EPTYour most embarrassing story - Page 5
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Seldentar
United States888 Posts
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EternalSC
Sweden313 Posts
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Cifer
United Kingdom69 Posts
The girl screamed, thought I was dry humping her...the other girls which I knew were just laughing while the girl was in terror. I was so shocked at that point I just managed to lol and was out of breath to actually say sorry. Luckily I found my friend and told her about the situation before anyone did. Piece of advice guys... Its better to make fun of yourself than feeling ashamed while others do. I was a lot of similar situations since I'm quite clumsy by nature but its amazing how much face you can salvage by learning to laugh at yourself. | ||
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FJ
United Kingdom321 Posts
On August 13 2011 10:39 Seldentar wrote: I find most of them believable, but that last one with the Princess of the Emirate seemed a bit of a stretch especially considering the repetitiveness of you insulting all these super famous people without realizing who they were. You would've thought your sister would've told you that you would be hanging out with the Princess lol She was a Princess of one of the Emirates. There are 7 of them, and she is princess to a particularly unimportant one. Royalty isn't the same as England or something. There are 7 royal families! and she is not only a woman, but the youngest princess of the family, so she doesn't have a great deal of influence. My sister and I don't talk a great deal. I did know she had a princess friend, as they went to school together, but I don't pay attention. At the time she mentioned the girl by name, assuming I listened to her in the past and knew that was her royal friend. I say lots of embarrassing things to lots of people. Like I said, the only country where you can meet the rich and poor together. I have met lots of famous people. Michael Schumacher, lots of racers actually. The guy who plays Hurley in Lost, bumped into him in a mall once. Royalty, famous Jokies, and loads of influention Arab guys. You don't know who you're meeting. And it is hard to tell when they all wear the exactly same white robes. | ||
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Kukaracha
France1954 Posts
So I was 15, high school. One of the first big parties I attended, organized and hosted by this odd girl in my class. (Side note: I was in the litterature class, which was a bunch of rebels who wanted to pass in a class with a reputation of lazyness, weirdos and bookworms). I had a crush on this girl. (What I didn't is that she was a slut. She fancied me and I wasn't too sure if I really wanted to get with her, so one day she dragged me to her place and I didn't do anything and she just waited. But I kind of fell in love while talking to her, thinking she was a great person and all... the romantic kind. I left and then tried to get a date with her, but the opportunity was gone, she had "to visit an uncle" and was therefore "unavailable". This was the situation, me with a crush on this girl who was a slut who didn't want any sort of relationship) So I proceed to go to the party after a shitty day, thinking that I NEEDED to confess my feelings. I get there, get a really warm welcome (I'm a pretty cold and distant guy and it was a class with just a couple of boys so it was a surprise for the average bookworm there), drink a few beers, everything is fun and fine. The girl is there too, a bit quiet and shy. Booze gives me more confidence, so I just drag the girl to the kitchen, and tell her how I feel. Of course, she says that she's not ready, yadda yadda... Ok, fine. RE-JEC-TED. I can live with that. And there's plenty of vodka to drink. LOTS actually, like 1 bottle per person. But then I enter RAEG MODE. I slowly became batshit insane. I started drinking. Then drank more. Then went upstairs to go to the bathroom, and there was a girl randomly crying on the floor (yes we were young and there really was a lot of alcohol). I comfort her for some reason, even though I don't like her nor know her very well. I dash back downstairs, and people are playing a drinking game. I forget about the crying girl, I sit with them. They explain me how it works, but THE girl is there playing too. Fuck it, I'm pissed and I can't understand shit. So I just drink my glass and other people's glasses and leave while they stare at me. Then another girl gets sick and starts throwing up upstairs. We take care of her with a friend, but people are laughing and yelling downstairs, so I go downstairs and basically kill the party: "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING MORONS PEOPLE ARE SICK UPSTAIRS YOU FUCKING FUCKS" I rush back upstairs. {This part is blank. Can't remember what I did.} Fastforward an unknown period of time, and I want to leave. A stunning hot girl wants to leave (she's my girlfriend now by the way hehe) too, so I tell her I'll leave with her. Ok, a friend is coming and some weird girl too. While I'm outside, some random woman pulls over. I'm guessing she's the parent of someone and she came to pick that someone up. So I chat with her, saying a bunch of bullshit about the decaying youth and talking to myself, the that someone who she had to pick up appears and it's... THE girl. I litterally roll on the floor laughing as they leave. Now my friend is being really annoying, being friendly and saying bye to everyone. Fuck it, I grab my jacket and leave. The girl who's now my GF comes with me to make sure I don't do anything too stupid, and my friend and the other girl catch up with us a few minutes later. Now everyone is pretty worried about my behaviour and I'm scaring the shit out of the weird girl. Now this is where sanity thought that the party going on in my head was lame and just left. I'm walking with the beautiful girl, and I tell her that if a guy tries to harm her, I'll kill him. I turn around, and there are three or four dudes peacefully walking behind us. I shout that if they touch her I´"FUCKING KILL THEM". And then I snap. I turn around and CHARGE them, yelling "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!". Yes, you are right, there is no logical explanation. My friend comes back running and holds me back after I grabbed on of the guys while his friends intervene. My friend apologizes and we just leave, they just let us go as they see that I'm obviously pretty much insane at that moment. The next 20 minutes is just random laughter and crying in the middle of the street, shouting completely random stuff like "OH NO WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE" while rolling on the floor. Everyone was pretty shocked. Another highlight occurred when we passed a couple who was quietly kissing, who laughed at me. I started insulting and threatening them, but then I felt bad so I came back and BEGGED for them to forgive me, on the floor. Then everything gets blurry and I somehow managed to get home. I woke up with the worse headache ever, and hands covered in blood. Oh yeah, I was so angry I randomly punched the wall. But the next morning, it was pretty painful. I felt miserable. Oh, look, a wall of text. | ||
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Ixirawr
United States86 Posts
+1 to you making a blog. The most embarrassed I have ever been in my life was when I was in elementry school, and I said "your welcome" to my teacher after she asked me to do something... before she said "thank you." No one noticed, I don't think my teacher even cared, but I felt so stupid.  Now, on to better stories. When I was younger, I used to have this problem where I wouldn't poop. Like, I would go a week without doing it, and when I did a week's worth would come out all at once, in one giant turd. GIANT. Like, my ass would bleed. So, I am at school, its been like eight days since I last used the bathroom. I get the urge to go, and leave. I'm in there for like 20 minutes (I would sit down to go, then stand back up to keep myself from doing it because it hurt. Repeat this a dozen times until I eventually bite my lip and force this nerf football sized lump out of me). The teacher thinks I am skipping class so she sends some kid to see if I am in the bathroom. He walks in right as finally do it. There is no way this thing is flushing. It's too large. So I leave the stall and see this kid and he's like "Mrs. So-and-So thinks you're cutting... oh my god, that's fucking gross!" The way he was facing, he could see into the stall, and saw this mountain of feces in the toilet. Anyway, after class he tells like everyone about this giant turd of mine, and all the guys crowd into the bathroom. All that month I get laughed at. :/ Not sure if that was too gross, I actually have more embarassing stories regarding my bathroom habits if anyone wants to hear them. Haha. EDIT: Fuck whoever invented the camera phone. | ||
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Xplitcit
United States419 Posts
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Jomz
United Kingdom117 Posts
One day I'm having a shower before my first exam, and straight up pass out. 5 minutes later my whole family are in the bathroom like what the fuck are you doing sleeping in the shower with it turned on. My sisters laughing like crazy and me really not sure what the hell just happened. The first time I have ever blacked out. Then a few days later I wake up and go to take a whiz and as I'm doing the business I suddenly get this awful sick feeling in my stomach and feel extremely dizzy. I pass out AGAIN. My sister walks in the bathroom after hearing a loud thud(me falling). Opens the door and see's me laying on the ground in my boxers, hand around my penis, as I finish my business. I feel pretty cool Much Love x | ||
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supaplex
United States75 Posts
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Bartimaeus
United States67 Posts
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Justjealouse
United States36 Posts
On August 13 2011 11:07 supaplex wrote: fj i wouldnt want to hang out with you. just because i get tired of these fake stories too soon Heh dude u live in the United States, its pretty regular for events that arent boring to seem unbelievable to you. I did more cool shit in Minsk in the first 6 years of my life than I did in the past 10 years in America. | ||
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Colonial
United States81 Posts
On August 13 2011 05:19 FJ wrote: Here is another one for you guys. Cmon, we have 500 views, lets hear some stories. Or you can ask me about mine, or tell me what you think about them  So, I am in this club with some guy friends, we decided to have a bit of a guys night at a club. We are having a good time dancing and drinking. From across the floor I lock eyes with this Asian girl. She looks pretty and invites me over to her with her eyes. So I walk over, and begin the FJ magic haha. This girl seems really 'friendly' with me, there is a lot of touching and it is obvious what she wants from me....She is asking a lot of questions like 'Do you like me? Are you into people like me? She asks this because sometimes white people don't like the Filipino people here, and everyone I meet is surprised I like the culture, have Filipino friends, and speak taglaog (some what). My thoughts of this girl are that she is pretty, she isn't stunning or amazing, but not ugly or anything like that. So she invites me to her place, and I agree to go. We get to her apartment, she shuts the door and kisses me on the lips, but not a long one. Then she takes me to her bed. She is laying on top of me, and she is straight into it, she takes off her top, and then mine, then she whispers in my ear that she has no underwear on. And then she takes off her pants. There it is, staring me in the face........it's a trap! It all makes sense now... the weights on the floor, the large hands, the questions.....she was asking if I was a gay!!!! OMG! In my defense, if I can even make one, it was dark, I was drinking, and (if I can stereotype for a moment) Asians have small chests, and feminine features....does this make me gay? I hope not haha Dude Wtf....How many times have you been raped by dudes alrdy lol... | ||
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supaplex
United States75 Posts
On August 13 2011 11:14 Justjealouse wrote: Heh dude u live in the United States, its pretty regular for events that arent boring to seem unbelievable to you. I did more cool shit in Minsk in the first 6 years of my life than I did in the past 10 years in America. dont make me laugh. Please post some of your cool stories here. Then we talk. It better have Lukashenko in it because you know, the Emirate princess and cussing Bin Ladens bro is pretty common of a story | ||
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Gummy
United States2180 Posts
#2: I am 20. | ||
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meeyoop
United States131 Posts
I was riding my longboard across an empty parking lot, when this random guy sees me and says, "Whoa, longboard huh?" And I was like, "Yeah!" all excited and stuff, because my longboard was brand new and I was really happy about it. The guy was like, "Cool!" and as I was riding past him I...I don't even know what I did, but I ended up on my ass on the ground with my board rolling away from me at a high speed. :< | ||
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supaplex
United States75 Posts
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Hakker
United States1360 Posts
On August 13 2011 11:31 meeyoop wrote: I'm a pretty awkward human being in general, so I have a lot of little embarrassing stories...but I'll share the most recent one because it's one that I remember clearly. I was riding my longboard across an empty parking lot, when this random guy sees me and says, "Whoa, longboard huh?" And I was like, "Yeah!" all excited and stuff, because my longboard was brand new and I was really happy about it. The guy was like, "Cool!" and as I was riding past him I...I don't even know what I did, but I ended up on my ass on the ground with my board rolling away from me at a high speed. :< Haha dude i remember when I was like 10 years old my parents bought me a dirt bike, and I was riding it around with some other neighborhood kids etc. Anyways, the first day I got it everyone was like 'dude omg thats sick' etc. and when it was time to go home everyone watched me as I attempted to start it. Well, being the genius 10 year old I was, I forgot that you have to have it in neutral when you start it. So, much to my surprise, instead of riding off like a hero, I started it in 1st gear and the bike threw me off and went like 20 feet as I sat there in the dirt as everyone watched with pretty much no skin on my knees at all lol. | ||
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zz_
Sweden1022 Posts
On August 13 2011 11:22 Gummy wrote: #1: When I was 20 I was still a virgin. #2: I am 20. Not embarrasing unless you've been desperately trying to get laid for like the last 6 years. Then it'd be pretty of embarrassing, but only in the same way that failing at anything for a long period of time is pretty embarrassing. | ||
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FJ
United Kingdom321 Posts
On August 13 2011 11:13 Bartimaues wrote: FJ where did you get your name? Is it your actual first name as in some of your stories or is is a pseudonym? Also did you get it from the site Funnyjunk? Just curious. It is not my real name, just more of a nick name. I replaced my real name with FJ in the stories. My friends call me FJ, but not my dad. | ||
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FJ
United Kingdom321 Posts
On August 13 2011 11:07 supaplex wrote: fj i wouldnt want to hang out with you. just because i get tired of these fake stories too soon  I kinda feel like I am missing out on a great friendship. If you came here to hang out, you would be living amazing stories. That other guy was right though, you live in the USA, a western, established Country. This is the middle east, a very very different place indeed. | ||
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