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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
Update:
This weekend she went to a party and got drunk, slept with a guy for unknown reason and called me the morning after. We met, we talked, I broke up with her and everyone is miserable. Guess I am lucky I only wasted a few month instead of years this time.
To add icing on the cake, a girl I only occasionally have contact with and therefore didn’t knew about this or my relationship asked me if I am interested in being “friends with benefits”. Quote: “You can just fuck around, there is no problem with that”. Yes my dear, I have been made terribly aware of that. This is just stupid.
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On November 05 2015 08:16 waffelz wrote:
Update:
This weekend she went to a party and got drunk, slept with a guy for unknown reason and called me the morning after. We met, we talked, I broke up with her and everyone is miserable. Guess I am lucky I only wasted a few month instead of years this time.
To add icing on the cake, a girl I only occasionally have contact with and therefore didn’t knew about this or my relationship asked me if I am interested in being “friends with benefits”. Quote: “You can just fuck around, there is no problem with that”. Yes my dear, I have been made terribly aware of that. This is just stupid.
We've actually talked about it with the girl I'm dating, in detail.
I openly told her I had sex with other girls when we first started dating, she didn't mind. But when I told her I was cuddling with one of the girls I didn't even go all the way with, she got super jealous. For girls emotional bond/cheating is somehow worse than physical. And I told her that for men sex with someone else, no matter how emotionless is like way worse than connecting emotionally with an old friend.
Anyways, to get to the point you agreed that you are exclusive at some point yeah? Did she call you your boyfriend?
If she did then making out, some hands on action with a stranger is easily forgivable when fucked up, but to go out, get drunk, make out, leave the party, be outside, go home with him, get undressed, put a condom on (hopefully) have sex just can't happen without consent and the person knowing what she's doing. So we agreed there's no way back from that, and a good decision indeed my friend - it's been only a couple months anyways right?
Oh and also why is it *wasted time*? I really wouldn't turn back time on any of my past relationships, I learned from every single one and had fun on top of that too, just one more experience to boot
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On November 05 2015 08:15 LemOn wrote:Show nested quote +On November 05 2015 07:23 IgnE wrote:
Movies are a terrible date unless you are trying to fuck and I know that won't be happening. ? Movies at your place are the best. So easy to get laid if you just listen to Lemon's advice :D
Not if you're starting to date someone though. Dates should use activities that elicit conversation, not two people sitting in the dark and not talking for hours. Especially in a movie theater, where you can't pause the movie or interrupt.
If you're looking to "Netflix and chill" or you two are already comfortable enough to start hooking up during a movie, then yeah, a movie at your place is good.
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On November 05 2015 08:37 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On November 05 2015 08:15 LemOn wrote:On November 05 2015 07:23 IgnE wrote:
Movies are a terrible date unless you are trying to fuck and I know that won't be happening. ? Movies at your place are the best. So easy to get laid if you just listen to Lemon's advice :D Not if you're starting to date someone though. Dates should use activities that elicit conversation, not two people sitting in the dark and not talking for hours. Especially in a movie theater, where you can't pause the movie or interrupt. If you're looking to "Netflix and chill" or you two are already comfortable enough to start hooking up during a movie, then yeah, a movie at your place is good.
You can't go wrong with a movie at your place, if yes then you're not doing it right really. It's completely different from the cinema, as long as you have a couch and not separate chairs. And you don't have to be comfortable beforehand, you make her comfortable DURING  Worked every time, and is my go-to activity when I want to get laid or progress stuff sexually in a relationship.
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On November 05 2015 08:25 LemOn wrote:
We've actually talked about it with the girl I'm dating, in detail.
I openly told her I had sex with other girls when we first started dating, she didn't mind. But when I told her I was cuddling with one of the girls I didn't even go all the way with, she got super jealous. For girls emotional bond/cheating is somehow worse than physical. And I told her that for men sex with someone else, no matter how emotionless is like way worse than connecting emotionally with an old friend.
Anyways, to get to the point you agreed that you are exclusive at some point yeah? Did she call you your boyfriend?
If she did then making out, some hands on action with a stranger is easily forgivable when fucked up, but to go out, get drunk, make out, leave the party, be outside, go home with him, get undressed, put a condom on (hopefully) have sex just can't happen without consent and the person knowing what she's doing. So we agreed there's no way back from that, and a good decision indeed my friend - it's been only a couple months anyways right?
Oh and also why is it *wasted time*? I really wouldn't turn back time on any of my past relationships, I learned from every single one and had fun on top of that too, just one more experience to boot
Yes, we were officially a couple and also both made clear to each other that this means exclusiveness.
And it was a waste of time because I suck at dealing with any betrayal from certain people. Sure there is some experience you can gain from it, but it is not worth the effort I put in and the aftermath. If a relationship just ends without major drama you can at least look back at it as a nice memory, but cheating just makes me wish it never happened since all my efforts where just wasted. It is also most likely going to negatively affect me on further searches for a relationship.
Plus there isn’t even a good lesson to be learned here, despite that shit happens. The last time this happened I could at least say in retrospect that there were some hints, but this time it just came out of the blue while also being completely incomprehensible to me, which infuriates me. Including the guy she cheated on me with. He actually shares some classes with me and now he hides from me at university. He is not avoiding me, he is actually hiding from me. He didn’t show up to the seminars we share which means that he can’t take a few exams this semester, which also makes him unable to take multiple classes next semester.
I don’t blame him for what happened, but if he is really that afraid of me, which I find insulting in itself, why did he not think about it before? And since she seemed quite devastated by me breaking up with her, why didn’t she think about it before? She knew that there is no coming back from that to me. Conclusion: I suck at dealing with this.
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On November 05 2015 08:41 LemOn wrote:Show nested quote +On November 05 2015 08:37 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On November 05 2015 08:15 LemOn wrote:On November 05 2015 07:23 IgnE wrote:
Movies are a terrible date unless you are trying to fuck and I know that won't be happening. ? Movies at your place are the best. So easy to get laid if you just listen to Lemon's advice :D Not if you're starting to date someone though. Dates should use activities that elicit conversation, not two people sitting in the dark and not talking for hours. Especially in a movie theater, where you can't pause the movie or interrupt. If you're looking to "Netflix and chill" or you two are already comfortable enough to start hooking up during a movie, then yeah, a movie at your place is good. You can't go wrong with a movie at your place, if yes then you're not doing it right really. It's completely different from the cinema, as long as you have a couch and not separate chairs. And you don't have to be comfortable beforehand, you make her comfortable DURING Worked every time, and is my go-to activity when I want to get laid or progress stuff sexually in a relationship.
Yeah that's all fine and true to an extent, but bloodwhore is a virgin and meeting this girl for the first time. 0% chance of him successfully escalating to sex at a netflix and chill session at his house unless the girl is just super desperate for sex and jumps him from the get go. But I get the feeling he wouldn't even be able to perform, likely because he's a virgin and it'd a bit weird for a stranger you just met to jump you and move straight to sex.
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On November 05 2015 10:21 IgnE wrote:Show nested quote +On November 05 2015 08:41 LemOn wrote:On November 05 2015 08:37 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On November 05 2015 08:15 LemOn wrote:On November 05 2015 07:23 IgnE wrote:
Movies are a terrible date unless you are trying to fuck and I know that won't be happening. ? Movies at your place are the best. So easy to get laid if you just listen to Lemon's advice :D Not if you're starting to date someone though. Dates should use activities that elicit conversation, not two people sitting in the dark and not talking for hours. Especially in a movie theater, where you can't pause the movie or interrupt. If you're looking to "Netflix and chill" or you two are already comfortable enough to start hooking up during a movie, then yeah, a movie at your place is good. You can't go wrong with a movie at your place, if yes then you're not doing it right really. It's completely different from the cinema, as long as you have a couch and not separate chairs. And you don't have to be comfortable beforehand, you make her comfortable DURING Worked every time, and is my go-to activity when I want to get laid or progress stuff sexually in a relationship. Yeah that's all fine and true to an extent, but bloodwhore is a virgin and meeting this girl for the first time. 0% chance of him successfully escalating to sex at a netflix and chill session at his house unless the girl is just super desperate for sex and jumps him from the get go. But I get the feeling he wouldn't even be able to perform, likely because he's a virgin and it'd a bit weird for a stranger you just met to jump you and move straight to sex.
Yeah that would be a red light for me, but only because I never liked sleeping around or just doing superficial hookups. A few girls tried getting me into bed on a first date and that just wasn't my style. It was more of a turnoff than anything else.
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On November 05 2015 08:16 waffelz wrote:
Update:
This weekend she went to a party and got drunk, slept with a guy for unknown reason and called me the morning after. We met, we talked, I broke up with her and everyone is miserable. Guess I am lucky I only wasted a few month instead of years this time.
To add icing on the cake, a girl I only occasionally have contact with and therefore didn’t knew about this or my relationship asked me if I am interested in being “friends with benefits”. Quote: “You can just fuck around, there is no problem with that”. Yes my dear, I have been made terribly aware of that. This is just stupid.
How long did you last? Could've sworn it was only yesterday you were telling us how you met her. Were you the one who punched her in the face?
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On November 05 2015 10:38 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:
How long did you last? Could've sworn it was only yesterday you were telling us how you met her. Were you the one who punched her in the face?
About 3 month since dating stopped and we became a couple, so your right it is not a long time. I still take it serious. And I technically knocked her out with a kick to the inner leg. I don't go face in training/practice, its to dangerous.
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On November 05 2015 10:47 waffelz wrote:Show nested quote +On November 05 2015 10:38 [UoN]Sentinel wrote:
How long did you last? Could've sworn it was only yesterday you were telling us how you met her. Were you the one who punched her in the face? About 3 month since dating stopped and we became a couple, so your right it is not a long time. I still take it serious. And I technically knocked her out with a kick to the inner leg. I don't go face in training/practice, its to dangerous.
3 months is like the longest I've ever gone dude lol
Could've sworn it was last month, but it's already November now... Time flies!
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Now we know that no one should take dating advice from you.
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Well looks like I'm going on a not-a-date which is totally a date (for the first time in like 3 years) this weekend. Time to make a fool of myself.
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On November 05 2015 11:22 IgnE wrote:
Now we know that no one should take dating advice from you.
It's made me very good at getting into relationships!
I don't know. I just can't envision spending a year of my life that intimately with the same person. Like I've got friends and stuff, male and female, who I've seen almost every day of my life for a very long time, but I can't envision banging them. And vice versa. I need change. I live on a college campus of 60,000 students - more students than the population of either of the two towns it's in - might as well take advantage of it while I can.
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On November 05 2015 11:22 ticklishmusic wrote:
Well looks like I'm going on a not-a-date which is totally a date (for the first time in like 3 years) this weekend. Time to make a fool of myself.
Do elaborate.
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On November 05 2015 11:22 ticklishmusic wrote:
Well looks like I'm going on a not-a-date which is totally a date (for the first time in like 3 years) this weekend. Time to make a fool of myself.
Don't take it so seriously  just have fun!
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Haha, I'm just very self-deprecating. Should be fun. I see good things potentially.
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I agree with most of you. I think the chance of sex is super low, however I don't really care about that. I'm not in a rush. She was very skeptical what I meant by "movie" . Best case scenario we have sex (very unlikely), or we just cuddling and make out which is what I want the most now tbh. Worst case scenario I just gain some dating experience.
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On November 05 2015 08:16 waffelz wrote:
Update:
This weekend she went to a party and got drunk, slept with a guy for unknown reason and called me the morning after. We met, we talked, I broke up with her and everyone is miserable. Guess I am lucky I only wasted a few month instead of years this time.
To add icing on the cake, a girl I only occasionally have contact with and therefore didn’t knew about this or my relationship asked me if I am interested in being “friends with benefits”. Quote: “You can just fuck around, there is no problem with that”. Yes my dear, I have been made terribly aware of that. This is just stupid.
Sorry to hear it man.
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After a 3 year hiatus I'm back in the dating game, woop.
Bit of an atypical start though, for me at least. Met a girl at a party through mutual friends, hit it off after some peer pressuring (bad mutual friends  ), made out all night. Met her again at another party one week later, ended up sleeping with her at a friend's place.
At that point I didn't really know much about her yet, and I can't say there were any feelings, just physical. We've gone on 2 proper dates since, know a lot more about each other already, and feelings are starting to appear.
Question for the experts here: are relationships like this less likely to succeed in your opinion? And with that I mean sex first, feelings later. I'm not sure what to expect from it, just taking it as it goes and enjoying myself.
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On November 05 2015 17:34 Shinon wrote:
Question for the experts here: are relationships like this less likely to succeed in your opinion? And with that I mean sex first, feelings later. I'm not sure what to expect from it, just taking it as it goes and enjoying myself.
As an expert in the matter I don't think it is that uncommon for relationships to start this way.
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EPT
