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On August 05 2008 08:53 BuGzlToOnl wrote:HOLY SHIT I REMEMBER A REALLY GOOD ONE! Me getting demoted from second grade back to kindergarten. After I moved from CA to PA I started school in second grade. I started school on the first day like everyone else so no big deal, and I could speak two languages, so I was "popular" with the girls, fuckyou grigos.  Anyway like 3/4s the way into the year we took these exams that were suppose to tell you how you were doing, and if you were talented/gifted kid or if you were retarded and needed help. I'm pretty sure these tests are done state wide and everyone has to take it. As I was finishing up I was on my last question I had 2 bubbles left. This is were I went fuck, somethings wrong. I did the stupid thing of skipping a questions and NOT skipping a bubble. So like 75% of my answers were wrong. I wanted to tell the teacher, but was afraid that I would have to fix things during my recess so I said nothing. Like a week later I got transfered back to kindergarten, no one told me anything! My teacher just pointed at the kindergarten teacher and she gave me a motion of saying come here, so I went there and spend about a week with a kindergarteners. It was AMAZING, we had snack time and I was the smartest kid in the class no one could touch me in math NOONE. I schooled these bitches like on everything. I didn't say anything, but somehow they found out I'm not retarded and put me back in 2nd grade. Funny part is that my parents didn't find out that they put me back in to kindergarten. I still don't know how I did in the test or if that was the actual reason why they put me in kindergarten again. But I enjoyed it. 
We have that testing in Canada. They call it 3rd grade testing (theres also 6th grade testing). In 6th grade testing I remembered from 3rd grade testing that it didn't count towards your report card so I wrote my first name in capitals for the answer to every question and I got suspended for it.
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I didn't trick schoolmates so much as I had a bad habit of tricking the school staff. I used to chew up my food (usually a school pizza) very thoroughly and mix it with some water, then spit it all out into a toilet. I'd go to the nurses office, which was right next to the principals office, and say I threw up. They'd check it out, affirm the mess was there, and proceed to take my temperature. And even though I never had one, I was always sent home (which was about three blocks away) where I would happily plop down and usually watch some Jurassic Park. :p
I only recall one trick of the same ilk as those mentioned being played on me, though it was in Middle (Junior High) School, not Elementary.
"Are you F.B.I.?"
"No."
"So, you're not a female body inspector?! HAHA"
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On August 05 2008 09:28 BlueRoyaL wrote:Show nested quote +On August 05 2008 09:06 HeavOnEarth wrote:
Whatistheunitofpower?
"what??"
yes watt!
hahaha =p never heard this one before zzz
my academy physics teacher made it up; lol
he's such a great teacher
puns and one liners for everything in physics i swear
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On August 05 2008 08:59 Cloud wrote:
"Hey your head just fell to the ground."
And some people would actually look down o.o
We did "you dropped your pocket!" Haha, every now and then I will do that to people now.
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I remember this rhyme:
Me Chinese me no dumb, me jump on to daddy's bum. He go *fart noise* and i go Boom! And that's how i get down so soon.
I remember asking my first grade teacher how long division worked. The start of my interest in math.
I remember taking 2 ice creams instead of 1 when the lunch lady came around to hand them out. You only got 1 ticket, but in the confusion of so many people grabbing you could get two.
I loved saying you threw up. My parent even condoned it if i was actually sick and they wouldn't believe me. My elementary school somehow didn't believe that if a 2nd grader said they were sick and needed their mom or something that they were telling the truth. SO you could just be like "brb bathroom" and then "i threw up i need to go to the nurse".
I remember gym was especially retarded but me and like 3 other guys would dick on everyone. We played this game where you had a pin and you had to protect it from other people throwing balls. We would form and alliance and destroy, but sometimes someone would bs and kill everything. I remember one year we had this random black dude as a gym teacher who i never saw again, and this kid fell and was crying and he was like "suck it up, get back in the game". I laughed so hard..
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Me: Do you want to join the PEN Fifteen club?
Victim: What is it?
My Friend: We can't tell you until you join. But it's just the coolest.
Victim: Sure
Me: Okay then we need to mark your hand to initiate you.
Victim: Okay
Me: *Writes "PEN15" on his hand*
Victim: waaaah?!
Me and My Friend: Hahahaha what a chump.
My friend got detention for doing that in middle school, no joke, some girl started crying.
On August 05 2008 08:19 shavingcream66 wrote:
teacher gave us some piece of paper where the instructions said to read all of the directions below and it went something like
1. write your name on the top right corner of this paper
2. stand up and yell your name
3. do not follow steps 1-2
Obviously the list was longer. Anyways, it ended up making me look like a retard since i stood up and yelled my name when people who had actually followed the instruction to read ALL of the directions didn't.
this shit was retarded. who the hell reads every single question before starting a test. i got owned by this too, and i was like "but why would i read through everything before i began". and they're like "so you understand the directions" and i'm like "you bitch, these are questions, not instructions.". i think i had to like talk with the guidance counselor (the person doing the test) after class.
I remember the funniest thing at the time that ever happened was someone was in the bathroom and someone outside was like "whos in there" and the kid inside was like "santa clause". I laughed for a good 15 minutes at that in like 1st grade. dunno why.
also i remember telling the teacher this kid was trying to make like a bomb with some batterys and paper clips. it was hilarious he got in so much trouble.
I remember one time i was sitting at the "bad" table for some reason in like 3rd grade. I remember that i had a carrot in my mouth and was pretending it was a cigarette. So this mom from my neighborhood is at school for some reason and is like "ohhhhh you're in trouble". I thought she was talking about me pretending to have a cigarette so i was like meh, but like years later she probably thought i was at that table because i was actually in trouble. I still have no recollection as to why i was actually there. I know i wasn't in trouble, i got upset over getting in trouble in elementary school, so i have no idea.
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On August 05 2008 08:57 SweeTLemonS[TPR] wrote:Show nested quote +On August 05 2008 08:55 Cpt.Cocaine wrote:On August 05 2008 08:37 paper wrote:On August 05 2008 08:19 shavingcream66 wrote:
teacher gave us some piece of paper where the instructions said to read all of the directions below and it went something like
1. write your name on the top right corner of this paper
2. stand up and yell your name
3. do not follow steps 1-2
Obviously the list was longer. Anyways, it ended up making me look like a retard since i stood up and yelled my name when people who had actually followed the instruction to read ALL of the directions didn't.
that's the most retarded set of instructions considering you're supposed to do instructions in order. No I have a copy of this somewhere in one of my psych binders. It's a pretty common thing, alot of teachers have it or at least have heard about it. There's a douzen or so instructions on the list, number 1 clearly says "read the whole list before starting", then the last one tells you to only write your name in the corner and not do any of the others. Yeah, shavingcream666 failed to mention that the first instruction was to read the rest of the instructions before doing anything.
Haha, he did mention it, in the first line of the post you quoted, ironically.
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Anyway, tricks from elementary school...
"Want some punch?" (whilst holding up a carton of Hawaiian Punch, which was all the rage at this time. I trust that you all get the double entendre.)
Similarly: "Want a hundred bucks?" (apparently 'buck' is also slang for a punch, although I've never heard it since elementary school.)
"Want this chocolate bar?", and when after you snatch it, it turns out to be an empty wrapper, "No backsies!"
"Up for grabs!", when someone didn't want something from his lunch, occasionally coupled with
"Down for keeps!" if they were just teasing. If you were quick and managed to grab it before he said down for keeps, though, nothing he could do about that.
"Slap me high...Slap me low...Slap me in the middle [withdraws hand]...You're too slow!"
The two all-purpose comebacks to any insult whatever:
"I know you are, but what am I?"
"I'm rubber, you're glue: whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!"
And finally, my entry for most retarded elementary-school trick ever:
"Put your palms together.
OK, now every time I ask you a question, if the answer is 'no', fold one set of fingers, starting with the pinkies and going up.
Did you kill your mother? [No.]
Did you kill your father? [No.]
Did you kill your sister? [No.]
Then why are you holding a gun!" (See, once you fold three sets of fingers, your hand looks like a gun, sort of. Like the index fingers are the barrel, and the thumb is the hammer? You get it, right?)
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God I used to hate this shit so much in elementary school. I remember having kids telling me these same retarded jokes like 20 times per day, and I got so annoyed that I just stopped talking to them, and as a result had very few friends 
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this wasnt really a trick, but anyways
some kid fell over and broke his wrist and he was sitting down with his feet out and crying, and the teachers came over to help splint his wrist or whatever, and tell him they were calling the ambulance and stuff. and some kid, cant remember who it was, tied his shoelaces together whilst he was sitting there and the kid didnt notice, and when he got up to walk to the office he fell over and landed on his broken wrist and started crying again
edit: this was in year11, when i was 16-17ish
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I vaguely remember some joke involving captain picard
also, watching my friends play pokemon because I was too poor to afford a gameboy
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I remember questions that some kids asked in different languages. And then they would ask you to always answer yes or no.
"#@@!#$$21421321@!#!#? yes or no!"
"I dunno."
"Oh come on, just yes or no."
"Yes?"
"AHAHAHAH BWHAHAHAHA"
"What did you say??"
"BWHAHAHAHHAA"
".."
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You should all be ashamed of yourselves. You guys are helping the OP to think of childish things to do to his poor, poor friends.
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On August 05 2008 11:56 BottleAbuser wrote:
You should all be ashamed of yourselves. You guys are helping the OP to think of childish things to do to his poor, poor friends.
Good
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hahahaha i remember that stupid garbage instruction where the last one was to not follow the instructions
i got owned by it in early middle school and then kinda forgot about it (i was pretty pissed though, because the person who wrote the first instruction apparently failed english. i don't remember what it was exactly but it was something like "read each instruction before starting" instead of "read all the instructions before starting". i was in like a 20minute argument with the teacher about this, because i did read each instruction before doing it, obviously i did it one at a time)
then later i got owned by it again in like grade 9 or something on a fucking test where the last question is like "if you read this, put your hand up 5min after the test starts to get 10 bonus marks"
like what the fuck
from then on i read all the tests in its entirety........ even my university exams. i like to think of it as a mental trick -- i pretend my subconscious or w/e is working on the later questions with remembering relevant facts, etc.
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"Did you hear about how all the hottest guys in the world are going deaf?"
"Wha--"
"HUH WHAT I CAN'T HEAR YOU SPEAK UP"
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Man some of these are gold.
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On August 05 2008 12:02 JeeJee wrote:
hahahaha i remember that stupid garbage instruction where the last one was to not follow the instructions
i got owned by it in early middle school and then kinda forgot about it (i was pretty pissed though, because the person who wrote the first instruction apparently failed english. i don't remember what it was exactly but it was something like "read each instruction before starting" instead of "read all the instructions before starting". i was in like a 20minute argument with the teacher about this, because i did read each instruction before doing it, obviously i did it one at a time)
then later i got owned by it again in like grade 9 or something on a fucking test where the last question is like "if you read this, put your hand up 5min after the test starts to get 10 bonus marks"
like what the fuck
from then on i read all the tests in its entirety........ even my university exams. i like to think of it as a mental trick -- i pretend my subconscious or w/e is working on the later questions with remembering relevant facts, etc.
I refuse that bullshit. I have never had a legitimate test where reading all questions/instructions beforehand helped me at all. rofl I don't know why I'm getting so pissed about this.
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My experience is that it is sometimes helpful.
I generally look at the first problem first, and move on to the next one if:
I cannot answer it immediately - need time to think about it.
It will take me some time to write down the answer.
I don't know the answer.
And if any of the conditions are met for any of the following questions, move on to the next.
Sometimes, this results in me reading the entire test before answering anything. But as the questions tend to be related somehow (come on, they're for the same course), thinking about one sometimes gives perspective on another.
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EPT
