Gay StarCraft Players - Page 338

hey, that's not a high five!

On June 14 2013 19:22 Kyrillion wrote:


Actually what is usually called high-five should rather be a high-ten. A slap deserves the name better.

On June 14 2013 19:14 marvellosity wrote:


I must have missed the part where you were the moderator of this thread.

I must also have missed the part where someone asked a question only yesterday, and a couple of us gave our perspectives and reasoning. One might call that connecting and educating.

If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask; otherwise I'm not sure why you're complaining.

On June 14 2013 21:25 lessQQmorePEWPEW wrote:


My friend, you need not get so defensive and antsy so fast. No reason to get worked up like I did a personal attack on you. Another forum user Drekkonis took a much better approach to my question and I appreciate that way more than your "are you a moderator?"

Simply speaking, Drekkonis is right and I have seen alot of positive back and forth on this thread. But a few posts that I have seen are quite disturbing and really quite explicit. QandA is awesome for this thread, but broadcasting your sexual desires explicitly isn't quite friendly to the younger folks (including young gay people discovering themselves). Just keep it a little less explicit in an otherwise wonderful thread. Thank you.

On June 14 2013 21:37 lessQQmorePEWPEW wrote:
On that note, I have some advice to ask you guys.

I have a gay friend who's ethnic background isn't very supportive of gays. Needless to say, he has yet to come out and has been discussing with me and a group of friends about how to do it/when to do it. Problem is, his father is extremely strict and his mother dismisses homosexuality as non-existent.

I've seen the struggles in his emotions each time he brings it up. this has been going on for about 3-4 years now? Here is the problem, his parents have begun to look for a bride for him (arranged marriage). The kids in such a messed up state but still can't find the balls to tell his parents. Being the single child doesnt help his case and he argues his dad could even kill himself (as extreme as that sounds, I have met his dad and he is one egoistic dude).

I, as a friend, have encouraged him to just tell his mom first and work it from there. But he feels there is soo much on the line that he might just marry to please his parents. I wanted to slap him for even thinking that but considering his position, I really dont know what else to say.

If any of you guys have experience in this kinda shitty situation, please do advise! Thanks bros.

On June 14 2013 21:59 marvellosity wrote:


You and I have different meanings of the word explicit, I think. In any case, if you find posts problematic, feel free to report them; as whatever posts you are referring to have gone uncensured I assume they're not breaking any guidelines.

One more time, please do not backseat moderate this thread.



This sucks majorly and I don't know what to say. How old is your friend?

On June 14 2013 22:05 lessQQmorePEWPEW wrote:


He's 25, graduated and working. Thats why his parents want him married off. I feel ya man.. at least you dont have to see his emotions in person. He even broke it off with a bf of 1-2 years because of this.

On June 14 2013 22:09 marvellosity wrote:


If he can stand on his own 2 feet, then in the nicest possible terms he needs to grow a pair and do what he wants to do. He only gets 1 life :/

I mean the answer is obvious, it's just the "but....."s. No, his personal wellbeing has to win out here, no matter how shitty the other repurcussions. As horrible as it is, his parents are just gonna have to get over it.

On June 14 2013 22:25 lessQQmorePEWPEW wrote:


We've all said that. Easier said than done in his case. idk man, this is where i get stuck too. He doesn't want his dad to do anything stupid, especially since he is the only child, there is a lot expected from him. just a cluster of bad luck for him.

i told him to say your career oriented and put off marriage till later. in the meanwhile, try and slowly drop hints n shiz. besides that, i rly dont know what else to tell him.

On June 14 2013 22:30 marvellosity wrote:


Yes, absolutely easier said than done. But you can't be ransomed on your own happiness because someone else might do something stupid, that's just wrong.

If he absolutely can't bear to tell his parents, then that's the way it is, but he should still privately pursue his own happiness; obviously arranged marriage is definitely where a line needs to be drawn.

On June 14 2013 22:33 lessQQmorePEWPEW wrote:


For now, I told him to buy time on the marriage shit by staying focused on career building. I think a gradual reveal is the best way to go. There is no guarantee that his parents will accept it, let alone pick up on his hints.

Whatever happens, he has some good friends to fall back on. I hope thats crystal clear to him.

On June 14 2013 22:36 marvellosity wrote:


Well, I assume you're making it crystal clear to him, in which case you're doing your job

In the end he has to walk his own path, you can only be there for him.

On June 14 2013 22:45 lessQQmorePEWPEW wrote:


Thanks for the help.. it is his battle to be won at the end of the day. Just cant help but feel a bit of his pain.

On June 14 2013 23:35 Drekkonis wrote:


I am going to take a stab at this seeing as my coming out was somewhat similar.

-----
My Story:

My parents are from Jamaica so they are heavily religious and anti-gay. Growing up gay in a repressed environment is to this day one of the darkest spots in my life, because I had to constantly hide who I was and not talking my sexuality but who I wanted to be inside. I wanted to dance spontaneously, laugh loudly , have my X-men action figures raid my sister's doll house and most of all i wanted to know what what it was like to kiss a boy.

All those items though came with the potential to "out me" to my very religious parents who reminded me on a weekly basis if they found out their kid was gay they would do the old Jamaican tradition of hanging him/her (I have 3 sisters) by their feet and lighting them on fire.

I was 12 when I was told that, and was made very much afraid. So I suppressed all the urges to be a 12 year old and I hid it away and kept very quiet and became very secluded. I had very little friends which I did to purposely to reduce the risk of suspicion and kept to myself. All to protect myself and dedicated myself to the sole purpose of escaping the nightmare. They treated me differently than my siblings , and I always had to ask round about questions to see if they "knew" , which looking back on it today they definitely had suspicion as any parent will. My Father sending me off to the air force to "straighten" me out was one of those tell-tale-signs that he wanted to use passive correction.

I moved out at 17 and began a life of discovery of who I was, and I was content to never telling my parents ever. Until one day my mother asked me , straight out while I was at her house If I was gay. I told her "That If I was I would never tell her" and she summarized from the delay in my response and the response itself that It was true. She cried, for several days, but I figured she would simply accept it because there was nothing she could say or do that would change the fact but we both agreed my father should never know so we kept it a secrete... untill Christmas of 2005 when he stopped over my apartment and broke into my room to see my pride flag.

He left without saying a word and sent me an email the next day explaining to me that I was not his Son and that I was the worst thing to ever happen to him, that he hopes nothing in life goes well for me and that I was a curse from God himself (I kept the email, still have it) .

My mother decided that she couldn't accept it because her belief wouldn't allow it and she gave me an ultimatum that if I was to continue being gay (as if I could simply stop) , that I wasn't welcomed. So I amicably told her that I love her regardless but I can't go back to repressing myself to please her. So we walked out of each others lives

-----

The reason I shared this story because your friend is going through a thousand scenarios in his head, and is afraid of the worst case which is disappointment of his parents and worse possible alienation from his immediate family and to be honest from my experience its a possibility but they already suspect in the back of their minds but believe it to be a

a. choice
b. sickness
c. phase

or all of the above and want to "cure" it was a marriage solution , but what your friend needs to realize that by going with the marriage he will not only mess up his life but the life of the poor female companion as well. To this day I still find myself trying to undo some of the mental repercussions that come with living with fear of parental wrath. I function fine and live a happy healthy life now but it took alot of deprogramming to remove the kind of scars experiences like that will leave.

So my advice to your friend would be don't get married to his poor girl period. Tell his parents and face their reactions or accept that they may not be apart of his life or cut it but understand he has no control over them or what they believe, he can only control his life. The alternative is far worse, which is a life of secretes, lies and repression which will send ripple effects into his future.

And if he needs someone to talk to about it who understands i'll skype him and tell him myself cause that stuff can eat you up from the inside and leave you pretty broken at the end of the day.

On June 14 2013 19:17 Drekkonis wrote:


its light jokes and banter, Gay gamers like any other group of people cant' be serious 100% of the time so take the sex comments with a grain of salt. No one is hooking up via forum (except Axero, he's just everywhere)