Hello again, as you all know iccup is still going strong, which means the legions of raging prepubescent nerds are still as obnoxious and plentiful as ever.
I don't like to respond to bad manner with my own, I'm sure you've all heard the old saying of being brought down to their level and beaten with experience. So instead I present my arguments calmly and logically, in a futile attempt to educate the ignorant masses on the finer points of this excellent game.
Firstly, the rage-quitters (i.e. hopeless cases). How am I suppose to extend a helping hand to that which is not there?
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There is deep poetic meaning here, I wouldn't look for it if you're the type who wears caps backwards though.
People who ask questions then leave instantly, they just want to slam the door in your face. I'm surprised they don't get their penis trapped though, you have to be a huge dick to show such utter disrespect to a stranger.
This is the most common thing I hear. It's nice that people on iccup always tell me how lucky I am, why thank you very much!
Mental breakdown ensues as he comes to the grim realization that he has become enraged over a video game.
Actually I'm lying, while he was typing he lost all his probes to a storm drop.
Someone quickly tell this guy the good news!
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The :o face gives me the impression he suddenly had an epiphany. "So THAT'S why I always lose, I knew I wasn't just bad!"
Looking at the new Psionic Storm, this guy must be on the SC2 balance team.
And finally, by far my favourite excuse of all time.
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So it's a PvZ on Heartbreak Ridge, I'm Protoss on the right, he's zerg on the left. Probably D rank because I love to bash newbies almost as much as I love eating babies.
But wait what's this?
Total losses: 8 probes and 1 cannon that wasn't cancelled in time.
He's complaining about the map, even though it just helped him out? Well I guess this must be pre-emptive excuse making, a strong technique so take note.
So after that main base carnage the game settles down a bit, we have some unimportant chatter and I just do some sort of speed zealot attack.
If you just keep blaming the map for everything, eventually you could be right.
While all his units were at his third, DTs walked into his main and natural to hack at drones.
Hey don't berate me for this, I'm just stating the facts.
If you can guess what the final excuse he'll make for losing is, you win a cookie. It's not the map by the way.