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Dating: How's your luck? - Page 806

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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
March 06 2016 19:37 GMT
#16101
Fitness plays no role in dating.
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
March 06 2016 20:27 GMT
#16102
Well I wouldn't want to be with someone who was lazy/unhealthy or generally unfit. The first girl I asked out was really unfit, super skinny, but she had absurdly bad maximal aerobic capacity. We went on a walk and she would almost get winded.

I train 5+ times per week so I guess I expect someone who is somewhat active.

Wouldn't say it matters much other than that you might not be attracted to the person.
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
Kleinmuuhg
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Vanuatu4091 Posts
March 06 2016 23:36 GMT
#16103
Fitness is like all other attributes or hobbies.. to some it matters, to some it doesnt, and some dont like it.
This is our town, scrub
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45921 Posts
March 07 2016 01:05 GMT
#16104
On March 07 2016 08:36 Kleinmuuhg wrote:
Fitness is like all other attributes or hobbies.. to some it matters, to some it doesnt, and some dont like it.


Exactly. If you meet someone who's a regular at the gym or an athlete, they may very well be big on fitness.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Deleted User 261926
Profile Joined April 2012
960 Posts
March 07 2016 06:22 GMT
#16105
Well, surely it is better to be fit than to not be fit? How can you "not like" fitness unless you're talking about some extreme dedication to it that completely shuts down all other hobbies/interests?
evilfatsh1t
Profile Joined October 2010
Australia8865 Posts
March 07 2016 07:50 GMT
#16106
well i hate driving to the gym....so
if were talking fitness as in going to gym. i like football (soccer) a lot but people dont associate sports with fitness much for some reason
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45921 Posts
March 07 2016 09:43 GMT
#16107
On March 07 2016 15:22 Karpfen wrote:
Well, surely it is better to be fit than to not be fit? How can you "not like" fitness unless you're talking about some extreme dedication to it that completely shuts down all other hobbies/interests?


It's what people choose to prioritize or consider to be a hobby. It's not that people dislike being in shape, but it's more about the degree in which they exercise and take care of their bodies.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
SMaD
Profile Joined September 2010
Spain137 Posts
March 07 2016 09:54 GMT
#16108
I'm currently very into fitness/powerlifting and, in my limited experience, I don't think that staying physically fit would help you date more if you lack conversational/social skills. It won't attract more girls or improve your success rate in terms of dating.

That said, I don't see myself dating someone who doesn't practice some kind of sport/gym as I find the stay active/healthy lifestyle very attractive in a partner.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45921 Posts
March 07 2016 10:01 GMT
#16109
That makes sense, that you'd be attracted to someone with similar tastes, likes, and hobbies as yourself

And I agree that there's no substitute for being able to make good conversation.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Deleted User 101379
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
4849 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-03-07 10:26:28
March 07 2016 10:26 GMT
#16110
On March 07 2016 19:01 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
And I agree that there's no substitute for being able to make good conversation.


Well, that's all my hopes destroyed. Thanks.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45921 Posts
March 07 2016 11:55 GMT
#16111
On March 07 2016 19:26 Morfildur wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 07 2016 19:01 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
And I agree that there's no substitute for being able to make good conversation.


Well, that's all my hopes destroyed. Thanks.


Well I guess if you have a lot of money or a large penis... or is that three strikes for you?

In all seriousness though, one can work on improving their conversational skills
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Deleted User 101379
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
4849 Posts
March 07 2016 12:18 GMT
#16112
On March 07 2016 20:55 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 07 2016 19:26 Morfildur wrote:
On March 07 2016 19:01 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
And I agree that there's no substitute for being able to make good conversation.


Well, that's all my hopes destroyed. Thanks.


Well I guess if you have a lot of money or a large penis... or is that three strikes for you?

In all seriousness though, one can work on improving their conversational skills


It was mostly just one of my very typical self-deprecating jokes

Honestly, though, I actually worked on my conversational skills a few years back, they were the reason why I went into casting SC2, doing Let's Plays and other video stuff. It helped, despite me being terrible at either of those. I can now speak fluently without thinking about each sentence for two minutes before discarding it unspoken because it stopped being relevant 1 minute 59 seconds ago, but in the end I'm still the second most boring person in the world, especially for people that are not into esports (which, it turns out, is 99.9% of the world and 99.999% of the women) and I'm an awful liar, so I'm bad at pretending to be interesting as well.

Becoming physically fit was my last hope, and now, after I lost 15kg to get to an average weight and even gained a few muscles, you said it's all for nothing. I could have eaten so much Pizza in the last few months that I was dieting instead!

Well, I do earn slightly above average money, so maybe there is still hope
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45921 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-03-07 12:37:10
March 07 2016 12:35 GMT
#16113
On March 07 2016 21:18 Morfildur wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 07 2016 20:55 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On March 07 2016 19:26 Morfildur wrote:
On March 07 2016 19:01 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
And I agree that there's no substitute for being able to make good conversation.


Well, that's all my hopes destroyed. Thanks.


Well I guess if you have a lot of money or a large penis... or is that three strikes for you?

In all seriousness though, one can work on improving their conversational skills


It was mostly just one of my very typical self-deprecating jokes

Honestly, though, I actually worked on my conversational skills a few years back, they were the reason why I went into casting SC2, doing Let's Plays and other video stuff. It helped, despite me being terrible at either of those. I can now speak fluently without thinking about each sentence for two minutes before discarding it unspoken because it stopped being relevant 1 minute 59 seconds ago, but in the end I'm still the second most boring person in the world, especially for people that are not into esports (which, it turns out, is 99.9% of the world and 99.999% of the women) and I'm an awful liar, so I'm bad at pretending to be interesting as well.

Becoming physically fit was my last hope, and now, after I lost 15kg to get to an average weight and even gained a few muscles, you said it's all for nothing. I could have eaten so much Pizza in the last few months that I was dieting instead!

Well, I do earn slightly above average money, so maybe there is still hope


I'm a really bad liar too, so I just try to approach a new person or conversation with a genuine interest in learning from a unique perspective, and recognize that this stranger is as passionate about X (even if I'm not) as I am about my favorite things They won't expect you to love everything they love, but they'll hope you won't be dismissive.

And why do you think you're boring? You could either try new things and see if you like anything new... or you could just be happy with what you currently love doing

Honestly, based on all the negatives you've pointed out about yourself, the most important one is your lack of confidence. You don't have to be an arrogant prick, but you should feel good and happy about the things you do and like. And if you don't, then find something to do or like that does make you feel good and happy!
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Jer99
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
Canada8159 Posts
March 07 2016 12:55 GMT
#16114
After bulking up a bit, I've definitely noticed women take more interest in me than before
StrategyTaeJa #1 || @TL_Jer99 || "seeker seeked out his seeking"
Souldivnr
Profile Joined September 2015
Cuba127 Posts
March 07 2016 14:51 GMT
#16115
I dont think women care much about how much muscle do you have, but they surely prefer you to not be fatty.
"Puppey is always the BOSS"- XBOCT 2016
Uldridge
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Belgium5159 Posts
March 07 2016 16:13 GMT
#16116
On March 07 2016 23:51 Souldivnr wrote:
I dont think women care much about how much muscle do you have, but they surely prefer you to not be fatty.


Some women do, some women don't. It's entirely dependent on what the person's mindset is..
Taxes are for Terrans
GoTuNk!
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
Chile4591 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-03-07 16:33:33
March 07 2016 16:32 GMT
#16117
If you are either fat or skinny it makes a huge difference.
Also, not being fat or skinny helps people a lot with their confidence, wich obviously helps with dating.

However, when you switch from going out 2-3x a week to 1x or less a week to train better, you get less shots ;(.

My experience:

[image loading]
Dingodile
Profile Joined December 2011
4139 Posts
March 07 2016 20:11 GMT
#16118
well there is a difference between 1x4h and 2x2h weekly gym. You are equally strong but with 2x2h you look bigger and your muscles are softer.
Grubby | ToD | Moon | Lyn | Sky
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
March 07 2016 20:15 GMT
#16119
On March 08 2016 01:32 GoTuNk! wrote:
My experience: [picture]

LOL. That picture is really accurate. Other guys care about you being swole way more than girls.
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45921 Posts
March 07 2016 20:25 GMT
#16120
"This video contains content from Magnolia, who has blocked it in your country on copyright grounds."
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
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