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Age Hierarchy Power in Asia is too much ? - Page 3

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mastergriggy
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States1312 Posts
April 10 2012 01:05 GMT
#41
I don't see anything wrong with respecting your elder, as long as you don't go overboard with it. I don't think respect is letting someone take advantage of you, for example.
Write your own song!
spkim1
Profile Joined April 2009
Canada286 Posts
April 10 2012 01:34 GMT
#42
On April 10 2012 10:00 MethodSC wrote:
Show nested quote +
On April 10 2012 09:57 spkim1 wrote:
On April 10 2012 09:40 Ilikestarcraft wrote:
On April 10 2012 09:26 spkim1 wrote:
On April 10 2012 09:11 Ilikestarcraft wrote:
On April 10 2012 09:04 spkim1 wrote:
On April 10 2012 08:55 Ilikestarcraft wrote:
You actually acted wrong in this situation. When a senior is setting his juniors straight, usually its done with good intentions. Since you said you're Korean by blood but not nationality and for others reading this thread, who aren't as accustomed to Korean culture might find it outrageous that the senior was slapping his juniors. But for him to do that, they must have really fucked up if hes a good senior. And in that situation when hes talking to them, you coming in and asking the guy your age, if he was not too drunk and ok gives the impression you're disrespecting him. The other senior let you off easy because I'm sure He knew you meant no disrespect but it wasn't the best thing to do in the situation.


So I m not allowed to ask him if he s not too drunk ? Him getting a disciplinary session from the seniors is one thing and him apologising to me is another. Why should a conflict started between us be settled by seniors ?

If he screwed up before and got slapped then it s fine. But I am the victim here and wanted to settle things with him.

I just don't understand how this whole thing works at all .....

Well imagine if you were him. You just got slapped and yelled at. You can settle it with him some other time. In that current situation you should have just stayed quiet. You asking if hes drunk or not makes it seem like you're ignoring what just happened before especially since your seniors were there present. And honestly I think you're overestimating your role here. If he messed up, he would have been the only one getting yelled but you said others were getting it too. That means this is beyond you and that guy now which is why in that situation the best action was to show respect and stay quiet.


I understand your point. I guess the influence of alcohol on me played a part too.
Still, I thought at our age things can be resolved by talking, no ?
Do we have to get so physical, whether we mess up or not ?
Is that the role of a senior ? Parents maybe ? Older brother ? Teacher ? Drill sergeant ?

I don't know ..... I would never slap a junior across the face, no matter how badly he messes up or no matter how much I cherish him. I believe THAT is overestimating my role. He is of age, he can learn from his mistakes without the slaps and beatings.

Well since a lot of information is left out I'm left to assume what happened. They could have been just bad seniors abusing their powers but I'm just thinking of a situation where I can see where they were coming from. The reason some Koreans get physical is cause if someone really messes up, talking isn't really always the best option. Sometimes getting physical might be more effective in getting the message across. To answer your last question, you can say the role of a senior is to watch out for his juniors. For me I always considered ideally, the role of a 형/hyung/senior is someone you respect enough that when you mess up, he tells you and even if you first disagree, you give what he says a second thought just cause you respect him that much. If you're really confused, approach one of them about last night and just try to be as respectful as you can and tell them how confused you were about what happened. Some parts of Korean culture take some time to get used to. You might not always agree with it, but at least you can better understand it.


I understand. Thanks for your wise advice. You seem to understand Korean culture way better than I do (the use of 한글 letters leads me to believe you are Korean), and your proficiency in english makes me assume you are of a similar background to mine.

It sure isn't easy to fully integrate into Korean society, if not, I'm afraid, outright impossible, for westernized people like me !


Why would you want to be part of a society where the use of force is justified just because of age? Makes absolutely no sense.


I guess it's something to do with other advantages within the culture that I have not mentionned in this post. Koreans are intense people who like to have fun in a very explosive way, but also work in a fired-up fashion. Once you get used to this dynamism, you learn to get swirled away into an intense and entertaining society and end-up asking for more. Although if you screw up, you have a hard time for a while, it's definitely fun being around with them.
"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new" - Einstein, Albert
Kenpachi
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States9908 Posts
April 10 2012 01:45 GMT
#43
it really affected me hard. I cant talk to older people straight up if i dont know them or dont talk to them. IT SUCKS.
Nada's body is South Korea's greatest weapon.
decerto
Profile Joined November 2011
244 Posts
April 10 2012 01:54 GMT
#44
Its outdated archaic concept, that simply shouldnt of ever existed. Older people can be worse in every single way than someone younger than them. Respect is earned not given. And ageing in no way is earning anything, everyone ages its not very hard.
xOchievax
Profile Joined April 2010
United States69 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-10 02:09:08
April 10 2012 02:08 GMT
#45
In my opinion there is an important difference between being respected and being able to disrespect others with impunity. Elders shouldn't feel entitled to be condescending and insulting based solely on their age.

With that being said, I am always happy to listen to the thoughts and worldviews of old people. Even if their ideas dont make sense to me, I try to give them an opportunity to fully express themselves before asking critical questions. If an elderly person is incapable of defending and explaining their beliefs in a calm, non-hostile manner, they probably are not as wise as some Asian cultures would portray them as anyways.

Ultimately I treat older people with more or less the same respect as anyone else. Perhaps I would give elders more of a chance to substantiate views. After living for such a long time the elderly have had more of a chance to formulate their thoughts and opinions on the world. That, in my opinion, is the only true value which an age based respect system might have. Petty insults and arrogance should be just as unacceptable for people of any age.

Yet I admit there is something extremely admirable about some elders. I am far more impressed by those who respect their youngers than those who respect their elders. The ability to simultaneously respect a younger generation's culture and communitate long-held wisdoms (and defend them without hostility) is what truly makes some elders worthy of my respect.

Keep in mind that this kind of respect must be earned. I do not go around assuming that every elder I meet is worthy of my absolute respect. In fact it seems that elders who meet the above criteria are in the minority.
WolfintheSheep
Profile Joined June 2011
Canada14127 Posts
April 10 2012 02:32 GMT
#46
This is one of the reason why people talking about "Korean respect" in terms of SC2 bothers me. Most of them try to put the Korean culture on some kind of pedestal, and pretend that it's some gold standard that everyone should aspire to.

What they don't really realize, though, is that much of Asian culture is about ingrained respect. Not true respect, in that people are empathetic and genuinely want to get along with everyone else. It's that they've been trained to bow their head, act polite, and to "know their role" in society, so to speak. People older than you are above you, people with a higher company position are above you, etc. which results in a lot of two-faced nature.

Not to say that the Western attitudes are better. They're different, and extremely contrasting, and if I had to generalize, Western upbringing is much better for the individual, and Asian upbringing is better for the community.
Average means I'm better than half of you.
Dontkillme
Profile Joined November 2011
Korea (South)806 Posts
April 10 2012 02:49 GMT
#47
My country emphasizes age WAY TOO MUCH. Wish it would get toned down.
Bomber & Jaedong & FlaSh & SNSD <3
Xiphos
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Canada7507 Posts
April 10 2012 02:52 GMT
#48
On April 10 2012 11:32 WolfintheSheep wrote:
This is one of the reason why people talking about "Korean respect" in terms of SC2 bothers me. Most of them try to put the Korean culture on some kind of pedestal, and pretend that it's some gold standard that everyone should aspire to.

What they don't really realize, though, is that much of Asian culture is about ingrained respect. Not true respect, in that people are empathetic and genuinely want to get along with everyone else. It's that they've been trained to bow their head, act polite, and to "know their role" in society, so to speak. People older than you are above you, people with a higher company position are above you, etc. which results in a lot of two-faced nature.

Not to say that the Western attitudes are better. They're different, and extremely contrasting, and if I had to generalize, Western upbringing is much better for the individual, and Asian upbringing is better for the community.


Idk man, as a Chinese, our history is not anything at all like the Korean one. In China, it is "everyone for themselves". They don't care how old you are, people are going to treat you like shit. Its only the Korean culture and maybe the Japanese one.
2014 - ᕙ( •̀ل͜•́) ϡ Raise your bows brood warriors! ᕙ( •̀ل͜•́) ϡ
PhiliBiRD
Profile Joined November 2009
United States2643 Posts
April 10 2012 02:56 GMT
#49
the concept of it is great... but in practice its not so great..

there are just too many people who dont deserve it, nor earned it
KimJongChill
Profile Joined January 2011
United States6429 Posts
April 10 2012 03:05 GMT
#50
Yeah, I think the whole 'hyung' seniority thing can be taken far too seriously sometimes, but then again I don't really hang out with Korean people despite myself being Korean so yah.
MMA: U realise MMA: Most of my army EgIdra: fuck off MMA: Killed my orbital MMA: LOL MMA: just saying MMA: u werent loss
jinorazi
Profile Joined October 2004
Korea (South)4948 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-10 03:11:43
April 10 2012 03:08 GMT
#51
respect is given to both sides (old and young), old does have authority and have the final word, out of respect. ie. if you're being punished/scold for something, do not make excuses.
i assume the guy was getting slapped because of the way he behaved while other people, especially older folks were present. and some behavior is not acceptable, like acting stupid while drunk.

in my view, respect is given but its maintenance must be earned. young should respect the old unless the old acts in away to neglect that respect, such as taking advantage of the fact that old should hold power and abusing it.

and one thing, this hierarchy is strong in the military and you know about koreans and military. that still lives on in the background of adult life. misbehaving in front of those you should behave, will get you in trouble. acting out in front of elders/older/those-who-you-should-behave-in-front-of is a big no no.

i think this is old way of thinking and with the newer generation, its changing, its getting toned down. for example, i grew up with confucius/corporate punishment in school, women and children eating in separate tables as men, one is now illegal and the other, except for deep country side, people dont eat at separate tables anymore.

this authority is sometimes taken far but remember that the fault lies in the individual, not the culture.
i will not respect those who abuse their "hyung/oppa" status no more and i will call it out in front of their face. this mentality is what america has taught me.
age: 84 | location: california | sex: 잘함
KillerDucky
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States498 Posts
April 10 2012 03:11 GMT
#52
The way I understood it, although elders should be respected by their juniors, the elders have a responsibility to act appropriately as well. It shouldn't be a one way street. The way AAK's blog describes it makes sense to me:


http://askakorean.blogspot.com/2011/06/confucianism-and-korea-part-vi-korean.html

Abuse of Hierarchical Position

Confucianism is commonly described as emphasizing hierarchy. That is a fair description in a sense because in almost every Confucian relation, there is a clear order of who comes first, and who comes second -- parents over children, ruler over subjects, husband over wife, older over younger. But the Korean so far has avoided the term "hierarchical," and instead opted for the term "relational." That choice was made because the Korean believed the term "hierarchical" missed an important element in Confucian relations -- that each person in a relationship, whether superior or inferior, has a certain duty corresponding to his/her status in the relationship. In, the highest ideal of Confucianism, is a natural result when everyone acts on his duty.

Often, this element is ignored in contemporary Korea. Instead, what ends up happening is a naked power play in the guise of Confucianism. Political leaders demand respect while not having done much to inspire such respect from the people. Bosses demand deference without doing much to inspire the deference from their employees. Older Koreans yell at younger Koreans rather than persuade. Facing this dynamic, instead of naturally obeying their superiors, Koreans often do so with bitten lips and gritted teeth.

More Confucianism will help this situation. Under the more orthodox view of Confucianism, such leaders and bosses will soon lose the heaven's mandate to lead, because they have not fulfilled their own duties. Once the heaven's mandate is lost, they no longer deserve to be in that position. In fact, this is the core message that enabled the Joseon Dynasty, which replaced Goryeo Dynasty that was supposed to have lost the heaven's mandate. Likewise, orthodox Confucianism envisions a dynamic relationship within a hierarchy. Hierarchy is necessary; there is no group that can properly function without a leader who can take decisive actions. Focusing on the duties of the leaders of the hierarchy, as Confucianism calls for, will make the various hierarchies in Korea run smoother.
MarineKingPrime Forever!
Azzur
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Australia6260 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-10 03:27:21
April 10 2012 03:25 GMT
#53
Yes, abuse of power due to age occurs.

However, think about it the other way - this respect your elders helped keep society in check. The OP cites a story where the senior was disciplining someone and that was for the junior's own good. Better the discipline than someone behaving badly.

Also respect doesn't mean you let people trample all over you - alot of people have the wrong mindset about it. If someone disrepects you, let them know about it - if they persist, walk away.
S2Glow
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Singapore1042 Posts
April 10 2012 03:35 GMT
#54
this is a dumb rules that is being created just like other country with their community rules.. i heard of korean senior and junior position but in my country is all about whether you know how to fight or not. :D
<3 Katelyn , C Zerg. Dying wish is to watch proleague live and see my girlfriend which gonna be soon! <33
OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
April 10 2012 03:41 GMT
#55
Violence is bad. Being involved in gang activity is usually bad. Drinking beyond moderation is often bad, especially in hostile environment.

I don't think the age hierarchy system is the core of the problem. Sure, the hierarchy may have contributed various factors to the incident you witnessed, but it's more of a case of people drinking when they shouldn't in amounts they shouldn't with people they shouldn't and in a place they shouldn't.

I'd even go out on a limb and say the core of the problem is the widely accepted alcohol consumption in culture and even law - there was an infamous case recently in Korea (within last 2 years I think?) where a child molester/rapist was handed down a relatively minor sentence with one of the reasons being that he was deemed to be drunk during the rape. Don't quote me on that, I didn't do an extensive study of the case or anything, but that's what I remember from the Korean news at the time.
[TLMS] REBOOT
Rfaulker
Profile Joined December 2010
United States53 Posts
April 10 2012 03:43 GMT
#56
This incident saddens me, as I've always thought the notion of respecting your elders was really badass.. I've gained tons of wisdom from people older than myself, but there's always some scum in every group...
Consistency is proficiency
HaruRH
Profile Blog Joined August 2011
Singapore2780 Posts
April 10 2012 03:44 GMT
#57
On April 10 2012 12:35 S2Glow wrote:
this is a dumb rules that is being created just like other country with their community rules.. i heard of korean senior and junior position but in my country is all about whether you know how to fight or not. :D


Please don't shame our country in a public forum.

In our country, it still do work like that. Elders in the family will be given respect, albeit more westernised. However, I would prefer such a system over one which gives total freedom. There are also many examples of people misusing their freedom, such as moving out from your house, abandoning your parents once you've reached 18 years of age. With these hierarchy system, there comes natural respect for your parents, giving them some form of power over you.
It is fucking D4 and you are still alive as a CONFIRMED FUCKING TOWN. This is how fucking terrible scum thinks you are - Koshi
ScouraE
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
Canada28 Posts
April 10 2012 03:46 GMT
#58
Ya i agree with most of the previous posts.
I'm chinese and I believe that elders should be treated with respect, under the condition that they don't treat you like shit.
I'm in a family where my parents think that they are better than me in everything (no exaggeration), even English (lol, they can't speak much english at all). And whenever something in the house went wrong, they would always blame me, even if it had nothing to do with me at all, because they think that i lack knowledge and experience and somehow some way is the source of all the problems in the house. So when i talk back to them and get mad in that situation, I don't really feel i did something that is completely againest my chinese ancestry, since my parents didn't even think rationally and simply abused their power to blame me.
And ya in chinese culture it's "always show absolute respect to elders" period, so i guess living in canada really let me opened my eyes to how people should logically be treated. (Helariously enough this change in culture view is depicted as really evil, and to quote my parents and relatives "ruined young kids who went to the west, to learn to say no to parents.")
Wirting is a process not a product
Half
Profile Joined March 2010
United States2554 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-04-10 04:13:48
April 10 2012 04:12 GMT
#59
Meanwhile
http://www.chinasmack.com/2012/videos/chinese-teenagers-beat-up-elderly-at-jiangsu-nursing-home.html
Too Busy to Troll!
TheKwas
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Iceland372 Posts
April 10 2012 04:13 GMT
#60
I think a lot of people here are getting confused by the word "senior" or "elder". Typically in english, when we say respect your senior we mean respect old people, as in people our father's age and older. In Korean culture, a 형/hyeong/senior is anyone older than you by atleast one year (or, depending on how the birthdays work out in relation to New Years, even less).

In the case of this story, I imagine that everyone was in a similar age group, but the seniors were a few years older and the juniors still had to show respect to their hyeong. It's almost like a frat, except Koreans aren't frat-house douchebags.

Of course, if you become close friends with a senior or a junior, you can drop the honourifics and speak your mind more freely around them as an equal. However, upon the first meeting, you must be respectful of your elders and in return the seniors are expected to take care of their juniors (which often includes paying for everything during the night).


There is a lot of abuse with these sorts of relationships, perhaps most commonly older oppas (older brother relationship to a girl) will try to pull rank to make younger female friends hang out with them or attend association meetings the females would rather skip, but on the whole these relationships are not abusive at all and instead just clarify how you should act in social settings.
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