If 13 is an unlucky number, then 12 and 14 are guilty by association. Mitch: 12, I know I saw you with 13. Twelve: No I wasn't, I was with 11. You talk to 14 about that shit. Mitch: What do you have to say, 14? Fourteen: Me divided by 2 equals 7... alright, I was with 13, shit.
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I have an oscillating fan at home; it looks like it's saying 'Noo...' so I like to ask it questions that a fan would say 'no' to. Mitch: Do you keep my hair in place? *fan turns from side to side, meaning no* Mitch: Do you keep my documents in order? *fan turns from side to side, meaning no* Mitch: Do you have three settings? *fan turns from side to side, meaning no* Mitch: Liar! My fan fuckin' lied to me! Now I will pull the pin up. Now you ain't sayin' shit!
Maybe im missing him telling the jokes, but i found only a couple remotely funny. Many are far-fetched word jokes (Dr.Akula), which aren't even funny when you're drunk. Other are just stupid dumb, like the 2 ones above this.
On March 27 2006 13:19 Eniram wrote: "I saw this whino, he was eating grapes... it's like, Dude, you have to wait."
I never got this. Can someone explain it to me?
You make wine from grapes...
On March 27 2006 18:00 aseq wrote: Maybe im missing him telling the jokes, but i found only a couple remotely funny. Many are far-fetched word jokes (Dr.Akula), which aren't even funny when you're drunk. Other are just stupid dumb, like the 2 ones above this.
His jokes are really about the delivery, more than the content. You have to hear them, really.
I've had that girlfriend joke in my sig for a long time, it's one of my favorite ones, and the only one that'd fit.
i totally agree.. when i read these I have mitch in my head so they're funny... because I've seen so much of his comedy. You need to listen to the man to find it funny.
I can't believe u missed the one where he's playing loud music and his neighbour is banging on the walls.. and then he tells him to walk around coz he can't open the wall or something
I went to a pizzaria and ordered a slice of pizza, the fucker gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, the fucker gave me the "donate it to charity" slice. I would like to exchange this for the "keep it"!
On March 27 2006 21:17 EvilTeletubby wrote: Well, seeing as 90% of Hedberg's comedy is in the delivery, I've uploaded his two CDs for your listening pleasure:
Edit: Revolve, I think the second half of the jokes are from his First CD, "Strategic Grill Locations." Ie, The one he had to leave in stores. "Nah, that's for sale. Please alphabetize it."
On March 28 2006 20:44 EvilTeletubby wrote: Oh, and before anyone complains, yes, I'm aware one of them has a little playback loop in it (skips back about a minute once).
Is that the full album? Was I not paying attention, or did he not make the joke about when he worked in a restaurant and his manger gave him strategic grill locations?
By the way, whether I was not paying attention, or it wasn't on there, that shit was great. Thanks a lot, man.
EPT
