We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
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On November 04 2015 21:46 bloodwhore~ wrote: Yep I knew it.
"I think we should cancel today. I think you're really nice and it was really fun baking with you. However, I don't think I see you in that way. I just want to be honest and go after my gut."
At least she was finally straightforward and respectful with you. It happens. Just don't ever burn bridges... girls will talk, and it's always surprising at how they network.
On November 04 2015 22:01 arb wrote: was pretty obvious, you are being super clingy to someone you arent with best thing ive learned is send a message be vague about plans and if they are interested they'll get back if not fuck em
Not sure where you got the clingy idea from. The only time I've talked to her outside of the dates have been to try to set up dates. Can't really think of a single clingy thing I've done.
I agree though that it was obvious though, I've felt that it wouldn't work out from the start.
On November 04 2015 22:01 arb wrote: was pretty obvious, you are being super clingy to someone you arent with best thing ive learned is send a message be vague about plans and if they are interested they'll get back if not fuck em
Not sure where you got the clingy idea from. The only time I've talked to her outside of the dates have been to try to set up dates. Can't really think of a single clingy thing I've done.
I agree though that it was obvious though, I've felt that it wouldn't work out from the start.
shouldnt have texted her if she forbid it, shouldnt have continued texting her after the first time should have sent one said fuck it and went on about your life
if you have a feeling its not gonna work don't go for it
On November 04 2015 21:46 bloodwhore~ wrote: Yep I knew it.
"I think we should cancel today. I think you're really nice and it was really fun baking with you. However, I don't think I see you in that way. I just want to be honest and go after my gut."
was pretty obvious, you are being super clingy to someone you arent with best thing ive learned is send a message be vague about plans and if they are interested they'll get back if not fuck em
think things may be going ok with me atm, randomly decided fuck it and added this friend of mines friend on fb, talked shit for a couple days met her last night and we kissed a bit and i took her home(went to pick her up from college) but i think things are going well i think.
On November 04 2015 22:29 arb wrote: shouldnt have texted her if she forbid it,
She never forbid it, she just casually mentioned that she likes to talk over phone more. However in hindsight I think she would probably be more prone to talk to me on text if she was more interested.
shouldnt have continued texting her after the first time
Which first time are you implying?
should have sent one said fuck it and went on about your life
if you have a feeling its not gonna work don't go for it
Why I didn't think it was going to work was mostly because of physical reasons. She is extremely beautiful and about the same height as me. Girls like that tend to go for better looking guys than myself. It's not like I think I'm ugly but she was definitely above my league if you believe in stuff like that, and most people do even though they claim not to. I think the main reason for her not being interested is lack of attraction from her part.
if someone you just met tells you they prefer to do this, and you go against those wishes, you do not see how many people's impression of you will be 'does not listen to me, possibly clingy'. until you get passed the first few dates, you are still very much in first impression mode, just like you would be for a job interview or something like that. dont do dumb shit you know will go against the wishes of the other person
maybe you're not thinking it's no big deal to ignore her for some reason. if she said i dont really like sushi and your next date you bring her to a sushi joint, we'd be in agreement that you're being an idiot, right? why is this different to you. put yourself in her shoes: if you say I like to talk on the phone instead of text, and all the new person you does is text you, would you reactive psoitively?
you could be handsome as hell if you ignore something someone says it is still going to piss them off. it may not be THE reason this didnt work out but it sure as hell didn't help your chances.
On November 04 2015 23:24 QuanticHawk wrote:you could be handsome as hell if you ignore something someone says it is still going to piss them off. it may not be THE reason this didnt work out but it sure as hell didn't help your chances.
Yeah I honestly don't think the text vs phone thing was the problem here.
Just talked to my friend. She found out yesterday that Julia has had her ex at their place twice during our time dating, she has also has dated another guy twice and he was at their place yesterday. She got really mad at Julia and thought she "she wanted us both" and wanted to talk about it so she is coming over to make the fried bananas with me in few hours.
On November 04 2015 23:24 QuanticHawk wrote:you could be handsome as hell if you ignore something someone says it is still going to piss them off. it may not be THE reason this didnt work out but it sure as hell didn't help your chances.
Yeah I honestly don't think the text vs phone thing was the problem here.
Just talked to my friend. She found out yesterday that Julia has had her ex at their place twice during our time dating, she has also has dated another guy twice and he was at their place yesterday. She got really mad at Julia and thought she "she wanted us both" and wanted to talk about it so she is coming over to make the fried bananas with me in few hours.
shouldnt have continued texting her after the first time
Which first time are you implying?
Any time a girl doesn't reply to a text withing 2-3 hours, stick to 1 2-10 minute phone call per week to set up exactly one date per week, telling her place and time where to be. She kept long to reply, and then she even specifically told you she wants you to call. So first time she took long to reply, and definitely when she told you she wants you to call.
She never forbid it, she just casually mentioned that she likes to talk over phone more. However in hindsight I think she would probably be more prone to talk to me on text if she was more interested.
This is normal, girl attraction grows over time. Just because she doesn't text first doesn't mean she won't do most of the initiating 2-3 months down the line when she falls for you. You made her disinterested in you pretty much, from what you told us she was very much into you, your dates went well, she made it really easy for you so it's how you came across away from them that made her interest to drop so low she lost interest altogether.
Again I'll mention the girl I'm dating - in the first couple months she was very passionate on dates but would take 30 hours to reply to any text, sometimes 2 days even, sometimes she'd not reply at all. So I just called her once per week to set up a date and that's it. And she even loves texts as she's admitted later. And a few months later I've literally never had to text her first and she texts me about random stuff all the time. Too much even damn it . And I think this will be pretty normal with most great sexy smart girls that are bombarded by men left right and center.
EDIT: Kinda think of it, yes! She actually went on one date after we started dating. And more or less broke up with a guy the night we met + he was texting her afterwards + one of her friends professed love to her over text on the day when we were on our second date. This stuff's just normal with hot desirable chicks, I've been sleeping with 2 other girls myself during that time, it's kind of a good feeling that we chose each other despite other options tbh
Why I didn't think it was going to work was mostly because of physical reasons. She is extremely beautiful and about the same height as me. Girls like that tend to go for better looking guys than myself. It's not like I think I'm ugly but she was definitely above my league if you believe in stuff like that, and most people do even though they claim not to. I think the main reason for her not being interested is lack of attraction from her part.
100% bullshit+you rationalizing right here.
There's no such thing as absolute beauty, it's all relative. And your appearance as a man besides being clean is pretty low on women't priorities. Women have no idea what's good, and most would say that Arnold or Kai Greene are ugly almost disgusting - that tells you something, girls have no clue what a proper male beauty is god damn it!
She was into you, she gave you all the positive signs and went out of her way from what you've wrote she told her friends and you after dates, it's not about how you look like, but about your confidence, eye contact, body language, and how you come across. Your appearance itself was 100% up to par and there's no doubt about that. If you came off as confident and just kept it simple straightforward off dates, you'd be fucking her brains out right now and she'd slowly start initiating and replying faster and faster, eventually blowing up your phone as she's wondering about you and wants to see you more.
But you know - it's a great learning experience I'd say! You do seem to have trouble learning so I assume you will just keep doing what your doing as you have so far. But both to get laid or get a great relationship all you have to do is 1) Talk to loads of women on a daily basis in person, ask the ones where mutual attraction is for a phone number+ text to confirm who you are so she can save you. 2) Call a couple days later to set up a date, once per week, specific time + place without giving out details 3) After the date where you don't mention any future dates, wait for her to contact you about anything, ask her out immediately when she does, if she doesn't wait 3-4 days and call her again to set up a date.
Literally all you have to do besides having a great time and sex on dates.
On November 04 2015 23:24 QuanticHawk wrote:you could be handsome as hell if you ignore something someone says it is still going to piss them off. it may not be THE reason this didnt work out but it sure as hell didn't help your chances.
Yeah I honestly don't think the text vs phone thing was the problem here.
Just talked to my friend. She found out yesterday that Julia has had her ex at their place twice during our time dating, she has also has dated another guy twice and he was at their place yesterday. She got really mad at Julia and thought she "she wanted us both" and wanted to talk about it so she is coming over to make the fried bananas with me in few hours.
She didn't want you both! Girls leave their options open and then unless they are truly poly-amorous (which is pretty rare, and certainly would be interesting to experience)) they just leave their options open and then go for the best guy
Obviously it can be a no-no for you if she's in touch physically with EX, and that's really reasonable, but definitely you shouldn't have an issue with her going on dates with another random guy at first.
But I'd say next time you shouldn't really care, date more women at first too, and only commit to the ones that really fulfill you from every aspect. it's wonderful times we live in, full of opportunities She seemed to be doing the same thing
On November 05 2015 00:29 LemOn wrote:There's no such thing as absolute beauty, it's all relative. And your appearance as a man besides being clean is pretty low on women't priorities. Women have no idea what's good, and most would say that Arnold or Kai Greene are ugly almost disgusting - that tells you something, girls have no clue what a proper male beauty is god damn it!
In general it's definitely not relative. To some it might be, but anyone who has been to Tinder or any other online dating site knows very well that is certainly not the case at all. I'll give you that it's not 100% sure the reason she ditched me was because I was "uglier" than her though, I just think it contributed a lot.
Obviously it can be a no-no for you if she's in touch with EX, and that's really reasonable, but definitely you shouldn't have an issue with her going on dates with another random guy at first.
Her dating other guys would have been fine by me, as long as she wasn't sleeping with both of us.
But you know - it's a great learning experience I'd say!
Yeah I agree.
But I'd say next time you shouldn't really care, date more women at first too, and only commit to the ones that really fulfill you from every aspect. She seemed to do the same thing
On November 05 2015 00:29 LemOn wrote:There's no such thing as absolute beauty, it's all relative. And your appearance as a man besides being clean is pretty low on women't priorities. Women have no idea what's good, and most would say that Arnold or Kai Greene are ugly almost disgusting - that tells you something, girls have no clue what a proper male beauty is god damn it!
In general it's definitely not relative. To some it might be, but anyone who has been to Tinder or any other online dating site knows very well that is certainly not the case at all. I'll give you that it's not 100% sure the reason she ditched me was because I was "uglier" than her though, I just think it contributed a lot. .
You really are getting a distorted understanding of the world. Tinder is not real life, far from it! It's a superficial world where only tangible thing displayed is looks. You don't have to be model looking to date gorgeous girls, but you do need to be comfortable in your own skin and show it to the world. I mentioned this on the first date - you came out telling stories about her skin, beauty, and nothing about her personality, sense of humor, how she reacts to touching etc. These are the things that matter, and mutual chemical attraction is radically more important than magazine style looks.
Also if beauty did matter (does way more to men than to women) It's still relative. When I go out with my friends, I always start drooling over girls and they are like "wtf what girl" they wouldn't even notice my type. And vice versa! Only thing you have to do is be comfortable in your body and mind and approach people with an open mind.
Like I love watching keys to the VIP. There's this PUA guy trying it out , everyone including me was like "lol what a loser" at first - skinny, non shaven, moustache, lame clothes. He looked like an idiot. Then when he got really successful the whole panel including me thought he got women in minutes without fail because of the techniques he was using.
But when I showed the episode to my girl without telling her who he was, even before anything started she was like "yep, he'll be great" "what do you mean, he looks like a loser, skinny etc. clear underdog?" "no you just know - he looks really confident, laid back, his body language, tone of voice etc. you can just tell women will like him, I'd like him"
it wasn't his techniques, it was his confidence and comfort with himself getting him the women.
On November 05 2015 00:29 LemOn wrote:There's no such thing as absolute beauty, it's all relative. And your appearance as a man besides being clean is pretty low on women't priorities. Women have no idea what's good, and most would say that Arnold or Kai Greene are ugly almost disgusting - that tells you something, girls have no clue what a proper male beauty is god damn it!
In general it's definitely not relative. To some it might be, but anyone who has been to Tinder or any other online dating site knows very well that is certainly not the case at all. I'll give you that it's not 100% sure the reason she ditched me was because I was "uglier" than her though, I just think it contributed a lot. .
You really are getting a distorted understanding of the world. Tinder is not real life, far from it! It's a superficial world where only tangible thing displayed is looks. You don't have to be model looking to date gorgeous girls, but you do need to be comfortable in your own skin and show it to the world. I mentioned this on the first date - you came out telling stories about her skin, beauty, and nothing about her personality, sense of humor, how she reacts to touching etc. These are the things that matter, and mutual chemical attraction is radically more important than magazine style looks.
Also if beauty did matter (does way more to men than to women) It's still relative. When I go out with my friends, I always start drooling over girls and they are like "wtf what girl" they wouldn't even notice my type. And vice versa! Only thing you have to do is be comfortable in your body and mind and approach people with an open mind.
Like I love watching keys to the VIP. There's this PUA guy trying it out , everyone including me was like "lol what a loser" at first - skinny, non shaven, moustache, lame clothes. He looked like an idiot. Then when he got really successful the whole panel including me thought he got women in minutes without fail because of the techniques he was using. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIsoproa1qo
But when I showed the episode to my girl without telling her who he was, even before anything started she was like "yep, he'll be great" "what do you mean, he looks like a loser, skinny etc. clear underdog?" "no you just know - he looks really confident, laid back, his body language, tone of voice etc. you can just tell women will like him, I'd like him"
it wasn't his techniques, it was his confidence and comfort with himself getting him the women.
I noticed this too. Like girls who probably wouldn't give me the time of day if we matched on Tinder are way more open to that kind of thing when we actually start out talking at a party or sport club or something because now you have body language and interesting topics at play. Been using Tinder as a crutch due to lack of free time, but going out to have fun once in a while is worth the small drop in pay/grades.
And beauty is most certainly relative. Go into an LR thread and ask people who the hottest player in the tournament is, and grab some popcorn.
On November 05 2015 00:29 LemOn wrote:There's no such thing as absolute beauty, it's all relative. And your appearance as a man besides being clean is pretty low on women't priorities. Women have no idea what's good, and most would say that Arnold or Kai Greene are ugly almost disgusting - that tells you something, girls have no clue what a proper male beauty is god damn it!
In general it's definitely not relative. To some it might be, but anyone who has been to Tinder or any other online dating site knows very well that is certainly not the case at all. I'll give you that it's not 100% sure the reason she ditched me was because I was "uglier" than her though, I just think it contributed a lot. .
You really are getting a distorted understanding of the world. Tinder is not real life, far from it! It's a superficial world where only tangible thing displayed is looks. You don't have to be model looking to date gorgeous girls, but you do need to be comfortable in your own skin and show it to the world. I mentioned this on the first date - you came out telling stories about her skin, beauty, and nothing about her personality, sense of humor, how she reacts to touching etc. These are the things that matter, and mutual chemical attraction is radically more important than magazine style looks.
Also if beauty did matter (does way more to men than to women) It's still relative. When I go out with my friends, I always start drooling over girls and they are like "wtf what girl" they wouldn't even notice my type. And vice versa! Only thing you have to do is be comfortable in your body and mind and approach people with an open mind.
Like I love watching keys to the VIP. There's this PUA guy trying it out , everyone including me was like "lol what a loser" at first - skinny, non shaven, moustache, lame clothes. He looked like an idiot. Then when he got really successful the whole panel including me thought he got women in minutes without fail because of the techniques he was using. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIsoproa1qo
But when I showed the episode to my girl without telling her who he was, even before anything started she was like "yep, he'll be great" "what do you mean, he looks like a loser, skinny etc. clear underdog?" "no you just know - he looks really confident, laid back, his body language, tone of voice etc. you can just tell women will like him, I'd like him"
it wasn't his techniques, it was his confidence and comfort with himself getting him the women.
I noticed this too. Like girls who probably wouldn't give me the time of day if we matched on Tinder are way more open to that kind of thing when we actually start out talking at a party or sport club or something because now you have body language and interesting topics at play. Been using Tinder as a crutch due to lack of free time, but going out to have fun once in a while is worth the small drop in pay/grades.
And beauty is most certainly relative. Go into an LR thread and ask people who the hottest player in the tournament is, and grab some popcorn.
On November 05 2015 00:29 LemOn wrote:There's no such thing as absolute beauty, it's all relative. And your appearance as a man besides being clean is pretty low on women't priorities. Women have no idea what's good, and most would say that Arnold or Kai Greene are ugly almost disgusting - that tells you something, girls have no clue what a proper male beauty is god damn it!
In general it's definitely not relative. To some it might be, but anyone who has been to Tinder or any other online dating site knows very well that is certainly not the case at all. I'll give you that it's not 100% sure the reason she ditched me was because I was "uglier" than her though, I just think it contributed a lot. .
You really are getting a distorted understanding of the world. Tinder is not real life, far from it! It's a superficial world where only tangible thing displayed is looks. You don't have to be model looking to date gorgeous girls, but you do need to be comfortable in your own skin and show it to the world. I mentioned this on the first date - you came out telling stories about her skin, beauty, and nothing about her personality, sense of humor, how she reacts to touching etc. These are the things that matter, and mutual chemical attraction is radically more important than magazine style looks.
Also if beauty did matter (does way more to men than to women) It's still relative. When I go out with my friends, I always start drooling over girls and they are like "wtf what girl" they wouldn't even notice my type. And vice versa! Only thing you have to do is be comfortable in your body and mind and approach people with an open mind.
Like I love watching keys to the VIP. There's this PUA guy trying it out , everyone including me was like "lol what a loser" at first - skinny, non shaven, moustache, lame clothes. He looked like an idiot. Then when he got really successful the whole panel including me thought he got women in minutes without fail because of the techniques he was using. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIsoproa1qo
But when I showed the episode to my girl without telling her who he was, even before anything started she was like "yep, he'll be great" "what do you mean, he looks like a loser, skinny etc. clear underdog?" "no you just know - he looks really confident, laid back, his body language, tone of voice etc. you can just tell women will like him, I'd like him"
it wasn't his techniques, it was his confidence and comfort with himself getting him the women.
I noticed this too. Like girls who probably wouldn't give me the time of day if we matched on Tinder are way more open to that kind of thing when we actually start out talking at a party or sport club or something because now you have body language and interesting topics at play. Been using Tinder as a crutch due to lack of free time, but going out to have fun once in a while is worth the small drop in pay/grades.
And beauty is most certainly relative. Go into an LR thread and ask people who the hottest player in the tournament is, and grab some popcorn.
Honestly what most guys consider nice looking varies anyway for example, when i go with parties with my last ex sometimes id go ahead of her to hear comments from people when she walked in about how fine she was, this was usually just so i could cockblock them but yeah.
then i had a few freinds who said they wouldnt touch her bc she wasnt attractive, with my friend base it was probably 80% who would and 20% who wouldnt or less, just because she wasnt their type
My friend has left and she has told me some shit. The girl seems pretty strange. Apparently she has been acting weird lately according to most of her roommates. She didn't really meet any of her friends she studied with anymore. She goes to party with random people all the time. She is still into her ex but he wasn't into her it sounded like.
From what I've heard I'm feel like I have dodged a bullet. I think she would be a fun type to be around but she seems really unstable. Ah well, enough about her, I'm over her.
I have a new possible victim! Matched with a girl I have matched with before, we started talking a bit. Asked her if she was free to hang out on Saturday, she responded maybe Sunday. I suggested movie at my place. We'll see what she says, this won't be dating for a relationship though, she is leaving in a month or so.
EPT
. And I think this will be pretty normal with most great sexy smart girls that are bombarded by men left right and center. 
