A valedictorian speech usually isn't supposed to be a thank you speech, like for an award. It is usually given as a celebration with your peers for all of you accomplishing graduation, and a memorial to all your years together. Instead of the academy award acceptance style you have going on, perhaps you had better focus on what happened to get you all there and, more importantly, answer the all-important graduation question of "So what do we do now?" Remember, you are speaking as a representative of your entire class, not as one apart from them.
For mine, I outlined a typical day at our high school, highlighting funny and heartwarming events that had happened over the years that everyone could remember and feel a part of. I talked about the lessons that those everyday events taught us, like valuing diversity and serving others, and then urged the class to take those on into the real world. They seemed to like it.
Most important: Make 'em laugh. That's the best you can do for a sweaty arena full of people who just want to get to the after-party. 
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EPT
