Introversion Awareness
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Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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decado90
United States480 Posts
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Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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SnipedSoul
Canada2158 Posts
I appreciate the effort you put into making that ginormous post. Anything to increase awareness would be cool. I'm tired of people thinking that introverts are psychotic time bombs waiting to go off. | ||
wooozy
3813 Posts
On December 21 2012 09:01 Barrin wrote: Could you elaborate on what you mean by myth? i assume the 10 myths listed in the OP...? as an introvert myself, i'd say those describe me pretty accurately as well. long, but nice read ![]() On December 21 2012 09:05 SnipedSoul wrote: Being introverted is cool. I know some people whose lives come to an end when they have nowhere to go on a Friday. I appreciate the effort you put into making that ginormous post. Anything to increase awareness would be cool. I'm tired of people thinking that introverts are psychotic time bombs waiting to go off. haha, i remember in my AP psych class in high school, my teacher said (sort of jokingly, but i sensed a hint of seriousness) that i'd wind up being a serial killer or something along those lines 'cause i'd always just sit in the corner not talking to anyone and just doing my own thing. not sure if i should've been insulted or not | ||
jdseemoreglass
United States3773 Posts
Not so sure about the myths though. I do dislike most people for one thing ![]() | ||
CrispyTender
Canada166 Posts
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iKill
Denmark861 Posts
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BluePanther
United States2776 Posts
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Eppa!
Sweden4641 Posts
Chef and Architect are very social jobs. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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BluePanther
United States2776 Posts
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Livelovedie
United States492 Posts
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Larkin
United Kingdom7161 Posts
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PolskaGora
United States547 Posts
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Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Belisarius
Australia6221 Posts
There was a poll a while ago that asked for the Myers-Briggs types. Something like 90% of TL turned out to be INTP/INTJ, which I found both surprising and apt. I'd take any of those personality things with a grain of salt, though. People are complicated, and it's easy to go a bit far in identifying yourself as "an introvert" and intentionally letting that rule your life. I also don't agree with a lot of the job things. | ||
My_Fake_Plastic_Luv
United States257 Posts
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Myles
United States5162 Posts
On December 21 2012 09:28 Barrin wrote: I did try to convey that where possible. I'll pick out all the parts where I do if you'd like (when I listed Lady Gagy as an introvert I thought this mix of qualities was crystal clear). Keep in mind I didn't make most of this stuff, I'm just presenting it. I've seen these type tests in the past that give you a percentage of what you are rather than a absolute type. I'm certainly an introvert(always score like 75% on that) but the others would be a lot more moderate(~60%). | ||
SkyfOu
United States81 Posts
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iamho
United States3345 Posts
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Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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crazyweasel
607 Posts
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Brosy
United States254 Posts
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Cascade
Australia5405 Posts
On December 21 2012 09:10 BluePanther wrote: I'm very introverted (a very strong INTP), but I've also learned that if you aren't social you won't excel in life. You need to be extroverted at times to accomplish great things. You can be content as an introvert, but learning how to be extroverted when the situation calls for it is very important. Also INTP (weak I, strong NTP) and I agree. extroversion is an important skill toi have. As is introversion sometimes I feel, although the virtues of introversion are less voices, for some mysterious reason. ![]() | ||
Mstring
Australia510 Posts
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Spermwahale
United States85 Posts
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Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Zypher_
Sweden27 Posts
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Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Brosy
United States254 Posts
On December 21 2012 09:49 Mstring wrote: If you think "I'm an introvert", so you will remain. Drop the labels and you're free. Nonsense. Being an introvert or extrovert has nothing to do with how you think. For instance if I go to an event that where I am talking with a bunch of people that I don't know, to just stop thinking that I'm an introvert will not make me more comfortable with the situation. | ||
puppykiller
United States3126 Posts
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
On December 21 2012 08:58 decado90 wrote: I'm an introvert and basically every 'myth' applies to me O_o If it helps I'd say those myths used to apply to me when I was younger. Especially from 16 to 20. Now being older I feel that I'm just more comfortable being a quiet and calm person without being weak and most of those myths really don't apply anymore. I'd say those myths are more about being uncomfortable in your own skin, a general lack of passion or being too stressed about social pressures than they are about being introverted. Give yourself some time to grow and discover those things. Things also get better when being cool for your entourage is no longer being about getting naked and drunk. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Grettin
42381 Posts
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Mstring
Australia510 Posts
On December 21 2012 09:53 Brosy wrote: Nonsense. Being an introvert or extrovert has nothing to do with how you think. For instance if I go to an event that where I am talking with a bunch of people that I don't know, to just stop thinking that I'm an introvert will not make me more comfortable with the situation. Self-dialog is everything. If you think you know a certain thing, you won't look for evidence to the contrary. On December 21 2012 09:55 Barrin wrote: Honestly, fuck you for implying introversion is a bad thing. I did no such thing. I'm implying that these labels and identities lead to rigid thinking and less freedom. | ||
Impervious
Canada4183 Posts
The best way to describe myself would be that I am introverted most of the time, but when I need to be extroverted, then I change gears. I definitely think that trying to categorize people as solely introverted or solely extroverted is really bad, because I know that I am definitely not one or the other. | ||
babylon
8765 Posts
It's actually even worse when you are trying to network in a field populated by introverts (e.g. academia). Talk about some of the most cringe-worthy, awkward conversations in your life. Not awkward in subject, but just awkward in flow. | ||
killa_robot
Canada1884 Posts
Unless you have other people telling you that you're quiet, I don't think you can consider yourself an introvert. You may PREFER to be alone, but if you socialize normally (outwards), I think you're more half and half. | ||
RoieTRS
United States2569 Posts
I've been called shy or whatever bogus all my life and it has nothing to do with introversion vs extroversion. It is simply people give you shit about anything unless you tell them to back off. This is a scam I wouldn't be surprised if people started writing books on this soon or whatever else they do to get money | ||
BluePanther
United States2776 Posts
On December 21 2012 09:54 puppykiller wrote: I think a lot of intimidated or shy people tend to claim introversion to justify their anti-social activity. I know that I and many people I know used to or currently do this. You say that like "anti-social activity" is necessarily a bad thing. I like going out and doing social things from time to time. However, there always comes a point where I need to be by myself or I'll become irritable. It varies in duration from time to time, but the point of introversion is that you "emotionally recharge" when alone, not that you are social misfit. I can understand how the two can be confused, but they are not the same thing. Understanding your own needs as an introvert can improve your life. It prevents you from burning yourself out and lets you develop the skills you naturally lack. | ||
puppykiller
United States3126 Posts
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Exigaet
Canada355 Posts
Pre-puberty, most of my time would be spent interacting with friends or trying out for school teams. I was also much more talkative in a group setting than I am now. Post-puberty, I couldn't wait until school was over and would hang out with friends, (not talking, just listening and observing, everyone would try to get me to talk but I just wasn't interested) until the earliest bus came and I could go home. | ||
mumming
Faroe Islands256 Posts
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Mstring
Australia510 Posts
On December 21 2012 09:55 Barrin wrote: Honestly, fuck you for implying introversion is a bad thing. You'll be free when you can accept who you are - you kinda sound like someone who hasn't. Is this a subtle put-down attempt? Why would you say this? | ||
SiegeFlank
United States410 Posts
That said, I do get energy from anything that forces me to use my problem solving skills. So even if I'm tired, I don't have as much of a problem hanging out with people if I know that we're going to be playing a game of some kind together. Games are just a great social activity for everyone involved. Here's another video about INTJs and being extroverted that I really like: This guy also just has a lot of good videos about the different personality types in general. | ||
playa
United States1284 Posts
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Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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CosmicSpiral
United States15275 Posts
I am a person who spends several hours of isolated time per day to work on my writing skills. I generally do not look forward to making friends unless they are trustworthy people who are deeply driven to succeed. Conversations with useless words annoy me. Reading philosophy books in the comfort of solitude is one of the most enjoyable activities in the world. However I enjoy working out by going outside. Talking to strangers is a great pleasure; popping off can be even better. The exhilaration of a physical fight is one of the most subtle pleasures in the world. The "dichotomy" between extroversion and introversion only exists if you accept its existence. Many of the traits associated with one cross over into the other and can be extremely beneficial. | ||
Thereisnosaurus
Australia1822 Posts
I would say that the introvert's answer to extroverted charisma and social skill is what might be called 'force of will', the sort of thing you see in someone that tells you this person is both a) not to be fucked with and b) is worth not fucking with because they have their head screwed on straight. Introverts who aren't ashamed of what they feel and represent have incredible raw charisma in their sheer self confidence. I've always seen these people as role models and they've helped me shape myself into my current psychological state. You can be an introvert and still a leader. You simply lead by example, not rhetoric. | ||
rasnj
United States1959 Posts
On December 21 2012 10:05 Mstring wrote: Is this a subtle put-down attempt? Why would you say this? Why would we want to be free of the labels? The whole introvert vs extrovert dichotomy is just a recognition that most people fairly neatly divides into one class or the other, and further it is the idea that perhaps the groups need to be taught about each other and how to interact because there is a lack of understanding between the groups. You can compare it to the realization that there are boys and girls (or straight and gay people if you want something less physical), and it helps children to get some idea how to interact with the other group. As the OP explains many people have experienced that introvert tendencies as you grow up are treated with an attempt to "cure" them and make you more extrovert. Your post makes it sound like you have the same approach. It is similar to someone coming out of the closet as gay and they are told "don't worry it's just a phase" or "you just haven't met the man/woman (of opposite gender)". You may of course just have meant that there is no need for the distinction, but many people find it helpful because a large group of people are very hard to understand without a little guidance. Furthermore people need different advice depending on their personality. How do you socialize, how do you lead, how do you make friends? The answers may depend on how you are most comfortable engaging other people. EDIT: Obviously no one is suggesting this is a completely binary relationship. You are of course some mixture of both introverted and extroverted. It is also clear that different situations call for different skills so you need to act introverted or extroverted on occassion to be succssfull. You shouldn't treat this as a terminal diagnosis or anything like that, just as a way to further understand yourself and other people. This includes understanding how others are successfull at some things you consider almost impossible and where you can push your boundaries. | ||
Glenn313
United States475 Posts
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Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Mstring
Australia510 Posts
On December 21 2012 10:11 Barrin wrote: "If you think "I'm an introvert", so you will remain." This right here is implying that being an introvert is undesirable. The only reason to say something like this is like a warning. To a reasonable person it's hard to see this line any other way. I think that a reasonable person seeks clarification before jumping down someone's throat with a "fuck you". If you assume the worst all the time, you'll always get the worst. You're right, it was a warning... against identifying with labels, not against being "introverted", which you cannot "be", only be labelled as such. "Drop the labels and you're free." This does a better job of conveying what you actually mean, but even still it almost seems to imply that being an introvert takes away your freedom (you really mean just believing it does). I am saying that identifying with such labels will lead to less freedom. I have no judgements to share on anyone's personality or "type". If you want evidence for my claim, start testing it in your life today. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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tshi
United States2495 Posts
I've taken the myers-briggs test a while ago and I remember getting an INTJ as the result. My professor told me to then research/look at this book because it provides career options for the various types of personalities possible: http://www.amazon.com/Do-What-You-Are-Personality/dp/0316167266 It's a really good book and provides some psychological explanation for how people with different personalities react and whatnot, i look at it every now and then. I currently have it under my TeamLiquid Mousepad for arm support, lol. | ||
Mstring
Australia510 Posts
On December 21 2012 10:17 rasnj wrote: Why would we want to be free of the labels? The whole introvert vs extrovert dichotomy is just a recognition that most people fairly neatly divides into one class or the other, and further it is the idea that perhaps the groups need to be taught about each other and how to interact because there is a lack of understanding between the groups. You can compare it to the realization that there are boys and girls (or straight and gay people if you want something less physical), and it helps children to get some idea how to interact with the other group. As the OP explains many people have experienced that introvert tendencies as you grow up are treated with an attempt to "cure" them and make you more extrovert. Your post makes it sound like you have the same approach. It is similar to someone coming out of the closet as gay and they are told "don't worry it's just a phase" or "you just haven't met the man/woman (of opposite gender)". You may of course just have meant that there is no need for the distinction, but many people find it helpful because a large group of people are very hard to understand without a little guidance. Furthermore people need different advice depending on their personality. How do you socialize, how do you lead, how do you make friends? The answers may depend on how you are most comfortable engaging other people. EDIT: Obviously no one is suggesting this is a completely binary relationship. You are of course some mixture of both introverted and extroverted. It is also clear that different situations call for different skills so you need to act introverted or extroverted on occassion to be succssfull. You shouldn't treat this as a terminal diagnosis or anything like that, just as a way to further understand yourself and other people. This includes understanding how others are successfull at some things you consider almost impossible and where you can push your boundaries. I'm not trying to cure anyone from anything except using labels which can only serve to divide. What you "are" is subject to change at any second. Why would I want to limit my growth of self by attaching all these rigid identities to "I"? How you lead, socialise and make friends is all personal preference in the end. What value does these two identities have in this regard? | ||
ailouros
United States193 Posts
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Mstring
Australia510 Posts
On December 21 2012 10:26 Barrin wrote: I wasn't trying to be subtle, I'm trying to free myself from that constraint of my introversion (made possibly by my understanding and accepting of it). I said it because my strong intuition tells me I should believe it, though I don't really have any evidence to back it up. Would you like to prove me wrong? How much do you know about yourself, lets hear? You're not uncomfortable with your introversion (if you are), after all, right? What I meant was, how can you justify trying to make me feel bad? Where is the value in such a statement? I have no interest in proving anyone right or wrong. I don't identify as an introvert or an extrovert. What about me would you like to know? | ||
Mortal
2943 Posts
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Maxd11
United States680 Posts
On December 21 2012 10:02 RoieTRS wrote: The myths in the OP apply to 100% of people at varying levels and everyone will identify whether they are introverted or not. The OP paints a picture like introversion is a secret club. If this keeps up, in 5 years you'll be seeing people say "lol im so introverted" on a whim like they treat nerddom now. I've been called shy or whatever bogus all my life and it has nothing to do with introversion vs extroversion. It is simply people give you shit about anything unless you tell them to back off. This is a scam I wouldn't be surprised if people started writing books on this soon or whatever else they do to get money I totally agree. And they already are making books about it. Many kid's books have the main hero character as a loner who feels out of place. | ||
puppykiller
United States3126 Posts
On December 21 2012 10:16 Thereisnosaurus wrote: as a kind of alpha introvert (best expressed by the line 'yes I am quiet, what are you going to do about it punk?'), I think there's a sort of misconception in the OP that introversion is not aligned with boldness, confidence and charisma. I find I am at my most capable around other people when I let my quieter tendencies lead. I am extremely self confident, self critical (in a positive way) and self aware, so I am capable of making myself into an example of positive humanity. I serve, I prepare, I assist and I encourage, simply by going about my daily life. I would say that the introvert's answer to extroverted charisma and social skill is what might be called 'force of will', the sort of thing you see in someone that tells you this person is both a) not to be fucked with and b) is worth not fucking with because they have their head screwed on straight. Introverts who aren't ashamed of what they feel and represent have incredible raw charisma in their sheer self confidence. I've always seen these people as role models and they've helped me shape myself into my current psychological state. You can be an introvert and still a leader. You simply lead by example, not rhetoric. Basically this. Too many symptoms of shyness and social weakness get associated with introversion. You can be a person who feels totally comfortable around people anywhere, be well received, and still be an introvert. | ||
LainRivers
United States36 Posts
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FuzzyJAM
Scotland9300 Posts
Shyness and introversion are different things. Introversion is not something that will negatively affect you the least, shyness is. This "introversion power!!" nonsense, however, is no better than the idea that introverts are failures with no social skills. | ||
forgottendreams
United States1771 Posts
![]() P.S. Thanks for that post Barrin, I thought it gives us introverts some needed self confidence to be ok with being introverted. | ||
Flip9
Germany151 Posts
On December 21 2012 10:11 Barrin wrote: That has more to do with Judging vs. Perceiving. It's the J's that are susceptible to this... not I's. "If you think "I'm an introvert", so you will remain." This right here is implying that being an introvert is undesirable. The only reason to say something like this is like a warning. To a reasonable person it's hard to see this line any other way. "Drop the labels and you're free." This does a better job of conveying what you actually mean, but even still it almost seems to imply that being an introvert takes away your freedom (you really mean just believing it does). I would really like to see some more evidence for your claims. So you know the people who invented the personality types testified over and over that their patients were feeling better about themselves and that sorta thing (and there are many many first hand accounts... including my own...). WTB [your examples]. Your OP has a lot of information and I'm sure it will help some people get a better understanding, so good job on that. However you arguing takes away a lot of your credibility. Where is the silence that you preach? Actually I found what Mstring wrote a good addition to the other posts and not offensive at all (and I'm what you would call introvertive). | ||
rasnj
United States1959 Posts
On December 21 2012 10:31 Mstring wrote: I'm not trying to cure anyone from anything except using labels which can only serve to divide. What you "are" is subject to change at any second. Why would I want to limit my growth of self by attaching all these rigid identities to "I"? How you lead, socialise and make friends is all personal preference in the end. What value does these two identities have in this regard? But they don't just serve to divide. It makes it possible to have a discussion about introversion vs extroversion, and in particular a defense of several traits of introverted people which have generally been seen as negative by many people. It also makes it possible to recognize and learn something about yourself. It is clear to many people that they are introverted or extroverted before being introduced to the idea in a way like this thread does. If you suppress the debate you get people (especially children) questioning themselves and asking "Is something wrong with me for not wanting to socialize? Will I ever be successful? Does anyone else feel like I do? Is there a way to deal with it?" The recognition of the idea of introversion helps people deal with this kind of stuff. It is all a matter of trying to understand yourself and understand others. You can then accept yourself as you are and recognize where your boundaries are. If you recognize that you are an introvert and have trouble socializing at parties then you can look up some of the litterature like the ones given in the OP which may very well help you. If you didn't know about introversion or didn't bother to label it, then it would much harder to understand how others in a similar situation successfully dealt with the problem you are having. I think maybe I got a little too defensive in responding to you and am sorry for that, but I still feel the dichotomy is a useful one for many people. EDIT: Also you may not find it useful, but I can personally attest to the fact that I found the distinction and some writings about it useful in understanding myself and trying to develop my personality. | ||
Birdie
New Zealand4438 Posts
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Cutlery
Norway565 Posts
It's not something I have learned to "maintain". I shut it on and off, because it's not too natural to turn it "on" when I'm alone. Or when I'm tired. Or when I'm under stress/pressure. But I must admit, I like myself much better after I learned to talk nonsense and laugh it up even in a group of people. It doesn't have to mean anything. And oftentimes even (seemingly) extroverts will surprise you and share parts of their world. To some it comes natural, but I had to learn it, and just like I've been introverted for so long, I love to shut off my brain and simply feel, perceive and perhaps even judge to save myself a lot of "trouble" having to analyze and think. For why consider someone elses feelings if you can't shout out about your own? My nature+upbringing made me extremely introverted. But I don't/didn't like it. There must be balance. Intuition means NOTHING if you can't begin to sense your surroundings, perceiving matters little if you cannot make judgements, thinking matters little if you do not feel emotions in "this very instant" (meaning that I would often/always be "numb" around people, and repeat the experiences/emotions when I was "home and safe", instead of paying attention to them and acting upon them when I should. For I have found it's much better to show it and act it like you're actually There and Important, rather than bring shit home and work them out in solitude, cause the possible motives of others are endless, and you won't get to learn neither anyone else nor yourself this way), and being introverted is awful if you can't also exert yourself. The "inside" world needs to be balanced by the "outside" world. Not saying it should be 50/50, but since I'm introverted, I have worked a lot on my emotions to finally acknowledge that I too enjoy interacting in the "outside" world, showing everyone my warts and all. And I like myself much better because of it. EDIT: Guess I'm INTP. Thinking, intuitive, and introverted; I never judge and am highly perceptive. Although all these apply to the way I was, or mostly am, they do not necessarily always describe me equally well today. There has to be some sort of "bar" or "slides", balance, which can even change as you "grow". | ||
dreamsmasher
816 Posts
ENTP Extravert(22%) iNtuitive(75%) iNtuitive Thinking(75%) Perceiving(11)% You have slight preference of Extraversion over Introversion (22%) You have distinctive preference of Intuition over Sensing (75%) You have distinctive preference of Thinking over Feeling (75%) You have slight preference of Perceiving over Judging (11%) i would say this is pretty accurate, especially the descriptions of what this 'type' likes. I'm in a pretty 'nerdy' major if you will: economics/statistics, but I have a lot of friends that don't share any of my similar intellectual pursuits, who like to party, hit clubs/do risky random things, and I can chat up anyone and make small talk easily. i also have my share of friends who practically never go out, really enjoy intellectual things, are generally 'quiet' or whatever society calls that -- i generally don't have trouble making friends from either end of the spectrum, you can be smart and be either an extrovert or introvert after all. | ||
forgottendreams
United States1771 Posts
On December 21 2012 10:44 dreamsmasher wrote: hmm i got ENTP Extravert(22%) iNtuitive(75%) iNtuitive Thinking(75%) Perceiving(11)% You have slight preference of Extraversion over Introversion (22%) You have distinctive preference of Intuition over Sensing (75%) You have distinctive preference of Thinking over Feeling (75%) You have slight preference of Perceiving over Judging (11%) i would say this is pretty accurate, especially the descriptions of what this 'type' likes. I'm in a pretty 'nerdy' major if you will: economics/statistics, but I have a lot of friends that don't share any of my similar intellectual pursuits, who like to party, hit clubs/do risky random things, and I can chat up anyone and make small talk easily. i also have my share of friends who practically never go out, really enjoy intellectual things, are generally 'quiet' or whatever society calls that -- i generally don't have trouble making friends from either end of the spectrum, you can be smart and be either an extrovert or introvert after all. Extroverted nerds are in vogue right now bro, and for the foreseeable future. If you are one be proud! | ||
MountainDewJunkie
United States10340 Posts
self-help/self-analysis books arbitrary cultural labels vagueness pretty people on camera Massive stroke-fest ambiguous quotes Some of the worst aspects of our culture and exploitative marketing are all crammed into this OP. | ||
LainRivers
United States36 Posts
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Grumbels
Netherlands7028 Posts
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TricksAre4Figs
United States125 Posts
OP can you elaborate on the definition of "American society" and "success" as it pertains to this statement? Otherwise this statement has hardly any meaning. | ||
CajunMan
United States823 Posts
Took this one says I am 78% introvert I've taken them before and it has been a mostly like that. I am one of those people that are pretty introvert for the most part but once I get used to people or warmed up at a social event I like explode to a different person sometime haha. I can be very outgoing but when it is done for me it is fucking done and I need a nap and people to leave me the hell alone haha. On December 21 2012 10:50 TricksAre4Figs wrote: "American society tends to emphasize that success comes through being highly social and outgoing (in short, extroverted) which negatively pressures introverted people (1/4 to 1/2 of the population) into being uncomfortable with themselves or their environments, which in turn stifles creativity and progress." OP can you elaborate on the definition of "American society" and "success" as it pertains to this statement? Well if you look at any work manual or what to do in an interview or what people look for it is all about being "extroverted". Being very out there kinda loud and exciting always especially in retail even if your job requires little socialization like working the stock rooms as I have before they always look for that. On December 21 2012 10:50 LainRivers wrote: I don't think some people realize you can change your personality, it's just really fucking hard to do it 'because you want to'. You would literally be going against what your body feels is 'right' due to genetics or your environment growing up. It definitely happens over your lifetime, and in some cases even radically changes in a very short amount of time. You are not some static thing that can never change or adapt. Also, one introvert can be completely different from the next aside from the fundamental similarities basically every introvert shares. Which is why there is even a word to separate introversion and extroversion. Ya when you do it its like breaking for most of us at least 18+ years of habits haha. But it isn't impossible I defiantly had to change in High School I forced it and it becomes part of you. | ||
Mstring
Australia510 Posts
On December 21 2012 10:42 rasnj wrote: It also makes it possible to recognize and learn something about yourself. It is clear to many people that they are introverted or extroverted before being introduced to the idea in a way like this thread does. If you suppress the debate you get people (especially children) questioning themselves and asking "Is something wrong with me for not wanting to socialize? Will I ever be successful? Does anyone else feel like I do? Is there a way to deal with it?" The recognition of the idea of introversion helps people deal with this kind of stuff. What advantage does saying to a child "It's OK because you're introverted" have over simply "It's OK!"? It is all a matter of trying to understand yourself and understand others. You can then accept yourself as you are and recognize where your boundaries are. Boundaries are self-created. How does limiting yourself to boundaries of accepted identities help you? If you recognize that you are an introvert and have trouble socializing at parties then you can look up some of the litterature like the ones given in the OP which may very well help you. If you didn't know about introversion or didn't bother to label it, then it would much harder to understand how others in a similar situation successfully dealt with the problem you are having. You're absolutely right, it can be useful the way things are. I just think things could be better XD I think maybe I got a little too defensive in responding to you and am sorry for that, but I still feel the dichotomy is a useful one for many people. You're probably right. Thanks for the dialog. ![]() | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Chronos.
United States805 Posts
So I'm definitely an introvert, but I definitely already knew that as well. And although I generally don't talk unless there's a specific reason, when I get to know people really well that can change. | ||
Picklebread
808 Posts
Introvert(33%) Sensing(25%) Feeling(38%) Perceiving(44)% You have moderate preference of Introversion over Extraversion (33%) You have moderate preference of Sensing over Intuition (25%) You have moderate preference of Feeling over Thinking (38%) You have moderate preference of Perceiving over Judging (44%) Op can you translate this for me? Does this mean im ambivert or does it mean im mostly an introvert ? What if im an Introvert that wants to be a Extrovert? Or maybe im very much an Extrovert sometimes and sometimes im an introvert? does that mean i just cant control both worlds? Thanks for posting this is enlightening post. Appreciate the effort :D! | ||
Cheerio
Ukraine3178 Posts
It;'s been shown on PET scans that Is use different neural pathways to Es when engaged in almost any type of activity (including relaxation). During one study a group of identified Es and Is were asked to lie down and relax, and a PET scan was used to measure blood flow to the brain and the pathways it followed. The Is had *more* bloodflow to the brain during relaxation than Es, indicating more internal stimulation. Also, the Is and Es' blood travelled along different pathways - the I pathway was found to be more complex, and flowed to areas of the brain associated with remembering, problem solving and planning. The Es blood flowed on a more direct route to areas of the brain where sensory processing occurs. This confirmed the researchers' suspicion that the Es in the study were focused on what was happening around them in the lab, and were engaged in sensory processing. The pathway used by Extraverts is activated by the chemical Dopamine. Dopamine is a powerful neurotransmitter, most closely associated with movement, attention, alert states, and learning. Too much dopamine in the brain causes hallucinations and paranoia, and too little causes depression, lethargy and misery. Having the right amount of Dopamine is critical to everyone. It has been found that Extraverts have a low sensitivity to Dopamine (require more to get the desired effect). They require Adrenaline, which is released from the sympathetic nervous system, and makes more Dopamine in the brain. This explains why Es need more stimulation/thrill/activity, to feel good, and why they seek variety. Introverts are highly sensitive to Dopamine - too much of it and they can feel overstimulated. Is rely on a different neurotransmitter, acetylcholine, on their dominant neural pathway. Acetylcholine affects attention and learning, influences the ability to sustain a calm, alert feeling and to utilise long term memory stores, and stimulates a good feeling when thinking or feeling emotion. Introverts require a lower level of Dopamine, and a good level of acetylcholine, to leave them calm and free of depression or anxiety. Too much activity/stimulation can leave Is in Dopamine "overload", and give them a feeling of exhaustion. SHORTER EXTRAVERT NEURAL PATHWAY Stimulation ascends the spinal cord and enter reticular activating system in brain stem - data enters the Hypothalamus (thirst/temperature/appetite) - this switches on the "Full Throttle" system in Extraverts - Stimulii are sent to POSTERIOR THALAMUS (a relay station which amplifies the stimuli and sends them to amygdala) - Amygdala is the emotional centre (associated with the actions in the motor area, in extraverts) - Stimuli transferred to Temporal and moror area (movement connects to short term memory access, and to the center for learning and processing sensory and emotional stimuli). LONGER INTROVERT NEURAL PATHWAY Stimuli enter Reticular activating system above brain stem - this system is less active in Introverts - transferred to Hypothalmus where the data is interpreted and the brain placed on "Throttle down" in Introverts - Data sent to ANTERIOR THALAMUS (relay station which turns sensory signals down in Introverts) - Data sent to Broca's Area (speech area where internal monologue is activated) - Data sent to Frontal lobe (thinking, planning, learning) - Data sent to Hippocampus (relayed to long term memory including environmental awareness) - Data sent to Amygdala (emotional centre where feelings are attached to thoughts, in Introverts). Another interesting point to ponder is that Extraverts can apparently access short-term memory areas of the brain more readily than Introverts, because of their faster and less complicated pathway. This could explain why an Introvert will often "grope" for a word in conversation or in a group discussion, or may have to think on an issue for longer before responding in appropriate language. http://forums.intpcentral.com/showthread.php?10517-Neurochemistry-of-Introversion&s=7c01d853bee95addad3897cf9b2eb5a0 | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Cheerio
Ukraine3178 Posts
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Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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RavenLoud
Canada1100 Posts
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Mstring
Australia510 Posts
I didn't take anything personally my friend. You do you, I'll worry about me. I was just trying to make it obvious how pervasive this stigma of introverts is which involved jumping on the first person to perpetuate it. I have been explicit with this point: I have no opinion on any personality, only the use and value of these labels. I think you are seeing things in my post that are not there. You're right, you cannot "be" introverted. You cannot "be" extroverted. Someone who is 100% of either would be in a mental hospital, according to the person who coined the terms. Instead it is a spectrum. <- Introverted ---------- Ambivert ---------- Extrovert -> What you can do with this is see where you stand in relation to other people. Like hot and cold... nobody is 0C or 100C but somewhere in between. 35C is an actual temperature, just like a proportional level of introversion is an actual relative temperament. You cannot "be" half and half either. You can only be labelled as such. Burden of proof on me? I have no obligation to you. I've already told you I have no interest in proving anything to anyone. HOW do they lead to less freedom? Evidence? By accepting external notions regarding your self. ""Ah that's why I do what I do"" -- is self deception; an easy-way-out of really figuring out why you don't like to socialise etc... I've already tested the theory of learning and accepting and it has already worked for me. Many many other people have tested it before I've tested it - it worked for them. I don't understand why you think I'm just going to believe you? I already have 'freedom'... I don't understand why you think I am concerned about whether you believe me or not. above So you just come where with a completely unsubstantiated claim with no intention of proving it right Sure. but you still want people to believe it You're doing me again. Leave me to me. Where did you get the idea that I want people to believe what I say? Like I said, I have no interest in being proven right. Hobson's choice. and are offended when someone calls you out on the stupidity? C'mon man. And again, you're doing me. I wasn't offended in the slightest. I was pointing out the foolishness of put-downs. I think I've made my point now. I think we've all gotten your point by now ![]() | ||
Kroml
Turkey308 Posts
On December 21 2012 10:48 MountainDewJunkie wrote: Personality tests self-help/self-analysis books arbitrary cultural labels vagueness pretty people on camera Massive stroke-fest ambiguous quotes Some of the worst aspects of our culture and exploitative marketing are all crammed into this OP. I love you | ||
Picklebread
808 Posts
On December 21 2012 11:12 Barrin wrote: This is literally the most extroverted of the 8 introverted personality type I think. Sensing basically means you're in tune with reality. Feeling means you're in tune with other people. Perceiving over judging means you're more open and less overbearing. Wow that sounds exactly like me. Thanks for the clarification op! | ||
Antisocialmunky
United States5912 Posts
Interesting none the less and a good change from the status quo, Barrin. | ||
Shival
Netherlands643 Posts
On December 21 2012 11:13 RavenLoud wrote: I don't really disagree with the OP, but I think introversion-extroversion is more like a spectrum and most people are in the middle rather than having 2 distinct groups. People can also change along that spectrum over the course of their lives, it's not as deterministic as it seems. There's tons of people that use to be shy in high school becoming very socially active in college then at work. Introvert =/= shy. That's a very common mistake people make, but introverts are not by definition shy, they can be just as bold and certain of themselves as extroverts can be. They may not show it as often as extroverts do, but that has no bearing on whether they are shy. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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rasnj
United States1959 Posts
On December 21 2012 10:54 Mstring wrote: What advantage does saying to a child "It's OK because you're introverted" have over simply "It's OK!"? Probably very little to none. However it helps when you need to make parents aware that their child may not have the same need for social interaction as others. Similarily when you need to make teachers aware why some people do not like their group projects with new partners, or field trip group activities, and why the teachers maybe need to rethink how they are doing. Also if a child get's little support from their parents and they try to find answers elsewhere (say the Internet), then it helps to have the label. Boundaries are self-created. How does limiting yourself to boundaries of accepted identities help you? I guess boundaries is the wrong word here and I concede that the acceptance of being introverted may be a type of self-fullfilling prophecy. What I meant however is just that you understand what you have problems with and then either accept it, learn to deal with it or overcome them somehow. I do not bother to identify myself as an introvert to anyone or think of myself as an introvert, but if I have a problem I recognize as an "introvert problem" it may be helpful to ask what has other introverts done about this? | ||
TricksAre4Figs
United States125 Posts
On December 21 2012 11:08 Barrin wrote: Introversion is not better than extraversion... but I don't think there's a question as to which side actually needed the pumping-up that's in the OP. The point of this thread is to educate extroverts and make introverts comfortable with themselves. Words mean what a reasonable person think they mean at the time they are said. Don't get too definist on me plz, I wasn't trying to be vague. Do you really not know? I think your post would be a lot more valuable to you and others if you defined these two terms, that's all. Otherwise we're all just assuming that we share concepts and definitions when that may not be the case. I do not know what success means to you, nor do I pretend to. The same goes for American society. | ||
WolfintheSheep
Canada14127 Posts
On December 21 2012 11:14 Mstring wrote: I think we've all gotten your point by now ![]() I'm really not sure what your point in all of this really is, though. As far as I can tell, it's essentially some hippie-esque stance of "Down with labels". If your contribution to this thread is really just some aversion to giving things names, I'd suggest making your own thread to discuss it. | ||
FallDownMarigold
United States3710 Posts
"Quit pretending you're an extrovert -- you aren't." I'm in full agreement that our culture sort of leans toward extroversion as being more desirable and ideal. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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ticklishmusic
United States15977 Posts
It explains a lot, like why I'm such a great wet blanket. Yay, go us! We might not get the spotlight, but we're the ones who point it. | ||
greenelve
Germany1392 Posts
INTJ Introvert(100%) iNtuitive(12%) iNtuitive Thinking(1%) Judging(22%) You have strong preference of Introversion over Extraversion (100%) You have slight preference of Intuition over Sensing (12%) You have marginal or no preference of Thinking over Feeling (1%) You have slight preference of Judging over Perceiving (22%) im not really sure what that means, well full introversion is easy to pick :p , but i feel it could also have gone another result as im not 100% sure about some questions, neither i understand or answered them right... But wow, really long long long post and explanation. really enjoyed the part with the myths about introversion. | ||
Evangelist
1246 Posts
Personally I think your designation shifts with maturity. It's taken me nearly three decades to finally get comfortable with social situations. If you can drink happily with mates at 18, have a girlfriend and are socially adept then you aren't as introverted as you think are you. | ||
Ben...
Canada3485 Posts
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RavenLoud
Canada1100 Posts
On December 21 2012 11:20 Shival wrote: Introvert =/= shy. That's a very common mistake people make, but introverts are not by definition shy, they can be just as bold and certain of themselves as extroverts can be. They may not show it as often as extroverts do, but that has no bearing on whether they are shy. Err... So introverts are less likely to show themselves, but they are not shy by definition? I thought the definition of being shy is to be less inclined to show yourself? | ||
HellRoxYa
Sweden1614 Posts
On December 21 2012 11:37 RavenLoud wrote: Err... So introverts are less likely to show themselves, but they are not shy by definition? I thought the definition of being shy is to be less inclined to show yourself? Being shy is being unable. Introverts aren't unable, they just choose their moments and do so well. A shy introvert, though, that's someone who you never really see or hear. On December 21 2012 11:36 Evangelist wrote: There are a lot of people who treat their Meyer code as a thing to be proud of. I think I've been tested externally on 2-3 different occasions and as with most people on the low end of the autistic spectrum I come out as INTJ. However while it does influence my pattern of thinking, it is something I find myself actively trying to overcome. Medication helps a lot - shuts down a lot of the internal doubts and nonsense. Personally I think your designation shifts with maturity. It's taken me nearly three decades to finally get comfortable with social situations. If you can drink happily with mates at 18, have a girlfriend and are socially adept then you aren't as introverted as you think are you. I don't think you understand. None of these things contradict being an introvert and if you think so you should go back to reading the OP. You don't have to be socially retarded to be introvert or vice versa. | ||
Sprungjeezy
United States1313 Posts
On December 21 2012 11:37 RavenLoud wrote: Err... So introverts are less likely to show themselves, but they are not shy by definition? I thought the definition of being shy is to be less inclined to show yourself? There's a big difference between wanting to be noticed, not giving a fuck either way, and wanting to stay hidden. | ||
Luepert
United States1933 Posts
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r.Evo
Germany14079 Posts
The following statements generally apply to me: I am seen as “outgoing” or as a “people person.” I feel comfortable in groups and like working in them. I have a wide range of friends and know lots of people. I sometimes jump too quickly into an activity and don’t allow enough time to think it over. Before I start a project, I sometimes forget to stop and get clear on what I want to do and why. The following statements generally apply to me: I am seen as “reflective” or “reserved.” I feel comfortable being alone and like things I can do on my own. I prefer to know just a few people well. I sometimes spend too much time reflecting and don’t move into action quickly enough. I sometimes forget to check with the outside world to see if my ideas really fit the experience. For example, all of the above are pretty obvious examples of cold reading. Most people know lots of people and most people prefer to know just a few people well. Being reflective/reserved vs outgoing/a people person aren't opposites. Being comfortable in groups and being comfortable alone isn't mutually exclusive. I mean, sure it can be a great help if you try to find something that you can identify yourself with but you're basically not talking about more or less than someone who says "I'm homosexual and I'm living the homosexual lifestyle now!" or "I am a woman and I fight for women rights!" - This doesn't help anyone involved, it just makes it so that people try to behave like the niche they believe that they are most comfortable in. Making people believe that it's "normal" to never step out of their comfort zone is equivalent to preventing them from personal growth. Stepping up and saying "I am a proud introvert" so to speak puts you further in a category that, most likely, no single person on this planet dead or alive fits into. People are people, not quotes and not introverts or extroverts per definition for all of their lifes. If you look at some of the "personality test" pages you provide as sources (e.g. http://www.personalitypage.com/html/portraits.html) you can click on ANY of the personality types, read it to ANY person and they will most likely tell you that about 70-75% is something they'll agree on. Then you mention "Introvert-Friendly Jobs & Career Fields" and start one list with "Minimal People Interaction". The ability to interact with people is a skill like any other. It improves with practice, it can be taught and it can be learned. There is nothing "magic" about "not being good with people". There is no divine intervention that made it so person xyz is bad at interacting with people and there should be no drawer you can put people in to give them a justification for lacking in a certain area. You're not raising awareness, you're hyping to kingdom come. It's equivalent to meaning "I'm depressed" and saying "I have a depression". There is no higher power that can tell you how to behave. By giving your higher power a name ("introversion") and certain attributes that everyone who adheres to it shares you are glorifying it, you remove the personal responsibility for the individuals actions and therefor, once again, prevent personal growth. | ||
Mstring
Australia510 Posts
On December 21 2012 11:32 Barrin wrote: That's really what it comes down to. What he doesn't realize is that it's him putting a 'label' on labels. I've been there. Again, you're doing me. "He doesn't realize X", "You're too Y", "You are Z". These are all assumptions that you can foolishly choose to accept as truth, or leave them as an unknown and seek further if you are curious to the possibilities. Denying possibilities diminishes freedom. This is exactly analogous to my gripes with the introversion/extroversion concept. Good luck brother. | ||
Evangelist
1246 Posts
You'll be having plenty of brainstorming, plenty of meetings and all that kind of stuff. My advice is to get over your self definition, stop pretending introversions is an advantage, change your thinking style to suit and get used to socializing because you're going to need to do it. | ||
ticklishmusic
United States15977 Posts
On December 21 2012 11:44 Evangelist wrote: Oh and by the by. If you think you can escape "extroversion" by joining academia, think again. You'll spend about half your life at conferences and the other half with colleagues working on group projects and grants. You will be forced, frequently, to give presentations in front of 100+ people, all of which are dying to ensure you fall flat on your arse. You'll be having plenty of brainstorming, plenty of meetings and all that kind of stuff. My advice is to get over your self definition, stop pretending introversions is an advantage, change your thinking style to suit and get used to socializing because you're going to need to do it. But at least you'll be talking about things you actually care about, which is kind of the point. I'm also in the business school at my university (though I'm aiming for med school). I sometimes go to networking events with friends so I can canoodle with representatives from like JP Morgan, PWC, Goldman Sachs and other business-y places. I go to them because the hors d'ouevres are usually pretty good, but I think a lot of it is pretty stupid (I could care less about your cousin's wedding and the weather in Vermont). Still, that's apparently what business is about-- rubbing shoulders and getting phone numbers and such. I'm also damn good at it, which makes me feel like a manipulative bastard muahahahahaha. | ||
Ben...
Canada3485 Posts
On December 21 2012 11:37 RavenLoud wrote: We aren't shy, we just don't put ourselves out there unless there is a need for it. There is no fear involved in social interaction (a hallmark of shyness is being scared or self-conscious about socializing with others), just we need more of a motivation for it. It is just like how introverts hate small talk, we need a purpose to our conversations other than to fill noise.Err... So introverts are less likely to show themselves, but they are not shy by definition? I thought the definition of being shy is to be less inclined to show yourself? As an example, I don't talk to people unless that conversation has a purpose (except in the case of friends. But most of my friends know I am a rather laconic person). I don't start conversations but if someone wants to talk to me I am perfectly fine with that. Introverts don't mind social interaction, we just don't have a need for it like extroverts do. | ||
HellRoxYa
Sweden1614 Posts
Fact is people need different levels of interhuman interaction. It's not about a "comfort zone", it's about what makes you feel good and what makes you feel not so good and tired. | ||
RavenLoud
Canada1100 Posts
On December 21 2012 11:41 Sprungjeezy wrote: There's a big difference between wanting to be noticed, not giving a fuck either way, and wanting to stay hidden. Ah I see, maybe I just had a broader understanding of the word "shy" than I should. Anyway, I tested INTP and it seems to fit fairly well. I'm absolutely in the "not giving a fuck either way" camp. | ||
Caihead
Canada8550 Posts
On December 21 2012 11:41 Sprungjeezy wrote: There's a big difference between wanting to be noticed, not giving a fuck either way, and wanting to stay hidden. Being shy isn't derogatory, don't take offense, it's a perfectly normal observation. Shy is a perfectly good word to describe SHYING AWAY from social interaction, that's the bloody term. You can be a extrovert or an introvert and be suspicious of others, bashful, timid, and all of the other characterizations of being shy, it doesn't matter. The term only gains a derogatory context if you forcibly interject the fact that if you aren't engaging in social interaction you are a social failure. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Ben...
Canada3485 Posts
On December 21 2012 11:48 RavenLoud wrote: Ah, now you are getting it. We just don't have the need for social interaction and are perfectly fine lone-wolfing it.Ah I see, maybe I just had a broader understanding of the word "shy" than I should. Anyway, I tested INTP and it seems to fit fairly well. I'm absolutely in the "not giving a fuck either way" camp. Edit: Thinking about this topic, it is pretty funny. The OP talks about introverts forcing themselves to be extroverts or having their parents try to do that when they were children. My parents were never like that. The only person who made fun of me for being fine with staying home and doing my own thing was my brother, who himself was an introvert who forced himself to be an extrovert. Before he forced himself to fit in during the latter part of high school he stayed home just as much as I do now. My parents have always accepted how I am. Rather than pressuring me to hang out with people, they used to just ask what I was doing and I would talk to them about it and that was that. | ||
Evangelist
1246 Posts
On December 21 2012 11:40 HellRoxYa wrote: Being shy is being unable. Introverts aren't unable, they just choose their moments and do so well. A shy introvert, though, that's someone who you never really see or hear. I don't think you understand. None of these things contradict being an introvert and if you think so you should go back to reading the OP. You don't have to be socially retarded to be introvert or vice versa. Seriously introverted people are almost always socially retarded. More often than not, they tend to be autistic too. You cannot walk into a room full of people and be comfortable with it and still be completely introverted. It just is not possible because an introvert has virtually no understanding of how other people think or behave - constantly judging and guesstimating their behaviour based on what other people do. If you are capable of passably socializing with a large group of people, you are not completely introverted. Trust me on this. I used to be a teacher. I work in academia. Introversion may be a way of thinking/responding to stimuli but severe introversion has a crippling effect on the ability to socialise with other people. It is not a secret club. It is definitely not a big, amazing label to have - some secret power of thinking or understanding. It is, in fact, often crippling to the way in which academics collaborate to the point where courses are given to academics solely to overcome this problem!! So no. If you have developed more or less normally and you prefer your own company but are able to function fine in human society, you are at best mildly introverted. You are not severely introverted. | ||
SweeTLemonS[TPR]
11739 Posts
On December 21 2012 09:43 Brosy wrote: I am an INTJ and its something that I've constantly have to try and hide or pretend I am not. It is unfortunate that many companies have a biased against personality types. I made it to the final round of an interview with a fortune 500 firm and, while not told explicitly introverts were unwanted, they made it clear in the interviews and networking event that "outgoing" people make better employees. I think this is something that people make a big mistake in. By outgoing they just want someone who is willing to take a risk, and doesn't need 100% of all possible scenarios tested before doing something: i.e. they don't want overly analytic people who never make a decision (analysis paralysis). Of course, some degree of analysis is necessary, as one would want to make an informed decision, but at some point the conclusion must be reached that enough data is present, and X looks more likely to succeed, so X will be done. Now, X may end up being wrong; it's very possible that Y was a better solution, but without taking the risk on X (risky because of an incomplete set of data), it would never have been discovered that Y was the better option. In many cases, choosing X and being wrong leads to a less disastrous situation than never having done anything at all. If nothing else, the business has learned what not to do, and that is often as important as knowing what to do. So employers then confuse the idea of being "outgoing" with someone who will make good decisions. The problem is that they don't actually understand what they're seeking. That's how I feel about things, anyway. As for personality, it depends on which questions I'm answering. Both list me as INTP, but the first lists me as only slightly favoring P over J, and a distinct preference to N over S, while the second lists me as slightly favoring N over S and moderately favoring P over J. The situation I'm in also changes my answers to some degree. From the third link, J vs P: + Show Spoiler + J: Plan many of the details in advance before moving into action. P: Comfortable moving into action without a plan; plan on-the-go. Both of those are true depending on the circumstance. If I have something that needs to be done, then absolutely the details are planned in advance. In business scenarios, I prefer some sort of planning beforehand. In a social situation, most of the time I'm fine without a plan, often because I don't want to do any of the options, so no plan = not having to go places. I think I'm really closer to being what Ms Cain called an Ambivert than either an Introvert or Extrovert. I enjoy aspects of both personality types. There are days where I can't sit inside for a moment longer, and there are days where seeing another person makes me cringe (especially if I think that person is going to talk to me). That I can't stop talking once I start (typing here) is a good clue that I lean toward I over E, based on what Cain said. The amount of times I enter a thread, start a response, then hit back because what I'm about to type isn't adding to the discussion can't be counted. + Show Spoiler + Link 1 Introvert(56%) iNtuitive(62%) iNtuitive Thinking(75%) Perceiving(11)% You have moderate preference of Introversion over Extraversion (56%) You have distinctive preference of Intuition over Sensing (62%) You have distinctive preference of Thinking over Feeling (75%) You have slight preference of Perceiving over Judging (11%) Link 2 Introverted (I) 66.67% Extroverted (E) 33.33% Intuitive (N) 55.56% Sensing (S) 44.44% Thinking (T) 64.1% Feeling (F) 35.9% Perceiving (P) 62.16% Judging (J) 37.84% | ||
RavenLoud
Canada1100 Posts
On December 21 2012 11:47 Ben... wrote: We aren't shy, we just don't put ourselves out there unless there is a need for it. There is no fear involved in social interaction (a hallmark of shyness is being scared or self-conscious about socializing with others), just we need more of a motivation for it. It is just like how introverts hate small talk, we need a purpose to our conversations other than to fill noise. As an example, I don't talk to people unless that conversation has a purpose (except in the case of friends. But most of my friends know I am a rather laconic person). I don't start conversations but if someone wants to talk to me I am perfectly fine with that. Introverts don't mind social interaction, we just don't have a need for it like extroverts do. I never disagreed with that. I'm like that myself as well. However, I don't feel that comfortable with the "we vs. them" thing that's being settled. All I'm saying is that things may not be as much of a dichotomy nor as rigidly deterministic as it seems. Maybe I'm just so used to be introverted that I don't like to group myself with introverts rofl. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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deth2munkies
United States4051 Posts
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McBengt
Sweden1684 Posts
I tend to despise stupidity and the incredibly aggravating social games one is expected to play in group interactions to the point where I can stand, at most, a few hours of socialising before needing a long break. I have no interest in trying to pique someone's interest with innuendo and subtle advances, I'll state my point plainly, and if it's not well received that is unfortunate but unavoidable. Sometimes it feels like my crib-space ship took a wrong turn somewhere and I've ended up on a planet with a species I cannot understand for the life of me. | ||
HellRoxYa
Sweden1614 Posts
On December 21 2012 11:51 Evangelist wrote: Seriously introverted people are almost always socially retarded. More often than not, they tend to be autistic too. You cannot walk into a room full of people and be comfortable with it and still be completely introverted. It just is not possible because an introvert has virtually no understanding of how other people think or behave - constantly judging and guesstimating their behaviour based on what other people do. If you are capable of passably socializing with a large group of people, you are not completely introverted. Trust me on this. I used to be a teacher. I work in academia. Introversion may be a way of thinking/responding to stimuli but severe introversion has a crippling effect on the ability to socialise with other people. It is not a secret club. It is definitely not a big, amazing label to have - some secret power of thinking or understanding. It is, in fact, often crippling to the way in which academics collaborate to the point where courses are given to academics solely to overcome this problem!! So no. If you have developed more or less normally and you prefer your own company but are able to function fine in human society, you are at best mildly introverted. You are not severely introverted. What is mild and severe introversion exactly? I know very well how introverted I am and have always been. And I also know that for the longest time I figured there was something wrong with me (very self detrimental) before I realized that it was just who I am. That being said I don't have a scale to put it on nor do I care. I learned social interaction and much of it I do purely logically rather than empathetically. I play (although not in an evil way) with people's emotional responses from time to time and learn from it. While being a natural at social interaction is a plus, it's not the only way. But yeah, please define mid and severe introversion for me. And while you're at it, define mild and severe extroversion. | ||
SweeTLemonS[TPR]
11739 Posts
On December 21 2012 10:15 CosmicSpiral wrote: I don't like the general tone of the OP. It seems to attempt to make introversion seem like such type of gift instead of what it actually is i.e. a generalized series of traits that are no more 'real' than the categories of emotional intelligence, personality types, moral spectrum, etc. I am a person who spends several hours of isolated time per day to work on my writing skills. I generally do not look forward to making friends unless they are trustworthy people who are deeply driven to succeed. Conversations with useless words annoy me. Reading philosophy books in the comfort of solitude is one of the most enjoyable activities in the world. However I enjoy working out by going outside. Talking to strangers is a great pleasure; popping off can be even better. The exhilaration of a physical fight is one of the most subtle pleasures in the world. The "dichotomy" between extroversion and introversion only exists if you accept its existence. Many of the traits associated with one cross over into the other and can be extremely beneficial. I agree with this. I especially felt this when Ms Cain was speaking. Opposite of how people misunderstand introverts and think being extroverted is a bad thing, there seemed to be a rather heavy undertone implying that extroverts were stupid people that party all the time, and never have meaningful ideas to contribute to society. I know she tried to clarify that she did not think this, but when >95% of a speech is spent building up one thing, the <5% of it qualifying various statements doesn't have much impact. I definitely "walked away" from that feeling like people should feel bad about being extroverted, and that extroverts can't come up with good ideas the way that introverts can, because they spend too much time with other people, and get too involved in groupthink. + Show Spoiler + On December 21 2012 10:16 Thereisnosaurus wrote: as a kind of alpha introvert (best expressed by the line 'yes I am quiet, what are you going to do about it punk?'), I think there's a sort of misconception in the OP that introversion is not aligned with boldness, confidence and charisma. I find I am at my most capable around other people when I let my quieter tendencies lead. I am extremely self confident, self critical (in a positive way) and self aware, so I am capable of making myself into an example of positive humanity. I serve, I prepare, I assist and I encourage, simply by going about my daily life. I would say that the introvert's answer to extroverted charisma and social skill is what might be called 'force of will', the sort of thing you see in someone that tells you this person is both a) not to be fucked with and b) is worth not fucking with because they have their head screwed on straight. Introverts who aren't ashamed of what they feel and represent have incredible raw charisma in their sheer self confidence. I've always seen these people as role models and they've helped me shape myself into my current psychological state. You can be an introvert and still a leader. You simply lead by example, not rhetoric. Along these lines, in a recent class I had to attend for work (regarding accountability), there were a few people that would ramble on and on, seemingly because they couldn't stand not talking all the time. On the other hand, I spoke very few times (along with a couple others), but my statements carried far more impact because they had meaning and thought behind them. I had people approach me after the class to tell me that I had a lot of good ideas (people I had never met before). On December 21 2012 10:35 Maxd11 wrote: I totally agree. And they already are making books about it. Many kid's books have the main hero character as a loner who feels out of place. That's been around forever, he's call Spider Man. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Mstring
Australia510 Posts
On December 21 2012 11:55 Barrin wrote: If you actually realized X then you wouldn't do V, at least according to my intuition which I happen to trust. You're right, I can't prove that you didn't realize that. But you were indeed putting a label on labels whether you realized it or not. And now you have yourself expressed the label that you have put on labels. According to you, 'labeling' is analogous to 'denying possibilities'. good luck to you too. All of my comments are about identifying with concepts. Labels as a shortcut to complicated concepts has never been a part of this discussion so please do not bring it up again. If you identify with a rigid concept ("I am X") you are limiting your possibilities to whatever X entails. It's really that simple. | ||
MountainDewJunkie
United States10340 Posts
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Evangelist
1246 Posts
On December 21 2012 11:59 HellRoxYa wrote: What is mild and severe introversion exactly? I know very well how introverted I am and have always been. And I also know that for the longest time I figured there was something wrong with me (very self detrimental) before I realized that it was just who I am. That being said I don't have a scale to put it on nor do I care. I learned social interaction and much of it I do purely logically rather than empathetically. I play (although not in an evil way) with people's emotional responses from time to time and learn from it. While being a natural at social interaction is a plus, it's not the only way. But yeah, please define mid and severe introversion for me. And while you're at it, define mild and severe extroversion. Considering you were able to do this without medication whereas I was not, I think we can define one of us as severely and one of us as mildly, no? What I find very annoying is when people try and take one of my most overwhelmingly unenjoyable personality traits and make it into a positive out of some need for an identity. I hate being introverted. I would much rather be more extrovert - it doesn't change how I think, I like having people to bounce ideas off, I even enjoy social occasions. However, I find them draining, I find they literally suck the energy out of me. I constantly second guess how people are behaving to the point it used to make me sweat like mad. For 25 years I was a complete social retard. 25 fucking years, man. This whole "logically" rather than "empathetically" stuff. I'm sorry but you don't learn social interactions logically. You either learn them like everyone else or you don't and it's mainly down to fear. Your body chemicals determine how you react to other people. Mine didn't work right - I'm on anti-depressants in order to regulate my fight/flight reaction and they basically allow me to deal with other people. I still do not know how to deal with social situations. I get tongue tied, I still get cold sweats despite the pills and frankly, I still end up getting depressed when little things I say (and hope are noticed) get totally ignored because I am the only one whose brain is going on overdrive trying to figure out wtf is going on! I'm far better than I used to be, but I still have a long way to go. So yeah. Don't lecture me about how introversion is some kind of benefit. I've lived with severe introversion my whole life and I know how much it has crippled me. Yes, there are some loud mouths out there who could use some self perspective. However, I consider them as crippled by extraversion as I am by introversion. Neither extreme is particularly useful. Much better to be a balance. | ||
farvacola
United States18820 Posts
Now don't get me wrong, not everyone is capable of that sort of self-therapy, but that is more or less my point. An over-indulgence in the safety of a definition can lead one to become complacent or perhaps even more self-destructive in their zeal to come to terms with the borders of their identity rather than the thing itself. So, if you want to call yourself introverted and proud, that's fine, just make sure you actually are proud, for change need not be far away. | ||
Antisocialmunky
United States5912 Posts
Introvert(56%) iNtuitive(75%) iNtuitive Feeling(12%) Judging(44%) You have moderate preference of Introversion over Extraversion (56%) You have distinctive preference of Intuition over Sensing (75%) You have slight preference of Feeling over Thinking (12%) You have moderate preference of Judging over Perceiving (44%) Yay, I always score the same thing. | ||
McBengt
Sweden1684 Posts
On December 21 2012 12:11 farvacola wrote: This thread is somewhat troubling. If being around people is uncomfortable or undesired, reacting with acceptance is merely one way to cope with that. Sometimes, individuals find themselves faced with immense difficulty in human interaction only to find that they really do not enjoy feeling that way, no matter how much self-acceptance is shoved down their throat, and they do something about it. Whether that be subtly increasing the volume of interaction, developing a tolerance for inter-personal embarrassment, or simply practicing speaking in front of a mirror. I had a friend who hated having to be in social situations, as in he would sometimes pass out from exhaustion at parties, the mall, or even at school. He grew tired of this inability to go out into the world, so he went out of his way to seek out places with increasingly large numbers of people and interaction, starting with libraries and moving his way up. Over time, he became able to go to the movies without issue, and eventually he never had to worry again, and could start conversations with strangers using public transportation. Now don't get me wrong, not everyone is capable of that sort of self-therapy, but that is more or less my point. An over-indulgence in the safety of a definition can lead one to become complacent or perhaps even more self-destructive in their zeal to come to terms with the borders of their identity rather than the thing itself. So, if you want to call yourself introverted and proud, that's fine, just make sure you actually are proud, for change need not be far away. Again, this thinly veiled assertion that the hyperactive, relentlessly outgoing lifestyle is, on some profound level, the correct one and that those who do not subscribe to it can change if they only want it badly enough. It's insulting, infuriating and honestly rather dumb. As if acceptence would simply be an alternate solution, rather than the only sensible one. What you described with your friend is nothing like a normal introverted personality type. If you pass out at parties and at the mall you have other issues, those are not normal personality traits. I have no desire to have my life resemble a Husky SC2 cast, an endless deluge of words and exclamations that more often than not are very limited in actual content. | ||
farvacola
United States18820 Posts
On December 21 2012 12:21 McBengt wrote: Again, this thinly veiled assertion that the hyperactive, relentlessly outgoing lifestyle is, on some profound level, the correct one and that those who do not subscribe to it can change if they only want it badly enough. It's insulting, infuriating and honestly rather dumb. As if acceptence would simply be an alternate solution, rather than the only sensible one. What you described with your friend is nothing like a normal introverted personality type. If you pass out at parties and at the mall you have other issues, those are not normal personality traits. I have no desire to have my life resemble a Husky SC2 cast, an endless deluge of words and exclamations that more often than not are very limited in actual content. You've clearly misunderstood what I said, so allow me to rephrase (retort ![]() | ||
SweeTLemonS[TPR]
11739 Posts
On December 21 2012 12:35 farvacola wrote: You've clearly misunderstood what I said, so allow me to rephrase (retort ![]() I could be wrong, but I think what farva is trying to say is that people shouldn't confuse legitimate social disorders with being introverted, and that accepting a legitimate social disorder by labeling it as introversion is as bad as not being accepting of people who just prefer to spend time alone. His friend had a social disorder, based on what he described. Too many people in this thread seem to want to make things black and white, and "us vs them," and that leads absolutely nowhere. There's nothing wrong with needing alone time to recharge, just as there's nothing wrong with enjoying being around people. There's nothing wrong with preferring to spend the majority of your time alone, reading books, etc. If that isn't the way you want to be, though, you shouldn't accept it by putting a label on yourself and convincing yourself that you can't change, in an attempt to comfort yourself over your own shortcomings (as defined by you). | ||
Steelavocado
United States2123 Posts
Introvert(89%) iNtuitive(38%) iNtuitive Thinking(12%) Judging(22%) You have strong preference of Introversion over Extraversion (89%) You have moderate preference of Intuition over Sensing (38%) You have slight preference of Thinking over Feeling (12%) You have slight preference of Judging over Perceiving (22%) Introverts fighting! Great thread. | ||
PSdualwielder
Canada77 Posts
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HardlyNever
United States1258 Posts
Keep in mind that not all of what is said/thought about introverts will apply to you, even if you feel you are an introvert. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Synapze
Canada563 Posts
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MountainDewJunkie
United States10340 Posts
On December 21 2012 13:22 Synapze wrote: I don't feel like im either an extrovert or introvert.. I prefer bits of both in doses. I do enjoy staying home though compared to going out. NO! You must be defined as a single type, not a moderate! Liberal or conservative! Pro-life or pro-choice! Baked potatoes or mashed potatoes! ![]() | ||
Mefano
Sweden190 Posts
This made me feel good, like a little pepp talk. | ||
Spiffeh
United States830 Posts
I'm not introverted or extroverted. I'm a human being. And that's the only label worth giving anyone. | ||
Clarity_nl
Netherlands6826 Posts
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Hug-A-Hydralisk
United States174 Posts
"The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind." But I am I guess what you would call a former introvert and have recently converted to extrovertism which I thought was just a phase everyone goes through during college. But at what point can you call yourself an extrovert? My theory is that your VERT is a virtue and that you can't be too introverted and too extroverted but you need a perfect balance of both because in some situations being one or the other may save you from situations like work, school, relationships, etc... Extrovert (vice) <-------------------------------both(virtue)------------------------------->Introvert (vice) | ||
ThreeSixDrew
Canada183 Posts
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sluggaslamoo
Australia4494 Posts
But if you wanna be successful you have to learn to small talk and communicate. Its one of the most important lifeskills to have. | ||
Clarity_nl
Netherlands6826 Posts
Given that I have an engineering degree I find it quite fitting. =] Could someone explain in laymans terms the difference between sensing and intuiting? Thanks! | ||
Fruscainte
4596 Posts
Just shut up for a moment and listen to people some time. It's hilarious. Gonna take this test thing though now, see if I'm INTP or ENJF or whatever EDIT: Man I'm a great guesser. INTP it was. Interesting. | ||
WIllBIll
590 Posts
Edit: This thread man, best read I've had in a while. | ||
MetalPanda
Canada1152 Posts
Also, that myth thing is very well done, it's all me. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Mstring
Australia510 Posts
On December 21 2012 14:11 Barrin wrote: Your way (which as far as I can interpret is to basically not try to understand your strengths/weaknesses/preferences) You have misinterpreted. I am not assuming that every piece of my personality is introverted (not even close). But knowing that the fact that I like to be alone a lot is just what I fucking like and can even be a good thing makes it okay to tell people to leave me alone. How does invoking the concept of introversion help you in this regard? You're just making your preferences known. It's ok! Not because you're an "introvert", but because we all have our own unique preferences! No one needs external validation for their preferences. | ||
r.Evo
Germany14079 Posts
On December 21 2012 14:11 Barrin wrote: What exactly do you think the Possibilities of introversion entails? Introversion and Extraversion (etc) are not rigid concepts that you're supposed to identify with. They're psychological preferences and the OP literally states that everyone does both of them. That's the issue here. You're celebrating them like some kind of lifestyle and something you have to deal with and embrace without any possible change. That's putting people into arbitrary categories, it's limiting personal growth. Not to mention the insane amount of coldreading in those tests you present as "make this test and find out who you really are!".. Edit: What I'm getting at, it's fine to say "I enjoy being alone from time to time" - saying "I enjoy being alone from time to time because I'm an introvert" is plain stupid because it removes any kind of personal responsibility or choice from the equation. The only reason to use this statement is to feel better about ones actions by shifting away "blame" or responsibility. | ||
TheRabidDeer
United States3806 Posts
On December 21 2012 14:49 r.Evo wrote: That's the issue here. You're celebrating them like some kind of lifestyle and something you have to deal with and embrace without any possible change. That's putting people into arbitrary categories, it's limiting personal growth. Not to mention the insane amount of coldreading in those tests you present as "make this test and find out who you really are!".. Edit: What I'm getting at, it's fine to say "I enjoy being alone from time to time" - saying "I enjoy being alone from time to time because I'm an introvert" is plain stupid because it removes any kind of personal responsibility or choice from the equation. The only reason to use this statement is to feel better about ones actions by shifting away "blame" or responsibility. Even extroverts enjoy being alone from time to time, there is no blame or responsibility in these choices. I am an introvert and the only way I handle large groups is to focus on just one or two people at a time otherwise it feels a bit overwhelming. I do this for times that I have to speak in front of an audience as well as when I am at work (I am a waiter). I focus ALL of my attention on a very limited scope. | ||
lazyitachi
1043 Posts
You have strong preference of Introversion over Extraversion (78%) You have distinctive preference of Intuition over Sensing (75%) You have strong preference of Thinking over Feeling (88%) You have slight preference of Judging over Perceiving (11%) Same thing every test I took... J/P is meh... but others are strongly favored.. I think those are good read but there is a step II in the MBTI which actually gives a further breakdown and much better explanation. This is another good test.. I think they provide a good sense of personality: www.123test.com/personality-test Honestly, such test are always best taken by answering quickly and not overthinking. They give you a good sense of who you are and such is subject to change as time goes on. By no means do they mean much other than to reaffirm you. | ||
r.Evo
Germany14079 Posts
On December 21 2012 14:59 TheRabidDeer wrote: Even extroverts enjoy being alone from time to time, there is no blame or responsibility in these choices. I am an introvert and the only way I handle large groups is to focus on just one or two people at a time otherwise it feels a bit overwhelming. I do this for times that I have to speak in front of an audience as well as when I am at work (I am a waiter). I focus ALL of my attention on a very limited scope. The issue is that the plain statement "I am an introvert" is a limiting belief in itself. Just because some random test on the internet (or random friends during your childhood, your parents, etc.) told you "Wow, you're really the introverted type" is no reason to reinforce that image. There is an issue as soon as someone says "I do xyz/am able to do xyz because I belong to a certain group of people" You don't visit Teamliquid because you were born in 1989, because you're male or because you love being a nerd. You visit TL because you like visiting TL. That is all the reason a person should need. Adding something like "...because I am an introvert" to the statement "I enjoy being alone from time to time" does nothing but seek validation from some artificial peer group. Not an awesome standard or something to be proud of to celebrate it. | ||
Dreamer.T
United States3584 Posts
Anyways my personal opinion on introversion and extroversion are that humans are far too complex to be placed in either of these 2 categories. Most people are a gray blend of these two. And people change all the time as well. I enjoy time alone like introverts do, but I also need time to talk to others as well. I also feel intelligence or smartness has little to do with people being introverted or extroverted. Just because you're introverted, doesn't make you smart. Just because you're extroverted, doesn't make you stupid. | ||
TheRabidDeer
United States3806 Posts
On December 21 2012 15:09 r.Evo wrote: The issue is that the plain statement "I am an introvert" is a limiting belief in itself. Just because some random test on the internet (or random friends during your childhood, your parents, etc.) told you "Wow, you're really the introverted type" is no reason to reinforce that image. There is an issue as soon as someone says "I do xyz/am able to do xyz because I belong to a certain group of people" You don't visit Teamliquid because you were born in 1989, because you're male or because you love being a nerd. You visit TL because you like visiting TL. That is all the reason a person should need. Adding something like "...because I am an introvert" to the statement "I enjoy being alone from time to time" does nothing but seek validation from some artificial peer group. Not an awesome standard or something to be proud of to celebrate it. "because I am an introvert" is just a label that gives a general description about yourself when you might be talking with others. It is a label, not an excuse or a reason. I disagree with your general idea of "saying you are something is an excuse" What you are doesnt change when you take a test telling you are an ISJT, it is a broad label that describes you. | ||
jcroisdale
United States1543 Posts
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Qwyn
United States2779 Posts
Holy shit. I'm an introvert. Fuck yeah. | ||
Sephy90
United States1785 Posts
Earl Wilson If you wouldn’t write it and sign it, don’t say it. I tend to worry.. well not so much worry but pay more attention to what I say as if I'm the listener. Basically I don't want to sound stupid lol. | ||
Maxyim
430 Posts
TLDR - labels are excuses; man up and get out there (or go home). | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Mstring
Australia510 Posts
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Mstring
Australia510 Posts
On December 21 2012 15:38 Barrin wrote: Using both your explicit preference and the term introversion can give the recipient a wider category of experience to draw from in order to understand what you mean. If you want to be alone, be alone. The recipient of your preference needs only know that it is your preference to be alone. No further justification is needed, especially external appeals to the masses. What exactly is 'externally validating people's preferences' and what do you mean by that? It means looking outside yourself for someone/thing to tell you that your preference is "OK". No such thing is needed. All preferences are OK in the sense that they can't be argued with and need no further justification: they are your preferences because they are. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Mstring
Australia510 Posts
On December 21 2012 15:44 Barrin wrote: I'm only showing why its okay to be introverted if that's what you happen to be (I'm not deciding it for anyone). This highlights my issue. Introversion is simply the broad label applied to a general set of preferences. When you reduce "its okay to be introverted" down it simply looks like this: "it's ok to have your own preferences". Invoking the introversion concept here adds a redundant layer to the equation. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Mstring
Australia510 Posts
On December 21 2012 15:49 Barrin wrote: You haven't been taking the official Myers Briggs test. The official test has to be issued by someone who's certified. You have to take it like 3-4 times over the course of a few weeks/months. Only after you have done that will the test be 75-90% accurate. You really should read more about this stuff dude. What you're experiencing is completely normal... people have all sorts of personality traits inside them that appear at different times depending on their circumstances. Your problem with introversion is only a problem with your understanding of it - and your fear that others will also misunderstand it. The point of the test is to figure out which one type you use most often. You are putting all sorts of meanings on these things than what they actually mean. How much research have you done on this stuff? For the fourth time please stop telling me what I am doing. You do you, I'll do me. To make this obvious, tell me exactly what it is that I am experiencing. I have zero fear about people misunderstanding "introversion". People will do what they do. Take it or leave it. If people want to fall into the identity trap, I can't stop them. I place zero meaning on the test results I received. Read my last remark: I found it a fun game ![]() | ||
MadNeSs
Denmark1507 Posts
And on a side note, I'm INTJ, and has scored that for years, and I'm not really surprised that so many starcraft players have scored the same (or atleast INTP), or atleast in the 'rationals' category. It's weird INTJ, gaming and strategy really seem to go hand in hand, doesnt it? | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Synapze
Canada563 Posts
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Mstring
Australia510 Posts
On December 21 2012 15:52 Barrin wrote: Um no, because I am specifically targeting introversion. Surely you've gotten the memo. I thought I was doing me? You said that you are "showing why it's okay to be introverted". I am saying that you cannot "be" introverted. Introversion is a label that is applied to you from the outside. You cannot be it, you can only have it attached to you. The difference is profound. It transforms "it's ok to be introverted" into "it's ok to have preferences which a bunch of other people someone thinks you might be similar to also have". When you frame it like this, the need for external validation becomes clear. My solution is absurdly simple: WE'RE ALL OK! ![]() | ||
CtrLZerG
United States104 Posts
I've done a lot of research on this stuff in the past, mostly in order to understand my friends better, and improve the way I communicate with people I'm not entirely comfortable with... For example, I converse very well with intuitive people (who are abstract, very creative and hypothetical, often discuss a less tangible 'feeling' they get about things...) I have a lot of trouble conversing with sensory people (who like concrete, tested ideas based off facts and tangible sources) I'd say that learning about these different personality types has helped me understand people better... there are many people I feel a lot more comfortable with, who I found were brilliant thinkers in their own way, despite being more concrete and sensory based... You just have to know how to draw people out! It's really been quite humbling, to be honest! ![]() After all, people are social creatures, regardless of whether someone is an introvert or an extrovert, sensory or intuitive, feeling or thinking.... I found some of the best learning experiences come from communication between people who have different perspectives... so this is a really useful tool for learning how to communicate better, in my humble opinion..! | ||
WikidSik
Canada382 Posts
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husniack
203 Posts
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Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Mstring
Australia510 Posts
On December 21 2012 16:13 Barrin wrote: How am I supposed to tell you what you are experiencing? You tell me. Here are your words: "what you are experiencing is normal". What is it that I am experiencing that is normal? Indeed, people will do what they do. And we have labels for these things... the point of these labels is indeed to apply meaning for the purpose of ease of reference based on bits of context from memory. We humans have found giving names to things to be very useful. You can live in a world with meaningless words if you wish - I'm not stopping you. I've already told you that I have no problem with labels as an anchor for concepts and I even asked you not to bring it up again. I am growing tired of repeating myself so I bid you adieu. Thanks for the dialogue. | ||
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p4NDemik
United States13896 Posts
Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I'll abstain from saying anything more and judge all of you. | ||
MadNeSs
Denmark1507 Posts
On December 21 2012 16:20 p4NDemik wrote: INTJ here. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I'll abstain from saying anything more and judge all of you. That's so INTJ'ish of you to say ![]() | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Ghostcom
Denmark4782 Posts
But sure, if it helps you in any way to assign yourself to a label - go straight ahead. | ||
Incze
Romania2058 Posts
The phone part is especially funny, because it's so true. I hate that thing | ||
Ghostcom
Denmark4782 Posts
On December 21 2012 16:27 Barrin wrote: Taking a test - especially an unofficial one - a few times over a long period of time and getting somewhat different results is normal. It is normal to do so for roughly 50% of those who takes the official test within 9 months. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Iplaythings
Denmark9110 Posts
Damn those guys woulda hated me IRL, I never ever shut up when I have something to talk about (ES/NFJ if that helps). Though half of those introvert myths apply to me, I've never been see as not being extraverted,.. And in this thread there's a lot of texts which I skipped over.. gonna be reading it eventually, seemed interesting ![]() | ||
Jisall
United States2054 Posts
I don't believe in labels. They are made up ways to build mental barriers between people. Labels are all in your head. We are all people with different tastes and preferences. No labels. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Suc
Australia1569 Posts
On December 21 2012 16:20 p4NDemik wrote: INTJ here. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I'll abstain from saying anything more and judge all of you. INFJ, son, get dem emotions in there! | ||
TheSwedishFan
Sweden608 Posts
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sluggaslamoo
Australia4494 Posts
On December 21 2012 13:39 Clarity_nl wrote: I got ISTP: "Engineer". Values freedom of action and following interests and impulses. Independent, concise in speech, master of tools. 5.4% of total population. Given that I have an engineering degree I find it quite fitting. =] Could someone explain in laymans terms the difference between sensing and intuiting? Thanks! Sensing to Intuition is like Judging to Perceiving. Rather than making decisions on what you notice with your 5 senses, you make decisions on what you don't see. Intuition is like sensing someone is lying and not believing them even though your senses tell otherwise, or believing something is going to happen and going with it, rather than acting on your 5 senses. Sensing people tend to like physical stuff (like sports). Intuitive people tend to like non-physical stuff like chess/poker. | ||
Superouman
France2195 Posts
You should add "map-maker" to introvert-friendly jobs :p | ||
tuestresfat
2555 Posts
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Kenpachi
United States9908 Posts
not sure if im extrovert or heavily influenced introvert lol Extravert(1%) iNtuitive(38%) iNtuitive Thinking(25%) Perceiving(11)% Introverted (I) 52.78% Extroverted (E) 47.22% Sensing (S) 54.05% Intuitive (N) 45.95% Thinking (T) 54.55% Feeling (F) 45.45% Judging (J) 51.11% Perceiving (P) 48.89% i dunno i think its possible im an ambivert haha Or im a shy extrovert -_- | ||
Tobberoth
Sweden6375 Posts
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Sugarfluff
Sweden132 Posts
It's been awhile since I took this test (INTP at the time), and it helped me. Not so much in accepting who I am, I knew I was introverted (or leaning towards it on the spectrum, since apparently using the short phrase is starting to upset technical people) before I had a word for it. But the accompanying literature (much of it FREE, I have never actually paid for any of it) helped me a great deal in socializing. And this doesn't mean that I am now less introvert, it simply means I am dealing with it better in those specific situations. This OP isn't glorifying being introvert. It's merely completely focused on it, which for the purpose of discussion I don't really agree with, since introversion is often measured by how extroverted you are rather than the opposite. But it's a good OP and a fun subject. | ||
geno
United States1404 Posts
I was actually really glad when I first started reading up on this stuff in college. Among my trait preferences, introversion over extroversion is by far my strongest delineation (test I just took had it as +100% but I don't know that it's quite THAT strong!). When I first saw that list of myths and trait descriptions long ago, I was pretty amazed at how accurate they were. To the person who was decrying the notion of 'labels', I feel I have to mention that labels are only really a negative influence when they are used that way. When people prejudge you as something and assume a lot about you for instance. Or if you do the same to yourself and limit your potential as a result. But the idea of classifying yourself, and identifying with a larger subset of society can be positive as well. Knowing you aren't alone in the way you think and that it's neither bad nor weird to be an introvert (or any other 'label' for that matter). There is definitely value in that. | ||
KurtistheTurtle
United States1966 Posts
I also thought something was wrong with me that I'd be utterly exhausted after being around a lot of people for a while when most of the people I hang out with weren't. The more you know | ||
PandaCore
Germany553 Posts
I often find myself having nothing worthwhile to say in social conversations involving many people and sit there idly. But when I find something I can talk about, I really talk a lot and are very passionate about the things that interest me. Large crowds and noiseful environments often exhaust me very quickly and I usually tend to shut down. I usually leave then, but if I have to stay I even fall into a state that most people would probably say is depressed. I get very hard to approach at that point and really just want to be alone and brush people off. I think I have a lot of friends, but only very few close ones that I value very much. And even though I live in another town miles away for years now, I still keep contact to those people that are dear to me. I haven't really made many acquaintances over the years in the new town, also because I don't want them to take up the time I reserve for my old friends. I like to be alone a lot though, but sometimes I really get lonely as well. I also have a lot of things I'm interested in and try my hand at, but I never really stick to anything long term. I get about average pretty easily at things I try, but never master anything, because a new interest is already up ahead. For example I play the guitar, play the drums, try to draw, video editing, different kinds of sports... same with video games, I never really stick for a long time to the same one. I played SC2 until I got to Diamond (there still wasn't a Masters league) and after that I lost interest and quit. Reading up on this makes me understand myself a little better, or maybe it's just an excuse, I don't know. Sometimes I feel I have to change, but I don't know if this is really possible without putting a substantial amount of work into it... and honestly I don't really know if I want to. In my job I worked in an open plan office for a long time, but due to the noise there was a point where I had to ask my superior to switch me to a smaller office. I didn't really want to come off as weak or sensitive, that's why I endured quite a long time in there, but at some point I was pretty close to depression and was aggravated very easily if someone would talk too loudly... Did the first two tests and the results are pretty close: ISTJ Introvert(78%) Sensing(1%) Thinking(12%) Judging(11%) ISTJ Introverted (I) 78.79% Extroverted (E) 21.21% Sensing (S) 50% Intuitive (N) 50% Thinking (T) 60.98% Feeling (F) 39.02% Judging (J) 51.35% Perceiving (P) 48.65% | ||
Latham
9554 Posts
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Alex1Sun
494 Posts
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kaykaykay
Singapore637 Posts
![]() Anyone read her book yet? | ||
teapot
United Kingdom266 Posts
And what I always took to be my basic selfishness and misanthropy is actually me just needing to "recharge my social battery" with some "quiet alone time". Thank god for that. Lol. I always knew I was a genius and not an anti-social asshole. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Butterednuts
United States859 Posts
Perhaps I'll check out a book on introversion. | ||
r.Evo
Germany14079 Posts
On December 21 2012 15:44 Barrin wrote: I'm not putting anyone into any category. I'm hardly celebrating introverts... I'm only showing why its okay to be introverted if that's what you happen to be (I'm not deciding it for anyone). huh? my exact words: "These questionnaires can help you figure out your set of leanings:" I agree 100%. Zzzz.... go back and skim over your OP. Sure you're celebrating, not plain informing people. =P ... Compare your OP with a random "breast cancer awareness" thingy, the difference is huge. However, since sleep is awesome I found my real issue with this: - "I prefer to not interact with people if possible." - This statement describes a preference, a character trait. I'm even fine with calling it an introverted character trait. - "I'm not good at interacting with people." - This statement talks about a skill-set. Something that's learnable, teachable and practicable. Now, if you talk about the category of "being an introvert" suddenly the lines between the two statements above become blurry, which is not a good thing when it comes to figuring out ones weaknesses, strengths and in general trying to improve oneself. Let's look at some quotes from the last few pages: On December 21 2012 19:51 PandaCore wrote: I mean, I'm introverted, I know that, but they make me feel that it's ok and normal to be that way. I often find myself feeling awkward in social situations and I'm not much of a talker. I don't really like small talk and often just get to the point, especially in my working environment. "Feeling awkward in social situations" = Skillset. More precisely associated emotion with a weak skillset. "Not much of a talker" = Skillset. "I don't really like small talk" = Preference. Might be skillset related because of the negative association. On December 21 2012 14:04 MetalPanda wrote: Thanks for this thread, I understand myself much better with that. For example, I couldn't figure out why I've never been able to say much except to people that really shares some of the same interests as me, I can listen and answer to people and crack a few jokes here and there, but even if I try to come up with small talk, nothing really comes. -"Not able to say much ecept to people who share some my interests". - DUH. Every single person on this planet has an easier time talking to people who share interests with someone. -"If I try to come up with small talk, nothing really comes." - Skillset related. That's what I meant originally by "shifting away responsibility from the individual to some higher power". Suddenly "being an introvert" doesn't mean "I have lot of introverted preferences" anymore but it provides an excuse for being weak at certain skillsets. Whether you like doing math or a certain foreign language directly correlates with being good at it. Here's the deal: If someone would tell you that you're bad at math because... you're bad at math you will never improve. Tell someone who is bad at math (...but would like to be better at it) that you'll teach him for a while, he learns some more of it and THEN says "Wow, I understand how this works now but I STILL don't like it" then, and only then, you can be sure it's about his preference and not related to his weak skillset in the area. Do I make more sense now? :> | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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La1
United Kingdom659 Posts
I got this as my result o_O oh i just did the jung typology test and got ENTP | ||
xM(Z
Romania5277 Posts
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Cheerio
Ukraine3178 Posts
On December 21 2012 23:48 xM(Z wrote: the reason for the abundance of intp/intj here, is that extroverts lie. ![]() why would smb lie to look like an introvert? | ||
Cubu
1171 Posts
btw, what do you mean by this : emphasize that success comes through being highly social and outgoing Isn't the way to success the same throughout every society? That is, by getting good marks and other ways that contribute to society or results in getting alot of money. How does being social and outgoing make you successful? | ||
xM(Z
Romania5277 Posts
On December 21 2012 23:56 Cheerio wrote: why would smb lie to look like an introvert? 'cause you like the feeling you get when you're belonging to ... it makes you warm inside | ||
xM(Z
Romania5277 Posts
On December 21 2012 23:57 Cubu wrote: honestly, i don't see introversion as something that needs awareness. Introverts and extroverts are just normal people who live together quite well. But then again, i don't live in america so i might be wrong. introversion is blamed for most of the mass xxx-sprees that happen out there plus, they are the main target of bullies. | ||
r.Evo
Germany14079 Posts
On December 21 2012 23:22 Barrin wrote: Uh no. I don't like cooking, but I'm actually very good at it, because I like good food which encouraged me to practice. Not liking something is not the same as not being good at it. Go check out the list of introverted actors... most of those people identify themselves as shy and reserved around people and yet they're fucking amazing actors. In fact introverts often feel like actors, and they're good at it even if they don't like it. BTW you're talking about skills which are learned, it is talent that you are born with. Talent is how good that person is at math to begin with... Talent is a strength/weakness too, not just acquired skills. Again, the only problem here is how the label is being used. If you never bothered to cook because someone told you "You can't cook well because you're male" that's on the same level as saying "You can't interact well with people because you're an introvert" aka utter bullshit. The list of introverted actors? Who TOLD you that they're introverted? What is that person basing that claim on? Most of the people in this thread who stand up and say "Hey I can totally relate to this or that result of this or that personality test!" simply fall into the trap of how those test results are presented: In a very similar way to horoscopes, filled with cold reading that applies to most people who read them. You populate certain images of how someone should be if he is "an introvert". It is no different from any other lable you could attach to a certain group of people. I work in an industry that is pretty much based on "helping shy and introverted people" - from that experience I dare saying that most of the people I have dealt with aren't "introverted" or "shy"; - they're just bad at interacting with people because no one ever told them how to. But, hey, instead you can also give them a reason to believe that this is how they were born, this is how it will be and there's nothing they can change about it. Happiness and freedom doesn't come from being able to say "I am an introvert and I'm proud to be one", it comes from getting rid of labels like this which artificially limit the individuals growth. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Tobberoth
Sweden6375 Posts
On December 21 2012 23:57 Cubu wrote: honestly, i don't see introversion as something that needs awareness. Introverts and extroverts are just normal people who live together quite well. But then again, i don't live in america so i might be wrong. btw, what do you mean by this : Isn't the way to success the same throughout every society? That is, by getting good marks and other ways that contribute to society or results in getting alot of money. How does being social and outgoing make you successful? Because people higher up in the organization notice you more easily. Because your coworkers feel more comfortable around you. Because you make a larger dent. You're louder and you take more place. It's very easy to think that "If you do your job well, you get promoted" when the fact is that it's a bit more complex than that. A company is, usually, a social environment, and while one might wish that they are only evaluated on how efficient they work, their social competence will usually also matter a lot. | ||
WTFZerg
United States704 Posts
I don't really enjoy going out and spending time with large groups of people for long periods of time because frankly, people piss me off. But I am told I am pretty charismatic and know for a fact that I have won people over by pretending to care. I've always aced job interviews and I have absolutely no problem with public speaking, but I only do well in those situations because I know I'm going to get something out of it, whether it be a job, a good grade, or just recognition. On December 21 2012 23:57 Cubu wrote: honestly, i don't see introversion as something that needs awareness. Introverts and extroverts are just normal people who live together quite well. But then again, i don't live in america so i might be wrong. btw, what do you mean by this : Isn't the way to success the same throughout every society? That is, by getting good marks and other ways that contribute to society or results in getting alot of money. How does being social and outgoing make you successful? Being invisible in the business world is worse than being dead; at least people will recognize your name if you died on company time. If you are incapable of selling your product, your skills, and your self you are not going to do as well as far as promotions and income as someone who can. It does not even matter if you're the best of the best; If you cannot sell your self you're basically screwed. Networking plays such a massive role in professional success that the adage "It's not what you know, it's who you know" is pretty much always going to be accurate. Not to say it's that way in all cases, but it holds true in a lot of situations. | ||
r.Evo
Germany14079 Posts
On December 22 2012 00:16 Barrin wrote: Yes, that is utter bullshit. I don't know why you would listen to someone who's talking like that. No... that's just how they might be, more specifically, what the way some have been. I never said that's how introverts should be. Don't put words in my mouth. I still think you're misunderstanding what it means you be an introvert. You seem to be attaching all sorts of connotations that aren't actually there. Everyone has a slew of personality traits that arise or not depending on the circumstances. You seem to think that when someone says "I am an introvert" they are saying "I am always of an introverted mindset"... when all they're really saying is that the most of the personality traits that tend to arise in them are more on the introverted side of the spectrum. This is extremely flexible, it is you who are being rigid. Your entire OP is full of glorifying, celeberatory quotes that have nothing to do with being introverted or not, most of them trying to attach certain values to the whole topic. That's how you project your own values onto the topic, that has nothing to do with "raising awareness". Again, compare your OP to any type of "promotion" you can find on breast cancer awareness, you won't find such a huge emotional context in those texts. You aim to provoke emotional responses and unlogic conclusions, that in it's very nature has nothing to do with "raising awareness". The pretty much first big argument started by you saying "Fuck you" to someone who told you that identifying with labes such as "introvert" is bullshit, but it's obviously the other side who is being rigid. You WANT to see people bashing on introverts because you're emotionally attached to the definition, because you try to define yourself via an artificial category. Again, this has nothing to with raising awareness. Once again, the issue is that you're encouraging people to say "I am bad at interacting with people because I'm an introvert" instead of saying "I am bad at interacting with people". If you're now going to tell me that this isn't at all what you're trying to communicate, look at most of the responses from "introverted" people in this thread. It seems to be what people take as the gist of your "awareness raising". | ||
felisconcolori
United States6168 Posts
I can accurately say I'm more extroverted in an online environment, but that's about it. I spend more than 2/3s of my time alone (I don't count my cat), can go days and weeks without speaking to another person (unless required, ie work), and it doesn't bother me. So... what? The real introverts are the lurkers. | ||
NoBanMeAgain
United States194 Posts
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SnipedSoul
Canada2158 Posts
On December 22 2012 00:31 felisconcolori wrote: I find it remarkable that a post regarding introversion has reached 11 pages. The OP is long, contains a lot of information. There follows a lot of replies. But... maybe I'm not technically an introvert. Maybe I'm more properly pathologically antisocial. Because I have no real need or want to get in on the exposition going on here about "yay, me too" or "heh - I'm not" or even "you're wrong because" and "I'm right because"... I can accurately say I'm more extroverted in an online environment, but that's about it. I spend more than 2/3s of my time alone (I don't count my cat), can go days and weeks without speaking to another person (unless required, ie work), and it doesn't bother me. So... what? The real introverts are the lurkers. Introverts can talk as much as anyone if they find a topic that interests them. Is it that surprising that a topic about introversion is interesting to introverts? I'm really introverted and won''t say much in most conversations because I don't really follow pop culture or regular sports and I don't care for gossip. However, if you ask me about music, video games, science, or philosophy I will keep talking until you force me to stop. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Fencar
United States2694 Posts
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SnipedSoul
Canada2158 Posts
On December 22 2012 00:57 Fencar wrote: Barrin, have you got anything in there about introverts being really hard on themselves for mistakes? Or is that just me? Certain personality types tend to have very high standards, especially for themselves. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Fencar
United States2694 Posts
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
I guess im just that awesome henceforth I shall refer to myself as INTREXTOVERT | ||
Cheerio
Ukraine3178 Posts
On December 21 2012 22:12 teapot wrote: I took this test and it proves I am deep and intelligent and totally not shallow and stupid. Hooray for me! And what I always took to be my basic selfishness and misanthropy is actually me just needing to "recharge my social battery" with some "quiet alone time". Thank god for that. Lol. I always knew I was a genius and not an anti-social asshole. besides the apparent sarcasm this post makes a very good example of how low level of social activity (i.e. introversion) can be explained in a different way. Introversion-extroversion is probably the worst personality dimension in terms of how many factors influence it and of how predictive it is of other characteristics. | ||
HumpingHydra
Canada97 Posts
I feel that I am quite borderline introvert extrovert. I need my "alone" time, but I have the most fun with friends doing active outward things... But I have only a few friends, and I am often not the most confident in "extrovert" situations. Im getting much better at having confidence when talking to someone random who I don't know, who is in a "superior" position to me. Essentially I feel like a mix of Intro and Extro. BUT, when I have taken the tests and been "categorized" I was kinda shocked that i was classified pretty heavily into introvert. There is power in a name. I began to question what I do and why I do it. I began mentally saying, "oh, thats why I have trouble in X situation." It took me a little while before I realized that for me, the most psychological part of this personality type is the classification. In my mind, It can't be accurate (for me at least). The personality classification test has too much power in and of itself to be effective. This test can't be infalliable and accurate for ever person. At this point in my life, I do not accept any sort of labelling in many areas of life, just understand their personality. In other words, drop the label. This has been very helpful for me. I don't think of people as nerds, shy people, Jocks, or douches. I just think of them as people with their own personality that values specific things. Similarily, you have the love-language classification. This is also another example of classification that I regard as silliness. Anyway, bottom line: I wouldn't get upset at people for wanting to "drop the label". I have found this to be very much freeing. You are you. You can describe yourself whatever way you want. But be careful with using terms like extrovert and introvert, you may find that they have a lot more self deceiving potential than you may like. Also, While I know that this thread was primarily designed with the purpose of Introverted Awareness in mind, I feel that this thread is kinda biased and odd because It doesn't (as far as I know) address problems with both sides Please forgive me if this is not the case, Ignore this last paragraph (I read 90% OP and didn't watch the videos). We live in a society, that by very nature is social. Overly social people run in to problems, Underly-social people can run into problems too. I think both personality types have disadvantages/advantages. I wouldn't personally use the words, "being introverted is good" although I am not sure you used comparable words. Just my thoughts, please don't be offended. | ||
kolst
United States13 Posts
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Cubu
1171 Posts
On December 22 2012 00:20 Tobberoth wrote: Because people higher up in the organization notice you more easily. Because your coworkers feel more comfortable around you. Because you make a larger dent. You're louder and you take more place. It's very easy to think that "If you do your job well, you get promoted" when the fact is that it's a bit more complex than that. A company is, usually, a social environment, and while one might wish that they are only evaluated on how efficient they work, their social competence will usually also matter a lot. They will notice you when you produce distinguished results. Being louder is a nuisance and coworkers feeling more comfortable around you is something trivial, therefore negligable. Of course there are other factors to getting promoted like your boss also being your father or cousin or you coming from a wealthy background which favours your boss, but those circumstances are very uncommon. On December 22 2012 00:28 WTFZerg wrote: I never really got the introvert vs extrovert thing, but maybe that's because I don't feel that I fit into either concept. I don't really enjoy going out and spending time with large groups of people for long periods of time because frankly, people piss me off. But I am told I am pretty charismatic and know for a fact that I have won people over by pretending to care. I've always aced job interviews and I have absolutely no problem with public speaking, but I only do well in those situations because I know I'm going to get something out of it, whether it be a job, a good grade, or just recognition. Being invisible in the business world is worse than being dead; at least people will recognize your name if you died on company time. If you are incapable of selling your product, your skills, and your self you are not going to do as well as far as promotions and income as someone who can. It does not even matter if you're the best of the best; If you cannot sell your self you're basically screwed. Networking plays such a massive role in professional success that the adage "It's not what you know, it's who you know" is pretty much always going to be accurate. Not to say it's that way in all cases, but it holds true in a lot of situations. You wouldn't be invisible if you were a productive worker who shows results. Maybe for a salesperson and other similar job, 'selling yourself' might work. Yes networking is pretty helpful, but it's not something that your average joe can't do. | ||
WTFZerg
United States704 Posts
On December 22 2012 01:22 Cubu wrote: They will notice you when you produce distinguished results. Being louder is a nuisance and coworkers feeling more comfortable around you is something trivial, therefore negligable. Of course there are other factors to getting promoted like your boss also being your father or cousin or you coming from a wealthy background which favours your boss, but those circumstances are very uncommon. You wouldn't be invisible if you were a productive worker who shows results. Maybe for a salesperson and other similar job, 'selling yourself' might work. Yes networking is pretty helpful, but it's not something that your average joe can't do. Networking is not "helpful." Networking is one of the most important skills you can have. You would be extremely surprised at how often people who show results get overshadowed by people who produce less but are more inclined to make themselves known. The job I'm at now fired the previous dude because he literally had no idea how to do his job, but he was here for over a year just because he was able to sell himself. | ||
Cubu
1171 Posts
On December 22 2012 01:25 WTFZerg wrote: Networking is not "helpful." Networking is one of the most important skills you can have. You would be extremely surprised at how often people who show results get overshadowed by people who produce less but are more inclined to make themselves known. The job I'm at now fired the previous dude because he literally had no idea how to do his job, but he was here for over a year just because he was able to sell himself. And what exactly is this job? | ||
Talin
Montenegro10532 Posts
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Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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WTFZerg
United States704 Posts
Database development for an extremely large company. | ||
Cubu
1171 Posts
On December 22 2012 01:30 Talin wrote: Not every job has perfectly measurable results, and even if there are, it normally isn't very difficult for a more assertive person (boss/teammate) to take credit for your work. Obviously if you stand out by a LOT it won't matter, but an introvert is still at a considerable disadvantage. But a boss will be credited for his worker's work whether he decides to or not. That is how management is judged upon. The boss' worker show good results > the higher-ups see it as a reflection of said boss' management skills > boss gets promoted > boss promotes worker who showed good results. Maybe the boss actually doesn't have good management skills but this is the conventional way in the corporate world. | ||
r.Evo
Germany14079 Posts
On December 22 2012 00:45 Barrin wrote: A lot of people in America today think that introversion, etc. is a bad thing... what I'm doing here is essentially reversing that trend by about the same degree that it has been skewed into. I have no problem admitting that I used a sort of propoganda approach... that's what it took to reverse theirs. I was very clear that I said "fuck you for implying that introversion is a bad thing". If he wasn't doing that (and I think the very next thing he said is that he wasn't) then he should have taken no offense to what I said. It was a misunderstanding - I've already PM'd him apologizing for misunderstanding him so much and he admitted that he wasn't being easy to understand. I'm mostly trying to make introverts aware of themselves, not quite as much making extroverts aware of introverts (but ya sure why not if they happen to come along). Nobody is DEFINING themselves with an artificial category. We are only DESCRIBING ourselves. It is you who are misusing the label. No I am not. Stop telling me what I'm doing. What some people take away from what I'm saying is not the same thing as what I'm trying to communicate. You aren't reversing any preconception. You are forcing "introverts" into a similar category as any minority that needs to "stand up and speak for their rights". You are antagonizing anyone who isn't immediately on your side simply by making it "us against them". For the third time in a row you're dodging this line of mine: Once again, the issue is that you're encouraging people to say "I am bad at interacting with people because I'm an introvert" instead of saying "I am bad at interacting with people". When you try to communicate something your initial intent is utterly worthless when you aren't able to communicate it. What matters is what the intended audience receives it as. Just look at your own quote from your very last post: Nobody is DEFINING themselves with an artificial category. We are only DESCRIBING ourselves. It is you who are misusing the label. You imply that: a) "Introverts" are some kind of social or political group with a common agenda. b) "Describing something" isn't the same as "Labeling something". c) The other side of the argument (me) is misunderstanding you after calling you out on your non-existant logical arguments and that you go on to use blatant propaganda instead - all while claiming that you DO make logical "scientific" arguments. d) You make it "us" against "them" when neither side is clearly defined. That's again something that screams "I want validation from a certain peergroup" not "I want to educate people about this subject. e) I can completely identify myself as being introverted. And extroverted. However, trying to fit yourself into either of those categories doesn't make you anyone special, less or more privileged. Your boss wants to see you working more with other people? Either deal with it and learn how to or drop the issue - claiming that it's "unfair" because "I'm introverted" isn't helping anyone involved. It's on the same level as trying to tell someone to hire somebody because he's black or white, not because he's good at his job. | ||
Artisian
United States115 Posts
Also, does anyone else notice a bit of irony at a thread on introverts and the value of silence getting to so many posts so quickly? | ||
Vaporized
United States1471 Posts
On December 21 2012 09:05 SnipedSoul wrote: Being introverted is cool. I know some people whose lives come to an end when they have nowhere to go on a Friday. I appreciate the effort you put into making that ginormous post. Anything to increase awareness would be cool. I'm tired of people thinking that introverts are psychotic time bombs waiting to go off. i was going to say essentially this. but someone got it out of the way on post 4 or something. i liked the part about making friends and having a minimum of friends but the ones you do have you will be loyal to for life. SO TRUE. most people i have no desire to be friends with let alone make small talk with. but there are a few that i would take a bullet for. | ||
r.Evo
Germany14079 Posts
On December 22 2012 01:30 Talin wrote: Not every job has perfectly measurable results, and even if there are, it normally isn't very difficult for a more assertive person (boss/teammate) to take credit for your work. Obviously if you stand out by a LOT it won't matter, but an introvert is still at a considerable disadvantage. It's not the introvert being at a disadvantage, it's the person who can't sell themselves/work in a social setting. If, for whatever reason you can't sell yourself properly in your job or can't work in a social setting even if it's part of your job description then, well, you are inferior to someone who can for that specific job. Someone who has more of the hard or softskills required for his job deserves to be payed more. "Not being good at interacting with people" based off a self-test on the internet isn't a medical condition. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Excludos
Norway7982 Posts
ISTJ here, although the numbers are very low on everything. Introvert at 30%, two of the attributes at under 10 and the last at 1%. Fits quite nicely, as I feel myself I'm a slight introversion, but I don't hate doing extroversion things. | ||
nucLeaRTV
Romania822 Posts
Second test gave me: Itroverted (I) 74.19% Extroverted (E) 25.81% Intuitive (N) 51.43% Sensing (S) 48.57% Thinking (T) 78.13% Feeling (F) 21.88% Judging (J) 67.57% Perceiving (P) 32.43% Your type is: INTJ | ||
HumpingHydra
Canada97 Posts
On December 22 2012 01:33 Barrin wrote: I guess I just don't understand why someone would use a label for anything other than communication. I mean I literally do the exact same thing with precisely every other word. The chemicals in my brain are not the same thing as the symbol I use to express them.. the set of chemicals that are fired in my brain when I see a given symbol is going to be slightly different than your brain.. every time.. for every. single. word. This was in the middle of "My Inner INTJ" part btw: "The internal form of the INTJ's thoughts and concepts is highly individualized, and is not readily translatable into a form that others will understand. However, the INTJ is driven to translate their ideas into a plan or system that is usually readily explainable, rather than to do a direct translation of their thoughts. They usually don't see the value of a direct transaction, and will also have difficulty expressing their ideas, which are non-linear." You see what I'm sayin? I won't deny that there are extroverts with problems stemming from extroversion... but I would assert that in American society there are way more introverts with problems stemming from their introversion. Furthermore, I expect to find mostly introverts among this audience (we introverts love our video games). No offense taken, and I mean none (apologies to Mstring where I did expressly mean it, I shouldn't have done that and my intuition was in fact wrong). This may be due to the fact that I am currently taking a lot of sciences at university, and learning about phylogeny and all the other good stuff I want to forget now that finals are over but... When you make a classification system, do you not make it so that you fit into a category? In my mind you don't assemble categories to split people half way into them. That wouldn't make sense (to me at least). If its an animal, it needs to have a set of characteristics that define it as an animal (kind of, as it actually matters more about descent). We don't call a bacteria an animal because it shares many of the characteristics of animals. If I categorize my books, I don't put one of them in fiction and non-fiction. That would defeat the purpose of categorizing. In my mind at least, this is why labels/categories are dangerous (and that might be from how I think about them). If the test, which obviously has had some research put into it, tells me I am ABCD, then I will tend to believe it. Now this ABCD doesn't technically limit me to the abilities of an ABCD, but I, and I think most other people too, will tend to attach an "because I am an ABCD" to the end of their reasoning as to why they do certain things. One of my worries is that you give a paragraph like the "My inner INTJ". These are someone else's words that you choose to describe you. I would fear this very much, maybe not for you specifically, as you may be quite strong in your personality. I would fear it because a person who listens to how someone else describes them, before knowing how he would describe himself, does not know who he is and what he is like. How can you listen to an external source, expecting it to know you better than you know yourself? I hope people don't need a test to tell them what they're preferences are. This personality classification seems (in my mind) to set people up for categorizing themselves and subconsciously limiting themselves more than understanding who they are and why they do what they do. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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r.Evo
Germany14079 Posts
Proof? Almost every introvert who posted here making the "being bad at interacting with people/disliking it" = being introverted connection in this thread. You literally JUST said "WE are just describing ourselves". That's a line that can easily come from any feminist, pro-choicer or whatever group with special interests you want to pick. It's "us against them" in a nutshell. The Myers-Briggs personality types, specifically how they are presented in your tests are plain unsuable because they are filled with cold reading. Just take this quote of yours from the last page: "INTJs live in the world of ideas and strategic planning. They value intelligence, knowledge, and competence, and typically have high standards in these regards, which they continuously strive to fulfill." Go out on the streets and ask people if they value intelligence, knowledge and competence. Ask them if they have high standards. Ask them if they have lots of ideas. "Strategic planning" is the only buzzword that's not universally applicable in that statement. | ||
Medrea
10003 Posts
Feels like everyone is INTJ | ||
puppykiller
United States3126 Posts
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Medrea
10003 Posts
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Recognizable
Netherlands1552 Posts
On December 22 2012 01:55 r.Evo wrote: More than half of your "famous quotes" are saying "Look anyone who thinks like me is awesome!" - A disclaimer saying "It's okay to be yourself" after a 10 page essay full of mostly untrue/unprovable preconceptions doesn't turn the whole thing around. Proof? Almost every introvert who posted here making the "being bad at interacting with people/disliking it" = being introverted connection in this thread. You literally JUST said "WE are just describing ourselves". That's a line that can easily come from any feminist, pro-choicer or whatever group with special interests you want to pick. It's "us against them" in a nutshell. The Myers-Briggs personality types, specifically how they are presented in your tests are plain unsuable because they are filled with cold reading. Just take this quote of yours from the last page: Go out on the streets and ask people if they value intelligence, knowledge and competence. Ask them if they have high standards. Ask them if they have lots of ideas. "Strategic planning" is the only buzzword that's not universally applicable in that statement. Ah great. I always felt like this Myer Briggs test was pretty bullshit. But it's used widely isn't it? | ||
LaNague
Germany9118 Posts
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Xenocryst
United States521 Posts
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Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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r.Evo
Germany14079 Posts
On December 22 2012 02:09 Recognizable wrote: Ah great. I always felt like this Myer Briggs test was pretty bullshit. But it's used widely isn't it? From what I understand it's mostly an anglo-american thing. In Germany at least people see the MBTI more as what it is, an indicator. It's about preferences, not personality traits. It also explicitly includes learning behaviour, meaning it is not some kind of accurate model to describe future actions but is intended to analyze actions in retrospect to be able to modify behaviours for the future. If you want to do a fun exercise, pick a random personality type from one of the tests in the OP, show it to a person who knows you well and ask them how much they think it fits to your personality without much more information. It's very, very rare to get answers below 50%. =P http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator#Validity | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Cheerio
Ukraine3178 Posts
On December 22 2012 01:33 Barrin wrote: I mean I literally do the exact same thing with precisely every other word. The chemicals in my brain are not the same thing as the symbol I use to express them.. the set of chemicals that are fired in my brain when I see a given symbol is going to be slightly different than your brain.. every time.. for every. single. word. What do you mean by different? that it is just not the same? | ||
Zaragon
Sweden235 Posts
Being an introvert is not an “excuse”. Calling it an excuse puts it in an absolutely ridiculous context far from the purpose, or any proper usage, of the term. It can however be an explanation for anyone who has yet to come across the concept. Better than generally shitty words like “shyness”, or putting negative connotations to “social skills” because someone doesn’t do small talk. Introversion awareness is important because too many introverts get mislabeled by extroverts in social contexts and start to think of themselves as "socially awkward" because of it. And that in no way says it’s an “us against them” issue, because it is a highly individual matter. Being an introvert is not a disorder or anything of the like; it’s the same as talking about emotional and unemotional people and the social consequences their interaction has. The tests and labels are nothing really, they’re just descriptions. How accurate they are doesn’t matter because there is no scale for them to be accurate about. People will generally recognize themselves and perhaps think about themselves from a different perspective for a moment. I’m sure some people will get stuck in that perspective too, because there always are people who do get stuck in a single perspective—any perspective—but most people have thousands of perspectives from which to view themselves, and this one is, in fact, useful as one of those. And truth is, if you are an introvert and make the effort of reading the whole thing, you are smart enough to put it in enough perspective and context to avoid locking yourself to a single perspective. | ||
r.Evo
Germany14079 Posts
I get that you personally apparently don't seem tobe attaching limiting beliefs with certain descriptions. That is cool and no problem at all. What happens with readers of your OP is that if they fall into the trap of "Oh that sounds like me" they will take the information you present as an authority on the topic. If that authority tells them they belong to category xyz they will, in most cases, inherit the limiting beliefs that go along with it. This personality classification seems (in my mind) to set people up for categorizing themselves and subconsciously limiting themselves more than understanding who they are and why they do what they do. Sure, you say that you hope that people won't do that, but that's what usually happens when some kind of authority tells them something that sounds remotely plausible. Grab someone who is very shy, has weak social skills and get a doctor to tell him he has social anxiety, he most likely will believe him. Your OP is full of descriptions how introverts are and how they aren't. That in itself combined with the "we are a group"-propaganda will lead most "introverted" readers to the logic fallacy of "I have certain introvert traits" -> "I am an introvert" -> "I have most of these traits". | ||
nucLeaRTV
Romania822 Posts
On December 22 2012 01:50 nucLeaRTV wrote: I'm an Introvert(78%) iNtuitive(88%) iNtuitive Thinking(38%) Judging(22%) - INTJ. Second test gave me: Itroverted (I) 74.19% Extroverted (E) 25.81% Intuitive (N) 51.43% Sensing (S) 48.57% Thinking (T) 78.13% Feeling (F) 21.88% Judging (J) 67.57% Perceiving (P) 32.43% Your type is: INTJ Did some digging about INTP and INTJ and I find myself having mostly INTP characteristics. Is there any test to differentiate between only INTJ and INTP ? I shall look closely into both to see which one I feel fits me best. | ||
farvacola
United States18820 Posts
On December 22 2012 02:30 nucLeaRTV wrote: Did some digging about INTP and INTJ and I find myself having mostly INTP characteristics. Is there any test to differentiate between only INTJ and INTP ? I shall look closely into both to see which one I feel fits me best. Dude, you don't need either of them to fit you, you only need to fit yourself. If you don't fall neatly into one of the categories, thats OK! Barrin, it is precisely thought patterns like that above that r.Evo and others are speaking to when they criticize your OP. | ||
Carras
Argentina860 Posts
I have almost a quarter century experience as an introvert coolest way of saying you are a 25 year old introvert i have ever seen | ||
r.Evo
Germany14079 Posts
On December 22 2012 02:27 Zaragon wrote: r.Evo, I think you’re misinterpreting the whole context of the post, and I don’t think you really understand what it is to be an introvert or else you assume others will misunderstand it instead. Being an introvert is not an “excuse”. Calling it an excuse puts it in an absolutely ridiculous context far from the purpose, or any proper usage, of the term. It can however be an explanation for anyone who has yet to come across the concept. Better than generally shitty words like “shyness”, or putting negative connotations to “social skills” because someone doesn’t do small talk. Introversion awareness is important because too many introverts get mislabeled by extroverts in social contexts and start to think of themselves as "socially awkward" because of it. And that in no way says it’s an “us against them” issue, because it is a highly individual matter. Being an introvert is not a disorder or anything of the like; it’s the same as talking about emotional and unemotional people and the social consequences their interaction has. I can take almost any of the statemens in the OP about introverts, apply them to me and say "yup that's me", from that I'd guess I can understand it very well. Once more, I agree, being an introvert isn't an excuse. The problem is how easy it is to USE it as an excuse. Being bad at social skills is one thing. Excusing being bad at social skills "because I'm introverted" is another. The latter is an easy excuse to not even give improving them (which might even result in one enjoying social interaction more than before) a try. Someone who is introverted or extroverted isn't inherently socially awkward. There's correlation, but no causation. If someone is "socially awkward" then, well, he probably just never learned certain social skills. That's fine, he can do that whenever he wants to, if he wants to. Assuming causation implies that he has more trouble doing so than anyone else. The biggest thing that I notice from working with people who want to improve their social skills is to get over their inherent belief of being bad at them because they experienced so much negative feedback. Actually learning and improving social skills is the easy part of the whole thing. The tests and labels are nothing really, they’re just descriptions. How accurate they are doesn’t matter because there is no scale for them to be accurate about. So if there's a test and it doesn't matter if it's accurate... I'd call it a useless test that shouldn't be around when you're trying to educate people. | ||
Raysalis
Malaysia1034 Posts
INTJ Introvert(100%) iNtuitive(25%) iNtuitive Thinking(25%) Judging(22%) | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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nucLeaRTV
Romania822 Posts
Right now I will just browse both /r/INTJ and /r/INTP for a while to see where I fit the best. Can't believe I have never seen this classification before. Gosh, I'm such an incompetent. Makes me wonder what other piece of information I missed that would've blown my mind as much as this topic. Edit: Somebody said Many INTPs test as INTJ, whereas the opposite phenomenon is less common. There are several reasons for this difference. Also It’s easy. If you haven’t got any doubt you are an INTJ. If you can’t decide which one are you, definitely INTP. | ||
Archaic
United States4024 Posts
I have two examples I'd like opinions on: 1) I worked at a summer camp as a counselor. Before the camp officially started, and the counselors were in "training", we had a plethora of team building and ice breaker exercises. Initially, these made me very uncomfortable. I didn't like the idea of them, and I judged that it would simply form superficial friendships. While I never became too close with any of the people I worked with, I have to admit that it did help at least a little to get to know each person just a little bit before I worked with them for a summer. 2) At my church, we have a youth group, focuses for middle school and high school students. As is fairly common in many churches, we have a "welcoming committee", which basically appoints a few extraverted members of the youth group to say hello to the other youths when they walk in, and try to get to know the people that may be new or don't know very many people. When I was a member of that youth group, as well as when I experienced a similar "welcoming committee" at the church I attend at university, I was really bothered by it. As an introvert, I really did not want these random people I did not know to start harassing me with small talk. I felt almost assaulted on a weekly basis until I could finally settle in quietly. Yes, I still made friends at church, but certainly not through the "welcoming committee". However, I'd like to mention that it was very important for me to finally settle into the group. Yes, it took me longer than usual, and I had to force myself to keep going during a period when I didn't really know very many people. But in the end, being part of the group really does help with the family-like environment that we try to encourage at a church. My questions are whether any of you think there is some alternative to the above. I feel like the two things I mentioned above really tend to steer introverts away from these communities. However, at the same time, if one is to be part of the community, they have to at least develop some degree of connection. In short, how can you better introduce introverts into situations where community is a important aspect of the group? This is something I really have struggled with and I am trying to figure out an alternative to the methods mentioned above, or at least a solution for introverts like myself. | ||
Dracolich70
Denmark3820 Posts
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Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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KirA_TheGreaT
France204 Posts
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Zaragon
Sweden235 Posts
Once more, I agree, being an introvert isn't an excuse. The problem is how easy it is to USE it as an excuse. Being bad at social skills is one thing. Excusing being bad at social skills "because I'm introverted" is another. The latter is an easy excuse to not even give improving them (which might even result in one enjoying social interaction more than before) a try. But no one is doing that, and it can’t even be done because it doesn’t make sense, and nothing in the OP implies it makes sense. What am I missing here? Being an introvert or extrovert only has incidental connections to social skills, but most extroverts mistakenly perceive introverts as bad at them. That affects self image of introverts, if all they previously know is that they're apparently "socially awkward" or "shy", when in truth they're just introverts and their social skills are better in other situations. Learning about being introverted is far more likely to cause someone to think about which ways they might be better naturally, and to discard confidence issues from being mislabeled, than to cause some strange kind of reaching for an excuse that isn't there for an issue that never was there to begin. So if there's a test and it doesn't matter if it's accurate... I'd call it a useless test that shouldn't be around when you're trying to educate people. The tests mean as much as you want them to. They’re much like reading a book; you take away something if there is something for you to take away, but it’s not so likely to corrupt you that it’s not worth reading if you feel like it. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
![]() She's extroverted too and I prefer that in a girl. But it makes us kind of incompatible I feel. Maybe. I dunno. Fuck. Feel free do PM me with all your epic wisdom. | ||
_fool
Netherlands675 Posts
![]() I've always felt like I was more or less spot on in the middle of the Myers-Briggs diagram. Turns out I am (for what the ~72 question test is worth) an ISFJ (Introvert(22%) Sensing(1%) Feeling(50%) Judging(33%)). What I noticed mostly in the impressive OP is the explanation about extroverts gaining energy when taking part in social events, whereas introverts actually drain themselves when taking part in social events. I always thought that social events were exhaustive for everyone, but somehow it was more exhaustive for me ![]() And to the poster above me: On December 22 2012 03:12 Djzapz wrote: Being introverted sucks! ![]() She's extroverted too and I prefer that in a girl. But it makes us kind of incompatible I feel. Maybe. I dunno. Fuck. Be honest to yourself and to your girl. Only thing I can tell you. It might not be a smooth ride. But it's your ride. | ||
Callynn
Netherlands917 Posts
Introvert(100%) iNtuitive(25%) iNtuitive Thinking(50%) Judging(56%) INTJ | ||
h3r1n6
Iceland2039 Posts
Anyway, I am an introvert. I do enjoy parties, but I had to learn that first and I will never enjoy being at the center of it. | ||
Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On December 22 2012 03:17 _fool wrote: Be honest to yourself and to your girl. Only thing I can tell you. It might not be a smooth ride. But it's your ride. =P which one... current one is probably on her way out out of a mutual arrangement for a "break" which probably just leads to parting ways... | ||
SnipedSoul
Canada2158 Posts
On December 22 2012 02:44 Archaic wrote: I'd like some feedback with regards to ice-breaking events that people may have to go through during their life. I would consider myself an introvert, though I have gotten used to feigning interest in these ice-breaking events. While it started as social pressure, I began to realize that as an introvert, what I'd do most naturally as an individual is not necessarily what is best for a group. I have two examples I'd like opinions on: 1) I worked at a summer camp as a counselor. Before the camp officially started, and the counselors were in "training", we had a plethora of team building and ice breaker exercises. Initially, these made me very uncomfortable. I didn't like the idea of them, and I judged that it would simply form superficial friendships. While I never became too close with any of the people I worked with, I have to admit that it did help at least a little to get to know each person just a little bit before I worked with them for a summer. 2) At my church, we have a youth group, focuses for middle school and high school students. As is fairly common in many churches, we have a "welcoming committee", which basically appoints a few extraverted members of the youth group to say hello to the other youths when they walk in, and try to get to know the people that may be new or don't know very many people. When I was a member of that youth group, as well as when I experienced a similar "welcoming committee" at the church I attend at university, I was really bothered by it. As an introvert, I really did not want these random people I did not know to start harassing me with small talk. I felt almost assaulted on a weekly basis until I could finally settle in quietly. Yes, I still made friends at church, but certainly not through the "welcoming committee". However, I'd like to mention that it was very important for me to finally settle into the group. Yes, it took me longer than usual, and I had to force myself to keep going during a period when I didn't really know very many people. But in the end, being part of the group really does help with the family-like environment that we try to encourage at a church. My questions are whether any of you think there is some alternative to the above. I feel like the two things I mentioned above really tend to steer introverts away from these communities. However, at the same time, if one is to be part of the community, they have to at least develop some degree of connection. In short, how can you better introduce introverts into situations where community is a important aspect of the group? This is something I really have struggled with and I am trying to figure out an alternative to the methods mentioned above, or at least a solution for introverts like myself. I think having something to work on is a good way to help introverts get to know people. Most of the friends I made during university were lab partners or part of my project groups. It's nice having something to keep you occupied so that you don't go into overthinking mode where you get too worried about making a social faux pas, if you're making a good impression, etc. Having tons of strangers constantly approaching you and asking tons of questions is a sure way to overwhelm an introvert. Once you get friendlier with the people in your group, it's much easier to be introduced to other people. Having all that interaction dumped on you at once is too much for a lot of introverts, particularly young introverts who can be less comfortable with social interaction due to lack of positive experience. On December 22 2012 03:12 Djzapz wrote: Being introverted sucks! ![]() She's extroverted too and I prefer that in a girl. But it makes us kind of incompatible I feel. Maybe. I dunno. Fuck. Practice. They're called social skills for a reason. | ||
Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On December 22 2012 03:23 SnipedSoul wrote: Practice. They're called social skills for a reason. Well shit I don't have time to practice or she'll find someone else ![]() | ||
LaSt)ChAnCe
United States2179 Posts
On December 22 2012 03:25 Djzapz wrote: Well shit I don't have time to practice or she'll find someone else ![]() have her take one of the surveys to see what kind of extrovert she is... then talk about it and compare it with your type of introvert so that she understands how to interact with you and knows what to expect... it will make life easier for you | ||
Cam Connor
Canada786 Posts
It's pretty laughable | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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LaSt)ChAnCe
United States2179 Posts
On December 22 2012 03:30 cam connor wrote: Man so many introverts have this really convoluted superiority complex It's pretty laughable Pythagoras wrote: Silence is better than unmeaning words. | ||
Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On December 22 2012 03:30 LaSt)ChAnCe wrote: have her take one of the surveys to see what kind of extrovert she is... then talk about it and compare it with your type of introvert so that she understands how to interact with you and knows what to expect... it will make life easier for you Sounds legit ![]() | ||
xM(Z
Romania5277 Posts
![]() i believe people are born what they are, they don't become what they are, so believing a lie won't change them anyway. | ||
Sephiren
United States85 Posts
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puppykiller
United States3126 Posts
On December 22 2012 03:12 Djzapz wrote: Being introverted sucks! ![]() She's extroverted too and I prefer that in a girl. But it makes us kind of incompatible I feel. Maybe. I dunno. Fuck. Feel free do PM me with all your epic wisdom. My advice is to: 1: Not try so hard to hold on to her like she is your only option (whether she is or she isn't) 2: Write a girl blog | ||
Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On December 22 2012 03:59 puppykiller wrote: My advice is to: 1: Not try so hard to hold on to her like she is your only option (whether she is or she isn't) 2: Write a girl blog Nah I'm done, I've thrown my bitch fit. But I want THAT one specifically :>. Her specs are good and rare. (That was intentionally a strange thing to say btw) | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Coal
Sweden1535 Posts
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rhs408
United States904 Posts
I don't even need to take the test to see what degree of introvert I am, I already know I'm whatever the most introverted category is. But I live in a world of extroverts, so at times I am forced to "conform" and unleash the "social skills" that I have picked up in my 30+ years of living in this world (which is truly exhausting for me). At least I can say I have SOME social skills now - in both high school and college, I unfortunately had close to none - of course this made it pretty difficult to make friends or meet/date females (LOL). I agree with the Harvard study that you posted though, that you are what you are (either extrovert or introvert) at a very early age. I don't think my parents could have done anything differently to make me more extroverted than what I am today. It's just who I am, who I've always been. My dad told me a story once of when he was watching me play in a room of kids (we were probably all about 4-5 years old). I was playing with a toy by myself, and seemed to be having a good time. Another boy then came over to me and wanted to play with the same toy (along with me, not take it for himself). I then snatched the toy back, got up, walked away to an empty space in the room and continued to play with the toy by myself. I don't remember this at all, but damn, that sure does sound like me... I have two sisters, one older one younger. Older sister is without a doubt a full fledged extrovert - goes to many parties, throws many parties, very outgoing, is NEVER alone. Younger sister is sort of middle of the road. Interesting though the different levels of extrovert/introvert-ness that can come out of the same parents... my older sister's friends usually cannot believe/comprehend that someone like me is actually her brother. In regards to this: On December 22 2012 03:12 Djzapz wrote: Being introverted sucks! ![]() She's extroverted too and I prefer that in a girl. But it makes us kind of incompatible I feel. Maybe. I dunno. Fuck. Feel free do PM me with all your epic wisdom. There's only three ways this will end: 1. You change the kind of person you are 2. She changes the kind of person she is 3. You both part ways and agree to "just be friends" Sooner or later, she is going to realize and understand what kind of person you are. If she is as extroverted as you say, I'm sorry to say, it probably is not going to last, unless you are prepared to make some huge changes in yourself, as she is certainly not going to be the one to change and become more introverted (or even ACCEPTING of introverts) just to be in a relationship with you. Her extroverted friends wouldn't allow that even if she wanted to. So you need to ask yourself: is this chick worth me making some big changes within myself to become more outgoing? Or should you perhaps try and find someone who will love you for you, introvert or not? Maybe she's worth making a change for - that's up to you. I met my girlfriend of 7 years online via wc3/dota - she's more extroverted than I am, but not to the point to where she gets upset with me if I don't go along with her to a social engagement and instead stay home. She knows who I am and won't force me to go somewhere if I don't want to go (unless it's like her grandma's birthday or something, lol). I don't think the relationship would last very long though if she was as big of an extrovert as say, my older sister. My anti-social behavior would be totally unacceptable. This may be the same case with this girl you are dating. As time goes on, she will get more and more frustrated with your not wanting to be "social". Chances are, she won't be willing to accept it or change herself, either you'll have to change or she will be gone. I would tell it to her like this though: "I'm probably not the most social person that you've ever met, but I'm trying really hard to change that just so I can be with you" or something along those lines (I think showing her this thread would be a bit much for her). Hopefully she will then be a little more patient with your lack of "social skills" and she'll understand/appreciate that you are at least trying to "improve". Maybe then you can make it work. But if you truly are an introvert, changing your introverted ways will be a horribly exhausting process for you - I wish you lots of luck. ![]() | ||
Deleted User 183001
2939 Posts
That said, for those in college, go Greek. ![]() | ||
Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On December 22 2012 04:52 rhs408 wrote: There's only three ways this will end: 1. You change the kind of person you are 2. She changes the kind of person she is 3. You both part ways and agree to "just be friends" Sooner or later, she is going to realize and understand what kind of person you are. If she is as extroverted as you say, I'm sorry to say, it probably is not going to last, unless you are prepared to make some huge changes in yourself, as she is certainly not going to be the one to change and become more introverted (or even ACCEPTING of introverts) just to be in a relationship with you. Her extroverted friends wouldn't allow that even if she wanted to. So you need to ask yourself: is this chick worth me making some big changes within myself to become more outgoing? Or should you perhaps try and find someone who will love you for you, introvert or not? Maybe she's worth making a change for - that's up to you. I met my girlfriend of 7 years online via wc3/dota - she's more extroverted than I am, but not to the point to where she gets upset with me if I don't go along with her to a social engagement and instead stay home. She knows who I am and won't force me to go somewhere if I don't want to go (unless it's like her grandma's birthday or something, lol). I don't think the relationship would last very long though if she was as big of an extrovert as say, my older sister. My anti-social behavior would be totally unacceptable. This may be the same case with this girl you are dating. As time goes on, she will get more and more frustrated with your not wanting to be "social". Chances are, she won't be willing to accept it or change herself, either you'll have to change or she will be gone. I would tell it to her like this though: "I'm probably not the most social person that you've ever met, but I'm trying really hard to change that just so I can be with you" or something along those lines (I think showing her this thread would be a bit much for her). Hopefully she will then be a little more patient with your lack of "social skills" and she'll understand/appreciate that you are at least trying to "improve". Maybe then you can make it work. But if you truly are an introvert, changing your introverted ways will be a horribly exhausting process for you - I wish you lots of luck. ![]() I'll avoid talking about the current situation because it's complicated and I have some friends who'll read this and I'll hear about it... But yeah I'm fully capable of being social - there's just no way I can really integrate it to my personality. | ||
rhs408
United States904 Posts
On December 22 2012 05:05 JudicatorHammurabi wrote: I am pretty extroverted, but I always enjoy time I spend alone, too. I don't know where that puts me, but I have no problem with doing either. However, I have no trouble at all talking with people, I'm not shy or intimidated, and sometimes I talk way too much lol. That said, for those in college, go Greek. ![]() Hehe... I tried that when I was in college, it didn't work out ![]() | ||
rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
On December 22 2012 03:12 Djzapz wrote: Being introverted sucks! ![]() She's extroverted too and I prefer that in a girl. But it makes us kind of incompatible I feel. Maybe. I dunno. Fuck. Feel free do PM me with all your epic wisdom. 1. You're only 23 2. Most men have "no f'ing idea how to play "the game" unless pieces just fall in line". No matter the age. 40-yo virgins are not a legend. You'll know how to play it only if you consider it a game and practice it. In other words, if you consider, like any game, that it really is not important to lose and that it is based on a die and retry basis. Oh and of course take it lightly, with fun. The biggest challenge for any man when it comes to dating is in my opinion, fear of failure. This creates fear of talking to her, fear of making a move etc... Your challenge is to shut it down. God you also have fear right now. (unless i misread) | ||
rhs408
United States904 Posts
On December 22 2012 05:17 Djzapz wrote: I'll avoid talking about the current situation because it's complicated and I have some friends who'll read this and I'll hear about it... But yeah I'm fully capable of being social - there's just no way I can really integrate it to my personality. I hear ya. I'm fully capable of being social as well - I can be a real charmer at times. But I admit I can't keep it up for long (the word "exhausting" comes to mind again). So the question is, how long can you "be social" before you run out of steam? Then ask yourself, would I be willing and able to spend a large percentage of my day bearing this "I'm social! I'm talkative! I really really am!" facade to be with this girl? I can probably think of a few hot chicks that I've come across in my life where I'd be willing to make this sacrifice if it meant I could be with them... I hope this one is worth the effort for you. ![]() | ||
HazMat
United States17077 Posts
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Badjas
Netherlands2038 Posts
Today my mom was pushing me to go socialize at the christmas drink at the company with the typical extroverts' mindset (I was having a free day for other reasons). I told her I'd rather like to be myself and ignore it. If it weren't for your thread I'd have resorted to worse and weak words. | ||
Zahir
United States947 Posts
Here's the actual problem. There are idiots (introvert and extrovert alike), and there are over sensitive types who interpret their few experiences with such people as representative of an entire society. Why is everyone so social and outgoing and not understanding of people who aren't?! The answer to that question should be obvious given a moments thought. People who aren't outgoing are less likely to express their opinions. Idiots are also more likely to express idiotic opinions. Therefore opinion in general will seem skewed, particularly if the only people you bother to meet are the few loud idiots oblivious to your highly non outgoing introvert vibe. Consider that if your introversion is the most noticeable aspect of your personality, it will often become the immediate topic of any less than tactful individual you come across, in their well meaning and blundering attempt to find some subject to break the ice. I just dislike threads like these that try to act like being introverted AND being automatically understood and accepted by everyone you come across is somehow their right. It's fine to have a personality but you do understand that introversion logically necessitates that you are less understood and accepted than someone who goes out of their way to communicate and be understood. It's not discrimination, but a natural consequence of actions. All this affirmative action passive aggressive hug box crap about educating the masses about us introverts and how special we are is twice as mindless and annoying as anything extroverts do. Edit: it's a typical introverted response to make posts like these and try to come up with some convoluted scheme about enlightening society rather than face the horror of interacting and explaining their preferences to people in their lives. | ||
Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On December 22 2012 05:26 rezoacken wrote: 1. You're only 23 2. Most men have "no f'ing idea how to play "the game" unless pieces just fall in line". No matter the age. 40-yo virgins are not a legend. You'll know how to play it only if you consider it a game and practice it. In other words, if you consider, like any game, that it really is not important to lose and that it is based on a die and retry basis. Oh and of course take it lightly, with fun. The biggest challenge for any man when it comes to dating is in my opinion, fear of failure. This creates fear of talking to her, fear of making a move etc... Your challenge is to shut it down. God you also have fear right now. (unless i misread) Well here's the thing, I wouldn't have any issue getting laid. I'm alright looking and a few beers does wonders to my social skills because I stop censoring myself. The problem is finding me a nice girl. I have no interest whatsoever in club chicks anymore. To say that I have "fear" is pushing it a bit, but yeah I'd rather not let this one go. I'm not likely to go after random girls for no reason. On December 22 2012 05:31 rhs408 wrote: I hear ya. I'm fully capable of being social as well - I can be a real charmer at times. But I admit I can't keep it up for long (the word "exhausting" comes to mind again). So the question is, how long can you "be social" before you run out of steam? Then ask yourself, would I be willing and able to spend a large percentage of my day bearing this "I'm social! I'm talkative! I really really am!" facade to be with this girl? I can probably think of a few hot chicks that I've come across in my life where I'd be willing to make this sacrifice if it meant I could be with them... I hope this one is worth the effort for you. ![]() "We'll see" seems better than to just not try =P. | ||
Doomwish
438 Posts
On December 22 2012 05:52 Zahir wrote: I don't get introverts (I am an introvert) who act as if they are some oppressed, barely understood minority. Take phrases like "American society tends to emphasize that success comes from being outgoing." American society is individualist to the point of being anti social, if we're talking about the spectrum of societies. American culture is full of tropes like the rugged, no compromises, anti hero willing to go against the grain and not make any friends doing it. We've had famous real life introverts who made a huge impact on our common psyche. From agonized or melancholic quiet types ... witness the movie Lincoln... to scores of undersocialized nerds, to where being a nerd is now neutral or even a positive label. To insinuate that a rich, storied, diverse culture is somehow biased against introverts or fails to understand them is an oversimplification. Here's the actual problem. There are idiots (introvert and extrovert alike), and there are over sensitive types who interpret their few experiences with such people as representative of an entire society. Why is everyone so social and outgoing and not understanding of people who aren't?! The answer to that question should be obvious given a moments thought. People who aren't outgoing are less likely to express their opinions. Idiots are also more likely to express idiotic opinions. Therefore opinion in general will seem skewed, particularly if the only people you bother to meet are the few loud idiots oblivious to your highly non outgoing introvert vibe. Consider that if your introversion is the most noticeable aspect of your personality, it will often become the immediate topic of any less than tactful individual you come across, in their well meaning and blundering attempt to find some subject to break the ice. I just dislike threads like these that try to act like being introverted AND being automatically understood and accepted by everyone you come across is somehow their right. It's fine to have a personality but you do understand that introversion logically necessitates that you are less understood and accepted than someone who goes out of their way to communicate and be understood. It's not discrimination, but a natural consequence of actions. All this affirmative action passive aggressive hug box crap about educating the masses about us introverts and how special we are is twice as mindless and annoying as anything extroverts do. Edit: it's a typical introverted response to make posts like these and try to come up with some convoluted scheme about enlightening society rather than face the horror of interacting and explaining their preferences to people in their lives. Did you ever go to public school or hold a job with the public? I do not find American culture or political ideals to really lend themselves at all to being accepting of introverts, the prevailing idea is that if you are introverted THEN SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU. People saying this thread is all about superiority complexes are way too defensive. Both being an introvert and extrovert have their faults/advantages. Some of the posts may sound pretentious but its more of a backlash/pushback against the stigma that prevails in society that being introverted is a bad thing and pressures you to be an extrovert at all costs or fail, this is the experience I have had in life in western culture anyway. I am often pressured by people to be more outgoing and if I decline an invitation to some seedy-ass bar with new co-workers they see me as an outcast-just because I don't enjoy being in crowds of drunk people. I certainly am not vain enough to consider myself above a socially outgoing person(my best friend is very outgoing), but I find the more people involved in an average social interaction the more dumbed-down it becomes. To me it feels like the interaction often devolves into an alpha/beta type environment where the discussion becomes petty and low brow, the original points of conversation are lost and it merely becomes a struggle to assert dominance or be right amid competition as a sort of pack mentality. Often times the quiet person in this scenario is made out to be a patsy and set upon like an outcast in a pack of wolves. Whereas when you are in a 1 on 1 conversation it is much more fulfilling IMHO because each person is more likely to say what they feel/truly think with no petty social implications or distractions on their mind. Anyway, the point I think the OP is making is that trying to be an extrovert just for the sake of being outgoing is misguided. | ||
57 Corvette
Canada5941 Posts
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dUTtrOACh
Canada2339 Posts
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
On December 22 2012 06:23 Djzapz wrote: Well here's the thing, I wouldn't have any issue getting laid. I'm alright looking and a few beers does wonders to my social skills because I stop censoring myself. The problem is finding me a nice girl. I have no interest whatsoever in club chicks anymore. To say that I have "fear" is pushing it a bit, but yeah I'd rather not let this one go. I'm not likely to go after random girls for no reason. Nobody talked about club chicks or "getting laid". You want a girl for a strong relationship ? Alright that's 100% fine. But how do you expect to find one if you're so focused on a single one and don't "play the game" as you put it ? About that girl, where are you at with her that you seem to think its so worth it ? | ||
decaf
Austria1797 Posts
I also usually score ~140 on IQ tests, what do I win? >inb4 everyone has an IQ of 140 >inb4 IQ doesn't mean anything >implying that makes me any less superior | ||
Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On December 22 2012 06:45 rezoacken wrote: Nobody talked about club chicks or "getting laid". You want a girl for a strong relationship ? Alright that's 100% fine. But how do you expect to find one if you're so focused on a single one and don't "play the game" as you put it ? About that girl, where are you at with her that you seem to think its so worth it ? Well I know but 40 year old virgins were mentioned as if this had something to do with sex but it really doesn't. And I guess I have particularly narrow horizons, I'm not going to use the shotgun tactic anytime ever. Just trying to get close to this one girl who apparently has the rep of being pretty hard to get. I don't know if that means it's not "the game" but yeah... | ||
OneBk
Sweden157 Posts
![]() Thank you Barrin for my 100% selfasteam buff. <3 | ||
E.L.V.I.S
Belgium458 Posts
(it says I am ISTP with those % : Introvert(89%) Sensing(1%) Thinking(12%) Perceiving(22)%) | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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All.In
United States214 Posts
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Iplaythings
Denmark9110 Posts
On December 22 2012 05:37 HazMat wrote: Jesus christ this is the biggest circlejerk of people with superiority complexes since Reddit. Becoming insecure because someone is raising awareness on something that you obviously disagree on while pep talking themselves a little? Controversial things needs to be a bit biased otherwise people won't get it Did someone just delete the post I responded to? | ||
megapants
United States1314 Posts
i'm a 20 year old male (21 in march) who has been introverted since forever! as someone once put it, i often "lie in bed and flirt with myself." at the beginning of 2012 i started a journal which i finished near the end of july (~310 pages) and am widdling through the next one. if you are reading this thread and you don't keep a journal or document your thoughts in some way, you are missing out! not only did it make my thoughts feel tangible but it is a great way to see how your thoughts grow over time. i wish now that i had kept journals when i was like 10 or something so i could read them today. the only thing i disliked about the journal was how slow my handwriting was compared to my thoughts. if this is a hassle for you as well, you can try recording your voice or doing a video diary, or simply type it out in word or on in the blog section if you feel comfortable sharing. even though i get a little frustrated with the pacing, i find it difficult to keep track of digital stuff so i'm gonna stick to the good ol' pen and paper. On December 22 2012 06:54 decaf wrote: Introvert(78%) iNtuitive(50%) Thinking(88%) Judging(78%) I also usually score ~140 on IQ tests, what do I win? >inb4 everyone has an IQ of 140 >inb4 IQ doesn't mean anything >implying that makes me any less superior the only reason anyone would say any of those things is because what you said doesn't really have any potential for discussion; calling you out on those things is the only way to extract a subject matter out of your post. sure, your stats are nice but what does that matter to me? i don't think this is a "who is the BEST/MOST introverted person here?" type of thread. someone said a earlier that this is just a circle-jerk of people with superiority complexes and i don't think that was the point that barrin was trying to make at all. it only has to be that way if you step in and try and be better than the other people who are just trying to have a conversation. | ||
Grend
1600 Posts
But I think I have become more extroverted over time, or at least good at handling boring social situations. I also really enjoy the company of extremely extroverted people so I do not know. And thanks for the OP Barrin, it was good and informative and learned me a new concept, or at least put a lot more meaning into the word introverted for me. I`m INTJ aswell. | ||
AUGcodon
Canada536 Posts
This brings me to my next point, you are right that you have to right to walk away from people that annoy you. The problems is that life is not that simple. your co-workers could be the annoying ones and you are not in a position to really walk away. You need to relate to them up to a point where they don't feel discomforted by talking to you. Even if you believe the other party said something trite and pointless, you shouldn't act dismissive. This is a kind of social skill that does not come easily to everyone. But the point is that this is a skill that can be practiced. What I am afraid is that in this discussion, people become too focused on being "proud" of introverted. The fact they come to peace with being introverted does not give them an excuse to not pick up social skills. | ||
Crissaegrim
2947 Posts
On December 21 2012 10:50 Grumbels wrote: Barrin strikes me as the kind of person who has a beard and ponders about the relative value of Buddhism. Barrin does have a beard. As proof, I have posted his pic in the spoiler below: + Show Spoiler + ![]() | ||
McBengt
Sweden1684 Posts
On December 22 2012 03:30 cam connor wrote: Man so many introverts have this really convoluted superiority complex It's pretty laughable It's not a sense of superiority, it's a sense of annoyance at constantly being told, directly or surreptitiously, that wouldn't it be better if you would just go out and have fun and meet people and blah blah blah. It's being constantly nudged into believing that only by pretending to be something you're not can you be happy and successful. It's the thinly veiled arrogance and condescension of ignorant boneheads whose only measurement of social skills is how loud and verbose you can be, it grates on one's patience eventually. | ||
Crumpet
United States137 Posts
On December 22 2012 08:00 McBengt wrote: It's not a sense of superiority, it's a sense of annoyance at constantly being told, directly or surreptitiously, that wouldn't it be better if you would just go out and have fun and meet people and blah blah blah. It's being constantly nudged into believing that only by pretending to be something you're not can you be happy and successful. It's the thinly veiled arrogance and condescension of ignorant boneheads whose only measurement of social skills is how loud and verbose you can be, it grates on one's patience eventually. Yeah, get annoyed at the people who tell you that to attempt to help you improve your life. I am an introvert. I make myself socialize. It becomes a huge factor in life. It can be the difference between getting what you want out of both life and work, and getting nothing. It's not about pretending to do anything. It's about making connections to the people around you. Generalizing either side, introvert or extrovert, is not cool. | ||
shinosai
United States1577 Posts
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AUGcodon
Canada536 Posts
On December 22 2012 08:00 McBengt wrote: It's not a sense of superiority, it's a sense of annoyance at constantly being told, directly or surreptitiously, that wouldn't it be better if you would just go out and have fun and meet people and blah blah blah. It's being constantly nudged into believing that only by pretending to be something you're not can you be happy and successful. It's the thinly veiled arrogance and condescension of ignorant boneheads whose only measurement of social skills is how loud and verbose you can be, it grates on one's patience eventually. Okay, this was what I was talking about earlier. You are talking about pretending as if something that betrays your sense of innerself. If you really think that way fine, but reality dosen't conform to your expectations. It's about understanding that interpersonal relations is a survival skill. The world does not give a fuck about how you feel if I want to be harsh about it. Learning to smile even if you feel like shit is just something you have to learn. Even if you think another person is a "vapid bonehead", you better be able to keep that thought to your head. And be able to put on a big fucking smile and shake his hand if the situation demands it. | ||
McBengt
Sweden1684 Posts
On December 22 2012 08:12 Crumpet wrote: Yeah, get annoyed at the people who tell you that to attempt to help you improve your life. I am an introvert. I make myself socialize. It becomes a huge factor in life. It can be the difference between getting what you want out of both life and work, and getting nothing. It's not about pretending to do anything. It's about making connections to the people around you. Generalizing either side, introvert or extrovert, is not cool. The arrogance is astounding, you are either dense or wilfully obtuse. Has it ever occured to you that getting what you want out of life may not be the same for you as it is for other people? That maybe making yourself socialize, while gratifying for you, would only be an excercise in frustration and exasperation for others? That making connections holds absolutely no interest for some people who are not you? This is the very essence of pretending to be someone else. If it's not even desirable in the first place, it's not an improvement. Stop assuming that the your model of an ideal life is a one size fits all. | ||
shinosai
United States1577 Posts
On December 22 2012 08:25 AUGcodon wrote: Okay, this was what I was talking about earlier. You are talking about pretending as if something that betrays your sense of innerself. If you really think that way fine, but reality dosen't conform to your expectations. It's about understanding that interpersonal relations is a survival skill. The world does not give a fuck about how you feel if I want to be harsh about it. Learning to smile even if you feel like shit is just something you have to learn. Even if you think another person is a "vapid bonehead", you better be able to keep that thought to your head. And be able to put on a big fucking smile and shake his hand if the situation demands it. You can have interpersonal relations without pretending to be extroverted. It's really not hard. At all. In fact, everyone knows how to fake personal interactions in order to get what they want. That's what we call job interviews. We all have skills at interpersonal relations. Sometimes, we choose not to act on them. Want to know some reasons? Here's one: I've calculated that talking to you will not add anything to my life. | ||
Crumpet
United States137 Posts
On December 22 2012 08:26 McBengt wrote: The arrogance is astounding, you are either dense or wilfully obtuse. Has it ever occured to you that getting what you want out of life may not be the same for you as it is for other people? That maybe making yourself socialize, while gratifying for you, would only be an excercise in frustration and exasperation for others? That making connections holds absolutely no interest for some people who are not you? This is the very essence of pretending to be someone else. If it's not even desirable in the first place, it's not an improvement. Stop assuming that the your model of an ideal life is a one size fits all. Has nothing to do with my model of an ideal life. It's about presenting you with the tools so that, whatever your ideal may be, you can obtain it. In on way or another, the majority of the time social skills are required to obtain at least some piece of what you want. If you want to feel attacked and persecuted, that's up to you. My point, however,remains valid. | ||
McBengt
Sweden1684 Posts
On December 22 2012 08:25 AUGcodon wrote: Okay, this was what I was talking about earlier. You are talking about pretending as if something that betrays your sense of innerself. If you really think that way fine, but reality dosen't conform to your expectations. It's about understanding that interpersonal relations is a survival skill. The world does not give a fuck about how you feel if I want to be harsh about it. Learning to smile even if you feel like shit is just something you have to learn. Even if you think another person is a "vapid bonehead", you better be able to keep that thought to your head. And be able to put on a big fucking smile and shake his hand if the situation demands it. Interacting with people in a professional capacity is vastly different, you are acting as a representative of your employer, not as yourself. Professional courtesy is a must, certainly, but it's an extremely easy skill to master. More often than not, you don't even have to smile, just be polite and accomodating. I'm perfectly capable of dealing with people I don't like when I am in a professional environment, it's a means to an end, I don't expect to enjoy it. I'm in law school atm, so I have some experience from attending trials and hearings. This is about society pushing an idea that you can never be truly happy unless you conform to the ideal of an aggressively outgoing and tirelessly interactive person. And I resent that. | ||
McBengt
Sweden1684 Posts
On December 22 2012 08:32 Crumpet wrote: Has nothing to do with my model of an ideal life. It's about presenting you with the tools so that, whatever your ideal may be, you can obtain it. In on way or another, the majority of the time social skills are required to obtain at least some piece of what you want. If you want to feel attacked and persecuted, that's up to you. My point, however,remains valid. I'm glad you think your point is still valid, because I have yet to see it. How would you know what I want? How would you know what skills are required to attain it? How would you know what tools I deem useful or necessary? Again, an assumption that because you want something that hinges on specific social skills, others do too. You are mistaken. | ||
AUGcodon
Canada536 Posts
On December 22 2012 08:29 shinosai wrote: You can have interpersonal relations without pretending to be extroverted. It's really not hard. At all. In fact, everyone knows how to fake personal interactions in order to get what they want. That's what we call job interviews. We all have skills at interpersonal relations. Sometimes, we choose not to act on them. Want to know some reasons? Here's one: I've calculated that talking to you will not add anything to my life. I guess my point was for introverted people with poor social skills. Personally, I really had to force myself to pick up interpersonal skills over time. It's not that necessarily I enjoy it, but I know I need for the direction my career is going. I just feel this is a lesson that is best learned early in life. One really important thing I picked up over time was to convince people to follow my idea by making them think it was their own idea. I feel this task is very difficult without a sense of personal bond between the two parties. | ||
sc4k
United Kingdom5454 Posts
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Crumpet
United States137 Posts
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McBengt
Sweden1684 Posts
On December 22 2012 08:43 Crumpet wrote: What you deem necessary, and what is necessary, may or may not be the same thing. I never claimed to know what you want. I'm glad you have enough confidence in yourself that you automatically know that you are right and I am wrong, when you yourself admit you are too dense to see my point. Whatever man. It seems you are not in the mood for a discussion of alternate views on life. You prefer to argue. Over the internet. Good luck with that. Funny, as I was trying to make you grasp the idea of an alternate view of life that you seem incapable of understanding. I claimed that you were mistaken because I believe you are. I could be wrong. How about some concrete examples then? What is your point exactly here? Define how an outgoing social skillset is needed for most things one could want in life, and why one would want them, and why they would be mandatory. | ||
TheSwedishFan
Sweden608 Posts
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Mstring
Australia510 Posts
The alternative is to bend and flex, to deny your preferences to "get what you want". Thing is, "what you want" is really "what you think you want" (how do you know you want that job? you've never experienced what it's like to have it, only imagined) and as such the idea of striving for any less than utter authenticity (honest expression of preference) is insane. 'Fake it till you make it' can't guarantee you 'make it': 'it' simply does not exist in reality, only as a fabrication of the mind. | ||
AUGcodon
Canada536 Posts
On December 22 2012 08:50 McBengt wrote: Funny, as I was trying to make you grasp the idea of an alternate view of life that you seem incapable of understanding. I claimed that you were mistaken because I believe you are. I could be wrong. How about some concrete examples then? What is your point exactly here? Define how an outgoing social skillset is needed for most things one could want in life, and why one would want them, and why they would be mandatory. Let's take a hypothetical example. You and another lawyer have the same capability and you are both competing. Let's take some clients from all walk of life. some rich, some poor, some honorable, some desperate, some terrible. Do you have the confidence that you can convince them that McBengt J.D really gets me. He understands my values, he knows where I am coming from, he has a cute anecdote that I genuinely laughed at. Does he really "get" me? I only met a few people that could do this sort of things. I personally think this sort of skill does not arise unless you have a strong sense of empathy. And Im not really sure how empathetic you are if you despise the common man. I guess I only focus on the professional part of life because for the most part I agree with you on the personal life. If you really don't like interacting with some people, it's your life go for it. | ||
BleaK_
Norway593 Posts
![]() Sometimes I like to be alone, reading, thinking, playing music. Sometimes I feel like to go out and have a huge party, be social and meet lots of new people. I feel that I like to be alone on the usual day to day, but when somethings comes up, like a birthday or new years party, I am really looking forward to seeing alot of friends and have a good time with alot of people. I don't think I belong to camp, and maybe the split between introvert and extrovert is a bit too focused in splitting humans into categories, while we can have alot of both of the worlds. | ||
Tanukki
Finland579 Posts
It's a very introvert-friendly means of communication, so I'm not suprised TL forums have a disproportionately large representation of introverts compared to the whole world, or even a "fast" board like Reddit. In the real world introverts are very much a minority, and being misunderstood and pressured to conform are real issues. Good topic. | ||
McBengt
Sweden1684 Posts
On December 22 2012 09:09 AUGcodon wrote: Let's take a hypothetical example. You and another lawyer have the same capability and you are both competing. Let's take some clients from all walk of life. some rich, some poor, some honorable, some desperate, some terrible. Do you have the confidence that you can convince them that McBengt J.D really gets me. He understands my values, he knows where I am coming from, he has a cute anecdote that I genuinely laughed at. Does he really "get" me? I only met a few people that could do this sort of things. I personally think this sort of skill does not arise unless you have a strong sense of empathy. And Im not really sure how empathetic you are if you despise the common man. I guess I only focus on the professional part of life because for the most part I agree with you on the personal life. If you really don't like interacting with some people, it's your life go for it. In that case this seems like a major misunderstanding, as I stated earlier that I have no problems with professional courtesy and providing a service my employer pays me to provide. When I'm at work, I'm not me in the general sense of the word, I'm employee number X and I'm cool with that. As for your example, sure, an attitude like that could help, but I genuinely believe that simply being professional, polite and accomodating will be enough in the vast majority of cases as long as you are reasonably competent. I don't mind if my doctor is quiet and reserved as long as he/she can help me. And I didn't say I despise common people, I said I despise stupidity and superficial interaction. I'd argue there is a clear distinction. | ||
Deleuze
United Kingdom2102 Posts
I find people attempting to eulogize and appropriate historical figures into their personality type deeply egotistical. I don't know why people are draw to this kind of reinforcement in this way. If this works for you that's great of course, I'm heavily introverted in my approach to life, but I don't need a test to tell me this nor a psychological theory to enable me to cope with my personality. Sorry, Xmas is here and I'm feeling cynical. | ||
Grumbels
Netherlands7028 Posts
To be honest, as someone with real social problems, all the celebratory posts here where people proudly proclaim their newly discovered introversion are kind of offensive to me. And I think such posts are a natural consequence of the way Barrin framed his OP, it's a lot like he is proselyting about the awesomeness of the introvert label, how it can empower you etc. (you are a master strategic planner!) Furthermore, it's also useless. To the person that pondered about whether he was a INFP or a INFJ, who cares? It's not going to change anything about you, it is not informative, it doesn't predict anything, it's not going to tell you anything about yourself that you don't already know. It's just searching for a peer-approved label. Social problems = social problems, it's not special snowflakeness that makes you super awesome. You can work on it like anyone else or you can tell that you shouldn't be expected to have social skills because of your introverted nature. | ||
Deleuze
United Kingdom2102 Posts
On December 22 2012 03:32 Barrin wrote: So many extroverts just say whatever that comes to their mind without thinking. It's pretty annoying. Hahahah that is perfect. | ||
ampson
United States2355 Posts
I also don't get why you feel like introverts are seen as less valuable by society. Your "problem" is that being outgoing and having social successes is considered to be a good thing by society. That's not a problem at all. Why should we think that social situations are a bad thing? Nobody can help the fact that someone who is insecure with themselves might feel pressured to do what other people do. That's just something that people have to live with and get over, and I suppose that kind of person can be helped by all this introvert pride stuff in the OP. The OP is certainly useful at addressing the problem, but that problem lies within someone who is not self-assured enough to not do what extroverts want to do. Society can't help that. And you may not realize it, but some of those videos/interviews reek of condescension. | ||
dUTtrOACh
Canada2339 Posts
Nice one. I didn't catch it, but it pretty much summarizes the entire thread. | ||
BuuurN
United States60 Posts
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
This seems to fit, being strongly on the rational/scientific side for N and T, and in the middle for E/I since I'm confortable speaking and in social interaction but I don't really seek them actively. | ||
Froadac
United States6733 Posts
Although at times introverts are looked down upon for their quietness, the OP seems to look down upon extroverts for what the OP seems to deem an excess of thoughtless words. While I do acknowledge that in general there would be more discrimination/negative thoughts regarding introverts due to the ratios of these personality types in society, the OP seems to put Introverts on a pedestal at the expense of extroverts. I never thought that one group had more or less potential than the other, and hence the first post seems to be a sort of condescending attack on extroverts. Extroverts and introverts have potential in different ways. Introverts can learn to excel in the social sphere, and extroverts can learn to excel at internal thinking, and I do not think that the gross compartmentalization of these groups will resolve problems. | ||
TheBigO
United States97 Posts
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glabius
46 Posts
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk. This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days. They hate small talk, as in small talk is sooo unimportant and completely shallow. Yes, it kind of is, but its just sometimes how people interact with each other when they don't know each other too well. THIS IS HOW YOU MEET PEOPLE AND MAYBE MAKE FRIENDS. Holy shit, I hate small talk too, and I'm extroverted, I just do it because this is how people interact. I think what a more justified way to say this would be something like: Introverts in general tend not to socialize in a small talk format as much as extroverts, bam. Now you dispell the myth, but without the condescending attitude. Myth #2 – Introverts are shy. Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite. Don't really have a problem with this statement, but you make it seem like its the extroverts duty to please the introvert to be friends with them. I mean, it does go both ways, but yeah in general you'll find an extrovert will start the conversation.. which isn't necessarily bad. Myth #3 – Introverts are rude. Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting. This is the myth bust that might be the most condescending. Don't like beating around the bush with social pleasantries? This is just how people that don't know each other too well interact. You're saying that the way most of society interacts is shallow, no, its just the way it is. "They want everyone to be real and honest" - So you're saying no one is real and honest except introverts? I beg to differ and might suggest that how real and honest someone is has NOTHING to do with their alignment with introvert or extrovert Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people. On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in. So basically only Introverts can understand who a true friend is, and extroverts don't value their true friends. I know this isn't what you're trying to say, but that's basically what it sounds like Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public. Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts. No problem with this explanation Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone. Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time. Good explanation, but I think you're trying to speak for too many introverts. I have a lot of introverted friends and they like to socialize too, they aren't always quiet, and they yes crave and authentic and sincere connection with one person, but so do extroverts.. Myth #7 – Introverts are weird. Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy. LOL. You subscribe to jungian theory and you're trying to put introverts all in a category of having a novel way of living and thinking differently or for themselves. Guess what, a lot of people think for themselves and challenge the norm DESPITE their affiliation with introvert or extrovert, this literally has nothing at all to do with it. In fact, since you subscribe to jungian theory let me show you something ENTP - Ne, Ti, Fe, Si INTP - Ti, Ne, Si, Fe An INTP and ENTP are quite similar relatively except the order of their functions. ENTP has Ne, first, and Si last. Guess what makes the most rebellious people -------- Ne and a low Si. For an INTP they follow Ne Second and Si third compared to ENTP. This is ironic because arguably an ENTP is much more rebellious and against the norm. (Anecdotal source, I am ENTP and one of my best friends is INTP, I am definitely much more ready to rebel while he will sometimes go with the norms more than i will. Not only is your explanation completely wrong logically, it is disingenuous to all extroverts and tries to put them in a box of "conformists." Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds. Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them. No problem with this statement Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun. Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up. Not really that bad of a statement, but still almost completely wrong. I have a really good ISTP friend who is one of the BIGGEST thrill seekers I know. Furthermore my INFP and INTP friend are also big thrill seekers but in different ways entirely. Introverts and extroverts literally have no reason to be more ready to be thrill seekers than their extroverted counterparts. Maybe introverts are in generally less thrill seeking in meeting people, but still, not really. Not only is this negative towards extroverts, the statement tries to put introverts in a box where they aren't fun thrill seeking people. Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts. A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ. So, introverts are smarter than extroverts and they are the only ones that can be scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers? You're asking everyone to stop generalizing introverts and saying negative things towards them when you are doing THE EXACT SAME THING FOR EXTROVERTS. According to OP: 1. Extroverts are shallow, introverts are more genuine. 2. Extroverts are social conformists where as introverts follow their own path. 3. Extroverts engage in small talk which is completely terrible. 4. Extroverts don't value their real friends. 5. Introverts are never thrill seekers and are open to new stimuli 6. Introverts are smarter on the IQ scale 7. Extroverts are not as capable as introverts at some highly respected careers (scientist, mathematical, artists) 8. Extroverts are completely 100% responsible for interacting with introverts, and if introverts aren't social its usually the extroverts fault. OP: tl;dr introverts rock according to my psuedo science and extroverts are sucky shallow people go introverts. | ||
Unshapely
140 Posts
On December 22 2012 10:49 Froadac wrote: I sort of dislike this thread. When I take these tests I identify as ENTP, but realistically, the online tests are notoriously inaccurate. I definitely do get energy from interaction, but do value thought. When I am dealing with people in a context where accuracy of language and well thought out comments are necessary, I'll think it through, but when a much less formal atmosphere I will adapt and be loud/say random stuff. Although at times introverts are looked down upon for their quietness, the OP seems to look down upon extroverts for what the OP seems to deem an excess of thoughtless words. While I do acknowledge that in general there would be more discrimination/negative thoughts regarding introverts due to the ratios of these personality types in society, the OP seems to put Introverts on a pedestal at the expense of extroverts. I never thought that one group had more or less potential than the other, and hence the first post seems to be a sort of condescending attack on extroverts. Extroverts and introverts have potential in different ways. Introverts can learn to excel in the social sphere, and extroverts can learn to excel at internal thinking, and I do not think that the gross compartmentalization of these groups will resolve problems. Indeed. The distinction betwixt an extrovert and introvert cannot be ever accurately judged because people change at various points in life. I was mostly an introvert at a younger age. I still abstain from pointless discussions and conversations and value true insight rather than a conjecture based on emotion alone. However, I believe I was better able to command people into my rail of reasoning as I grew. Now, it is part of my job to interact with many people and present my ideas. Therefore, I am not an introvert in the traditional sense, and yet I cannot be classified as a true extrovert either. The initiator of this thread's terminology, `ambivert' might apply - perhaps leaning more towards the qualities of introversion discussed herein. Briefly: A human changes in various stages of life. The dictionary meaning of both the words -- introvert and extrovert cannot accurately describe any person today. The train of thought shifts it's track - no longer following the original one. Edit: Does anyone else think that I tend to write in archaic English? I never realised. | ||
Cheerio
Ukraine3178 Posts
On December 22 2012 09:54 ampson wrote: First off, that is a terribly obnoxious way to format the first post. A line between each quote and famous introvert? You could at least have spoilered that stuff and made it easier to read. It's a nice post detailing a certain type of personality according to a certain person, but I feel like it is promoting the use of creating a label for oneself to better your self esteem. Nobody needs to know that they're a (insert 4 letters here) and that they have all of the traits that somebody says that personality type has and that that makes them a special snowflake. I like to keep people out of boxes and take them for what they are. I'm sure that everyone has qualities from every "personality type" and just because someone is an INTJ doesn't mean they are a "Silent leader." I also don't get why you feel like introverts are seen as less valuable by society. Your "problem" is that being outgoing and having social successes is considered to be a good thing by society. That's not a problem at all. Why should we think that social situations are a bad thing? Nobody can help the fact that someone who is insecure with themselves might feel pressured to do what other people do. That's just something that people have to live with and get over, and I suppose that kind of person can be helped by all this introvert pride stuff in the OP. The OP is certainly useful at addressing the problem, but that problem lies within someone who is not self-assured enough to not do what extroverts want to do. Society can't help that. And you may not realize it, but some of those videos/interviews reek of condescension. Are you saying that introverts want to be extroverts but cant due to some kind of inferiority complex? | ||
ampson
United States2355 Posts
On December 22 2012 12:16 Cheerio wrote: Are you saying that introverts want to be extroverts but cant due to some kind of inferiority complex? I'm saying that introverts who lack confidence in themselves will imitate extroverts, because extroverts are naturally more visible in social situations. According to the OP, this is a problem. But as I said, it isn't society's problem. | ||
Griffins
United States98 Posts
I used to be strongly INFP in high school, but retaking the tests today I kept getting INTJ, with slight preferences in the thinking/judging. I wonder if this means I've matured some or have just mellowed out. After all, INFPs are supposedly 'the dreamers' or 'the idealists'. The things that haven't changed are the 25% preference for intuition and 89% introversion (lol). More on topic: As a teenager, I used to be intensely introverted and avoided conversation, but I don't anymore. I'm still introverted but I don't have problems talking to people. I just don't find a lot of conversation to be as worthwhile as say, a good book. Anyway, people change. You will adapt because you have to. I find that there's nothing wrong with introversion, or extroversion. You will need both along the way. | ||
MetalPanda
Canada1152 Posts
On December 21 2012 08:56 Barrin wrote: hihihi :> I am Barrin and I'm highly Introverted. The tests (and extensive introspection/research) tell me I am INTJ which is the most introverted and one of the rarest of the 16 personality types. I think most introverts would be the first to tell you that there are greater problems in the world than ours. Nevertheless, I would like to testify that we do indeed have often debilitating problems that are both unnecessary and avoidable. In introverted fashion I'd rather not detail my own problems and history.. but I have been running (if you could call it that) on very low 'energy' for far too long now. Thankfully after learning what it took to make this my confidence has skyrocketed and my resolve is solid; I'm finally getting the cold certainty (borderline arrogance) characteristic of INTJ's. Anyways, some parts from three sites I listed earlier (keirsey.com, personalitypage.com, and typelogic.com) do an interestingly good job of explaining large parts of who I am. It's like some one-time freakishly accurate & reasonably detailed horoscope. If you're not already tired with this stuff ^^, [an extrovert?] might find it a an interesting exercise to test their iNtuition and/or Feeling by taking what they know about me(*) and trying to figure out why I think the following bolded parts apply to me. Thorough self-reflection is a highly introverted activity, but that I actually express it is distinctly extroverted. * = + Show Spoiler + On TL I'm known for being a banling, making maps, creating mapping theories (Circle Syndrome), promoting a brighter future for SC2 (FRB), and I suppose my creation here is right in front of you. I'm definitely Introverted. I mainly rely on iNtuition but Sensing is still second nature when I need it. A Feeling tendency didn't help me (or anyone) much when I was younger, so I've been driven to adopt Thinking which is now a little dominant. I carefully plan and am often decisive with Judging until the really big questions where I prefer to be flexible & open like a Perceiver. My inner INTJ: + Show Spoiler + ... Complex operations involve many steps or stages, one following another in a necessary progression, and Masterminds are naturally able to grasp how each one leads to the next, and to prepare alternatives for difficulties that are likely to arise any step of the way. Trying to anticipate every contingency, Masterminds never set off on their current project without a Plan A firmly in mind, but they are always prepared to switch to Plan B or C or D if need be. ... Although they are highly capable leaders, Masterminds are not at all eager to take command, preferring to stay in the background until others demonstrate their inability to lead. Once they take charge, however, they are thoroughgoing pragmatists. ... Problem-solving is highly stimulating to Masterminds, who love responding to tangled systems that require careful sorting out. ... they are more interested in moving an organization forward than dwelling on mistakes of the past. ... Masterminds tend to be much more definite and self-confident than other Rationals, having usually developed a very strong will. Decisions come easily to them; in fact, they can hardly rest until they have things settled and decided. But before they decide anything, they must do the research. Masterminds are highly theoretical, but they insist on looking at all available data before they embrace an idea, and they are suspicious of any statement that is based on shoddy research, or that is not checked against reality. INTJs live in the world of ideas and strategic planning. They value intelligence, knowledge, and competence, and typically have high standards in these regards, which they continuously strive to fulfill. To a somewhat lesser extent, they have similar expectations of others. ... They are tremendously insightful and usually are very quick to understand new ideas. ... The internal form of the INTJ's thoughts and concepts is highly individualized, and is not readily translatable into a form that others will understand. However, the INTJ is driven to translate their ideas into a plan or system that is usually readily explainable, rather than to do a direct translation of their thoughts. They usually don't see the value of a direct transaction, and will also have difficulty expressing their ideas, which are non-linear. However, their extreme respect of knowledge and intelligence will motivate them to explain themselves to another person who they feel is deserving of the effort. ... INTJs are natural leaders, although they usually choose to remain in the background until they see a real need to take over the lead. When they are in leadership roles, they are quite effective, because they are able to objectively see the reality of a situation, and are adaptable enough to change things which aren't working well. They are the supreme strategists - always scanning available ideas and concepts and weighing them against their current strategy, to plan for every conceivable contingency. ... The INTJ's interest in dealing with the world is to make decisions, express judgments, and put everything that they encounter into an understandable and rational system. Consequently, they are quick to express judgments. Often they have very evolved intuitions, and are convinced that they are right about things. ... INTJs are ambitious, self-confident, deliberate, long-range thinkers. ... Other people may have a difficult time understanding an INTJ. They may see them as aloof and reserved. Indeed, the INTJ is not overly demonstrative of their affections, and is likely to not give as much praise or positive support as others may need or desire. That doesn't mean that he or she doesn't truly have affection or regard for others, they simply do not typically feel the need to express it. ... INTJs have a tremendous amount of ability to accomplish great things. They have insight into the Big Picture, and are driven to synthesize their concepts into solid plans of action. Their reasoning skills gives them the means to accomplish that. INTJs are most always highly competent people, and will not have a problem meeting their career or education goals. They have the capability to make great strides in these arenas. On a personal level, the INTJ who practices tolerances and puts effort into effectively communicating their insights to others has everything in his or her power to lead a rich and rewarding life. To outsiders, INTJs may appear to project an aura of "definiteness", of self-confidence. This self-confidence, sometimes mistaken for simple arrogance by the less decisive, is actually of a very specific rather than a general nature; its source lies in the specialized knowledge systems that most INTJs start building at an early age. When it comes to their own areas of expertise -- and INTJs can have several -- they will be able to tell you almost immediately whether or not they can help you, and if so, how. INTJs know what they know, and perhaps still more importantly, they know what they don't know. INTJs are perfectionists, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest. What prevents them from becoming chronically bogged down in this pursuit of perfection is the pragmatism so characteristic of the type: INTJs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion "Does it work?" to everything from their own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. ... INTJs are known as the "Systems Builders" of the types, perhaps in part because they possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability. Whatever system an INTJ happens to be working on is for them the equivalent of a moral cause to an INFJ. ... Anyone considered to be "slacking," including superiors, will lose their respect -- and will generally be made aware of this. ... On the other hand, they do tend to be scrupulous and even-handed about recognizing the individual contributions that have gone into a project, and have a gift for seizing opportunities which others might not even notice. ... To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. :-) This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete', paralleling that of many Fs. ... source: http://typelogic.com/intj.html My inner INTP: + Show Spoiler + Architects need not be thought of as only interested in drawing blueprints for buildings or roads or bridges. They are the master designers of all kinds of theoretical systems, including school curricula, corporate strategies, and new technologies. For Architects, the world exists primarily to be analyzed, understood, explained - and re-designed. External reality in itself is unimportant, little more than raw material to be organized into structural models. What is important for Architects is that they grasp fundamental principles and natural laws, and that their designs are elegant, that is, efficient and coherent. Architects are rare - maybe one percent of the population - and show the greatest precision in thought and speech of all the types. They tend to see distinctions and inconsistencies instantaneously, and can detect contradictions no matter when or where they were made. It is difficult for an Architect to listen to nonsense, even in a casual conversation, without pointing out the speaker's error. And in any serious discussion or debate Architects are devastating, their skill in framing arguments giving them an enormous advantage. Architects regard all discussions as a search for understanding, and believe their function is to eliminate inconsistencies, which can make communication with them an uncomfortable experience for many. Architects are driven to find the most efficient means to their ends, and they will learn in any manner and degree they can. They will listen to amateurs if their ideas are useful, and will ignore the experts if theirs are not. Authority derived from office, credential, or celebrity does not impress them. Architects are interested only in what make sense, and thus only statements that are consistent and coherent carry any weight with them. Architects often seem difficult to know. They are inclined to be shy except with close friends, and their reserve is difficult to penetrate. Able to concentrate better than any other type, they prefer to work quietly at their computers or drafting tables, and often alone. Architects also become obsessed with analysis, and this can seem to shut others out. Once caught up in a thought process, Architects close off and persevere until they comprehend the issue in all its complexity. Architects prize intelligence, and with their grand desire to grasp the structure of the universe, they can seem arrogant and may show impatience with others who have less ability, or who are less driven. ... INTPs live in the world of theoretical possibilities. They see everything in terms of how it could be improved, or what it could be turned into. They live primarily inside their own minds, having the ability to analyze difficult problems, identify patterns, and come up with logical explanations. They seek clarity in everything, and are therefore driven to build knowledge. They are the "absent-minded professors", who highly value intelligence and the ability to apply logic to theories to find solutions. They typically are so strongly driven to turn problems into logical explanations, that they live much of their lives within their own heads, and may not place as much importance or value on the external world. Their natural drive to turn theories into concrete understanding may turn into a feeling of personal responsibility to solve theoretical problems, and help society move towards a higher understanding. INTPs value knowledge above all else. Their minds are constantly working to generate new theories, or to prove or disprove existing theories. They approach problems and theories with enthusiasm and skepticism, ignoring existing rules and opinions and defining their own approach to the resolution. They seek patterns and logical explanations for anything that interests them. They're usually extremely bright, and able to be objectively critical in their analysis. They love new ideas, and become very excited over abstractions and theories. They love to discuss these concepts with others. They may seem "dreamy" and distant to others, because they spend a lot of time inside their minds musing over theories. They hate to work on routine things - they would much prefer to build complex theoretical solutions, and leave the implementation of the system to others. They are intensely interested in theory, and will put forth tremendous amounts of time and energy into finding a solution to a problem with has piqued their interest. INTPs do not like to lead or control people. They're very tolerant and flexible in most situations, unless one of their firmly held beliefs has been violated or challenged, in which case they may take a very rigid stance. The INTP is likely to be very shy when it comes to meeting new people. On the other hand, the INTP is very self-confident and gregarious around people they know well, or when discussing theories which they fully understand. ... For the INTP, it is extremely important that ideas and facts are expressed correctly and succinctly. They are likely to express themselves in what they believe to be absolute truths. Sometimes, their well thought-out understanding of an idea is not easily understandable by others, but the INTP is not naturally likely to tailor the truth so as to explain it in an understandable way to others. The INTP may be prone to abandoning a project once they have figured it out, moving on to the next thing. It's important that the INTP place importance on expressing their developed theories in understandable ways. In the end, an amazing discovery means nothing if you are the only person who understands it. The INTP is usually very independent, unconventional, and original. They are not likely to place much value on traditional goals such as popularity and security. They usually have complex characters, and may tend to be restless and temperamental. They are strongly ingenious, and have unconventional thought patterns which allows them to analyze ideas in new ways. Consequently, a lot of scientific breakthroughs in the world have been made by the INTP. The INTP is at his best when he can work on his theories independently. When given an environment which supports his creative genius and possible eccentricity, the INTP can accomplish truly remarkable things. These are the pioneers of new thoughts in our society. INTPs are pensive, analytical folks. They may venture so deeply into thought as to seem detached, and often actually are oblivious to the world around them. Precise about their descriptions, INTPs will often correct others (or be sorely tempted to) if the shade of meaning is a bit off. While annoying to the less concise, this fine discrimination ability gives INTPs so inclined a natural advantage as, for example, grammarians and linguists. INTPs are relatively easy-going and amenable to almost anything until their principles are violated, about which they may become outspoken and inflexible. They prefer to return, however, to a reserved albeit benign ambiance, not wishing to make spectacles of themselves. ... Mathematics is a system where many INTPs love to play, similarly languages, computer systems--potentially any complex system. INTPs thrive on systems. Understanding, exploring, mastering, and manipulating systems can overtake the INTP's conscious thought. This fascination for logical wholes and their inner workings is often expressed in a detachment from the environment, a concentration where time is forgotten and extraneous stimuli are held at bay. Accomplishing a task or goal with this knowledge is secondary. INTPs and Logic -- One of the tipoffs that a person is an INTP is her obsession with logical correctness. Errors are not often due to poor logic -- apparent faux pas in reasoning are usually a result of overlooking details or of incorrect context. Games NTs seem to especially enjoy include Risk, Bridge, Stratego, Chess, Go, and word games of all sorts. ... source: http://typelogic.com/intp.html All 16 personality types have their strengths and weaknesses, and all of them are valuable to society. Introverted or not, the best way to attain your full potential is to reach out to your fellow humans and use their strengths to complement your weaknesses. Indeed, the smarter you are the more you should realize that you really don't know much. Yes, I sacrificed several hours of hang-out time with friends to make this. Was it worth it? Yes. BTW <3 everyone at TL - many smart people, I dare say many introverts - I've often been able to draw energy from (rightfully earned) appreciation of my works here which has actually helped me significantly. You guys are awesome, thanks for reading. Gogo Dec 21, 2012 new beginning / awakening / intellectual and spiritual revolution!!! Just wanted to say I'm INTJ as well, and I've got low self-esteem (I'd say mostly due to a terrible childhood) . This thread has helped me with my self-esteem quite a bit, and has shown me ways to explain to people that I'm not just shy and it's not much of a problem really. I've always been fighting to be more social and all, and these days I'd like to have a friend or two, but I'm pretty okay with not having one either. I don't find it sad, I like being by myself and having a good conversation with myself just as much as having one with a close friend. But what I struggle the most is with girls. I can talk to them like I talk to any guy, but when it comes to flirting, except cracking a few sex jokes, I don't find it stimulating at all, so flirting (and small talk) really feels like chores to me. | ||
X3GoldDot
Malaysia3840 Posts
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TheSwedishFan
Sweden608 Posts
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Whitewing
United States7483 Posts
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lonelyPotato
Australia158 Posts
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zJayy962
1363 Posts
On December 22 2012 11:47 glabius wrote: This thread is kind of annoying. I subscribe to the Jungian theory and I understand that there are extroverts as well as introverts but the first post just reeks of snobbishness or arrogance. OP is bolstering the qualities of introverts by putting down extroverts as talking to much or not saying anything of value. I just don't understand.. do introverts really get that much hate because they don't like going out as much or don't talk as much in social settings. According to OP: 1. Extroverts are shallow, introverts are more genuine. 2. Extroverts are social conformists where as introverts follow their own path. 3. Extroverts engage in small talk which is completely terrible. 4. Extroverts don't value their real friends. 5. Introverts are never thrill seekers and are open to new stimuli 6. Introverts are smarter on the IQ scale 7. Extroverts are not as capable as introverts at some highly respected careers (scientist, mathematical, artists) 8. Extroverts are completely 100% responsible for interacting with introverts, and if introverts aren't social its usually the extroverts fault. OP: tl;dr introverts rock according to my psuedo science and extroverts are sucky shallow people go introverts. You took one section of the whole post that wasn't even written by the OP and took it for the OP's opinion. If you read the thread he said he compiled documents from various internet sources. There may be a slight introvert bias in the "myths" section but I think you're reading too much into it. | ||
fluidin
Singapore1084 Posts
It also hopes to instill some confidence into BOTH individualistic introverts and, as some people have put it, the "socially awkward who look to labels for acceptance". Who's to say having these avenues of excuse and confidence won't benefit the latter party in the long run? Sure, initially it might cause much shifting of blame and whatnot, but because it forces such individuals to stand out and argue their stand, society will correct them, they could likely turn out to become more mature and useful members of society, when the alternative would be to remain anonymous and less productive. If believe Barrin feels this thread has both pros and cons, and that the pros outweigh the cons. r.Evo has done a good job of identifying the problems such a label will have, especially if it becomes widespread in its usage as an avenue of blame delegation. Mstring's view transcends this and is in no way false, but is not very helpful in this context. If society were to be so responsible for their personal choices and growth, you would see much less of religiosity. Not gon' happen, at least not in the near future. But yes, I know you don't care for that. I'm someone who would most likely identify as an introvert, I did MBTI in middle school and was INFP, but I've most likely 'changed' now already. However, prior to doing the test I was already aware of the nuances of my personality and identified certain key concepts of being an introvert while having no knowledge of such. Namely being able to relate better with a small group and being choosy with friends, preferring to not talk unless asked to, or feel greatly compelled to, and recharging my batteries while alone, while social excursions leave me drained. I do feel the labeling of introversion and extroversion has its merits, and some concepts are grounded properly, although it can have its fair share of cold reading, much like horoscopes. I am most interested in the neurochemistry of introverts and extroverts though, as it can prove to be most factual of any attempts at validating this concept. In the early pages someone posted a link regarding how IN's and EX's actually have different pathways and how IN's are more sensitive to dopamine. This is definitely true, at least for me. In fact, I am also diagnosed with Migraine with Aura (and other debilitating symptoms and side-effects that come with it, damn), and I;m curious to know how many other self-professed introverts in this thread are afflicted with the same condition. I am almost convinced there is a correlation between the two, at least that introverts are more likely to have this condition. And in case anyone deduces my condition caused my introversion, I had it surface after my identification with introversion. | ||
tokicheese
Canada739 Posts
I'm really socially awkward when I'm first getting to know people because I just really don't know what to say but I warm up I guess and get a lot more comfortable talking to people as time goes on. I also have a really hard time looking at people in the eyes for some reason. I sort of don't have any close friends at the moment. I had a really close friend (we got voted "attached at the hip" for year book lol) and lots of friends who I would hang out with every day in highschool and go drinking and snowboarding and stuff but after graduation I sort of stopped hanging out with them and my really good friend went through some really tough shit and turned into a real scum bag and we have not talked in over a year now... The closest friends I do have are people I met online playing Guild Wars like 6 years ago and we all still hang out and game. The only person I really spend lots of time with is my girlfriend and thankfully we share almost all of our interests and she's pretty introverted too. | ||
TheSwedishFan
Sweden608 Posts
On December 22 2012 15:05 tokicheese wrote: I have to ask... Does anyone else get a sick feeling in their stomach when they are going out to parties or other large social gatherings? I'm really socially awkward when I'm first getting to know people because I just really don't know what to say but I warm up I guess and get a lot more comfortable talking to people as time goes on. I also have a really hard time looking at people in the eyes for some reason. I sort of don't have any close friends at the moment. I had a really close friend (we got voted "attached at the hip" for year book lol) and lots of friends who I would hang out with every day in highschool and go drinking and snowboarding and stuff but after graduation I sort of stopped hanging out with them and my really good friend went through some really tough shit and turned into a real scum bag and we have not talked in over a year now... The closest friends I do have are people I met online playing Guild Wars like 6 years ago and we all still hang out and game. The only person I really spend lots of time with is my girlfriend and thankfully we share almost all of our interests and she's pretty introverted too. Same for me basicly. Then i got a "girl blog" kind of question... Where do you meet ladys that are introvert? I've always been around pretty extrovert people and they always hang out with likewise extrovert people. For some reason extrovert people find me interesting. I've always had good friends but i've never had friends wich whom i share the same interests, strangely. I've always tried to fit in but never found anywhere i really feel comfortable. Whenever people try to group me together with a woman they find the most obnoxiously extrovert machinegun mouth girl wich i can stand in the ring for 3 minutes, after that i need to throw in the towel and go lick my wounds. It would be so nice to just find someone like myself that can just enjoy the fantastic phenomenon that is silence. Only thing she and i have to do is to nod at each other and smile and just keep things simple. Every now and then we can ask how our days been and sometimes talk about interresting subject and share out ideas. I'm not fucking interested in what tv program they keep telling me about and what Britney Spears did a few days ago ... | ||
Ghostcom
Denmark4782 Posts
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decaf
Austria1797 Posts
On December 22 2012 07:17 megapants wrote: thanks for the nice OP, barrin. i was going to suggest a video as soon as i started reading (susan cain's TED talk) but i saw you already had it in there. good stuff! i'm a 20 year old male (21 in march) who has been introverted since forever! as someone once put it, i often "lie in bed and flirt with myself." at the beginning of 2012 i started a journal which i finished near the end of july (~310 pages) and am widdling through the next one. if you are reading this thread and you don't keep a journal or document your thoughts in some way, you are missing out! not only did it make my thoughts feel tangible but it is a great way to see how your thoughts grow over time. i wish now that i had kept journals when i was like 10 or something so i could read them today. the only thing i disliked about the journal was how slow my handwriting was compared to my thoughts. if this is a hassle for you as well, you can try recording your voice or doing a video diary, or simply type it out in word or on in the blog section if you feel comfortable sharing. even though i get a little frustrated with the pacing, i find it difficult to keep track of digital stuff so i'm gonna stick to the good ol' pen and paper. the only reason anyone would say any of those things is because what you said doesn't really have any potential for discussion; calling you out on those things is the only way to extract a subject matter out of your post. sure, your stats are nice but what does that matter to me? i don't think this is a "who is the BEST/MOST introverted person here?" type of thread. someone said a earlier that this is just a circle-jerk of people with superiority complexes and i don't think that was the point that barrin was trying to make at all. it only has to be that way if you step in and try and be better than the other people who are just trying to have a conversation. 99% of anything that's discussed on TL is a huge circlejerk. The OP is not even making a point, what do you want to discuss? The existence of something? How useless would that be? I'm just trying to fit in. | ||
Keldrath
United States449 Posts
But of course therapists just want to do exposure therapy :/ so great, fml. hard being an introvert living in an extroverts world. | ||
ajxPurpleRain
United States87 Posts
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Absentia
United Kingdom973 Posts
One set of my results was pretty balanced overall and the other had more schewed results. Personally, I think it's far more interesting discussing your experiences than simply claiming a particular 'type' because some tests ascribed it to you. I imagine people who've been ascribed the INTJ personality type differ from me in a variety of ways (e.g. our reasons for approaching, or not approaching, various social interactions and philosophical vs scientific minds) but such nuances aren't brought out in simply stating a four letter acronym. On December 22 2012 14:30 Whitewing wrote: Looks like I'm an INTJ. Hardly anyone in my life (apart from my father) actually understands me particularly well. I can definitely relate to this but I've never seen it as a bad thing. My relationship with my father is quite unique and I've never really been concerned with people understanding me or not. At the OP: Your post is well written and compiled but there is actually nobody named as 'Buddha'. Guatama was the man and 'The Buddha' is a title. The 'person' people generally call 'Buddha' should actually be named 'The Buddha'. Source: I'm a student of Indian philosophy. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Animzor
Sweden2154 Posts
The fact that people like outgoing or "extroverted" people is because they often make others feel good about themselves. Everyone needs human contact, even the so called introverts This isn't a problem with society, it's just the way human beings work. | ||
Animzor
Sweden2154 Posts
On December 23 2012 00:17 Barrin wrote: This seems true to me. No, but a lot of introverts feel very alone and unable to connect with anyone... this thread is supposed to show them that there are a lot of other people out there who feel the same way. You could exchange the word introverts with gamers or nerds. Because that is basically what we're talking about here. | ||
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Whitewing
United States7483 Posts
On December 23 2012 00:24 Animzor wrote: I've been thinking about my own introversion for a long time and I have come to the conclusion that people cannot be divided into introvert and extrovert. There are very few people that I have met in my life that can be considered extroverted, at least the way that this thread describes them. I have met maybe 2-3 people that genuinely cannot handle their own thoughts and have to be around people all the time. Most people seem to be somewhere in the middle. I used to think I was severely introverted, but then I realized that I am not anxious at all about social gatherings/talking to people or whatever. But I do prefer to be alone, or with my closest friends. I honestly don't see any reason to put a label on that. This whole putting introverts on a pedestal seems to be a product of the fact that a LOT of people have suddenly become nerds/gamers and thus haven't practiced their socials skills as much as other people. The fact that people like outgoing or "extroverted" people is because they often make others feel good about themselves. Everyone needs human contact, even the so called introverts This isn't a problem with society, it's just the way human beings work. Everyone is introverted AND extroverted to some degree. Most people are more extroverted than introverted, while there are a decent amount of people who are more introverted than extroverted. Hardly anyone is purely extroverted. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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ThomasjServo
15244 Posts
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Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Kokosaft
Germany172 Posts
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Cubu
1171 Posts
On December 23 2012 00:38 Barrin wrote: Bullshit it's not society's problem. Introverts tend to be extremely capable people, keep oppressing them and you only stifle progress. Let me guess, you didn't watch Susan Cain's TED talk. + Show Spoiler + i find it hypocritical that an introverted person such as her thinks introverts are 'disadvantaged in this extroverted society because of who they are' when she is a harvard law graduate. | ||
FrogOfWar
Germany1406 Posts
On December 23 2012 00:24 Animzor wrote: I've been thinking about my own introversion for a long time and I have come to the conclusion that people cannot be divided into introvert and extrovert. There are very few people that I have met in my life that can be considered extroverted, at least the way that this thread describes them. I have met maybe 2-3 people that genuinely cannot handle their own thoughts and have to be around people all the time. Most people seem to be somewhere in the middle. I used to think I was severely introverted, but then I realized that I am not anxious at all about social gatherings/talking to people or whatever. But I do prefer to be alone, or with my closest friends. I honestly don't see any reason to put a label on that. This whole putting introverts on a pedestal seems to be a product of the fact that a LOT of people have suddenly become nerds/gamers and thus haven't practiced their socials skills as much as other people. The fact that people like outgoing or "extroverted" people is because they often make others feel good about themselves. Everyone needs human contact, even the so called introverts This isn't a problem with society, it's just the way human beings work. I agree a 100 percent. I enjoy and want solitude probably more than the average guy and mostly don't talk a lot, but I also sometimes enjoy small talk and "interacting for the sake of interacting" (interacting with others is a basic human need) and even being the center of attention every once in a while. What good do those labels do? IQ is being good at what IQ tests measure. Same here. If you're happy with your life, fine, if not, you don't need a theory that explains why this is meant to be but you need to find out how to change it. And being sociable isn't rocket science. Experience plays a huge role. Going to a party after you've been on your own for five days will always feel awkward. But make a point of chatting with someone every day (random strangers, colleagues, whoever, doesn't matter), and the whole world changes very fast. We're always bad at what we don't have experience with. Sure, it's unhealthy if we all feel we have to be the life of the party all the time, but it's also unhealthy to make people believe they're irrevocably put in categories by nature or fate when those categories are in fact made up by psychologists based on commonsense stereotypes. You're not bound by what psychologists make of you in any way. Some food for thought: ... there is the dogmatism of subject-predicate language structure that is often presented under the guise of objectivity. According to this dogmatism, when I say that Professor Lindzey‘s left shoe is an „introvert,“ everyone looks at his shoe as if this were something his shoe was responsible for. Or if I say that Professor Cattell‘s head is „discursive,“ everyone looks over to him, as if the proposition had popped out of his head instead of out of mine. Don‘t look at his head! Don‘t look at his shoe! Look at me; I‘m the one who is responsible for the statement. After you figure out what I mean you can look over there to see if you make any sense out of shoes and heads by construing them the way I do. -- George A. Kelly | ||
Fusa
Canada148 Posts
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Dacendoran
United States825 Posts
Seems like a lot of TL are INTJ O.O. Would be interesting to know what % is which personality type. | ||
KillerSOS
United States4207 Posts
Funny thing is that I work as a card dealer in a casino... not exactly a introverted lifestyle. | ||
Krakoskk
United Kingdom51 Posts
Train yourself to be more confident. Go out there and make your voice heard. "personality type" is bullshit. Be what you wanna be, dont take one of those tests and let yourself be labelled and defined. All it's going to do is box you in. All it takes is a little confidence that we should all have. ______________________ I agree with others posting here that the OP is silly and possibly insulting. Just say something if you want to say something and you've got something to say.... it's as a general rule, always better to do something than to not do something. Especially in this life... "if ima die, whether or not I try: I might as well let the dice fly" I'm sorry because I know I sound stupid but ever since I did psychology GCSE, I've thought that extrovert/introverted theory is just complete and total bullshit. Peoples personalities are a construct of everything, experience, knowledge, emotion, thoughts... someone can be introverted when they're depressed or extroverted when they're happy. The former can cause the latter for vice versa. Maybe like me, they just grow up a little and learn a little more, become more happy and change completely? It's a ludicrous oversimplification of a human being and the human condition to label people as one or the other. | ||
WTFZerg
United States704 Posts
Still think it's pretty much a load as defining someones personality like this is probably impossible. Then again, I also think IQ tests are pretty much a load. | ||
Krakoskk
United Kingdom51 Posts
On December 23 2012 02:55 WTFZerg wrote: Turns out I'm an ESTP. Still think it's pretty much a load as defining someones personality like this is probably impossible. Then again, I also think IQ tests are pretty much a load. ^ Exactly. You can't label a human is either something or something else, the personality is the varying visible side to the most complicated combination of thoughts, experience, genetics and emotions imaginable. A personality test like these are pointless. | ||
C[h]ili
Germany167 Posts
Regards Chili | ||
Recognizable
Netherlands1552 Posts
On December 23 2012 03:28 C[h]ili wrote: Interesting topic. Any guide on how to turn business meetings/conferences into a win as a introvert? After all, these are largely for networking and can be very important for your career, while I think the set up gives extroverts a clear edge. Regards Chili Go and talk to people. | ||
Narobz
United States20 Posts
Edit: INTJ ![]() | ||
Ghostcom
Denmark4782 Posts
On December 23 2012 00:35 Barrin wrote: No dude. He is debunking myths about introverts, not asserting ideas about extroverts. Look carefully at your work and you'll see you put many words in his mouth. When you start out by polarizing people into 2 groups which are supposedly the exact opposite (I know they are not as it is a sliding scale, but that is not exactly what the theory behind the MBTI is, nor what you convey too well in the OP) of each other and then say the qualities of group 1 is XXXXXXXX, you are indirectly saying that group 2 is the opposite. Glabius did not put any words in your mouth, you placed them there by the way you constructed the OP. Honestly, as a type "human being" myself I could care less. The MBTI is mostly crap and if you feel like you gain anything from labeling people go right ahead, my gripe is when you use it as an attempt to assert superiority over others - which the entire OP reeks of and it is is quite frankly ridiculous. | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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Grumbels
Netherlands7028 Posts
On December 23 2012 07:02 Barrin wrote: Yes I am being very assertive about it... and as Poe says "words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality" ... if you are so offended by this thread then maybe there is something to it. If you haven't noticed it is (rightfully) giving people confidence THEY PROBABY NEED left and right. This is exactly what's wrong with your post. If you write something that gives people confidence in themselves, then alarm bells should go off. More likely than not you told them simply what they wanted to hear. (but maybe you worded it nicely) In this case it's you trying to convince people that they too can belong to a special group of strategic leaders, engineers, master planners (...) to rule the world. It's just marketing, and some people don't want to buy. (so you go argue with them endlessly in this thread) | ||
Penecks
United States600 Posts
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Ghostcom
Denmark4782 Posts
On December 23 2012 07:02 Barrin wrote: The thing is that I'm really not showing why an introvert is better than an extrovert, that's sort of a straw man. Perhaps some of the information sources did that (they really just showed some specific strengths if anything, not an overall I>E), but especially my words themselves did not really do that. I am however glorifying the benefits of being quiet. Yes I am being very assertive about it... and as Poe says "words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality" ... if you are so offended by this thread then maybe there is something to it. If you haven't noticed it is (rightfully) giving people confidence THEY PROBABY NEED left and right. You yourselves are evangelizing the fact that everyone - introverts and extroverts - can display every sort of behavior etc. including being quiet. I agree completely. But I don't think its me who's being ridiculous. Apparently we should speak through quotes, so let me start out with a couple: “The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents." - Lovecraft "Neither comprehension nor learning can take place in an atmosphere of anxiety." Rose Kennedy “Reading without reflecting is like eating without digesting.” Edmund Burke Now that it this exercise is sillyness is out of the way let me reiterate what I thought was painfully obvious from my previous post: I am not as such offended by the topic of this thread (why would I be? I scored rather highly in introversion when I had to take the MBTI during med school - if anything I should be joining in on the ego stroking), I am offended by the tone and underlying theme of superiority that the OP reeks of for the above state reasons which you have decided to close your eyes for. That is of course completely up to you, but I can not help but notice that you are showing the same reaction pattern as the first time someone challenged you and go straight for the person whilst doing some pretty heavily projecting. That the tone of the OP is being challenged throughout the 20 pages of this thread and all the positive responses you are getting are from introverts, should tell you that THERE IS PROBABLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH IT if you truly wanted to educate extroverts - as you claim in your OP - and not just boost the ego of the introverts. EDIT: Grumbels hit the nail on the head pretty well. | ||
speknek
758 Posts
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nanoscorp
United States1237 Posts
I have to agree with those voicing objections on behalf of the extroverts out there. I think there are too many positive values attached to the introverts, with corresponding negatives left for the "not-introverts." As an introvert reading the post and linked materials, I agreed with much of it, up until it started attacking the extroverted status quo. It felt like "eye for an eye" kind of justice instead of an honest attempt to promote peace. "Oh you think I'm weird for doing things this way? Well, actually, I'm normal and good and I think YOU'RE weird for doing things your way." Right? When arguing for space to be yourself it doesn't really make sense to dismiss the behavior of someone else as nonsensical, shallow or unnecessary when some of those tendencies are just as innate as the ones you're trying to defend. I'm more interested in learning techniques to improve relations and communications across the E<->I divide. Carving out space for introverts to be who they are without being judged negatively is a great idea, but I think some of the arguments put forth in the OP and subsequent posts are counterproductive. | ||
HeatEXTEND
Netherlands836 Posts
GJ OP. | ||
Maluk
France987 Posts
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aZealot
New Zealand5447 Posts
Just being quiet does not indicate a monopoly on worthwhile thought. I did find the test illuminating though. It's been a year since I took the test, and it was interesting to come up as a moderate INFJ. The last time I took the test, for work purposes, I came up as a INTJ. Before that I took the test for personal reasons and came up as a mild INFJ, and before that a mild INTJ. It's interesting, for me personally, to see that oscillation between INTJ and INFJ in the 4 times I have taken the test in the last 4 - 5 years or so. | ||
Thrill
2599 Posts
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Crescens
Bhutan19 Posts
Also, considering the rarity of introverted intuitive thinkers in the world, it is both wonderful and remarkable to have such a dense collection of INTx types here. The purpose for the MBTI and Jungian psychoanalysis is reconciliation and mutual understanding, not to box people into categories for self-aggrandizement or the establishment of uniquity. Use these tools to understand one another and to see alternative ways of viewing the world. | ||
bardtown
England2313 Posts
On December 23 2012 08:24 Thrill wrote: This does kind of clash with the TL enlightenment thread of last week, 'fake it til you become it'. I don't think so. It's a disposition and as such it is overcomable if you have the will to do so, but generally having that disposition means you don't have the will to be the opposite. I'm pretty sure I've become introverted due to a series of decisions on which things I prefer to focus on. I was working last year (actually for 6 months I wasn't and 6 months I was) and whilst looking for jobs I was always coming up against the same barrier of every position requiring an outgoing individual and for no apparent reason. My grades and the fact that I could do the job efficiently were worth next to nothing if they decided I 'wouldn't fit in' to their workforce. The job I eventually did get had a senior manager (AKA not directly part of the team) at the interview who I suspect was the reason I got it. It can be pretty crushing to know that despite being well suited to a job people just don't want you. Then again, I'm not sure the extent to which this can be attributed to my introversion as opposed to other related but distinct things. When I did the job every day was a strain, not because of the workload but because of the social atmosphere. I've learnt that I cannot live my life like that if I want to avoid severe depression. I need purpose, and I can't get that from social interaction and more often than not it's very straining, because to me it's acting. It's not in any way because I dislike people, but in a way I dislike interacting with them, at least in forced circumstances. On the other hand there are a very few people I can literally talk to all night (edit: and this does not in any way have to be an intellectual conversation or anything. I will talk total shit more often than not. I'm not rigid or emotionally blunt (also for reference, I got INTP). | ||
glabius
46 Posts
On December 23 2012 00:35 Barrin wrote: No dude. He is debunking myths about introverts, not asserting ideas about extroverts. Look carefully at your work and you'll see you put many words in his mouth. I'm using the myth section as one part to describe my distaste for OP's original post. I didn't have enough time to get every single point in the whole post so I focused on one part. Honestly, this whole thread is just an attempt to start an introverted circle jerk about how introverts are super awesome. This is generally how personality type forums/threads/discussion about personality types end up. It's generally a bunch of INTP/INTJ/ENTP/ENTJ's circle jerking about how awesome their personality type is (and also sometimes INFP/ENFP) but you'll find personality type stuff draws INTJ/ENTP/INTP the most. They like to circle jerk about how awesome their type is. I know because I am ENTP and think my type is fucking awesome, but it gets tiring. I seriously don't know why this thread is even necessary. It's mostly promoting introverted socially awkward types to self identify with their social awkwardness as a result of introversion and they "can't help it" Sorry but, no, you're socially awkward because you're socially awkward regardless of extroversion or introversion, not because you don't like small talk and people are so fake. Uou just have a problem interacting with people. Introverts ARE NOT any less capable of socializing or less socially skilled. Introversion simply means that you prefer your introverted function first and foremost. There is literally nothing wrong with being introverted, and I honestly don't think anyone fucking cares about people that prefer to chill with a few people or alone generally rather than parties or large gatherings. These threads and conversations are talked about because people are insecure about their social ineptitude and blame it on "introversion." Anyways, this is just like, my opinion, man, some of you may disagree. Continue on jerking | ||
[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
I forced extroversion upon myself for two months straight because while introversion is great, you need to network, you need to realize how other people think or pretend to think, and extroversion will get you a much better foundation the more you get used to it. Once I started to lose my trains of thought intentionally, experimenting with a good depth of conversation - convey some great ideas, but don't forget the casual stuff and the pleasantries wherever needed - did it for two months, and life definitely changed for me. I began to learn things I couldn't have gotten without emphasis on mass communication, feedback, and general extroversion. Jump in and go, no second thoughts, applied to everything and anything. And take everyone with me on my leap. But it's only for utility and experience. I want to find a good medium to live in, somewhat extroverted and somewhat introverted. Introversion awareness is 10 kilos of grade-A bullshit. The real issue here should just be bridging people of all types. Don't stand out and be proud that you're somehow "better" than the other person, assimilate and encourage others to assimilate. Thou art not holier than them, they art not holier than thou. | ||
EatThePath
United States3943 Posts
@Sentinel: many people constantly change on the introvert/extrovert scale throughout their lives, even without conscious effort or major differences in living situations. And of course a mix is far more likely than one way or the other. ----- Anyway, I'm always glad for exposure for widespread misconceptions. (Is this even an applicable description in the present zeitgeist?) But I'm never glad for fetishizing in earnest. (Not that this was intended nor necessarily effected.) | ||
Animzor
Sweden2154 Posts
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Tobberoth
Sweden6375 Posts
On December 23 2012 10:12 Animzor wrote: I hope nobody believes this bullshit. Barrin, you are not special, and you are making this seem like a religion for the poor masses that have grown up during the nineties. What bullshit? He's only fighting the misconception that introverts are failures. Nothing wrong with that. | ||
NIJ
1012 Posts
gotta admit though, it is fun, like horoscopes often are. | ||
bardtown
England2313 Posts
On December 23 2012 10:46 NIJ wrote: Ah MBTI..... horoscopes for people who don't want to associate with superstitions (so they go with pseudo science)... Welcome to the internet where everyone and their mother is the rarest MBTI category too, INTJ/INTP/INFJ... gotta admit though, it is fun, like horoscopes often are. Ah the internet, where every idiot throws his opinion around as though it's fact. | ||
Crescens
Bhutan19 Posts
On December 23 2012 10:46 NIJ wrote: Ah MBTI..... horoscopes for people who don't want to associate with superstitions (so they go with pseudo science)... Welcome to the internet where everyone and their mother is the rarest MBTI category too, INTJ/INTP/INFJ... gotta admit though, it is fun, like horoscopes often are. The internet provides an ideal social medium for the types you mentioned. It's only logical that people that struggle with social interactions would congregate around the medium which provides them a comfortable means of doing so. Furthermore, bearing this site in mind, those types ought to be in the majority. | ||
Underkoffer
Netherlands53 Posts
People like to believe what makes them feel better and they like to have explanations for their actions. Sure the idea of introversion and extraversion seems to be a valid explanation, but because I am biased to believe that because the explanation makes me feel more confident, it makes me unsure about its validity. | ||
megapants
United States1314 Posts
On December 23 2012 03:28 C[h]ili wrote: Interesting topic. Any guide on how to turn business meetings/conferences into a win as a introvert? After all, these are largely for networking and can be very important for your career, while I think the set up gives extroverts a clear edge. Regards Chili Come prepared so that you can properly contribute. Focus on clearly saying things that have a big impact if you aren't comfortable with the idea of bouncing around a conversation/topic. Being introverted isn't a handicap in these situations, just play to your strength of contemplating and you'll be invaluable. | ||
fluidin
Singapore1084 Posts
On December 21 2012 11:07 Cheerio wrote: a bit of info on the Neurochemistry of Introversion http://forums.intpcentral.com/showthread.php?10517-Neurochemistry-of-Introversion&s=7c01d853bee95addad3897cf9b2eb5a0 This means a fundamental difference in how our brains process information, and could be the reason that leads to "typical" behavior that most introverts/extroverts face. I can definitely relate to this; I'm not awkward in a social setting by any means, although I do feel like it drains me and that I'm just a more sensitive individual as compared to others, both mentally (how it affects my euphoria levels) and even physically. So no, being an introvert is not just about being shy, or not having enough social interaction. I believe true introversion and extroversion is not just whatever personality traits you can throw at them, which most of the more intelligent posts in this thread has already discussed about, and shown. The reason why Introversion is negatively associated with social disability is because they are more PRONE to developing these characteristics in their growth as compared to extroversion, obviously. If you grow up in a good family, have good friends and learn how to socialize properly, then the differences between Introverts and Extroverts shouldn't be what some of you perceive it to be. It isn't that introverts CANNOT perform in a large meeting, the mature ones just don't necessarily LIKE it, and it drains them, while extroverts can THRIVE in them. | ||
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p4NDemik
United States13896 Posts
Personal story-telling time. If I'm at a house party, a club, or a bar where it is wall-to-wall people and the decibel level is comparable to a major sporting event, you can probably guess the parts of the night that I enjoy the most. Smoke breaks. It's not even that I love smoking, in fact I only do it in these situations and I don't smoke casually any other time. It's the fact that me and a couple friends can break off, go outside, and actually talk in relative comfort amongst ourselves, or with relative strangers. Even on a freezing cold winter night like yesterday in some respects I'm more comfortable outside in the cold with a few people than inside amongst the masses. In a extremely dense and stimulating social situation I can enjoy the relative chaos for a time but eventually I am mentally exhausted. My hearing isn't particularly bad but for the life of me after a certain period of time in a very loud party situation I am bound to become a wallflower if I don't get outside, recharge, and then dive back in. Flip the situation. I'm sitting at my desk posting on TL. I could literally do this all night long. Reading, playing a game, playing the guitar, what have you, I don't look at the time when I'm in my room or in small-scale social settings, as opposed to a club where sometimes I'm literally setting 30 minute intervals where I have to go out and rest. That is what introversion is to me. It isn't a result on an online test that we can all post our results and then bicker about. Seriously, MBTI's scientific credentials aside, it really has no place in this discussion. It is extraneous to the issue at hand. If you watched the Susan Cain TED presentation, she gives the reasons why we should be concerned about the issue. Mostly, this is something that affects the development of children. By the time we are adults most of those who consider themselves introverted have learned to cope and adjust and can be quite successful. The issue is they may not be reaching their true peak potential, so to say. This thread thus far has a vibe that the introverts of Western society feel like they've been kept down by the extroverted "man," subjugated in some way to mediocrity and this is some great injustice. There is no reason to be pitting the two sides against each other. There are some biases inherent in our culture that favor extroversion, but to portray it as such a criminal social construct that immediately needs to be flipped on its head is just going way too far. The question is how we can look at rethinking some of the cultural values we hold that may not be really working out in everyone's collective best interest. How can we train teachers to identify those students who are extroverted/introverted? How can we train teachers to help every one of those kids get the most out of their learning experience? How can we do that efficiently while still giving equal merits to both qualities and teaching introverts and extroverts how others perceive the world differently? After all we as humans function better as groups when we understand each other. | ||
fluidin
Singapore1084 Posts
This point of identifying introversion isn't about justifying such behavior, it's to help the growth of people with introversion tendencies. Although making introversion out to be a social injustice could have significant social benefits in the long run, even if current methods as shown in the OP is used. It's just how people are more receptive, and thus respond faster to such methods. | ||
Crescens
Bhutan19 Posts
On December 23 2012 15:47 p4NDemik wrote: There is so much division in this thread and very little coming together to understand what it is to get into the mind of an introvert if you are an extrovert, and vice versa. Personal story-telling time. If I'm at a house party, a club, or a bar where it is wall-to-wall people and the decibel level is comparable to a major sporting event, you can probably guess the parts of the night that I enjoy the most. Smoke breaks. It's not even that I love smoking, in fact I only do it in these situations and I don't smoke casually any other time. It's the fact that me and a couple friends can break off, go outside, and actually talk in relative comfort amongst ourselves, or with relative strangers. Even on a freezing cold winter night like yesterday in some respects I'm more comfortable outside in the cold with a few people than inside amongst the masses. In a extremely dense and stimulating social situation I can enjoy the relative chaos for a time but eventually I am mentally exhausted. My hearing isn't particularly bad but for the life of me after a certain period of time in a very loud party situation I am bound to become a wallflower if I don't get outside, recharge, and then dive back in. Flip the situation. I'm sitting at my desk posting on TL. I could literally do this all night long. Reading, playing a game, playing the guitar, what have you, I don't look at the time when I'm in my room or in small-scale social settings, as opposed to a club where sometimes I'm literally setting 30 minute intervals where I have to go out and rest. That is what introversion is to me. It isn't a result on an online test that we can all post our results and then bicker about. Seriously, MBTI's scientific credentials aside, it really has no place in this discussion. It is extraneous to the issue at hand. If you watched the Susan Cain TED presentation, she gives the reasons why we should be concerned about the issue. Mostly, this is something that affects the development of children. By the time we are adults most of those who consider themselves introverted have learned to cope and adjust and can be quite successful. The issue is they may not be reaching their true peak potential, so to say. This thread thus far has a vibe that the introverts of Western society feel like they've been kept down by the extroverted "man," subjugated in some way to mediocrity and this is some great injustice. There is no reason to be pitting the two sides against each other. There are some biases inherent in our culture that favor extroversion, but to portray it as such a criminal social construct that immediately needs to be flipped on its head is just going way too far. The question is how we can look at rethinking some of the cultural values we hold that may not be really working out in everyone's collective best interest. How can we train teachers to identify those students who are extroverted/introverted? How can we train teachers to help every one of those kids get the most out of their learning experience? How can we do that efficiently while still giving equal merits to both qualities and teaching introverts and extroverts how others perceive the world differently? After all we as humans function better as groups when we understand each other. Thank you p4NDemik. Your experiences and views echo my own. There is much mutual understanding to be developed on the part of both introverts and extraverts. Fortunately, the means to do so begins with simply learning to respect the differences between us. | ||
MountainDewJunkie
United States10340 Posts
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p4NDemik
United States13896 Posts
On December 23 2012 16:06 fluidin wrote: Yep, in current society introverts are more prone to develop bad social habits, even if correction happens upon reaching adulthood it's not optimal. This point of identifying introversion isn't about justifying such behavior, it's to help the growth of people with introversion tendencies. Although making introversion out to be a social injustice could have significant social benefits in the long run, even if current methods as shown in the OP is used. It's just how people are more receptive, and thus respond faster to such methods. As far as this speculation that introverts are more likely to have "bad social habits," this is the type of discussion that is entirely moot, and has surfaced multiple times in this thread. Neither type is inherently more likely to have poor social skills, they just develop their social skills in different fashions. As it happens, modern day Western society slightly favors an extroverted approach to social skills, but that doesn't mean introverts are defective or should be addressed as being more prone to anything other than being born into a society that puts them at a very slight disadvantage. People can lie on either extreme of the social spectrum. For every introvert who is quiet, reserved, and not thought of as socially well-versed there are also extroverts who may just be just too over the top, too ready to discuss inappropriate subject matters, who talk about such inane topics that even other extroverts hate conversing with them, who do things in the moment and later look very, very foolish, etc. Even then both of these things are just different. What is the ideal set of social skills? The perfect mix? The golden standard? We don't really have one. We have general guidelines but beyond that whatever it is we are striving for is very vague. As such, why label anyone social skills as "bad" or "undesirable" so long as they aren't harming themselves or others? This is the kind of thing that is at the heart of this issue. There is zero reason for labeling introverts, or extroverts for that matter as bad, or particularly prone to being bad at anything. Yet, we have that mindset. It's no one's fault, no one should be defensive here, its merely the culture we grew up in. | ||
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p4NDemik
United States13896 Posts
On December 23 2012 16:14 MountainDewJunkie wrote: But the concept is falling into the usual Western system of victimization. Oh, I'm this way because I'm an introvert. Nonono, you are MANY things and you do many things, and based on your thoughts and actions WE can label you as introvert, and better yet, convince you to arbitrarily label yourself through common list of characteristics and pseudoscience. Yes, you too can simplify your entire existence into a single word! Don't you think you're worth more than this? These are very valid criticisms of the format of the original post. You are conflating his approach for presenting this issue with the issue itself though. Susan Cain's criticism's of how we evaluate children in schools and how we evaluate employees for possible promotion have real merit and pose important questions. If you take nothing else away from this thread, I would hope it would be her presentation. edit: Let me clarify why this thread has been difficult to follow for me personally. Reading the OP is like reading a dissertation advocating bipartisanship in the U.S. Congress, while written from completely one side of the aisle. Thus, the party from whose side the dissertation was written gets all pumped and pushes their agenda, while the other party's agenda has been completely glossed over and they get really fucking pissed. That's why I say, drop the introverts vs extroverts bullshit, talk about your personal stories as introverts and extroverts, come to understand each other better, and through that we can actually make some changes. | ||
fluidin
Singapore1084 Posts
On December 23 2012 16:22 p4NDemik wrote: As far as this speculation that introverts are more likely to have "bad social habits," this is the type of discussion that is entirely moot, and has surfaced multiple times in this thread. Neither type is inherently more likely to have poor social skills, they just develop their social skills in different fashions. As it happens, modern day Western society slightly favors an extroverted approach to social skills, but that doesn't mean introverts are defective or should be addressed as being more prone to anything other than being born into a society that puts them at a very slight disadvantage. People can lie on either extreme of the social spectrum. For every introvert who is quiet, reserved, and not thought of as socially well-versed there are also extroverts who may just be just too over the top, too ready to discuss inappropriate subject matters, who talk about such inane topics that even other extroverts hate conversing with them, who do things in the moment and later look very, very foolish, etc. Even then both of these things are just different. What is the ideal set of social skills? The perfect mix? The golden standard? We don't really have one. We have general guidelines but beyond that whatever it is we are striving for is very vague. As such, why label anyone social skills as "bad" or "undesirable" so long as they aren't harming themselves or others? This is the kind of thing that is at the heart of this issue. There is zero reason for labeling introverts, or extroverts for that matter as bad, or particularly prone to being bad at anything. Yet, we have that mindset. It's no one's fault, no one should be defensive here, its merely the culture we grew up in. Sorry for being unclear, but my "bad" refers to being disadvantaged in current society. I wouldn't say it's a very slight disadvantage, but a pretty significant one. It isn't inherent, it's that inherent introversion is more likely to lead to "poor social habits" as defined by modern standards. There is no ideal set of social skills obviously, as some are more suited to certain personalities and psyches. However, there are more undesirable ones that stand out from the pack. It is undesirable because certain introverts have ambition, but there are less means to realise that ambition. Of course, this can be subjective, but overall the consensus is that extroverts are rewarded disproportionately, is it not? It's the culture's fault :/ | ||
Crescens
Bhutan19 Posts
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fluidin
Singapore1084 Posts
Most high paying jobs that do not have a high barrier of entry (academia, medicine, large capital) are skewed towards extraverts (I'm looking at you, finance sector). Furthermore, Einstein and Gandhi are not average introverts (if they are), they are just part of a special group of people that also include extraverts, I'm sure. | ||
Ghostcom
Denmark4782 Posts
On December 23 2012 17:18 fluidin wrote: No, I'm talking about things like, say, material wealth. This is something that both introverts and extraverts are likely to aspire to achieve and not subscribing to the extravert's standards. Most high paying jobs that do not have a high barrier of entry (academia, medicine, large capital) are skewed towards extraverts (I'm looking at you, finance sector). Furthermore, Einstein and Gandhi are not average introverts (if they are), they are just part of a special group of people that also include extraverts, I'm sure. Academia and Medicine does not have a high barrier of entry? What? I am really interested in hearing your definition of "high barrier" here. | ||
aZealot
New Zealand5447 Posts
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fluidin
Singapore1084 Posts
On December 23 2012 17:49 Ghostcom wrote: Academia and Medicine does not have a high barrier of entry? What? I am really interested in hearing your definition of "high barrier" here. I'm saying those are the stuff that has a high barrier of entry =____= | ||
xM(Z
Romania5277 Posts
On December 23 2012 17:18 fluidin wrote: No, I'm talking about things like, say, material wealth. This is something that both introverts and extraverts are likely to aspire to achieve and not subscribing to the extravert's standards. Most high paying jobs that do not have a high barrier of entry (academia, medicine, large capital) are skewed towards extraverts (I'm looking at you, finance sector). Furthermore, Einstein and Gandhi are not average introverts (if they are), they are just part of a special group of people that also include extraverts, I'm sure. i'd say material wealth is something one has to apire to, so it's not really a choise. i care nothing about wealth. | ||
Ghostcom
Denmark4782 Posts
On December 23 2012 18:07 fluidin wrote: I'm saying those are the stuff that has a high barrier of entry =____= Ooooooh, now I get it - sorry, I thought the parenthesis was meant to be the examples. But I think it is because you look at the barrier the wrong way. Essentially you claim it to be society's fault that the big money jobs in the finance sector is favoring extroverts, even though from a purely knowledge standpoint the introverts are better (a notion I do not agree with, but let us leave that for now) - right? I think where your argumentation falls short is that you fail to recognize that talking with people is a skill, not only a preference, just like academia is a skill and not only a preference (again, accepting the definitions made by MBTI, the OP, and Susan Cain). Thus the barrier in the financial sector includes interpersonal skills to a much higher degree than academia. If you want to even the playingfield in the one area you should also do it in the other, i.e. you should rework the grading system (another social construct) to take into account the "handicaps" extroverts face in their lessened interest in academia (again, by the definition of the OP and Susan Cain). EDIT: On December 23 2012 18:02 aZealot wrote: I don't have a personal story as an introvert other than: leave me the fuck alone. Oh yeah, and don't typecast me, either. 10/10 would read again (I honestly did find it very funny - I should be getting to bed) | ||
Deleuze
United Kingdom2102 Posts
On December 23 2012 17:49 Ghostcom wrote: Academia and Medicine does not have a high barrier of entry? What? I am really interested in hearing your definition of "high barrier" here. I think he meant, 'academia, medicine, large capital' were examples of 'high barrier of entry.' | ||
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p4NDemik
United States13896 Posts
On December 23 2012 18:18 Ghostcom wrote: Ooooooh, now I get it - sorry, I thought the parenthesis was meant to be the examples. But I think it is because you look at the barrier the wrong way. Essentially you claim it to be society's fault that the big money jobs in the finance sector is favoring extroverts, even though from a purely knowledge standpoint the introverts are better (a notion I do not agree with, but let us leave that for now) - right? I think where your argumentation falls short is that you fail to recognize that talking with people is a skill, not only a preference, just like academia is a skill and not only a preference (again, accepting the definitions made by MBTI, the OP, and Susan Cain). Thus the barrier in the financial sector includes interpersonal skills to a much higher degree than academia. If you want to even the playingfield in the one area you should also do it in the other, i.e. you should rework the grading system (another social construct) to take into account the "handicaps" extroverts face in their lessened interest in academia (again, by the definition of the OP and Susan Cain). Susan Cain didn't say anything about extroverts having lessened interest in academia (at least not in her TED presentation). She did say studies support the hypothesis that introverts receive better grades. She made no presumptions as to why that is the case. Indeed, that is the other side of the coin though. The educational system is a tool for teaching kids both in terms of subject matter and social skills. Socially we encourage extroverted traits, and many teachers may see them as necessary to a healthy classroom environment. At the same time the methods for grading performance (in the U.S.) greatly favor standardized tests, quizzes, exams, homework, etc. All of which fall plainly on the introverted student's side of the court. | ||
fluidin
Singapore1084 Posts
On December 23 2012 18:18 Ghostcom wrote: Ooooooh, now I get it - sorry, I thought the parenthesis was meant to be the examples. But I think it is because you look at the barrier the wrong way. Essentially you claim it to be society's fault that the big money jobs in the finance sector is favoring extroverts, even though from a purely knowledge standpoint the introverts are better (a notion I do not agree with, but let us leave that for now) - right? I think where your argumentation falls short is that you fail to recognize that talking with people is a skill, not only a preference, just like academia is a skill and not only a preference (again, accepting the definitions made by MBTI, the OP, and Susan Cain). Thus the barrier in the financial sector includes interpersonal skills to a much higher degree than academia. If you want to even the playingfield in the one area you should also do it in the other, i.e. you should rework the grading system (another social construct) to take into account the "handicaps" extroverts face in their lessened interest in academia (again, by the definition of the OP and Susan Cain). Hmmm, you have a point there, however I want to point out certain cases where, say, the most popular and successful fund managers aren't the ones that actually manage wealth the best. I'm not trying to compare introverts and extroverts as separate groups in this case, and also definitely not implying that introverts make better employees, but that certain extroversion traits carry high, and IMO disproportionate amounts of reward. This is definitely a by-product of how modern society works, and not a hard-skill like academia where it's easier to judge their true capability. I mean, if, say, technology has progressed to the point where financial information can be immediate and practically 100% accurate using the strong-form market hypothesis, you could see charismatic fund managers and private bankers having less success as compared to now, and consistent managers that post better performance and socialise less have more success. | ||
Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
I love solitude most of the time, but I hate that I love it. I'm glad that many of you are at peace with your nature, that's obviously more healthy, but I'm currently in the middle of the collapse of a 7-year relationship which was good for at least 5 of those years and I don't know what to do. She was outgoing but respected my need for alone time, and we spent a good bit of time together, enough for me, and enough for her (or so we thought)... I'll skip the rest of the relationship stuff although it ties in closely with what I'm going to say - basically I want to go out but when I actually am I'm uncomfortable, and while I can enjoy it, it ends up being boring as hell a lot of the time, unless there are some interesting people around. The forever alone feel is settling in now. Edit: Thinking about, seems like my overinflated ego just got completely dismantled. ![]() | ||
CtrLZerG
United States104 Posts
This is how I personally view it: It helps me understand another person's perspective just a little bit better, and helps me develop communication skills with people who are polar opposites to me... if you don't share that opinion, it doesn't make it alright to completely demean my views and look down upon me, humiliating my views in front of an audience. That's the social equivalent to bullying. Let me give you all the definition of an online bully: A person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are perceived weaker. The ego maniacs in this thread don't need to put so many people down. It takes away productivity. And to those who WILL bring this up, just because you counter-argue someone's opinion, doesn't make it a debate. A debate does more than expose doubt, it makes the overall post more productive. Most people arguing over these points brought out aren't adding anything of value to the thread, they are only invalidating others. Also, thank you p4NDemik for pointing out that this isn't a thread built for the sake of dividing people... it's to improve the self-esteem of those who think their being an introvert is a disadvantage... Life is about doing the best with what you have. That's what makes the difference between the best and worst of society, not necessarily their being born with the traits that they have... That, to me, is the equivalent of destiny, which takes free will out of the picture all together. We all have free will, don't we? Why can't we respect other's opinions and personal integrity? | ||
aZealot
New Zealand5447 Posts
On December 24 2012 09:30 CtrLZerG wrote: Why can't we respect other's opinions and personal integrity? Because it's the internet, and that's fucking boring. (zzzzzzzzz.) | ||
KiF1rE
United States964 Posts
On December 24 2012 09:30 CtrLZerG wrote: Also, thank you p4NDemik for pointing out that this isn't a thread built for the sake of dividing people... it's to improve the self-esteem of those who think their being an introvert is a disadvantage... Life is about doing the best with what you have. Biggest issue I have, Is that it is a massive disadvantage for me. I cannot for the life of me turn it into anything but that. Doing the best with what I have means, Im a lifeless broken failure that can barely afford food. Being an extreme introvert means ill probably never figure out how to be a decent streamer to gain popularity or anything else to actually go pro in SC2(short of figuring out how to win a major). Or even have the social skills to acquire practice partners.(which would also help me win a major tournament) or even find a job outside of or within esports. | ||
pa_si
4 Posts
I've learned to live with it but I also learned that you need to understand that you are somewhat "different" otherwise you can run into highly disappointing relashionships with non "introverted" persons. Thank you for the post and for the material, really appreciated !! | ||
CtrLZerG
United States104 Posts
On December 27 2012 08:56 KiF1rE wrote: Biggest issue I have, Is that it is a massive disadvantage for me. I cannot for the life of me turn it into anything but that. Doing the best with what I have means, Im a lifeless broken failure that can barely afford food. Being an extreme introvert means ill probably never figure out how to be a decent streamer to gain popularity or anything else to actually go pro in SC2(short of figuring out how to win a major). Or even have the social skills to acquire practice partners.(which would also help me win a major tournament) or even find a job outside of or within esports. There are opportunities available for people who struggle in social situations... I know it's a huge challenge, but don't give up! It takes time, but it's worth the challenge... Maybe I was a little insensitive saying that life is about doing the best with what you have. I know a lot of people aren't given nearly as many chances or opportunities in life as others... Nobody has the same circumstances, and I'm sorry for making you feel bad, I really didn't mean too... I was just caught in the moment, noticed a lot of people were ragging on the thread and giving barrin a hard time, and I was pretty pissed off about it, because this is a thread to help people feel better about themselves... One of the things that I really appreciate about teamliquid is, despite the mass of online trolls, most teamliquid posters are willing to help if you reach out. Why not try making a thread, and outline some basic information that will help others see the challenges you're facing... I'm sure there are those willing to help you achieve your dream, as long as you keep trying! I'm sure there are some who will be able to relate to your situation, and have similar interests as you, as well... A relationship is most easily built off common ground, so I can understand it being weird talking to someone who only has an interest in cars and hunting and stuff like that... especially if they keep going on and on when you're bored out of your mind..! On top of that, if you try pursuing a relationship with someone who only has an interest in things you aren't interested in, the foundation your building on is already fragmented.. any stress, and the foundation crumbles... It's tough, because there aren't a lot of people in the world who are naturally inclined to talk about concepts or deeper things... and a lot of times if they do, they have an arrogant way of pointing out the flaws in your ideas, which only makes it harder to communicate with them, and harder to open up to them... At least, that's where MY challenge is... That's why I've struggled to communicate with people in the past. It took me a long time to find a few people who I could really rely on, but when I did, they helped me more than I could possibly express. So don't give up, nothing good comes out of dismissing yourself as a failure. Express your ideas! When you do, it's like you are building your endurance. The more you do it, the easier it gets, and the longer you can endure. Think of runners. Could you imagine if they never trained? They wouldn't be very successful. A lot of times, runners run marathons, not for the sake of getting first place, but to see what they are capable of, because they enjoy it! They want to FINISH the race. They run because they love to run. You don't need to be the most successful person in the world, you dont need to be first. Think of yourself as a work in progress. You just have to love what you do, finish the race for the sake of finishing it, and be proud of your achievements! Just try growing a little more every day, and try to see where you can improve. Don't give up! Life isn't over for you yet, so keep trying man! Opportunities will naturally come and go as you grow... so just keep trying! | ||
Cubu
1171 Posts
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CtrLZerG
United States104 Posts
On December 28 2012 09:52 Cubu wrote: There is a huge misconception about introverts in this thread. People here attribute their shortcomings in social settings to being an introvert. Being introverted is not the reason for your problems. If you are struggling in social situations, to the extent where it becomes a massive disadvantage, then you might be having something like social anxiety or some other psychological disorder. Yea, you're right. I try to avoid making assumptions, but I couldn't help but think that, also. Social anxiety disorder is fairly common, even among extroverts... Introversion, in itself, isn't a disadvantage. The thing is, many people who are introverted may also develop social anxiety disorder if they prefer to avoid social contact on a regular basis... Then, when they do make social interactions, its uncomfortable. It would be similar to someone not exercising on a regular basis and deciding to suddenly go run a marathon. It would be super uncomfortable for that person, and they probably wouldnt even cross the finish line. Someone who avoids 'exercising' their social abilities can develop anxiety when put in social situations, which are unavoidable to a certain extent, regardless of introversion and extroversion. Humans being naturally social means in order to be healthy, we should have a healthy dose of social interactions on a regular basis, otherwise we are working contrary to how we're designed, and it wont go well for us. In other words, I agree with everything you just said :D | ||
BrTarolg
United Kingdom3574 Posts
In some ways, i'm quite lucky, but in other ways i worked hard to get what i wanted. My job consists of sitting at my desk doing pretty much whatever the hell i want, as long as i make money nobody cares. Nobody can affect how much money i make except for myself, and i don't have to talk to anyone all day long My personality and way of thinking is a big boon in the trading industry i think. It lets you think way more independently (which i feel is very important), and By all means i dont hate social interaction, i love it. But i hate it the vast majority of the time with most people, and i love it sometimes with a few people i like to hang out with. Somehow when people discover this, they think this is an excuse to label me as a "bad person" or something. | ||
KiF1rE
United States964 Posts
On December 28 2012 09:24 CtrLZerG wrote: There are opportunities available for people who struggle in social situations... I know it's a huge challenge, but don't give up! It takes time, but it's worth the challenge... Maybe I was a little insensitive saying that life is about doing the best with what you have. I know a lot of people aren't given nearly as many chances or opportunities in life as others... Nobody has the same circumstances, and I'm sorry for making you feel bad, I really didn't mean too... I was just caught in the moment, noticed a lot of people were ragging on the thread and giving barrin a hard time, and I was pretty pissed off about it, because this is a thread to help people feel better about themselves... One of the things that I really appreciate about teamliquid is, despite the mass of online trolls, most teamliquid posters are willing to help if you reach out. Why not try making a thread, and outline some basic information that will help others see the challenges you're facing... I'm sure there are those willing to help you achieve your dream, as long as you keep trying! I'm sure there are some who will be able to relate to your situation, and have similar interests as you, as well... A relationship is most easily built off common ground, so I can understand it being weird talking to someone who only has an interest in cars and hunting and stuff like that... especially if they keep going on and on when you're bored out of your mind..! On top of that, if you try pursuing a relationship with someone who only has an interest in things you aren't interested in, the foundation your building on is already fragmented.. any stress, and the foundation crumbles... It's tough, because there aren't a lot of people in the world who are naturally inclined to talk about concepts or deeper things... and a lot of times if they do, they have an arrogant way of pointing out the flaws in your ideas, which only makes it harder to communicate with them, and harder to open up to them... At least, that's where MY challenge is... That's why I've struggled to communicate with people in the past. It took me a long time to find a few people who I could really rely on, but when I did, they helped me more than I could possibly express. So don't give up, nothing good comes out of dismissing yourself as a failure. Express your ideas! When you do, it's like you are building your endurance. The more you do it, the easier it gets, and the longer you can endure. Think of runners. Could you imagine if they never trained? They wouldn't be very successful. A lot of times, runners run marathons, not for the sake of getting first place, but to see what they are capable of, because they enjoy it! They want to FINISH the race. They run because they love to run. You don't need to be the most successful person in the world, you dont need to be first. Think of yourself as a work in progress. You just have to love what you do, finish the race for the sake of finishing it, and be proud of your achievements! Just try growing a little more every day, and try to see where you can improve. Don't give up! Life isn't over for you yet, so keep trying man! Opportunities will naturally come and go as you grow... so just keep trying! You didnt make me feel bad, its that statement that has been running around my head along time before you said it. The thing is I just have no idea what to do with it. I know it takes time to achieve dreams and goals, But I make very little progress and my achievements that I used to take alot of pride in, No longer provide any pride. Brief TL:DR about my esports career, Ive been competing for almost 20 years now. Won hundreds of smaller tournaments, a bunch of a local lans, Placed well in national events. Won 2 awkward IEM events. I took pride in those. However, I cannot get myself out there and make connections with people for any of that to matter in the slightest, That is the part where when people say it takes time annoys me, Because all of that in the end doesn't matter, And I started to believe that and that's where I lost my pride in those achievements. That's why I say I have to win something major in SC2, Doing really well, knocking out big names but never qualifying for anything major and becoming depressed and just falling off the face of the sc2 scene that I was irrelevant in already, While players worse than me have success at every opportunity, As in the end it doesnt matter how much small stuff I win, Unless I acquire contacts and become more sociable it doesn't matter that I'm almost facing 3.5k winnings in SC2, because all of the stuff was small and not in the public eye, Meaning even the smallest of unsponsored teams reject me, and even those interviews in themselves feel awkward. This is why I say im a failure in SC2 and also life in similar situations as my life outside of esports is similar. As it just feels like nothing I accomplish matters, and it comes down to the social element in everything. On December 28 2012 11:48 CtrLZerG wrote: Yea, you're right. I try to avoid making assumptions, but I couldn't help but think that, also. Social anxiety disorder is fairly common, even among extroverts... Introversion, in itself, isn't a disadvantage. The thing is, many people who are introverted may also develop social anxiety disorder if they prefer to avoid social contact on a regular basis... Then, when they do make social interactions, its uncomfortable. It would be similar to someone not exercising on a regular basis and deciding to suddenly go run a marathon. It would be super uncomfortable for that person, and they probably wouldnt even cross the finish line. Someone who avoids 'exercising' their social abilities can develop anxiety when put in social situations, which are unavoidable to a certain extent, regardless of introversion and extroversion. Humans being naturally social means in order to be healthy, we should have a healthy dose of social interactions on a regular basis, otherwise we are working contrary to how we're designed, and it wont go well for us. In other words, I agree with everything you just said :D I feel more like an extreme introvert, I feel, I really don't have social anxiety, as I have no problem with social situations and dont care what others think, However in turn I also do care what others think(paradox I know), As I tend to come off rude or very awkward, And that's why the social situation goes down hill, Because I only care what they think in a sense of "I need to impress this person to get a job" Other than that I don't care.... But I do have a massive lack of social experience due to the fact that I missed a lot of it growing up due to bullying and other stuff.... Which in turn comes full circle on why up above I have been gaming for so long. however where I live just sucks and being an introvert, have trouble finding help to get that experience. Basically I feel its kind of bad tag team combo that has ruined me. While I do love your example about marathons, I do love "running" that race for the sake of running. But the pressure that I have to do not only well but really really well has crippled that. As I feel in order to make the best of what I got, I cant fail in any other aspect in order to make up for it, to find success. And success is really a bad word to describe this as success implies alot of other things, Surviving as a person is a better term. | ||
Thalandros
Netherlands1151 Posts
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xM(Z
Romania5277 Posts
On December 28 2012 11:48 CtrLZerG wrote: ... Humans being naturally social means in order to be healthy, we should have a healthy dose of social interactions on a regular basis, otherwise we are working contrary to how we're designed, and it wont go well for us. In other words, I agree with everything you just said :D how did you figured that? and what does "naturally social" mean? 'cause there is a difference between being able to communicate with other people and being forced (more or less) to communicate at a certain level just for the sake of being accepted and valued in todays social environments. | ||
CtrLZerG
United States104 Posts
On December 28 2012 12:27 KiF1rE wrote: I feel more like an extreme introvert, I feel, I really don't have social anxiety, as I have no problem with social situations and dont care what others think, However in turn I also do care what others think(paradox I know), As I tend to come off rude or very awkward, And that's why the social situation goes down hill, Because I only care what they think in a sense of "I need to impress this person to get a job" Other than that I don't care.... But I do have a massive lack of social experience due to the fact that I missed a lot of it growing up due to bullying and other stuff.... Which in turn comes full circle on why up above I have been gaming for so long. however where I live just sucks and being an introvert, have trouble finding help to get that experience. Basically I feel its kind of bad tag team combo that has ruined me. While I do love your example about marathons, I do love "running" that race for the sake of running. But the pressure that I have to do not only well but really really well has crippled that. As I feel in order to make the best of what I got, I cant fail in any other aspect in order to make up for it, to find success. And success is really a bad word to describe this as success implies alot of other things, Surviving as a person is a better term. Hmmm... Yea, I can see where that would be really tough to deal with man.. I feel for you. Bullying is a really debilitating thing. Must be really hard to get past that.... Recently, my friend got angry at me because I essentially told him he needed to be just a little more patient. I was a little upset at first because I didn't understand why he got angry at me... So I thought about it a little more and realized he had already been really patient. what made him frustrated was that he lost hope in the situation while he was being patient, and was on the verge of just giving up. He was angry because he didn't want to hear he needed more patience. I can see how that must be frustrating for you... I don't know your whole story, and so I won't put myself in a position to give you an answer, because it will end up being shallow, because it will only be from my own perspective... At the same time, I really hope you can keep trying. I hate seeing people give up on their dreams... And I know that a big reason people do give up is that they are just tired of being disappointed in themselves. That feeling of dissapointment is something I can relate too, even if I can't relate to your personal situation. Being able to express those feelings to a close friend, face to face, was so valuable to me. It's something that can be really tough to do, though. when I was able to find a friend in somebody and tell him exactly how i felt, he actually saved my life. I know the value of a friend when your life goes to hell. And it really is hell, when you have nothing in your head but your own perceived embarrassment. It's the most frustrating thing in the world. And the worst part is, everybody cares, and everybody understands in there own head, but they really don't get it. They say "I know, I know, " yet they don't listen to what it is you have to say. You just need that one person who listens. It's hard to find that one person. Anyways, sorry for rambling. I do this sometimes. This might sound strange, but what you said really moved me... It effected me in a really profound way. Since you've started posting, I've been thinking about everything you said. Hang in there man... Also, I'd love to watch you stream, too, if you ever choose to.. Just send me a link ![]() Take care! | ||
gugarutz
Austria110 Posts
had to lol when i saw the pictures since i use the meditating monk as my desktop image for some time now ^^ | ||
Ghostcom
Denmark4782 Posts
On December 28 2012 09:52 Cubu wrote: There is a huge misconception about introverts in this thread. People here attribute their shortcomings in social settings to being an introvert. Being introverted is not the reason for your problems. If you are struggling in social situations, to the extent where it becomes a massive disadvantage, then you might be having something like social anxiety or some other psychological disorder. I would like to know what your merits are since you are so keen at diagnosing people with psychological disorders? | ||
fooby
United States52 Posts
Took whatever test that was a while ago but never got a real good description of what the results meant. Thanks for the thread, well put together and easy to skim through. I wanted to share this with someone else before it "faded away" and felt some sort of a reply was necessary. | ||
Rimstalker
Germany734 Posts
On December 27 2012 08:56 KiF1rE wrote: Just wanted to say this is an awesome thread, Though im still seeking on how to find success in this world... People say things like a programming job are great for introverts, but I cant stand job interviews and getting through them, As they are typically hard and filled with alot of small talk that not only I struggle with, But have no interest in. Even more awkward when they are just an extremely talkative person that is just there for hiring and knows absolutely nothing about the job im applying for... obviously since i frequent TL I like starcraft and an avid SC player trying to go pro, I have no interest in cars,sports or hunting which always gets brought up in michigan =/ So when someone talks about the big game yesterday I immediately think of pro league or something and not whatever they were talking about lol. First of all: There are niche jobs, you just have to find them. Not long ago, I was reading about a company in Denmark (?) that specializes in jobs for people with (severe) autism. And 2ndly: The jobs where they have the nice, chatty lady talk to you are generally the jobs you don't want. Become really good at something, hunt down small companies in that field and send them initiative job applications. Or you can even start at joining some local tech 'clubs'. 'My' company for example actively sends its employees to hacker meetups or even sponsors such events to find local talent Most startups will have a career section on their homepage | ||
ThomasjServo
15244 Posts
It isn't bad by any stretch of the imagination, but is simply unexpectedly (and in my opinion unnecessarily) brash about the subject. I would liken it to saying, "We're here, we're introverted, get used to it." To be fair Rufus goes to certain lengths to differentiate between a Loner and an Introvert; I would say great lengths but the qualitative distinction is blurry at best. I have enjoyed both, and am looking over the rest of the books mentioned in the OP. | ||
anatase
France532 Posts
Still, being introvert and staying into the silence is pure goldness. Now i fear that with all these media exposition introvertion might become something "cool" and the word gets ripped out by marketers, as they did with geek. | ||
mierin
United States4943 Posts
![]() ![]() EDIT: Sometimes I find myself going crazy having to watch the above things by myself. I was trying to empathize with you all, but from the other side. | ||
KiF1rE
United States964 Posts
On January 03 2013 13:42 mierin wrote: It's very weird being extroverted and such a fan of esports, because I love watching SPL/GSL/etc but I can only ever really get friends to come to an MLG ![]() ![]() EDIT: Sometimes I find myself going crazy having to watch the above things by myself. I was trying to empathize with you all, but from the other side. uhh what.... Most starcraft introverts would actually probably love going out and watching SC2 lol... | ||
jdseemoreglass
United States3773 Posts
On January 03 2013 14:21 KiF1rE wrote: uhh what.... Most starcraft introverts would actually probably love going out and watching SC2 lol... I used to want to do that quite a bit... But after seeing enough tournaments pan over the crowd, I lost all desire. Most of the time they seem a little depressing lol. | ||
AirbladeOrange
United States2571 Posts
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Thrill
2599 Posts
I dated this introvert girl. She was initially drawn to my extrovert 'aura', how i commanded a room/table and made everyone feel comfortable. I had my eyes set on her from the moment we met and we were both happy to learn that the wish to spend time together was mutual. So we did. I tried to take her to various social settings but she was reluctant, went to a festival which i loved and she hated. I treasured her company more than that of more superficial acquaintances and therefor chose to spend more time with her and her alone. She had a small circle of friends, all of whom i found uninteresting, i had a large circle towards which she felt the same way. We spent time together very intensively, so much so that we shared everything yet it was always just the two of us. It wasn't necessarily 'us against the world' but the world certainly seemed unimportant without her. I still went to various parties and gatherings that she preferred to stay out of but the fun in those was tainted - pretty much all my time there was spent thinking how awesome it would be to share those experiences with her (this song, that dance, these jokes). Obviously i was fooling myself, her coming along only resulted in her putting on a facade and me sensing her actual misery. Things were getting more and more intense and our relationship started becoming an addiction of which we would both constantly overdose. I'll leave what happens next to some blog or something but basically what i'm getting at here - how do we enjoy things together without only actually enjoying each other? Like whatever it is, scenic walk, cinema, crazy acts of spontaneous urban exploring - in effect we'd probably enjoy a windowless prison cell just as much as long as we were together and i'm not sure this is entirely healthy. | ||
CecilSunkure
United States2829 Posts
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Ghostcom
Denmark4782 Posts
On January 03 2013 14:58 Thrill wrote: So... I need some help here. I dated this introvert girl. She was initially drawn to my extrovert 'aura', how i commanded a room/table and made everyone feel comfortable. I had my eyes set on her from the moment we met and we were both happy to learn that the wish to spend time together was mutual. So we did. I tried to take her to various social settings but she was reluctant, went to a festival which i loved and she hated. I treasured her company more than that of more superficial acquaintances and therefor chose to spend more time with her and her alone. She had a small circle of friends, all of whom i found uninteresting, i had a large circle towards which she felt the same way. We spent time together very intensively, so much so that we shared everything yet it was always just the two of us. It wasn't necessarily 'us against the world' but the world certainly seemed unimportant without her. I still went to various parties and gatherings that she preferred to stay out of but the fun in those was tainted - pretty much all my time there was spent thinking how awesome it would be to share those experiences with her (this song, that dance, these jokes). Obviously i was fooling myself, her coming along only resulted in her putting on a facade and me sensing her actual misery. Things were getting more and more intense and our relationship started becoming an addiction of which we would both constantly overdose. I'll leave what happens next to some blog or something but basically what i'm getting at here - how do we enjoy things together without only actually enjoying each other? Like whatever it is, scenic walk, cinema, crazy acts of spontaneous urban exploring - in effect we'd probably enjoy a windowless prison cell just as much as long as we were together and i'm not sure this is entirely healthy. Girlblog material - although a bit light on the doom and gloom. | ||
Steel
Japan2283 Posts
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Asmodeusx
286 Posts
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xM(Z
Romania5277 Posts
On January 03 2013 16:18 Asmodeusx wrote: defending a set of behaviors pinned to a stereotype is just using the same stereotype with changed meaning, it only strenghtens the stereotype, the proper way to present it, is abandoning false generalization that there is such thing as an introvert or extrovert if you look at the moon and say it's round, did you made it round?(just by saying it). shit is what it is whether you cathegorize it or not. note: were both half wrong here anyway. | ||
Grumbels
Netherlands7028 Posts
On January 03 2013 14:58 Thrill wrote: + Show Spoiler + So... I need some help here. I dated this introvert girl. She was initially drawn to my extrovert 'aura', how i commanded a room/table and made everyone feel comfortable. I had my eyes set on her from the moment we met and we were both happy to learn that the wish to spend time together was mutual. So we did. I tried to take her to various social settings but she was reluctant, went to a festival which i loved and she hated. I treasured her company more than that of more superficial acquaintances and therefor chose to spend more time with her and her alone. She had a small circle of friends, all of whom i found uninteresting, i had a large circle towards which she felt the same way. We spent time together very intensively, so much so that we shared everything yet it was always just the two of us. It wasn't necessarily 'us against the world' but the world certainly seemed unimportant without her. I still went to various parties and gatherings that she preferred to stay out of but the fun in those was tainted - pretty much all my time there was spent thinking how awesome it would be to share those experiences with her (this song, that dance, these jokes). Obviously i was fooling myself, her coming along only resulted in her putting on a facade and me sensing her actual misery. Things were getting more and more intense and our relationship started becoming an addiction of which we would both constantly overdose. I'll leave what happens next to some blog or something but basically what i'm getting at here - how do we enjoy things together without only actually enjoying each other? Like whatever it is, scenic walk, cinema, crazy acts of spontaneous urban exploring - in effect we'd probably enjoy a windowless prison cell just as much as long as we were together and i'm not sure this is entirely healthy. I don't see why she should not be comfortable with you at parties. You have the fabled extrovert aura, your very presence animates the room and sets everyone at ease. But to be honest, this is how things go: you make a friend, then they meet a 'soulmate' and downgrade you to superficial acquaintance. Many couples are like this and aren't necessarily miserable, even though they separate themselves from the world. It might just be a question of finding hobbies and activities the two of you could do together. Reproducing, for instance. It's the perfect way to introduce a new person into your circle, one that is guaranteed to be adored by both you and your girlfriend. And it gives you something to do, and you could tell yourself that your relationship now has transcended into a new level or so. | ||
Holdenintherye
Canada1441 Posts
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Fencar
United States2694 Posts
On January 04 2013 12:35 Holdenintherye wrote: Three questions:Just reactivated Facebook to help me overcome my anxiety. Maybe it'll help me connect more easily with other people 1) Are you ever going to meet anyone you meet in Facebook in real life? 2) How many friends are you comfortable with in real life? 3) Do you really need to let them know about stuff all the time with 'status updates' and whatnot? Why not just send E-mails, talk on the phone, or use skype? Edit: I don't expect an answer to these questions, but think on them. | ||
JOJOsc2news
3000 Posts
On January 03 2013 16:02 Steel wrote: Hey add a extrovert / introvert pool I'm curious! A poll like that would be interesting. Not sure if everyone is happy with a categorization like that but those who are would be represented in that poll. That's one of the most well-made threads I've seen. Go Barrin! | ||
Kenpachi
United States9908 Posts
On January 05 2013 00:27 JOJOsc2news wrote: A poll like that would be interesting. Not sure if everyone is happy with a categorization like that but those who are would be represented in that poll. That's one of the most well-made threads I've seen. Go Barrin! dont forget the ambiverts ![]() | ||
Danglars
United States12133 Posts
Now, I listen to the Susan Cain videos, and I find one eloquent speaker that affirms some of those puzzling things growing up and into modern adult society. Why the hell can't I go with my own suitcase of books to read them with others for a time, punctuated by conversation or discussion at the end of a time? Why is having a group that is more likely to contain a few genuine socially awkward people (totally disconnected with extroverted thought processes) so looked down upon in comparison with an opposite group more likely to contain a few genuinely clueless people when it comes to self reflection (totally disconnected with introverted thought processes). To say either camp is preferable is akin to the lunacy described by Cain in her TED lecture: The fully committed brain in one or the other is the brain of a lunatic. Good questions were brought up by Susan Cain and the rest of the body of work found in the thread. What if schools are killing the seeds of imagination with too much of a focus on teamwork and it's lack of I's? Is the modern educational consensus pushing square pegs into round holes along with the round ones, by shaving off the edges of the square? The round pegs keep their original character and the square pegs lose some of their essentiality to pass the hurdle. I harken back to Orwell's Politics and the English Language, where no examination of language results in a parade of meaningless phrases. Maybe now we are also in danger of letting only outward parties and frequent communication dominate our thought development process. Perhaps more time needs to be stolen back by quiet examination of our own actions, thoughts, and personality traits. | ||
ETisME
12309 Posts
My dad especially constantly reminding me that speaking out my thoughts is extremely important, so that it may help others to understand me However the truth is that I prefer to listen to others and share my opinion if only necessary. I think it's important to not lose track of who you really are, but also you have to remember that the world will reject you if you are contained by yourself | ||
Randomaccount#77123
United States5003 Posts
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xM(Z
Romania5277 Posts
On January 17 2013 23:19 Barrin wrote: Ya? Supposedly it's part of why I'm not longer a banling. Go figure. i figured that ![]() then there's always this: "The opinions expressed by our users do not reflect the official position of TeamLiquid.net or its staff." still, poor management of the issue, if there ever was one. | ||
llIH
Norway2142 Posts
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llIH
Norway2142 Posts
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Kenpachi
United States9908 Posts
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McBengt
Sweden1684 Posts
On January 04 2013 16:02 Fencar wrote: Three questions: 1) Are you ever going to meet anyone you meet in Facebook in real life? 2) How many friends are you comfortable with in real life? 3) Do you really need to let them know about stuff all the time with 'status updates' and whatnot? Why not just send E-mails, talk on the phone, or use skype? Edit: I don't expect an answer to these questions, but think on them. I suppose this is kind of ironic, but I have exactly two friends on the facebook account I've logged on to a grand total of maybe four times, and I've met them both several times a week for over a year. | ||
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