Thanks for the Brotip *brofist* I don't intend on it happening again though haha
On August 13 2011 07:25 Inertiaddict wrote: Oh man, this thread is pretty great. LMAO FJ, thanks for sharing.
You think? I have loads more. We should have more sharing, I feel like a story teller. Are people enjoying my embarrassment??? haha
The thing about Dubai is, you are in daily contact with the richest and poorest people in the world. I can't think of a place where seeing a Bently driving through the slums is a common thing.
If you go through my phone you have numbers of people who sleep on a mattress, honestly, covered in insects, and they can barely afford to feed themselves rice everyday. Also, I have multi millionaires in my phone. Literally, I know a guy who owns, not one, but 3 diamond mines. He is LOADED
So, one day I was at the race track, just enjoying the day, watching the open day for racers, and enthusiasts to grab their cars and drive around.
An Arab guy pulls in the pit stop and has his car looked at. He gets out and has a word with me. 'Why are you here? What are you doing in Dubai? How do you like it?' etc, the normal questions.
Then it comes up that at the time I was looking to buy a car. We talk about various makes and models. Then (Now I don't remember the specific model) he asks if I like this pretty low, obscure make of car.
I start slagging it off pretty bad. I say it is a little girls car and I would never own one, I hate them. He seems a bit hurt by this, and he says that he drives one. I felt pretty embarrassed about it. I brought the conversation to and end, made and excuse and left.
I walk away and someone asks, 'Hey, do you know who that is? What was he talking about?' I said, 'It was embarrassing. He asked if I like X make of car, and I slagged it off, and he owns one' The guy speaking to me gasps sooo hard. He says, that was Mr something, he is part of the original families, he doesn't just own one of those cars, he owns the fricking company!'
OH SHIT!
I just slagged of a car to the owners face hahaha.
I was on a cruise with my whole family and I entered into a dance contest for the Hell of it.
It came down to me and some other guy. We had to dance like Elvis. I started pulling out the moves from Forrest Gump. The funnier part is that I took it one step further and started dancing near this column in the room... It got slightly risque.
Now, I had no idea but there's a big glass wall that a major staircase to the ship is on the opposite side of... My family happened to be walking down it as I'm dancing to try to win this thing. When my turn was over I see them all pointing and laughing at me. My parents, Aunts, Uncles, little cousins and of course, my Grandmother. They then also had to go and buy the cruise ship DVD, pretty much because they knew I'd be on it.
On August 13 2011 08:09 Inertiaddict wrote: I was on a cruise with my whole family and I entered into a dance contest for the Hell of it.
It came down to me and some other guy. We had to dance like Elvis. I started pulling out the moves from Forrest Gump. The funnier part is that I took it one step further and started dancing near this column in the room... It got slightly risque.
Now, I had no idea but there's a big glass wall that a major staircase to the ship is on the opposite side of... My family happened to be walking down it as I'm dancing to try to win this thing. When my turn was over I see them all pointing and laughing at me. My parents, Aunts, Uncles, little cousins and of course, my Grandmother. They then also had to go and buy the cruise ship DVD, pretty much because they knew I'd be on it.
hahaha, that tickled me haha. I can only imagine someone getting into it doing an Elvis dance haha
I have a couple embarrassing stories about my dancing. If the readers want to hear them?
So, it seems to have turned into FJ story time. I would like to have some sharing though
You can ask about the stories if you want. I have tons. What elements do you like?
On August 13 2011 08:31 Seldentar wrote: hahahahaha FJ I love this thread... hilarious stories man! :D Sounds like you have a pretty..... adventurous life
Yeah man, I do loads here! These are just the super embarrassing ones, but they don't always turn out that way, some are super funny, others are sad, some are just amazing stories. If only I could tell them ALL.
On August 13 2011 08:32 Perfecticus wrote: After reading all of FJs stories so far i want to move to Dubai when i am in the 20s :p
Love you FJ<3
Love back haha
Yeah come, I'll show you around lol. Take you off the main roads per say, and show you the real Dubai, not the tourist beaches and hotels. None of this stuff happens to a tourist, they wouldn't even know it goes on.
So, another one about saying bad things to the wrong person.
I was out with my parents, in a restaurant, and they had a few of their friends with them, and they brought their friends. Now, my parents are pretty rich, but poor when compared to the people at this table since most where work related friends.
So I am 20, so I am not a child, so I can engage in the conversations they have, but they aren't to my taste, but I can take part. One of the guys at the table is a pretty rich man indeed. I have met him at a few functions before and he has discussed going to a club with me.
Well, he said he owns a Lamborghini, and I was super impressed and asked for a ride. He said sure, but he has had a couple to drink, so a friend is coming in a taxi, and he will drive us around Dubai for a little while, and let me have a spin. I was excited to have a go!
So later on, the guy turns up, just a normal arab man, and we get in the car.
The limit is 100 kilometers an hour, this guy was doing at least 180. So I say 'hey, you're doing well over the limit, we will get into some shit'
He responds 'No way man, I wont get a ticket, I know guys'
So, this sets me off a little because I've had a couple drinks, just enough to take the edge off. Plus, I'm a dick head. So I give him this big rant about how corrupt the justice system is. Something like 'What a bag of wank this place is, the laws are fucking shit, and who ever makes them is a massive idiot. It is bullshit that you can do nearly twice the limit and just get away with it. What sort of shit hole, 3rd world country do we live in?'
The owner of the car is suddenly a bit quiet. I think ' Shit, he wasn't a 'local' was he?' As locals can be a bit uptight about their country.
The guy turns to me, and blasts me. Turns out, he was the fucking chief of police!!!! HE is the one who made these rules!
Oh man, after he gives me a good telling off about being an ignorant westerner in HIS country, he pulls over and kicks me out the car.
Soooo embarrassing having to call my parents and ask them to pick me up because the chief of police for the country just kicked me out the car.
On August 13 2011 08:46 FJ wrote: So, another one about saying bad things to the wrong person.
I was out with my parents, in a restaurant, and they had a few of their friends with them, and they brought their friends. Now, my parents are pretty rich, but poor when compared to the people at this table since most where work related friends.
So I am 20, so I am not a child, so I can engage in the conversations they have, but they aren't to my taste, but I can take part. One of the guys at the table is a pretty rich man indeed. I have met him at a few functions before and he has discussed going to a club with me.
Well, he said he owns a Lamborghini, and I was super impressed and asked for a ride. He said sure, but he has had a couple to drink, so a friend is coming in a taxi, and he will drive us around Dubai for a little while, and let me have a spin. I was excited to have a go!
So later on, the guy turns up, just a normal arab man, and we get in the car.
The limit is 100 kilometers an hour, this guy was doing at least 180. So I say 'hey, you're doing well over the limit, we will get into some shit'
He responds 'No way man, I wont get a ticket, I know guys'
So, this sets me off a little because I've had a couple drinks, just enough to take the edge off. Plus, I'm a dick head. So I give him this big rant about how corrupt the justice system is. Something like 'What a bag of wank this place is, the laws are fucking shit, and who ever makes them is a massive idiot. It is bullshit that you can do nearly twice the limit and just get away with it. What sort of shit hole, 3rd world country do we live in?'
The owner of the car is suddenly a bit quiet. I think ' Shit, he wasn't a 'local' was he?' As locals can be a bit uptight about their country.
The guy turns to me, and blasts me. Turns out, he was the fucking chief of police!!!! HE is the one who made these rules!
Oh man, after he gives me a good telling off about being an ignorant westerner in HIS country, he pulls over and kicks me out the car.
Soooo embarrassing having to call my parents and ask them to pick me up because the chief of police for the country just kicked me out the car.
LOL that's about as bad as it gets... talk about saying things to the wrong person hahaha. Was he one of the work related friends of your family?
The guy who owned the sweet ride is a friend of my mums boss. My mum works directly for a guy who is a MASSIVE MILLIONAIRE, who knows how many businesses he has. The guy I have met a couple times before, and he is a young lad, well, 28ish, but in the business world, young. So we get on a little, and as I said, he has invited me to hang out in a club, but I have never taken him up. We aren't exactly friends, but we get along. I go on the business related things with my parents because I get free fancy nights out.
So I didn't ruin any business for my parents, but I have a story where I did. I will make a new post for it now.
So, my farther works for a super rich family here in Dubai (All businesses are ultimately owned by a local arab, and there are a few big families, Garagash, Futtaim etc)
My dad is in a position to give a fair amount of business to other people. So companies often invite him, and ultimately me, and fancy days out. Trying to sweeten him up, meet people, and get business. So I get golf days and fancy meals sometimes, if I don't mind talking, well listening, to business all night.
One day, I got invited on a yacht. WOW, what a fancy yacht it was. It had 2 floors, a pool! A freaking pool in a yacht! It was the company my dad works for, the plan was to bring a lot of 'high ups' in the company, and then get them to mingle with other companies. So there was many personal and business friends of my dads on this yacht.
Anyway, I am not a millionaire and don't do business, I was way out of place. As you know, I speak tagalog (some what) and get on great with Filipinos who are the labor. So there were Filipinos walking around in suits serving drinks and things. I just hung out with them, getting slowly drunk and eating food I could never pronounce or afford.
I did a few embarrassing things like turn down champagne and ask for a vodka coke, used the wrong fork etc. You know, things these rich douche bags would think bad.
Well, I was having so much fun with the guys that I got pretty fucking drunk. I went around taking 'gangsta' photos of myself all around the yacht, looking like a douche (Something I like to do)
I walk into the main room, announce the music is shit and you 'up-your-arse toffees' need to loosen up, then play 'Move bitch, get out the way' form my iphone. I start dancing in the middle of the room, and grab the hand of one of the younger ladies there, and try to dance with her.
I then continue to dance on my own, and take off my shirt, which leads to no pants. So I am there, now dancing to some 50 cent, in my underwear. My dad comes over, fuming, grabs me and marches me out of the room, and gives me a shouting at.
Filled with dangerous confidence from the alcohol, I boldly announce I am 20, and don't need to take his shit. I march back into the room, and ask the crowed to 'look at me, as I do something amazing' I climb to the top of the boat and jump off into the sea.
I turn around in the water, in my head I expected cheers of laughter, and to be the center of this amusing attention. Instead, I just get stared at, like the little prick I was, who has embarrassed everyone, and ruined their good time. I had 30 or so sets of eyes staring at me with disappointment.
Only then I realized what a dick head I was being. I swam back, wrapped myself in a towel, and sat downstairs on my own for the rest of the boat trip. Super embarrassed about the whole thing.
Suffice to say, I was not invited to that sort of thing again hahaha
On August 13 2011 09:38 Retgery wrote: FJ have all your antics made your parents business easier, or down right ruin their reputation?
I don't know about make it easier, but sometimes specific people in the companies have asked me back. Other times I embarrass myself, or other people.
So one day, I was with my dad, we was going out to the mall that day, for a bit of manly shopping. But he had to stop into work for a few hours in the morning. No problem, I will just wander around and get the menial staff to for fill my stupid requests I do for entertainment.
After getting a guy to keep return to the fridge about 6 or 7 times because my coke wasn't cold enough. My dad called and said come to the office, we will leave soon.
So I head into the office and there is a man with him, an arab man. My dad says 'FJ, this is MR something something Bin Laden, he has just make a very big deal with us'
Now, I pick up on the name Bin Laden, and then say something stupid, like the douche I am....
I said....right to his face....'Bin Laden eh? Ha, do you have any plans to blow something up? Are you in contact with Osama? how's about you tell me where he is, and we will split the reward money'
The guy just stares at me. My dad facepalms and tuts. He is embarrassed to say the least.
The arab man says back to me 'I don't know who you think you are, but as it happens, Yes I am related to Osama, he is my brother. And just because I am arab, and we share a father DOESN'T make me a terrorist!!!'
WHAT WERE THE CHANCES!!!!
I stared for a moment, and tried to think about something to say. Nothing came to mind. I mean, what can I say to that?
I just turned around, and walked out of the room.....
EPT
