It has gotten to this point where frustration is not even the word. It has reached that point where you can longer hold out much hope and each step in the process is just, well, almost funny now. Sometimes things in life happen and all you can do is laugh anymore. There is no emotion left to feel otherwise so we break down to one of our most core, basic feelings - humor.
The frustrations have changed ito just plain helplessness. This is that feeling of guilt where you want to do something so badly, but you can't. It is where our lives as humans clash with the basic idea of impermanence. We do not like to accept that some things, at least in this corner of time in the universe, are impossible and therefore we are useless to do anything. By nature when we have a loved one that is in pain or, well, just plain dying, we have this urge to do something. We have to help.
This is where the human element comes in. This is where evolution clashes with reality. We have this survival instinct as well as a need for society. A strong group is better and safer, so to maintain that strong group, we want to help.
Luckily I just got word that the incident today was not the worst. It was not what we had feared, but that does not mean it was not bad. I wish that I had more to say today, but overall it is what it is and there is not much that we can do at this time.
I want to thank the community for all of their kind words in the past. Thanks to TL for letting me post this here, gather my thoughts, work out ideas. All I want people to take from this is that ends come. Nothing is forever and in the end no matter what you do, we must accept and move on. This is the strength and beauty of humanity.