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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On April 08 2014 08:07 Volband wrote:Show nested quote +On April 07 2014 19:00 Slayers_Red.Cracker wrote:On April 07 2014 05:31 Volband wrote:
How important is seriousness during (first) sex? I keep imagining scenarios where I could crack some jokes, which would ease the pressure, but not sure if it would kill the mood altogether or not. The number 1 advice for dating is "be confident", but the 2nd is "fuck her well", then the 3rd is "no pressure". I'm missing the link.
I have the virgin card so I could get away with a lot of things, but don't know how much should I opt for. I mean, everyone, whether he cares about the girl or not, wants to please his partner. It should be the best 20 seconds of her life, right? 1) How old are you actually 2) it's not "the virgin card". You're still a virgin for a reason. That's okay, but maybe you should expand your scope a little bit. It's good to stop making assumptions. Everytime you ask a question on this forum, you're first making an assumption as if it's a fact, and then you ask whether it's true. If you do this in real life I can really see a lot of people getting bored VERY fast of your way of communicating. When asking a question, just ask. 3) Just accept that you're a virgin, that you haven't got a fucking clue what you're doing, and just go for it without complicated thoughts or plans. In the end it's about sticking your pointy bit in her hole and moving your hips around. It's probably going to suck the first time, but that's okay. It's not about you rocking her world sexually, it's about you being there next to her and sharing an intimate moment with her. So don't talk in terms of giving her the best 20 seconds of her life, just give her the attention she deserves during the act. Be honest with her, enjoy your time, and be a man about it. 4) Making jokes is okay when it's the right mood, but jokes should never be forced. Also don't use jokes to draw attention to your shortcomings. So if you're not getting the insertion right (which probably will happen), don't make jokes about that you don't know what you're doing. Just go cuddle, do some finger or oral stuff, and try again a bit later. And if it completely fails it's also not a disaster. There's always a next time. 5) Sort of a summary of life, but just be yourself. Any girl sharing the bed with you deserves to lie next to a guy that's just himself. Don't try to force a better version of yourself. If she wants to lie next to you, she wants you for who you are and not for who you're trying to be. 1) 22 4) exactly what I had in mind 2) I'm not sure how to do that. So I told her when I'm available during the month (I don't have a regular work schedule), and asked her which day(s) is fine for her. She said none. Now, I might be indicesive as fuck, but not stupid, even if I'm concealing it rather well. Anyway, I'm aware that if you WANT to make room for someone, you do. I implied that it's rather odd that she's already sure she can't reschedule her next saturday. And sunday. And the following monday. I knew I was already too far into rude-territory, so when she asked me if I want to know her schedule for those days, I said no. I get that she's not over the moon for me, and doesn't engrave my name on trees in her free time, but why do I think she's somewhat interested, when this whole "I can't make it those days" screams "SHE'S NOT INTERESTED AT ALL PAL"? Like, we were skyping, and after some hours she asked me if I had laughed loudly at all. When I said I don't think so, she got quite sad (there was cam), and I immidietly remembered how I was expecting huge smiles and laughs from her, when I was with her and I really cared if she's enjoying herself or not. Sure, I might just imagine things, and it was nothing important after all, but that question was really out of her usual character. We also talked about "us", so I got the idea that the thought of it doesn't repels her at all. I just don't get why do I have to do everything that involves bringing us closer (and hitting a wall,eventually), when she doesn't seem completely neutral either during our conversations. And we talked a lot that day, we totally reached that point, where a possible "I'm sorry, I really like talking with you, but I can't imagine us being together"-talk could've surfaced, without it being blunt. She said she could make time on thursday, when I told her I'll be around town that day, but she said only half an hour. Like what the hell. If I say sure, come, I'm just showing I'm willing to be fed with crumbs, and if I just let thursday pass silently, I'm an asshole, who doesn't value little things. But tell me, how could I agree to it, when I know she's too busy for a real date when I'm available? Am I A. Impatient B. A tool who doesn't realise he's chasing a dream C. Giving all the wrong details, so you can't really tell D. In some kind of a next-level friend-zone, where she wants to keep me close, but not too close. E. Spending too much time writing in this thread ? Anyway, overall I'm disappointed, but I knew what I was getting into when I asked her again, so I'm not utterly crushed, unlike last time. Time will tell if she is interested or not (oh yes, btw this is the main question of my post).
Ya man. This whole thing just requires an answer, But given that you wrote this all out, I can already tell my answer needs to be written so you can read it..not implying you're dumb at all, just saying your perspective needs to be taken outside and have its ass kicked ;x
Answer spoilered 'cuz it's long winded and silly, but true.
+ Show Spoiler +When you play a game of SC2 and you have a great match with a good player, and then you say, "hey man, GG, wanna add me to your friends list so we can play again? that was very fun"
And the guy adds you to his friends list, right, and then in a couple days you msg him and say "yo, let's play 1" and he says, "hey I'm in a party with a friend, let's play later k" and you say "k"
Then you try asking for a game again a couple days later, and the guy ignores you but you can see his ass joining games cuz he's on your god damn friends list, right!? so you know you're being ignored, so you say, "dude i can see you joining and playing games, if you don't wanna play just say so"
Then the guy says "jeez, ok, let's play fine" and then you play a game, and it's a GG and you're like ya, so, you wanna play again maybe? and he's like, ya. Then he ignores you etc etc and eventually, what do you do? you remove him from your friends list 'cuz obviously he doesn't give a shit. Ya you get GG's, ya he's kinda interested in being your friend and playing the odd game, but he doesn't care! So you move the fuck on. He's a douche.
Ya this is real life and about a girl, but it's the exact same principle. You're grappling to understand a simple thing you've dealt with countless times before. You're getting in your own way, obstructing yourself from understanding, making yourself unable to see something so easy to see. The girl was interested, may be interested, but is too busy and you don't matter enough. Move on! She's probably courting several guys, you're not the only guy on Earth just like you're not the only player online. Find better friends to play games with, find better girls to talk to and or be with. Have more pride and start fucking your own perspective up. It's not your fault some gamers are douchebags, just like it's not your fault some girls play, etc. Sorry for long winded response, I have a soft spot for people who make mistakes like this >.<
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Did you literally send her a list saying "I'm available the 10th, 14th and 19th, but for the 19th only between 6 and 10 pm"? And she said "None of those work for me" and then you started asking how she could possible know she has no time at the 19th?
It's not just rude, it's disrespectful as fuck. When someone gives you a clear "no", especially when it comes to relationships you respect it. On top of that, you don't imply that the person doesn't give a fuck and if they try to explain it you're like "fuck that, I don't even wanna hear an explanation".
Next. Get more experience around women (and people in general), you're being disrespectful, whiny and self-centered.
edit @above: That's exactly the attitude I meant with self-centered. Stop assigning blame to the girl in such a case when there are huge fuckups from the guys side. No one will learn anything when the lesson learned here is supposed to be "Oh well she sucked it can't be me after all." - that's something you can say after you built lots of experience. Before then odds are pretty stacked against you.
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No blame is being assigned. The girl is obviously not that into him, and the advice is solid, date someone who is. Not everyone is going to be attracted to you. Beating yourself up over it is not productive. Yeah he should show more class when rejected but he did get rejected. The outcome wouldn't have changed had he acted differently. She's not interested.
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On April 08 2014 08:26 BoX wrote:Show nested quote +On April 08 2014 08:07 Volband wrote:On April 07 2014 19:00 Slayers_Red.Cracker wrote:On April 07 2014 05:31 Volband wrote:
How important is seriousness during (first) sex? I keep imagining scenarios where I could crack some jokes, which would ease the pressure, but not sure if it would kill the mood altogether or not. The number 1 advice for dating is "be confident", but the 2nd is "fuck her well", then the 3rd is "no pressure". I'm missing the link.
I have the virgin card so I could get away with a lot of things, but don't know how much should I opt for. I mean, everyone, whether he cares about the girl or not, wants to please his partner. It should be the best 20 seconds of her life, right? 1) How old are you actually 2) it's not "the virgin card". You're still a virgin for a reason. That's okay, but maybe you should expand your scope a little bit. It's good to stop making assumptions. Everytime you ask a question on this forum, you're first making an assumption as if it's a fact, and then you ask whether it's true. If you do this in real life I can really see a lot of people getting bored VERY fast of your way of communicating. When asking a question, just ask. 3) Just accept that you're a virgin, that you haven't got a fucking clue what you're doing, and just go for it without complicated thoughts or plans. In the end it's about sticking your pointy bit in her hole and moving your hips around. It's probably going to suck the first time, but that's okay. It's not about you rocking her world sexually, it's about you being there next to her and sharing an intimate moment with her. So don't talk in terms of giving her the best 20 seconds of her life, just give her the attention she deserves during the act. Be honest with her, enjoy your time, and be a man about it. 4) Making jokes is okay when it's the right mood, but jokes should never be forced. Also don't use jokes to draw attention to your shortcomings. So if you're not getting the insertion right (which probably will happen), don't make jokes about that you don't know what you're doing. Just go cuddle, do some finger or oral stuff, and try again a bit later. And if it completely fails it's also not a disaster. There's always a next time. 5) Sort of a summary of life, but just be yourself. Any girl sharing the bed with you deserves to lie next to a guy that's just himself. Don't try to force a better version of yourself. If she wants to lie next to you, she wants you for who you are and not for who you're trying to be. 1) 22 4) exactly what I had in mind 2) I'm not sure how to do that. So I told her when I'm available during the month (I don't have a regular work schedule), and asked her which day(s) is fine for her. She said none. Now, I might be indicesive as fuck, but not stupid, even if I'm concealing it rather well. Anyway, I'm aware that if you WANT to make room for someone, you do. I implied that it's rather odd that she's already sure she can't reschedule her next saturday. And sunday. And the following monday. I knew I was already too far into rude-territory, so when she asked me if I want to know her schedule for those days, I said no. I get that she's not over the moon for me, and doesn't engrave my name on trees in her free time, but why do I think she's somewhat interested, when this whole "I can't make it those days" screams "SHE'S NOT INTERESTED AT ALL PAL"? Like, we were skyping, and after some hours she asked me if I had laughed loudly at all. When I said I don't think so, she got quite sad (there was cam), and I immidietly remembered how I was expecting huge smiles and laughs from her, when I was with her and I really cared if she's enjoying herself or not. Sure, I might just imagine things, and it was nothing important after all, but that question was really out of her usual character. We also talked about "us", so I got the idea that the thought of it doesn't repels her at all. I just don't get why do I have to do everything that involves bringing us closer (and hitting a wall,eventually), when she doesn't seem completely neutral either during our conversations. And we talked a lot that day, we totally reached that point, where a possible "I'm sorry, I really like talking with you, but I can't imagine us being together"-talk could've surfaced, without it being blunt. She said she could make time on thursday, when I told her I'll be around town that day, but she said only half an hour. Like what the hell. If I say sure, come, I'm just showing I'm willing to be fed with crumbs, and if I just let thursday pass silently, I'm an asshole, who doesn't value little things. But tell me, how could I agree to it, when I know she's too busy for a real date when I'm available? Am I A. Impatient B. A tool who doesn't realise he's chasing a dream C. Giving all the wrong details, so you can't really tell D. In some kind of a next-level friend-zone, where she wants to keep me close, but not too close. E. Spending too much time writing in this thread ? Anyway, overall I'm disappointed, but I knew what I was getting into when I asked her again, so I'm not utterly crushed, unlike last time. Time will tell if she is interested or not (oh yes, btw this is the main question of my post). Ya man. This whole thing just requires an answer, But given that you wrote this all out, I can already tell my answer needs to be written so you can read it..not implying you're dumb at all, just saying your perspective needs to be taken outside and have its ass kicked ;x Answer spoilered 'cuz it's long winded and silly, but true. + Show Spoiler +When you play a game of SC2 and you have a great match with a good player, and then you say, "hey man, GG, wanna add me to your friends list so we can play again? that was very fun"
And the guy adds you to his friends list, right, and then in a couple days you msg him and say "yo, let's play 1" and he says, "hey I'm in a party with a friend, let's play later k" and you say "k"
Then you try asking for a game again a couple days later, and the guy ignores you but you can see his ass joining games cuz he's on your god damn friends list, right!? so you know you're being ignored, so you say, "dude i can see you joining and playing games, if you don't wanna play just say so"
Then the guy says "jeez, ok, let's play fine" and then you play a game, and it's a GG and you're like ya, so, you wanna play again maybe? and he's like, ya. Then he ignores you etc etc and eventually, what do you do? you remove him from your friends list 'cuz obviously he doesn't give a shit. Ya you get GG's, ya he's kinda interested in being your friend and playing the odd game, but he doesn't care! So you move the fuck on. He's a douche.
Ya this is real life and about a girl, but it's the exact same principle. You're grappling to understand a simple thing you've dealt with countless times before. You're getting in your own way, obstructing yourself from understanding, making yourself unable to see something so easy to see. The girl was interested, may be interested, but is too busy and you don't matter enough. Move on! She's probably courting several guys, you're not the only guy on Earth just like you're not the only player online. Find better friends to play games with, find better girls to talk to and or be with. Have more pride and start fucking your own perspective up. It's not your fault some gamers are douchebags, just like it's not your fault some girls play, etc. Sorry for long winded response, I have a soft spot for people who make mistakes like this >.<
But we talked a lot about various things; build orders, analysing games, and I was not the one who nagged him all the time. Sometimes he just said "hey, found a cool trick, you should see it!", which made me think this thing is mutual. Then he says he's up to playing 2v2, we talk about it beforehand, you know, coming up with good comps, then he's just not there to play, only to talk.
My pride made me being disrespectful. I could've just said "mhkay" and crawl away, but my pride was like "fuck man, that's totally not what she implied. Ask a little further. Just a little, so she can see that you are aware that she's beating you with a stop sign, despite what she was talking about earlier."
On April 08 2014 08:27 r.Evo wrote:
Did you literally send her a list saying "I'm available the 10th, 14th and 19th, but for the 19th only between 6 and 10 pm"? And she said "None of those work for me" and then you started asking how she could possible know she has no time at the 19th?
It's so literal you almost got the days right, lol.
But tell me, what am I supposed to do, when I ask her if she's still interested in dating --> she says yes --> I tell her which days would be good for me ---> she's unrescheduleably busy on them all, except for 30 mins.
All right, so I was disrespectful, for not accepting silently her huge "no", but let me plead for a re-evauation, since the whole thing started with her saying yes. You don't just say yes to be nice. This is confusing.
And yes, I definetly make all the wrong moves socially. Be confident. But not rude. Don't be a tool though. You are too nice. You are a jerk. Be straightforward. You asked for too much. Move On. Don't assume it's totally over.
You know, I feel dumb when I switch into "ok, it's over" mode, but I feel the same with the "let's not leave it at that" mode. I tried to be nicer with people, but somehow I still end up either arguing or (apparently) hurting them.
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On April 08 2014 09:01 Volband wrote:Show nested quote +On April 08 2014 08:26 BoX wrote:On April 08 2014 08:07 Volband wrote:On April 07 2014 19:00 Slayers_Red.Cracker wrote:On April 07 2014 05:31 Volband wrote:
How important is seriousness during (first) sex? I keep imagining scenarios where I could crack some jokes, which would ease the pressure, but not sure if it would kill the mood altogether or not. The number 1 advice for dating is "be confident", but the 2nd is "fuck her well", then the 3rd is "no pressure". I'm missing the link.
I have the virgin card so I could get away with a lot of things, but don't know how much should I opt for. I mean, everyone, whether he cares about the girl or not, wants to please his partner. It should be the best 20 seconds of her life, right? 1) How old are you actually 2) it's not "the virgin card". You're still a virgin for a reason. That's okay, but maybe you should expand your scope a little bit. It's good to stop making assumptions. Everytime you ask a question on this forum, you're first making an assumption as if it's a fact, and then you ask whether it's true. If you do this in real life I can really see a lot of people getting bored VERY fast of your way of communicating. When asking a question, just ask. 3) Just accept that you're a virgin, that you haven't got a fucking clue what you're doing, and just go for it without complicated thoughts or plans. In the end it's about sticking your pointy bit in her hole and moving your hips around. It's probably going to suck the first time, but that's okay. It's not about you rocking her world sexually, it's about you being there next to her and sharing an intimate moment with her. So don't talk in terms of giving her the best 20 seconds of her life, just give her the attention she deserves during the act. Be honest with her, enjoy your time, and be a man about it. 4) Making jokes is okay when it's the right mood, but jokes should never be forced. Also don't use jokes to draw attention to your shortcomings. So if you're not getting the insertion right (which probably will happen), don't make jokes about that you don't know what you're doing. Just go cuddle, do some finger or oral stuff, and try again a bit later. And if it completely fails it's also not a disaster. There's always a next time. 5) Sort of a summary of life, but just be yourself. Any girl sharing the bed with you deserves to lie next to a guy that's just himself. Don't try to force a better version of yourself. If she wants to lie next to you, she wants you for who you are and not for who you're trying to be. 1) 22 4) exactly what I had in mind 2) I'm not sure how to do that. So I told her when I'm available during the month (I don't have a regular work schedule), and asked her which day(s) is fine for her. She said none. Now, I might be indicesive as fuck, but not stupid, even if I'm concealing it rather well. Anyway, I'm aware that if you WANT to make room for someone, you do. I implied that it's rather odd that she's already sure she can't reschedule her next saturday. And sunday. And the following monday. I knew I was already too far into rude-territory, so when she asked me if I want to know her schedule for those days, I said no. I get that she's not over the moon for me, and doesn't engrave my name on trees in her free time, but why do I think she's somewhat interested, when this whole "I can't make it those days" screams "SHE'S NOT INTERESTED AT ALL PAL"? Like, we were skyping, and after some hours she asked me if I had laughed loudly at all. When I said I don't think so, she got quite sad (there was cam), and I immidietly remembered how I was expecting huge smiles and laughs from her, when I was with her and I really cared if she's enjoying herself or not. Sure, I might just imagine things, and it was nothing important after all, but that question was really out of her usual character. We also talked about "us", so I got the idea that the thought of it doesn't repels her at all. I just don't get why do I have to do everything that involves bringing us closer (and hitting a wall,eventually), when she doesn't seem completely neutral either during our conversations. And we talked a lot that day, we totally reached that point, where a possible "I'm sorry, I really like talking with you, but I can't imagine us being together"-talk could've surfaced, without it being blunt. She said she could make time on thursday, when I told her I'll be around town that day, but she said only half an hour. Like what the hell. If I say sure, come, I'm just showing I'm willing to be fed with crumbs, and if I just let thursday pass silently, I'm an asshole, who doesn't value little things. But tell me, how could I agree to it, when I know she's too busy for a real date when I'm available? Am I A. Impatient B. A tool who doesn't realise he's chasing a dream C. Giving all the wrong details, so you can't really tell D. In some kind of a next-level friend-zone, where she wants to keep me close, but not too close. E. Spending too much time writing in this thread ? Anyway, overall I'm disappointed, but I knew what I was getting into when I asked her again, so I'm not utterly crushed, unlike last time. Time will tell if she is interested or not (oh yes, btw this is the main question of my post). Ya man. This whole thing just requires an answer, But given that you wrote this all out, I can already tell my answer needs to be written so you can read it..not implying you're dumb at all, just saying your perspective needs to be taken outside and have its ass kicked ;x Answer spoilered 'cuz it's long winded and silly, but true. + Show Spoiler +When you play a game of SC2 and you have a great match with a good player, and then you say, "hey man, GG, wanna add me to your friends list so we can play again? that was very fun"
And the guy adds you to his friends list, right, and then in a couple days you msg him and say "yo, let's play 1" and he says, "hey I'm in a party with a friend, let's play later k" and you say "k"
Then you try asking for a game again a couple days later, and the guy ignores you but you can see his ass joining games cuz he's on your god damn friends list, right!? so you know you're being ignored, so you say, "dude i can see you joining and playing games, if you don't wanna play just say so"
Then the guy says "jeez, ok, let's play fine" and then you play a game, and it's a GG and you're like ya, so, you wanna play again maybe? and he's like, ya. Then he ignores you etc etc and eventually, what do you do? you remove him from your friends list 'cuz obviously he doesn't give a shit. Ya you get GG's, ya he's kinda interested in being your friend and playing the odd game, but he doesn't care! So you move the fuck on. He's a douche.
Ya this is real life and about a girl, but it's the exact same principle. You're grappling to understand a simple thing you've dealt with countless times before. You're getting in your own way, obstructing yourself from understanding, making yourself unable to see something so easy to see. The girl was interested, may be interested, but is too busy and you don't matter enough. Move on! She's probably courting several guys, you're not the only guy on Earth just like you're not the only player online. Find better friends to play games with, find better girls to talk to and or be with. Have more pride and start fucking your own perspective up. It's not your fault some gamers are douchebags, just like it's not your fault some girls play, etc. Sorry for long winded response, I have a soft spot for people who make mistakes like this >.< But we talked a lot about various things; build orders, analysing games, and I was not the one who nagged him all the time. Sometimes he just said "hey, found a cool trick, you should see it!", which made me think this thing is mutual. Then he says he's up to playing 2v2, we talk about it beforehand, you know, coming up with good comps, then he's just not there to play, only to talk. My pride made me being disrespectful. I could've just said "mhkay" and crawl away, but my pride was like "fuck man, that's totally not what she implied. Ask a little further. Just a little, so she can see that you are aware that she's beating you with a stop sign, despite what she was talking about earlier." Show nested quote +On April 08 2014 08:27 r.Evo wrote:
Did you literally send her a list saying "I'm available the 10th, 14th and 19th, but for the 19th only between 6 and 10 pm"? And she said "None of those work for me" and then you started asking how she could possible know she has no time at the 19th?
It's so literal you almost got the days right, lol. But tell me, what am I supposed to do, when I ask her if she's still interested in dating --> she says yes --> I tell her which days would be good for me ---> she's unrescheduleably busy on them all, except for 30 mins. All right, so I was disrespectful, for not accepting silently her huge "no", but let me plead for a re-evauation, since the whole thing started with her saying yes. You don't just say yes to be nice. This is confusing. And yes, I definetly make all the wrong moves socially. Be confident. But not rude. Don't be a tool though. You are too nice. You are a jerk. Be straightforward. You asked for too much. Move On. Don't assume it's totally over. You know, I feel dumb when I switch into "ok, it's over" mode, but I feel the same with the "let's not leave it at that" mode. I tried to be nicer with people, but somehow I still end up either arguing or (apparently) hurting them.
you dont lis tout dates and say we can only do this at this time that's terrible
go for the 30 mins, quit being so hardnosed
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On April 08 2014 09:02 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On April 08 2014 09:01 Volband wrote:On April 08 2014 08:26 BoX wrote:On April 08 2014 08:07 Volband wrote:On April 07 2014 19:00 Slayers_Red.Cracker wrote:On April 07 2014 05:31 Volband wrote:
How important is seriousness during (first) sex? I keep imagining scenarios where I could crack some jokes, which would ease the pressure, but not sure if it would kill the mood altogether or not. The number 1 advice for dating is "be confident", but the 2nd is "fuck her well", then the 3rd is "no pressure". I'm missing the link.
I have the virgin card so I could get away with a lot of things, but don't know how much should I opt for. I mean, everyone, whether he cares about the girl or not, wants to please his partner. It should be the best 20 seconds of her life, right? 1) How old are you actually 2) it's not "the virgin card". You're still a virgin for a reason. That's okay, but maybe you should expand your scope a little bit. It's good to stop making assumptions. Everytime you ask a question on this forum, you're first making an assumption as if it's a fact, and then you ask whether it's true. If you do this in real life I can really see a lot of people getting bored VERY fast of your way of communicating. When asking a question, just ask. 3) Just accept that you're a virgin, that you haven't got a fucking clue what you're doing, and just go for it without complicated thoughts or plans. In the end it's about sticking your pointy bit in her hole and moving your hips around. It's probably going to suck the first time, but that's okay. It's not about you rocking her world sexually, it's about you being there next to her and sharing an intimate moment with her. So don't talk in terms of giving her the best 20 seconds of her life, just give her the attention she deserves during the act. Be honest with her, enjoy your time, and be a man about it. 4) Making jokes is okay when it's the right mood, but jokes should never be forced. Also don't use jokes to draw attention to your shortcomings. So if you're not getting the insertion right (which probably will happen), don't make jokes about that you don't know what you're doing. Just go cuddle, do some finger or oral stuff, and try again a bit later. And if it completely fails it's also not a disaster. There's always a next time. 5) Sort of a summary of life, but just be yourself. Any girl sharing the bed with you deserves to lie next to a guy that's just himself. Don't try to force a better version of yourself. If she wants to lie next to you, she wants you for who you are and not for who you're trying to be. 1) 22 4) exactly what I had in mind 2) I'm not sure how to do that. So I told her when I'm available during the month (I don't have a regular work schedule), and asked her which day(s) is fine for her. She said none. Now, I might be indicesive as fuck, but not stupid, even if I'm concealing it rather well. Anyway, I'm aware that if you WANT to make room for someone, you do. I implied that it's rather odd that she's already sure she can't reschedule her next saturday. And sunday. And the following monday. I knew I was already too far into rude-territory, so when she asked me if I want to know her schedule for those days, I said no. I get that she's not over the moon for me, and doesn't engrave my name on trees in her free time, but why do I think she's somewhat interested, when this whole "I can't make it those days" screams "SHE'S NOT INTERESTED AT ALL PAL"? Like, we were skyping, and after some hours she asked me if I had laughed loudly at all. When I said I don't think so, she got quite sad (there was cam), and I immidietly remembered how I was expecting huge smiles and laughs from her, when I was with her and I really cared if she's enjoying herself or not. Sure, I might just imagine things, and it was nothing important after all, but that question was really out of her usual character. We also talked about "us", so I got the idea that the thought of it doesn't repels her at all. I just don't get why do I have to do everything that involves bringing us closer (and hitting a wall,eventually), when she doesn't seem completely neutral either during our conversations. And we talked a lot that day, we totally reached that point, where a possible "I'm sorry, I really like talking with you, but I can't imagine us being together"-talk could've surfaced, without it being blunt. She said she could make time on thursday, when I told her I'll be around town that day, but she said only half an hour. Like what the hell. If I say sure, come, I'm just showing I'm willing to be fed with crumbs, and if I just let thursday pass silently, I'm an asshole, who doesn't value little things. But tell me, how could I agree to it, when I know she's too busy for a real date when I'm available? Am I A. Impatient B. A tool who doesn't realise he's chasing a dream C. Giving all the wrong details, so you can't really tell D. In some kind of a next-level friend-zone, where she wants to keep me close, but not too close. E. Spending too much time writing in this thread ? Anyway, overall I'm disappointed, but I knew what I was getting into when I asked her again, so I'm not utterly crushed, unlike last time. Time will tell if she is interested or not (oh yes, btw this is the main question of my post). Ya man. This whole thing just requires an answer, But given that you wrote this all out, I can already tell my answer needs to be written so you can read it..not implying you're dumb at all, just saying your perspective needs to be taken outside and have its ass kicked ;x Answer spoilered 'cuz it's long winded and silly, but true. + Show Spoiler +When you play a game of SC2 and you have a great match with a good player, and then you say, "hey man, GG, wanna add me to your friends list so we can play again? that was very fun"
And the guy adds you to his friends list, right, and then in a couple days you msg him and say "yo, let's play 1" and he says, "hey I'm in a party with a friend, let's play later k" and you say "k"
Then you try asking for a game again a couple days later, and the guy ignores you but you can see his ass joining games cuz he's on your god damn friends list, right!? so you know you're being ignored, so you say, "dude i can see you joining and playing games, if you don't wanna play just say so"
Then the guy says "jeez, ok, let's play fine" and then you play a game, and it's a GG and you're like ya, so, you wanna play again maybe? and he's like, ya. Then he ignores you etc etc and eventually, what do you do? you remove him from your friends list 'cuz obviously he doesn't give a shit. Ya you get GG's, ya he's kinda interested in being your friend and playing the odd game, but he doesn't care! So you move the fuck on. He's a douche.
Ya this is real life and about a girl, but it's the exact same principle. You're grappling to understand a simple thing you've dealt with countless times before. You're getting in your own way, obstructing yourself from understanding, making yourself unable to see something so easy to see. The girl was interested, may be interested, but is too busy and you don't matter enough. Move on! She's probably courting several guys, you're not the only guy on Earth just like you're not the only player online. Find better friends to play games with, find better girls to talk to and or be with. Have more pride and start fucking your own perspective up. It's not your fault some gamers are douchebags, just like it's not your fault some girls play, etc. Sorry for long winded response, I have a soft spot for people who make mistakes like this >.< But we talked a lot about various things; build orders, analysing games, and I was not the one who nagged him all the time. Sometimes he just said "hey, found a cool trick, you should see it!", which made me think this thing is mutual. Then he says he's up to playing 2v2, we talk about it beforehand, you know, coming up with good comps, then he's just not there to play, only to talk. My pride made me being disrespectful. I could've just said "mhkay" and crawl away, but my pride was like "fuck man, that's totally not what she implied. Ask a little further. Just a little, so she can see that you are aware that she's beating you with a stop sign, despite what she was talking about earlier." On April 08 2014 08:27 r.Evo wrote:
Did you literally send her a list saying "I'm available the 10th, 14th and 19th, but for the 19th only between 6 and 10 pm"? And she said "None of those work for me" and then you started asking how she could possible know she has no time at the 19th?
It's so literal you almost got the days right, lol. But tell me, what am I supposed to do, when I ask her if she's still interested in dating --> she says yes --> I tell her which days would be good for me ---> she's unrescheduleably busy on them all, except for 30 mins. All right, so I was disrespectful, for not accepting silently her huge "no", but let me plead for a re-evauation, since the whole thing started with her saying yes. You don't just say yes to be nice. This is confusing. And yes, I definetly make all the wrong moves socially. Be confident. But not rude. Don't be a tool though. You are too nice. You are a jerk. Be straightforward. You asked for too much. Move On. Don't assume it's totally over. You know, I feel dumb when I switch into "ok, it's over" mode, but I feel the same with the "let's not leave it at that" mode. I tried to be nicer with people, but somehow I still end up either arguing or (apparently) hurting them. you dont lis tout dates and say we can only do this at this time that's terrible go for the 30 mins, quit being so hardnosed
The general consensus (me included) here is that she's not interested though. It makes your advice about that 30 mins all the more controversial, but the question (regarding that little meeting) all the more interesting.
See , that's my problem with social stuff. Am I hardnosed if I don't accept it, or am I moving on and not letting trees to be planted to screw up my clear sight?
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On April 08 2014 09:10 Volband wrote:Show nested quote +On April 08 2014 09:02 arb wrote:On April 08 2014 09:01 Volband wrote:On April 08 2014 08:26 BoX wrote:On April 08 2014 08:07 Volband wrote:On April 07 2014 19:00 Slayers_Red.Cracker wrote:On April 07 2014 05:31 Volband wrote:
How important is seriousness during (first) sex? I keep imagining scenarios where I could crack some jokes, which would ease the pressure, but not sure if it would kill the mood altogether or not. The number 1 advice for dating is "be confident", but the 2nd is "fuck her well", then the 3rd is "no pressure". I'm missing the link.
I have the virgin card so I could get away with a lot of things, but don't know how much should I opt for. I mean, everyone, whether he cares about the girl or not, wants to please his partner. It should be the best 20 seconds of her life, right? 1) How old are you actually 2) it's not "the virgin card". You're still a virgin for a reason. That's okay, but maybe you should expand your scope a little bit. It's good to stop making assumptions. Everytime you ask a question on this forum, you're first making an assumption as if it's a fact, and then you ask whether it's true. If you do this in real life I can really see a lot of people getting bored VERY fast of your way of communicating. When asking a question, just ask. 3) Just accept that you're a virgin, that you haven't got a fucking clue what you're doing, and just go for it without complicated thoughts or plans. In the end it's about sticking your pointy bit in her hole and moving your hips around. It's probably going to suck the first time, but that's okay. It's not about you rocking her world sexually, it's about you being there next to her and sharing an intimate moment with her. So don't talk in terms of giving her the best 20 seconds of her life, just give her the attention she deserves during the act. Be honest with her, enjoy your time, and be a man about it. 4) Making jokes is okay when it's the right mood, but jokes should never be forced. Also don't use jokes to draw attention to your shortcomings. So if you're not getting the insertion right (which probably will happen), don't make jokes about that you don't know what you're doing. Just go cuddle, do some finger or oral stuff, and try again a bit later. And if it completely fails it's also not a disaster. There's always a next time. 5) Sort of a summary of life, but just be yourself. Any girl sharing the bed with you deserves to lie next to a guy that's just himself. Don't try to force a better version of yourself. If she wants to lie next to you, she wants you for who you are and not for who you're trying to be. 1) 22 4) exactly what I had in mind 2) I'm not sure how to do that. So I told her when I'm available during the month (I don't have a regular work schedule), and asked her which day(s) is fine for her. She said none. Now, I might be indicesive as fuck, but not stupid, even if I'm concealing it rather well. Anyway, I'm aware that if you WANT to make room for someone, you do. I implied that it's rather odd that she's already sure she can't reschedule her next saturday. And sunday. And the following monday. I knew I was already too far into rude-territory, so when she asked me if I want to know her schedule for those days, I said no. I get that she's not over the moon for me, and doesn't engrave my name on trees in her free time, but why do I think she's somewhat interested, when this whole "I can't make it those days" screams "SHE'S NOT INTERESTED AT ALL PAL"? Like, we were skyping, and after some hours she asked me if I had laughed loudly at all. When I said I don't think so, she got quite sad (there was cam), and I immidietly remembered how I was expecting huge smiles and laughs from her, when I was with her and I really cared if she's enjoying herself or not. Sure, I might just imagine things, and it was nothing important after all, but that question was really out of her usual character. We also talked about "us", so I got the idea that the thought of it doesn't repels her at all. I just don't get why do I have to do everything that involves bringing us closer (and hitting a wall,eventually), when she doesn't seem completely neutral either during our conversations. And we talked a lot that day, we totally reached that point, where a possible "I'm sorry, I really like talking with you, but I can't imagine us being together"-talk could've surfaced, without it being blunt. She said she could make time on thursday, when I told her I'll be around town that day, but she said only half an hour. Like what the hell. If I say sure, come, I'm just showing I'm willing to be fed with crumbs, and if I just let thursday pass silently, I'm an asshole, who doesn't value little things. But tell me, how could I agree to it, when I know she's too busy for a real date when I'm available? Am I A. Impatient B. A tool who doesn't realise he's chasing a dream C. Giving all the wrong details, so you can't really tell D. In some kind of a next-level friend-zone, where she wants to keep me close, but not too close. E. Spending too much time writing in this thread ? Anyway, overall I'm disappointed, but I knew what I was getting into when I asked her again, so I'm not utterly crushed, unlike last time. Time will tell if she is interested or not (oh yes, btw this is the main question of my post). Ya man. This whole thing just requires an answer, But given that you wrote this all out, I can already tell my answer needs to be written so you can read it..not implying you're dumb at all, just saying your perspective needs to be taken outside and have its ass kicked ;x Answer spoilered 'cuz it's long winded and silly, but true. + Show Spoiler +When you play a game of SC2 and you have a great match with a good player, and then you say, "hey man, GG, wanna add me to your friends list so we can play again? that was very fun"
And the guy adds you to his friends list, right, and then in a couple days you msg him and say "yo, let's play 1" and he says, "hey I'm in a party with a friend, let's play later k" and you say "k"
Then you try asking for a game again a couple days later, and the guy ignores you but you can see his ass joining games cuz he's on your god damn friends list, right!? so you know you're being ignored, so you say, "dude i can see you joining and playing games, if you don't wanna play just say so"
Then the guy says "jeez, ok, let's play fine" and then you play a game, and it's a GG and you're like ya, so, you wanna play again maybe? and he's like, ya. Then he ignores you etc etc and eventually, what do you do? you remove him from your friends list 'cuz obviously he doesn't give a shit. Ya you get GG's, ya he's kinda interested in being your friend and playing the odd game, but he doesn't care! So you move the fuck on. He's a douche.
Ya this is real life and about a girl, but it's the exact same principle. You're grappling to understand a simple thing you've dealt with countless times before. You're getting in your own way, obstructing yourself from understanding, making yourself unable to see something so easy to see. The girl was interested, may be interested, but is too busy and you don't matter enough. Move on! She's probably courting several guys, you're not the only guy on Earth just like you're not the only player online. Find better friends to play games with, find better girls to talk to and or be with. Have more pride and start fucking your own perspective up. It's not your fault some gamers are douchebags, just like it's not your fault some girls play, etc. Sorry for long winded response, I have a soft spot for people who make mistakes like this >.< But we talked a lot about various things; build orders, analysing games, and I was not the one who nagged him all the time. Sometimes he just said "hey, found a cool trick, you should see it!", which made me think this thing is mutual. Then he says he's up to playing 2v2, we talk about it beforehand, you know, coming up with good comps, then he's just not there to play, only to talk. My pride made me being disrespectful. I could've just said "mhkay" and crawl away, but my pride was like "fuck man, that's totally not what she implied. Ask a little further. Just a little, so she can see that you are aware that she's beating you with a stop sign, despite what she was talking about earlier." On April 08 2014 08:27 r.Evo wrote:
Did you literally send her a list saying "I'm available the 10th, 14th and 19th, but for the 19th only between 6 and 10 pm"? And she said "None of those work for me" and then you started asking how she could possible know she has no time at the 19th?
It's so literal you almost got the days right, lol. But tell me, what am I supposed to do, when I ask her if she's still interested in dating --> she says yes --> I tell her which days would be good for me ---> she's unrescheduleably busy on them all, except for 30 mins. All right, so I was disrespectful, for not accepting silently her huge "no", but let me plead for a re-evauation, since the whole thing started with her saying yes. You don't just say yes to be nice. This is confusing. And yes, I definetly make all the wrong moves socially. Be confident. But not rude. Don't be a tool though. You are too nice. You are a jerk. Be straightforward. You asked for too much. Move On. Don't assume it's totally over. You know, I feel dumb when I switch into "ok, it's over" mode, but I feel the same with the "let's not leave it at that" mode. I tried to be nicer with people, but somehow I still end up either arguing or (apparently) hurting them. you dont lis tout dates and say we can only do this at this time that's terrible go for the 30 mins, quit being so hardnosed The general consensus (me included) here is that she's not interested though. It makes your advice about that 30 mins all the more controversial, but the question (regarding that little meeting) all the more interesting. See , that's my problem with social stuff. Am I hardnosed if I don't accept it, or am I moving on and not letting trees to be planted to screw up my clear sight?
if you dont think shes interested stop messing with her, that was mostly just about listing times is a douchebag thing to do tbh.
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![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/EZh95Kp.jpg)
Things are going well, we're moving in together next semester. From my experience dating like any other things takes time and skill, and it takes a few breakups and heartaches before you mature and find the person you truly feel compatible with. I'm going to share some "wisdom" if you will. I'm currently in graduate school (I'm 25) and it is likely I'm older than the majority of the people reading this post, and it might help if I share my experiences and views.
Here are several policies I have held true in my approaches, they all have a common goal that is to learn the most, and fail the fastest:
1) Always tell someone you like them.
Of all the girl I wanted to know more or had a crush on since college, I very frankly told them "I like you". I got rejected of course, when someone already has a boyfriend, it sucks, but you have to tell or you will live with regret. You will learn right away if she's interested, and fail fastest if it doesn't work out so you don't waste more energy on her.
2) Always be honest.
Do whatever you like and act true to yourself. If the person cannot appreciate you for who you are it's better to find out early than late. I told all the girls I dated my previous experiences, what are my ex like, what worked and what wasn't. Never kept secrets.
3) Open up first, and trust.
In another words, even as you got hurt from previous experiences, you should learn to NEVER grow armor, but rather grow HP and HP regeneration. Wear your heart on your sleeves, and be ready to bleed. Be able to take damage and recover makes you a stronger person, whereas hiding and sheltering your feelings make you a weaker person. It is hard, but you must do it.
4) Always focus on increasing your value.
Be it learning, or going to the gym, or picking up a new instrument. Because let's face it the dating world is a market, people have perceived values, and people want to purchase a significant other on this market. Although each person have their own way of measuring values, and it varies greatly from person to person, these ones are most universal
i) the ability to protect, women intrinsically seek protection. So... get physically fit helps, and also have confidence in your abilities to provide for your future family. Now, I expect most of us are not at the point where we're earning monies to actually provide for a family which brings me up to...
ii) the potential to provide. If you are perusing a valuable degree in school, or is learning and learning well, or have the determination and vision of what you want to achieve in life, you have the potential to provide. Women also takes that into account when evaluating your worth.
5) Always have a plan and be in control.
Be directed in your approach. When I dated I always felt so excited on our next adventure together, it might be as mundane as visiting a local guitar center and going out for lunch afterward, but it felt amazing and so anticipated it makes me happy. Always have a plan of where you want to take the relationship next. Do you want to cook for her dinner? Go to gym together? When things are going not so well, have a plan of how you want to take it, do you want to do a recovery or do you want to abandon or do you want to wait awhile and see? Even if you choose to "wait and see" be clear about what you hope to learn when you are waiting, and act as soon as possible if those things are learned. Again, it is better to have a bad build order and execute it, than to have no build order and do w/e, be deliberate.
6) Always reach a common understanding of your relationship.
The most difficult part of my relationship was when we were not sure what status we were. On one hand we were much closer than mere friends and depended on each other a lot, on the other hand we're not quite close. So I talked to her about it and we agreed that we're in this awkward situation. I then told her that this situation is not stable, and we reached the agreement that we'd either have to break apart or we'd have to move in closer, and that we should wait and re-evaluate where we wanted to go next. It made me much more comfortable after reaching this consensus with her. We both understood we're in this tricky situation, and we both need to work to resolve it. Things would've been a lot worse if this is left unspoken. Take the initiative to reach a mutual understanding, if the person is the right one for you, she'll listen and discuss this with you.
And that's about it. I'm sure there's more that can be said but it's late. Hope it helps!!
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^Not exactly sure about the "honest part" but I agree on other parts ^.^
Sometime trolling people is pretty amusing.
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On April 07 2014 22:43 puppykiller wrote:
Do any of you guys have any experience meeting strangers on campus during the day? I tried pua for a while when I first started putting myself out there and in retrospect I really dislike it and how it effected my outlook on life. Now that I have ditched it... and been alone for quite a while, I don't really know where to draw inspiration from.
That being said please don't respond unless you actually do have experience with this sort of a thing.
go study at a study area or coffee shop. check girls out. if u like something you see, they'll probably notice. if they like you, u might notice that too. if u get that lucky, figure out what to do from there. i usually find myself showing up there the next week around the same time, and then who knows
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I'm not saying he's right and she's wrong.. I'm not assigning blame because there's just not enough information to know who was right or wrong, when it went wrong, who made it go wrong, etc.
All I can see from this is that she's not interested, and he should simply move on to other prospects (even if there are none at the moment). In life, people will do things for various reasons which you will not always be privy to or understand. And sometimes they just don't care to explain shit. All you can say is, hey girl, what's the deal? I'm not really following the drift here, but whatevs. Call me when you wanna hang out, k? Cya.
This way you're not being rude, assumptive, aggressive, annoying, or what have you. You're just accepting the situation for what it is, leaving the ball in her court and moving on. Dwelling on a situation like this is useless, that's what I was saying by have more pride. You simply can't control how other people behave and sometimes you won't get the chance to understand it.. Hardnosed or not, you simply need to develop experience and this is how experience is developed, by experiencing.. I've been where you are and thought how you're thinking. In time you'll develop game sense and when a zerg techs directly to lair and takes 4 gasses, you'll know mutas are coming without having to scan the mutas, but that knowledge only develops after you get muta'd.
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On April 07 2014 22:13 Wombat_NI wrote:
Christ man, the whole working all the time/seeing my son on the days off thing isn't working out too well for me atm, massively stuck in a rut that I'd like to get out of.
The few and far-between interactions I've had with potentially cool women, it seems that the parent thing is something causing awkwardness. Either they think I'm maybe too serious if I throw it out in just chilled conversation, and I got shouted at one night for not mentioning it. Outside of that girls for some reason insist 'ah well, you'll get back with his mum' despite my protestations to the contrary lol.
I'm not really looking for anything in particular, but it'd be nice to get to know some people outside of my circle and see how things go there organically, but the parenthood thing might be sabotaging that.
I might add that I'm only 24, and a young looking 24 so I'd imagine that girls my age or younger aren't so much accustomed to such things, and when you're in your 30s this isn't really such a big deal
the girls are reading into you that you can't handle your situation right now. the fact that you have a son isn't a problem per se, but the fact that you're in a "rut" is a problem. if u get into a new relationship, she might get pregnant, then u need to take care of her too, but you already good too much to handle. this is ancient psychology of course.
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On March 23 2014 13:40 Chocolate wrote:
I don't fucking understand women
This girl (that I've admittedly not met in real life) that lives near where I'm going to college next year made it apparent that she wanted to be a in a girlfriend/boyfriend type relationship with me and that she desired my physically about two weeks ago. Now for the past week she has been ignoring half of my texts and really only has responded earnestly to one text where I asked her if I did something wrong
What the fuck. I don't even know what is happening. I assume she has lost interest/found someone else or something but I know women like to play these bullshit little games and I don't want to ask "ok, what did I do?" again because I suspect that is the wrong way to play the game. Any advice is welcome. I know I should follow the rule where you don't send any more texts after the last two go unanswered but...
I am thinking of just forgetting about her until I am actually on campus and can just ask to meet up with her or something, but that's hard because I like her. Aggg
I just stalked her and her ex-boyfriend's twitter accounts and now I know lol, she was breaking up with him, and if his passive-aggressive subtweets are any indication she cheated on him. Now I don't know if he read the texts that she had sent me and that counted as cheating, or if it was something else. Also she's really publicly religious. She likes me again now, though.
Also I've decided that she isn't really much more attractive than me.
Man this shit is too fucking complicated. I don't know if I'm the bad guy or the rebound, and honestly I don't want to be either.
This whole thing is dumb, fuck long distance relationships. Time to get gainz
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"Don't make jokes about your shortcomings"
Really wish I heard this when I was a virgin. My first time, I didn't tell the girl I was a virgin and I didn't last very long, much to her obvious disappointment. Later I managed to make her cum via oral and fingers, at which point I remarked, "Heh heh at least my fingers can do what my dick can't".
Never saw her again.
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On April 08 2014 13:21 Fumanchu wrote:
"Don't make jokes about your shortcomings"
Really wish I heard this when I was a virgin. My first time, I didn't tell the girl I was a virgin and I didn't last very long, much to her obvious disappointment. Later I managed to make her cum via oral and fingers, at which point I remarked, "Heh heh at least my fingers can do what my dick can't".
Never saw her again.
All that would've been solved if you just told her it was your first time. She would've understood it wasn't your fault and you were just utter crap in bed and probably given you time to learn!
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All that would've been solved if you just told her it was your first time. She would've understood it wasn't your fault and you were just utter crap in bed and probably given you time to learn!
Do you really think it'd be worth the effort? Someone who ditches a new partner after a mediocre first time in bed is probably really not worth holding onto. They're not willing to put in any effort or patience for you, so chances are all they'll do is use you.
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On April 08 2014 09:01 Volband wrote:Show nested quote +On April 08 2014 08:27 r.Evo wrote:
Did you literally send her a list saying "I'm available the 10th, 14th and 19th, but for the 19th only between 6 and 10 pm"? And she said "None of those work for me" and then you started asking how she could possible know she has no time at the 19th?
It's so literal you almost got the days right, lol. But tell me, what am I supposed to do, when I ask her if she's still interested in dating --> she says yes --> I tell her which days would be good for me ---> she's unrescheduleably busy on them all, except for 30 mins. All right, so I was disrespectful, for not accepting silently her huge "no", but let me plead for a re-evauation, since the whole thing started with her saying yes. You don't just say yes to be nice. This is confusing. And yes, I definetly make all the wrong moves socially. Be confident. But not rude. Don't be a tool though. You are too nice. You are a jerk. Be straightforward. You asked for too much. Move On. Don't assume it's totally over. You know, I feel dumb when I switch into "ok, it's over" mode, but I feel the same with the "let's not leave it at that" mode. I tried to be nicer with people, but somehow I still end up either arguing or (apparently) hurting them.
(Let's start at the point where you're like "Yo wanna date?" and she's like "Yo, sure!" - Personally I hate calling dates "dates" but if it works for you, all fine.)
Cookie-cutter: Give her a specific date and time. "Hey, wanna do x at y 'o clock on z?" (Personally I'd use "Hey, I want to do x at y 'o clock on z, wanna join me?" - again, preference). If she now says "Welp, sorry, that doesn't work for me." there are two things we can do:
a) Suggest another date. If she also doesn't have time for us there (completely irrelevant if that's made up or for real) we will look like a dumbass if we keep this chain going.
b) Depending on the girl after the first or second suggestion (the more.. outgoing and the less shy the quicker I'd do this) tell her something along the lines of "Alright, you're hard to get. You're taking care of our date now. What are we doing when?"
The beauty of this is that you're retaining a leading position, take responsibility off her while also forcing her to invest if she wants to continue while in the former case you look weaker and weaker the more you keep throwing random dates out.
If she's hesitant at this point get out cleanly and firmly among the lines of "Damn. I gotta admit I really thought you're cute/I really liked you/whateverfloatsyourboat and I'm a bit sad that you don't see this the same way. Either way, cool meeting you and maybe we'll see each other around."
Be nice about it. This isn't a "and maybe pls pls I'll ask again tomorrow anyway", this is a clear cut. If you get a "OMG NO NO NO THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT OMG" here, it's still on. If you don't I would, depending on how high I'd value the girl, consider giving her a call after 2-3 weeks to see if I can get another shot at it. If she doesn't return that, next.
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On April 08 2014 14:15 Thereisnosaurus wrote:Show nested quote +All that would've been solved if you just told her it was your first time. She would've understood it wasn't your fault and you were just utter crap in bed and probably given you time to learn! Do you really think it'd be worth the effort? Someone who ditches a new partner after a mediocre first time in bed is probably really not worth holding onto. They're not willing to put in any effort or patience for you, so chances are all they'll do is use you.
Maybe she had better options, and didn't want to waste time after finding out what they were like in bed?
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On April 08 2014 16:32 WarSame wrote:Show nested quote +On April 08 2014 14:15 Thereisnosaurus wrote:All that would've been solved if you just told her it was your first time. She would've understood it wasn't your fault and you were just utter crap in bed and probably given you time to learn! Do you really think it'd be worth the effort? Someone who ditches a new partner after a mediocre first time in bed is probably really not worth holding onto. They're not willing to put in any effort or patience for you, so chances are all they'll do is use you. Maybe she had better options, and didn't want to waste time after finding out what they were like in bed?
Or maybe additionally she's like lots of people who treat a one-night stand as a one-night stand, and not like extended-term fuck buddies, no matter how great the sex was or anything else.
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On April 08 2014 17:23 JudicatorHammurabi wrote:Show nested quote +On April 08 2014 16:32 WarSame wrote:On April 08 2014 14:15 Thereisnosaurus wrote:All that would've been solved if you just told her it was your first time. She would've understood it wasn't your fault and you were just utter crap in bed and probably given you time to learn! Do you really think it'd be worth the effort? Someone who ditches a new partner after a mediocre first time in bed is probably really not worth holding onto. They're not willing to put in any effort or patience for you, so chances are all they'll do is use you. Maybe she had better options, and didn't want to waste time after finding out what they were like in bed? Or maybe additionally she's like lots of people who treat a one-night stand as a one-night stand, and not like extended-term fuck buddies, no matter how great the sex was or anything else.
Yeah sure. If you have great sex you definitely don't want to repeat the experience.
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EPT
