EPTPeople who like clubbing - Page 6
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UdderChaos
United Kingdom707 Posts
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docvoc
United States5491 Posts
On July 23 2013 22:41 aksfjh wrote: I just don't like being around people that are high. While I'm not necessarily this way, my girlfriend is; I can empathize some. One thing I've noticed about clubbing is that it really isn't for everyone. The emphasis on getting drunk or high with friends feels like a return to peer-pressure situations, and not a fun time. If I don't drink or do drugs because I don't think those two are good for me as a person, then I'm pretty much sunk in a club since I'm not going to be drinking or doing MDMA with anyone in there; they might as well just not talk to me lol. Also, I find that when people become high/drunk they find themselves (what they say and do) much more funny than it actually is, and another person has to be similarly drunk/high to appreciate it and laugh. | ||
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Artax
121 Posts
Above all, they are simply trying to fulfill the social need, trying to fit in, trying to connect with others. And I'd argue that a club is one of the worst places to try and feel connected. The suffocating music and crowd, the excessive intoxication, the superficiality... They all foster shallow connections rather than deep, people do not get fulfilled from such activities. | ||
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farvacola
United States18821 Posts
On July 24 2013 02:19 Artax wrote: Whenever I go to a club, I get the repeated feeling that so many people are trying convince themselves they are having fun. They are trying to get lost in the fun that others are showing they are having, trying to link into a collective emotion. Above all, they are simply trying to fulfill the social need, trying to fit in, trying to connect with others. And I'd argue that a club is one of the worst places to try and feel connected. The suffocating music and crowd, the excessive intoxication, the superficiality... They all foster shallow connections rather than deep, people do not get fulfilled from such activities. Here's a hint; not all activities in life are "fulfilling". Some people just wanna dance  | ||
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Artax
121 Posts
On July 24 2013 02:20 farvacola wrote: Here's a hint; not all activities in life are "fulfilling". Some people just wanna dance Dancing is rarely just about dancing. And there is a reason they go to a club to do it. | ||
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Amanebak
Czech Republic528 Posts
On July 24 2013 02:13 UdderChaos wrote: There so much more to clubbing than alcohol and getting laid. Since i stopped getting wasted and feeling like i needed to pull everytime i went out when i was about 19, i started to enjoy clubbing a lot more. I suggest going with a good group of friends and try to have FUN instead of drinking way too much alcohol or caring about girls. You realise the atmosphere is great, music and dancing is sick, and meeting new people is epic. As long as your not on the dance floor there is plenty of seating areas inside the club and out to chat, as i often find myself doing, and you meet random people you'll never seen again. This is actually a good thing, you can have conversations you wouldn't have with someone you knew and you may bump into them again if you club in the same place, and share banter. It's just an awesome experience unless you go with a girlfriend whos prone to crying when drunk or your friends are arseholes who get into fights or drink till they puke. I went to club once, with my friends from uni - they insisted me to go. I didn't want to flirt with girls because I had a gf, I didn't want to dance because I hate it if I am not drunk. I didn't want to drink too much alcohol. I just tried to have FUN. But I couldn't talk because the music was too loud. The air was filled with smoke. And the worst thing: I couldn't do my math  What a terrible experience... | ||
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farvacola
United States18821 Posts
Well that's fine. While you're off in the corner second guessing everyone elses likely drug induced happiness, some people will genuinely be enjoying themselves. Surprise surprise! Clubbing or dancing might not be for you, but psychologizing it in pursuit of basically marginalizing those who do enjoy it is stupid. | ||
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Cheerio
Ukraine3178 Posts
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spkim1
Canada286 Posts
On July 23 2013 21:27 QuanticHawk wrote: how much molly were you on when you posted that op?? of course you can be social and not care for clubs I was pretty damn fucked, I'll admit that lol. On July 23 2013 23:02 ZenithM wrote: So OP, you've been clubbing a few times and you inferred about people's personality and genes? Science, it works. Gotta use what you have at disposition ! "A few times", if by that you mean more than a total of 100 times, at least twice a week, then yes. | ||
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theodorus12
Switzerland129 Posts
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Artax
121 Posts
On July 24 2013 02:27 farvacola wrote: Well that's fine. While you're off in the corner second guessing everyone elses likely drug induced happiness, some people will genuinely be enjoying themselves. Surprise surprise! Clubbing or dancing might not be for you, but psychologizing it in pursuit of basically marginalizing those who do enjoy it is stupid. I hope you aren't taking my analysis personally. If you really do find it so enjoyable then you shouldn't feel any need to get defensive. I just think people convince themselves they are having more fun than they are, and most are not seeking "just dancing" but are seeking to fulfill social needs. That's why they get dressed up and go to a club with hundreds of people instead of dancing at home. It's purely about trying to fulfill social needs. | ||
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UdderChaos
United Kingdom707 Posts
On July 24 2013 02:24 Amanebak wrote: I went to club once, with my friends from uni - they insisted me to go. I didn't want to flirt with girls because I had a gf, I didn't want to dance because I hate it if I am not drunk. I didn't want to drink too much alcohol. I just tried to have FUN. But I couldn't talk because the music was too loud. The air was filled with smoke. And the worst thing: I couldn't do my math What a terrible experience... As a recent mathematics major graduate, at university i did my math first, then went clubbing. | ||
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farvacola
United States18821 Posts
On July 24 2013 02:33 Artax wrote: I hope you aren't taking my analysis personally. If you really do find it so enjoyable then you shouldn't feel any need to get defensive. I just think people convince themselves they are having more fun than they are, and most are not seeking "just dancing" but are seeking to fulfill social needs. That's why they get dressed up and go to a club with hundreds of people instead of dancing at home. It's purely about trying to fulfill social needs. Going to a club to fulfill social needs? Yeah, isn't that the point? And you're right, it isn't just about dancing, it's about dancing in public, so yes, there is a social aspect to clubbing and it's related activities. | ||
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Snotling
Germany885 Posts
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Artax
121 Posts
On July 24 2013 02:38 farvacola wrote: Going to a club to fulfill social needs? Yeah, isn't that the point? And you're right, it isn't just about dancing, it's about dancing in public, so yes, there is a social aspect to clubbing and it's related activities. Now move on to my main point. That the atmosphere of a club only allows shallow connections between people, and therefore does a poor job of fulfilling the need to feel connected to other people. We could make the same argument about texting, for example. | ||
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spkim1
Canada286 Posts
On July 24 2013 02:19 Artax wrote: Whenever I go to a club, I get the repeated feeling that so many people are trying convince themselves they are having fun. They are trying to get lost in the fun that others are showing they are having, trying to link into a collective emotion. Above all, they are simply trying to fulfill the social need, trying to fit in, trying to connect with others. And I'd argue that a club is one of the worst places to try and feel connected. The suffocating music and crowd, the excessive intoxication, the superficiality... They all foster shallow connections rather than deep, people do not get fulfilled from such activities. You see, this sounds like a person who's played WoW until they get to level 20 and then says the game sucks and is boring. Shallowness of connection is exactly what clubs are trying to achieve. Most people who go to clubs and understand its purpose know that they will not be making meaningful and deep connections, and it's exactly what they are looking for. If you really think people are just "trying to convince themselves they are having fun", you've clearly failed hard at feeling the ecstasy emanating from the beat of the music and the dancing to it with the people around you. You have failed to feel the rush of excitement coming from dancing with strangers whom you'll probably never meet again, but with whom you've spent an amazing night. This whole thing is part of the magic of clubbing. And it makes up for some nice memories. I dearly hope you will be able to experience this excitement one day, and break out of your bitter state. Try to see it in another light: the exploding music is not suffocating but resonates down to your soul, the crowd is a pool of happiness you can dive into, intoxication is not as excessive as you think, and superficiality is something you can enjoy in clubs. On July 24 2013 02:33 Artax wrote: I hope you aren't taking my analysis personally. If you really do find it so enjoyable then you shouldn't feel any need to get defensive. I just think people convince themselves they are having more fun than they are, and most are not seeking "just dancing" but are seeking to fulfill social needs. That's why they get dressed up and go to a club with hundreds of people instead of dancing at home. It's purely about trying to fulfill social needs. Why would you go out to the movies to watch a movie when you have a TV/projector and a DVD player at home, or when you have a laptop and can download it HD quality? To be social? Maybe, but I think it's more of a change in atmosphere, a change in environment. If you go to the movies, there's this "good" feeling you don't get to experience when you're in your shorts at home watching the same film. The same thing for restaurants; sure, you can cook yourself a sirloin steak at home and save money, but there's a reason people go to nice restaurants, and it's not because they're trying to fulfill their "social needs". It's just to enjoy man, maybe you should think more simply of this stuff. (Maybe I should, too) | ||
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farvacola
United States18821 Posts
On July 24 2013 02:40 Artax wrote: Now move on to my main point. That the atmosphere of a club only allows shallow connections between people, and therefore does a poor job of fulfilling the need to feel connected to other people. We could make the same argument about texting, for example. Use of the word shallow implies some sort of necessary hierarchy in social interactions, as though there exists this list of "deep" and "shallow" activities with which one can judge the merits of a given activity. I don't think this is the case. There are a lot of people who go to places like bars and clubs with nothing but shallow interaction in mind, this is true, but there are also plenty of people who just want a public place with music they like and a place to dance. It isn't a one size fits all schema. | ||
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DrCooper
Germany261 Posts
Main reason why I don't like clubs is probably the music. Being a musician myself, I don't get house music or todays pop music. There is just no heart in it. The lyrics are beyond stupid compared to older music. Guess I'm born in the wrong decade. Just my 2 cents | ||
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decafchicken
United States20009 Posts
On July 24 2013 02:33 Artax wrote: I hope you aren't taking my analysis personally. If you really do find it so enjoyable then you shouldn't feel any need to get defensive. I just think people convince themselves they are having more fun than they are, and most are not seeking "just dancing" but are seeking to fulfill social needs. That's why they get dressed up and go to a club with hundreds of people instead of dancing at home. It's purely about trying to fulfill social needs. Unfortunately my living room does not contain world class DJs or $10,000 speakers. Sharing that experience with others is amazing as well. Either you just haven't had a good experience or it's just not your thing. This is how i'd re-phrase your sentiments: Above all, they are simply trying to fulfill the desire connect with others. And I'd argue that a club is one of the best places to try and feel connected. The energetic music and crowd, the liberating intoxication, the simple bliss... They all foster deep connections rather than shallow, people feel fulfilled from such activities I've literally been to shows were people left crying because it was such a beautiful experience. When you turn around and you see an entire club full of people all feeling the same emotions of happiness it's incredible. Or you can go and get drunk and try to have sex with something. Plenty of people enjoy those shallow interactions, myself included. Or you can stand in a corner and be miserable, which I have also done. Whatever floats your boat. | ||
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PushDown
Italy208 Posts
Regarding the shy/introverse one. For them to enjoy the place you need to have 2 factors (imo): -Music, duh, if the music that is playing isn't right next to their ally, they will enjoy the clubbing experience as much as marathoner that has to finish their race while shitting themselves... The Dj won't be that much of a factor (anyone in gold league will do just fine for them). -Group atmosphere, you can't have a party of 2, 3, 4shy guys in a club... they won't know how to ease up and enjoy the vibe... At least 1 in the group needs to make it appealing to the others. + Show Spoiler + I've really close friend of mine, who doesn't like clubbing nor drinking and a couple of months ago we went to a random party. First time in years he step into a "club" atmosphere place, with music he didn't listened at all but knew it because of me making him listening to it (Afro music ). The party was really well done, nice lights, awesome djs but.... people around us were like15-17 years old and nobody was dancing. You could see smalls groups here and there but... the dance floor was empty. My friend, doesn't know a single dance move but he still "yolo" the moment and decide to go with me to the dance floor and "dance". We were dancing for like 20-40 minutes before people started joining hahah. For a newbie that is sober and steps into a club for the first time in years, this scenario would be seen like a super awkward place to be. But to my surprise he had a really good sense of the beat and was moving his body really well, not minding the fact that we were the only 2 people in there. I was only moving along with him, giving him some advice and making little chat about the songs that were beeing played one after the other. Seeing him from the outside, one wouldn't guess how shy and calm he really is. Hell! he even made a dance move really cool that I'm keeping in my repertoire :D Drinking booze... well this is really dependant on the personality... My best manfriend/bro usually drinks a couple of shots or 2, 3 heavy cocktails before going into a club. To get that tipsy filling we all love to have  . I personally never drink alcohol, not because I don't like it but because it makes it really hard for me to dance at 100+ bpm.I would go with your second premise and concentrate more on the nurturing part | ||
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