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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
hexhaven
Profile Joined July 2014
Finland966 Posts
July 29 2016 20:32 GMT
#17301
On July 30 2016 04:09 Volband wrote:
All in all, it was a great experiences, definitely no regrets, so even if it ends like this, I can't complain. As for me... I should probably slow down, but my breaks doesn't seem to work.


This was glorious.
WriterI shoot events. | http://www.jussi.co/esports
Volband
Profile Joined March 2011
Hungary6034 Posts
July 29 2016 20:57 GMT
#17302
@CosmicSpiral

Show what you wrote to a woman for a free high-five! But I'm going to save you the trouble, yes, this was also a defense-mechanism, a passive-agressive remark to show my frustration. And now I was doing a light parody of your desensitized approach from your high horse which barely had any constructive-criticism. I'm okay with "dude, you are a fucking idiot" as long as it has an actual meaningful message.

You were mostly preaching to the choir, but all right, here are some responses without trying to be witty - I leave that part to you:
- No, I don't think those attractive girls on that dating site are bad. I am quite aware it's just be being unattractive, thus it being an uphill battle to peak their interest.
- No, I don't think I am entitled to anything from them. Just because I shared some of my temporary but radical thoughts with you guys here, does not mean I am not capable of thinking straight. Are you the guy who tries to cheer up someone after a breakup telling them the unbearable pain they feel is because of this and that chemicals, and objectively saying, the best thing they could do is just to start moving on right now, as it is scientifically proven that the pain will numb?
- I never said I put my efforts into being witty. I wish I could have some fancy words describing someone who puts words into someone's mouth. But if you are interested, those letters were around 1000 characters long and me talking about interests and their interest if we had something in common, or if I had a small story about the city they lived, etc. And God, please, don't lecture me how it's still not entitles me a reply, or that I approached the letter in the wrong way. You know well if they find my physically attractive they will reply to a "hi" and a 4000 characters long random rant as well. Don't gaslight me, dude.
- Yes, I am aware it must be 10 times harder for fat people than it is for me. Can't feel sorry for them though, because while I had to change numerous things about myself to start to be attractive to at least myself, all they had to do to start with is lose weight. If you want to lecture me about diseases which makes it impossible or hard to lose weight, please, just drops this topic. You can't possibly be the white-knight of everything.
- Sorry, being among 60% of the girls on that site who are apparently getting off from a trip to the forest is now something I should adore. You tell me to not judge by the outside, then white-knight these shallow girls. Just don't.
- And if I already mentioned, not sure about your obsession about inner values. If I want to have sex with someone the number one thing I'm going to look at is her looks, and it goes both ways.
- My post was about hookups with girls. The only part where I kinda talked about the serious stuff is when I talked about how I am incapable of properly talking with girls whom I genuinely like.
- I told you guys what my experiences were and what I have been doing to some of the girls. I did not come here for sympathy points, but it just boggles my mind how you defend girls who just want some rebound attention after a break-up, but if I'm testing my fangs on unattractive or low self-esteem girls I'm the bad guy. How is leading me on acceptable, but when I do it, I'm miserable? Is it the key to open the pussy vault? Act like some crazed feminist? PM me a yes and I'm gonna try it.
- I might have BPD and I might be prone to splitting. Why not cure me while you are at it? I was giving an easy rundown on the type of girls I met on that site, you don't need to talk about how the world is not black and white. I swear, if you are actually good looking you should hit yourself, because that's like a x10 due to hypocrisy.

I don't even get your conclusion. Who the hell said I want A+ girls to swarm me or I think they are stupid not to do so? I come here, sharing my weaknesses plus telling about my experiences with others, and like a vulture you start to feast on me. Yes, I dared to type that imo I'm average looking, yet you gun me a letter like I was saying I'm the David in the Hasselhoff and these stupid bitches just don't see how great I am.

Once again, I'm not against sobering slaps, I got some already in this thread during the years, but most of what you wrote was uncalled for an definitely not helpful in any way.

Your one interesting point is about my friend's approach, but after all this mess, I don't feel like reacting to it.
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
July 29 2016 23:09 GMT
#17303
you just had to ignore the bridge you are standing on is fire.

Aww yiss. This is starting well.

Don't know when, but when she was feeling hot, she took off her T-shirt, lol. She was sitting there for a good 5 minutes in a bra. How to not give a fuck 101.

Fuck, Volband, you sure know how to find them.

Another problem of mine is that while I'm focusing on her, I have no idea about the condition of my thing. And by that I mean I don't know how erect it is, I just don't feel the thing, it's like it doesn't even there, whether it's being jerked by her, or given head to, or being inside.

I can definitely relate to this. It's usually after I've already cum once, it just feels numb, easier to last longer though.

Oh, and she fucking licked her finger during that. Nice!! I'm not saying that was hot, but it was fucking hot.

HAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAAAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAH

Good story, a bit long perhaps. You derail very often :D
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
July 30 2016 02:34 GMT
#17304
Volband I love the way you tell the stories and your pretty brutal honesty. It's like a modern day Odyssey.
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
July 30 2016 04:42 GMT
#17305
It was also hard for me to come the first time I had sex. Next times you will be more relaxed and enjoy it more I'm sure.

Alternatively you could try not letting her anally violate you. Perhaps its just not your thing.
Volband
Profile Joined March 2011
Hungary6034 Posts
July 30 2016 07:33 GMT
#17306
On July 30 2016 11:34 WarSame wrote:
Volband I love the way you tell the stories and your pretty brutal honesty. It's like a modern day Odyssey.

Haha, thanks! It wouldn't worth a post otherwise. :D

On July 30 2016 08:09 bloodwhore~ wrote:
Fuck, Volband, you sure know how to find them.

I suppose it's high time I look in the mirror, but by and large I'm a rather normal person. It's not like I would frown upon an average night with a "normal" girl. I'm not even seeking trouble, it's just things getting from 0 to 100 rather fast lately.

I should probably just stay at home and play Solitaire.

On July 30 2016 13:42 B.I.G. wrote:
It was also hard for me to come the first time I had sex. Next times you will be more relaxed and enjoy it more I'm sure.

Alternatively you could try not letting her anally violate you. Perhaps its just not your thing.

That's a bit reassuring. I think I should be a bit more selfless, but the problem is that even if I get all the attention, if things don't go the way they are expected, I just got frustrated and self-conscious, which in return makes things definitely not go the way they are expected.

When she only fooled around anally on the outside, it was actually quite good, so when she asked if she could go further, I thought why not. But it was not the reason of me having troubles.
snailz
Profile Joined April 2011
Croatia900 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-07-30 07:46:02
July 30 2016 07:43 GMT
#17307
well shiet, CosmicSpiral completely rekt Volband, and he only scratched the surface of the real issues... i was kinda waiting for someone to do it, cuz i remember reading first few paragraphs of The Original and cringing so bad, and thinking someone would utterly destroy the guy. but as i went on, i enjoyed the sheer chaos of the story more and more. needless to say, the sequel delivered as well. so much so, that i was dissapointed with such a long intro, and even worried (?!) he wouldnt post the actual story for days. i cant describe the feeling really, its like going to a movie so bad its actually amazing.

oh volband <3
"I am saying that there are 300 current pros and semi-pros that have the potential to come in and dominate SC2 at any moment, with a latency of a few months from the day they switch." - intrigue
Volband
Profile Joined March 2011
Hungary6034 Posts
July 30 2016 07:52 GMT
#17308
On July 30 2016 16:43 snailz wrote:
well shiet, CosmicSpiral completely rekt Volband, and he only scratched the surface of the real issues... i was kinda waiting for someone to do it, cuz i remember reading first few paragraphs of The Original and cringing so bad, and thinking someone would utterly destroy the guy. but as i went on, i enjoyed the sheer chaos of the story more and more. needless to say, the sequel delivered as well. so much so, that i was dissapointed with such a long intro, and even worried (?!) he wouldnt post the actual story for days. i cant describe the feeling really, its like going to a movie so bad its actually amazing.

oh volband <3

Not sure if I should be offended by you thinking I would deserve to be destroyed or to be humbled that you actually enjoyed both stories. I think I'm gonna go with a mixture of both!
snailz
Profile Joined April 2011
Croatia900 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-07-30 08:03:28
July 30 2016 08:01 GMT
#17309
On July 30 2016 16:52 Volband wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 30 2016 16:43 snailz wrote:
well shiet, CosmicSpiral completely rekt Volband, and he only scratched the surface of the real issues... i was kinda waiting for someone to do it, cuz i remember reading first few paragraphs of The Original and cringing so bad, and thinking someone would utterly destroy the guy. but as i went on, i enjoyed the sheer chaos of the story more and more. needless to say, the sequel delivered as well. so much so, that i was dissapointed with such a long intro, and even worried (?!) he wouldnt post the actual story for days. i cant describe the feeling really, its like going to a movie so bad its actually amazing.

oh volband <3

Not sure if I should be offended by you thinking I would deserve to be destroyed or to be humbled that you actually enjoyed both stories. I think I'm gonna go with a mixture of both!


nah fam, you shouldnt be offended at all. i just dislike ur complete lack of self-awareness in some situations, but in the same time, when you couple that with brutal honesty in your story-telling, its your biggest pull. you'd make millions in hollywood xD

in example, thinking smoking>poopoo, while completely ignoring the fact that braces are usually the worse out of the three (or two, i honestly wouldnt know xD)... or how both stories u make this huge deal about money, even tho u never want to go into specifics, cuz it would probably turn out that chocolate is like a euro or smth and u dont want ppl to think ur cheap xD (and yes, i know the price is not the point, but the principle, but still)... etc etc etc :D
"I am saying that there are 300 current pros and semi-pros that have the potential to come in and dominate SC2 at any moment, with a latency of a few months from the day they switch." - intrigue
Skynx
Profile Blog Joined January 2013
Turkey7150 Posts
July 30 2016 11:08 GMT
#17310
I liked the first one more but keep them coming nonetheless Also no shame in getting rekt by Cosmic, he's in a level beyond our understanding.
"When seagulls follow the troller, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea. Thank you very much" - King Cantona | STX 4 eva
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
July 30 2016 17:14 GMT
#17311
Haha awesome one again, my friends have done stuff like that (rimjob, piss in her mouth for which she thanked him, jizz in his own eye...) but those are only those with 100plus women experienced in bed.

Also, yes you can call her straight up for sex, single mothers are used to that and anything but brutal honesty comes close to immoral territory when kids are involved.
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-07-30 18:00:01
July 30 2016 17:59 GMT
#17312
And yeah Cosmic is right in pretty much every point
Even when being condescending, not offering almost any practical advice and in some cases straight up being dick for no reason with the "Now, you should realize that you're contradicting yourself: by definition most women can't be the "most boring people on Earth"

But I've said it many times here
When you're starting out with this stuff of course you don't know what you're talking about, you don't have to have the right views, it's a near statistical impossibility even as you have no points of reference.


Only thing that matters is getting yourself into experiences, and I think I speak for all when I say you're winning in that area :D
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
July 30 2016 18:19 GMT
#17313
On July 31 2016 02:59 LemOn wrote:Only thing that matters is getting yourself into experiences, and I think I speak for all when I say you're winning in that area :D

I'd agree that experiences are good, but these dates are honestly super strange. Wouldn't say they are even remotely close to a 'normal' date. At least he can handle any worst case date scenario though :D
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7684 Posts
July 30 2016 20:19 GMT
#17314
i actually think the most important insight you showed about yourself volband is that you need more women friends. you may be starting later than some but i believe that some day in the near future you too will be a more fully realized human being like cosmic.

are you not entertained? is this not why you are here?
It is terrible to die of thirst at sea. Must you so salt your truth that it will no longer even slake thirst?
Godwrath
Profile Joined August 2012
Spain10167 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-07-30 20:58:35
July 30 2016 20:57 GMT
#17315
Volband, the being "too friendly" you said as it would make her get the wrong feeling about you two, is just untrue, you don't even know if she wants to have that with you for starters. The problem is if you are not being honest enough, but being friendly has a lot of positives in a fuckbuddies relationship if you want some of that too, just be open. And it will actually help you on to be more often around women other than sexually.
Volband
Profile Joined March 2011
Hungary6034 Posts
July 31 2016 13:12 GMT
#17316
A question about a different girl: I told her I will be free entirely on the next weekdays so we could meet up. She's in the pretty+smart category without any baggages, so basically getting anywhere with her is a much bigger challange, and the meeting at hand would be - as far as I know - about getting to know each other. She said "okay, we'll talk about it/the details." What do I say to that? Should I just tell her "all right, if you'll know when it'll be good for you, hit me up!" or should I say nothing and ask her like 2 days later again?

On July 31 2016 05:57 Godwrath wrote:
Volband, the being "too friendly" you said as it would make her get the wrong feeling about you two, is just untrue, you don't even know if she wants to have that with you for starters. The problem is if you are not being honest enough, but being friendly has a lot of positives in a fuckbuddies relationship if you want some of that too, just be open. And it will actually help you on to be more often around women other than sexually.

Well, she did ask me if I'm sure I don't want to a serious relationship, so it's a fair assumption she would. Or, to be more precise, she wanted when she asked that, I have no idea what is her honest opinion about the night. Yeah, she came, and yeah it was hella fun for the second time, but I mean, who is to say how highly (or lowly) she actually rated the night overall? I called her today if she'd like to meet, she said sure, but not sure about her schedule, so I used what I learned here and passed the ball to her court, telling her to msg or call me if she knows a date that"s good.

I think she won't dodge me, but I did not explicitly say anything about the next meeting. I want us to be on the same page, but I want to be tactful. Like, it just feels all kinds of wrong to use the words fuck, sex etc. while arranging it.

On July 31 2016 02:14 LemOn wrote:
Haha awesome one again, my friends have done stuff like that (rimjob, piss in her mouth for which she thanked him, jizz in his own eye...) but those are only those with 100plus women experienced in bed.

Also, yes you can call her straight up for sex, single mothers are used to that and anything but brutal honesty comes close to immoral territory when kids are involved.

Damn, pissing is something that is actually on my list.
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-07-31 13:51:08
July 31 2016 13:49 GMT
#17317
Well use playful words like a session of indoor olympics etc. Be creative Although a straight up text with profanity works well as well when you're on.the same page.

Girl 2 you complicated stuff, just ask her which day she's free next time.

Now I'd text her "Hey girl, do you prefer this Wednesday or Friday for our lil' meet up" - choice from 2 days that work for you and tell her what time and where she should meet you once she chooses. If she doesn't then withdraw the offer leave the ball in her court.
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
LemOn
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
United Kingdom8629 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-07-31 14:01:05
July 31 2016 14:00 GMT
#17318
On July 31 2016 05:57 Godwrath wrote:
Volband, the being "too friendly" you said as it would make her get the wrong feeling about you two, is just untrue, you don't even know if she wants to have that with you for starters. The problem is if you are not being honest enough, but being friendly has a lot of positives in a fuckbuddies relationship if you want some of that too, just be open. And it will actually help you on to be more often around women other than sexually.

Yeah I made the mistake early on in my adventures that when I didn't want a relationship I'd avoid being nice, because I was afraid to be straight up honest so instead I was a dick so they wouldn't get the wrong Idea. I'm not very proud of that.

I believe the right thing to do is treat everyone the same, all girls like great people, be friendly of course while keeping your honesty, stating clearly what you want, and how you feel, about good or bad things.

And leave it up to them what they do with it, as being courteous and honest without holding back or projecting their reactions is the the only right thing you can do.
Much is the father figure that I miss in my life. Go Daddy! DoC.LemOn, LemOn[5thF]
Volband
Profile Joined March 2011
Hungary6034 Posts
July 31 2016 14:39 GMT
#17319
I couldn't be a dick even if I wanted to. I mean, I'm a dick in general, but I could not imagine not being at least someone affectionate towards someone I'm intimate with. Like, I can't ever imagine me being in a situatuion where I'm like gloating to my friends "loool, I fucked this stupid bitch, haha!!!". And that's my fear also. because I don't think I could pull off the just sex thing for too long. I like hugs and cuddling, and sadly, I would get to like her more. It's not an issue right now, but it will be - assuming we'll meet again, don't want to state anything for sure.
Volband
Profile Joined March 2011
Hungary6034 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-08-01 17:23:34
August 01 2016 17:09 GMT
#17320
Damn, kinda killed the thread

She (Kate) called me an hour ago, asking me if I'd still fancy a meeting. I said sure, and then she went on how we could make a trip there, there and there. I was like mmmmmmmmm yeah, that sounds good, but... will we stay the night? She said she thought about just walking around, visiting places because she does not have a place of her own, to which I replied we (aka me) rent out a room for a night somewhere. But I asked her to tell me what kind of meeting she'd like, so we are on the same page, and when I asked her if she'd like something like the last time she gave me a "suuuuure" with her (very rare) girly voice.

Which is a good sign, but I'm just getting more and more anxious about this all. Like, if I can't fuck her properly now, my self-esteem would just plummet back (not to mention that a sex-relationship without proper sex is not exactly destined to last long), but if I keep thinking about it, it just hinders me. I wasted two condoms today while trying to unsuccessfully put them on, LOL. How stupid would it be to go in bareback? Is it fine to ask her for that medical paper which states she was examined and found healthy? Though even if she is, I'm still not practiced in the arts of pulling out, and we are talking about someone who is prone to getting pregnant.

edit: wow, the other girl said wednesday would be okay. hahaha, I would've betted an arm of mine the schedules would conflict and I'd be presented with yet another choice. Just kill me.
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