Dating: How's your luck? - Page 362

On December 28 2013 17:05 aksfjh wrote:
So, online dating is a little weird. On the one hand, you have to be yourself, which is super easy. I don't pretend to be a lion tamer or some guy that really enjoys sports. On the other hand, I feel like I'm only presenting a specific version at a time. There's the super smart, bookish aksfjh that loves science, economics, and politics. There's also the gamer aksfjh, that will blow an entire week on Skyrim, SC2, and various indie games sitting in the backlog. Then there's the athletic aksfjh that cycles 150-200 miles a week. And the super hardworking aksfjh that will gladly work 12 hour days without a hesitation. Mixed in there are obviously conflicting aksfjhs, like the one that needs a lot affirmation and attention, and the one that is totally cool only talking 2-3 times in a single week.

Maybe it just feels weird because I'm trying to talk to so many women at once, and see these different versions in such rapid succession and have to present each one as me on a whole, not simply as a part.



I've dated a few women who get a kick out of making their BF (slightly) jealous. Obviously not a crazy kind of jealous, but enough to know that she is "worth fighting for."

On December 28 2013 17:35 dravernor wrote:
I just happened to catch a bit of 'The Bachelor' on TV. Does anyone else think this show is awfully wrong in every single way? Right from picking a man and setting him out on dates with multiple women (ignoring the part where he is on tv the whole time) and making him eliminate them one at a time afer forging a connection with them. He then narrows it down to two women that he is simultaneously dating, that know each other. He tells them both he loves them and then takes them separately to meet his family and they grill the women. At the end of the show he takes them each on a final date and proposes to one of them.
How is any of that acceptable? Thoughts?

From Wikipedia
On February 26, 2009, in an exclusive interview between The Bachelor Season 13 contestant Megan Parris, and Steve Carbone, Megan commented that the producers edit the footage to create a fictional storyline. "I don't think [the producers] showed any real conversation I had with anyone... The viewers fail to realize that editing is what makes the show... You'll hear someone make one comment and then they'll show a clip of somebody's face to make it look like that is their facial reaction to that statement, but really, somebody made that face the day before to something else. It's just piecing things together to make a story."
On March 26, 2009, Megan Parris argued that not only was the show scripted, but that producers bullied contestants into saying things to the camera that contestants did not want to say. "'There's nothing real about it,' she said of the show's trademark "confessionals," in which contestants talk to the camera about the latest goings-on. "It is scripted," she said. "They basically will call you names, berate you, curse at you until they get you to say what they want you to say." Both ABC and Warner Bros., the studio that produces The Bachelor, had no comment."
On March 15, 2010, creator Mike Fleiss appeared on 20/20 and said that he develops contestants into characters that will cater to his audience's tastes and that they "need [their] fair share of villains every season." Fleiss has come under fire for admitting that The Bachelor has less to do with reality than it does making good television.
On February 24, 2012, during the taping of The Women Tell All episode of The Bachelor, a private conversation between contestant Courtney Robertson and a show producer went public when microphones were accidentally left on in between camera takes. The conversation revealed the producer's role as a coach encouraging Robertson to fake certain emotions for the camera which she was not feeling.

On December 28 2013 23:21 The_Masked_Shrimp wrote:
ANd imo as long as you don't lie to that girl saying you love her and gonna spend your life with her there is no big problem. Dating is there to get to know someone better so nothing wrong about it.

On December 28 2013 19:31 Mikau wrote:
While we're discussing the lack of drive towards sex and self improvement. Do you people think masturbating too much contributes in some way? I fap like crazy normally, as in multiple times per day every day. I've tried the no fap thing a couple of times before, but I usually caved before or around the first week, thinking it's just cruel and unusual punishment . Maybe something worth looking into (again)?

And speaking of self improvement and trying and getting yourself out there:
How much of a douche would I be if I ask a girl out that's been flirting with me a lot (I'm pretty sure she's into me, but I've been wrong before) that I'm not thát interested in? Granted I don't really know her (she's a cashier at a local super market). I mean she's cute and all, but she doesn't get my heart racing. It seems like a dick move to ask her out basically as an ego boost or 'just to get myself out there'.

On December 29 2013 03:49 Najda wrote:
She probably doesn't think of you that way and therefore hasn't been looking for hints. Be more direct.

On December 29 2013 03:44 Nouar wrote:
When you're carefully hinting at someone that she would interest you greatly (very carefully), leaving small clues, dutifully ignored.
When you're having a talk with her about potential boyfriends/girlfriends and the way of getting them to know what you think during a footing session and she agrees with you that ignoring hints can mean she's either dumb or doing it on purpose...

Is it a next level rejection, or is it she's dumb and doesn't get I'm talking about her xD Ahahahah my head hurts ! (she's usually quite smart, otherwise I wouldn't be interested :-p)

(unrelated : bonus points when the 2010 European enduro horse racing champion wants to sleep with you and you were not even trying, though.)

On December 29 2013 04:00 rezoacken wrote:
That's why people should try to have physical contact rather than discuss their way into that kind of stuff. It serves 2 purposes:

-First it ease the way to whatever is next. It's arousing and will make a bolder move more acceptable. For example, a massage before a kiss in the neck before a real kiss. Or simply holding hands before the massage.

-Second it acts as a test. If she withdraw hands or decline every physical game or activity, it's a big sign of things not working yet (or ever). Unless you have an explicit refuse, maybe it's only nervousness and you can try to double check. Either way it sends a far more powerful message than any verbal hint you can think of and is in my opinion simply the way to go.

Or for the first step, proposing games or gently touching arms and sides.

On December 29 2013 04:10 rezoacken wrote:
Ok. I can see how this would make the situation a lot more difficult. So on that side I'd obviously avoid doing anything risking jail time. However, you can still go with the very minor stuff at the base even if you're not alone. Forget about massage and neck kissing but as I edited my post I think just the little ones are okay: . Obviously not some awkward 10s touch but just... being more touchy. Unless base rules even go as far as forbidding that.

On December 29 2013 01:32 r.Evo wrote:

Yes, hugely. Now I don't recommend it as some form of self-improvement or because fapping is evil and omg addictions omg (that whole nofap stuff is kind of... out of hand) but being like "I'll get my satisfaction from sex instead of fapping" should be a slight motivation to go out and chase some. Just do it.


Do you want to improve your social life and how you work with people in general? Go for it. Talk to bus drivers, grandmas at the bus stop and ask that grumpy clerk if he/she had a bad day. Take up every single opportunity to communicate more than usual and if there aren't any try out ways to make them happen.

For the specific case: flirting, asking people out or even just talking to them with the intention of sex is all completely fine as long as you're honest about it when they are trying to figure out what's going on. It literally boils down to do whatever the hell you want as long as the other person consents to it.