EPTThat same day my mom takes me and my brother home (he was there too. He doesn't play sc though.) and I go straight up to take a shit and a shower. So I go up to take a dump and since I was so exhausted from the day of running etc, as I'm straining to get this turd out my vision blurs and I pass out. Now, the bathroom is close to my brothers room and I wake up to him sorta touching my shoulder, with my pants down and a bit of a fecal mess. He says he heard me make the strangest noise and then a loud *THUMP*. Goddamn that was a weird day.
Your most embarrassing story - Page 2
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ChinaLifeXXL
United States365 Posts
That same day my mom takes me and my brother home (he was there too. He doesn't play sc though.) and I go straight up to take a shit and a shower. So I go up to take a dump and since I was so exhausted from the day of running etc, as I'm straining to get this turd out my vision blurs and I pass out. Now, the bathroom is close to my brothers room and I wake up to him sorta touching my shoulder, with my pants down and a bit of a fecal mess. He says he heard me make the strangest noise and then a loud *THUMP*. Goddamn that was a weird day. | ||
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FJ
United Kingdom321 Posts
On August 13 2011 05:32 rezzan wrote: haha oh man, if u look through your stories every single one includes a poor filipina girl, you are into poor ppl ?  just kinda intersting.Haha, well I do have a thing for Asian girls. And there are TONS of Filipino girls and boys in Dubai. The sad truth though, they are all poor. They come here for work, a lot lead horrible lives, and they earn nothing. But they make the most of it. So I like their life style, and all my friends, are poor compared to me. Even though I earn less than minimum wage by English or American standards, I am rich in comparison to the Filipinos here. But, we make do and have a great time. So I spend my weekends getting up to all sorts of antics haha. Sometimes, going to a girls house, sitting on a dirty floor and eating rice with my friends is a lot better than spending a lot of money going out. I strongly believe it is who you're with, not what you're doing. | ||
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FJ
United Kingdom321 Posts
On August 13 2011 05:38 ChinaLifeXXL wrote: When I was 15 I did judo, so to increase my stamina coach would take us (other students) to this track to run and sprint sorta thing. Anyways, I was running around the track and start feeling pretty weird in my lower stomach and as I'm running I straight up take a dump in my pants and having just shit myself I finish the circuit and THEN go to the bathroom to see the damage. It was a relatively solid ball, not watery at all so I take off my underwear and throw them away, then get some TP and straight pick up the rabbit turd out of the legs of my sweatpants (they are elastic at the ankle so the turd was resting there.) then I go back out and finish the exercises. Everybody thought I just went in there to throw up. That same day my mom takes me and my brother home (he was there too. He doesn't play sc though.) and I go straight up to take a shit and a shower. So I go up to take a dump and since I was so exhausted from the day of running etc, as I'm straining to get this turd out my vision blurs and I pass out. Now, the bathroom is close to my brothers room and I wake up to him sorta touching my shoulder, with my pants down and a bit of a fecal mess. He says he heard me make the strangest noise and then a loud *THUMP*. Goddamn that was a weird day. hahahahahaha! You worked out so hard you shit? hahahaha oh man. That's bad. | ||
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Looky
United States1608 Posts
On August 13 2011 04:22 FJ wrote: Here is another embarrassing story. I was in a club, and I got to dancing with this beautiful girl. Things were going well, and she asked me back to her place  So I get to her villa and she walks me through to her room....... I walk in the room, and it is a small fridge, a wardrobe and 4 bunk beds. There are a few people asleep and 2 girls playing cards on the floor. This girl kisses me, and then suggests we go to her bed, which is the top bunk, with a girl sleeping below her. So, I have had a few, and think, screw it, lets do this even with the people in the room. So I climb over this girl, close the curtain around her bed, and don't hold back at all. Halfway through the act, another room mate walks in the room and opens the curtain to reveal us both....... It was really embarrassing..... I just decided to leave. I put on some boxer shorts, and grab my clothes and leave the room, only to walk into a lounge area with about 20 people who all just stare at me. I had to walk around all these staring eyes, in my boxers and get to the front door. I couldn't open it, I had to ask for help, and reluctantly a girl comes over and helps me out with the door. Pretty shocking really. first of all the roomate is retarded haha | ||
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Starcraftplaylist
194 Posts
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FJ
United Kingdom321 Posts
She was of similar age to my parents, and had 3 children who all work and live in Dubai also. Now, I met her kids a couple times and we have had a couple chats on FB. She has a pretty daughter, and she has sent a few flirty messages to me. They planned a big fun day in a mall, and they asked if I could like to go with them and their friends one particular friday. So I went and met her kids and their friends in a mall and we hanged out. It was a good time, and in the evening, it ended up just me and the pretty daughter who was my age. I asked if she wanted to come to my house since no one is home, and we can hang out for a while. I genuinely had no intention to do this, it was an honest invite to the house to hang out for a couple hours before she goes home. But we ended up having sex. I felt bad when she was flirting with me, since her mother is my maid, but I am a 20 year old male human, and when a pretty girl is asking, how can I refuse?  So, why I always get caught I don't know. But the maid decided to come and clean the house anyway, I don't know why, it was her day off but she came to the house. She knew I was out, my parents also, so she got to my room to clean, and since she expected no one home, she just walks in to catch me and her daughter in my bed...... It was the worst thing ever! I could have died. The maid quit very soon after that, and never told my parents why she decided to leave. | ||
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ChinaLifeXXL
United States365 Posts
I quickly turn everything off, take the dvd out and run away as quick and silently as possible. I think he pretended to have slept through what was happening for my sake. But I know he couldn't have... | ||
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josemb40
Peru611 Posts
here's my story, not so embarrasing but oh well so i was applying for this awesome job, and i had, and the person who was supossed to interview me was named "Elky". Now, at this point i wasnt really into poker and didn't know the gamer, so i had no idea wether the person was a man or woman. I go to the interview and assume it was a woman, so i start asking arround where i could find miss Elky, and a guys tells me how lucky i was, since she was a cutie, and i should go to the next office and ask for her. I go to this office and there's about 3 people working there, 2 cute girls and a man. I ask for miss Elky and this one of the girls stands up and asks me for my name and who sent me there. I tell her my name and tell her i have a job interview and that some other dude told me to go there and ask for miss elky, who was supossed to be really cute (wink her) and if she was elky. This big black dude stands up and tells me with a deep voice "I'm not sure i'm that cute, but i'm Elky" I was embarrased during the whole interview, and didnt get the job  | ||
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sTsCompleted
United States380 Posts
On August 13 2011 05:30 AirbladeOrange wrote: When I was a very young lad I was at a karate studio while my brother took a class. There were chairs for parents and people to watch the class and my mom was sitting in one of them. I was sitting with my mom but I got up to go to wander around a bit and eventually headed back to find my mom because I wanted to sit on her lap. I don't know exactly how this happened but I must not have been looking where I was going to sit and I ended up climbing up the lap of some guy I didn't know only to realize that it wasn't my mom. To this day I still remember this event and how embarrassed I was at such a young age. Thinking about it now it was before I had glasses and I must have had horrible eyesight. But holy shit that is still a crazy mistake to make. same thing happened to me, except that day (i was like 6, lol) and I was crying at a bakery for some unknown reason, I thought my mom was wearing a white shirt and turned around and like bearhugged the person in the white shirt behind me. Looked up and it was this mid-40 yr old balding man I will never forget that day -.- | ||
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FJ
United Kingdom321 Posts
The, I suppose host of the Club is a gay Filipino man. In between the bands and dancers he introduces them and he also does a bit of singing. So I stand out like a saw thumb in this place (A good thing, I get the pick of the girls haha) I am the only white, or non-pinoy and about a foot taller than everyone, even though I am just under 6 foot. So I am sat at the table with some friends listening to the band, having fun. Then the host comes over to my table and asks about why I'm here in a Filipino club, what I am doing. He seems friendly enough, but then he makes some passes at me haha. I explain I am not gay, but he says that wont stop him. Then he sits with us in the night and makes friends with us. Later that night I get a text from an unknown number while I am at home. It's him, calling me 'Big bird' and telling me how cute me, and my ass is. He got my number from a friend. Anyway, two or 2 weeks later I go back to the club and I am enjoying the band once again. Then the band ends and this guy is on stage again. He says 'Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to introduce you to my love' Then the lights go out, and a spot light lands on me.... I cave to the peer pressure from the entire club and walk to the stage and hop on. Then he calls me big bird, and serenades me with a romance song. So I just stand there, feeling so embarrassed as this gay guy sings a love song to me in front of everyone. I never got any girls that night, just a lot of gay guys making passes on me. Oh man, standing on that stage was sooooo embarrassing. | ||
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Ghyslyn
Canada130 Posts
At one point it came close to my head, I wound up, took a huge swing and punched myself in the lip. Everyone laughed when, between crying and bleeding my explanation for my injury was "I punched myself in the face" | ||
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ChinaLifeXXL
United States365 Posts
lol@ "That wont stop me" | ||
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josemb40
Peru611 Posts
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FJ
United Kingdom321 Posts
It works in my favor though. I put up with the gay passes, and occasional kiss he tries to give me, but I asked him to bring the dancers at the club over. I felt like such a playa as a dozen asisn girls in the panties and bra come over and sit on my lap and in my arms. Damn son, I was such a G playa then haha He also works for a super popular radio station for Filipinos. So if I meet a cute girl, and they listen to the station, I text him and have him play songs for girls on the show. Works really well for me. But he does sing on the radio for me, or plays me gay songs. It is a call in show, so people call in and always ask who 'big bird' is and he explains that big bird is his lover from Britain haha. It is pretty embarrassing. | ||
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sTsCompleted
United States380 Posts
EDIT: whoa, 300th post ;D | ||
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FJ
United Kingdom321 Posts
On August 13 2011 06:33 josemb40 wrote: yeah FJ has the greatest stories, you should blog them I have considered blogging things about Dubai, since it is soooo odd and I am full of good stories. But I don't think more than 4 people would read it haha. | ||
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FJ
United Kingdom321 Posts
Later on, she left my house and headed home. So, it is a very very hot country, and when I am at home, I enjoy walking around in just my boxers. So after she goes, that is exactly what I do. So I sit there in my boxers playing a bit of Xbox. I get thirsty and go to the kitchen for a nice drink. Now, I didn't realize, but on the front of my boxers is some.....how shall I say....sexual related fluid. It is not that I am a messy person, but you know, sometimes it get's places. So I walk out an run into my dad who is in the hall way. He casually looks at me and says 'Hey, whats that on your boxers....' He wasn't thinking, and as he said it, he realized exactly what it was.... We just exchanged to most awkward stare that lasted for quite a while. I just said 'erm.....it must be...toothpaste.' He says: 'Yeah, that is what it is....toothpaste yeah.' Then we spent the next week feeling uncomfortable in each others company haha | ||
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ChinaLifeXXL
United States365 Posts
On August 13 2011 07:08 FJ wrote: So my girl friend was at my house, and we, you know, got up to certain acts. Later on, she left my house and headed home. So, it is a very very hot country, and when I am at home, I enjoy walking around in just my boxers. So after she goes, that is exactly what I do. So I sit there in my boxers playing a bit of Xbox. I get thirsty and go to the kitchen for a nice drink. Now, I didn't realize, but on the front of my boxers is some.....how shall I say....sexual related fluid. It is not that I am a messy person, but you know, sometimes it get's places. So I walk out an run into my dad who is in the hall way. He casually looks at me and says 'Hey, whats that on your boxers....' He wasn't thinking, and as he said it, he realized exactly what it was.... We just exchanged to most awkward stare that lasted for quite a while. I just said 'erm.....it must be...toothpaste.' He says: 'Yeah, that is what it is....toothpaste yeah.' Then we spent the next week feeling uncomfortable in each others company haha BroTip: Say cinnemon next time. Dry cinnemon looks EXACTLY like cum when its on ya clothes. | ||
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Inertiaddict
United States126 Posts
My story isn't racy or anything, but I was completely embarrassed when it happened. I was young, like, young enough to be carried by your parent. My dad and I were in a drive in movie theater. We left our car and we're standing in line to get popcorn. I was bored... or something so I walked in circles around my dad and closed my eyes. I thought I memorized when I would be in front of him, and I kept my eyes close. I just start jumping up and down yelling "Carry me, dad! Carry me!" My arms are flailing. I'm totally carrying on like a child. Anyway, I open my eyes and just see this couple, a man and a woman, my parents age, but total strangers. I was completely embarrassed. My dad was in front of them, so I just walked the rest of the half circle and my dad's like, "That must've been pretty embarrassing." and it was! I'm 28 now and it is still with me. I've gone to a gay club a couple times with 2 of my friends who aren't gay either, lol. It's just some place they felt comfortable in. I'd occasionally get approached by a guy hitting on me, but I take it as compliments and actually feel kind of bad when I tell them, "Sorry, I'm not gay." Actually, now that I remember, I ran into a guy that was in one of my college English classes at the time. He was like, "Oh man, you are?" and I was like ,"No, man, sorry." LOL, slightly embarrassing. | ||
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Thobrik
Sweden1120 Posts
A black girl was sitting next to him. I recommended a move for him and he responded by saying "NIGGA PLEASE" (which actually sounds even worse in swedish ), and a gruesome silence followed, until he realized his mistake, turned to the girl and was like: "Oh I didn't mean it like... it's an internet joke you know..." etc., none of it really improving his precarious position...Nobody said anything until some genius chimed in by saying "awkward turtle". Yes, it was indeed awkward... | ||
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