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Every time I lose in a video game I get a horrible fight or flight response in my body that is likely causing me to die much quicker due to stress, I become a raving lunatic and will say the most horrible things to people like "I sincerely hope someone in your family dies" because they stomped me in Sc2. This is a problem and I know it, however the solution is much farther out of reach than the acknowledgement that I have a problem.
Video games make me happy, when I'm not losing at them. Not much else in life brings me enjoyment anymore, I have become bitter towards people, I don't go outside because I hate drunk people and socializing with idiots. I enjoy spending time with my GF but every day I spend looking forward to gaming. All day at school (im upgrading at 28 to get into university) I look forward to gaming but then I start and lose and it's just a complete 180 in attitude.
I have recently really tried to turn my life around as far as my attitude, I've begun trying to read some books like "why zebras don't get ulcers". I've begun meditating, and honestly none of it has worked yet, I spend most of my day in a frustrated haze angry at the shape of my desk, the cans on my desk, pretty much anything around me can frustrate me.
Any suggestions on how I can unhulk?
 
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If you played with the goals of improving and playing well rather than the goal of winning, you wouldn't get pissed. You would also get more skilled at any game you play as a result.
I play with those goals, and it's the only reason I manage to play Brood War. In the beginning, I almost only lost, but I survived longer each time, and I played better each time, so it was all good.
Think about it: You can always play better, and you can always play worse. If you win a match, it only means you played better than he did. But you didn't "win". You can't win, because the skill ceiling is infinite. Your goal, and your desire, should be to get better. To increase your understanding of the game. It should not be to win. Playing a great game vs Jaedong and barely losing is better than playing a bad game vs a bronze leaguer and winning, because you played better, and that is what matters.
Once upon a time, I valued winning rather than improving, and because of it I couldn't enjoy difficult games.
TLDR
Stop caring about winning, start caring about improving
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I too suffered from the hulking curse that blights this generation. My goals and work ethic were more misguided than the Timmy from the ancient tale. Yet I heard that tale and embarked on my own mission for inner peace and absolute starcraft domination. I traveled to the northern reaches of the Ukraine battling bears wolves and weather to within an inch of my life before I came upon the masters lair. There he told me clear and simple words that inspired me to orient my hobby around bettering myself and not beating other people. He told me: + Show Spoiler +
EDIT: ninja'd with exact same message+ Show Spoiler +
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When you said "I enjoy spending time with my GF but every day I spend looking forward to gaming" I felt sad.
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On January 04 2014 01:36 YouthSC wrote:
When you said "I enjoy spending time with my GF but every day I spend looking forward to gaming" I felt sad.
I meant that as I enjoy 2 things in life right now, gaming and spending time with my GF, everything else is shit.
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Easy don't play competitive games, or tough games.
Pick simpler games or adventure, transport tycoon like games and you'll be fine.
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On January 04 2014 01:46 LastWish wrote:
Easy don't play competitive games, or tough games.
Pick simpler games or adventure, transport tycoon like games and you'll be fine.
That's not going to happen to be honest, I have no desire to play non competitive games.
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9931 Posts
well, at least you recognize it. when i cared more about winning and felt the blackness after a loss i would force myself to say 'gg, nicely played' and just leave asap. the loss still stung but it really felt like a minor victory over my stupid antagonistic human instincts. helps
in general it seems that people with rage issues online tend to not have many hobbies outside of gaming. i can understand that lifestyle, but you just gotta be very aware that your ego will be coupled strongly to gaming (and the results of each game) since this is one of your main identities.
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On January 04 2014 01:46 Esoterikk wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2014 01:36 YouthSC wrote:
When you said "I enjoy spending time with my GF but every day I spend looking forward to gaming" I felt sad. I meant that as I enjoy 2 things in life right now, gaming and spending time with my GF, everything else is shit.
Wrong. Everything else is. You make it shit in your head.
Meditate about that.
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I am usually like that before. No scratch that not before but for 5-7 years since i was a 4th grader or so. I approached video gaming like how you do but i only get that kind of attitude whenever i am playing Dota with my team(means my 4 closest friends ) against another team that's when i get really competitive and start shitting. Of course if am just playing at Pubs i don't get that attitude.
But to address your problem idk if we had the same case but during my cases i started to lose that kind of attitude when i actually played the game "for fun" for real. It's easy to say that you play to for fun but you are not actually doing that.
To how am i doing that is that i think its just an "experiment". So that whatever happens i don't actually rage.
Hope i helped even though we might have completely different cases.
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Lose games intentionally, tell yourself, at the start of a ladder game : ok, I try this strategy and I want to improve that aspect of my gameplay, but the only possible outcome is me saying gg wp to my opponent and leaving, no matter what happens. Just try that.
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Maybe you should just start playing a different video game? Lots of people rage playing SC2...and to be frank its not like its *that* good of a game anyway. Obviously video games are only one facet of the problem, but I figure if you're going to turn things around you need to find ways of keeping positive, and the worst way to do that is play a game like SC2 which is infamous for the amount of rage it induces in people when they lose. The only other way is to somehow trick your brain into not being angry when you lose, I think that's going to be pretty hard to do. Maybe if you play team games it'll be reduced, but I'm guessing you're not into that.
Long-term, I hope you find a career you enjoy doing, really I think that's the best solution for anyone including myself.
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On January 04 2014 05:24 radscorpion9 wrote:
Maybe you should just start playing a different video game? Lots of people rage playing SC2...and to be frank its not like its *that* good of a game anyway. Obviously video games are only one facet of the problem, but I figure if you're going to turn things around you need to find ways of keeping positive, and the worst way to do that is play a game like SC2 which is infamous for the amount of rage it induces in people when they lose. The only other way is to somehow trick your brain into not being angry when you lose, I think that's going to be pretty hard to do. Maybe if you play team games it'll be reduced, but I'm guessing you're not into that.
Long-term, I hope you find a career you enjoy doing, really I think that's the best solution for anyone including myself.
I don't think the game induces rage at all. On the contrary, it induces you to think rationally, because any action you do based on rage will probably result in you losing the game.
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hi
big of you to admit, albeit under cover of anonimity
now, if i may be a bit bold, are you sure that you are not wasting your favorite past time by ignoring other factors that you could overcome?
gaming and competitiveness is a good thing, and you like it .. it will even maybe save you
but for that to happen, you must rid yourself of what is really troubling you ...
being in a relationship does not equate to not being alone, if this were a guessing game, i'd guess that this is where you start ...
some people will always preffer to communicate with others through books pictures now forums or even gaming
this is not bad per say, but you will still need to invest, put yourself in '"danger" (allow yourself to be hurt by not being in total control .. or chose to go out of your way to discover worlds you never knew existed (in books for instance) ..etc)
being angry can be a liability or a strenght, it is all up to you
good luck
ps: maybe asking for help in the real world is more frightening, but it is also provides a much more potent answer/help
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Perhaps you already are a horrible person and playing video games just exercises your inner frustration. Perhaps you really want someone in your family to die, or your girlfriend?
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On January 04 2014 07:38 Shauni wrote:
Perhaps you already are a horrible person and playing video games just exercises your inner frustration. Perhaps you really want someone in your family to die, or your girlfriend?
PSA: this guy is either an extremely dedicated troll or has some very real issues. Disregard whatever he says when psychology is the topic at hand.
@OP, I think you may want to "manually override" your brain when you feel the rage coming on. You sound like you have some very, very strong rage, which means cute tricks may not be as effective as they are for your average joe. So, working your fundamentals may be best. When you feel yourself getting angry, hit the mental emergency brakes and start thinking. You'll still have a lot of fury within you, like a full coal furnace on a steam train, but as you keep exercising your conscious thought and rationally deconstruct your anger, it'll slowly dissipate.
This is what works for me as a person extremely skilled in introspection, it may not be as good for you. Another thing you could do is find other things in life. Your narrow interest means you invest a lot in what little you do. Unfortunately, this tactic will, by its very nature, make you enjoy SC2 less. You could still like it, but not as much as you do now.
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On January 04 2014 07:38 Shauni wrote:
Perhaps you already are a horrible person and playing video games just exercises your inner frustration. Perhaps you really want someone in your family to die, or your girlfriend?
I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. That was a terrible joke.
OT: Since you already know your "flaw", consider the reasoning behind it. Why are you angry when you lose? My assumption is that you feel inadequate about yourself for losing and take it out on the other guy. But does it matter? Does it lower your own value just because you lost to some (possibly) 30 year old basement dweller?
Lose a game and you lose nothing. But if you lose your moral character you lose everything.
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On January 04 2014 00:24 Esoterikk wrote:
Not much else in life brings me enjoyment anymore. I don't go outside because I hate drunk people and socializing with idiots.
That's probably not a great outlook on life. I feel like it's less about losing a video game and more about you thinking you're better than other people.
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On January 05 2014 07:53 Xenocide_Knight wrote:Show nested quote +On January 04 2014 00:24 Esoterikk wrote:
Not much else in life brings me enjoyment anymore. I don't go outside because I hate drunk people and socializing with idiots. That's probably not a great outlook on life. I feel like it's less about losing a video game and more about you thinking you're better than other people.
Because of my location and the nature of where I live the only thing people around here do for fun is drink and break things I'm almost 30 and have no interest in spending every night in a bar. I move in a year so hopefully my situation changes.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://december7.ru/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/moregg.jpg)
