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Don't post in this thread to say "gay gamers are like everyone else, why do they have a special thread?" It is something that has been posted numerous times, and this isn't the place for that discussion.
For regular posters, don't quote the trolls. |
How much easier, if at all, do you think it is for gay people to be exposed to or involved with the hard-drugs "scene"? To clarify, as gays tend to associate/hang out with women more than most, do you find the same happens with drug use, or drug places (like raves)?
I remember celebrating a new year's with a close friend of mine shortly after he came out to me as gay. We were just out of high school and we moved to different cities for university. We spent the holidays at his city, with his new group of friends. Every one of them was gay and every one of them was doing drugs. At the time there were very few, or none, gay bars, clubs, saunas etc. so I can understand how rave parties worked as such. What I wonder is if this is or was common, and if someone can happen to pick up drugs simply because he's gay, like gossipping.
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On September 06 2011 03:55 jarrydesque wrote: The first main thing that you're asking is basically why do gay guys think you are gay. Without actually seeing you and with your assurances that you're more or less perfectly average (in terms of looks, dress and mannerisms) no one here could give you a definite answer. Some suggestions may be, perhaps you are in a more gay friendly social circle, perhaps by association, if you have gay friends. Maybe you do have some mannerisms that might seem more feminine. Maybe the places you go are popular for gays to visit as well. Any of these could play a role. At the end of the day, it does not really matter. If you're not gay, then enjoy the attention/compliments.
I speak for myself here but as a gay man, I'd never hit on anyone unless I was almost sure they are gay.
As for your friend falling in love with you, it's surprisingly common after coming out. I hope it was not too hard on you. I wouldn't say that there is any one single trait that all gay men like. We, like you, have personal preferences in terms of what we see in other people.
There is no "turn the world" gay cult or anything like that. In terms of your friend... molesting (I guess) you I'd think thats just taking a chance? I'm a bit surprised by a situation like that, partly at his forwardness (Imagine you jumping into a girls bed and fondling her while she slept) and your passivity (Anyone has a right to be angry at anyone for doing something like that).
Are you sure you don't flirt with these men?
Well yeah I guess you can put my question that way... *whistles* So my social circle is quite wide, but only a small minority of it is gay. However, except for the two friends I spoke about, all the other ones were perfect strangers. It did happen in regular parties, pubs, and even in the street, so I don't think the environment could be relevant. About the mannerisms, I guess I also overuse body language and smile a lot to people, but isn't it a "regular" social comportment ? Or do real alpha males don't smile nicely at each other ? And don't get me wrong, as weird as it is for me to say that, I do enjoy the compliment, as long as the guy doesn't insist afterwards.
It was more disturbing than hard, because I didn't know his sexuality beforehand, and didn't know any other gay at that time... I think I reacted poorly by avoiding him a bit for a while (I swear I was thinking "so his feelings can disappear"), because we ended up losing contact :/
Ok, so you would rather think he made up an excuse for his uncontrollable envies ? I had this theory in mind but I prefer to suppose people tell the truth before the contrary (no, I'm not a naive fool new to life, but let's say the benefit of the doubt comes first !). I know my passivity seems strange, but I was awake since two seconds (and went to sleep drunk an hour ago), and the first thing which came through my mind was "if I yell at him he will think it's because I'm shocked by his sexuality, because I wouldn't flame a girl waking me up that way"... And he left before I woke up in the morning, and I didn't want to bring it up again on our following encounter. And for your last question, it's a bit embarrassing, but I admit I thought about it: I have the "I want to please everybody" syndrome, and am addicted to the flirting game... but with girls of course. That being said, I am aware of the signs I send to these girls, and am careful not to give any false hint to guys. Could this be unconscious though ? I hope not and, frankly, think not... But it does scare me somehow. It's my "well if it's nothing else..." solution, actually. That's why I didn't mention it  Anyway thanks for your helpful insight !
On September 06 2011 04:19 drshdwpuppet wrote:Show nested quote +On September 06 2011 04:05 GDR wrote:I don't know if a reasonable straight-man would think it smart to post a picture in a thread with a bunch of dissecting gay men. If he posts a picture I think we can assume hes 'one of us'.  shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. dont tell him that! You guys made me laugh :D But no pic for you ! As unreasonable as I can be, I don't like my face being on public internet places. I can describe myself, but as Jarrydesque stated, I'm more or less perfectly average: 1.79 meters, 72 kgs, some short beard (depending of the day of the week, really), mi-short hair (up to 4-5 centimeters); and they'd say I have a nice butt :p But here's the fun part : 2 years ago I was 20 kilos more, never shaved, and had long hair (with ponytail), and I would still got male offers once in a while... But it's now that I take care of my body that it starts to kick in, with 4 guys in three months (I guess it doesn't seem to be a lot to some of you; but I don't go out so often, and foremost, it's higher than the number of girls (this being the case since I'm out of high school), which can prove to be a bit depressing). So when I get more attractive, I obviously get more offers, but let's say it has tripled from guys, while just slightly augmenting from girls... I really must be doing it wrong lol.
EDIT: reading the guy above, I guess I can add that I generally hang out with more girls than gals, and tend to befriend more easily with girls... But is it that relevant ?
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On September 06 2011 05:13 dementrio wrote: How much easier, if at all, do you think it is for gay people to be exposed to or involved with the hard-drugs "scene"? To clarify, as gays tend to associate/hang out with women more than most, do you find the same happens with drug use, or drug places (like raves)?
I remember celebrating a new year's with a close friend of mine shortly after he came out to me as gay. We were just out of high school and we moved to different cities for university. We spent the holidays at his city, with his new group of friends. Every one of them was gay and every one of them was doing drugs. At the time there were very few, or none, gay bars, clubs, saunas etc. so I can understand how rave parties worked as such. What I wonder is if this is or was common, and if someone can happen to pick up drugs simply because he's gay, like gossipping.
I actually once gave a presentation to a large gathering of lgbt youth groups on this topic. Amongst teenagers, homosexuals are 190% more likely to do drugs and become dependent on alcohol than their heterosexual peers.
The reason is seen as two fold. On one hand, being very different from the societal perceived norm, homosexual teenagers are more likely to engage in behaviors that make them feel like they are fitting in or being cool, and in the current public psyche, there is still a glorification of people who are "cool enough to drink/do drugs". On the other side is the built in discrimination and prejudice on a daily basis many if not most homosexuals go through on a day to day basis. The drugs are an escape mechanism.
Another reason could be the lack of feeling as if we belong in day to day society. There is a strong heteronormative feel to almost every aspect to life, so to get away from that and go to a place that looks at homosexuality as a good thing, as something to be celebrated, gay guys will go to clubs/raves etc where drugs are in abundance and to fit in, they may feel obligated to try them.
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Question, does gay men get turned on by thier own dicks?
User was warned for this post
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On September 06 2011 03:26 Nasradime wrote:Oh, while I'm at it, and because it's somewhat related, do you guys like to try turning heterosexuals into homosexuals ? (I'm only asking because some night I woke up with my mate's hand on my dick, and after sending him back to his couch all he could say was "sorry I know you're straight but I can't stop myself from trying" (not to sleep with me, but making me gay))... Would he be fucked up or just your regular sex-hungry dude ? Many thanks 
Ye.. may... well I do 
I find it kind of fun to tease and flirt with straight guys, their blushing is so cute :3
I know that they are straight and am not really trying to turn them, but every once in a while you find one that is "bicurious" or willing to experiment a bit. Imo, even if the balls touch, its not gay if you are just trying something new.
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On September 06 2011 05:42 roddan wrote: Question, does gay men get turned on by thier own dicks? Do straight men get turned on by their sister?
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Ok, i'm going to try not to sound like a homophobe......
But why must gays always insist on letting us know that they're "here, queer, and _____"
like honestly who cares, gay actors, musicians..,.gamers...whatever. If you're gay that's your business, and in my opinion all this flaunting of your sexual preference is nothing but an attempt to prove to others (or possibly yourself) that you have some place in this world...sorry.
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On September 06 2011 05:39 drshdwpuppet wrote:Show nested quote +On September 06 2011 05:13 dementrio wrote: How much easier, if at all, do you think it is for gay people to be exposed to or involved with the hard-drugs "scene"? To clarify, as gays tend to associate/hang out with women more than most, do you find the same happens with drug use, or drug places (like raves)?
I remember celebrating a new year's with a close friend of mine shortly after he came out to me as gay. We were just out of high school and we moved to different cities for university. We spent the holidays at his city, with his new group of friends. Every one of them was gay and every one of them was doing drugs. At the time there were very few, or none, gay bars, clubs, saunas etc. so I can understand how rave parties worked as such. What I wonder is if this is or was common, and if someone can happen to pick up drugs simply because he's gay, like gossipping. I actually once gave a presentation to a large gathering of lgbt youth groups on this topic. Amongst teenagers, homosexuals are 190% more likely to do drugs and become dependent on alcohol than their heterosexual peers. The reason is seen as two fold. On one hand, being very different from the societal perceived norm, homosexual teenagers are more likely to engage in behaviors that make them feel like they are fitting in or being cool, and in the current public psyche, there is still a glorification of people who are "cool enough to drink/do drugs". On the other side is the built in discrimination and prejudice on a daily basis many if not most homosexuals go through on a day to day basis. The drugs are an escape mechanism. Another reason could be the lack of feeling as if we belong in day to day society. There is a strong heteronormative feel to almost every aspect to life, so to get away from that and go to a place that looks at homosexuality as a good thing, as something to be celebrated, gay guys will go to clubs/raves etc where drugs are in abundance and to fit in, they may feel obligated to try them.
Thanks. 2 things I want to ask: "become dependent on alcohol"? As in a 16-year-old alcoholic? and, do you think clubs, as in dicoteques, celebrate homosexuality?
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On September 06 2011 05:21 Nasradime wrote:Show nested quote +On September 06 2011 03:55 jarrydesque wrote: The first main thing that you're asking is basically why do gay guys think you are gay. Without actually seeing you and with your assurances that you're more or less perfectly average (in terms of looks, dress and mannerisms) no one here could give you a definite answer. Some suggestions may be, perhaps you are in a more gay friendly social circle, perhaps by association, if you have gay friends. Maybe you do have some mannerisms that might seem more feminine. Maybe the places you go are popular for gays to visit as well. Any of these could play a role. At the end of the day, it does not really matter. If you're not gay, then enjoy the attention/compliments.
I speak for myself here but as a gay man, I'd never hit on anyone unless I was almost sure they are gay.
As for your friend falling in love with you, it's surprisingly common after coming out. I hope it was not too hard on you. I wouldn't say that there is any one single trait that all gay men like. We, like you, have personal preferences in terms of what we see in other people.
There is no "turn the world" gay cult or anything like that. In terms of your friend... molesting (I guess) you I'd think thats just taking a chance? I'm a bit surprised by a situation like that, partly at his forwardness (Imagine you jumping into a girls bed and fondling her while she slept) and your passivity (Anyone has a right to be angry at anyone for doing something like that).
Are you sure you don't flirt with these men? Well yeah I guess you can put my question that way... *whistles* So my social circle is quite wide, but only a small minority of it is gay. However, except for the two friends I spoke about, all the other ones were perfect strangers. It did happen in regular parties, pubs, and even in the street, so I don't think the environment could be relevant. About the mannerisms, I guess I also overuse body language and smile a lot to people, but isn't it a "regular" social comportment ? Or do real alpha males don't smile nicely at each other ? And don't get me wrong, as weird as it is for me to say that, I do enjoy the compliment, as long as the guy doesn't insist afterwards. It was more disturbing than hard, because I didn't know his sexuality beforehand, and didn't know any other gay at that time... I think I reacted poorly by avoiding him a bit for a while (I swear I was thinking "so his feelings can disappear"), because we ended up losing contact :/ Ok, so you would rather think he made up an excuse for his uncontrollable envies ? I had this theory in mind but I prefer to suppose people tell the truth before the contrary (no, I'm not a naive fool new to life, but let's say the benefit of the doubt comes first !). I know my passivity seems strange, but I was awake since two seconds (and went to sleep drunk an hour ago), and the first thing which came through my mind was "if I yell at him he will think it's because I'm shocked by his sexuality, because I wouldn't flame a girl waking me up that way"... And he left before I woke up in the morning, and I didn't want to bring it up again on our following encounter. And for your last question, it's a bit embarrassing, but I admit I thought about it: I have the "I want to please everybody" syndrome, and am addicted to the flirting game... but with girls of course. That being said, I am aware of the signs I send to these girls, and am careful not to give any false hint to guys. Could this be unconscious though ? I hope not and, frankly, think not... But it does scare me somehow. It's my "well if it's nothing else..." solution, actually. That's why I didn't mention it  Anyway thanks for your helpful insight ! EDIT: reading the guy above, I guess I can add that I generally hang out with more girls than gals, and tend to befriend more easily with girls... But is it that relevant ?
Haha, oh well. I guess we can't really come up with any conclusive evidence. I'll go out on a limb and say you seem gentle and kind which is something many people are attracted to. I doubt there are any subconscious signals you send to guys. Lol, that sounds a bit paranoid.
As for you friend (the non molester), honestly, that's probably the best way it could have turned out.
Anywho, sounds like you're loved by all. Enjoy!
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On September 06 2011 05:50 st4rcrafty wrote: Ok, i'm going to try not to sound like a homophobe......
But why must gays always insist on letting us know that they're "here, queer, and _____"
like honestly who cares, gay actors, musicians..,.gamers...whatever. If you're gay that's your business, and in my opinion all this flaunting of your sexual preference is nothing but an attempt to prove to others (or possibly yourself) that you have some place in this world...sorry.
This standpoint is understandable, but the real reason you see it so prominently is that it deviates from your view of normal reality. Straight guys "flaunt" their sexuality all the time, human male sexual tendencies are very prominent in popular culture and just walking around every day. Are you trying to prove that you are straight to the world? Your mind says no, but in some ways you are.
Maybe a number of us do flair it up more than is necessary, but they are celebrating what makes them unique and human, not trying to push their own sexual preferences into your face. As for why it looks to the world as if we are really getting ourselves out there to people, we are, and for a good reason. Gay youths are a lot more likely to commit suicide, usually because of their internal conflict over their sexuality. If they see successful, prominent people, or even just every day, average joes like me being open and comfortable with their sexuality, maybe they will not be so keen on offing themselves.
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On September 06 2011 05:55 dementrio wrote: Thanks. 2 things I want to ask: "become dependent on alcohol"? As in a 16-year-old alcoholic? and, do you think clubs, as in dicoteques, celebrate homosexuality?
dependent was the wrong word, I more meant heavy drinking, though certainly some 16 and even younger people do become physically dependent on alcohol and become alcoholics.
I wouldn't say they celebrate homosexuality (except the gay clubs and bars) so much as it is a place where the overall tolerance for homosexuality is much higher than the average outside world.
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On September 06 2011 04:23 Nibbler89 wrote: Let's all just pretend the above post never happened before the cycle repeats itself.
Are you saying I'm wrong?
As much as being homosexual is a lifestyle choice, it is undeniably unnatural. If it was meant to be that way, there would be some kind of benefit to the species (beyond satisfying emotional needs to the person).
While I am personally against it, I treat homosexuality the same way as I do religion: Do what you want in private, but don't put it out there in my face. (edit) There are plenty of normal looking people who are regular parts of society, and you'd never know that they are gay. Taking on a fake intonation to your voice, and acting like a prissy little girl, wearing girl clothes and acting "fab" are completely unnescessary. If you want to prove to homosexuals that they can succeed and be normal, then show them that you don't need to act all flamboyant and show-boaty about their sexual preference. (/edit)
People seek acceptance in almost all facets of (social) life, of course you want to find like-minded people who can share and understand with you. I just think it's messed up (on many levels) that you have to form these posses of social abstracts in order to feel that you belong.
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On September 06 2011 06:03 yarkO wrote:Show nested quote +On September 06 2011 04:23 Nibbler89 wrote: Let's all just pretend the above post never happened before the cycle repeats itself. Are you saying I'm wrong? As much as being homosexual is a lifestyle choice, it is undeniably unnatural. If it was meant to be that way, there would be some kind of benefit to the species (beyond satisfying emotional needs to the person). While I am personally against it, I treat homosexuality the same way as I do religion: Do what you want in private, but don't put it out there in my face. (edit) There are plenty of normal looking people who are regular parts of society, and you'd never know that they are gay. Taking on a fake intonation to your voice, and acting like a prissy little girl, wearing girl clothes and acting "fab" are completely unnescessary. If you want to prove to homosexuals that they can succeed and be normal, then show them that you don't need to act all flamboyant and show-boaty about their sexual preference. (/edit) People seek acceptance in almost all facets of (social) life, of course you want to find like-minded people who can share and understand with you. I just think it's messed up (on many levels) that you have to form these posses of social abstracts in order to feel that you belong.
I'm saying your argument has been brought up multiple times and refuted multiple times so it's not necessary to have the discussion again. Just look a few pages back in the thread and you will see it posted then refuted, in cycles every few pages.
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On September 06 2011 06:08 Nibbler89 wrote:Show nested quote +On September 06 2011 06:03 yarkO wrote:On September 06 2011 04:23 Nibbler89 wrote: Let's all just pretend the above post never happened before the cycle repeats itself. Are you saying I'm wrong? As much as being homosexual is a lifestyle choice, it is undeniably unnatural. If it was meant to be that way, there would be some kind of benefit to the species (beyond satisfying emotional needs to the person). While I am personally against it, I treat homosexuality the same way as I do religion: Do what you want in private, but don't put it out there in my face. (edit) There are plenty of normal looking people who are regular parts of society, and you'd never know that they are gay. Taking on a fake intonation to your voice, and acting like a prissy little girl, wearing girl clothes and acting "fab" are completely unnescessary. If you want to prove to homosexuals that they can succeed and be normal, then show them that you don't need to act all flamboyant and show-boaty about their sexual preference. (/edit) People seek acceptance in almost all facets of (social) life, of course you want to find like-minded people who can share and understand with you. I just think it's messed up (on many levels) that you have to form these posses of social abstracts in order to feel that you belong. I'm saying your argument has been brought up multiple times and refuted multiple times so it's not necessary to have the discussion again. Just look a few pages back in the thread and you will see it posted then refuted, in cycles every few pages.
i agree
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On September 06 2011 06:03 yarkO wrote:Show nested quote +On September 06 2011 04:23 Nibbler89 wrote: Let's all just pretend the above post never happened before the cycle repeats itself. Are you saying I'm wrong? As much as being homosexual is a lifestyle choice, it is undeniably unnatural. If it was meant to be that way, there would be some kind of benefit to the species (beyond satisfying emotional needs to the person). While I am personally against it, I treat homosexuality the same way as I do religion: Do what you want in private, but don't put it out there in my face. (edit) There are plenty of normal looking people who are regular parts of society, and you'd never know that they are gay. Taking on a fake intonation to your voice, and acting like a prissy little girl, wearing girl clothes and acting "fab" are completely unnescessary. If you want to prove to homosexuals that they can succeed and be normal, then show them that you don't need to act all flamboyant and show-boaty about their sexual preference. (/edit) People seek acceptance in almost all facets of (social) life, of course you want to find like-minded people who can share and understand with you. I just think it's messed up (on many levels) that you have to form these posses of social abstracts in order to feel that you belong.
Please. Just don't.
He is referring to the fact that this thread goes though 10 page cycle when someone like you swoops in as if you have a view that no one has ever heard before. Yes, your views are very interesting, but they have been discussed to death already.
Edit: beaten to the punch.
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should add some footnotes to the OP. -_-;;
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On September 06 2011 06:12 jarrydesque wrote:Show nested quote +On September 06 2011 06:03 yarkO wrote:On September 06 2011 04:23 Nibbler89 wrote: Let's all just pretend the above post never happened before the cycle repeats itself. Are you saying I'm wrong? As much as being homosexual is a lifestyle choice, it is undeniably unnatural. If it was meant to be that way, there would be some kind of benefit to the species (beyond satisfying emotional needs to the person). While I am personally against it, I treat homosexuality the same way as I do religion: Do what you want in private, but don't put it out there in my face. (edit) There are plenty of normal looking people who are regular parts of society, and you'd never know that they are gay. Taking on a fake intonation to your voice, and acting like a prissy little girl, wearing girl clothes and acting "fab" are completely unnescessary. If you want to prove to homosexuals that they can succeed and be normal, then show them that you don't need to act all flamboyant and show-boaty about their sexual preference. (/edit) People seek acceptance in almost all facets of (social) life, of course you want to find like-minded people who can share and understand with you. I just think it's messed up (on many levels) that you have to form these posses of social abstracts in order to feel that you belong. Please. Just don't. He is referring to the fact that this thread goes though 10 page cycle when someone like you swoops in as if you have a view that no one has ever heard before. Yes, your views are very interesting, but they have been discussed to death already. Edit: beaten to the punch.
Along with the 2 page cycle of some guy coming into a thread labeled "Gay stracraft players" and talking about how homosexuals overly flaunt their sexuality and that they should keep it private to avoid bothering them.
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When I was a teenager I worked for several summers in an agricultural business. Cows, sheeps and goats all mount each other when they are ovulating. My boss explained to me what that behaviour meant and one of my tasks was to look out for it (it helps to plan fertilizations and to detect pregnancies). Obviously he also had a very strong opinion on how unnatural homosexuality is.
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On September 06 2011 06:23 dementrio wrote: When I was a teenager I worked for several summers in an agricultural business. Cows, sheeps and goats all mount each other when they are ovulating. My boss explained to me what that behaviour meant and one of my tasks was to look out for it (it helps to plan fertilizations and to detect pregnancies). Obviously he also had a very strong opinion on how unnatural homosexuality is. I don't get the point of this post...Why do we care about some farmer you worked for?
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On September 06 2011 06:03 yarkO wrote: Are you saying I'm wrong?
As much as being homosexual is a lifestyle choice, it is undeniably unnatural. If it was meant to be that way, there would be some kind of benefit to the species (beyond satisfying emotional needs to the person).
While I am personally against it, I treat homosexuality the same way as I do religion: Do what you want in private, but don't put it out there in my face. (edit) There are plenty of normal looking people who are regular parts of society, and you'd never know that they are gay. Taking on a fake intonation to your voice, and acting like a prissy little girl, wearing girl clothes and acting "fab" are completely unnescessary. If you want to prove to homosexuals that they can succeed and be normal, then show them that you don't need to act all flamboyant and show-boaty about their sexual preference. (/edit)
People seek acceptance in almost all facets of (social) life, of course you want to find like-minded people who can share and understand with you. I just think it's messed up (on many levels) that you have to form these posses of social abstracts in order to feel that you belong.
Intolerance levels have reached critical captain, troll feeding urge almost insatiable.
yes, you are wrong, read backwards for why.
as for the rest of your post, you imply that homosexuals are not normal people, you present heteronormative behavior as the only acceptable behavior. Homosexuals have proven they can succeed and if not being myself, if not enjoying life and accepting myself for who I am is normal, I want nothing to do with it at all.
I view ignorance and homophobia the same way I do as religion. Do what you want, think what you want in private, but don't ask me to understand or sit by and take baseless insults born of hatred, inbred intolerance and centuries old stupidity.
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