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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
On August 21 2011 22:52 FJ wrote: I must have walked in after you, I saw what can only be described as a mountain of shit in a McDonald's toilet. If you felt like you needed a gas mask and saw a teenager running like hell outside, that's the one. | ||
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ChibiSage
36 Posts
I went in for a very minor when i was in middle school and they had to put me under. They left me in the nurses station to wake up. Unfortunately parts of my anatomy woke up first XD So when I finally wake up I find myself surrounded by females with possibly the most obvious morning wood ever. | ||
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R3m3mb3rM3
Germany954 Posts
I pulled up to the house around 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie "yo holmes, smell ya later!" I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to settle my throne as the prince of Bel-Air. User was warned for this post | ||
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epikAnglory
United States1120 Posts
On August 22 2011 06:37 R3m3mb3rM3 wrote: Today I was in NYC, I take summer classes at an art school in New York, and I saw a man following an old asian woman and her little asian grand daughter I think it was. He followed them for 4 blocks before making his move, I only saw all of this because they were all infront of me walking down E22nd street at the time I was walking down it. Anyways, the man kept getting closer and closer to them until finally he hit the woman with a crowbar and grabbed the girl. I immediately ran up to him as fast as I could and whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I can say that this cab was rare, but I thought "nah, forget it, yo holmes to Bel-Air!" I pulled up to the house around 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie "yo holmes, smell ya later!" I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to settle my throne as the prince of Bel-Air. What the fuck?.... Took me a few rereads to see if you were trolling, guess that is embarrassing enough for me to catch on so slowly... | ||
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FJ
United Kingdom321 Posts
On August 22 2011 06:39 epikAnglory wrote: What the fuck?.... Took me a few rereads to see if you were trolling, guess that is embarrassing enough for me to catch on so slowly... You don't know the lyrics to Fresh Prince?....get out hahaha  | ||
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LlOoKkIi
Korea (South)473 Posts
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FJ
United Kingdom321 Posts
Well, I could write a book about living here haha. In short, Locals actually like White westerners. Do we get fucked? by them? yes. It is a bit of a mix. Foreigners are treated like absolute shit. Worse than shit....but only the labor class (Filipino and Indian) ie wallas. Whites are a good thing. Because I am white, I am special here. I hang out with the Filipino labor class, who are extremely poor and I am soooo special for that. I have honestly had people take photos of me, like some sort of celebrity, because I am white. I actually wrote that story here The arabs, generally like having the whites here, and thing we are a good thing. But, sadly, if you're a race of essentially camel famers living in the sand, and then suddenly find your self running a county, rules and regulations will end up being really bad. You won't get F by arab locals maliciously, but you certainly will get F in the A, really hard by the rules, which are set in place by the locals. I am a good person, I follow rules and stay out of trouble, mostly. But I have been arrested twice, frog marched by official figures countless times, and paid close to $4000 in fines I shouldn't have to pay. The rules here are guilty until proven innocent. Sadly. Anyone who comes here goes through stages. At first you will love it, the sun, the malls, the beaches, the awe of things. You'll be driving to work in the sun, with your shades, and having a good time. Stage 1 Stage 2: You will have you first bad experience of being F in the A by the rules. All the small regulations and illogical hoops you must jump through will take their toll on you. You will, and this is fact, be fined for something you're innocent off. You will hate it here, and a lot of people go home. Stage 3: You get into the flow of Dubai. You learn to expect everything to fall apart. I have a rule here, nothing takes less than 3 attempts, and you will pay more than you expect. You get into the flow, enjoy the sun, and put up with the little fines and jumping through hoops. Things are good then. I have seen so many people come here, and they always go though those stages. Some people end up as a yo-yo. They hit stage 2, can't take it, move back home. Regret it, and come back. Hit stage 2 and move home. Repeat... Can you bee successful? Yes. Honestly, I can't write everything in this reply, here is a short brief. You can have a good life here, but it is very different, you WILL get arrested, or in some shit at some point, and you will always have to put up with the fines, and being on the wrong side of a rule you apparently broke. But the sun always shines, the beach is nice, the malls are amazing, the culture is rich and there is always something to do. Lots of people like it here, lots move back. But without trying it, you will never know... | ||
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LlOoKkIi
Korea (South)473 Posts
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FJ
United Kingdom321 Posts
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venomium
Netherlands245 Posts
On August 22 2011 06:21 ChibiSage wrote: Looks like mines pretty tame XD I went in for a very minor when i was in middle school and they had to put me under. They left me in the nurses station to wake up. Unfortunately parts of my anatomy woke up first XD So when I finally wake up I find myself surrounded by females with possibly the most obvious morning wood ever. ChibiSausage? ...Couldn't resist the urge to post that; however, isn't that a really good opening for a really bad pornfilm? | ||
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jeeeeohn
United States1343 Posts
I went up to the first pretty girl I saw and introduced myself like: "Hi, I'm a virgin!" As if to say, "Just so we don't get off on the wrong foot, this is where I'm coming from. This is the problem I need to solve." lol. She was nice about it and laughed it off, but obviously took off. | ||
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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
 In Spain (coincidentally the same trip I ended up shitting in a urinal at the airport), I remember this one restaurant where instead of displaying "Male" and "Female" or some variation thereof, they just have these two little pictures - a circle on top of a triangle. For the men's room the triangle points down (I guess that's kinda like shoulders) and for the women's room it points up (which would make that a dress) Problem is, I don't know this at the time, and these two doors are the only ones under a sign that clearly says this is where the restrooms are. So I figure it's a 50-50 chance, I go in the ladies' room. No urinals ofc, but that's fine, I figure, the airport bathroom didn't have any stalls, maybe this is where they moved them. And then I walk out and see two women at the sink, I'm ready to go back into my stall to shit brix, and subconsciously mutter something which just makes every pair of eyes in the bathroom look at me. So I just say, "I'm going to leave now" trying to play it off cool, walk with a little bit of swag to the door like I arranged that to happen. And then I shit brix. | ||
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FJ
United Kingdom321 Posts
On August 22 2011 22:01 [UoN]Sentinel wrote: Another toilet story. Not as bad as my last one though In Spain (coincidentally the same trip I ended up shitting in a urinal at the airport), I remember this one restaurant where instead of displaying "Male" and "Female" or some variation thereof, they just have these two little pictures - a circle on top of a triangle. For the men's room the triangle points down (I guess that's kinda like shoulders) and for the women's room it points up (which would make that a dress) Problem is, I don't know this at the time, and these two doors are the only ones under a sign that clearly says this is where the restrooms are. So I figure it's a 50-50 chance, I go in the ladies' room. No urinals ofc, but that's fine, I figure, the airport bathroom didn't have any stalls, maybe this is where they moved them. And then I walk out and see two women at the sink, I'm ready to go back into my stall to shit brix, and subconsciously mutter something which just makes every pair of eyes in the bathroom look at me. So I just say, "I'm going to leave now" trying to play it off cool, walk with a little bit of swag to the door like I arranged that to happen. And then I shit brix. Every time you use a public bathroom, does something bad happen? haha I once went to a new Mall in Dubai, it has just opened that day. But building work was still going on, just the finishing touches. I went the public bathroom and there was no signs on the door. I took a 50-50 with it, and walked into the bathroom....urinal...jackpot. I was taking a piss on one of them and a woman walks in, then screams at me. 'Get out, get out!, this is the ladies' Still having a piss I tried to explain how there are urinals here, and SHE is at fault. She had none of it, and shouted then walked out. I went to wash my hands and a security guard walks in behind the woman and then tells me I am in the wrong bathroom and escorts me to the mall security room for a telling off and forced me into an apology for being in the wrong bathroom. WTF?? | ||
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ChinaLifeXXL
United States365 Posts
On August 23 2011 04:49 FJ wrote: Every time you use a public bathroom, does something bad happen? haha I once went to a new Mall in Dubai, it has just opened that day. But building work was still going on, just the finishing touches. I went the public bathroom and there was no signs on the door. I took a 50-50 with it, and walked into the bathroom....urinal...jackpot. I was taking a piss on one of them and a woman walks in, then screams at me. 'Get out, get out!, this is the ladies' Still having a piss I tried to explain how there are urinals here, and SHE is at fault. She had none of it, and shouted then walked out. I went to wash my hands and a security guard walks in behind the woman and then tells me I am in the wrong bathroom and escorts me to the mall security room for a telling off and forced me into an apology for being in the wrong bathroom. WTF?? How dare you use the mens restroom infront of a confused woman! Apologise immediately. lol was the woman Idra's mom? | ||
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slothpants
Canada9 Posts
On August 23 2011 04:49 FJ wrote: Every time you use a public bathroom, does something bad happen? haha I once went to a new Mall in Dubai, it has just opened that day. But building work was still going on, just the finishing touches. I went the public bathroom and there was no signs on the door. I took a 50-50 with it, and walked into the bathroom....urinal...jackpot. I was taking a piss on one of them and a woman walks in, then screams at me. 'Get out, get out!, this is the ladies' Still having a piss I tried to explain how there are urinals here, and SHE is at fault. She had none of it, and shouted then walked out. I went to wash my hands and a security guard walks in behind the woman and then tells me I am in the wrong bathroom and escorts me to the mall security room for a telling off and forced me into an apology for being in the wrong bathroom. WTF?? People are arrested for holding hands or kissing in public. You already told a story where you might have been arrested for being in the bedroom with a woman who wasn't your wife. A British couple on holiday were arrested and jailed last year when one kissed the other on the cheek in a restaurant. Yet somehow you had to apologize to the lady who watched you urinate? Kissing is jail time. Watching you pee is fine. Interesting. | ||
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FJ
United Kingdom321 Posts
Strictly speaking, you have to cover up in the malls, there are signs all over the place, but you wont get told off for not covering up, unless a local takes offense to you. I've held hands and kissed in public, and been with girls who are not wearing a great deal. The police just give us a look, or ask the girl to dress respectively. If how ever an Arab local woman told us off and reported us, they shit would hit the fan. So kissing isn't strictly jail time, it just depends on where you do it, and who sees you. On this time, it was an Indian woman. The arabs don't like them too much, so they don't care all that much. It was also an Indian security guard, who doesn't take offense to such things. | ||
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Nottoo
38 Posts
Backstory. So was depressed for years and didn't get out much. Found it real tough to be around people in that condition, hard to speak with them etc. Don't get me started on how it was with a girl that was halfway good looking. So didn't have mega social or sexual experience. But after coming out of depression at the age of 21 (started when I was 14 due to bullying and feeling life was pointless n shizzle) I kinda got a new lease on life and decided to get shit done. Real face-your-fears and get over them kinda attitude, get back into the social scene, get confidence, be happy. Exercised lots, dieted, got my body back by losing about 50 pounds in a couple months and looked good again. Main story: Decided I had to lose my V card or else i'd be hopeless relationship wise when it wen't down that road (don't wanna be 21 and fumbling around in the sack). Checked up an escort service round january, phoned the chick, went to meet her in her apartment. She's good looking. Things going fine, she goes down on me, it comes to full on sex and I lose my hard on right at penetration. Get her to go down on me, hard again, same happens again. Waste the rest of the time going down on her/her on me, leave disappointed and her with a bit of a "meh" look on her face. Then figured hey, 100 euro wasted but what harm, did it again in june cos I figure you gotta keep trying right? Man up etc! Wrong. Good looking again, felt pretty turned on, lost it at penetration. Tried a few times with her, kept happening. Funniest thing about that was, when I left she seemed more unhappy than me. So turns out i've still got social + "performance" anxiety, even though i've got the willpower to face my fears I still choke horribly. Don't even have the excuse of being gay, that stuff turns me off. Hetero-only works for me just. Irony was I was worried initially I might finish too fast, rather than not at all. Hah. | ||
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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
On August 23 2011 08:30 Nottoo wrote: Ehm. In terms of entertainment value my embarassing story is more pathetic than funny but maybe im wrong! Backstory. So was depressed for years and didn't get out much. Found it real tough to be around people in that condition, hard to speak with them etc. Don't get me started on how it was with a girl that was halfway good looking. So didn't have mega social or sexual experience. But after coming out of depression at the age of 21 (started when I was 14 due to bullying and feeling life was pointless n shizzle) I kinda got a new lease on life and decided to get shit done. Real face-your-fears and get over them kinda attitude, get back into the social scene, get confidence, be happy. Exercised lots, dieted, got my body back by losing about 50 pounds in a couple months and looked good again. Main story: Decided I had to lose my V card or else i'd be hopeless relationship wise when it wen't down that road (don't wanna be 21 and fumbling around in the sack). Checked up an escort service round january, phoned the chick, went to meet her in her apartment. She's good looking. Things going fine, she goes down on me, it comes to full on sex and I lose my hard on right at penetration. Get her to go down on me, hard again, same happens again. Waste the rest of the time going down on her/her on me, leave disappointed and her with a bit of a "meh" look on her face. Then figured hey, 100 euro wasted but what harm, did it again in june cos I figure you gotta keep trying right? Man up etc! Wrong. Good looking again, felt pretty turned on, lost it at penetration. Tried a few times with her, kept happening. Funniest thing about that was, when I left she seemed more unhappy than me. So turns out i've still got social + "performance" anxiety, even though i've got the willpower to face my fears I still choke horribly. Don't even have the excuse of being gay, that stuff turns me off. Hetero-only works for me just. Irony was I was worried initially I might finish too fast, rather than not at all. Hah. It is kinda embarassing, given that if you tried that in a relationship you would be destroyed. But hey, I got a laugh out of it, so it's all good. | ||
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Seldentar
United States888 Posts
I just got back yesterday from a 7 day cruise on the Carnival Conquest that went through Jamaica, Grand Cayman Islands, and Cozumel, Mexico. On the last day they were playing "I am Number Four" on a huge screen on the top deck at around 10:30 at night. There are two jacuzzis behind a small pool surrounded by tons of people sitting/laying in tanning chairs and rocking chairs. Keep in mind I'm 18 years old, and I'm with my Mom, Dad, and brother who are all sitting around watching the movie with me. Anyway, I see one of the jacuzzis is empty and I decide to go in with my 15 year old brother. When we get in, it starts making obnoxious, really loud fart noises whenever water bubbles up over the edge and into the drain. More annoying than embarassing really... On top of that my mother decides to bring the camera over and she starts taking pictures of me and my brother in the jacuzzi from every possible angle outside the glass. Then she climbs up the steps to get right next to the jacuzzi and takes a bunch more pics. After she leaves we stay in for another half hour just relaxing and watching the movie. We get out and lay down for a while before I get the brilliant idea to go back in. It's getting fairly near 11:30 PM at this point. As I am laying there my parents walk by to tell me they're going to get a bite to eat. Now, being the only person in my jacuzzi, I look over to the other jacuzzi and spot a hot girl. Instantly I get a massive boner. Thanks to the constant stimulation of the jets I can't do anything to get rid of it. Of course a few minutes later a staff member walks up the steps and informs me he needs to close the jacuzzi. I'm frantic on the inside and I delay as long as possible by staying in and pretending I didn't hear him. He walks over to the other jacuzzi to give the girls the same news. He walks back and again tells me he is closing the jacuzzi. I feign calmness and go "Oh, you need me to get out?" and he just blinks, turns around, and proceeds to work on closing the jacuzzi. I get out and walk down the stairs as nonchalantly as possible with my dick clearly bursting out of my bathing suit, slightly hunched over to "hide" it as well as I can. Luckily my seat was very nearby and I slowly walked over and covered up with my towel. Fortunately my parents were still out getting their food and my brother had gone off to find them... I really dodged a bullet there LOL I imagine a lot of people noticed, and I got some looks but nobody ever said anything about it. The guy who closed the jacuzzis walked by me at one point afterwards and gave me a funny look xD Here's a picture of the deck so you can picture the situation more clearly: http://cruiseadvice.org/images/stories/cruise/carnival_cruises/carnival_conquest/outdoor/CCL_CQ_conq052.jpg I was in the jacuzzi on the left and I was laying in the tanning chair at the top of the column of chairs just to the left of the jacuzzi. You can't see the screen in that picture because the camera is near the place the screen would be and facing the same direction as the screen. | ||
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Retgery
Canada1229 Posts
So it's the end of the school day, pretty much everyone has left with only a handful of students and teachers left. I decided to take an innocent poop before I walk home. I'm sitting in the stall waiting to drop a load, when a couple comes bursting into the bathroom, making out, taking off each others clothes, and saying things not appropriate for TL. I slam my mouth shut, pick my feet up to my chest and wait for them to do the dirty deed. I here the girl ask the guy if he has a condom, and the guy spend the next little while trying to convince her that he doesn't need one. Thank fully she wasn't backing down and she tells him to go check the condom machine, and all I can say is THANK GOD it was empty or else what happened next would be really embarrassing. The couple redresses themselves and leaves the bathroom, I wait another minute before I pull up my pants, and leave (without finishing my poop). I wash my hands, and open the door to see the couple staring wide-eyed at me, amongst a group of about 12 people, all glaring at me. I see a friend of mine in the back of the group looking at me and with the biggest grin I've ever seen, trying his absolute hardest to burst out in laughter. I pause for an endless moment with the group of eyes burning holes in me, to consider my options. In the end I just close the door, and go back to my stall to finish poop and wait for them to leave. | ||
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