EPTI also suffer from depressive episodes, but there doesn't seem to be a great correlation there, at least in consistency.
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 532
| Forum Index > General Forum |
We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
|
WombaT
Northern Ireland27080 Posts
I also suffer from depressive episodes, but there doesn't seem to be a great correlation there, at least in consistency. | ||
|
WarSame
Canada1950 Posts
| ||
|
docvoc
United States5491 Posts
On August 17 2014 22:38 Wombat_NI wrote: Anybody have wildly fluctuating sex drives? I have gone from not really caring unless I am with a long term partner to some kind of lecherous, sex-obsessed maniac. I also suffer from depressive episodes, but there doesn't seem to be a great correlation there, at least in consistency. That's pretty average sounding depending on your age. Everyone is different. Especially depending on the situations you put yourself in. | ||
|
GGTeMpLaR
United States7226 Posts
it sucks | ||
|
evilfatsh1t
Australia8892 Posts
i still like her but i know this break up is for the best, because our relationship wont progress. i dont have any bad feelings about her either, so i want to stay on good terms. she claims the same what does everyone think about this kind of arrangement in general? does breaking up and staying friends actually work or do people just say that but never actually talk to each other again? | ||
|
GreenHorizons
United States24064 Posts
On August 18 2014 09:43 evilfatsh1t wrote: so me and my gf broke up, as expected. but it wasnt really a bad breakup, kind of a mutual decision i still like her but i know this break up is for the best, because our relationship wont progress. i dont have any bad feelings about her either, so i want to stay on good terms. she claims the same what does everyone think about this kind of arrangement in general? does breaking up and staying friends actually work or do people just say that but never actually talk to each other again? Does the thought of seeing her making out with some other guy not bother you? Unless you are mature as hell it most likely won't work. One of you will be bothered by the others new relationship. Beyond that your new partners won't like the idea of you two hanging around together either. You don't have to hate each other but chances are you won't want to be hanging out together much. | ||
Firebolt145
Lalalaland34503 Posts
On August 18 2014 09:43 evilfatsh1t wrote: so me and my gf broke up, as expected. but it wasnt really a bad breakup, kind of a mutual decision i still like her but i know this break up is for the best, because our relationship wont progress. i dont have any bad feelings about her either, so i want to stay on good terms. she claims the same what does everyone think about this kind of arrangement in general? does breaking up and staying friends actually work or do people just say that but never actually talk to each other again? No absolute correct answer. Always case by case. I'm still friends with two of my ex's and the others that I don't talk to are more just because we've gone separate paths rather than because we were previously in a relationship. | ||
|
IgnE
United States7681 Posts
@ Wombat I was pondering this today actually. I think there's a seasonal component. | ||
|
WombaT
Northern Ireland27080 Posts
In my experience distance for a while, pursuing other things of interest to you and then later down the line friendship is a lot easier. With my exes whenever I kept a distance for a while and reconnected we always maintained some degree of a genuine platonic friendship. | ||
|
DamageControL
United States4222 Posts
On August 18 2014 09:43 evilfatsh1t wrote: so me and my gf broke up, as expected. but it wasnt really a bad breakup, kind of a mutual decision i still like her but i know this break up is for the best, because our relationship wont progress. i dont have any bad feelings about her either, so i want to stay on good terms. she claims the same what does everyone think about this kind of arrangement in general? does breaking up and staying friends actually work or do people just say that but never actually talk to each other again? In my experience, it takes time. I'm good friends (although we are no longer in the same city, so less so now) with one of my exes but both of us are happy in our current relationships, so there's not even a hint of underlying jealousy/negative emotions. Trying to stay friends too soon after a relationships is kind of odd. You can't just turn off "relationship mode" or eliminate all those shared experiences that involve you as a couple. | ||
|
evilfatsh1t
Australia8892 Posts
but yeah seeing her make out with another guy is definitely not something im gonna put on my must see checklists | ||
|
Livelovedie
United States492 Posts
I am now at school and failing to have really made friends my first two years of college, I'm having a really hard time doing so. I am currently in RA training and have been acting like being part of the group, participating minimally in it, and spending the rest of the time acting like the loner I am. I knew one of the girl's before RA training, let's call her Lauren, we met a couple of years ago and we talked some at the beginning of the 12 hour day we spent as group, but as the day progressed she seemed to take more of an interest in other people, I can't blame her. There was this awkward moment that summed it up where we were being presented with a two hour presentation after being on break for awhile. I was already in the room but I see Lauren enter; I decide to play with my phone pretending I'm talking to someone or doing something important and don't make eye contact with her to see if she is really interested in my company. I see the group of girls she was hanging out with earlier, but later than when she hung with me, and they are no chairs by them so she can't sit with them. At this point a girl two chairs from me engages me in conversation. Lauren is then faced with a decision, there are two chairs that are in the middle of us but she must choose if she wants to sit by the other girl or if she wants to sit by me. This other girl and I were having a decent conversation but then Lauren enters the picture, sits by her and starts talking to this girl, I then feel relegated to playing with my phone again with this awkward one chair distance between me and the other girls now. The day is almost over at this point, thank god, and I retreat further from the group during our next event and sit unassumingly in the back of an informal circle as we wrap up the day. I find all this group activity very draining for me. I also tend to overthink things like the chair thing or if I should interject myself into groups when no one comes over to talk to me. I usually just decide to stay on the outside. The friendships I tend to make, if you can call them that, are almost essentially superficial acquaintances. I can never seem to bridge the gap between sitting by someone in class and doing anything outside of class with those people. Another part of me romanticizes the idea of being the mysterious loner, even though I don't think any people would put that much effort into observing and describing me as such. One of the good things about breaking up with my girlfriend is I have started to take up exercising more since I am not hanging out with anyone anymore. | ||
|
GreenHorizons
United States24064 Posts
On August 19 2014 12:22 Livelovedie wrote: I wrote a few pages back about growing apart from my girlfriend. I decided to end it on Saturday. She took it better than expected; I think we both knew that we had reached a somber fork in the road where we realized that a long-distance relationship wasn't going to work for us. I am starting to realize how reliant I was on her. I am now at school and failing to have really made friends my first two years of college, I'm having a really hard time doing so. I am currently in RA training and have been acting like being part of the group, participating minimally in it, and spending the rest of the time acting like the loner I am. I knew one of the girl's before RA training, let's call her Lauren, we met a couple of years ago and we talked some at the beginning of the 12 hour day we spent as group, but as the day progressed she seemed to take more of an interest in other people, I can't blame her. There was this awkward moment that summed it up where we were being presented with a two hour presentation after being on break for awhile. I was already in the room but I see Lauren enter, as I play with my phone pretending I'm talking to someone or doing something important and don't make eye contact with her. I see the group of girls she was hanging out with earlier, but later than when she hung with me, and they are out of chairs. At this point a girl two chairs from me engages me in conversation. Lauren is then faced with a decision, she can either chair that is in the middle of us but she must choose if she wants to sit by the other girl or if she wants to sit by me. This other girl and I were having a decent conversation but then Lauren enters the picture and starts talking to this girl, I then feel relegated to playing with my phone again with this awkward one chair distance between me and the other girls now. The day is almost over at this point, thank god, and I retreat further from the group sitting unassumingly in the back of an informal circle as we wrap up the day. I find all this group activity very draining for me. I also tend to overthink things like the chair thing or if I should interject myself into groups when no one comes over to talk to me. I usually just decide to stay on the outside. The friendships I tend to make, if you can call them that, are almost essentially superficial acquaintances. I can never seem to bridge the gap between sitting by someone in class and doing anything outside of class with those people. Another part of me romanticizes the idea of being the mysterious loner, even though I don't think any people would put that much effort into observing and describing me as such. One of the good things about breaking up with my girlfriend is I have started to take up exercising more since I am not hanging out with anyone anymore. Well you can always work on getting especially fit. Then the girls will come to you, and when you turn out not to be a total jerk they will be so pleasantly surprised you'll have to decide which one you want to let in instead of having to seek them out. Alternatively or in addition just make sure at least once a day when you would normally decide to go solo, force yourself to have a conversation you wouldn't normally have (preferably with a girl or at least a guy in proximity/having a conversation with a girl) Doesn't have to be amazing, but the more you get in the better chance you have of one being a good one (and possibly going further). | ||
|
Livelovedie
United States492 Posts
| ||
|
B.I.G.
3251 Posts
| ||
|
Grumbels
Netherlands7032 Posts
| ||
|
Zooper31
United States5713 Posts
I have a job, co-worker there works in different department, super cute (blonde, black hipster glasses, semi short hair, always smiling). Has same interests in nerdy stuff, same kind of games etc. Is kinda intellectual I'd put it almost but not really idk, anyway, she actually knows about books and authors and shit and can actually talk about real stuff to her about some stuff sometimes. Has some tattoos and some small body piercings (belly button, some hip dermals on her sides) total turn on for me, love that in girls. Has bf in different department, different department than both of us. They seem cool together, at times. They differently went through a rough patch awhile ago and I think they are on good terms now right now I think and everything is fine between them. She is currently living with him at his parents house out of need, not out of want. They'd prefer to be separately living arrangements as them living together is what forced the rough patch and made them fight a lot (having no time apart and not getting to relax, constantly together 24/7 since they work together almost). Anyway we get to talking and we both have a shit ton of stuff in common I didn't know about that's really weird. Both have heart conditions, both are Barnes & Noble fanatics, both love StarCraft, and both love the same kind of drink. I ask if she wants to hangout sometime and hit up B&N together since I need to get a new graphic novel coming out and I have to day off, she agrees and says that'd she could use some social interaction and that'd be fun. We set time and she mentions that that's a perfect time as her bf will just be heading to work. I pick her up from his house and it's just the two of us. We've hung out before in groups of other people but first time alone, and without her bf present. She's wearing almost nothing. I mean she's wearing short shorts that go below her hip bones that look like they are almost about to pop off. She's got more than just a midriff going on, and is basically just wearing a "top" the size of a sports bra. Huge amount of cleavage going on and she's got this tiny ass backpack on that's like the size of a big purse. I've seen her in non work clothes before, but always some kind of normal t-shirt from like a band or something (total rock/punk band chick btw too) and always some kind of jeans on. I had no idea she had that good of a body going on, and why in the love of god she felt the need to show it off to go to a bookstore... She had this tattoo on the side of her stomach going down into her short shorts that you couldn't see the end of... oh my god. Now I can't get her out of my head. We went to the mall, book store, had some lunch and I dropped her off and nothing has happened since then, just some normal chatter at work. I'm 90% sure she just threw on something comfortable and didn't think twice about it (it wasn't hot out, it actually rained a tiny bit while we were shopping around) and was just being friendly. We had a great time after all and we actually made plans to see the new "The Giver" movie since we were talking about it at the bookstore last week tomorrow. And again we're going to be alone, not by choice this time, was going to be a group outing but no one else could make it unfortunately. What do? All just in my head right? I shouldn't try to pursue her right? We work together, she has a bf, who also works in the same place, she's just being friendly, while being insanely hot. I should just enjoy the show and be happy to have her company right? I felt like a million bucks at the mall that day, every single guy had to be checking her out too lol. | ||
|
evilfatsh1t
Australia8892 Posts
| ||
|
Danglars
United States12133 Posts
She is currently living with him at his parents house out of need, not out of want. Shitty living situation isn't a point towards making big moves. I'd wager its convenience, not need.She's wearing almost nothing. Possibly relishing in your attention/attention of others. It goes both ways, some girls never feeling "sexy" without it, but still far and beyond attached to current BF, others broadcasting a certain availability.It may be worth one or two more invitations to ascertain if she's over this bf, but beyond that nahhh. | ||
|
GreenHorizons
United States24064 Posts
On August 19 2014 15:31 Zooper31 wrote: Not really needing help or anything but this is the closest place I can think of to ask about opinion on what a women might be thinking. I have a job, co-worker there works in different department, super cute (blonde, black hipster glasses, semi short hair, always smiling). Has same interests in nerdy stuff, same kind of games etc. Is kinda intellectual I'd put it almost but not really idk, anyway, she actually knows about books and authors and shit and can actually talk about real stuff to her about some stuff sometimes. Has some tattoos and some small body piercings (belly button, some hip dermals on her sides) total turn on for me, love that in girls. Has bf in different department, different department than both of us. They seem cool together, at times. They differently went through a rough patch awhile ago and I think they are on good terms now right now I think and everything is fine between them. She is currently living with him at his parents house out of need, not out of want. They'd prefer to be separately living arrangements as them living together is what forced the rough patch and made them fight a lot (having no time apart and not getting to relax, constantly together 24/7 since they work together almost). Anyway we get to talking and we both have a shit ton of stuff in common I didn't know about that's really weird. Both have heart conditions, both are Barnes & Noble fanatics, both love StarCraft, and both love the same kind of drink. I ask if she wants to hangout sometime and hit up B&N together since I need to get a new graphic novel coming out and I have to day off, she agrees and says that'd she could use some social interaction and that'd be fun. We set time and she mentions that that's a perfect time as her bf will just be heading to work. I pick her up from his house and it's just the two of us. We've hung out before in groups of other people but first time alone, and without her bf present. She's wearing almost nothing. I mean she's wearing short shorts that go below her hip bones that look like they are almost about to pop off. She's got more than just a midriff going on, and is basically just wearing a "top" the size of a sports bra. Huge amount of cleavage going on and she's got this tiny ass backpack on that's like the size of a big purse. I've seen her in non work clothes before, but always some kind of normal t-shirt from like a band or something (total rock/punk band chick btw too) and always some kind of jeans on. I had no idea she had that good of a body going on, and why in the love of god she felt the need to show it off to go to a bookstore... She had this tattoo on the side of her stomach going down into her short shorts that you couldn't see the end of... oh my god. Now I can't get her out of my head. We went to the mall, book store, had some lunch and I dropped her off and nothing has happened since then, just some normal chatter at work. I'm 90% sure she just threw on something comfortable and didn't think twice about it (it wasn't hot out, it actually rained a tiny bit while we were shopping around) and was just being friendly. We had a great time after all and we actually made plans to see the new "The Giver" movie since we were talking about it at the bookstore last week tomorrow. And again we're going to be alone, not by choice this time, was going to be a group outing but no one else could make it unfortunately. What do? All just in my head right? I shouldn't try to pursue her right? We work together, she has a bf, who also works in the same place, she's just being friendly, while being insanely hot. I should just enjoy the show and be happy to have her company right? I felt like a million bucks at the mall that day, every single guy had to be checking her out too lol. Well if she is unhappy in her relationship it could be mostly an attention/ 'see, other guys want me' type of thing since you all work somewhat together. Also could be what the guy 2 posts before me said. | ||
| ||
