EPTI have almost a quarter century experience as an introvert
coolest way of saying you are a 25 year old introvert i have ever seen
Introversion Awareness - Page 14
| Forum Index > General Forum |
|
Carras
Argentina860 Posts
I have almost a quarter century experience as an introvert coolest way of saying you are a 25 year old introvert i have ever seen | ||
|
r.Evo
Germany14080 Posts
On December 22 2012 02:27 Zaragon wrote: r.Evo, I think you’re misinterpreting the whole context of the post, and I don’t think you really understand what it is to be an introvert or else you assume others will misunderstand it instead. Being an introvert is not an “excuse”. Calling it an excuse puts it in an absolutely ridiculous context far from the purpose, or any proper usage, of the term. It can however be an explanation for anyone who has yet to come across the concept. Better than generally shitty words like “shyness”, or putting negative connotations to “social skills” because someone doesn’t do small talk. Introversion awareness is important because too many introverts get mislabeled by extroverts in social contexts and start to think of themselves as "socially awkward" because of it. And that in no way says it’s an “us against them” issue, because it is a highly individual matter. Being an introvert is not a disorder or anything of the like; it’s the same as talking about emotional and unemotional people and the social consequences their interaction has. I can take almost any of the statemens in the OP about introverts, apply them to me and say "yup that's me", from that I'd guess I can understand it very well. Once more, I agree, being an introvert isn't an excuse. The problem is how easy it is to USE it as an excuse. Being bad at social skills is one thing. Excusing being bad at social skills "because I'm introverted" is another. The latter is an easy excuse to not even give improving them (which might even result in one enjoying social interaction more than before) a try. Someone who is introverted or extroverted isn't inherently socially awkward. There's correlation, but no causation. If someone is "socially awkward" then, well, he probably just never learned certain social skills. That's fine, he can do that whenever he wants to, if he wants to. Assuming causation implies that he has more trouble doing so than anyone else. The biggest thing that I notice from working with people who want to improve their social skills is to get over their inherent belief of being bad at them because they experienced so much negative feedback. Actually learning and improving social skills is the easy part of the whole thing. The tests and labels are nothing really, they’re just descriptions. How accurate they are doesn’t matter because there is no scale for them to be accurate about. So if there's a test and it doesn't matter if it's accurate... I'd call it a useless test that shouldn't be around when you're trying to educate people. | ||
|
Raysalis
Malaysia1034 Posts
INTJ Introvert(100%) iNtuitive(25%) iNtuitive Thinking(25%) Judging(22%) | ||
|
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
| ||
|
nucLeaRTV
Romania822 Posts
Right now I will just browse both /r/INTJ and /r/INTP for a while to see where I fit the best. Can't believe I have never seen this classification before. Gosh, I'm such an incompetent. Makes me wonder what other piece of information I missed that would've blown my mind as much as this topic. Edit: Somebody said Many INTPs test as INTJ, whereas the opposite phenomenon is less common. There are several reasons for this difference. Also It’s easy. If you haven’t got any doubt you are an INTJ. If you can’t decide which one are you, definitely INTP. | ||
|
Archaic
United States4024 Posts
I have two examples I'd like opinions on: 1) I worked at a summer camp as a counselor. Before the camp officially started, and the counselors were in "training", we had a plethora of team building and ice breaker exercises. Initially, these made me very uncomfortable. I didn't like the idea of them, and I judged that it would simply form superficial friendships. While I never became too close with any of the people I worked with, I have to admit that it did help at least a little to get to know each person just a little bit before I worked with them for a summer. 2) At my church, we have a youth group, focuses for middle school and high school students. As is fairly common in many churches, we have a "welcoming committee", which basically appoints a few extraverted members of the youth group to say hello to the other youths when they walk in, and try to get to know the people that may be new or don't know very many people. When I was a member of that youth group, as well as when I experienced a similar "welcoming committee" at the church I attend at university, I was really bothered by it. As an introvert, I really did not want these random people I did not know to start harassing me with small talk. I felt almost assaulted on a weekly basis until I could finally settle in quietly. Yes, I still made friends at church, but certainly not through the "welcoming committee". However, I'd like to mention that it was very important for me to finally settle into the group. Yes, it took me longer than usual, and I had to force myself to keep going during a period when I didn't really know very many people. But in the end, being part of the group really does help with the family-like environment that we try to encourage at a church. My questions are whether any of you think there is some alternative to the above. I feel like the two things I mentioned above really tend to steer introverts away from these communities. However, at the same time, if one is to be part of the community, they have to at least develop some degree of connection. In short, how can you better introduce introverts into situations where community is a important aspect of the group? This is something I really have struggled with and I am trying to figure out an alternative to the methods mentioned above, or at least a solution for introverts like myself. | ||
|
Dracolich70
Denmark3820 Posts
| ||
|
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
| ||
|
KirA_TheGreaT
France204 Posts
| ||
|
Zaragon
Sweden235 Posts
Once more, I agree, being an introvert isn't an excuse. The problem is how easy it is to USE it as an excuse. Being bad at social skills is one thing. Excusing being bad at social skills "because I'm introverted" is another. The latter is an easy excuse to not even give improving them (which might even result in one enjoying social interaction more than before) a try. But no one is doing that, and it can’t even be done because it doesn’t make sense, and nothing in the OP implies it makes sense. What am I missing here? Being an introvert or extrovert only has incidental connections to social skills, but most extroverts mistakenly perceive introverts as bad at them. That affects self image of introverts, if all they previously know is that they're apparently "socially awkward" or "shy", when in truth they're just introverts and their social skills are better in other situations. Learning about being introverted is far more likely to cause someone to think about which ways they might be better naturally, and to discard confidence issues from being mislabeled, than to cause some strange kind of reaching for an excuse that isn't there for an issue that never was there to begin. So if there's a test and it doesn't matter if it's accurate... I'd call it a useless test that shouldn't be around when you're trying to educate people. The tests mean as much as you want them to. They’re much like reading a book; you take away something if there is something for you to take away, but it’s not so likely to corrupt you that it’s not worth reading if you feel like it. | ||
|
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
| ||
|
Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
 . Always stumbled into relationships and now that it's falling apart (after 7 years), I'm finding out that I don't know how to date. 23 years old and I've never dated - no f'ing idea how to play "the game" unless pieces just fall in line. Feeling awkward, trying not to overreach while also trying not to let go. No clue wtf is going on. Maybe I'm retarded.She's extroverted too and I prefer that in a girl. But it makes us kind of incompatible I feel. Maybe. I dunno. Fuck. Feel free do PM me with all your epic wisdom. | ||
|
_fool
Netherlands675 Posts
 I've always felt like I was more or less spot on in the middle of the Myers-Briggs diagram. Turns out I am (for what the ~72 question test is worth) an ISFJ (Introvert(22%) Sensing(1%) Feeling(50%) Judging(33%)). What I noticed mostly in the impressive OP is the explanation about extroverts gaining energy when taking part in social events, whereas introverts actually drain themselves when taking part in social events. I always thought that social events were exhaustive for everyone, but somehow it was more exhaustive for me Only now do I realize that other (extrovert) people actually thrive in that environment. So far for " spot on in the middle": I'm an introvert! Hell yeah!And to the poster above me: On December 22 2012 03:12 Djzapz wrote: Being introverted sucks! . Always stumbled into relationships and now that it's falling apart (after 7 years), I'm finding out that I don't know how to date. 23 years old and I've never dated - no f'ing idea how to play "the game" unless pieces just fall in line. Feeling awkward, trying not to overreach while also trying not to let go. No clue wtf is going on. Maybe I'm retarded.She's extroverted too and I prefer that in a girl. But it makes us kind of incompatible I feel. Maybe. I dunno. Fuck. Be honest to yourself and to your girl. Only thing I can tell you. It might not be a smooth ride. But it's your ride. | ||
|
Callynn
Netherlands917 Posts
Introvert(100%) iNtuitive(25%) iNtuitive Thinking(50%) Judging(56%) INTJ | ||
|
h3r1n6
Iceland2039 Posts
Anyway, I am an introvert. I do enjoy parties, but I had to learn that first and I will never enjoy being at the center of it. | ||
|
Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On December 22 2012 03:17 _fool wrote: Be honest to yourself and to your girl. Only thing I can tell you. It might not be a smooth ride. But it's your ride. =P which one... current one is probably on her way out out of a mutual arrangement for a "break" which probably just leads to parting ways... | ||
|
SnipedSoul
Canada2158 Posts
On December 22 2012 02:44 Archaic wrote: I'd like some feedback with regards to ice-breaking events that people may have to go through during their life. I would consider myself an introvert, though I have gotten used to feigning interest in these ice-breaking events. While it started as social pressure, I began to realize that as an introvert, what I'd do most naturally as an individual is not necessarily what is best for a group. I have two examples I'd like opinions on: 1) I worked at a summer camp as a counselor. Before the camp officially started, and the counselors were in "training", we had a plethora of team building and ice breaker exercises. Initially, these made me very uncomfortable. I didn't like the idea of them, and I judged that it would simply form superficial friendships. While I never became too close with any of the people I worked with, I have to admit that it did help at least a little to get to know each person just a little bit before I worked with them for a summer. 2) At my church, we have a youth group, focuses for middle school and high school students. As is fairly common in many churches, we have a "welcoming committee", which basically appoints a few extraverted members of the youth group to say hello to the other youths when they walk in, and try to get to know the people that may be new or don't know very many people. When I was a member of that youth group, as well as when I experienced a similar "welcoming committee" at the church I attend at university, I was really bothered by it. As an introvert, I really did not want these random people I did not know to start harassing me with small talk. I felt almost assaulted on a weekly basis until I could finally settle in quietly. Yes, I still made friends at church, but certainly not through the "welcoming committee". However, I'd like to mention that it was very important for me to finally settle into the group. Yes, it took me longer than usual, and I had to force myself to keep going during a period when I didn't really know very many people. But in the end, being part of the group really does help with the family-like environment that we try to encourage at a church. My questions are whether any of you think there is some alternative to the above. I feel like the two things I mentioned above really tend to steer introverts away from these communities. However, at the same time, if one is to be part of the community, they have to at least develop some degree of connection. In short, how can you better introduce introverts into situations where community is a important aspect of the group? This is something I really have struggled with and I am trying to figure out an alternative to the methods mentioned above, or at least a solution for introverts like myself. I think having something to work on is a good way to help introverts get to know people. Most of the friends I made during university were lab partners or part of my project groups. It's nice having something to keep you occupied so that you don't go into overthinking mode where you get too worried about making a social faux pas, if you're making a good impression, etc. Having tons of strangers constantly approaching you and asking tons of questions is a sure way to overwhelm an introvert. Once you get friendlier with the people in your group, it's much easier to be introduced to other people. Having all that interaction dumped on you at once is too much for a lot of introverts, particularly young introverts who can be less comfortable with social interaction due to lack of positive experience. On December 22 2012 03:12 Djzapz wrote: Being introverted sucks! . Always stumbled into relationships and now that it's falling apart (after 7 years), I'm finding out that I don't know how to date. 23 years old and I've never dated - no f'ing idea how to play "the game" unless pieces just fall in line. Feeling awkward, trying not to overreach while also trying not to let go. No clue wtf is going on. Maybe I'm retarded.She's extroverted too and I prefer that in a girl. But it makes us kind of incompatible I feel. Maybe. I dunno. Fuck. Practice. They're called social skills for a reason. | ||
|
Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On December 22 2012 03:23 SnipedSoul wrote: Practice. They're called social skills for a reason. Well shit I don't have time to practice or she'll find someone else  | ||
|
LaSt)ChAnCe
United States2179 Posts
On December 22 2012 03:25 Djzapz wrote: Well shit I don't have time to practice or she'll find someone else have her take one of the surveys to see what kind of extrovert she is... then talk about it and compare it with your type of introvert so that she understands how to interact with you and knows what to expect... it will make life easier for you | ||
|
Cam Connor
Canada786 Posts
It's pretty laughable | ||
| ||
