On November 25 2009 19:53 Black Gun wrote: rofl, on the statistics page the listed calm as "inter.clam"
- Black Gun discovers the first clue behind the heart-wrenching tragedy
Flashback to the Avalon MSL. Inter.Calm defeated Kwanro 3-1 in the finals to claim one of the most prestigious prizes in e-sports, a Starleague championship.
Far away, in The United States, his biggest fan cried. Having become obsessed with Calm's creative play, aggressive style, and unique style of looks; the C- zerg player inter.clam broke down into tears. Having spent hours watching his VODs, trying to emulate his gamestyle, the line between what he thought was himself and what was Calm was beginning to erode. He checked his shelf for a trophy that wouldn't appear, tried to put on glasses that didn't exist. Inter.Clam would show Calm the ultimate form of love, by becoming him.
His transformation took quite a while. Months worth of plastic surgery later, he transformed from a 6'7" african american male, to an incredibly short korean man. When he looked in the mirror, he saw Calm's face, the thrill was as if Calm was standing in his bathroom beside him.
The first week he spent living as Calm in his small studio apartment was exhilarating. He purposely played ICCUP against D- players so his creative Calmesque strategies were sure to work. He constructed a proleague booth out of cardboard around his computer desk, tape recorded the fans cry of "Kim Yoon Hwan Hwaiting"
Before long it was a sad affair. He became angry and disgusted at the man in South Korea, stealing his glory, stealing what was rightfully his. After all, he was inter.clam, not about to be bested by some faker.
Clam saved up all the money he had to fly to Seoul and get a train ticket to the STX Practice House. For hours in the cold he waited outside the house for Calm to exit by himself. Calm finally left with Tossgirl to eat out. Clam followed them, a complete shadow, and sat at a table quite close to their own.
"I have to use the restroom." Calm imparted to his female teammate. This was Clams chance. He followed Calm into the bathroom. Calm stood at the urinal, whistling the new t-ara tune. Clam had hidden a small steel pipe in his jacket, slowly he slipped it out, caressed it between his fingers.
There was blood but there were no screams. Calm gurgled on the first hit, directly to the back of the neck, and collapsed. Calms head held to the steel pipe like Stork's carriers to 3/3 goliaths. Clam panted and put the steel pipe neatly back into his jacket after washing it. Luckily, Calm was a small enough guy to flush down the toilet, disposing of all evidence. Clam put on the clothes of Calm, the glasses. Before flushing the corpse, Clam kissed him on his disfigured forehead. "Goodnight Sweet Prince; you'll live through me now."
This is no slump. This is no "bad luck"
THIS IS A MURDER
Please if you live in Korea, inform the authorities to search the sewer system for the flushed body of Calm and to arrest inter.clam immediately. He is armed and unstable, he must be detained in a mental asylum. Don't put this theory aside so easily, it explains everything and is thus the best explanation.
Clam is quite the impressive individual to make it as far as he has undetected and managed to tarnish the name of Calm. Very clever indeed. I say lets keep him, I like his work. Who's Calm? It's Clam.
exactly tells my thoughts about clams recent performance. well, he´s got a chance for revenge tonight against fantasy. lets see if the flushed-down-the-toilet calm can return from the sewers with mutant super powers to haunt the living.
Clam just probably had a bad week or something, losing to Hyun on the same day when he have to play Fantasy then lost to Best the next following day. Its all about the momentum, I am pretty sure that Calm is better now. In sports, stuff happens. Hopefully Calm will bring out his game against Fanta tonight!
Apparently Calm crawled back from the drain to bring STX to Ace. Then behind the curtain, when it was all dark and mysterious, Clam wtf smashed him in the head with a bottle of beer, cursing "Bastard, I was busy drinking". Fantasy was right beside them the whole time but he was too busy thinking "To nuke or not to nuke?".
On November 27 2009 06:01 ryuu_ wrote: This explains everything. Get that murdering fake! Calm must be restored to the progaming scene! 5/5 Awesome story.
he's dead
On November 27 2009 14:26 omfghi2u2 wrote: I thought this was about clams..
Sir, having read your post, I must respectfully, but firmly, dispute your findings.
You see, after the so-called "inter.Clam" fiasco, I spent monthsweeksdayshoursseveral seconds in comprehensive and thorough investigation regarding the source of the phenomenon. And what I found was truly shocking.
You see, even as we speak, a frightening transformation is taking place in tide pools all around the world; the clams...are evolving. According to my confidential sources, approximately eleven years from now, these harmless shellfish will evolve a collective consciousness. And this collective consciousness, colloquially known as the Overmind, will, in retaliation for the years of being harvested, cooked, and devoured by humans, set as its first goal upon achieving sentience the utter and complete extermination of mankind.
Twenty years from now, my sources tell me, mankind will be on the verge of extinction, engaged in a desperate doomsday war against the Clams, now engineered by the Overmind into many horrific and deadly breeds of monsters.
And in this future, I have been told, the last remaining forces of mankind will be led by one man--a Korean male, known to his loyal and devoted troops as "Calm," and to his closest confidants as Kim Yoon Hwan. And, it seems, it will be this man's tactical genius and first-hand experience leading the Zerg Swarm--an experience that gives him a unique insight into the mindset, strengths, and weaknesses of the Overmind and the Clams-- that will allow him to gradually turn the war back in the human's favor and drive the Clams to the brink of defeat.
But, it seems, the Clams have again evolved. According to my contacts, the Clam Overmind, in a last-ditch effort to prevent its race's destruction, has sent deadly, shape-shifting Clam assassins back in time to the present. Their mission is very simple: to find and kill the man they know only as "Calm," before he can become a threat to them.
And now...they have apparently succeeded. Calm has disappeared from the face of the Earth--in his place sits now a devious, shape-shifting future Clam--an "inter.Clam" with neither Starcraft skills, nor tactical knowledge and insight.
As far as I can tell, the replacement was carried out flawlessly--there are no discernible physical signs or markers, besides the lack of Starcraft skills, which could possibly give this imposter away. If it wasn't for that one, fateful typo (left by my contacts for anyone wise enough to discover it), we would still be in the dark now. But now that we know the truth...what next?
I do not know what happened to Calm on that fateful afternoon in the restaurant bathroom; I don't know whether or not he is alive or dead right now. Perhaps he escaped the Clams' attacks, and is now hiding out in the Korean underground, biding his time; perhaps my contacts were able to get to him first and have whisked him away to a safe location; or perhaps, it was indeed the Clam assassin who got to him first, and Calm's body now lies somewhere in the Seoul sewer system.
Either way, one thing is certain: the future now, for both humanity and STX, looks grim.
If you need me, I'll be out in tide-pools stabbing clams...to even the odds a little.
EPT![[image loading]](http://www.teamliquid.net/staff/DoctorHelvetica/blogz/interclam.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i46.tinypic.com/2myqogg.jpg)
