EPTITS JUST YOU, you do not lose control of you because everything you do is based on what you want.
Controlling Yourself - Page 2
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Hypnosis
United States2061 Posts
ITS JUST YOU, you do not lose control of you because everything you do is based on what you want. | ||
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Chef
10810 Posts
 I know some people like that theory, but don't think it's so bullet proof in every situation. | ||
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Krohm
Canada1857 Posts
On July 04 2008 06:52 PsycHOTemplar wrote: She meant are you able to suppress your urge to hurt people, knowing that that's actually fucking stupid and detrimental to key principals of life (procreation and self-preservation). If you want to hurt people, and get into a lot of fights because of it, you aren't going to live long. Every guy has testosterone, and gets annoyed with people, and wants to be the alpha male, so I don't know if what you have is actually some kind of sadism mental disorder, or you being a dumb ass who doesn't realise his feelings are perfectly ordinary. Self-control just means not giving into urges with very short term benefits in favour of those with long term benefits. EX: I punched a guy in the face, that felt good, I relieved some stress, oh shit, he wants to fight and he's got a knife, guess that was a bad idea after all. Also, I'd rather not get punched in the face randomly by some dude with the same urges as me, so as a mutual unspoken understanding, neither of us will randomly hit each other. PS: Yeah, I only read the OP. I advise you read my last post. (Above this one, and by that I mean the one I quoted.) | ||
Jibba
United States22883 Posts
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Cloud
Sexico5880 Posts
Yes everybody does what they think its best to do, what they want the most to do, always. But well, rarely ever does one know what he really wants. | ||
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MrRammstein
Poland339 Posts
I stopped reading after 4 HeavOnEarth's posts (for now), those 1 after another and you know... there should be a blog how to talk about things you want to with other people, keeping the best form there can be at the same time because I find it hard to do too... that's why I visit my psychologist every week. DUDE 1ST TIME I WENT TO HER WASN'T BECAUSE I WANTED my mother arranged that, asked me to go (mostly because she has problem with talking about hard things herself). I'm proud to say that without any drugs I was pulled out from big depression, suicidal thoughts, not eating leading to getting dizzy every time I stood up too fast, wasting chances of getting little more socialized with people in high school during my freshman year (even tho 192cm height made half of class vote on me as class rep!) only because I was so strongly convinced I would fail any expectations. Psychologist helped me enough that when after one summer I realized I forgot about meeting weeks earlier and that didn't send any SMS to apologize I stopped going to her out of blue because I couldn't look at her (and she isn't half-naked hawt nimfo, she's 50something with 2 mature kids and some health problems). But later I called her, apologized and arranged meeting myself. This makes more than 2 years I know her, not counting break. Pretty much there was a time she kept me alive by 1h meeting/week. | ||
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MrRammstein
Poland339 Posts
On July 04 2008 06:56 Hypnosis wrote: Nobody does something because of someone else its that simple. think about logically, say you insult someone: it makes you either a) feel better b) convey something that bothers YOU c) means nothing d) affects you. People are not doing things because of you. Someone calling you does not call you because of you, its because they decided calling you would be of some value to THEM to call you. A guy calls a girl because they want to have sex with that girl in the future. a guy is nice to someone because he thinks its a wise choice for the future and HIS image. Humans are not for other humans, they are all alone. people are nice to people because they value themselves and do not want that other person to hate them, which is good for them... so they are not hurtful to other people. People kill people to not die themselves, or because they want to feel better about THEMSELVES or because they do not care about their own life enough to care about others. you only value other people as much as you value YOURSELF. Have you noticed how nice happy people are? its because they value themselves alot so they value other people alot. Its a wierd way of thinking but it all boils down to... ITS JUST YOU, you do not lose control of you because everything you do is based on what you want. Really good points but they don't tell how to release pretty common urges in other ways. How not to keep them in, when reasons (personal causes?) aren't as easy to solve. My way is shitloads of music among few other things and when I posted my comment and was finishing to read the rest of the thread I realized / remembered my own nick here is something more than just 1 friend calling me that when I said, I like Rammstein. In bad, dark times thanks too their music (and Cradle Of Filth kind of too) I could fell asleep; going skiing one time made me pissed because after borrowing discman and putting my batteries in along with CD of 4 Herzeleid to Reise Reise albums made me fall asleep completely without realizing that, after like 3rd-5th song of Herzeleid and awake like 2 before end of Reise Reise, not long later batteries died. Khorm 1 thing I think would make more responses in this thread (even) better is saving original OP but pushed on the end and spoilered with notification thread started from it, putting at the beginning: + Show Spoiler + Thanks for all the responses. misterrobot you've by far had the best one. The reason why I used the issue within the issue is because its an extreme one. I didn't want to use something silly such as "I want to steal a chocolate bar from the store." because that just sounds stupid. It's really a very complex thing to explain. It's not as simple as I may have made it sound. Hurting the people I love in a direct way, would be something I would never do. This also applies to people I know. And I don't have the urge to just go outside and starting beating some random person. No. It's much more deeper than that. I'm not some angst ridden teenager either. I've had some very bad mental issues growing up for as long as I can remember. From, be it whatever. Upbringing, family, general life, genetics, etc. It's not like I'm just angry at the world and want it to die because my mom wouldn't let me play a video game... Now the really odd thing about that is the fact that my little sister and brother are the exact same way as me. You may assume its because of me, and I've "rubbed" off onto them. But its not the case. I have only lived with them during a very short time frame. They lived with my mother, I lived with my grandma. Since I was about 5. Therefore my sister was only age 2 when I lived with her. So thats not the reason behind it. I'm interested to know why they turned out that way as well. It's strange. But people really have nothing to fear. By the definition of control, I am in control of myself. On July 04 2008 00:36 Kingsp4de20 wrote: I cant say ive ever woken upafter a rough night of drinking and said “I didn’t mean to sleep with that guy” mabye you need to control yourself or just stop sleeping with guys either or Why do you associate drinking with sleeping with some guy? Should I have made the paragraph space between the two points bigger? What motivated the "Sleeping with that guy" point. Is the fact that my ex-girlfriend cheated on me at one point. But she always tried to deflect blame off herself by saying "It was a mistake, I wasn't in control." etc. It was annoying, and pathetic that she refused to take any blame for it. (Don't take this as anyway behind my "issue". I was like that long before I even met her. I would say it really didn't help though.) Now the being drunk part was a separate motivation as well. I frequently hear people say they made some sort of mistake while they were drunk. Now maybe the were not in control by a definition of control. Yet at that moment, they still did what they wanted to do. And HeavOnEarth the true issue I was attempting bringing up was just about control and society. I wanted to see what people really thought of the meaning "Control yourself". I wanted to see what other people thought, and I've got some very good answers from majority of you. Even though you were sort of being a dick, I was hoping I would get such a response. P.S: I read all your posts, wheres my cookie? | ||
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HeavOnEarth
United States7087 Posts
On July 04 2008 05:24 Krohm wrote: Thanks for all the responses. misterrobot you've by far had the best one. The reason why I used the issue within the issue is because its an extreme one. I didn't want to use something silly such as "I want to steal a chocolate bar from the store." because that just sounds stupid. It's really a very complex thing to explain. It's not as simple as I may have made it sound. Hurting the people I love in a direct way, would be something I would never do. This also applies to people I know. And I don't have the urge to just go outside and starting beating some random person. No. It's much more deeper than that. I'm not some angst ridden teenager either. I've had some very bad mental issues growing up for as long as I can remember. From, be it whatever. Upbringing, family, general life, genetics, etc. It's not like I'm just angry at the world and want it to die because my mom wouldn't let me play a video game... Now the really odd thing about that is the fact that my little sister and brother are the exact same way as me. You may assume its because of me, and I've "rubbed" off onto them. But its not the case. I have only lived with them during a very short time frame. They lived with my mother, I lived with my grandma. Since I was about 5. Therefore my sister was only age 2 when I lived with her. So thats not the reason behind it. I'm interested to know why they turned out that way as well. It's strange. But people really have nothing to fear. By the definition of control, I am in control of myself. Why do you associate drinking with sleeping with some guy? Should I have made the paragraph space between the two points bigger? What motivated the "Sleeping with that guy" point. Is the fact that my ex-girlfriend cheated on me at one point. But she always tried to deflect blame off herself by saying "It was a mistake, I wasn't in control." etc. It was annoying, and pathetic that she refused to take any blame for it. (Don't take this as anyway behind my "issue". I was like that long before I even met her. I would say it really didn't help though.) Now the being drunk part was a separate motivation as well. I frequently hear people say they made some sort of mistake while they were drunk. Now maybe the were not in control by a definition of control. Yet at that moment, they still did what they wanted to do. And HeavOnEarth the true issue I was attempting bringing up was just about control and society. I wanted to see what people really thought of the meaning "Control yourself". I wanted to see what other people thought, and I've got some very good answers from majority of you. Even though you were sort of being a dick, I was hoping I would get such a response. P.S: I read all your posts, wheres my cookie? HEY I WAS TRYING TO BE A FULL FLEDGED DICK GET IT STRAIGHT YO and um here u go ![[image loading]](http://sanseverything.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/cookie-monster3.jpg) | ||
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Mooga
United States575 Posts
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Hippopotamus
1914 Posts
I was having a conversation with a girl over MSN a few days ago, when I started to explain to her how my mental situation was. There is a major part of me that wants to hurt people. I want them to die. I told her this, in those inexact words. She understood to a degree and she asked me the question. “Can you control it?” Now she asked it in such a way that makes me believe that by me doing those things, I am “Out of control.” That's not an issue, that is a blessing! May I interest you in the following job?. Althought for optimal results you should move to the United States and take this one. | ||
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Chef
10810 Posts
On July 05 2008 00:03 Mooga wrote: "Force, my friends, is violence, the supreme authority from which all other authority is derived. Naked force has resolved more issues throughout history than any other factor, contrary to the popular belief that violence has never solved anything. Wishful thinking at its worst. People who forget that always pay." Is that from StarShip Troopers? lol | ||
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Krohm
Canada1857 Posts
On July 05 2008 01:07 Hippopotamus wrote: That's not an issue, that is a blessing! May I interest you in the following job?. Althought for optimal results you should move to the United States and take this one. I'd go with Canada, it pays better. On a serious note though, I have debated joining some sort of branch of the Army just for the purpose of it would give me something to do for a few years. On top of that they would pay for all the college I need. (Which is a lot.) I really ironic thing behind all of this, is the fact that I am going to become a psychologist. It's always been a really firm passion of mine. Haha if that is actually from StarShip Troopers it's a pretty good saying. However, it doesn't apply in my case. Any sort of violence is really detrimental when it boils down to a single persons actions. | ||
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Mooga
United States575 Posts
The human race as a whole is very fucked up, just take a look around. Homicidal thoughts are more common than you seem to believe. | ||
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Jibba
United States22883 Posts
On July 05 2008 08:16 Mooga wrote: Animals as a whole are very fucked up, just take a look around. Homicidal thoughts are more common than you seem to believe. Fixed it for you. | ||
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anotak
United States1537 Posts
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Divinek
Canada4045 Posts
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HeavOnEarth
United States7087 Posts
On July 05 2008 16:57 Divinek wrote: I personally like to read well presented arguements that don't have periods rammed in every possible crevice. The dangers of misuse and overuse! That's what it was! I swear it was like a subliminal message that made me get pissed for no reason before i read this. | ||
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Krohm
Canada1857 Posts
On July 05 2008 16:57 Divinek wrote: I personally like to read well presented arguements that don't have periods rammed in every possible crevice. The dangers of misuse and overuse! I won't lie, I fail at punctuality. I honestly don't see what the problem is though. It's fairly condescending of one to completely dismiss some ones writing, just because of too many periods. We're on a forum for Christs sake. We're not in Grammar, and Punctuality Nazi Land... Oh wait a minute... I also write as I think which means I frequently come to a stop, hence the amount of periods. I don't bother going over punctuality. (Since like I said, I fail at it.) Only any sort of typos that may have evaded me. If you're not going to bother discussing anything. Other than some cheap "crack" at my overuse of periods, then don't post anything at all. | ||
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nA.Inky
United States794 Posts
Control implies a thing to be controlled and a thing to do the controlling. "Self" implies a unified, singular being; the subject, "I." Self-control is a strange idea, because it would imply that the self is fragmented, NOT unified, NOT singular... not to be called "I" - perhaps there is no "self" to control, but rather a bunch of competing fragments, each trying to control the other... People think of themselves as the mind within the body; the mind and body are separate. The mind (the self) controls the body. So already there is no self; there is a mind and a body, two distinct beings. The body tries to control the mind, to kill, to fuck, etc. The mind tries to control the body, to conform to society, to defer gratification for a future reward, etc. I don't even think of Mind as a unified being. Do you control your mind? Can "you" will "yourself" to stop thinking? Or is it more your experience that thoughts come to you of their own free will? If "you" can't stop thinking, then are "you" in control of "your" own mind? People really do have an urge to fit into society. The "self" wants to fit into society, and so it conforms to society's rules. But the "self" also wants to kill people and fuck and do whatever... This is Freudian, the classic battle of id (primal self) vs super-ego (societal self). The point is, there are multiple selves, battling each other. There is no "I," only "us." There is no "I" to control "myself." ("Myself" - a thing that belongs to itself - a weird idea.) More about control: where does the urge to control come from? We act with intention in the world, but our actions carry unintended consequences, and the world itself is chaotic. The consequences of our actions and the actions of others affect us, and affect what we think. One only frets over having a college education because society has placed some value on having a college education. So "controllling oneself" for the purpose of becoming educated is not really self-control, since society, in some way, influenced you to want to do that. In a way, this is being controlled by society. Similarly, the urge to kill doesn't arise in a vacuum. Perhaps people irritate you in some way, or the setting you find yourself in causes you to find other people irritating. Again, you are influenced, and so it is not merely the mind exercising control, but rather the total situation influencing you. In short, our language causes us to think in certain ways that are in opposition to how reality works. There is no unified self, and control is largely an illusion, though I would maintain we aren't determined either (this is a fine line to walk, admittedly). | ||
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Hypnosis
United States2061 Posts
On July 04 2008 07:01 PsycHOTemplar wrote: Hypnosis, what happens when someone sacrifices their life for someone, like their spouse, their child, or their country? Are they just deviants and crazies? I know some people like that theory, but don't think it's so bullet proof in every situation.Well its the fundamental basis of how humans are naturally. of course its not bullet proof but as far as sacrifice goes i think you would only value someone else's life as much as you value your own. if you value yours you know that sacrificing it for someone else would be worth it inside yourself. It has nothing to do with them, its all you. On July 04 2008 17:10 MrRammstein wrote: Really good points but they don't tell how to release pretty common urges in other ways. How not to keep them in, when reasons (personal causes?) aren't as easy to solve. My way is shitloads of music among few other things and when I posted my comment and was finishing to read the rest of the thread I realized / remembered my own nick here is something more than just 1 friend calling me that when I said, I like Rammstein. In bad, dark times thanks too their music (and Cradle Of Filth kind of too) I could fell asleep; going skiing one time made me pissed because after borrowing discman and putting my batteries in along with CD of 4 Herzeleid to Reise Reise albums made me fall asleep completely without realizing that, after like 3rd-5th song of Herzeleid and awake like 2 before end of Reise Reise, not long later batteries died. Khorm 1 thing I think would make more responses in this thread (even) better is saving original OP but pushed on the end and spoilered with notification thread started from it, putting at the beginning: + Show Spoiler + Thanks for all the responses. misterrobot you've by far had the best one. The reason why I used the issue within the issue is because its an extreme one. I didn't want to use something silly such as "I want to steal a chocolate bar from the store." because that just sounds stupid. It's really a very complex thing to explain. It's not as simple as I may have made it sound. Hurting the people I love in a direct way, would be something I would never do. This also applies to people I know. And I don't have the urge to just go outside and starting beating some random person. No. It's much more deeper than that. I'm not some angst ridden teenager either. I've had some very bad mental issues growing up for as long as I can remember. From, be it whatever. Upbringing, family, general life, genetics, etc. It's not like I'm just angry at the world and want it to die because my mom wouldn't let me play a video game... Now the really odd thing about that is the fact that my little sister and brother are the exact same way as me. You may assume its because of me, and I've "rubbed" off onto them. But its not the case. I have only lived with them during a very short time frame. They lived with my mother, I lived with my grandma. Since I was about 5. Therefore my sister was only age 2 when I lived with her. So thats not the reason behind it. I'm interested to know why they turned out that way as well. It's strange. But people really have nothing to fear. By the definition of control, I am in control of myself. On July 04 2008 00:36 Kingsp4de20 wrote: I cant say ive ever woken upafter a rough night of drinking and said “I didn’t mean to sleep with that guy” mabye you need to control yourself or just stop sleeping with guys either or Why do you associate drinking with sleeping with some guy? Should I have made the paragraph space between the two points bigger? What motivated the "Sleeping with that guy" point. Is the fact that my ex-girlfriend cheated on me at one point. But she always tried to deflect blame off herself by saying "It was a mistake, I wasn't in control." etc. It was annoying, and pathetic that she refused to take any blame for it. (Don't take this as anyway behind my "issue". I was like that long before I even met her. I would say it really didn't help though.) Now the being drunk part was a separate motivation as well. I frequently hear people say they made some sort of mistake while they were drunk. Now maybe the were not in control by a definition of control. Yet at that moment, they still did what they wanted to do. And HeavOnEarth the true issue I was attempting bringing up was just about control and society. I wanted to see what people really thought of the meaning "Control yourself". I wanted to see what other people thought, and I've got some very good answers from majority of you. Even though you were sort of being a dick, I was hoping I would get such a response. P.S: I read all your posts, wheres my cookie? Its just a way of living that makes you completely at peace in your own head because deep down you know that you control your life and what happens in it. Yes you do get depressed and such sometimes but if you think deeply enough about how things work it wont happen as often. Music is great for expressing emotions to yourself, which is what matters when you are upset. | ||
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