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So today was pretty typical, I woke up, got on my computer, and spent the rest of the day trying to log on to battle.net to see if the beta was back up. To my disdain, it was still down so i decided to play some xbox live, Modernwarfare 2 (please no hate, I apologize to everyone). While in a lobby, there was this guy who was talking trash. I am sure we have all heard this before. He was basically going off on some kid, calling him a noob and talking about how he couldn't get a kill without using painkiller. That isn't too bad of a diss but it got me to thinking.
I began to wonder what some of the best jokes or "disses" that one Starcraft player would say to another. I really haven't given it too much thought but some of the funnier ones i could think of were
Man, you are so bad that blizzard had to make a Iron Level of Ladder.
You're APM is lower than The average Twilight fan's IQ
Please feel free to post some of the best SC and SC2 jokes and please keep them clean (or use a spoiler" to ensure the life of this thread and that all may enjoy.
Thanks and Have fun-
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You're not good at Starcraft.
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On July 07 2010 17:07 Lycaeus wrote:
You're not good at Starcraft.
Owch, that kinda gets right down to it, haha
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Your Starcraft is worse than your grandma's.
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You win by doing stupid shit
You win by doing nothing
you gotta stake
Making Carriers, useful talent toi have
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Dayum son, your building placement is worse than the leaning tower of Pisa
does that work?
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On July 07 2010 17:09 Beloth(OD) wrote:
Dayum son, your building placement is worse than the leaning tower of Pisa
does that work?
yes sir, haha I like it
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it's true, carriers are a nice skill toi have.
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Sir i believe that your vulture micro is sub par to the usual
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On July 07 2010 17:13 Scaramanga wrote:
Sir i believe that your vulture micro is sub par to the usual
LOL.
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NTT, before the game in chat:"I hope you are wearing steel pants cuz my
dick is coming".
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Nice storms bro, your templars have worse aim than Dick Chaney
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On July 07 2010 17:17 keNn) wrote:
NTT, before the game in chat:"I hope you are wearing steel pants cuz my
dick is cumming".
fixed
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HAHa i am glad you "Fixed" it!
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I can count how many times u won me with the stick in my pants.
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On July 07 2010 17:34 Amnesia wrote:
You play Protoss
Wow, that might be the meanest thing i have ever heard on any TL forum.
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My grandma has more APM then you
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On July 07 2010 17:35 M1.BoA wrote:
I can count how many times u won me with the stick in my pants.
What the shit does this mean?
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On July 07 2010 17:46 Baksteen wrote:
My grandma has more APM then you
reminded me of Chill vs Combat-EX
"My grandpa has more apm than combat-ex, and not only he has arthritis but he is also dead"
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Baltimore, USA22251 Posts
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On July 07 2010 17:07 Lycaeus wrote:
You're not good at Starcraft.
Starcraft is the only game where this insult actually invokes anger, it's probably the most serious insult available for us..
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Thanks for that link, such epic yo momma jokes.
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On July 07 2010 17:49 Valentine wrote:Show nested quote +On July 07 2010 17:35 M1.BoA wrote:
I can count how many times u beat me with the stick in my pants. What the shit does this mean?
FYP
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Baltimore, USA22251 Posts
Make sure you read through the whole thread... the OP does NOT contain all of them. ^_^
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this method was introduced to me by the bnet public. kinda went like this
random guy in an obs game: red is salty
me: salty? whats that
friend: salty?
random guy: see that micro hes so salty
me: what?
friend: ?
random guy: haha red is salty
I still don't know what random guy actually meant by that but I think its freakin' hilarious. So describe whatever your opponent is doing as 'salty.' It's an insult, somehow, trust me.
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[your girlfriend] can suck a dick
**my dick
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Ways to diss your opponent during/at the conclusion of a game:
"Great job. Are you proud of yourself?"
"God you're bad"
etc
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lol, i remember going through 20 pages of that on the battlenet forums. even the mods were posting them. and i was going to mention combat-ex as well. i think asking someone to lose for you so you look like a good player is assuming the person you're play with is a dumbass, so that wins biggest diss for me.
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On July 07 2010 18:40 KurtistheTurtle wrote:
this method was introduced to me by the bnet public. kinda went like this
random guy in an obs game: red is salty
me: salty? whats that
friend: salty?
random guy: see that micro hes so salty
me: what?
friend: ?
random guy: haha red is salty
I still don't know what random guy actually meant by that but I think its freakin' hilarious. So describe whatever your opponent is doing as 'salty.' It's an insult, somehow, trust me.
or maybe... red sea is salty? =OOOOOO thus red = salty? im not sure if the red sea is salty tho lol
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On July 07 2010 19:53 eLiE wrote:
lol, i remember going through 20 pages of that on the battlenet forums. even the mods were posting them. and i was going to mention combat-ex as well. i think asking someone to lose for you so you look like a good player is assuming the person you're play with is a dumbass, so that wins biggest diss for me.
linklinklink!!
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I don't really insult people, but I have gotten into the habit of saying something along these lines:
When I win: "gg"
When I lose: "fucking skilless faggot/noobass"
If the winner is especially faggoty, I may start talking about how "Atleast I have a life" and how I'm not some poor loser that plays the game all the time, and while I'm at it I have to talk about my hot super model girlfriend and how I have sex with her 18 times a day
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Here you go: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=102411¤tpage=5#81
Now for some insults!
- My grandpa could've proxied better than that. And not only does he have enteritis, he's also dead. (Day[9], from Chill vs Combat-ex)
- Is this match rigged, or are you actually this bad?
- (After harassing him) Don't worry, you didn't need those probes anyway. You can't macro.
- I'm not calling you a noob. Calling you a noob would be an insult to all noobs.
- Judging by how you're playing, I'm impressed you even managed to install the game.
- If you were twice as good, you'd be a skilless fucking newbie.
- At your level, I'd suggest you don't waste your APM on excessive micro. Stick to the things you know and do well, like making pylons and typing "gg".
- I've seen players with better muta micro than you. One of them was a computer.
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On July 07 2010 22:58 Purind wrote:
I don't really insult people, but I have gotten into the habit of saying something along these lines:
When I win: "gg"
When I lose: "fucking skilless faggot/noobass"
If the winner is especially faggoty, I may start talking about how "Atleast I have a life" and how I'm not some poor loser that plays the game all the time, and while I'm at it I have to talk about my hot super model girlfriend and how I have sex with her 18 times a day
I fucking hate that shit. I hate it when people type gg when they are winning. I get pissed off as hell. I think thats the worst insult. I love it when people insult me when they are losing, but when someone types gg... I just want to punch them in the face.
In summary, typing gg when you have a huge advantage is the worst insult ever.
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"Your brain's about as useful as a scout."
"shut the fuck up and blow me" (I use this EVERYTIME someone pisses me off)
"umm... you do realize you have to take the reaver OUT of the shuttle, right?"
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my all-time favourite:
A: "gg"
B: "gg"
A: "you leave first!"
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On July 07 2010 19:38 NevilleS wrote:
[your girlfriend] can suck a dick
**my dick
My dick that is. 
Lol, Chill vs Combat-ex.
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On July 07 2010 17:08 Mortician wrote:
You win by doing stupid shit
You win by doing nothing
you gotta stake
Making Carriers, useful talent toi have
HAHAHA. I understand everything so clearly now.
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On July 08 2010 00:07 lone_hydra wrote:Show nested quote +On July 07 2010 22:58 Purind wrote:
I don't really insult people, but I have gotten into the habit of saying something along these lines:
When I win: "gg"
When I lose: "fucking skilless faggot/noobass"
If the winner is especially faggoty, I may start talking about how "Atleast I have a life" and how I'm not some poor loser that plays the game all the time, and while I'm at it I have to talk about my hot super model girlfriend and how I have sex with her 18 times a day I fucking hate that shit. I hate it when people type gg when they are winning. I get pissed off as hell. I think thats the worst insult. I love it when people insult me when they are losing, but when someone types gg... I just want to punch them in the face. In summary, typing gg when you have a huge advantage is the worst insult ever.
Then they have succeeded in their attempt which is usually just to make you mad as hell. Do yourself a favor and ignore them.
Or as the internets would say, "Don't feed the trolls."
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Strangely enough, I use the same insult to both flame and respond to those flaming me:
GO BACK TO AMHERST AND GREASE DOWN YOUR SIDEBURNS YA DYKE
*typically spoken in a thick Boston accent*
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Someone once said to me as he left the game room,
"Damn my girlfriend won't stop begging me to get boned."
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Whenever your opponent retreats, referencing the trail of tears, while incredibly cruel, can be a pretty good diss.
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On July 07 2010 21:32 dogabutila wrote:Show nested quote +On July 07 2010 19:53 eLiE wrote:
lol, i remember going through 20 pages of that on the battlenet forums. even the mods were posting them. and i was going to mention combat-ex as well. i think asking someone to lose for you so you look like a good player is assuming the person you're play with is a dumbass, so that wins biggest diss for me. linklinklink!!
my mistake, it was yo mommaship's so fat.... still really funny ones though. i think i even put one in there.
if you wanted the combat-ex losership there's the combat-ex/chill showmatch casted by the wonderful day9 (lol, he's really cleaned up his act since he's become more mainstream), this is really funny if you haven't watched it. there's also the original combat-ex embarrassment here. that took too long, time to program the next week of swim camp...
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EPT
