Before I start I just want to state that the purpose of this blog is to motivate me to write the idea below to at least a short story length. Making the intent public should put some much needed pressure on me. English is not my first language so it won't be very word heavy for sure.
I had this brilliant idea of turning the opening of the third season of My Little Pony : Friendship is Magic(The Crystal Empire P1&2) into a spy novel(story, mini-story? Whatever it ends up as)about a small task force successfully overtaking an entire city-state. Who watched the show knows what I'm talking about.
Before anything else I'll answer this question- "Why MLP" 1. The love-hate relationship of the entire internet seems like a great marketing tool. 2. It would feel like sacrilege to me to do something like this to any more established universe with the amount of effort I plan to put into this. As is, MLP universe is not only very underdeveloped but also treated very lightly by Hasbro themselves so WHATEVUR 3. I need to overcome my inability to come up with decent overarching plot and make stable characters
So the goal of this is to get some much needed writing practice while artfully dodging (for now) my biggest hindrance as mentioned above. I'm gonna use as little of the show as possible and focus on writing a coherent and interesting story that would appeal to anyone that enjoys reading silly fantasy(my writing can get VERY silly).
For now I'm adapting the characters and the universe for my own purposes. Will prolly end up with 9 main "agents" and some antagonists (3 should be a good number)
Here's some info: Genre: low fantasy, spy, intrigue, boundtobebad. Setting: Highly civilized low fantasy medieval(just gonna put whatever I need in there to make the world make sense but otherwise keep it as close to , say, 14th century Europe as possible. Will definitely make almost everyone literate and use some very powerful alchemy, no magic planned for now) Characters: Anyone from the episode is bound to be there, OC unavoidable
I'm gonna make character profiles now, this bureaucrat I am.
Wrote my first profile, so you can see a bit of my style. First draft rules apply, everything is subject to change
Name : Princess Celestia. I couldn't come up with anything before I wrote her, name ended up fitting after I wrote her. Role: Ruler of the Celestial Duchy(She's so humble!)
Her parents were the most powerful alchemists that ever lived long enough to leave documented work, so powerful they managed to create the Immortality Juice(it's a juice because it's almost exclusively extracts of plants and animals) which they promptly used on themselves AFTER testing it on their oldest daughter, now know almost exclusively as Celestia. Unluckily for them, the Juice stopped the ageing of a human body at around 29 year mark, which was fine for their child who was around 20 at the time, but turned out to be lethal for their own almost 40 year old selves. Celestia, for whom the effects of the marvelous potion were mostly pleasant, had to watch her parents start aging from inside out. What should have scared her mind forever made her attempt for the next 2 years to return them to life, fruitlessly. She mastered her parents research and in an attempt to recreate what killed them she fed the Immortality Juice to her younger sister, Vera, who of course turned out fine. Together they performed many experiments, never did they use anything on themselves before testing it very thoroughly though, forever in fear of their own creations.
Over hundreds of years the immortal sisters learned about their immortality, used their knowledge to become very influential and finally ended up being the rulers of the largest "Duchy", as they insisted to call it, in the known world. Soon after establishing their rule Vera went comatose after a failed experiment. Officially banished, she would remain asleep in a secret chamber for hundreds of years. Woken up in the end, she never was her old self and doesn't play a big role in, well, anything.
At the time of the story Celestia had been ruling the Celestial Duchy with an iron hand for six centuries, slowly conquering every neighbor. Slow enough for no mortal to ever remember more than two conquests, which were always in completely different parts of the world.
As every immortal ruler would be, Celestia is paranoid but without much excess (yet), requires absolute control over everything and seeks more and more exotic entertainments to keep her almost thousand years old self content. She got bored of court protocol many years ago, seeing it as a waste of time and now uses it only for security purposes, nobody will come within 20 meters of the princess during their first meeting, etc. She named herself Celestia to spite all the priests that tried to accuse her of witchcraft, probably 70 years into her rule. (gonna have to expand on that if I ever use her again)
Very patient when needed(politics), gets easily irritated when delays are caused by incompetence. All the mistakes she has made before made her plan way ahead, all the mistakes she saw others make helped her be always a step ahead of every mortal.
On February 12 2014 22:06 Targe wrote: u can do eet qbek!
just dont let it go the way of tumblr, or your quote and it may be the first MLP fanfic i read
Well one of the characters has already escaped my control, shit might go very wrong. The fact that the plot has been forever connected in my mind to Opeth's music gives me some hope
Here's the main 6 characters. I have a lot more about them in the back of my head, this is mostly written in case i go full retard and forget what I intended them to be like. This is also a big sign of things to come. I already ran a lot of trial conversations and they seem to gel decently.
TS None Yet Violetta Copperfield
Daughter of a minor noble, spent most of her childhood in her family's library(pride of the house), and stressing out about going to any sort of party(or whatever noblemen call those) her father happened to send her to. The definition of theoretical knowledge
She was put for a spot in the squad by her brother who climbed the ranks of the royal guard since he was 16, this will be her first mission. Her role being research and planning, her combat abilities are minimal.
She is still to earn a nickname, for now titled "newb"
Has a lot to prove and will be under heavy pressure at all time
RD "The Recon Dash" Anna Peaks
One of the only common people to reach world wide fame, Anna is an athlete on unparalleled speed and fame. She is so famous in fact, she often performs recon missions by saying "yo what is this place guys" to the guards and more often they not they drown her in info. Her fame is in fact so extreme the hardest part is actually relaying her info further without compromising the operation, which is usually bypassed by just giving autographs.
The "Recon Dash" was performed when she managed to train "obstacle running" on the battlements of a soon to be sieged fort. She also got the garrison commander to let her out via a secret passage. He was later reported to say that it was worth it. (Now the funny part is he meant that it actually saved a lot of lives, you fucking pervs). Anna Peaks is the largest star to ever live, famous for performing various athletic feats wherever she goes, and for going to a lot of weird places and buying a lot of weird things there.
Used to getting what she wants, needs strong leadership to avoid risk of compromising the operation with her recklessness. Has issues when being given anything other than a general task. (it's better to make her believe that it's her idea if you want her to do something in a specific way).
She is extravagant and is known for it, making her the best channel to legaly acquire equipment. Also will often smuggle through both agents as her friends and contraband as "souvenirs", not to mention messages
FS "Friendly Shake" (could have named her Shutter Fly, but that's probably already been done) Kathrin Cinthrea
The quartermaster of the group, Kate sees no locked doors. Neither windows or safes. Earned her name when she accomplished a crucial mission by performing a single "Friendly Handshake" on the target, stripping him of almost all of his possessions in mere 5 seconds. Called Shakey by friends, she is quick to lose her nerve, something many teachers tried to help her with over the years to no avail. Very quiet and generally introvert, she quietly prides herself to be "an unstoppable force". Rarely speaks on her own but can be very talkative when she does.
Rather short, wears long blonde-gray hair in a ponytail, only makes eye(gray/light blue) contact with her friends and victims.
And yeah that handshake, double the achievement seeing how shy she is
Originally started stealing because she was too shy to buy stuff, stealing was easier for her. (normally that doesn't actually happen as shy people are doubly scared of getting caught, gotta roll with it here thou)
RR "The Ransomer" Rosa West
Born to one of the richest merchant families, Rosa's manners and poise is second to none. Master of speech craft, she earned her nickname during her own kidnapping which she managed to talk her way out of and greeted the rescue party hauling all of the kidnappers valuables. That caught the attention of the Royal Secret Service.
Her specialty is negotiating, blackmail and kidnapping as well as the art of disguise, all things her family prepared her to do. She also has a thing for interrogation, she needs to be in a right mood for that though.
Very needy, always under performs in the field. Rare greedy-but-caring type. The most experienced member of the team. Sarcastic towards those she views as lesser people(so like everybody)
AJ "Allchemic Jane " Jane Sandler
Grew up on a farm, where one reasonably smart remark and the fact that she was brewing cider earned her apprenticeship at a master alchemist's workshop. Her master was old and needed her to keep feeding him a concoction to prevent his lethal poisoning, which she was failed to do on time late into her studies.After that event she vowed to never let anyone down(it was a very emotional moment ok). She enlisted to the army and quickly migrated backwards from the front line service through quartermasters into covert operations, ultimately landing on princesses personal team.
Despite being well educated she is still simple at heart, seeing everything in the 3 colors of black, white and gray, refusing to acknowledge the shit stained bed-cover reality is. Her morals make her a bad spy but her down to earth and calm persona makes her an anchor for the team, where she takes the lead in time of crisis. Her nickname being just her name and profession shows how bad she is at the whole covert business.
Her farm and military background made her extremely strong and practical,which together with her alchemical experience and unmatched reliability make her a valuable asset for any action, she is greatly stunted by her inability to lie or confabulate. Years as an alchemists apprentice stained her hair blue on the end and green for the rest with a tiny bit of her natural light brown at the tip of the head, further limiting her usefulness in actual execution of any operation.
PP "The Ripper" Pinkamena Jade
Little is known about the past of Pinkamena, as she herself has little understanding of the idea of family and is not an easy person to interrogate. Completely devoid of any morality, her recorded history starts after committing a massive killing spree in the rich district of the capital, an event that forever changed the balance in the entire country's economy. She was only caught several years later due to her bragging loudly in front of another victim which led to her arrest. While the city watch did not believe she did commit all the murders, she was definitely guilty of intending a murder which ended up with a long investigation committed on behalf of the princess who was still curious about the murderer who allowed her to take over the lion share of her own states economy. After a fake execution she was found guilty, insane and highly useful by the princess herself. She now has slain at least 50 people on her orders, and only she knows how many more outside of that.
Highly unstable and unpredictable in behavior, she can be easily controlled by someone strong enough to earn her respect. With her unexplained ability to get inside anywhere, do anything she wishes and leave uncaught she is the best possible assassin.
On February 13 2014 16:36 TheEmulator wrote: This seems really interesting Qbek. I will be happy to read some of this and give some constructive criticism.
I dunno what I can do about criticism cause so far it's been exclusively written in my sleep. I'm about to put it all "on paper".
If my mind keeps drifting towards this thing in every moment i go blank I'll go insane in a week
The file was named "pro long it as much as you can omg.odt" I guess I failed
First part was written with this song on loop
I was interrupted a lot during this, also only 60% was proofread so expect bugs and glitches.
English sucks
Here it goes, very dirty first draft of the prologue
You are now free. The subtle tones of music have torn your soul away from your exhausted body and you are now slowly drifting apart. Let yourself forget where you were just minutes ago, you are now a spirit with no meaning or fate, all there is to feel are the soothing sounds of this perfect moment. Your mind, free. Your soul, finally at peace. Your will, no longer there. Past, you don't know of it. Future, just an extension of present. Present, perfection. The gentle sounds caress your tired... everything. A tiny spasm in your ears reminds you of reality but not to worry, it's your body lusting after what you now hear and are. You are close to the moment of purity that will allow you to rest eternally, for your toil is also eternal. Sleep my child, you ... -Your Highness. Oh for f... -Excuse me Your Highness, I bring news of utmost importance. -What now... -It's from the Crystal Empire. -How can that be important, I... -Just read it your Highness. Princess Celestia sighs and starts reading the scroll she was handed, her head still not fully attached to her body after the audiophiliac climax she was just refused. However as she reads it her eyes slowly light up, her body straightens, she might have even smiled a little. Utmost importance has never before been such an understatement. -That's enough ladies, I must act on this immediately. The six members of the band stop playing immediately, but the seventh, playing a violin, let's the music fade slowly instead in an improvised outro. -You! -the princess, already halfway to the door, points a finger at the last women, or girl rather.- I want to see you again. The rest of you are free to go. The princess leaves to the sound of quietly whispered congratulations raining down upon a stunned musician.
This part is gonna need so much polishing to make the opening feels right I already feel tired
-Daedalus!- a loud shout tears through the silence of the royal library like a light cavalry assault through a supply caravan – You old blind cripple I keep in here for reasons that are about to escape my memory, where are you! -I'm sorry your highness, Daedalus is doing his "passion" again, but I am here to serve you. -You'll have to do Icarus. Give me the key to my private archive, as I said my memory needs any help it can get. -Of course your highness. Icarus, the librarians assistant starts searching through various drawers in the reception desk, his hands getting shakier and shakier with each one as he realizes he might have just insulted the princesses' memory. -You'd think someone blind would keep things always in the same spots. - the princess said, not for the first time and not last either. -I wish he did, your highness.- said Icarus relieved the princess hasn't noticed his slip up. -You and me both... The silence had no time to attempt to become awkward as Icarus lifts a small, simple looking brass key triumphantly. -AHA- he exclaimed. - Bottom drawer it is. I didn't even know he could reach that low. -Full of surprises even today that Daedalus. - she takes the key quickly- There will be people looking for me, let them in only one at the time. -As you wish your highness. She then quickly walks towards the last shelf in the library, stands in front of it, and starts counting books on the fourth shelf from the bottom , stops at the twentieth , pulls it out and puts the hand with key into the gap it left. Seconds later a loud click can be heard and a wall panel to the left opens like a door. The princess walks into it with book she took out to open the entrance still in her hand and no key in sight. -You wanted to see me, my princess- said Rosa West after she was done performing one of her more intricate bows. She looked really out of place in a ball dress and with immaculate make up on inside the mess that was the royal private chamber in the royal private library. No maid was ever let inside that room. -Yes Rosy my dear. Sit down, this is going to take a while.- She pointed at the empty armchair right next to the one she was sitting in, separated only by a giant free standing candelabrum. Free standing in a bucket of wax that is. Rose took her time to fold the dress properly while sitting down, and blushed when she noticed the princess was watching her with a smile during the whole process. -Did I interrupt you in something? I hope I didn't ruin some boys dreams for tonight. - The princess was still smiling -I was about to be introduced by the herald. He wasn't a boy although I must admit he did look a bit dreamy.-The princesses smile widened a little. -Speaking of dreams, do you know about the City of Dreams?- asked the princess, sounding like she knew the answer. -The Crystal Empire?! The most magnificent city in the entire world? Oh I always dreamed about going there!- The smile wasn't disappointed with the answer. -I'm sure you are not the only one. Please read this and believe that dreams do come true. -The princess hands over the scroll the delivery of which interrupted her relaxation merely hours earlier.Rosa West, pride of the West family was always a fast reader and even faster thinker, and within a minute she exclaimed: -The entire line murdered overnight?! Oh my goodness! Who do you have in mind my princess? -Seeing how the original conspiracy has failed and we have some time, I was thinking of sending someone appropriately dreamy for the city of dreams. Like my daughter and her lover for example. -Princess Charlotte? I don't mean to be rude but I don't think she is,... uhm... ready... -You know I never treat honesty as rudeness, Rose. Yes she is not 'ready' as you've gracefully put it, she is also not someone people would think I'd send there. I'm thinking about officially unofficially banishing her due to her misalliance, which should get her some sympathy over there. -Excuse my ignorance my princess, but I seem to not know how exactly does succession work in the imperium. My ignorance on the matter is the reason we meet in this room, my dear. Fortunately I had just what I needed to educate myself. And the matter turns out to be very simple. When the Empire was founded, a hundred of most prominent families were granted positions in a council that will elect every ruler. The dynasty that ruled there until last week took good care of them to guarantee reelection, however thirty seven of the hundred families managed to die out despite that good care. Of those only half need to vote for someone to become the new ruler. -So thirty two votes is what princess Charlotte would need to become the Dream Empress. I assume those thirty two votes are the reason I am here, as I don't see the princess gathering that many of her own dreaminess. -Indeed, you and your team will have to do your magic and make my dream reality. My official involvement will not be welcome so you will be on your own for the most part. I will send a letter to every council member supporting my daughters candidature of course, but I will probably make the all be worded exactly the same. Yeees, that sounds good... -Truly it does , my princess. I must remind you however that my team lacks it's sixth ever since the incident with... -DON'T MENTION HER- The sudden outburst filled the room with shadowy monsters of disturbed candle light and was followed by the deepest silence the library has experienced that day. It Rose a minute until she gathered the courage to start breathing again, it took the princess five to talk again. -I have someone for you, a promising young girl from the countryside, very well behaved , you'll like her. -Do we really want an untrained rookie on mission of this importance, my princess? I don't know if I can handle training some barelynoble while working on thirty two targets at once. -Don't worry dear. I had her trained for the last six months and so far she seems good enough for your team. Besides, she is a sister-in-law of my daughters lover. -I see my princess, the perfect scapegoat. -I was thinking more about her being motivated to at least finish the mission even if she turns out unfit, but someone to put all the blame on is never a bad thing. You'll have to teach her a lot but wouldn't a rookie be a nice change of pace compared to everything else you have to deal with.- The smile is back -Maybe it will my princess, it would for sure if I didn't have Pinkamena freaking her out the first second, poor Shakey hiding from her for the first week and Anna putting ideas into her head all the time. If only Jane was good for something else than brewing in basements it would have been so much easier -You are doing simply fantastic considering what you have to deal with. I want you to know I am proud of you- Rose's dress became visibly puffier- Besides, there is a chance you will have a third normal member after she learns the ropes. -I've learned to expect the worst in this respect my princess. -they both sigh thinking of the previous members of the princesses Personal Task Force. -Well. She should arrive here within a week and you will see for yourself what to think of her. Now go gather your team, you will be leaving in at most ten days. I must speak to my sister now. Another masterful bow and the princess was alone again. Princess Vera is a special person. The only thing she does is embroidering, the only person she speaks to is her sister princess Celestia, who she never calls her new name, and things she says rarely have any meaning yet they inspire her sister all the time. She lives atop a tower like a princess in distress should, her sister is assured by the servants she eats and sleeps, yet she herself never witnessed that. Princess Vera always seats on a sofa in front of the balcony overlooking the castle gardens, creating patterns and pictures on fabric that could never have possibly been seen there. Her sister visits her almost daily, the visit always starting with her sitting on a sofa and looking out at the garden fro a while. -I'm so excited Vera, my dearest sister. Another dream will come true soon enough. -My beloved sister is always so confident. - her voice calm and monotone, she never looks away from her work. -I have good reasons. Not only have I managed to save my favorite group of subjects from falling apart, but I finally found a use for my daughter. -Me and my sister both hate when something goes to waste- she says as she cuts some loose threads out. -Soon my sister, the city of dreams will be mine, and we will be one step closer to complete harmony. -Step by step... -I'm sorry sister I need to go, I'm too excited right now, I must act. She jumps up and leaves hastily, while her sister starts a picture that will later become a city in a rainbow of colors and gems. -My sister, so uneasy all the time.
EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/o4e3s2b.gif)
