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East Gorteau22261 Posts
On September 21 2014 20:54 coverpunch wrote:
For you unspanked kids - when you did something really bad, how did your parents punish you instead of spanking?
It would also be curious to know if there's a correlation between spanking and emotional abuse. I would guess it's probably positive, parents who don't spank are also less likely to put their kids down emotionally, but I'm curious.
My father grabbed my wrist and stared at me with his "don't push it"-eyes. He wouldn't yell, he definitely wouldn't hit me, and that combination frightened me a lot more than just a slap on the butt would have, I think. Just him grabbing my wrists would make me realize I'd crossed some boundary (even if I sometimes thought I was one witty little fucker), and it'd make me cry more often than not.
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Magic Woods9326 Posts
On September 22 2014 04:56 Zealously wrote:Show nested quote +On September 21 2014 20:54 coverpunch wrote:
For you unspanked kids - when you did something really bad, how did your parents punish you instead of spanking?
It would also be curious to know if there's a correlation between spanking and emotional abuse. I would guess it's probably positive, parents who don't spank are also less likely to put their kids down emotionally, but I'm curious. My father grabbed my wrist and stared at me with his "don't push it"-eyes. He wouldn't yell, he definitely wouldn't hit me, and that combination frightened me a lot more than just a slap on the butt would have, I think. Just him grabbing my wrists would make me realize I'd crossed some boundary (even if I sometimes thought I was one witty little fucker), and it'd make me cry more often than not.
My parents never really had any trouble with me, they could usually talk seriously with me and it would get to me. But in a similar fashion my parents would hold on to me tight if I didn't something really bad.
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On September 22 2014 04:39 Millitron wrote:Show nested quote +On September 22 2014 04:20 DrCooper wrote:On September 22 2014 02:15 Alryk wrote:
I was spanked. But there's a line drawn, I don't think most people consider beating your child until he(she?) bleeds spanking. That's a little extreme, but spanking can definitely be warranted. Ok so according to you, I can slap my kid as often and as hard as I want as long as he/she doesn't bleed? Srsly? Spanking is beating your kid and it is never warrented. It also has possible psychological backlashes. We teach children not to hit other children, yet it is acceptable that we, as the ultimate rolemodel, hit them? It is violence towards somebody, who can't leave, who can't defend themselves and who didn't even chose to be there. This same logic can be argued about ANY punishment. So a child misbehaves, and you take away a toy or something without their permission. Yet you teach the child to not take your things without your permission. Everything has possible psychological backlashes. I find it very hard to believe that if spanking was so bad, that society survived the millennia where it was common.Show nested quote +On September 22 2014 04:37 Grumbels wrote:On September 22 2014 04:20 ZenithM wrote:On September 22 2014 02:48 xM(Z wrote:
well how about this: make another poll, slap it on the first page(OP) and ask people to choose between: being sent to solitary (their room) for a period of time, having their PC/game box/play time taken/restricted, getting lectured about rights and wrongs for about a half an hour and getting spanked, then watch irony rear its ugly head. (i'd take 2 slaps any day then go on with my business) Haha, true that. Which might also show how pointless it is as punishment. It turns kids cynical. All punishments can do that.
Just because something has been done for a long time doesn't mean its worth keeping around. Some traditions are worth getting rid of. We survived the millennia in spite of a lot of really stupid/barbaric/illogical stuff doesn't mean that stuff was worth holding onto.
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"I find it very hard to believe that if homophobia was so bad, that society survived the millennia where it was common".
As the guy above pointed out you can literally say this about thousands of stupid practises that, in some parts of the world, just won't die off. It's actually ridiculous how many nonsense is still going around, one of them is thinking you can educate your children by causing them pain or humiliation.
Your home is supposed to be a save haven. You're not supposed to be scared of your parents, and if you think you need to scare your kids to teach them discipline you're doing it wrong.
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Hunter/gatherers dont do corporal punishment for children and they survived that way much longer than us farmers.
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On September 22 2014 05:11 Nyxisto wrote:
"I find it very hard to believe that if homophobia was so bad, that society survived the millennia where it was common".
As the guy above pointed out you can literally say this about thousands of stupid practises that, in some parts of the world, just won't die off. It's actually ridiculous how many nonsense is still going around, one of them is thinking you can educate your children by causing them pain or humiliation.
Your home is supposed to be a save haven. You're not supposed to be scared of your parents, and if you think you need to scare your kids to teach them discipline you're doing it wrong.
You're offering an opinion and stating it as a fact. It's fine if you think that's the right way, but people are allowed to have differing opinions.
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On September 22 2014 05:20 FiWiFaKi wrote:Show nested quote +On September 22 2014 05:11 Nyxisto wrote:
"I find it very hard to believe that if homophobia was so bad, that society survived the millennia where it was common".
As the guy above pointed out you can literally say this about thousands of stupid practises that, in some parts of the world, just won't die off. It's actually ridiculous how many nonsense is still going around, one of them is thinking you can educate your children by causing them pain or humiliation.
Your home is supposed to be a save haven. You're not supposed to be scared of your parents, and if you think you need to scare your kids to teach them discipline you're doing it wrong. You're offering an opinion and stating it as a fact. It's fine if you think that's the right way, but people are allowed to have differing opinions.
Nobody had any trouble recognising that as an opinion, but thanks for reminding us that opinions are allowed.
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On September 22 2014 05:25 Crushinator wrote:Show nested quote +On September 22 2014 05:20 FiWiFaKi wrote:On September 22 2014 05:11 Nyxisto wrote:
"I find it very hard to believe that if homophobia was so bad, that society survived the millennia where it was common".
As the guy above pointed out you can literally say this about thousands of stupid practises that, in some parts of the world, just won't die off. It's actually ridiculous how many nonsense is still going around, one of them is thinking you can educate your children by causing them pain or humiliation.
Your home is supposed to be a save haven. You're not supposed to be scared of your parents, and if you think you need to scare your kids to teach them discipline you're doing it wrong. You're offering an opinion and stating it as a fact. It's fine if you think that's the right way, but people are allowed to have differing opinions. Nobody had any trouble recognising that as an opinion, but thanks for reminding us that opinions are allowed.
I simply think it's unhealthy to argue in a way that both sides try to argue their points as governing laws of the universe. Not to mention it's unproductive since nobody's opinion has potential to get swayed, regardless of what facts are presented.
You can clearly see in this thread, there are many people who have been spanked, and feel they were better for it, or at the very least, not worse.
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Hong Kong9152 Posts
spanking ceased being a thing once i grew old enough to reason
ive been slapped once since then, but i sure as fuck deserved it
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MrHoon
10183 Posts
got my ass beat by a dictionary from my dad once, but looking back on what i did to make him that angry im amazed he didnt murder me.
not advocating beating kids in anyway, but damn did i deserve it lol
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On September 22 2014 05:32 MrHoon wrote:
got my ass beat by a dictionary from my dad once, but looking back on what i did to make him that angry im amazed he didnt murder me.
not advocating beating kids in anyway, but damn did i deserve it lol
Please do share.
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IMO it's fine so long as the goal is not to cause pain, but to teach that something is worng/bad. Shouldn't leave anything more than a slight red mark if that, it's the action that matters.
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MrHoon
10183 Posts
On September 22 2014 05:33 FiWiFaKi wrote:Show nested quote +On September 22 2014 05:32 MrHoon wrote:
got my ass beat by a dictionary from my dad once, but looking back on what i did to make him that angry im amazed he didnt murder me.
not advocating beating kids in anyway, but damn did i deserve it lol Please do share.
rather not but trust me if my kid did the same to me im pretty sure even a grand beating with pillow would be lethal
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On September 22 2014 05:20 FiWiFaKi wrote:Show nested quote +On September 22 2014 05:11 Nyxisto wrote:
"I find it very hard to believe that if homophobia was so bad, that society survived the millennia where it was common".
As the guy above pointed out you can literally say this about thousands of stupid practises that, in some parts of the world, just won't die off. It's actually ridiculous how many nonsense is still going around, one of them is thinking you can educate your children by causing them pain or humiliation.
Your home is supposed to be a save haven. You're not supposed to be scared of your parents, and if you think you need to scare your kids to teach them discipline you're doing it wrong. You're offering an opinion and stating it as a fact. It's fine if you think that's the right way, but people are allowed to have differing opinions.
we did it boys! we have the first guy actually saying that children should be scared of their parents!
what the fuck...
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On September 22 2014 05:29 FiWiFaKi wrote:Show nested quote +On September 22 2014 05:25 Crushinator wrote:On September 22 2014 05:20 FiWiFaKi wrote:On September 22 2014 05:11 Nyxisto wrote:
"I find it very hard to believe that if homophobia was so bad, that society survived the millennia where it was common".
As the guy above pointed out you can literally say this about thousands of stupid practises that, in some parts of the world, just won't die off. It's actually ridiculous how many nonsense is still going around, one of them is thinking you can educate your children by causing them pain or humiliation.
Your home is supposed to be a save haven. You're not supposed to be scared of your parents, and if you think you need to scare your kids to teach them discipline you're doing it wrong. You're offering an opinion and stating it as a fact. It's fine if you think that's the right way, but people are allowed to have differing opinions. Nobody had any trouble recognising that as an opinion, but thanks for reminding us that opinions are allowed. I simply think it's unhealthy to argue in a way that both sides try to argue their points as governing laws of the universe. Not to mention it's unproductive since nobody's opinion has potential to get swayed, regardless of what facts are presented. You can clearly see in this thread, there are many people who have been spanked, and feel they were better for it, or at the very least, not worse.
Yes and I think most of those people are clearly wrong. Cognitive dissonance is a powerful thing.
This is how internet forums work, idiots post their idiotic opinions and then I post my awesome opinion and we have a slightly less than civil discussion overseen by moderators, all of whom are not you.
User was warned for this post
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Yes, I was spanked, albeit seldomly.
I do not advocate spanking a child in any circumstance whatsoever. There are other methods of disciplining a child aside from physical, emotional, and psychological abuse. There is not a reason, nor will there ever be a reason for hitting a defenseless child.
Most of the punishments involving spanking are due to some disobedience on the part of the child. Physical abuse, including spanking, has been shown to increase risk of displaying behaviors which most parents would disapprove of, for example cheating, lying and bullying. This is likely to make spanking a recurring event as the parent wishes to punish the child for acting in such a way, but in reality the more spanking there is, the higher statistical chance there is of negative behavior in the future!
If you're so inclined, here is a largely objective analysis on this subject.
+ Show Spoiler +
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On September 22 2014 05:40 hfglgg wrote:Show nested quote +On September 22 2014 05:20 FiWiFaKi wrote:On September 22 2014 05:11 Nyxisto wrote:
"I find it very hard to believe that if homophobia was so bad, that society survived the millennia where it was common".
As the guy above pointed out you can literally say this about thousands of stupid practises that, in some parts of the world, just won't die off. It's actually ridiculous how many nonsense is still going around, one of them is thinking you can educate your children by causing them pain or humiliation.
Your home is supposed to be a save haven. You're not supposed to be scared of your parents, and if you think you need to scare your kids to teach them discipline you're doing it wrong. You're offering an opinion and stating it as a fact. It's fine if you think that's the right way, but people are allowed to have differing opinions. we did it boys! we have the first guy actually saying that children should be scared of their parents! what the fuck...
This might not be as unpopular an opinion as you think. Its pretty shocking from a European perspective.
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On September 22 2014 05:40 hfglgg wrote:Show nested quote +On September 22 2014 05:20 FiWiFaKi wrote:On September 22 2014 05:11 Nyxisto wrote:
"I find it very hard to believe that if homophobia was so bad, that society survived the millennia where it was common".
As the guy above pointed out you can literally say this about thousands of stupid practises that, in some parts of the world, just won't die off. It's actually ridiculous how many nonsense is still going around, one of them is thinking you can educate your children by causing them pain or humiliation.
Your home is supposed to be a save haven. You're not supposed to be scared of your parents, and if you think you need to scare your kids to teach them discipline you're doing it wrong. You're offering an opinion and stating it as a fact. It's fine if you think that's the right way, but people are allowed to have differing opinions. we did it boys! we have the first guy actually saying that children should be scared of their parents! what the fuck...
Respect always has an element of fear to it.
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On September 22 2014 06:17 Millitron wrote:Show nested quote +On September 22 2014 05:40 hfglgg wrote:On September 22 2014 05:20 FiWiFaKi wrote:On September 22 2014 05:11 Nyxisto wrote:
"I find it very hard to believe that if homophobia was so bad, that society survived the millennia where it was common".
As the guy above pointed out you can literally say this about thousands of stupid practises that, in some parts of the world, just won't die off. It's actually ridiculous how many nonsense is still going around, one of them is thinking you can educate your children by causing them pain or humiliation.
Your home is supposed to be a save haven. You're not supposed to be scared of your parents, and if you think you need to scare your kids to teach them discipline you're doing it wrong. You're offering an opinion and stating it as a fact. It's fine if you think that's the right way, but people are allowed to have differing opinions. we did it boys! we have the first guy actually saying that children should be scared of their parents! what the fuck... Respect always has an element of fear to it.
That clearly isn't true. I could send you a huge list of people I respect but do not fear in the slightest, but I won't.
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On September 22 2014 05:48 Crushinator wrote:Show nested quote +On September 22 2014 05:40 hfglgg wrote:On September 22 2014 05:20 FiWiFaKi wrote:On September 22 2014 05:11 Nyxisto wrote:
"I find it very hard to believe that if homophobia was so bad, that society survived the millennia where it was common".
As the guy above pointed out you can literally say this about thousands of stupid practises that, in some parts of the world, just won't die off. It's actually ridiculous how many nonsense is still going around, one of them is thinking you can educate your children by causing them pain or humiliation.
Your home is supposed to be a save haven. You're not supposed to be scared of your parents, and if you think you need to scare your kids to teach them discipline you're doing it wrong. You're offering an opinion and stating it as a fact. It's fine if you think that's the right way, but people are allowed to have differing opinions. we did it boys! we have the first guy actually saying that children should be scared of their parents! what the fuck... This might not be as unpopular an opinion as you think. Its pretty shocking from a European perspective.
I was born in europe, and spanked in europe. You are generalizing europe way too much imo, but anyway.
Again, I'll reiterate what I said. I don't think it's something that has a severe impact, whether it's better or worse. There are different methods, but spanking is one of them. If it's just the spanking that was discussed, when it's not to create pain and teach the child, not done out of rage, it's going to make minimal impact on a child.
Abusive parents yes, can leave a long lasting effect on their children, and that's a universal thought.
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EPT
