EPTWere you spanked? - Page 13
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rudimentalfeelthelov
Finland268 Posts
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Copymizer
Denmark2087 Posts
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nath
United States1788 Posts
i only ask because whenever i got spanked it was a belt, never really hand, and i dont see how hand would even hurt unless its a punch, but slaps? either way, its pretty obvious to me that spanking, neurologically speaking, only has adverse effects and is simply never the best way to discipline a child. you might get results, short-term, but you are only doing harm all around, to the child, yourself, your spouse, child's siblings, etc...i dont see how this is a big debate. stupid people saying 'im better for it' is not an actual argument that refutes science (i.e. how the brain is affected by corporal punishment)... | ||
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Faust852
Luxembourg4004 Posts
On September 21 2014 23:27 nath wrote: (seemingly white/european) people talk about 'hand-on-ass' spanking, how does that even work/hurt? isn't that just slapping the butt? i only ask because whenever i got spanked it was a belt, never really hand, and i dont see how hand would even hurt unless its a punch, but slaps? either way, its pretty obvious to me that spanking, neurologically speaking, only has adverse effects and is simply never the best way to discipline a child. you might get results, short-term, but you are only doing harm all around, to the child, yourself, your spouse, child's siblings, etc...i dont see how this is a big debate. stupid people saying 'im better for it' is not an actual argument that refutes science (i.e. how the brain is affected by corporal punishment)... When I typed "Spanking" on Google Image, it was a slap on the butt. A slap just sting a bit and it's more the shame that come with it that is painful imho. If you were hit by a belt, it's not spanking, it's beating the shit out of you. And it should be illegal. | ||
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nath
United States1788 Posts
On September 21 2014 23:32 Faust852 wrote: When I typed "Spanking" on Google Image, it was a slap on the butt. A slap just sting a bit and it's more the shame that come with it that is painful imho. If you were hit by a belt, it's not spanking, it's beating the shit out of you. And it should be illegal. most of your reply is unneccessary and based on my post as a whole, you can clearly see that I understand this. i was just asking about the semantics (i.e. what you mean by spanking). dictionary definitions dont mean anything to me as a non-white person, i just wanted to hear what people THOUGHT of spanking as meaning, so i can empathize/understand their posts better, and i was just saying that it looks like a lot of non-white people MEAN SOMETHING DIFFERENT when they use the word 'spanking'. not that i dont understand that beating with a belt is terrible. edit: and if they do only mean slapping butt and guilt is primary tool of discipline, not pain, most africans and indians i know would not consider that 'spanking'; just in terms of what they think of when they think of spanking. i understand the dictionary dictates differently. | ||
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coverpunch
United States2093 Posts
On September 21 2014 23:27 nath wrote: (seemingly white/european) people talk about 'hand-on-ass' spanking, how does that even work/hurt? isn't that just slapping the butt? i only ask because whenever i got spanked it was a belt, never really hand, and i dont see how hand would even hurt unless its a punch, but slaps? either way, its pretty obvious to me that spanking, neurologically speaking, only has adverse effects and is simply never the best way to discipline a child. you might get results, short-term, but you are only doing harm all around, to the child, yourself, your spouse, child's siblings, etc...i dont see how this is a big debate. stupid people saying 'im better for it' is not an actual argument that refutes science (i.e. how the brain is affected by corporal punishment)... It works in a pretty intuitive way: your parent sits down, puts the kid on their leg, pulls down their pants, and slaps the butt. It hurts but doesn't do damage, but a good part of the pain is the knowledge that you are being punished. Depends on the parent and the kid, I guess. I was a pretty sensitive kid and I felt hurt and cried every time my parents spanked me. You're right that spanking is a short term solution and it often teaches the child that problems should be dealt with aggression as much as it teaches the intended lesson to avoid or do certain behaviors. Hence such kids become much more likely to deal with their own problems with physical aggression and believe it solves the problem. These things are complex and not well understood so you can't say it is completely ineffective, but it does produce lots of bad and unintended consequences so it isn't worth it. | ||
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coverpunch
United States2093 Posts
The more you know... | ||
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nath
United States1788 Posts
yeah I dont think it always breeds kids spanking (like me, i completely reject every aspect of that kind of punishment altogether) but definitely most of the time, it does. i think it is pretty well understood at this point in a lot of ways due to how fast neuroscience is evolving in the West. | ||
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Millitron
United States2611 Posts
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docvoc
United States5491 Posts
EDIT: I should clarify that I live in the south of the U.S. where this is really common and people don't see anything wrong with "it". By "it" I mean with a belt, with a spoon, with a hand, anything. I've had conversations with people about this ranging from very wealthy people to very poor people and the same mentality - that it somehow teaches kids to respect whatever needs to be respected - is prevalent. | ||
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Alryk
United States2718 Posts
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Capped
United Kingdom7236 Posts
On September 22 2014 02:15 Alryk wrote: I was spanked. But there's a line drawn, I don't think most people consider beating your child until he(she?) bleeds spanking. That's a little extreme, but spanking can definitely be warranted. Exactly. The most i could warrant from a "spanking" is a red tan mark. Bruising, bleeding, objects (belt? wtf?) are all just beating an innocent child...Anything that causes more pain than a sting for a couple of minutes is way out of fucking line. | ||
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Grumbels
Netherlands7031 Posts
The debate seemed to boil down to the question of which words could be allowed in public-service radio. As opposed to reflecting on their awful attitude towards homosexuality and the desire to censor free expression, the debate frequently centered on the utterly inane policy question of what should be on the list of bad words. I think this discussion has some similarities. Instead of the policy question of what should be the exact amount of physical force you should use on your children, or what equivalent alternatives there are in case you want to punish your children, I think it's better to look at the larger question of the high incidence of dysfunctional parenting, and to ask ourselves about our cultural expectation to give parents complete control over their children. You can construct a saintly woman that nevertheless spanks her children lightly with perfect intent, and an awful woman that never touches her children but is completely cruel (or even inconsistent/unclear) in other ways. Arguing over random examples is really besides the point, I think more interesting is that it's always conservatives with authority fixations that are concerned with bans on spanking, much like how it's always the same people that obsess about family values that create very hierarchical family structures. | ||
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xM(Z
Romania5281 Posts
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DrCooper
Germany261 Posts
On September 22 2014 02:15 Alryk wrote: I was spanked. But there's a line drawn, I don't think most people consider beating your child until he(she?) bleeds spanking. That's a little extreme, but spanking can definitely be warranted. Ok so according to you, I can slap my kid as often and as hard as I want as long as he/she doesn't bleed? Srsly? Spanking is beating your kid and it is never warrented. It also has possible psychological backlashes. We teach children not to hit other children, yet it is acceptable that we, as the ultimate rolemodel, hit them? It is violence towards somebody, who can't leave, who can't defend themselves and who didn't even chose to be there. | ||
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ZenithM
France15952 Posts
On September 22 2014 02:48 xM(Z wrote: well how about this: make another poll, slap it on the first page(OP) and ask people to choose between: being sent to solitary (their room) for a period of time, having their PC/game box/play time taken/restricted, getting lectured about rights and wrongs for about a half an hour and getting spanked, then watch irony rear its ugly head. (i'd take 2 slaps any day then go on with my business) Haha, true that. | ||
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Grumbels
Netherlands7031 Posts
Which might also show how pointless it is as punishment. It turns kids cynical. | ||
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Millitron
United States2611 Posts
On September 22 2014 04:20 DrCooper wrote: Ok so according to you, I can slap my kid as often and as hard as I want as long as he/she doesn't bleed? Srsly? Spanking is beating your kid and it is never warrented. It also has possible psychological backlashes. We teach children not to hit other children, yet it is acceptable that we, as the ultimate rolemodel, hit them? It is violence towards somebody, who can't leave, who can't defend themselves and who didn't even chose to be there. This same logic can be argued about ANY punishment. So a child misbehaves, and you take away a toy or something without their permission. Yet you teach the child to not take your things without your permission. Everything has possible psychological backlashes. I find it very hard to believe that if spanking was so bad, that society survived the millennia where it was common. On September 22 2014 04:37 Grumbels wrote: Which might also show how pointless it is as punishment. It turns kids cynical. All punishments can do that. | ||
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Grumbels
Netherlands7031 Posts
On September 22 2014 04:39 Millitron wrote: This same logic can be argued about ANY punishment. So a child misbehaves, and you take away a toy or something without their permission. Yet you teach the child to not take your things without your permission. Everything has possible psychological backlashes. I find it very hard to believe that if spanking was so bad, that society survived the millennia where it was common. Have you ever read any literature from before ~1950? Society wasn't that great in the past. There is so much horrific abuse that has largely been rooted out and it's partly because of getting rid of this insane idea that children (and wives and slaves) are property of whoever is boss. | ||
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darthfoley
United States8003 Posts
On September 21 2014 13:12 Millitron wrote: Thats all a child 8 and under will really understand in the heat of the moment. If they're in the middle of misbehaving, you can throw all the rhetoric you want at them, it will not do any good. Just because you were a saint of a child doesn't mean every child is. No. My point: part of the reason I became a mature adult and the person I am today, is because I was taught from a young age that violence doesn't solve problems-- no matter who is doing it. | ||
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