EPTTurns out she lost her phone, so game's still on I guess. Yay?
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 735
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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ticklishmusic
United States15977 Posts
Turns out she lost her phone, so game's still on I guess. Yay? | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
In other news I had a meeting, a girl I swiped yes to this morning was there. Thank god she didn't swipe right back, would have been awkward. | ||
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Ghostcom
Denmark4783 Posts
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States45778 Posts
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Laurens
Belgium4557 Posts
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On November 03 2015 22:58 bloodwhore~ wrote: Still no response. Will call her tomorrow. In other news I had a meeting, a girl I swiped yes to this morning was there. Thank god she didn't swipe right back, would have been awkward. It's like when we broke up with my ex - the same night I went on tinder, obviously swipe right on every girl, like a pro (back in the day without restrictions on free account). And only after I did it I realized I swiped her right, and her friend too :D On November 03 2015 23:02 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: Yeah that would have been "fate" (lucky coincidence) haha ^^ It gives you people closest to you. So more like probability when 2 sad people have to use tinder to get laid  | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States45778 Posts
On November 04 2015 00:55 LemOn wrote: It's like when we broke up with my ex - the same night I went on tinder, obviously swipe right on every girl, like a pro (back in the day without restrictions on free account). And only after I did it I realized I swiped her right, and her friend too :D It gives you people closest to you. So more like probability In the words of Day[9], "Luck is just probability taken personally." | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On November 03 2015 22:58 bloodwhore~ wrote: Still no response. Will call her tomorrow. Just make sure you don't mention anything from the past, don't ask her why she didn't reply. Just accept it that it's normal, tell her that you'd love to take her out and work out the specifics  | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On November 04 2015 01:02 LemOn wrote: Just make sure you don't mention anything from the past, don't ask her why she didn't reply. Just accept it that it's normal, tell her that you'd love to take her out and work out the specifics I won't. I must say though, my hopes aren't that big. It really fucks with my brain that you take this long to answer when you're the one who said to keep in touch, but you know that already . | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32132 Posts
On November 02 2015 20:30 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: I agree with that interpretation. Mixed messages imply uncertainty, so she's not yet sure what she wants to do with you. It does sound like her response was already calculated and practiced, so she's probably overly cautious about starting new relationships quickly. I think if your next date is interesting/ surprising/ novel enough for her, she'll still be willing to go out on more dates with you to feel out the situation further. could be this could also be exactly as she said. dont have time for a relationship doesnt mean dont have time for casual dating or whatever else. On November 02 2015 22:55 bloodwhore~ wrote: I'm pretty sure we have already gone through most of this already. I am already keeping myself busy. However, just because someone is busy, does not mean you don't have time to answer a text for meeting up. You have to take a shit at some point and at that point sending out a text shouldn't be hard, it will most likely take longer than 15 seconds for you to shit. I just don't think that 'being busy' etc is a valid excuse for taking longer than a day to answer which I guess is where we differ. I guess it has to do with that females are magical unicorns which needs to debate the situation in Syria before contemplating when she has time for another date. Yeah I will. Well it was mostly during my exam period I thought it would be 'annoying', maybe not as annoying as it would be time consuming. I don't mind having to setting up all the dates at all, not sure where you got that impression. I just like mutual interest which seems to be awfully hard for me to come by. you arent the center of everyone's universe, especially not someone who youve only gone on two dates with. plenty of people take forever to reply to spouses they've known for years. people get busy, some are actually responsible and dont text at work, dont reply right away, forget stuff. on top of that, lots of people straight up dislike texting, and she apparently told you that. since you're not getting it with one person laying it out for you, allow me to add: you are being needy as fuck with someone you barely know, and I am sure that is what she is interpreting it on her end. She told you she doesn't like texting, you ignore it and do it anyway and get pissy when she doesn't respond. a rule of thumb for dating or life in general: if you want a response, don't engage in a way that allows someone to ignore you. call or ask in person. unlike when she said no to your plan via text, you can instantly ask and recieve a response to what day is good for you | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
Backstory: So I queued for a party (for this thursday) this morning for an hour or two with a few friends (weird system but whatever, it's how it works here). Snapchated with my friend (the friend of the girl I'm dating). It's really hard to get a ticket unless you queue like we did. So to the point She responded now, not with an answer letting me know when she is free, but instead just asked if I have any spare tickets to the party. I haven't answered her yet which is where I need help. For me this feels like she would just be taking advantage of me. Firstly, I don't know if I have any spare tickets, we probably do but I sure as hell don't want to give her one if her asking after doing the silent treatment. Update as I was writing: As I write this, even more in fucking awe. She now claims she just saw my last message, however did say she was free for tomorrow. How do you not see a text for 3 days...? God damn my imaginations are running wild right now. Not sure what to make of any of this. Will wait to send anything until someone has commented. I'm thinking something like "Sorry, but I can't promise anything. Tomorrow works for me, name a time and you can come over here and we'll make fried bananas with ice cream." | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States45778 Posts
On November 04 2015 03:52 bloodwhore~ wrote: Wow. I'm in fucking awe. Backstory: So I queued for a party (for this thursday) this morning for an hour or two with a few friends (weird system but whatever, it's how it works here). Snapchated with my friend (the friend of the girl I'm dating). It's really hard to get a ticket unless you queue like we did. So to the point She responded now, not with an answer letting me know when she is free, but instead just asked if I have any spare tickets to the party. I haven't answered her yet which is where I need help. For me this feels like she would just be taking advantage of me. Firstly, I don't know if I have any spare tickets, we probably do but I sure as hell don't want to give her one if her asking after doing the silent treatment. Update as I was writing: As I write this, even more in fucking awe. She now claims she just saw my last message, however did say she was free for tomorrow. How do you not see a text for 3 days...? God damn my imaginations are running wild right now. Not sure what to make of any of this. Will wait to send anything until someone has commented. I'm thinking something like "Sorry, but I can't promise anything. Tomorrow works for me, name a time and you can come over here and we'll make fried bananas with ice cream." That sounds good imo. You don't want her mooching a ticket off you and taking you for granted, and it doesn't sound like she wants to go "with you" per se. Sounds sketchy. | ||
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QuanticHawk
United States32132 Posts
once again you are all focused on texts blah blah blah she finally replied but not how i wanted you explicitly went against her wishes with texts so that is your own doing. dont whine that she doesnt feel the need to respond promptly, or even about specific questions, when she straight up told you i dont like texting call me instead alternatively, stop whining about how you dont like the frequency at which she texts, stop hitting her up, and find someone who will respond to your texts in a manner you feel is appropriate. neither is right or wrong, but you should want to findsomeone whose views on that are closer to yours. i sincerely doubt her views on texting will change drastically and if you have a problem now youd have one in 6 months when youre both more comfortable and less worrieda bout making a good impression. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On November 04 2015 04:02 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: and it doesn't sound like she wants to go "with you" per se. I don't really care if she doesn't want to "go with me" there to be honest. I will be pre-partying with my floor hockey team so I'll be busy. However if we meet there for a moment or two that would be nice of course. But yeah, I'm think the whole thing is pretty sketchy too. What makes me think she is not mooching is that she suggested tomorrow which is before the party. If she had suggested like saturday or sunday or something it would be easier for her to cancel if she was in fact just mooching. Would be pretty weird if she were to hang out with me just to get a hold of a ticket (she would almost deserve it then for the dedication). | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On November 04 2015 04:12 QuanticHawk wrote: what you should do is call and say that, and finalize your date. you will 100% get an answer (or wishy washy shit which is also an answer). you will also be doing it on her terms, which will at least partially rectify you ignoring her wishes to not text. I've sent a message already. Said "I'm not sure, can't promise anything. Tomorrow is fine, mention a time when you're coming over and we'll make fried bananas with ice cream.". If she wants an answer to her question she will have to read and answer mine. However if she is wishy washy about it I'll call her. | ||
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Fi0na
0 Posts
On November 04 2015 04:23 bloodwhore~ wrote: I've sent a message already. Said "I'm not sure, can't promise anything. Tomorrow is fine, mention a time when you're coming over and we'll make fried bananas with ice cream.". If she wants an answer to her question she will have to read and answer mine. However if she is wishy washy about it I'll call her. Again a text instead of a call. Stop sabotaging yourself! And really don't read too much into people not seeing texts. She probably just got other texts when she checked and didn't see yours, it happens, especially to people who don't use texts as frequently. It is the same with people who do not do much on facebook and end up not checking it for days and sometimes miss stuff even if they do log in, or reading your email then reading another one and forgetting to respond to yours. So PLEASE just don't read too much into this. Girls have to be careful, so until you make it to a relationship you are not the center of her thoughts and she is not permanently thinking about "what if that cute guy texted me even though I told him not to? Better check my phone" - She likes you (yay) - She wants to meet you independent of the tickets (yay) - Since the only way to get tickets is to wait in line for hours and the party sounds like fun, I imagine pretty much anyone would ask you if you had spare ones. That doesn't mean the girl just planned to make you get her tickets the moment she saw you. If she makes you get a lot more than just tickets you should be careful, but right now it is just an acquaintance seeing the opportunity to maybe get some sweet tickets through a friend and thus asking you. Don't read too much into it at all, and if you say you have none left than that's totally reasonable and fine! - Just try to man up next time and call her instead of texting. Right now you even run the chance that she forgets to check for texts or misses yours again (DONT read too much into that if it happens but learn from it instead and don't text). If she doesn't respond until tomorrow call her an hour or more before the time when you'd like for her to come over and invite her. You seem to have quite the opportunity with this girl, don't mess it up Call don't text, make dates, have fun! And if the party comes up and you decide on not giving her a ticket, just invite her to go with you to the next one | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On November 04 2015 03:52 bloodwhore~ wrote: Wow. I'm in fucking awe. Backstory: So I queued for a party (for this thursday) this morning for an hour or two with a few friends (weird system but whatever, it's how it works here). Snapchated with my friend (the friend of the girl I'm dating). It's really hard to get a ticket unless you queue like we did. So to the point She responded now, not with an answer letting me know when she is free, but instead just asked if I have any spare tickets to the party. I haven't answered her yet which is where I need help. For me this feels like she would just be taking advantage of me. Firstly, I don't know if I have any spare tickets, we probably do but I sure as hell don't want to give her one if her asking after doing the silent treatment. Update as I was writing: As I write this, even more in fucking awe. She now claims she just saw my last message, however did say she was free for tomorrow. How do you not see a text for 3 days...? God damn my imaginations are running wild right now. Not sure what to make of any of this. Will wait to send anything until someone has commented. I'm thinking something like "Sorry, but I can't promise anything. Tomorrow works for me, name a time and you can come over here and we'll make fried bananas with ice cream." Don't reply, instead call her, say you don't have a ticket ( I like the line "I'll get you one next time if you're good girl wink wink" nice one Fiona) And set up time when you meet tomorrow + get off the phone. Don't you dare texting again man EDIT: NOOOO you sent already  if you do text, and she's told you that she's free that day, just tell her a time that works for you. Make sure it's the last message you need to send that doesn't require confirmation. If a girl doesn't show up, you'll only tell her to come to your place directly when you'd be there anyways or be done with her for good. "Sure meet me at 6pm at corner of X place, see you there"! Assume she'll be there. if she can't make it, she'll let you know. Not telling a girl what you'll be doing is always great,just adds a hint of mystery and she can wonder about that/you. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On November 04 2015 05:04 Fi0na wrote: You seem to have quite the opportunity with this girl, don't mess it up Call don't text, make dates, have fun! And if the party comes up and you decide on not giving her a ticket, just invite her to go with you to the next one Thank you I do think her not seeing the message for 3 days being BS, but I also believe that bloodwhore shouldn't care one bit. and do Call don't text, make dates, have fun! This is what a core of any dating is, anything else is just the wishy washy extra stuff around (well except kids I guess. Kid's are pretty cool/important too ). If you're seeing a girl for the second time, or if you're married for 40 years. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
"I think we should cancel today. I think you're really nice and it was really fun baking with you. However, I don't think I see you in that way. I just want to be honest and go after my gut." | ||
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arb
Noobville17922 Posts
On November 04 2015 21:46 bloodwhore~ wrote: Yep I knew it. "I think we should cancel today. I think you're really nice and it was really fun baking with you. However, I don't think I see you in that way. I just want to be honest and go after my gut." was pretty obvious, you are being super clingy to someone you arent with best thing ive learned is send a message be vague about plans and if they are interested they'll get back if not fuck em think things may be going ok with me atm, randomly decided fuck it and added this friend of mines friend on fb, talked shit for a couple days met her last night and we kissed a bit and i took her home(went to pick her up from college) but i think things are going well i think. | ||
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