EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 34
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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SilentCrono
United States1420 Posts
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MutatedMiracle
Canada80 Posts
On October 26 2011 06:51 arbitrationus wrote: I think I disagree with most of what youve written here, with all due respect. For starters, the whole "reality is a cold hearted heeby jeeby thing" is about as defeatist of an attitude as I can think of. Youve lost the battle before its even begun. My personal philosophy (again MY personal perspective) is that if life hands you lemons, you pimp slap life with those lemons and force feed that skank the most bitter lemonade he's ever suffered. Why not take the trashy circumstances thrown your way, and turn them into the best circumstances they could possibly be through your actions? Life is not a sentient, scheming orchestrator of negativity. Life is a meaningful, purpose filled series of events whose influence is subjective and determined by the person experiencing them. Give me one trashy scenario, and give me one determined man and one defeatist man, and to no surpise you will see two VERY different conclusions to such circumstances. Also, telling these guys here to "be confident" when they have nothing to place that confidence in is encouraging, but not so productive. You cant fabricate confidence in the long-term, sure youll fool a few at first but in the end true colors always show. Its better to invest in something that you are truly confident in (for example, a toned attractive physique) to see results, then to hope and pray that you can maintain a false personality that emanates accomplishment when you have no evidence of accomplishing anything. Dont fake it till you make it. Make it, and then you wont have to fake it : P Lastly, I agree that hot ladies will be, "sploit for choice, so you better be the best choice in the pile". However, I think a real man doesnt ask to be someone elses choice. Instead, he makes it so that he has the choice himself over which hot lady he wants "in the pile". If your a smart man, with a good looking attractive appearance to back it up, YOU hold all the cards. Enough with this submissive, defeatist, "Oh boy oh boy, I hope she picks me" attitude, my fellow gentlemen. Invest in your bodies, take care of your appearences, and know with confidence that there are several girls thinking about you "Oh boy oh boy, I hope he picks me", instead of the other way around. Damn, you got life pretty figured out, eh? =P Thanks for the advice. | ||
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DerNebel
Denmark648 Posts
On October 26 2011 06:51 arbitrationus wrote: I think I disagree with most of what youve written here, with all due respect. For starters, the whole "reality is a cold hearted heeby jeeby thing" is about as defeatist of an attitude as I can think of. Youve lost the battle before its even begun. My personal philosophy (again MY personal perspective) is that if life hands you lemons, you pimp slap life with those lemons and force feed that skank the most bitter lemonade he's ever suffered. [...] Give me one trashy scenario, and give me one determined man and one defeatist man, and to no surpise you will see two VERY different conclusions to such circumstances. Also, telling these guys here to "be confident" when they have nothing to place that confidence in is encouraging, but not so productive. You cant fabricate confidence in the long-term, sure youll fool a few at first but in the end true colors always show. Its better to invest in something that you are truly confident in (for example, a toned attractive physique) to see results, then to hope and pray that you can maintain a false personality that emanates accomplishment when you have no evidence of accomplishing anything. Dont fake it till you make it. Make it, and then you wont have to fake it : P Point taken, don't respect me, Im a skinny teenager on the internet  I don't seee myself as a defeatist, I like to make the best of whatever life throws at me. My point was that you really can't pick out a certain type of girl you really want to be with, because life will change so quickly around you that your expectations will be way beyond their expiry dates before they even reach the store windows. A couple of years ago I couldn't possibly have expected to meet the girl I did, because I never met anyone remotely like her. I guess a lot of my point got lost, because I say stuff like that with this huge grin on my face, and I am actually really positive. The only point I actually really disagree with you on is when you call life "purpose-filled", because I fundamentally believe life to be so random that we, with our limited understanding, percieve it to have meaning. I am cynical, but optimistic. Young, hopeful and completely ignorant, but in a weird way aware of it. | ||
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Amlitzer
United States471 Posts
On October 23 2011 23:43 mav451 wrote: How good are you with non-verbal cues? Cuz a "yes" doesn't always mean yes. You mean like a girl pruning and flipping her hair, looking into your eyes, touching your arm and shoulder lightly, giggling constantly, smiling the whole time, and then some? Yeah, she did all that. | ||
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R4TM
Brazil140 Posts
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Perfect
United States322 Posts
Sexy eh? | ||
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Deleted User 183001
2939 Posts
On October 26 2011 06:31 DerNebel wrote: If you really want a lot of ladies, if you want to be hot, then listen to this guy. Read the post, then read it again. When you're done reading it, you pick out the most inspirational part. Then you memorize those parts, and then you memorize the others. Then you go do what he tells you to. Because it WILL make you hot and girls WILL be attracted to you. Personally, I don't really care that much. But that's just me. I find that the girls I like the most coincidentally doesn't really care about good looks. Again though, that's just me and I would not suggest this kind of thinking to anyone else, you should go figure that out for yourself. To anyone out there feeling disheartened: Take a good hard think about the kind of girls you would like to see yourself with. Then throw that shit out the window, because reality is a cold, hard bastard with a wicked sense of humour and he laughs his ass off when another silly human tries to plan every twist and turn of its insignificant little life. So keep on trying, be confident aaaand if you want hot ladies, expect this: They WILL be spoilt for choice, so you better be the best choice in the pile. Oh, and clbull? Two days doesn't count as a relationship or dating, plus she was toying with you because you look either vulnerable or sheepish. Possibly both, don't ask me, you're the guy with the mirror. Some girls like to do that, and I don't find it particularly sexy. Neither should you. What sucks is I'm a bit into more serious relationships, and I've had a few girls who were so dazzling I've been asked if they're models. Despite this, they weren't really the long-time relationship type. le sigh. They also had other issues going on (like a lot of people of that vain sort do, sadly), so it was probably for the better . | ||
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A x i o M
United States78 Posts
On October 09 2011 15:41 TheBatman wrote: One time I thought I dated a girl, but it turns out she was just waving to someone else across the room Funniest thing ever. | ||
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ZiegFeld
351 Posts
On October 26 2011 07:31 Perfect wrote: With your manners on ladder? No, not one bit. I'm married and my wife plays terran at a plat level. Sexy eh? I wonder how many beatings that took you to get her there. | ||
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link0
United States1071 Posts
On October 26 2011 05:19 arbitrationus wrote: Im gonna say this once, cuz I genuinly feel bad for alot of you posting here, but dont want to argue endlessly with anyone about my opinion so here goes. Dating is not a matter of luck or not. Getting girls YOU WANT is not a matter of chance. Having options to choose from (and not being desperate losers) is all in your control. Im not calling everyone here a loser. Im saying that Ive read some pretty pathetic posts, and that it actually saddens me to see them, I genuinly feel bad for those posters who I wont single out by name : ( You want chicks? You want to not be forever alone? Its not a science, its very simple. BE ATTRACTIVE. THAT IS IT. GIRLS ARE NOT ATRRACTED TO YOU DUDE BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT ATTRACTIVE. AND UNLESS YOU LOOK LIKE THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTREDAME, THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR YOU TO BE UNATTRACTIVE OTHER THEN YOUR OWN LAZINESS. GIRLS SEE HOW YOU APPEAR, THAT IS THEIR FIRST IMPRESSION. IF YOU ARE UNATTRACTIVE, YOU COULD BE THE SWEETEST LITTLE CUPCAKE IN THE WORLD AND IT WONT MATTER. YOUR CONFIDENCE WILL SUFFER, YOUR APPEARENCE IS ALREADY SUFFERING, AND THEY WILL CHOOSE NOT TO SUFFER A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. Steps to take: 1) Go the gym 4-6 times in a week. Learn how to excercise, learn how to lift weights. Do that. Get off your lazy butt and do it. Get in pristine shape, the best possible shape you could push yourself to. 2) Buy new clothes. Dont wear your Team Liquid limited edition headband and underwear unless youve got muscle underneath it. Wear clothes that are cool looking and fashionable. 3) Come back here and message me. I challenge ANYONE here to do what I just suggested, (getting in good shape and taking care of your looks) and show me that theyre still failing in the dating department. I guarantee you, right here right now, you will see what you have been missing all along. Why do douchebag guys get the girls all the time? 9 times out of 10, its cuz they look good. Period. All that confidence and swag comes with being confident in your appearence. You can be an intellectually competent dude and fellow Starcraft player, but if you look like trash the girls will keep treating you as such. Im not trolling, and I hope you dudes seriously take what I said into consideration. I myself am personally striving to be the most attractive I can be (even though Ive been in a relationship for 8 years or so), and the increasing attention I get outside of my relationship is definetly becoming a confidence booster. I cant believe I went for so long thinking of a billion reasons why I wasnt paid attention too. And it was as simple as that, if your ugly and unattractive why should you expect to have girls grovel for you? Look good, and you will feel good, the ladies who start to ask YOU for time should be enough evidence of that. Agree, but you left out money/power/career aspects of being "attractive." Looks help a lot, but money and power are even better. All that along with a great attitude, you will be fucking every hot girl you meet. It's all about status. For women, it's youth and beauty (which fade). For men, it's virility, money, and power (which grows). As a man, you will only get to attract and fuck women of equal or lower status. This is why young women date older men. | ||
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Amlitzer
United States471 Posts
On October 26 2011 05:19 arbitrationus wrote: Im gonna say this once, cuz I genuinly feel bad for alot of you posting here, but dont want to argue endlessly with anyone about my opinion so here goes. Dating is not a matter of luck or not. Getting girls YOU WANT is not a matter of chance. Having options to choose from (and not being desperate losers) is all in your control....... I don't mean to be insulting, but you seriously have no idea what you are talking about. I can easily score a 300 on my APFT, weight lift 3 times a week, and have only a 7% bf. Your looks matter very little when it comes to girls. Girls don't date guys because they actually like us, they do it to prove their worth their their girl friends. Why do you think a girl who so easily before rejected you will all of a sudden be all over you when she sees you with a hot girl? If you want a hot girlfriend, the best thing to do is either pay a hot girl to pretend to be your girlfriend or pay some high status rich frat boys to let you hang out with them. That will show off your status and thus your worth to females. | ||
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ChineseWife
United States373 Posts
On October 26 2011 07:51 Amlitzer wrote: I don't mean to be insulting, but you seriously have no idea what you are talking about. I can easily score a 300 on my APFT, weight lift 3 times a week, and have only a 7% bf. Your looks matter very little when it comes to girls. Girls don't date guys because they actually like us, they do it to prove their worth their their girl friends. Why do you think a girl who so easily before rejected you will all of a sudden be all over you when she sees you with a hot girl? If you want a hot girlfriend, the best thing to do is either pay a hot girl to pretend to be your girlfriend or pay some high status rich frat boys to let you hang out with them. That will show off your status and thus your worth to females. rofl where do you come from? | ||
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Cedstick
Canada3336 Posts
Directed at Amlitzer - Sup bro. I'm 6'3 with a pretty face and I can definitely tell you it helps. I see where you're comin'from, but you're waaaaay jaded. | ||
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Vul
United States685 Posts
My sad high school love story to cheer you up, and a little bit of advice for avoiding situations like mine: + Show Spoiler + When I was in high school I wanted to date my best friend (who was a girl) and I knew that she was into me as well (she later revealed this to me in college). However, I had this ex girlfriend who was mentally unstable (which I only realized after we started dating). I only dated her for those 9 months because she told that she would commit suicide if I broke up with her. After we finally broke up, I wanted to make my move with my good friend, but too late. The ex became friends with her and began telling her stories about her problems, and stories about me. It didn't exactly ruin our friendship right away, but it definitely made it impossible for me to date this girl, without my friend feeling awkward about her new found friendship with my ex. Bros before hos was essentially what she told me. My ex actually tried the same thing with a girl that I ended up dating and going to prom with in the future, although it didn't work out for her the second time around. It's amazing how someone can make themselves relevant in your life, looong after you wanted them to be. Please get to know people before you date them! I was too eager to jump into relationships in high school. I've been dating my current girlfriend for over a year and a half (my longest relationship) but I also really screened this girl. Even after I thought I wanted to date her, I gave it another month or two of just hanging out and hooking up, etc. Then I was sure. Since high school, I've made that a policy of mine and I think it's saved me a lot of heart ache. If you think you want to date someone, give it a month and then see. If you just met them or something, give it three months. You have nothing to lose by doing this and everything to gain. One of my really good friends is currently in a relationship with a chick that he only knew for two weeks before dating her. I can't believe that we're seniors in university, and he's still making these rookie dating mistakes. I think this chick is immature and frankly annoying, and I feel bad for my friend for having to deal with that, but it's his fault for dating her so quickly. I can't even hang out with him when she's there. | ||
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arbitrationus
53 Posts
On October 26 2011 07:44 link0 wrote: Agree, but you left out money/power/career aspects of being "attractive." Looks help a lot, but money and power are even better. All that along with a great attitude, you will be fucking every hot girl you meet. It's all about status. For women, it's youth and beauty (which fade). For men, it's virility, money, and power (which grows). As a man, you will only get to attract and fuck women of equal or lower status. This is why young women date older men. I dont believe woman are attracted to a man with money and power. I believe woman are attracted to the money and power, aka the ability to attain material things. Now, does the ability to attain material things raise your chances of getting a girl or girls? Absolutely. However, I believe your displacing the desire a woman (or person) has for tangible wealth with the provider and source of such materials, aka the man. Eliminate the power and wealth, eliminate the ability to attain physical possessions, and you'll have a more genuine and efficient approach to determining the key point: is the woman genuinely attracted to the man in question? I think we can agree wholeheartedly that in most cases, if the material possessions are a prerequisite for a relationship, then she is NOT (and never was) attracted to him. Nothing is free in this life. The wealthy, powerful, unattractive man exchanges one good for another good or service. In this case, the exchange of goods concerns the trade of his material possessions for the experience of a relationship with said female (whether its of a physical, emotional, or social nature). Such material sources of "attraction" are temporary, and last only as long as the provider of said materials is capable of providing such goods. Im personally more concerned with the natural attraction a female feels towards a male, an attraction that is independent of the possession of material goods and services. It is biological, instinctual, and irresistable. We dont know why we like boobies, we just do. She doesnt know why she likes a strong, capable, youthful and vigorous looking man, she just does. If you are that man, you will have met the pre-requisites necessary for such an attraction to take place. In my experience, younger woman date older men for security, not material possessions. Again, that security MAY COME in the form of material possessions, but it is not exclusive to it. The woman is looking for consistency and stability, which generally cannot be found in a youthful man's lifestyle. The fringe benefit is that on top of being emotionally secure and taken care of, such older men are generally able to provide a secure financial situation for the woman as well (the power and money idea you were speaking of beforehand). I think its dangerous to displace the desire for material wealth that a female may have with the man who is capable of providing such wealth. Personally, I want the dudes in this forum to be attractive without leaning on the crutch of material things or possessions. If they can be attractive independent of such factors, imagine when they eventually attain them at some point? Like you said, theyll be attracting all shapes and sizes of woman. Alas, here on these forums, the great majority are not of the age to attain such status. Nor will most of us ever attain such copious amounts of material wealth in our lifetimes. It is best to isolate what it is that is naturally attractive in gender relations (in my opinion), and then accentuate and strengthen those attributes of our personalities and physiques that will increase our attractive output to maximum effectiveness. Tldr version: Having money and stuff is the cherry on the cake in attracting chicks. But dont confuse it with the cake. YOU are the cake, make that cake as toned and yummy looking as possible, and you will without a doubt have girls lining up to take a bite ; ) | ||
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Bartosh
United States11 Posts
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arbitrationus
53 Posts
On October 26 2011 07:51 Amlitzer wrote: I don't mean to be insulting, but you seriously have no idea what you are talking about. I can easily score a 300 on my APFT, weight lift 3 times a week, and have only a 7% bf. Your looks matter very little when it comes to girls. Girls don't date guys because they actually like us, they do it to prove their worth their their girl friends. Why do you think a girl who so easily before rejected you will all of a sudden be all over you when she sees you with a hot girl? If you want a hot girlfriend, the best thing to do is either pay a hot girl to pretend to be your girlfriend or pay some high status rich frat boys to let you hang out with them. That will show off your status and thus your worth to females. I would respond with another page tearing apart everything you said, but Cedstick and Chinesewife seem to have handled you already, lol. So Ill keep it simple: 1) I doubt you would've said anything you did if what you told us about your physique, test scores, and overall appeal were true. Perhaps on Mars, where Martian women do not find physical appearance attractive but instead find psyonic potential as the most arousing quality, you would be right. But to this day, I havent met a single Earthbound girl who has not found a physically attractive man to be, well, attractive. 2) I think your remedy for finding a hot girlfriend (paying a hot girl to pretend to be your girlfriend or paying some frat dudes to let you chill with them and be a cool kid) speaks to your knowledge of woman or socialization. You tell me I dont know what Im talking about, and then go on to give the dating advice and attraction tactics of a fat 12 year old in a Disney channel movie. Paying frat boys (which by your post you seem to revere) to let you hang with them? Pathetic. I want to be that frat guy who attracts the girls, not the loser who gives them his lunch money and repulses them. Since Im out of college, Ill settle for well toned and physically attractive instead : ) 3) Finally, since both of your sad methods entailed paying off somebody, Im assuming your insecure about your personal worth outside of $$$. I dont need cash in my wallet to know a girl finds me attractive, I got weights and my own grit and determination for that. Its a sad sad day when a man has to lean on everything but himself to be attractive. Remove the crutch and THEN examine whether your genuinely attractive or not. This is why I believe, with all due respect, that your the one here who knows absolutly nothing about woman or anything outside of a Spawning Pool. Stop pretending to be a warrior behind a keyboard, get up pick up a dumbell and prove your worth instead of always trying to buy it, you marshmellow you. | ||
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squattincassanova
United States650 Posts
![[image loading]](http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff267/GApump/fugly.jpg) | ||
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Ghrimnar
Germany260 Posts
Key elements; 1) being self-confident attracts more than anything else. Women notice if you are fearless. 2) dont even THINK something like "wow, that crazy fucking hot woman spoke to the loser that is me". if you think that you have already lost. you gotta me strong and seem untouchable (you dont necessarily have to be it). that are the key elements and they cant be planned that well. | ||
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arbitrationus
53 Posts
On October 26 2011 09:29 Ghrimnar wrote: My body is totally normal, not very muscular, but i got a pretty face and much much self-confidence and i have not the slightest problem to get in contact with women. Youve already got an advantage over most dudes, dude : P You have an attractive face. Most guys dont, they are either average or not attractive. Thats why I think gym and exercise (losing weight, toning up) can help define a less attractive face for those of us who are not as gifted with angelic-like qualities. I'm sure your confidence helps a ton, from what I've seen girls dig confidence something fierce, but I'm also sure they'd dig a confident Prince Charming over a confident Shrek anyday. By all means, continue to use what you got brotha its awesome you were born with a face thats appealing, the rest of us mere mortals must compensate by becoming more physically attractive in other areas <3 | ||
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