friends girlfriend is just being an asshole to a higher degree. Congratulations for having some line you're not willing to cross. lets be real, a few decades ago, girls and guys go on dates with everyone, until they decide who they like and get married. its only in relatively recent decades that the idea of "girlfriends" and "boyfriends" come up. in our current era people can be GF/BF without even being intimately close. as long as they are GF/BF people can very easily break up and switch partners, cheating at this stage isn't as big of a deal as you and other people in this thread make it sound to be
lol where did you read this???
y'all got some fucked views on relationships if lying in bed drunk with someone and making out isn't cheating
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thanks for all the input everyone (even the blunt ones saying im a retard. Other perspectives help cus I can only tell the whole situation to one guy irl atm).. I just had to vent out my thoughts and feelings over this experience. I did brood over the issue for some days but I've pretty much accepted the situation. I mean at first I did really just act on my emotions and wasnt really looking at the big picture. I'm not overly moral or anyhting as you can see. Yea its kinda fucked up for her bf but I dont know him and its just us that I am thinking about
Ive made the decision to kind of leave it up to her. Shes the one with the burden of choice. I cant expect her to drop off what shes comfortable with for something uncertain especially when this guy is willing to come here to be with her. I was with her today and I can tell shes having a hard time with this whole thing.
Really my goal is not to just bang her or win her or osmething. I do care for her. I can live with it if shes happy and everything works out with her bf. Her unhappyness could very well just be the symptom of a long distance relationship. At the very least I made a very close emotional connection with someone. And who knows what will happen in the future. Im not one to plan very far ahead or make comprehensive plans for the future which is one of the reasons that im here in the philippines atm lol.
edit: And please dont judge her just from a post by some random guy. Hell im not saying that I know everything about her. But why is it really someone's fault to just act on their emotions? Not everyone has some unmovable moral line that cannot be swayed. Not everything is just black and white. And if it turns out that later on I end up in the same situation, then so be it. Like i said I dont look that far in the future. The journy is what counts, and I do want to know her better whether as a friend or sometjhing more
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JIJIyO
Canada1957 Posts
I have no advice to give, but I have to say reading girl blogs on TL is one of my favourite hobbies. I could do this for hours upon hours. I feel really sad when there are no girl blogs for days, or even weeks. Please keep them coming, thanks.
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On September 17 2010 01:05 gameguard wrote: thanks for all the input everyone (even the blunt ones saying im a retard. Other perspectives help cus I can only tell the whole situation to one guy irl atm).. I just had to vent out my thoughts and feelings over this experience. I did brood over the issue for some days but I've pretty much accepted the situation. I mean at first I did really just act on my emotions and wasnt really looking at the big picture. I'm not overly moral or anyhting as you can see. Yea its kinda fucked up for her bf but I dont know him and its just us that I am thinking about
Ive made the decision to kind of leave it up to her. Shes the one with the burden of choice. I cant expect her to drop off what shes comfortable with for something uncertain especially when this guy is willing to come here to be with her. I was with her today and I can tell shes having a hard time with this whole thing.
Really my goal is not to just bang her or win her or osmething. I do care for her. I can live with it if shes happy and everything works out with her bf. Her unhappyness could very well just be the symptom of a long distance relationship. At the very least I made a very close emotional connection with someone. And who knows what will happen in the future. Im not one to plan very far ahead or make comprehensive plans for the future which is one of the reasons that im here in the philippines atm lol.
edit: And please dont judge her just from a post by some random guy. Hell im not saying that I know everything about her. But why is it really someone's fault to just act on their emotions? Not everyone has some unmovable moral line that cannot be swayed. Not everything is just black and white. And if it turns out that later on I end up in the same situation, then so be it. Like i said I dont look that far in the future. The journy is what counts, and I do want to know her better whether as a friend or sometjhing more
You're a great guy, kind of person I would want to drink with. Be yourself and everything will work out, I love your attitude towards this.
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On September 16 2010 17:58 Emon_ wrote:Show nested quote +On September 16 2010 14:07 Otakusan wrote:On September 16 2010 11:24 rezoacken wrote: Dear gameguard :
1 - First of all ignore other advices on what is right or wrong in the matter of "dating morale". For some, hitting on a girl with a bf is being a dick, for others it's her own problem. Neither is right or wrong, we can't wish for a world where everybody fucks with anybody but if no man had to cold as stone on any girl with a boyfriend most of our dads would never have met mom and made us.
What is right in such matter is what you deeply feel is or isn't. This is my first advice for this matter and for a lot in life : "Don't give a fuck about a random moral concerns about your own life" (as long as you don't kill or mutilate anybody of course :D I think you know what I'm trying to explain).
Ask yourself then if you do feel low by what you are doing. If yes, stop immediatly. If no continue to next step.
2 - Look at the girl. About what you like first : beauty, humour, cleverness whatever. Now this was easy if I read you correctly. Now look at her default. If you see none, you are in trouble because you're blind, so look harder until you also see what you dislike : I can get she is whiny and a bit manipulative by what I see. Now listen me well, there is certainly no reason for you to be in such a shitty state for such a girl. You must admit that you can lose her and that your life won't be worse... she wasn't that special anyway.
3 - Now if you still want to date her (or I should say fuck her. After all if you just want happy friend time with her... you shouldn't have kissed and shit and told her you just want to be friends with her (sometimes this even lead to sex). First stop acting emo, it's counter productive on most girl and will just bring emo girls or girls that will later cheat on you anyway, so stop doing this shit and man up. Be still a gentleman, but with balls. What it means : - Bring her to your own world. Forget your emo stage, where you wanted to do things and tell her how you feel about what happens. Act like it didn't happen and go back doing your things and bring her along (sports, activity, TV, see your friends etc). (if you have cool friends that's very good, girls love to see the friends of somebody they date (to get clues about who they are involved with)) This will show the real you to her. Don't try too hard to make her having a good time, be like you would with your best buddy and try to do activities where you can actually touch her (not there perv !). - Stop buying her crap of : "Ho I don't know I have a bf but I like you too" (imagine whiny annoying tone here). Man up and just tell her you like her but now you can't decide for herself and go back to what you were doing. Don't sit there talking emotional with her for long (just a little here and there if necessary), it brings bad emotions in your interaction and you won't appear to herself as an attractive man. - When the moment are rights, kiss again and escalate to a more physical contact but withdraw quite quickly before her (if you can) and start again later stronger. Fact : like most women she will probably reject you at a point or another. Just chill out man and say ok I'm fine with it, resume playful activity and try another time/day. - If it ever feel hopeless because nothing is making progress, ignore her for a while and think/see/date other women in your spare time. You might even meet a great woman which you will date and the previous girl will either disapear or become your friend.
With all this, everything to do will be left for her to do, you will appear as a man, as available but not willing to be on a leash for too long either.
If it completly fails, tell yourself it's her issue for not doing her part and that there is a lot of other fish.
With regards. ^ I would like to add that this guy knows what he's talking about. He's on the right track, but his morals aren't up to par with his game. Advising a guy to go for a slut is bad dating advice. He should assert his value as a human being and have faith that she will mature in time. And manipulating someone to "come into my world" is suggesting that the other persons world view and value is inferior to yours. I'd rather enjoy the company of strangers and treat them as equals - meaning I respect them and expect the same back.
Well never said she's a slut, that's your own view which for myself I find very sexist (unless you also think a man going from a woman to another is a slut too). I clearly stated that it's up to him to decide that part and to be honest with his feeling, if he has remorse he should stop.
You also misunderstood what I was saying about bringing her to his world. It has nothing to do with her world sucking. It is just a cute sentence to say : "show her who you really are" but it being more precise. I strongly believe people doesn't make an image of someone from what he says about himself but from what he does. And well I' not even suggesting to do crazy stuff to impress her, just his usual things : Gym, Tv/Cinema, Cute Bar, Sports, Grocery shopping (and cooking just after, only grocery is boring :p), whatever you want as long as it is easy, casual, and you both might have a great time. For sure you should first avoid the things she might hate too liketalking SC2 for hours or getting drunk with your buddy puking in each other shoes (true story) But these are easy to spot.
This is what I meant, doing your stuff with her is not being manipulative, it's being yourself with her. Do you actually drink tea and do shopping (examples) with your close friends ? why would you with a girl you met ? because girl like that and you want her to see you as a perfect boyfriend ? I don't know about you people but for me THAT is manipulative and absolutly dishonest. On a side note I'm note suggesting he rejects what she proposes. He should definitly do her stuff if he likes it and avoid it if he dislikes it and be honest with himself about these !
Edit : Now I admit some of my advices should be taken carefully. And that he should only pick the parts that he believes in.
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On September 17 2010 01:05 gameguard wrote: Ive made the decision to kind of leave it up to her.
This is a great approach, though your situation is a bit odd.
Even if it does work out in your favor and you two get in a relationship, I wouldn't expect it to be a forever thing. You already know that she is the kind of girl who will cheat on her boyfriend during a long-term relationship. What happens when you leave the Philippines?
Now maybe this is one of the rare exceptions where she treats you differently, but that's unlikely even in the most optimistic circumstances. Don't dwell on all this, just keep it in mind. You're doing what you feel is right, and in my opinion that's the best you can do. Good luck.
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On September 17 2010 01:32 JIJIyO wrote: I have no advice to give, but I have to say reading girl blogs on TL is one of my favourite hobbies. I could do this for hours upon hours. I feel really sad when there are no girl blogs for days, or even weeks. Please keep them coming, thanks. Yeah, you're completely right. They're really fun ].
Just to satisfy you, I'll (hopefully) write a girl blog of my own soon enough.
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I had a relationship like this with the girl having a long distance thing going with some guy. But even after they broke up it was difficult to transition to anything because the guy stayed on her mind for a long time.
It didn't end up pretty with all the memories/awkward moments and expectations of you being like him. Ended up with nothing happening besides a lot of problems and her being jaded. If she does make a decision, try not to fall into this type of spiral!
GL and hope this added something to your thought process :$
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she cheated on her boyfriend if you ever got with her, she could do the same to you :T some girls like to steal other girl's boyfriends not for the boyfriend, but to satisfy themselves, girls want to know theyre desirable over other girls
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On September 16 2010 11:24 rezoacken wrote: Dear gameguard :
1 - First of all ignore other advices on what is right or wrong in the matter of "dating morale". For some, hitting on a girl with a bf is being a dick, for others it's her own problem. Neither is right or wrong, we can't wish for a world where everybody fucks with anybody but if no man had to cold as stone on any girl with a boyfriend most of our dads would never have met mom and made us.
What is right in such matter is what you deeply feel is or isn't. This is my first advice for this matter and for a lot in life : "Don't give a fuck about a random moral concerns about your own life" (as long as you don't kill or mutilate anybody of course :D I think you know what I'm trying to explain).
Ask yourself then if you do feel low by what you are doing. If yes, stop immediatly. If no continue to next step.
2 - Look at the girl. About what you like first : beauty, humour, cleverness whatever. Now this was easy if I read you correctly. Now look at her default. If you see none, you are in trouble because you're blind, so look harder until you also see what you dislike : I can get she is whiny and a bit manipulative by what I see. Now listen me well, there is certainly no reason for you to be in such a shitty state for such a girl. You must admit that you can lose her and that your life won't be worse... she wasn't that special anyway.
3 - Now if you still want to date her (or I should say fuck her. After all if you just want happy friend time with her... you shouldn't have kissed and shit and told her you just want to be friends with her (sometimes this even lead to sex). First stop acting emo, it's counter productive on most girl and will just bring emo girls or girls that will later cheat on you anyway, so stop doing this shit and man up. Be still a gentleman, but with balls. What it means : - Bring her to your own world. Forget your emo stage, where you wanted to do things and tell her how you feel about what happens. Act like it didn't happen and go back doing your things and bring her along (sports, activity, TV, see your friends etc). (if you have cool friends that's very good, girls love to see the friends of somebody they date (to get clues about who they are involved with)) This will show the real you to her. Don't try too hard to make her having a good time, be like you would with your best buddy and try to do activities where you can actually touch her (not there perv !). - Stop buying her crap of : "Ho I don't know I have a bf but I like you too" (imagine whiny annoying tone here). Man up and just tell her you like her but now you can't decide for herself and go back to what you were doing. Don't sit there talking emotional with her for long (just a little here and there if necessary), it brings bad emotions in your interaction and you won't appear to herself as an attractive man. - When the moment are rights, kiss again and escalate to a more physical contact but withdraw quite quickly before her (if you can) and start again later stronger. Fact : like most women she will probably reject you at a point or another. Just chill out man and say ok I'm fine with it, resume playful activity and try another time/day. - If it ever feel hopeless because nothing is making progress, ignore her for a while and think/see/date other women in your spare time. You might even meet a great woman which you will date and the previous girl will either disapear or become your friend.
With all this, everything to do will be left for her to do, you will appear as a man, as available but not willing to be on a leash for too long either.
If it completly fails, tell yourself it's her issue for not doing her part and that there is a lot of other fish.
With regards.
/approve the quoted thread
To OP, I've kinda been in your shoes.
I was single, & I had sex with this girl who has a bf, the relationship dragged for about 2 months, all the time i'd been waiting her to break up with her bf. In the end her bf found out, threaten to hire someone else to beat me yada yada (ok he's rich & luckily we didnt end up in fight). What I'd learnt is, it's not really worth it for the whole process.
Like one of the poster said, if she won't breakup with her bf for you, it just means that her bf is a safer bet (for her). It's a sign that she's confused & indecisive, hence toying your feeling. You just gotta know when to back off & state that you she should break up 1st, instead of dragging.
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On September 17 2010 11:56 Hidden_MotiveS wrote:Show nested quote +On September 17 2010 01:32 JIJIyO wrote: I have no advice to give, but I have to say reading girl blogs on TL is one of my favourite hobbies. I could do this for hours upon hours. I feel really sad when there are no girl blogs for days, or even weeks. Please keep them coming, thanks. Yeah, you're completely right. They're really fun ]. Just to satisfy you, I'll (hopefully) write a girl blog of my own soon enough.
yayyyyy *giggles*
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