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Before I begin explaining this, I want to just say. That the issue within the issue I’m bringing up, is not what I would like to discuss under any circumstance during this. Maybe at a later time I will. Not now though, I want to talk about the issue I’m presenting.
I was having a conversation with a girl over MSN a few days ago, when I started to explain to her how my mental situation was. There is a major part of me that wants to hurt people. I want them to die. I told her this, in those inexact words. She understood to a degree and she asked me the question. “Can you control it?” Now she asked it in such a way that makes me believe that by me doing those things, I am “Out of control.”
Now why does this make me out of control. It makes me out of control because it doesn’t fit into proper society standards. Yet by my own definition doing those things would be perfectly normal. Since that is what I want to do, does it not make sense? So technically I am actually being “Out of control”. By not doing what I want to do. By my own definition of course.
That simple question has sparked a major event of thoughts in my mind. Mainly about what it truly means to control yourself. Are you ever actually in control? From a life standpoint. No, you can never control it. But by a mental standpoint. Maybe. The problem I’ve encountered is, when ever you do something. Or desire to do something, you do it. You truly wanted to do it. Therefore you’re controlling yourself by doing it. Can you ever truly not be in control of yourself?
Lots of people make “mistakes” when they are intoxicated to a degree, on any number of possible things. But being intoxicated only distorts your perception of reality, therefore you’re still doing what you wanted to do. Even though by a sober stand point you normally would not want to do such a thing. So I suppose in that sense you did lose control, but technically you have not. Even if you were angry, and did something out of anger. You are still doing what you wanted to do in that moment. You did not lose control.
The mistake, people often make mistakes. There are two kinds of mistakes. An “Oops I spilt my drink” mistake, and an “I didn’t mean to sleep with that guy” mistake. Now there is a clear divide between the two. I’m talking about the second mistake. Since the first one is truly an accident that was not intentional. Now the second mistake, isn’t an accident. You didn’t lose control of yourself, and do that. You did it because you wanted to do it at the time. So maybe in a past tense it was a mistake, but still. You wanted to do it at the time, and that’s what really matters. You were in control of yourself, and you always have been.
My point being behind all of this is the fact that the term “Controlling yourself” is a useless term. It’s only created around what is right and what is wrong within societies standards. Regardless of what you do. You are always controlling yourself. You never lose control. You do what you want to do.
 
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come on, kill me. I dare ya!
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if you werent so damn clumsy, you wouldnt be spilling your drink
control yourself
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On July 03 2008 20:13 Therapy wrote:
grow up.
On July 03 2008 20:24 gg_hertzz wrote:
come on, kill me. I dare ya!
Two people who can't read the first paragraph. Winners.
I'd also like to thank either three of you for the 1 you decided to rate my blog.
Update:
1 New PM!
From: kpcrew(Gg)
Subject: quit
Date: 7/3/08 20:33
your blog sucks
you suck
quit tl
End PM
I can see you're going to be a great poster for this community.
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On July 03 2008 20:27 Krohm wrote:
Update:
1 New PM!
From: kpcrew(Gg)
Subject: quit
Date: 7/3/08 20:33
your blog sucks
you suck
quit tl
End PM
I can see you're going to be a great poster for this community.
I thought it was funny. But it may have been more offensive to you.
On topic though, I disagree.
My point being behind all of this is the fact that the term “Controlling yourself” is a useless term. It’s only created around what is right and what is wrong within societies standards. Regardless of what you do. You are always controlling yourself. You never lose control. You do what you want to do.
IMO, "Controlling Yourself" refers to your ability to make wise decisions rather than rash, generally ill-thought ones. Obviously, you're always in control of your actions; nobody's casting mind control on you. It's a phrase with a non-literal meaning.
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Before saying anything, i would just liek to say nothing i say should be analzed cause uh, i don't want you to and im too scared of getting flamed to tell anyone - (my horrible attempt at mimicking the disclaimer you made )
Don't mistake me, i like how you presented the OP and the write up, but i found it extremely irritating and misinformed, and spraying bullshit without anything in context with it to provide an example for.
So, ..
tell us ur actual issues , everyone has their own philosophy on things and i doubt they'll want to hear one from someone who won't even provide the actual issue you have
quote, frankly," you are always controlling yourself" is utter bullshit , especially for people with mental conditions
-it's more like you need to "grow up" and estimate the risk of doing something (or being intoxicated)
if you cant handle it, don't drink
plain and simple
and i doubt anyone on tl gives a shit about society standards so.. yeah
and if you want to hurt people, especially people you care about( girlfriend?) yet you think its perfectly normal then you have really fucking low standards and need to change
- my attempts to give advice for your issues you refused to bring up.
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everyone has urges to do anything ; what i think ur trying to grasp is self control
EVERYONE has urges to do something; from the warped serial killer to the church nun; it's how you react on it that makes you what u are
and what's this "since u wanted to do it in that moment" you actually REALLY want to do it
no. fuck no.
if you want to hurt everyone you love and
ur not angry,
or not caught up in the moment , that's a fucking psychopathic train of thought u need to ditch
however if theres a misunderstanding or conflict of morals , etc , and you fight, it's not YOUR thinking, OR wanting to do it, it's just the only way u can act of out spite of the given situation
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So to sum it up,
you are never always"in control", but u can avoid those situations of u have half a brain and some logic
just because you do something out of spite in a given moment , that doesn't define who you are, and never "wanted" to do it ; it was just lack of self control
likewise if you think of something bad you want to do, that doesn't define you either, everyone has warped thoughts , doesn't mean you want to do them
also what the fuck , "ohh i want to hurt and kill everyone but i shouldnt because its not normal"
What kind of statement is that?
yet again, giving all these viewpoints (that are ridiculous) without ANY examples is just pathetic
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Before I begin explaining this, I want to just say. That the issue within the issue I’m bringing up, is not what I would like to discuss under any circumstance during this. Maybe at a later time I will. Not now though, I want to talk about the issue I’m presenting.
.................then why even present the issue(s), it has no point
Now why does this make me out of control. It makes me out of control because it doesn’t fit into proper society standards. Yet by my own definition doing those things would be perfectly normal.
Since that is what I want to do, does it not make sense? So technically I am actually being “Out of control”. By not doing what I want to do. By my own definition of course.
That's just sad , you thinking attacking people for no reason( none that you give anyways ) is even warranted because of your own beliefs.
Even if you were angry, and did something out of anger. You are [still doing what you wanted to do in that moment. You did not lose control.
not losing control when you are angry, rofl, what a load of shit, seriously.
You did it because you wanted to do it at the time. So maybe in a past tense it was a mistake, but still. You wanted to do it at the time, and that’s what really matters. You were in control of yourself, and you always have been.
Have you ever even been drunk before -_-; ( but YET AGAIN, i can't say anything since you give no circumstance)
Lots of people make “mistakes” when they are intoxicated to a degree, on any number of possible things. But being intoxicated only distorts your perception of reality, therefore you’re still doing what you wanted to do.
No, you just followed your feelings, last i checked , my dick, doesn't decide what i want.
“Controlling yourself” is a useless term.
Controlling yourself is not a useless term, it's called maturity, when you grow up, you get self control.
You are always controlling yourself. You never lose control.You do what you want to do.
Also that tricolon was just an annoying redundant way to say the same thing 3 times
I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS ABOUT THE OP THAT PISSES ME OFF 
and so i apologize if i was too harsh.
but i was not just trying to contradict every point you made, i just literally don't agree with anything, at all.
also if you actually read all that , you can have a cookie 
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wow 4 massive posts?
i agree with blogposter.. you are always in control. But its you who is changing. And we dont control ourselves changing 
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We shouldnt recreate anger of the non-virtual world
lol i love your quote wo0py
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Don't raise your fist in anger
Raise your spirit instead
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Now why does this make me out of control. It makes me out of control because it doesn’t fit into proper society standards. Yet by my own definition doing those things would be perfectly normal.
Since that is what I want to do, does it not make sense? So technically I am actually being “Out of control”. By not doing what I want to do. By my own definition of course.
That's just sad , you thinking attacking people for no reason( none that you give anyways ) is even warranted because of your own beliefs.
You bring up a very interesting point, because many, many people do things because of what they believe. Some people sincerely believe that things like child prostitution, pirating of software/etc. (some just don't care) is okay. However, this doesn't necessarily make a certain action right or acceptable. (I'm assuming you believe in right and wrong since you think attacking people for no reason is wrong.) So you may think that attacking people for no reason is common sense, but this isn't true globally. So either society (or your family) has taught you these values or you have some sort of intrinsic moral obligation to these values.
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well youre right about what youre saying about our societies standards etc
The question remains though: WHY do you want to kill other people?
This seems alot like some "phase" in your teenage life that will pass fast; you are probably angry at your parents and at the world.
gluck!
edit: oh wait youre not a teenager....oh well. gluck killing people
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I cant say ive ever woken upafter a rough night of drinking and said
“I didn’t mean to sleep with that guy”
mabye you need to control yourself
or just stop sleeping with guys
either or
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maybe being "in control" is being under societies control. Being out of control is doing whatever you want... probably wrong..
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I don't think that anyone has complete control of themselves. there is a part of our mind that is called the subconcious. You know how people often say that we only control 10% of our brain? Well that's partly true, since the other 90% is handled by the subconcious and is can not be perceived by your concious mind. For example, you don't have to think about your heart beating for it to do so. It's automatic, and thankfully so. The subconcious is also the source of our primary pulsions: mainly the pulsion to eat and the pulsion to reproduce.
There are two types of pulsions: those that drive one to life and those that drive one to death/non-existence. Eating and reproducing fall in the first category while fighting and self-harming behaviors fall in the second. It may surprise you, but the pulsion to hurt other people is part of human nature. Even though some may deny it, we all have that pulsion at times. It may not be concious, but it's certainly there. That's how we, as a species, came to be dominant on this planet. It has also caused us a good amount of strife, to be sure, but we managed to learn of ways to channel that aggressivity in productive ways. Surgeons are some of the most sadistic people there are, yet they turn that sadism into life-saving procedures.
If you were out of control, you would have acted on those instincts of destruction. Yet, you didn't. You say that the only reason why you don't act on your desire to harm people is because it wouldn't be acceptable for society. It is an acceptable reason, but not very moral IMO. As chromine said, you must be guided by your values when you decide not to hurt people for no reason.
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Thanks for all the responses. misterrobot you've by far had the best one.
The reason why I used the issue within the issue is because its an extreme one. I didn't want to use something silly such as "I want to steal a chocolate bar from the store." because that just sounds stupid.
It's really a very complex thing to explain. It's not as simple as I may have made it sound. Hurting the people I love in a direct way, would be something I would never do. This also applies to people I know. And I don't have the urge to just go outside and starting beating some random person. No. It's much more deeper than that.
I'm not some angst ridden teenager either. I've had some very bad mental issues growing up for as long as I can remember. From, be it whatever. Upbringing, family, general life, genetics, etc. It's not like I'm just angry at the world and want it to die because my mom wouldn't let me play a video game...
Now the really odd thing about that is the fact that my little sister and brother are the exact same way as me. You may assume its because of me, and I've "rubbed" off onto them. But its not the case. I have only lived with them during a very short time frame. They lived with my mother, I lived with my grandma. Since I was about 5. Therefore my sister was only age 2 when I lived with her. So thats not the reason behind it. I'm interested to know why they turned out that way as well. It's strange.
But people really have nothing to fear. By the definition of control, I am in control of myself.
On July 04 2008 00:36 Kingsp4de20 wrote:
I cant say ive ever woken upafter a rough night of drinking and said
“I didn’t mean to sleep with that guy”
mabye you need to control yourself
or just stop sleeping with guys
either or
Why do you associate drinking with sleeping with some guy? Should I have made the paragraph space between the two points bigger?
What motivated the "Sleeping with that guy" point. Is the fact that my ex-girlfriend cheated on me at one point. But she always tried to deflect blame off herself by saying "It was a mistake, I wasn't in control." etc. It was annoying, and pathetic that she refused to take any blame for it. (Don't take this as anyway behind my "issue". I was like that long before I even met her. I would say it really didn't help though.)
Now the being drunk part was a separate motivation as well. I frequently hear people say they made some sort of mistake while they were drunk. Now maybe the were not in control by a definition of control. Yet at that moment, they still did what they wanted to do.
And HeavOnEarth the true issue I was attempting bringing up was just about control and society. I wanted to see what people really thought of the meaning "Control yourself". I wanted to see what other people thought, and I've got some very good answers from majority of you. Even though you were sort of being a dick, I was hoping I would get such a response.
P.S: I read all your posts, wheres my cookie?
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My point being behind all of this is the fact that the term “Controlling yourself” is a useless term.
She meant are you able to suppress your urge to hurt people, knowing that that's actually fucking stupid and detrimental to key principals of life (procreation and self-preservation). If you want to hurt people, and get into a lot of fights because of it, you aren't going to live long. Every guy has testosterone, and gets annoyed with people, and wants to be the alpha male, so I don't know if what you have is actually some kind of sadism mental disorder, or you being a dumb ass who doesn't realise his feelings are perfectly ordinary.
Self-control just means not giving into urges with very short term benefits in favour of those with long term benefits. EX: I punched a guy in the face, that felt good, I relieved some stress, oh shit, he wants to fight and he's got a knife, guess that was a bad idea after all. Also, I'd rather not get punched in the face randomly by some dude with the same urges as me, so as a mutual unspoken understanding, neither of us will randomly hit each other.
PS: Yeah, I only read the OP.
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EPT
