Introversion Awareness - Page 14

I have almost a quarter century experience as an introvert

On December 22 2012 02:27 Zaragon wrote:
r.Evo, I think you’re misinterpreting the whole context of the post, and I don’t think you really understand what it is to be an introvert or else you assume others will misunderstand it instead.

Being an introvert is not an “excuse”. Calling it an excuse puts it in an absolutely ridiculous context far from the purpose, or any proper usage, of the term.

It can however be an explanation for anyone who has yet to come across the concept. Better than generally shitty words like “shyness”, or putting negative connotations to “social skills” because someone doesn’t do small talk. Introversion awareness is important because too many introverts get mislabeled by extroverts in social contexts and start to think of themselves as "socially awkward" because of it.

And that in no way says it’s an “us against them” issue, because it is a highly individual matter. Being an introvert is not a disorder or anything of the like; it’s the same as talking about emotional and unemotional people and the social consequences their interaction has.

The tests and labels are nothing really, they’re just descriptions. How accurate they are doesn’t matter because there is no scale for them to be accurate about.

Many INTPs test as INTJ, whereas the opposite phenomenon is less common. There are several reasons for this difference.

It’s easy. If you haven’t got any doubt you are an INTJ. If you can’t decide which one are you, definitely INTP.

Once more, I agree, being an introvert isn't an excuse. The problem is how easy it is to USE it as an excuse. Being bad at social skills is one thing. Excusing being bad at social skills "because I'm introverted" is another. The latter is an easy excuse to not even give improving them (which might even result in one enjoying social interaction more than before) a try.

So if there's a test and it doesn't matter if it's accurate... I'd call it a useless test that shouldn't be around when you're trying to educate people.

On December 22 2012 03:17 _fool wrote:
Be honest to yourself and to your girl. Only thing I can tell you. It might not be a smooth ride. But it's your ride.

On December 22 2012 02:44 Archaic wrote:
I'd like some feedback with regards to ice-breaking events that people may have to go through during their life. I would consider myself an introvert, though I have gotten used to feigning interest in these ice-breaking events. While it started as social pressure, I began to realize that as an introvert, what I'd do most naturally as an individual is not necessarily what is best for a group.

I have two examples I'd like opinions on:
1) I worked at a summer camp as a counselor. Before the camp officially started, and the counselors were in "training", we had a plethora of team building and ice breaker exercises. Initially, these made me very uncomfortable. I didn't like the idea of them, and I judged that it would simply form superficial friendships. While I never became too close with any of the people I worked with, I have to admit that it did help at least a little to get to know each person just a little bit before I worked with them for a summer.

2) At my church, we have a youth group, focuses for middle school and high school students. As is fairly common in many churches, we have a "welcoming committee", which basically appoints a few extraverted members of the youth group to say hello to the other youths when they walk in, and try to get to know the people that may be new or don't know very many people. When I was a member of that youth group, as well as when I experienced a similar "welcoming committee" at the church I attend at university, I was really bothered by it. As an introvert, I really did not want these random people I did not know to start harassing me with small talk. I felt almost assaulted on a weekly basis until I could finally settle in quietly. Yes, I still made friends at church, but certainly not through the "welcoming committee".
However, I'd like to mention that it was very important for me to finally settle into the group. Yes, it took me longer than usual, and I had to force myself to keep going during a period when I didn't really know very many people. But in the end, being part of the group really does help with the family-like environment that we try to encourage at a church.

My questions are whether any of you think there is some alternative to the above. I feel like the two things I mentioned above really tend to steer introverts away from these communities. However, at the same time, if one is to be part of the community, they have to at least develop some degree of connection.

In short, how can you better introduce introverts into situations where community is a important aspect of the group?

This is something I really have struggled with and I am trying to figure out an alternative to the methods mentioned above, or at least a solution for introverts like myself.

On December 22 2012 03:12 Djzapz wrote:
Being introverted sucks! . Always stumbled into relationships and now that it's falling apart (after 7 years), I'm finding out that I don't know how to date. 23 years old and I've never dated - no f'ing idea how to play "the game" unless pieces just fall in line. Feeling awkward, trying not to overreach while also trying not to let go. No clue wtf is going on. Maybe I'm retarded.

She's extroverted too and I prefer that in a girl. But it makes us kind of incompatible I feel. Maybe. I dunno. Fuck.

On December 22 2012 03:23 SnipedSoul wrote:
Practice. They're called social skills for a reason.

On December 22 2012 03:25 Djzapz wrote:

Well shit I don't have time to practice or she'll find someone else