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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
rezoacken
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada2719 Posts
December 12 2013 23:49 GMT
#6921
Saying you are sorry for them and then say they are mostly bitches is pretty funny. Especially when the person you quoted was talking about generalizations.
Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.
AeroGear
Profile Joined July 2009
Canada652 Posts
December 13 2013 03:26 GMT
#6922
Here's my personal update:

Broke first base last night at 2 am ^_^
Feeling of soft lips, my hands wrapped around her bottom.
Highlight of my week, after 3+ months of breakup withdrawal (coming out of a 1.5 years relationship)

6th date! Oh so slow, but worth it.
Met online, exchanged a few e-mails.

She works across my office, like a 2min walk. We met in person first time for a 20min chat/stroll in the middle of the work day. We met again for a beer and a 5 hours long talk (way too long I know!). Met a third time for dinner in her office building. Met a fourth time for dinner at her place followed by a night out at the theater (which was rather bad but "oh well"). Met a fifth time at my place, she taught me how to make dumplings, surprisingly easy and delicious. Another 5 hours of talking...T_T, good night, kisses on cheeks, was dissapointed...

But NO MORE! Last night was sixth date, was time to take matters in my own hands. Went for a stroll, at -20 celsius, gotta love Montreal. Hot chocolate then went back to her place. Would've left like a dumbass but she proposed to watch a movie (thank you!). Could'nt decide on making "The move" while movie was playing so I waited, and waited, and waited, AND WAITED. Long ass movie...

Could wait no longer on my way out, had to take a leap of faith, altough was it really? I'm just blind as fuck in these matters... However she was pleased. But now I need more! Priceless warmth of a woman....

Has always been hard for me to break ice, my ex was much more experienced than me and pretty much thrust her tongue in my mouth on the third date. While this was awesome its somewhat a turnoff when the girl you're attracted to has all this experience, from being with so many other men beforehand. Wether it be 5 or 10 or god knows how many. When my time was up she proceeded to dump me, for whatever reasons. Moving on...! Fortunately this gal is patient and understanding (so far), and she put up with my shyness, altough I suspect she's rather shy as well.

I also learned last night that she's a fan of fallout, borderlands and bioshock, how awesome is that!?!
Driven by hate, fueled by rage
rezoacken
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada2719 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-12-13 08:41:55
December 13 2013 08:34 GMT
#6923
Girl is into you just proceed to each successive steps with no fear of rejection.

She will probably keep sending signals. Like when she asked you to stay for a movie. So don't go too slow also As soon as you feel it would be a good time for X just do it.
Either we are alone in the Universe or we are not. Both are equally terrifying.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32087 Posts
December 13 2013 15:01 GMT
#6924
On December 13 2013 06:17 dravernor wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 13 2013 03:54 ComaDose wrote:
On December 13 2013 02:57 Steins;Gate wrote:
I'm satisfied with being single. :D

This goes in this thread right? lol

nope just whining, generalizations and telling people to stop being beta.

And some pretty bad advice. I feel sorry for some of these girls because of the horrible advice being offered T_T but to each their own. If it works for you...
Not to say I'm on their side. Most of these girls sound like bitches tbh.

damn bitches i hate bitches

*browses reddit mra section*
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
Cainam
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States421 Posts
December 13 2013 17:23 GMT
#6925
On December 13 2013 02:24 Broetchenholer wrote:Then there is girl B, encountered her on online-dating, but never saw her as girlfriend-material, cause she lives 200 kilometers away. Somehow, she still stayed interested and we are writing all the time. Mostly silly and funny stuff, but also about some more serious topics. I am looking forward to reading her mails and as she put it, "damn, i am refreshing my inbox way too often these days."


Don't be afraid to go for it. I've been talking to a girl who lives 180 miles (300km?) away for a few months now and we finally met up this past weekend. I was really worried it was going to be weird in person, but it turned out to be pretty damn amazing. She's coming up to see me this weekend and I don't know if it'll last due to the distance, but even if it doesn't I've met a really amazing girl and any time I'm able to spend with her I'll be grateful for.
Kleinmuuhg
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Vanuatu4091 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-12-13 17:31:54
December 13 2013 17:25 GMT
#6926
just noticed your name is maniac spelled backwards
This is our town, scrub
SaturnGreed
Profile Joined December 2013
1 Post
Last Edited: 2013-12-22 02:47:14
December 14 2013 02:26 GMT
#6927
On December 14 2013 02:23 Cainam wrote:
Don't be afraid to go for it. I've been talking to a girl who lives 180 miles (300km?) away for a few months now and we finally met up this past weekend. I was really worried it was going to be weird in person, but it turned out to be pretty damn amazing. She's coming up to see me this weekend and I don't know if it'll last due to the distance, but even if it doesn't I've met a really amazing girl and any time I'm able to spend with her I'll be grateful for.


That's great that a long distance relationship is working out for you. I tried it twice before and both times it ended in failure for me. I hope it last for you and that you are happy. I might try out http://www.freedatinghelper.com/reviews/cupidswand-com/ again and get myself into another long distance relationship seeing as how it is possible to find success their.
THEPPLsELBOW
Profile Joined November 2010
United States190 Posts
December 14 2013 05:10 GMT
#6928
Anniversary is coming up, does anybody have any good memories of theirs to share? Perhaps I can brainstorm some ideas from that
dravernor
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
Netherlands6189 Posts
December 14 2013 05:49 GMT
#6929
On December 13 2013 08:49 rezoacken wrote:
Saying you are sorry for them and then say they are mostly bitches is pretty funny. Especially when the person you quoted was talking about generalizations.

^_^ I'm aware. I don't suppose my post makes sense in the context I meant. I'll explain later. No time.
<3
LeeDawg
Profile Joined April 2012
United States1306 Posts
December 14 2013 08:29 GMT
#6930
On December 14 2013 14:10 THEPPLsELBOW wrote:
Anniversary is coming up, does anybody have any good memories of theirs to share? Perhaps I can brainstorm some ideas from that


honestly, the first time my last girlfriend and I had sex was a pretty amazing memory. we were dating for a while, and 'hooked up' a bunch, but she had only had full on sex once ever, and so we both wanted to wait until the moment was right. we got into a fight a day or two before, but we resolved it very constructively. a few hours later, we did the whole foreplay thing, and then we decided to do it. there had been soft rain the whole night, and we both loved rain, especially thunderstorms. literally the second I penetrated, the first crack of thunder rang out. it was really gentle, emotional, loving sex, which I had never really had before. the only girl I had done anything sexual with before that was basically just us 'bangin' so to have sex with someone I felt something for was... just amazing. we ended up dating for a year or so more, and I still consider her the only girl I've ever really loved. I have no idea how that will help you in the slightest on your anniversary, but it's honestly the best memory, dating wise, that I have.
:-)
MightyBill
Profile Joined October 2013
93 Posts
December 14 2013 16:38 GMT
#6931
I netted a crazy one. Met her one week ago on the party of someone I know from a lecture. The night was fine, but the day after the girl was already incredibly jealous of a picture of me with my sister. She also deleted the number of my best female friend on my cellphone(who I've known for about 13 years) and told me I'm not allowed to cheat. Now since I've known the girl for 6 days and she sends me pictures of dildos on a regular basis, so I decided to get the fuck out :D if there's massive fallout I'll update you guys.
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
December 14 2013 17:57 GMT
#6932
Dayum she better be hot to make up for that level of crazy.
Merany
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
France890 Posts
December 14 2013 18:08 GMT
#6933
+ Show Spoiler +
On December 04 2013 04:03 Merany wrote:
How do you guys deal with a girl that makes you feel like the dating phase is moving at a really slow pace?

The setup is: met this girl through online dating. We started to talk a bit, exchanged 10 or so emails back and forth, she seemed like someone I'd like to date (cute in my book and quite clever) so I asked her for a first meet up which she accepted. We had a beer in a nice bar downtown and spent about 2-3 hours talking and both seemed to enjoy ourselves. That was a bit more than a week ago. We agreed on a second date which could not happen until last Sunday.
She suggested we go to our city's aquarium which was ok and we ended up drinking a nice hot chocolate in another bar downtown. Once again, I had fun and she seemed to enjoy herself. I also started to try to flirt a bit but with very little success. I remember her mentioning she had a pain somewhere in the back, said to her jokingly that I make very good massages, to which she replayed with a smile something along the line of "clever boy, aren't you? Nice try" and then moved on. I'm still fine at that point.
So yesterday, I asked her if she wants to do something this week, she replied, "yeah, why not tonight" and we agreed to watch a movie at her place. During the movie (something funny), she was clearly keeping her distances on the couch. Not too obvious but still and I'm starting to wonder what is up. End of the movie, I still have an hour left before grabbing my bus so we spend some time talking. I'm cold and I see a blanket near me, put it on us both and use that opportunity to get a lot closer to her and I'm greeted with the exact same "clever boy, aren't you". I replied "Do you blame me for trying?" and she once again closed the discussion with a "I guess it's part of the game".
The only other "hint" I can remember of was her mentioning being messy with her place followed by a "I'd better warn you before…".
And I left with a kiss on the cheek (which in France, is totally normal, we never hug).

Sooooo…. Am I just wayyyy overthinking it? Maybe she just needs a lot of time but seriously, I'm starting to question myself at that point… I mean, she would just cut things loose if she was not interested right?
Is it a good idea to just be upfront about it with her? Like call her and ask?
Another important element in that story, at least in my eyes is that she a going on a one month vacation in Argentina in about a week and a half (she's going alone, sort of a challenge she set up for herself). I feel like I absolutely need to "conclude" something before she goes…

Oh btw, we're both 25, so we've both had our own experiences before. I'm just really not used to that kind of super slow pace…

And this post as gone way longer than I expected Any advice appreciated!


So, I'm going to give a small update on my situation because sometimes, failing shit tests is not the end of the world and things end up rather well (or kinda, more on that later).

After the "failed" night at her place, I decided I was going to give me one last chance. In my city, there's this event once a year where they have crazy light animations all over the place, "Fêtes de lumières" if you want to google it, it's pretty cool! So I asked her if she wanted to go with me and after a bit of back and forth texting, she said she was getting back to me on Sunday. Sunday comes and she sends me a message: "what about you come at my place, we watch a movie together and we go out after?"
Needless to say, did not miss the opportunity this time (the sign was way too clear anyway), we never went out and spent the evening making out on her couch. We also talked about the first evening and she clearly said I should have made a move We've been able to see each other a couple times this week, including dinner at my place and me sleeping at her (dunno if sleep is the right word there though, cause we did not sleep that much )

So far, so good! Problem is, she is still going on a one month vacation in Argentina and she is leaving tomorrow
Today, she said she wanted to have a talk. The quick version was:
"Listen, we don't know each other well enough, can't promise you anything while I'm away, don't want you to wait for me because I don't want to break your heart, can't say for sure I'll be willing to continue when I come back because I have no idea in what state of mind I'll be even though I really want to start something long term with someone, if you have opportunities go for it"
And that's pretty much it. I said a bunch of stuff but the even shorter version could be:
"I don't want to know what you're going to do there, just enjoy your trip. I AM going to wait and I'm willing to take the risk because I do want to spend more time with you"

I think we agreed to live our lives for a month and to contact each other then.

Soooooooo. I guess my only option is too wait. I enjoy being with this girl. And I know that unless something absolutely miraculous happens until then (and we all know that kind of stuff only belongs to movies), I'll still be single.

Any expert on women psychology maybe to give me some insight as to why she acted that way?
Any advice maybe to keep this month shorter? (that's going to be the longest month of my life...).

Don't know what I'm really looking for by posting here, another hald sad, half happy story to add to the thread at the very least I guess
Calanthe
Profile Joined October 2012
United States145 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-12-14 18:17:30
December 14 2013 18:09 GMT
#6934
On December 15 2013 01:38 MightyBill wrote:
I netted a crazy one. Met her one week ago on the party of someone I know from a lecture. The night was fine, but the day after the girl was already incredibly jealous of a picture of me with my sister. She also deleted the number of my best female friend on my cellphone(who I've known for about 13 years) and told me I'm not allowed to cheat. Now since I've known the girl for 6 days and she sends me pictures of dildos on a regular basis, so I decided to get the fuck out :D if there's massive fallout I'll update you guys.

The jealousy thing is really, highly worrying, but the dildos thing isn't so crazy. A little forward for someone you've known for six days, granted, but girls being interested in dildos is not, in and of itself, crazy.

On December 15 2013 03:08 Merany wrote:
Any expert on women psychology maybe to give me some insight as to why she acted that way?

Hi. Real life woman here. When I was single, one of my great pleasures in life was getting reasonably drunk while on vacation, flirting shamelessly, and hoping that the flirting ended in sex.

What she's setting up here is an out for herself. Sometimes you come back from a break or a vacation and you find yourself thinking, "You know, I'm not really into this." Jobs, people you're dating, hobbies you've taken up, etc. Coming back from a vacation clears your head a little, so sometimes it's easier to admit these things to yourself. If she decides that she doesn't want to see you any more, don't fret. You can't be The One for everyone.
my heart's the bitter buffalo
Firebolt145
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Lalalaland34495 Posts
December 14 2013 18:11 GMT
#6935
On December 15 2013 03:09 Calanthe wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 15 2013 01:38 MightyBill wrote:
I netted a crazy one. Met her one week ago on the party of someone I know from a lecture. The night was fine, but the day after the girl was already incredibly jealous of a picture of me with my sister. She also deleted the number of my best female friend on my cellphone(who I've known for about 13 years) and told me I'm not allowed to cheat. Now since I've known the girl for 6 days and she sends me pictures of dildos on a regular basis, so I decided to get the fuck out :D if there's massive fallout I'll update you guys.

The jealousy thing is really, highly worrying, but the dildos thing isn't so crazy. A little forward for someone you've known for six days, granted, but girls being interested in dildos is not, in and of itself, crazy.

Would you really send pictures of them as dirty talk? I can think of far better pictures to send...
Moderator
Calanthe
Profile Joined October 2012
United States145 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-12-14 18:20:34
December 14 2013 18:20 GMT
#6936
On December 15 2013 03:11 Firebolt145 wrote:
Would you really send pictures of them as dirty talk? I can think of far better pictures to send...


Absolutely not, but that's almost entirely due to a slew of Other Issues. I also won't go as far as to say that she's Doing It Wrong or whatever. To each their own.

If you're going to send dirty pics, there are indeed far better ones to send. I wonder if the dildo pics were like "this is my personal collection" or if they were like stock photos. Hahaha.
my heart's the bitter buffalo
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
December 14 2013 18:25 GMT
#6937
On December 15 2013 03:08 Merany wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +
On December 04 2013 04:03 Merany wrote:
How do you guys deal with a girl that makes you feel like the dating phase is moving at a really slow pace?

The setup is: met this girl through online dating. We started to talk a bit, exchanged 10 or so emails back and forth, she seemed like someone I'd like to date (cute in my book and quite clever) so I asked her for a first meet up which she accepted. We had a beer in a nice bar downtown and spent about 2-3 hours talking and both seemed to enjoy ourselves. That was a bit more than a week ago. We agreed on a second date which could not happen until last Sunday.
She suggested we go to our city's aquarium which was ok and we ended up drinking a nice hot chocolate in another bar downtown. Once again, I had fun and she seemed to enjoy herself. I also started to try to flirt a bit but with very little success. I remember her mentioning she had a pain somewhere in the back, said to her jokingly that I make very good massages, to which she replayed with a smile something along the line of "clever boy, aren't you? Nice try" and then moved on. I'm still fine at that point.
So yesterday, I asked her if she wants to do something this week, she replied, "yeah, why not tonight" and we agreed to watch a movie at her place. During the movie (something funny), she was clearly keeping her distances on the couch. Not too obvious but still and I'm starting to wonder what is up. End of the movie, I still have an hour left before grabbing my bus so we spend some time talking. I'm cold and I see a blanket near me, put it on us both and use that opportunity to get a lot closer to her and I'm greeted with the exact same "clever boy, aren't you". I replied "Do you blame me for trying?" and she once again closed the discussion with a "I guess it's part of the game".
The only other "hint" I can remember of was her mentioning being messy with her place followed by a "I'd better warn you before…".
And I left with a kiss on the cheek (which in France, is totally normal, we never hug).

Sooooo…. Am I just wayyyy overthinking it? Maybe she just needs a lot of time but seriously, I'm starting to question myself at that point… I mean, she would just cut things loose if she was not interested right?
Is it a good idea to just be upfront about it with her? Like call her and ask?
Another important element in that story, at least in my eyes is that she a going on a one month vacation in Argentina in about a week and a half (she's going alone, sort of a challenge she set up for herself). I feel like I absolutely need to "conclude" something before she goes…

Oh btw, we're both 25, so we've both had our own experiences before. I'm just really not used to that kind of super slow pace…

And this post as gone way longer than I expected Any advice appreciated!


+ Show Spoiler +
So, I'm going to give a small update on my situation because sometimes, failing shit tests is not the end of the world and things end up rather well (or kinda, more on that later).

After the "failed" night at her place, I decided I was going to give me one last chance. In my city, there's this event once a year where they have crazy light animations all over the place, "Fêtes de lumières" if you want to google it, it's pretty cool! So I asked her if she wanted to go with me and after a bit of back and forth texting, she said she was getting back to me on Sunday. Sunday comes and she sends me a message: "what about you come at my place, we watch a movie together and we go out after?"
Needless to say, did not miss the opportunity this time (the sign was way too clear anyway), we never went out and spent the evening making out on her couch. We also talked about the first evening and she clearly said I should have made a move We've been able to see each other a couple times this week, including dinner at my place and me sleeping at her (dunno if sleep is the right word there though, cause we did not sleep that much )

So far, so good! Problem is, she is still going on a one month vacation in Argentina and she is leaving tomorrow
Today, she said she wanted to have a talk. The quick version was:
"Listen, we don't know each other well enough, can't promise you anything while I'm away, don't want you to wait for me because I don't want to break your heart, can't say for sure I'll be willing to continue when I come back because I have no idea in what state of mind I'll be even though I really want to start something long term with someone, if you have opportunities go for it"
And that's pretty much it. I said a bunch of stuff but the even shorter version could be:
"I don't want to know what you're going to do there, just enjoy your trip. I AM going to wait and I'm willing to take the risk because I do want to spend more time with you"

I think we agreed to live our lives for a month and to contact each other then.

Soooooooo. I guess my only option is too wait. I enjoy being with this girl. And I know that unless something absolutely miraculous happens until then (and we all know that kind of stuff only belongs to movies), I'll still be single.

Any expert on women psychology maybe to give me some insight as to why she acted that way?
Any advice maybe to keep this month shorter? (that's going to be the longest month of my life...).

Don't know what I'm really looking for by posting here, another hald sad, half happy story to add to the thread at the very least I guess


Good job making progress! Also I like the way she handled her going away for a month. You should definitely enjoy that time as well, don't use the fact that she is coming back as a reason not to meet new people, especially since it isn't a sure thing.

On December 15 2013 03:11 Firebolt145 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 15 2013 03:09 Calanthe wrote:
On December 15 2013 01:38 MightyBill wrote:
I netted a crazy one. Met her one week ago on the party of someone I know from a lecture. The night was fine, but the day after the girl was already incredibly jealous of a picture of me with my sister. She also deleted the number of my best female friend on my cellphone(who I've known for about 13 years) and told me I'm not allowed to cheat. Now since I've known the girl for 6 days and she sends me pictures of dildos on a regular basis, so I decided to get the fuck out :D if there's massive fallout I'll update you guys.

The jealousy thing is really, highly worrying, but the dildos thing isn't so crazy. A little forward for someone you've known for six days, granted, but girls being interested in dildos is not, in and of itself, crazy.

Would you really send pictures of them as dirty talk? I can think of far better pictures to send...


Yea fleshlights would be way better to send. I'm not into dildos for myself really.
maybenexttime
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
Poland5656 Posts
December 14 2013 18:28 GMT
#6938
On December 15 2013 01:38 MightyBill wrote:
I netted a crazy one. Met her one week ago on the party of someone I know from a lecture. The night was fine, but the day after the girl was already incredibly jealous of a picture of me with my sister. She also deleted the number of my best female friend on my cellphone(who I've known for about 13 years) and told me I'm not allowed to cheat. Now since I've known the girl for 6 days and she sends me pictures of dildos on a regular basis, so I decided to get the fuck out :D if there's massive fallout I'll update you guys.


You should be careful. She seems to be the type that would break your car or kill your pet...
Firebolt145
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Lalalaland34495 Posts
December 14 2013 18:29 GMT
#6939
On December 15 2013 03:20 Calanthe wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 15 2013 03:11 Firebolt145 wrote:
Would you really send pictures of them as dirty talk? I can think of far better pictures to send...


Absolutely not, but that's almost entirely due to a slew of Other Issues. I also won't go as far as to say that she's Doing It Wrong or whatever. To each their own.

If you're going to send dirty pics, there are indeed far better ones to send. I wonder if the dildo pics were like "this is my personal collection" or if they were like stock photos. Hahaha.

At the very least, sending dildo pictures to a guy you're trying to impress is 'Fucking Weird'.
Moderator
Calanthe
Profile Joined October 2012
United States145 Posts
December 14 2013 18:39 GMT
#6940
On December 15 2013 03:29 Firebolt145 wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 15 2013 03:20 Calanthe wrote:
On December 15 2013 03:11 Firebolt145 wrote:
Would you really send pictures of them as dirty talk? I can think of far better pictures to send...


Absolutely not, but that's almost entirely due to a slew of Other Issues. I also won't go as far as to say that she's Doing It Wrong or whatever. To each their own.

If you're going to send dirty pics, there are indeed far better ones to send. I wonder if the dildo pics were like "this is my personal collection" or if they were like stock photos. Hahaha.

At the very least, sending dildo pictures to a guy you're trying to impress is 'Fucking Weird'.

Still not willing to go that far with it. I don't think that girls showing that they're interested in sex or sex toys is weird.
my heart's the bitter buffalo
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