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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On March 09 2016 19:05 bloodwhore~ wrote: I don't even know why you would try to look for a "gamer girl". I haven't heard of a single positive aspect about them, if we're talking about the girls who actually calls themselves "gamer girls".
Having said that, somewhat nerdy girls are more enjoyable to talk to in my opinion. Way more fun when you have a more things in common. Your sense of humor definitely matches better with girls who are a bit nerdy compared to really normal "i like to hang out with my friends and party" girls. (Generalized a bit but whatever.)
I think the term people are looking for is "girl gamer", which is completely different to "gamer girl". One is a girl that happens to play games, the other is a girl that plays games for attention.
Personally, I'd prefer a girl that would spend the weekend watching esports tournaments with me, but those are pretty impossible to find in my small corner of Germany. Doubly so since I also only watch in English, which many Germans can't understand properly despite it being mandatory in school from age 10 or so. Couldn't care less whether she actively plays games, but I will watch tournaments whether she likes it or not and I expect her to share my excitement for things that happen. I don't have many requirements, but that is one I won't give up, and probably one that will keep me forever alone
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On March 09 2016 19:49 Morfildur wrote:I think the term people are looking for is "girl gamer", which is completely different to "gamer girl". One is a girl that happens to play games, the other is a girl that plays games for attention. Personally, I'd prefer a girl that would spend the weekend watching esports tournaments with me, but those are pretty impossible to find in my small corner of Germany. Doubly so since I also only watch in English, which many Germans can't understand properly despite it being mandatory in school from age 10 or so. Couldn't care less whether she actively plays games, but I will watch tournaments whether she likes it or not and I expect her to share my excitement for things that happen. I don't have many requirements, but that is one I won't give up, and probably one that will keep me forever alone  I agree with your girl gamer statement.
I wouldn't say it is impossible to find one though. However you can't just look at a girl and go "yeah she plays counter strike" either.
Lets take me for example, there is no way nobody could tell I play dota 2 by the way I dress/act. And it's not like I hang around some internet cafe playing dota 2 either so there isn't a specific place you could find me playing dota 2 or other guys like me.
If you really want to find someone with your hobbies I honestly think online dating is your best choice. However I don't think many girls are attracted to other gamers just because they are gamers so stating "I play dota 2 and I'm looking for a girl who also plays dota 2" will most likely not work at all.
TL:DR Give up on finding a specific person.
edit: Maybe don't give up, but it shouldn't be your top priority looking for a girl.
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On March 09 2016 19:49 Morfildur wrote:Show nested quote +On March 09 2016 19:05 bloodwhore~ wrote: I don't even know why you would try to look for a "gamer girl". I haven't heard of a single positive aspect about them, if we're talking about the girls who actually calls themselves "gamer girls".
Having said that, somewhat nerdy girls are more enjoyable to talk to in my opinion. Way more fun when you have a more things in common. Your sense of humor definitely matches better with girls who are a bit nerdy compared to really normal "i like to hang out with my friends and party" girls. (Generalized a bit but whatever.) I think the term people are looking for is "girl gamer", which is completely different to "gamer girl". One is a girl that happens to play games, the other is a girl that plays games for attention. Personally, I'd prefer a girl that would spend the weekend watching esports tournaments with me, but those are pretty impossible to find in my small corner of Germany. Doubly so since I also only watch in English, which many Germans can't understand properly despite it being mandatory in school from age 10 or so. Couldn't care less whether she actively plays games, but I will watch tournaments whether she likes it or not and I expect her to share my excitement for things that happen. I don't have many requirements, but that is one I won't give up, and probably one that will keep me forever alone 
Agreed, which is why I tried clarifying with "Or at least someone who understands and accepts that part of your life."
I'm pretty lucky... my fiancee understands my passion for gaming (and she's played video games pretty regularly growing up, and she even plays some BW, SC2, Diablo, and N64 games with me); we even went out to a Barcraft together in Philadelphia a few years ago, where she ended up winning IPL3 tickets and then we ended up going to Atlantic City together to see the tournament
She doesn't play games non-stop and she's not as big on them as I am, but she respects and understands when I want to throw a stream on in the background as I do work (she does the same with her television shows) or dedicate some time to grinding out some games (sometimes she'll join in and sometimes she'll just do her own hobbies). It's more about the mutual respect and understanding and not "Why do you play those wtf you're not a little kid anymore stop playing those video games I don't get it". Of course, to be fair, one can't be so obsessive to the point that you're actually ignoring your significant other and making them feel less important! Priorities, always She recognizes when my eyes light up and I get really excited about something, and she respects that even if she doesn't share equal passion for it. And I do the same for her.
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Eh why do I need to be so horny went out on my birthday with gf. She asked "What do you have planned for next week" I told her what and she said "because I'm sick, had probably a fever last night and have a cold so if we do stuff you will most likely get it too"
Needless to say. I'm home with the fever. But who can blame a guy
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Well, if you were out on a date chances are you would have gotten it regardless of any hanky panky.
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Hopefully it was worth it
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On March 09 2016 19:58 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +On March 09 2016 19:49 Morfildur wrote:I think the term people are looking for is "girl gamer", which is completely different to "gamer girl". One is a girl that happens to play games, the other is a girl that plays games for attention. Personally, I'd prefer a girl that would spend the weekend watching esports tournaments with me, but those are pretty impossible to find in my small corner of Germany. Doubly so since I also only watch in English, which many Germans can't understand properly despite it being mandatory in school from age 10 or so. Couldn't care less whether she actively plays games, but I will watch tournaments whether she likes it or not and I expect her to share my excitement for things that happen. I don't have many requirements, but that is one I won't give up, and probably one that will keep me forever alone  I agree with your girl gamer statement. I wouldn't say it is impossible to find one though. However you can't just look at a girl and go "yeah she plays counter strike" either. Lets take me for example, there is no way nobody could tell I play dota 2 by the way I dress/act. And it's not like I hang around some internet cafe playing dota 2 either so there isn't a specific place you could find me playing dota 2 or other guys like me. If you really want to find someone with your hobbies I honestly think online dating is your best choice. However I don't think many girls are attracted to other gamers just because they are gamers so stating "I play dota 2 and I'm looking for a girl who also plays dota 2" will most likely not work at all. TL:DR Give up on finding a specific person. edit: Maybe don't give up, but it shouldn't be your top priority looking for a girl. meh try to find someone who is like "wow i dont know what dota is but id love to learn it maybe" instead of "GOD DAMN UR ANTI MAGE IS DOG SHIT U FUCKIN LIL FUCK"
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On March 11 2016 16:45 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On March 09 2016 19:58 bloodwhore~ wrote:On March 09 2016 19:49 Morfildur wrote:I think the term people are looking for is "girl gamer", which is completely different to "gamer girl". One is a girl that happens to play games, the other is a girl that plays games for attention. Personally, I'd prefer a girl that would spend the weekend watching esports tournaments with me, but those are pretty impossible to find in my small corner of Germany. Doubly so since I also only watch in English, which many Germans can't understand properly despite it being mandatory in school from age 10 or so. Couldn't care less whether she actively plays games, but I will watch tournaments whether she likes it or not and I expect her to share my excitement for things that happen. I don't have many requirements, but that is one I won't give up, and probably one that will keep me forever alone  I agree with your girl gamer statement. I wouldn't say it is impossible to find one though. However you can't just look at a girl and go "yeah she plays counter strike" either. Lets take me for example, there is no way nobody could tell I play dota 2 by the way I dress/act. And it's not like I hang around some internet cafe playing dota 2 either so there isn't a specific place you could find me playing dota 2 or other guys like me. If you really want to find someone with your hobbies I honestly think online dating is your best choice. However I don't think many girls are attracted to other gamers just because they are gamers so stating "I play dota 2 and I'm looking for a girl who also plays dota 2" will most likely not work at all. TL:DR Give up on finding a specific person. edit: Maybe don't give up, but it shouldn't be your top priority looking for a girl. meh try to find someone who is like "wow i dont know what dota is but id love to learn it maybe" instead of "GOD DAMN UR ANTI MAGE IS DOG SHIT U FUCKIN LIL FUCK" Yeah but I feel like the girl already has to have some sort of familiarity with gaming. My girlfriend and I go to the same college but are from different cities, so during break I gifted her a copy of portal 2 so that we could do something fun over break. Not the greatest move. She never has really played games on the computer much and playing it with her was a major struggle lol. Maybe I just didn't do a good job of inspiring confidence in her but it basically boiled down to "Do this. No, not that. Over there. Yeah. Ok now do this"
In the past I probably would have wanted a girl that was into games too. After all, it gives you something in common to talk about, and tons of things to do together. But I don't think it's really that important (to me at least) for a girl to have the same interests I would expect my guy friends to have. I don't understand why you would want your girlfriend to be just like "one of the guys". Girls will never be "one of the guys", it's just not how it works.
Edit: I'm not saying girls can't be into video games but I guess I'm saying don't only look for a girlfriend that is basically like one of your guy friends, but a girl.
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I complained about women not approaching men, well seems like someone was listening. Since it is semester break and a few fortunate things led to me having actual free time, I started to go swimming again. There’s a girl that plays some water sport, but when I swim she overlooks the training of a group of swimmers. She chatted me up a few times when I was done swimming. First time was if I am interested in joining a swimming team, second time was about my waterproof mp3-player and after that just random stuff and joking while I was waiting for my legs not to fail me after getting out of the water.
She chatted me up again today in the train. Basically she checked if I was single, had free time and if she is my type but in a very clever way. The questions always were indirect and well stretched out with lots of distraction in-between. End was her getting off with “See you Saturday after swimming for a coffee”, right when she stepped out of the train. Literally took me a moment to realize I just got picked up lol. Probably won’t lead to anything, but for that boss approach she definitely earned her date. Take note ladies (the 2 of you that are in here ), that’s a way to do it.
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On March 11 2016 19:27 waffelz wrote:I complained about women not approaching men, well seems like someone was listening. Since it is semester break and a few fortunate things led to me having actual free time, I started to go swimming again. There’s a girl that plays some water sport, but when I swim she overlooks the training of a group of swimmers. She chatted me up a few times when I was done swimming. First time was if I am interested in joining a swimming team, second time was about my waterproof mp3-player and after that just random stuff and joking while I was waiting for my legs not to fail me after getting out of the water. She chatted me up again today in the train. Basically she checked if I was single, had free time and if she is my type but in a very clever way. The questions always were indirect and well stretched out with lots of distraction in-between. End was her getting off with “See you Saturday after swimming for a coffee”, right when she stepped out of the train. Literally took me a moment to realize I just got picked up lol. Probably won’t lead to anything, but for that boss approach she definitely earned her date. Take note ladies (the 2 of you that are in here  ), that’s a way to do it. AWWW YIISSSSS!
Why don't you think it will lead anywhere?
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On March 11 2016 19:49 bloodwhore~ wrote: AWWW YIISSSSS!
Why don't you think it will lead anywhere?
I am an emotional snail. Takes some time for me to develop an emotional connection to someone of any kind, let alone a crush. We will see, but as I said: For that approach she deserved not to get brushed off. And since she literally asked me out as she where getting off and I don’t have any means to contact her I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Clever girl.
EDIT: Or I am misreading things and the swimming team recruits pretty aggressively
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On March 11 2016 20:12 waffelz wrote:Show nested quote +On March 11 2016 19:49 bloodwhore~ wrote: AWWW YIISSSSS!
Why don't you think it will lead anywhere? I am an emotional snail. Takes some time for me to develop an emotional connection to someone of any kind, let alone a crush. We will see, but as I said: For that approach she deserved not to get brushed off. And since she literally asked me out as she where getting off and I don’t have any means to contact her I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Clever girl. EDIT: Or I am misreading things and the swimming team recruits pretty aggressively  Haha ok, well good luck 
Nah pretty sure she likes you if she strikes up conversations and asks for coffee
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Amazing start, very clever, just go with it and enjoy getting to know somebody new. I tend to keep thoughts about a possible relationship away and just go with the flow of the conversation. Honestly try to find out who she is, what she LIKES to do (for people working that means not what you do, but what do you enjoy doing, it might be work, but it mighn't be) and so forth.
cheers and HF
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Aw fuck. Last girl I dated who wasn't over her ex started messaging me. Fuck, she has literally just sent two texts and I already like her way more than the current one I'm dating.
T-minus until something crashes and burns - 10 seconds.
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On March 11 2016 21:58 Artisreal wrote: Amazing start, very clever, just go with it and enjoy getting to know somebody new. I tend to keep thoughts about a possible relationship away and just go with the flow of the conversation. Honestly try to find out who she is, what she LIKES to do (for people working that means not what you do, but what do you enjoy doing, it might be work, but it mighn't be) and so forth.
cheers and HF
Yeah no worries, I am not the type to immediately imagine a relationship. I also rather go with the flow and find out if she’s a nice person to be around. The line about it probably not leading to anything I wrote because I assume her idea of this differs a bit. I will see how it goes and either meet her again or kindly explain to her that I literally can’t remember the names of most people I am around just recently^^. Luckily I am fairly confident I remember hers correctly 
EDIT: @bloodwhore: maybe slow down a bit? You went from our mascot to a dating-machinegun it seems/it still seems occasionally that you browse through girls like through a catalogue :D
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On March 11 2016 22:53 waffelz wrote:EDIT: @bloodwhore: maybe slow down a bit? You went from our mascot to a dating-machinegun it seems/it still seems occasionally that you browse through girls like through a catalogue :D
I don't do anything half assed . Hehe nah, it just have turned out that way. I could have pictured myself in relationship with at least 3-4 of the girls I've dated so far. Sounds kind of fucked up though to have dated so many, 11 girls in one year is a lot for most people I think.
No need to worry about me having to slow down. I don't even know what her intention was of talking to me and I won't read into it so much. I did tell her that she should let me know when she was free again. Maybe she is over her ex now, or she just to talk. We'll see what happens but I don't anything will actually happen with her again.
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On March 11 2016 19:27 waffelz wrote:I complained about women not approaching men, well seems like someone was listening. Since it is semester break and a few fortunate things led to me having actual free time, I started to go swimming again. There’s a girl that plays some water sport, but when I swim she overlooks the training of a group of swimmers. She chatted me up a few times when I was done swimming. First time was if I am interested in joining a swimming team, second time was about my waterproof mp3-player and after that just random stuff and joking while I was waiting for my legs not to fail me after getting out of the water. She chatted me up again today in the train. Basically she checked if I was single, had free time and if she is my type but in a very clever way. The questions always were indirect and well stretched out with lots of distraction in-between. End was her getting off with “See you Saturday after swimming for a coffee”, right when she stepped out of the train. Literally took me a moment to realize I just got picked up lol. Probably won’t lead to anything, but for that boss approach she definitely earned her date. Take note ladies (the 2 of you that are in here  ), that’s a way to do it.
cue all of the TL singles going to the swimming pool tomorrow.
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On March 11 2016 19:27 waffelz wrote:I complained about women not approaching men, well seems like someone was listening. Since it is semester break and a few fortunate things led to me having actual free time, I started to go swimming again. There’s a girl that plays some water sport, but when I swim she overlooks the training of a group of swimmers. She chatted me up a few times when I was done swimming. First time was if I am interested in joining a swimming team, second time was about my waterproof mp3-player and after that just random stuff and joking while I was waiting for my legs not to fail me after getting out of the water. She chatted me up again today in the train. Basically she checked if I was single, had free time and if she is my type but in a very clever way. The questions always were indirect and well stretched out with lots of distraction in-between. End was her getting off with “See you Saturday after swimming for a coffee”, right when she stepped out of the train. Literally took me a moment to realize I just got picked up lol. Probably won’t lead to anything, but for that boss approach she definitely earned her date. Take note ladies (the 2 of you that are in here  ), that’s a way to do it.
Well done by her! A confident and coy woman
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On March 11 2016 19:27 waffelz wrote:I complained about women not approaching men, well seems like someone was listening. Since it is semester break and a few fortunate things led to me having actual free time, I started to go swimming again. There’s a girl that plays some water sport, but when I swim she overlooks the training of a group of swimmers. She chatted me up a few times when I was done swimming. First time was if I am interested in joining a swimming team, second time was about my waterproof mp3-player and after that just random stuff and joking while I was waiting for my legs not to fail me after getting out of the water. She chatted me up again today in the train. Basically she checked if I was single, had free time and if she is my type but in a very clever way. The questions always were indirect and well stretched out with lots of distraction in-between. End was her getting off with “See you Saturday after swimming for a coffee”, right when she stepped out of the train. Literally took me a moment to realize I just got picked up lol. Probably won’t lead to anything, but for that boss approach she definitely earned her date. Take note ladies (the 2 of you that are in here  ), that’s a way to do it. what's wrong with you man what do you mean won't lead anywhere thats like the surest thing ever
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On March 12 2016 08:45 LemOn wrote: what's wrong with you man what do you mean won't lead anywhere thats like the surest thing ever
As I said, I am an emotional snail and in general when it comes to meeting people. I recognize faces and actions well, but names I hardly remember and the people attached to them are pretty neutral to me for a long time with very few exceptions. At this time she pretty much could be a dude. It’s not seeing no chance of success for me, but for her ;-). Reasons why I will meet her are simply: - Her approach was boss and earned her a chance - I just recently complained about this kind of stuff almost never happening to a men - She could be a nice person to spend some time with - I don't have much else to do at the moment - There isn't a possible negative outcome therefore it would be stupid not to go
And besides cancelling right when we ae about to go I actually don’t have a choice because her approach was boss.
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