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Introversion Awareness - Page 16

Forum Index > General Forum
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57 Corvette
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Canada5941 Posts
December 21 2012 21:33 GMT
#301
ISTJ here, the more I read about introversion, the more I realise that I am strongly an introverted person. After reading a bunch of different descriptions of the ISTJ, most of the things said I can relate to past experiences in my life.
Survival is winning, everything else is bullshit.
dUTtrOACh
Profile Joined December 2010
Canada2339 Posts
December 21 2012 21:44 GMT
#302
I've always known I was more introverted than most of the people I associate with (more I/E or E+ personalities than I). I just had no idea they were incapable of understanding the necessity I have for solitude. It's funny how much everyone around me thinks I should be super outgoing because of all the other things we have in common.
twitch.tv/duttroach
rezoacken
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada2719 Posts
December 21 2012 21:45 GMT
#303
On December 22 2012 06:23 Djzapz wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 22 2012 05:26 rezoacken wrote:
On December 22 2012 03:12 Djzapz wrote:
Being introverted sucks! . Always stumbled into relationships and now that it's falling apart (after 7 years), I'm finding out that I don't know how to date. 23 years old and I've never dated - no f'ing idea how to play "the game" unless pieces just fall in line. Feeling awkward, trying not to overreach while also trying not to let go. No clue wtf is going on. Maybe I'm retarded.

She's extroverted too and I prefer that in a girl. But it makes us kind of incompatible I feel. Maybe. I dunno. Fuck.

Feel free do PM me with all your epic wisdom.


1. You're only 23
2. Most men have "no f'ing idea how to play "the game" unless pieces just fall in line". No matter the age. 40-yo virgins are not a legend.

You'll know how to play it only if you consider it a game and practice it. In other words, if you consider, like any game, that it really is not important to lose and that it is based on a die and retry basis.
Oh and of course take it lightly, with fun.
The biggest challenge for any man when it comes to dating is in my opinion, fear of failure. This creates fear of talking to her, fear of making a move etc... Your challenge is to shut it down.

God you also have fear right now. (unless i misread)

Well here's the thing, I wouldn't have any issue getting laid. I'm alright looking and a few beers does wonders to my social skills because I stop censoring myself. The problem is finding me a nice girl. I have no interest whatsoever in club chicks anymore. To say that I have "fear" is pushing it a bit, but yeah I'd rather not let this one go.

I'm not likely to go after random girls for no reason.


Nobody talked about club chicks or "getting laid". You want a girl for a strong relationship ? Alright that's 100% fine. But how do you expect to find one if you're so focused on a single one and don't "play the game" as you put it ?
About that girl, where are you at with her that you seem to think its so worth it ?
Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.
decaf
Profile Joined October 2010
Austria1797 Posts
December 21 2012 21:54 GMT
#304
Introvert(78%) iNtuitive(50%) Thinking(88%) Judging(78%)
I also usually score ~140 on IQ tests, what do I win?

>inb4 everyone has an IQ of 140
>inb4 IQ doesn't mean anything
>implying that makes me any less superior
Djzapz
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada10681 Posts
December 21 2012 21:58 GMT
#305
On December 22 2012 06:45 rezoacken wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 22 2012 06:23 Djzapz wrote:
On December 22 2012 05:26 rezoacken wrote:
On December 22 2012 03:12 Djzapz wrote:
Being introverted sucks! . Always stumbled into relationships and now that it's falling apart (after 7 years), I'm finding out that I don't know how to date. 23 years old and I've never dated - no f'ing idea how to play "the game" unless pieces just fall in line. Feeling awkward, trying not to overreach while also trying not to let go. No clue wtf is going on. Maybe I'm retarded.

She's extroverted too and I prefer that in a girl. But it makes us kind of incompatible I feel. Maybe. I dunno. Fuck.

Feel free do PM me with all your epic wisdom.


1. You're only 23
2. Most men have "no f'ing idea how to play "the game" unless pieces just fall in line". No matter the age. 40-yo virgins are not a legend.

You'll know how to play it only if you consider it a game and practice it. In other words, if you consider, like any game, that it really is not important to lose and that it is based on a die and retry basis.
Oh and of course take it lightly, with fun.
The biggest challenge for any man when it comes to dating is in my opinion, fear of failure. This creates fear of talking to her, fear of making a move etc... Your challenge is to shut it down.

God you also have fear right now. (unless i misread)

Well here's the thing, I wouldn't have any issue getting laid. I'm alright looking and a few beers does wonders to my social skills because I stop censoring myself. The problem is finding me a nice girl. I have no interest whatsoever in club chicks anymore. To say that I have "fear" is pushing it a bit, but yeah I'd rather not let this one go.

I'm not likely to go after random girls for no reason.


Nobody talked about club chicks or "getting laid". You want a girl for a strong relationship ? Alright that's 100% fine. But how do you expect to find one if you're so focused on a single one and don't "play the game" as you put it ?
About that girl, where are you at with her that you seem to think its so worth it ?

Well I know but 40 year old virgins were mentioned as if this had something to do with sex but it really doesn't. And I guess I have particularly narrow horizons, I'm not going to use the shotgun tactic anytime ever. Just trying to get close to this one girl who apparently has the rep of being pretty hard to get. I don't know if that means it's not "the game" but yeah...
"My incompetence with power tools had been increasing exponentially over the course of 20 years spent inhaling experimental oven cleaners"
OneBk
Profile Joined February 2010
Sweden157 Posts
December 21 2012 22:00 GMT
#306
Intj here. So there are more "weird soical skilled" people then me. that makes me kinda happy that i am not a one case scenario. I wish i hade known this when i was like 16 would have helped me so mutch... :D It feels like they are basicly writing about me and that freaks me out a bit.

Thank you Barrin for my 100% selfasteam buff. <3
E.L.V.I.S
Profile Joined April 2011
Belgium458 Posts
December 21 2012 22:03 GMT
#307
I did the test on this website, can someone explain what the % mean, please ?

(it says I am ISTP with those % : Introvert(89%) Sensing(1%) Thinking(12%) Perceiving(22)%)
http://twitch.tv/maggrig | @SC2ELVIS | http://www.facebook.com/sc2ELVIS
Randomaccount#77123
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States5003 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-12-21 22:43:01
December 21 2012 22:04 GMT
#308
--- Nuked ---
All.In
Profile Joined August 2010
United States214 Posts
December 21 2012 22:11 GMT
#309
That quiz called me an ambivert. Reminds me of pervert sadly.
It is what it is
Iplaythings
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Denmark9110 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-12-21 22:17:44
December 21 2012 22:16 GMT
#310
On December 22 2012 05:37 HazMat wrote:
Jesus christ this is the biggest circlejerk of people with superiority complexes since Reddit.

Becoming insecure because someone is raising awareness on something that you obviously disagree on while pep talking themselves a little?

Controversial things needs to be a bit biased otherwise people won't get it

Did someone just delete the post I responded to?
In the woods, there lurks..
megapants
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States1314 Posts
December 21 2012 22:17 GMT
#311
thanks for the nice OP, barrin. i was going to suggest a video as soon as i started reading (susan cain's TED talk) but i saw you already had it in there. good stuff!

i'm a 20 year old male (21 in march) who has been introverted since forever! as someone once put it, i often "lie in bed and flirt with myself." at the beginning of 2012 i started a journal which i finished near the end of july (~310 pages) and am widdling through the next one. if you are reading this thread and you don't keep a journal or document your thoughts in some way, you are missing out! not only did it make my thoughts feel tangible but it is a great way to see how your thoughts grow over time. i wish now that i had kept journals when i was like 10 or something so i could read them today.

the only thing i disliked about the journal was how slow my handwriting was compared to my thoughts. if this is a hassle for you as well, you can try recording your voice or doing a video diary, or simply type it out in word or on in the blog section if you feel comfortable sharing. even though i get a little frustrated with the pacing, i find it difficult to keep track of digital stuff so i'm gonna stick to the good ol' pen and paper.

On December 22 2012 06:54 decaf wrote:
Introvert(78%) iNtuitive(50%) Thinking(88%) Judging(78%)
I also usually score ~140 on IQ tests, what do I win?

>inb4 everyone has an IQ of 140
>inb4 IQ doesn't mean anything
>implying that makes me any less superior

the only reason anyone would say any of those things is because what you said doesn't really have any potential for discussion; calling you out on those things is the only way to extract a subject matter out of your post. sure, your stats are nice but what does that matter to me? i don't think this is a "who is the BEST/MOST introverted person here?" type of thread.

someone said a earlier that this is just a circle-jerk of people with superiority complexes and i don't think that was the point that barrin was trying to make at all. it only has to be that way if you step in and try and be better than the other people who are just trying to have a conversation.

Grend
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
1600 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-12-21 22:42:22
December 21 2012 22:27 GMT
#312
I guess I am pretty introverted, I just have never contemplated what exactly it was.
But I think I have become more extroverted over time, or at least good at handling boring social situations.
I also really enjoy the company of extremely extroverted people so I do not know.

And thanks for the OP Barrin, it was good and informative and learned me a new concept, or at least put a lot more meaning into the word introverted for me.

I`m INTJ aswell.
♞ Against the Wind - Bob Seger ♞
AUGcodon
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Canada536 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-12-21 22:46:22
December 21 2012 22:37 GMT
#313
Listen, I get what you are saying barrin. It's about understanding what is your strengths and what is your weaknesses. I hope I don't misrepresent your argument. What I and some other people want to point out that social skills can be improved and that social skills is a vital survival skill for most people. Unless you are a genius, good interpersonal skills is absolutely required. I imagine even if you are an engineer, once you get to the managerial position your interpersonal skills will become more and more important.

This brings me to my next point, you are right that you have to right to walk away from people that annoy you. The problems is that life is not that simple. your co-workers could be the annoying ones and you are not in a position to really walk away. You need to relate to them up to a point where they don't feel discomforted by talking to you. Even if you believe the other party said something trite and pointless, you shouldn't act dismissive. This is a kind of social skill that does not come easily to everyone. But the point is that this is a skill that can be practiced. What I am afraid is that in this discussion, people become too focused on being "proud" of introverted. The fact they come to peace with being introverted does not give them an excuse to not pick up social skills.
2809-8732-2116/ Fighting/ Mienfoo, Tyrogue, Sawk
Crissaegrim
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
2947 Posts
December 21 2012 22:57 GMT
#314
On December 21 2012 10:50 Grumbels wrote:
Barrin strikes me as the kind of person who has a beard and ponders about the relative value of Buddhism.


Barrin does have a beard. As proof, I have posted his pic in the spoiler below:
+ Show Spoiler +

[image loading]
McBengt
Profile Joined May 2011
Sweden1684 Posts
December 21 2012 23:00 GMT
#315
On December 22 2012 03:30 cam connor wrote:
Man so many introverts have this really convoluted superiority complex
It's pretty laughable


It's not a sense of superiority, it's a sense of annoyance at constantly being told, directly or surreptitiously, that wouldn't it be better if you would just go out and have fun and meet people and blah blah blah.

It's being constantly nudged into believing that only by pretending to be something you're not can you be happy and successful. It's the thinly veiled arrogance and condescension of ignorant boneheads whose only measurement of social skills is how loud and verbose you can be, it grates on one's patience eventually.
"My twelve year old will out-reason Bill Maher when it comes to understanding, you know, what, uh, how to logic work" - Rick Santorum
Crumpet
Profile Joined May 2011
United States137 Posts
December 21 2012 23:12 GMT
#316
On December 22 2012 08:00 McBengt wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 22 2012 03:30 cam connor wrote:
Man so many introverts have this really convoluted superiority complex
It's pretty laughable


It's not a sense of superiority, it's a sense of annoyance at constantly being told, directly or surreptitiously, that wouldn't it be better if you would just go out and have fun and meet people and blah blah blah.

It's being constantly nudged into believing that only by pretending to be something you're not can you be happy and successful. It's the thinly veiled arrogance and condescension of ignorant boneheads whose only measurement of social skills is how loud and verbose you can be, it grates on one's patience eventually.


Yeah, get annoyed at the people who tell you that to attempt to help you improve your life. I am an introvert. I make myself socialize. It becomes a huge factor in life. It can be the difference between getting what you want out of both life and work, and getting nothing. It's not about pretending to do anything. It's about making connections to the people around you. Generalizing either side, introvert or extrovert, is not cool.
"Because boy bands are no match for fucking missiles." Day9
shinosai
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States1577 Posts
December 21 2012 23:23 GMT
#317
I tend to be unfortunate enough to work at retail jobs (all minimum wage jobs are like this of course) and I pretty much will never stop hearing how I should be more outgoing and talk to people more. I actually believed the mantra that I had to be extroverted or I would suffer an extraordinarily horrible life of loneliness. But eventually, I realized that there is nothing wrong w/ being an introvert, and that I'm a lot happier not trying to be extroverted just so other people can get over their own insecurities.
Be versatile, know when to retreat, and carry a big gun.
AUGcodon
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Canada536 Posts
December 21 2012 23:25 GMT
#318
On December 22 2012 08:00 McBengt wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 22 2012 03:30 cam connor wrote:
Man so many introverts have this really convoluted superiority complex
It's pretty laughable


It's not a sense of superiority, it's a sense of annoyance at constantly being told, directly or surreptitiously, that wouldn't it be better if you would just go out and have fun and meet people and blah blah blah.

It's being constantly nudged into believing that only by pretending to be something you're not can you be happy and successful. It's the thinly veiled arrogance and condescension of ignorant boneheads whose only measurement of social skills is how loud and verbose you can be, it grates on one's patience eventually.


Okay, this was what I was talking about earlier. You are talking about pretending as if something that betrays your sense of innerself. If you really think that way fine, but reality dosen't conform to your expectations. It's about understanding that interpersonal relations is a survival skill. The world does not give a fuck about how you feel if I want to be harsh about it. Learning to smile even if you feel like shit is just something you have to learn. Even if you think another person is a "vapid bonehead", you better be able to keep that thought to your head. And be able to put on a big fucking smile and shake his hand if the situation demands it.
2809-8732-2116/ Fighting/ Mienfoo, Tyrogue, Sawk
McBengt
Profile Joined May 2011
Sweden1684 Posts
December 21 2012 23:26 GMT
#319
On December 22 2012 08:12 Crumpet wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 22 2012 08:00 McBengt wrote:
On December 22 2012 03:30 cam connor wrote:
Man so many introverts have this really convoluted superiority complex
It's pretty laughable


It's not a sense of superiority, it's a sense of annoyance at constantly being told, directly or surreptitiously, that wouldn't it be better if you would just go out and have fun and meet people and blah blah blah.

It's being constantly nudged into believing that only by pretending to be something you're not can you be happy and successful. It's the thinly veiled arrogance and condescension of ignorant boneheads whose only measurement of social skills is how loud and verbose you can be, it grates on one's patience eventually.


Yeah, get annoyed at the people who tell you that to attempt to help you improve your life. I am an introvert. I make myself socialize. It becomes a huge factor in life. It can be the difference between getting what you want out of both life and work, and getting nothing. It's not about pretending to do anything. It's about making connections to the people around you. Generalizing either side, introvert or extrovert, is not cool.


The arrogance is astounding, you are either dense or wilfully obtuse. Has it ever occured to you that getting what you want out of life may not be the same for you as it is for other people? That maybe making yourself socialize, while gratifying for you, would only be an excercise in frustration and exasperation for others? That making connections holds absolutely no interest for some people who are not you? This is the very essence of pretending to be someone else.

If it's not even desirable in the first place, it's not an improvement. Stop assuming that the your model of an ideal life is a one size fits all.

"My twelve year old will out-reason Bill Maher when it comes to understanding, you know, what, uh, how to logic work" - Rick Santorum
shinosai
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States1577 Posts
December 21 2012 23:29 GMT
#320
On December 22 2012 08:25 AUGcodon wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 22 2012 08:00 McBengt wrote:
On December 22 2012 03:30 cam connor wrote:
Man so many introverts have this really convoluted superiority complex
It's pretty laughable


It's not a sense of superiority, it's a sense of annoyance at constantly being told, directly or surreptitiously, that wouldn't it be better if you would just go out and have fun and meet people and blah blah blah.

It's being constantly nudged into believing that only by pretending to be something you're not can you be happy and successful. It's the thinly veiled arrogance and condescension of ignorant boneheads whose only measurement of social skills is how loud and verbose you can be, it grates on one's patience eventually.


Okay, this was what I was talking about earlier. You are talking about pretending as if something that betrays your sense of innerself. If you really think that way fine, but reality dosen't conform to your expectations. It's about understanding that interpersonal relations is a survival skill. The world does not give a fuck about how you feel if I want to be harsh about it. Learning to smile even if you feel like shit is just something you have to learn. Even if you think another person is a "vapid bonehead", you better be able to keep that thought to your head. And be able to put on a big fucking smile and shake his hand if the situation demands it.


You can have interpersonal relations without pretending to be extroverted. It's really not hard. At all. In fact, everyone knows how to fake personal interactions in order to get what they want. That's what we call job interviews. We all have skills at interpersonal relations. Sometimes, we choose not to act on them. Want to know some reasons? Here's one: I've calculated that talking to you will not add anything to my life.
Be versatile, know when to retreat, and carry a big gun.
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