Introversion Awareness - Page 15

On December 22 2012 03:30 cam connor wrote:
Man so many introverts have this really convoluted superiority complex
It's pretty laughable

Pythagoras wrote:
Silence is better than unmeaning words.

On December 22 2012 03:30 LaSt)ChAnCe wrote:
have her take one of the surveys to see what kind of extrovert she is... then talk about it and compare it with your type of introvert so that she understands how to interact with you and knows what to expect... it will make life easier for you

On December 22 2012 03:12 Djzapz wrote:
Being introverted sucks! . Always stumbled into relationships and now that it's falling apart (after 7 years), I'm finding out that I don't know how to date. 23 years old and I've never dated - no f'ing idea how to play "the game" unless pieces just fall in line. Feeling awkward, trying not to overreach while also trying not to let go. No clue wtf is going on. Maybe I'm retarded.

She's extroverted too and I prefer that in a girl. But it makes us kind of incompatible I feel. Maybe. I dunno. Fuck.

Feel free do PM me with all your epic wisdom.

On December 22 2012 03:59 puppykiller wrote:


My advice is to:
1: Not try so hard to hold on to her like she is your only option (whether she is or she isn't)
2: Write a girl blog

On December 22 2012 03:12 Djzapz wrote:
Being introverted sucks! . Always stumbled into relationships and now that it's falling apart (after 7 years), I'm finding out that I don't know how to date. 23 years old and I've never dated - no f'ing idea how to play "the game" unless pieces just fall in line. Feeling awkward, trying not to overreach while also trying not to let go. No clue wtf is going on. Maybe I'm retarded.

She's extroverted too and I prefer that in a girl. But it makes us kind of incompatible I feel. Maybe. I dunno. Fuck.

Feel free do PM me with all your epic wisdom.

On December 22 2012 04:52 rhs408 wrote:
There's only three ways this will end:

1. You change the kind of person you are
2. She changes the kind of person she is
3. You both part ways and agree to "just be friends"

Sooner or later, she is going to realize and understand what kind of person you are. If she is as extroverted as you say, I'm sorry to say, it probably is not going to last, unless you are prepared to make some huge changes in yourself, as she is certainly not going to be the one to change and become more introverted (or even ACCEPTING of introverts) just to be in a relationship with you. Her extroverted friends wouldn't allow that even if she wanted to. So you need to ask yourself: is this chick worth me making some big changes within myself to become more outgoing? Or should you perhaps try and find someone who will love you for you, introvert or not? Maybe she's worth making a change for - that's up to you. I met my girlfriend of 7 years online via wc3/dota - she's more extroverted than I am, but not to the point to where she gets upset with me if I don't go along with her to a social engagement and instead stay home. She knows who I am and won't force me to go somewhere if I don't want to go (unless it's like her grandma's birthday or something, lol). I don't think the relationship would last very long though if she was as big of an extrovert as say, my older sister. My anti-social behavior would be totally unacceptable. This may be the same case with this girl you are dating. As time goes on, she will get more and more frustrated with your not wanting to be "social". Chances are, she won't be willing to accept it or change herself, either you'll have to change or she will be gone.

I would tell it to her like this though:

"I'm probably not the most social person that you've ever met, but I'm trying really hard to change that just so I can be with you" or something along those lines (I think showing her this thread would be a bit much for her). Hopefully she will then be a little more patient with your lack of "social skills" and she'll understand/appreciate that you are at least trying to "improve". Maybe then you can make it work. But if you truly are an introvert, changing your introverted ways will be a horribly exhausting process for you - I wish you lots of luck.

On December 22 2012 05:05 JudicatorHammurabi wrote:
I am pretty extroverted, but I always enjoy time I spend alone, too. I don't know where that puts me, but I have no problem with doing either. However, I have no trouble at all talking with people, I'm not shy or intimidated, and sometimes I talk way too much lol.

That said, for those in college, go Greek.

On December 22 2012 03:12 Djzapz wrote:
Being introverted sucks! . Always stumbled into relationships and now that it's falling apart (after 7 years), I'm finding out that I don't know how to date. 23 years old and I've never dated - no f'ing idea how to play "the game" unless pieces just fall in line. Feeling awkward, trying not to overreach while also trying not to let go. No clue wtf is going on. Maybe I'm retarded.

She's extroverted too and I prefer that in a girl. But it makes us kind of incompatible I feel. Maybe. I dunno. Fuck.

Feel free do PM me with all your epic wisdom.

On December 22 2012 05:17 Djzapz wrote:

I'll avoid talking about the current situation because it's complicated and I have some friends who'll read this and I'll hear about it... But yeah I'm fully capable of being social - there's just no way I can really integrate it to my personality.

On December 22 2012 05:26 rezoacken wrote:


1. You're only 23
2. Most men have "no f'ing idea how to play "the game" unless pieces just fall in line". No matter the age. 40-yo virgins are not a legend.

You'll know how to play it only if you consider it a game and practice it. In other words, if you consider, like any game, that it really is not important to lose and that it is based on a die and retry basis.
Oh and of course take it lightly, with fun.
The biggest challenge for any man when it comes to dating is in my opinion, fear of failure. This creates fear of talking to her, fear of making a move etc... Your challenge is to shut it down.

God you also have fear right now. (unless i misread)

On December 22 2012 05:31 rhs408 wrote:

I hear ya. I'm fully capable of being social as well - I can be a real charmer at times. But I admit I can't keep it up for long (the word "exhausting" comes to mind again). So the question is, how long can you "be social" before you run out of steam? Then ask yourself, would I be willing and able to spend a large percentage of my day bearing this "I'm social! I'm talkative! I really really am!" facade to be with this girl? I can probably think of a few hot chicks that I've come across in my life where I'd be willing to make this sacrifice if it meant I could be with them... I hope this one is worth the effort for you.

On December 22 2012 05:52 Zahir wrote:
I don't get introverts (I am an introvert) who act as if they are some oppressed, barely understood minority. Take phrases like "American society tends to emphasize that success comes from being outgoing." American society is individualist to the point of being anti social, if we're talking about the spectrum of societies. American culture is full of tropes like the rugged, no compromises, anti hero willing to go against the grain and not make any friends doing it. We've had famous real life introverts who made a huge impact on our common psyche. From agonized or melancholic quiet types ... witness the movie Lincoln... to scores of undersocialized nerds, to where being a nerd is now neutral or even a positive label. To insinuate that a rich, storied, diverse culture is somehow biased against introverts or fails to understand them is an oversimplification.

Here's the actual problem. There are idiots (introvert and extrovert alike), and there are over sensitive types who interpret their few experiences with such people as representative of an entire society. Why is everyone so social and outgoing and not understanding of people who aren't?! The answer to that question should be obvious given a moments thought. People who aren't outgoing are less likely to express their opinions. Idiots are also more likely to express idiotic opinions. Therefore opinion in general will seem skewed, particularly if the only people you bother to meet are the few loud idiots oblivious to your highly non outgoing introvert vibe. Consider that if your introversion is the most noticeable aspect of your personality, it will often become the immediate topic of any less than tactful individual you come across, in their well meaning and blundering attempt to find some subject to break the ice.

I just dislike threads like these that try to act like being introverted AND being automatically understood and accepted by everyone you come across is somehow their right. It's fine to have a personality but you do understand that introversion logically necessitates that you are less understood and accepted than someone who goes out of their way to communicate and be understood. It's not discrimination, but a natural consequence of actions. All this affirmative action passive aggressive hug box crap about educating the masses about us introverts and how special we are is twice as mindless and annoying as anything extroverts do.

Edit: it's a typical introverted response to make posts like these and try to come up with some convoluted scheme about enlightening society rather than face the horror of interacting and explaining their preferences to people in their lives.