An update to a previous blog. If you’re interested, at http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?topic_id=93554
I headed downtown to meet up with a small group of friends for a night out. It was more convenient for them to stay downtown, so I had to go along with their plan. I live in the suburbs and prefer not venturing downtown. It takes a while, traffic is bad, and the streets are dirty. To avoid the agitating traffic and satisfy my own preference for not driving, I decided to take public transit to get there.
I do not venture downtown very often, nor use buses. When I arrived at the destination subway stop, I misread the directions and accidentally exited the station, when I should have stayed in and transfer on a bus. I called my friend to see what I could do, and she told me the meeting place was walkable.
Me, being the hardcore no-complaint trekker, took the 20-minute walk and got to the restaurant in time, although heading the wrong way in the process. I was used to getting lost in strange places – but in the end I always find the right way, purely through my logical observations and puzzle solving ability. Maybe asking for directions is more efficient, but I suppose that is a last resort for me. Along the way, I began to doubt my decision on going there. It was an inconvenient trip, I was getting lightly drizzled by rain, and I was stressing for being a fool in getting lost and distraught. In the end, it was a good thing I did go; I knew I desperately needed these outings. As someone once advised me, the more I refused these sorts of opportunities, the less likely I would be invited for future gatherings.
The next day was Canada Day, when we would be free off work and took the chance to stay a bit late. We had a good meal, took a walk along the street, and sat down for a light drinks during the night. The group consisted of five, 2 guys and 3 girls, later joined by 1 more girl. The target of my desire was in this group. After we finished our drinks at the last stop, we headed back to the car where one driver drove two of us to the subway station.
After I finished my beer, I knew I had to go the washroom. For some reason, I decided to not hold up the group as we headed for the car. I thought I would be able to hold it in at least to the subway station. It would be me and my affected girl getting off there and travel together on the subway. As we were walking through the subway station, I was looking for a washroom. To my great dismay, there were none. By the time we got to the platform, I needed to go rather badly. I asked the girl whether she would wait if I had to go out of the station to find a washroom. Understandably, it was getting late, and she would rather catch the next train. I fled back up the stairs to ask the ticket vendor whether any such facilities were available. I knew the trains were coming, and the girl would be gone.
I was told there were none there. Hurriedly I made my way back to the platform, when I heard the sound of the next train approaching. I manicly dashed down the stairs in an attempt to catch the train, not wanting to be left behind without even saying goodbye. To my huge relief I barely made it into the train just in time. I looked through the car I was in for the girl. She wasn’t in here. I knew, based on where we were standing previously, she was most likely in this car or the next one beside it.
The cars on the train were not interconnecting for passengers. At the next stop, I jumped out of my current car and entered the next one. I started to walk my way down and quickly found the girl sitting at the seat. I approached, she looked up, and was quite surprised to see me. I sat down beside her and laughed about my close encounter.
As I was walking up, before she saw me, she was starting to put on her headphones. She left them off as we sat there and shared slight conversation. As the stations ticked by, I knew my time was running out. Here was my perfect opportunity I was waiting for to say what I needed to say. My heart sped up for one moment, then settled down as I readied myself. As the speakers announced the next transfer station stop we would be getting off at, I turned towards her and said softly, “I promised myself I would say this the next time I had the chance. I like you a lot.”
I was barely looking at her, but I seemed a sense of surprise. She responded, “I like you too.” I couldn’t tell if she thought I was drunk and meant it as a reassuring gesture of friendship, but for now I will assume that’s what it was. I was so caught up that I nearly forgot I too had to transfer trains, and that we would be leaving the car together. Luckily she reminded me and we got off.
Interrupted by the shift in focus, some conversation about the nuances of the subway stations ensued. Keep in mind right now, I still had to use the bathroom badly. I followed the signs to the nearest washroom, and I headed quickly for it once I found it, wishing she would be nearby when I got out. I stood at the urinal, and to my great annoyance, my urination volume was rather substantial, as is the case when you have had to delay the urge for a bit. I was squeezing it out as fast as I could, knowing that by the next train arrival, the girl would be gone. It just keeping pouring out seemingly without end. Finally the drops slowed, I zipped up, and ran out onto the platform.
I scanned the platform for the girl. This was the location of her transfer (not mine). I walked down the station quickly to look for her, but did not see her. I considered perhaps she had also used the bathroom herself; there wasn’t much place to hide if she was indeed getting on this next car.
I was unable to find her, and was saddened by my chance to say goodbye. I stood for there for a bit at the most likely position I would expect her to be, looking. Soon I could hear the sound of her train approaching. I scanned the crowd one more time and could see her in one of the lineups waiting to board. I waved at her, but she didn’t. My thoughts raced quickly – my final window was closing quick. I briskly walked up to her place. She got on the car. By the time I got to the doors, everyone had boarded. It took me a moment to spot where she had settled. She was sitting in the seats right by the door. As the sounds for door closing warnings rang, I called out her name. I did not want to board and go in to meet her, as this was not my train. She looked around for the source that had called her name. By the time she spotted me outside, the doors were closed and she say me through the glass. I smiled and waved one more time. This time her reaction I was unable to read well, as the moment was very brief, but I know she saw me.
Once the train started moving, I began walking myself in the other direction. In general, the chances dealt by fate are agonizing. But once in a while, circumstances actually do happen as people wish for them to. I was greatly pleased by my fortune that night. I headed over to my own platform direction, with a grin on my face. I was proud of what I did, even though in the end it was inconclusive. I could always clarify things later, and at least it wasn’t outright rejection. The train pulled up and I put on my own headphones. I was whisked off into the night, hoping my impression was favourable. Right now, I was content with baby steps.