EPTYou might know each other's deep thoughts and feelings, but have trouble talking in person.
Have you guys experienced this, or something similar? Facebook can be similar. Has technology killed relationships? What do you think of the medium?
Texting vs Face-to-face communication
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Astrapto
United States69 Posts
You might know each other's deep thoughts and feelings, but have trouble talking in person. Have you guys experienced this, or something similar? Facebook can be similar. Has technology killed relationships? What do you think of the medium? | ||
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{CC}StealthBlue
United States41117 Posts
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sickle
New Zealand656 Posts
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StyLeD
United States2965 Posts
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Manifesto7
Osaka27149 Posts
Anyway, I think limiting your thinking to texting is wrong. You should be talking about over-connectivity, which has created an inane property to some social relationships. Talking to my students, many feel pressured to respond quickly to missives and have to deal with the buzzing phone by their head as they sleep. | ||
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Rev0lution
United States1805 Posts
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phil.ipp
Austria1067 Posts
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Gamegene
United States8308 Posts
93% of all communication is nonverbal: eye contact, facial expressions, hand gestures, touch all of it. Meatspace > Facebook. | ||
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Treva
United States533 Posts
However if you use facebook and texting and you aren't resorting to telling people things they should be told in person (a break up, I hate you, w/e) because you're afraid of confrontation face-to-face then I see no problem in it. | ||
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Doomblaze
United States1292 Posts
Texting and face to face are completely different. the real debate is texting vs talking on the phone. you have time to formulate your thoughts when youre texting so you generally dont sound stupid, but hearing peoples voices is much nicer | ||
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Arthemesia
United States292 Posts
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n.DieJokes
United States3443 Posts
On June 20 2011 13:38 Gamegene wrote: When you talk to someone, how much communication is expressed in actual words? Seven percent. 93% of all communication is nonverbal: eye contact, facial expressions, hand gestures, touch all of it. Meatspace > Facebook. Well that sounds like a totally arbitrary statistic but even if that UCLA study wasn't totally bogus its 45% voice, read your link. Meatspace doesn't sound like a place I'd want on my history | ||
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Gaius Baltar
United States449 Posts
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Headlines
United States482 Posts
One important reason I removed facebook was for... and don't laugh, dating! Admit it, the person you really like befriends you, pokes you, sends a PM, yadda yadda... and you befriend him or her, have long-ass 100 page PM's, chat on facebook for hours on end... But what it all comes down to is you're losing your mystery. Hahaha! I'm no David Deangelo or Neil Strauss, but you don't connect with your would-be date as much on facebook as you would with meeting him or her for the first time at a cafe for a nice chat. | ||
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Weson
Iceland1032 Posts
It's also easy to miss-understand a text if there's irony in it and that can cause conflict. | ||
Seeker
Where dat snitch at?37024 Posts
But apart from that, I don't think technology has killed relationships. Rather, most of them have probably been strengthened by it. | ||
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EggYsc2
620 Posts
On June 20 2011 13:44 Gaius Baltar wrote: My girlfriend never texts. She comes when she wants, always wearing the same red dress. I don't think other people can see her and sometimes she hits me, but I love her all the same. I give this the most WTF post ive seen on TL. | ||
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heishe
Germany2284 Posts
A major advantage is that you actually get to think before hitting the "Enter" key. At that equivalent point in real life, your sentence is already out in the air, here you have a few seconds or milliseconds time to realize that you may be stepping over the line. Personally I find it much easier to have long conversations (as in >30 minutes) in written form than in real life. You do not have to spend all your attention to it, it's fine if you do something else for a minute. It's easier to keep check of all the logical points you and your conversational partner made, because you just have to scroll up to read them. All the girl's I've been together with, I've spent an extensive amount of texting/chatting with, and I can certainly say that it has brought me much closer to them. When you ask someone something personal, he or she actually has it a lot more easier to explain when he has time to think about how to put the answer for a minute, instead of standing right on the spot in front of you in a real conversation and having to answer immediately. Of course this can be a problem. Sometimes I've heard that people who met each other through online dating have practically fallen in love with each other from writing with each other exlusively, only to be completely turned off when they met for the first time because whatever image their written text created in each others minds was not like reality at all, and as such they were heavily disappointed. This hasn't ever happened to me, though, and I've met all my long term girlfriends through online dating. To be fair though, with all of them I've done nothing but online chatting for at least a couple of weeks before meeting them (If a person can't impress me online she will never be able to impress me offline). So that might be a problem with already meeting up after just day or something worth of writing. | ||
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Astrapto
United States69 Posts
It seems like teens will have to deal with this issue, or suffer consequences you've been describing. | ||
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Astrapto
United States69 Posts
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analyze
United States155 Posts
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MaxField
United States2386 Posts
IT IS all about the LOVE <3 <3 | ||
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Duskbane
United States178 Posts
On June 20 2011 13:31 Astrapto wrote: Hey TL. So today I was thinking of how friends and bf/gf's can grow closer together through texting, but then that intimacy doesn't come through when seeing each other face-to-face. You might know each other's deep thoughts and feelings, but have trouble talking in person. Have you guys experienced this, or something similar? Facebook can be similar. Has technology killed relationships? What do you think of the medium? Mine went in reverse, met her on Facebook through one of my buddies, we texted for a while and got to know each other, then when we went on a date we were all over each other. :D | ||
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SiDX
New Zealand1975 Posts
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Kaila
United States29 Posts
Some of the best conversations I've had are when you're on that borderline of falling asleep while cuddling in bed and you just spew your thoughts on a free flowing conversation. Long distance/text communications are part of modern society, there is no need to avoid them, just to fit them properly into your relationship. Plus, in real time it's easier for the person to see you for you, not who you want them to perceive you to be. | ||
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Gamegene
United States8308 Posts
On June 20 2011 14:27 SiDX wrote: Use both face to face and technology in moderation. ...? | ||
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Kaila
United States29 Posts
On June 20 2011 14:27 SiDX wrote: Use both face to face and technology in moderation. Why would you want to limit your face to face time? That's why you have your prime "convincing them to take their pants off" opportunities. | ||
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Kinetik_Inferno
United States1431 Posts
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Tegin
United States840 Posts
On June 20 2011 14:11 analyze wrote: Definitely the complete opposite for me... I cannot stand texting my girlfriend but face to face we have a really strong connection (no homo). This is exactly how I am. I despise texting unless its for a short period of time when you just need to ask a couple questions or something. people who can have entire hour + long conversations through texts are nuts. | ||
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Phraxa
United States49 Posts
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Sworn
Canada920 Posts
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The_Piper42
United States426 Posts
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MaxField
United States2386 Posts
On June 20 2011 14:34 Kinetik_Inferno wrote: I don't use facebook all that much, nor do I even own a cell phone. I would say, yes, it does kill relationships because texting can be seen as an easy way out, you don't have to talk to someone face to face, you can fix any "talking" screw ups before you say them, and it's generally "safer". I would definitely prefer to talk with someone than use a medium. If you do not use a cell phone, i do not think it is your call to say that it kills relationships? I can promise you that times when i was away, texting my gf in no way did hinder our relationship. Of course i wish i was close and could do direct contact, but it does not hurt in a way. Also i would say that when talking about safer, texting or face book you have the opportunity to read before you send something, so you have a chance to do a double take. When talking things often slip out. It does go both ways though, in text, they can save something you did wrong, and remember it longer. | ||
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Manifesto7
Osaka27149 Posts
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ZiegFeld
351 Posts
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Mewnfare
United States9 Posts
On June 20 2011 13:44 Gaius Baltar wrote: My girlfriend never texts. She comes when she wants, always wearing the same red dress. I don't think other people can see her and sometimes she hits me, but I love her all the same. sir we have something on dradis ITS A CYLON RAIDER | ||
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Piste
6177 Posts
On June 20 2011 14:42 Manifesto7 wrote: I always laugh at the guys on the train who have two cellphones. One is for the wife and one is for "work". The phone is the #1 way people get caught cheating imo. Because partner goes through your phone? Shouldn't be like that :/ | ||
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Gamegene
United States8308 Posts
On June 20 2011 14:40 MaxField wrote: Also i would say that when talking about safer, texting or face book you have the opportunity to read before you send something, so you have a chance to do a double take. Personally speaking, it's better for someone to fuck up during a conversation and suffer a little bit so that next time you think before you speak. | ||
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Kaila
United States29 Posts
On June 20 2011 14:45 Piste wrote: Because partner goes through your phone? Shouldn't be like that :/ Sometimes it's more about their own insecurities than a distrust in you. I had an ex go through my text messages and AIM conversations twice. It was a deal breaker in the end, but I understood that he had issues from previous relationships which led to his actions. Then again, I always wonder about people who have more than one cell phone. Seems rather unnecessary unless you're up to something illegal. | ||
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dreamsmasher
816 Posts
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Steel91
United States34 Posts
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SiDX
New Zealand1975 Posts
On June 20 2011 14:33 Kaila wrote: Why would you want to limit your face to face time? That's why you have your prime "convincing them to take their pants off" opportunities. Lol I mean just do both but not too much of either. Balance it out I'm really not into texting but some girls like it and if you don't text back they get upset -_- | ||
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NoobSkills
United States1598 Posts
On June 20 2011 13:31 Astrapto wrote: Hey TL. So today I was thinking of how friends and bf/gf's can grow closer together through texting, but then that intimacy doesn't come through when seeing each other face-to-face. You might know each other's deep thoughts and feelings, but have trouble talking in person. Have you guys experienced this, or something similar? Facebook can be similar. Has technology killed relationships? What do you think of the medium? Texting the location of where you will meet face to face. Mindfucked. | ||
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ArYeS
Slovenia268 Posts
I used to be little afraid of calling her at the start, we texted a lot more back then  but it just takes time to adjust and technology helps | ||
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KimJongChill
United States6429 Posts
On June 20 2011 13:38 Gamegene wrote: When you talk to someone, how much communication is expressed in actual words? Seven percent. 93% of all communication is nonverbal: eye contact, facial expressions, hand gestures, touch all of it. Meatspace > Facebook. Dude I love the idea of Meatspace, it should be a new social networking site. | ||
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Belegorm
United States330 Posts
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d(O.o)a
Canada5066 Posts
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Homework
United States283 Posts
On June 20 2011 13:35 Manifesto7 wrote: Sounds like homework to me. Sounds like what to you? | ||
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HikariPrime
United States122 Posts
I know i'm repetitive... >< | ||
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NoodleFish
South Africa198 Posts
I just recently started dating someone else, but varsity holidays just started this week. I still wanna get to know her and it seems IM is the only way we can keep in touch atm. I don't want our relationship to be based on texting though because of what OP said about f2f becoming difficult. This is especially true when it comes to dealing with issues. I've had friends who will fight/argue/even break up over text and they can't face their "significant other" IRL. It's sad that people these days are so impersonal. I agree with someone in a previous post that mentioned that communication is a lot more than words, it'a body language and facial expressions and a ton of other stuff. So my final words are that there's nothing wrong with texting yr bf/gf all the time, but just dont let it become the norm of comminication between u. | ||
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Malks
United Kingdom94 Posts
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Herculix
United States946 Posts
edit to this: apparently people don't really get the value of this. most of the really dirty dark secrets my girlfriends and close friends have had were all revealed to me through text/IM. a huge reason for this is because they can gather themselves and get over their embarassment/disappointment and tell me honestly without choking up and backing out and feeling the pressure of someone waiting for them. it's much more comfortable to say things you would normally be apprehensive of IRL, and people who talk through text/IM have probably noticed this. i never talk on the phone except to ask someone something that takes a few minutes but i kind of need it immediately, like asking people where i'm supposed to go to meet up with them when i'm almost there. i feel like actual conversation is better either text/IM where people express themselves better through words, or face to face where they express themselves better through body language. phone talk is the worst of both worlds to me. the danger is to spend almost no time with someone IRL and fail to truly understand their actual personality. talking online all the time and almost never IRL leads to you understanding someone as a collection of their thoughts and ideas and you don't get their personality which has a lot to do with body language, facial expression and other subtle things the person does rather than says. | ||
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Bill Murray
United States9292 Posts
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Macabre
United States1262 Posts
Though it does seem the generation right below mine is horrible at having real conversations. No body language when telling stories etc. So disconnected with the real world(my nephews are freshman in highschool and I'm 22) | ||
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REDBLUEGREEN
Germany1903 Posts
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couches
618 Posts
On June 20 2011 14:06 heishe wrote: A major advantage is that you actually get to think before hitting the "Enter" key. At that equivalent point in real life, your sentence is already out in the air, here you have a few seconds or milliseconds time to realize that you may be stepping over the line. Think before you speak. Many people don't have that filter between their brain and mouth. | ||
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57 Corvette
Canada5941 Posts
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LoneWolf.Alpha
United States115 Posts
On June 20 2011 13:38 Gamegene wrote: When you talk to someone, how much communication is expressed in actual words? Seven percent. 93% of all communication is nonverbal: eye contact, facial expressions, hand gestures, touch all of it. Meatspace > Facebook. very good point | ||
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Kaonis
United States243 Posts
Most loving relationship I've ever been in, too. | ||
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TS-Rupbar
Sweden1089 Posts
There is no imposed time limit before you have to respond, though you are expected to not take too long. In F2F Conversation, you have to respond instantly or it'll be very weird. The prolonged window of response helps you construct more thoughtful responses. Because you are not physically close to each other when you are texting each other, minimal responses and body language disappear. Think for example about you telling a long story and the other person is just standing there, not laughing or nodding or anything during it. Smileys can make up for some of the body language, but far from all of it. And even then, both of the people communicating have to be very fluent in netspeak. I have much more to write, pm me if you want. But I have to get off the bus now! | ||
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oneofthem
Cayman Islands24199 Posts
your distance to her heart is directly related to the distance between skins | ||
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Sovetsky Soyuz
Russian Federation905 Posts
On June 20 2011 13:35 Manifesto7 wrote: Sounds like homework to me. Fo'sho! | ||
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Lennon
United Kingdom2275 Posts
This is the best post on TL. | ||
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RA
Latvia791 Posts
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QuanticHawk
United States32055 Posts
On June 20 2011 14:42 Manifesto7 wrote: I always laugh at the guys on the train who have two cellphones. One is for the wife and one is for "work". The phone is the #1 way people get caught cheating imo. Two phones is always either a drug dealer or a cover up for some other type of nefarious activity. It's like the biggest red flag ever haha | ||
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TheGiz
Canada708 Posts
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Probe1
United States17920 Posts
On June 20 2011 13:35 {CC}StealthBlue wrote: What? No. And if I may add, lol what? Seriously? You're asking if millions of years of evolution can be trumped by a cell phone then no. Texting isn't better than face to face. | ||
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Kaila
United States29 Posts
On June 20 2011 21:50 Kaonis wrote: My girlfriend doesn't have a cell phone. Most loving relationship I've ever been in, too. Things like that often really depend on the person. I too had a boyfriend who didn't have a cell phone, and he was the most difficult person to get a hold of as well as a cheater. This thread defeats itself since people are talking about personal interaction versus technological and are ignoring the human element. It is up to you and the person you are interacting with to find a proper balance and to not be awkward in person. | ||
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Playguuu
United States926 Posts
On June 20 2011 23:51 Hawk wrote: Two phones is always either a drug dealer or a cover up for some other type of nefarious activity. It's like the biggest red flag ever haha Haha, sounds like Breaking Bad. Guy was a drug dealer and his wife thought he was cheating on her. In college I noticed how prevalent cell phones were. Girls would stare at their cell phones instead of meeting people. Biggest signal they were in a relationship or had a grand sense of self-importance and not worth even talking to. It's irritating how the more they "connect" to people the more they push "outsiders" away. Maybe that's what they are going for, but I think a lot of them were just faking it. | ||
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drewcifer
United States192 Posts
okay so i added nothing to the conversation, but isnt op a troll? User was temp banned for this post. | ||
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Piste
6177 Posts
On June 20 2011 14:49 Kaila wrote: Sometimes it's more about their own insecurities than a distrust in you. I had an ex go through my text messages and AIM conversations twice. It was a deal breaker in the end, but I understood that he had issues from previous relationships which led to his actions. Then again, I always wonder about people who have more than one cell phone. Seems rather unnecessary unless you're up to something illegal. how is that not distrust? | ||
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Kaila
United States29 Posts
I didn't say it wasn't distrust, I said it was more about his own insecurities. | ||
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pQylling
Denmark139 Posts
On June 20 2011 13:44 Gaius Baltar wrote: My girlfriend never texts. She comes when she wants, always wearing the same red dress. I don't think other people can see her and sometimes she hits me, but I love her all the same. Did you make that TL account just to post that? You win +1 internets for that reference sir! | ||
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Precipice
United States121 Posts
On June 20 2011 13:31 Astrapto wrote: Hey TL. So today I was thinking of how friends and bf/gf's can grow closer together through texting, but then that intimacy doesn't come through when seeing each other face-to-face. You might know each other's deep thoughts and feelings, but have trouble talking in person. Have you guys experienced this, or something similar? Facebook can be similar. Has technology killed relationships? What do you think of the medium? When saying something for a first time, people tend to feel much safer doing so through texts. The reasons are rather simple. First, you feel less attached to your message so the danger of making some teenage statement like, "I want to kiss you" is much lesser than actually trying to kiss someone. Similarly, when a person reads a text message, divorced from your body and facial gestures, he/she can interpret it as they wish. So, if the person you're texting wants to read less commitment in your words, they will; if she wants to read more, she will. The point is that it is a weakened form of communication. What I think is causing you issues is that when you have these chats with her (or whoever) you develop a picture of the relationship based on your intentions and hopes. That picture, however, has never been tested against the picture that she has in her mind when she reads that message. When communicating with people in person you are able to understand the extent to which they agree or disagree with your statements: the result is that you gain a level of understanding for how they think about things that are "subjective". That is, just because subjective is personal, does not mean you cannot figure out someone else's subjective thoughts and opinions. Communicating with someone, intimately, means understanding their subjectivity: it means understanding exactly how they interpret what you say and what those words mean to them. Thus, when you meet up in person, you are not sure of the extent to which her "I want to kiss you too" meant the same thing that it did to you over the phone. You are then afraid to pursue it. The other relatively simple concept is that a "thing" spoken is different than a "thing" written. | ||
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Craton
United States17250 Posts
Look at the account name of the poster. | ||
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Astrapto
United States69 Posts
On June 21 2011 00:55 TheGiz wrote:
This is helpful and seems pretty accurate, thank you. | ||
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Roeder
Denmark735 Posts
It is in some cases impossible to read and comprehend messages when they're filled with smileys. Is the person serious? Is the person afraid to sound serious? But RL > digitally, no doubt. | ||
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KimJongChill
United States6429 Posts
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Astrapto
United States69 Posts
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Grobyc
Canada18410 Posts
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Malgrif
Canada1095 Posts
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ApollosAnarchy
Canada9 Posts
On June 21 2011 11:40 Grobyc wrote: Ehhh texting is only supposed to be for communication when you don't have time to see eachother while wanting to talk to eachother. Even then, calling is usually better, but you don't want to be calling multiple times a day, so texting isn't so bad. If you actually prefer texting over face-to-face communication then your relationship is a joke to be honest. Can't agree more, though you should always save big news/serious conversations for a face-to-face conversation. I think you are just a big coward if you hide behind text, and never face a person. | ||
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raja91
Canada28 Posts
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ApollosAnarchy
Canada9 Posts
On June 21 2011 11:50 raja91 wrote: i dont have a car so face to face time for a girl i just met is so hard I am not sure where you live but generally there is a thing called a public transit system. If you really like the girl then you will make a way to see her. | ||
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mangina
United States230 Posts
You look now, there's a girl who died over an imaginary myspace "boyfriend" who was just a couple of girls that didnt like the girl. Does that sound real to you? This is what our life is slowly turning in to. With increase in technology and innovation to our lives, comes many goods and bads. These, being one of the bads. A person back in the older time could have a long distance relationship. He or She has the ability to cheat on the other person and they wouldn't have a clue about it. But the people who have strong values would show self control and respect and wouldnt cheat. I feel values were much stronger back then. You look now, there's a husband who would express domestic abuse and hit their wife just because shes been secretly communicating with an old male friend. Even worse (this is based off a true story), a woman had recently broken up with her husband. Until one day she got an email from an old high school crush. They got back together and married and hit it off really well. But secretly, he was gay. Technology has its goods and bads. It can strength our communication but kill our social skills. At the same time, it can make artificial/unstable relationships. Ultimately, its up to you to make the right means of communication. Humans are designed to adapt. If technology advances, so should we. | ||
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Ruscour
5233 Posts
I think this is the best post I've ever seen on TL. It comes down to a personal thing. My girlfriend likes to talk on the phone whereas I don't, I prefer face-to-face interaction over everything whereas it's not that big of a deal for her. Maybe it's because face-to-face I see her body when on the phone all I hear is yap yap yap. But seriously, even as technology becomes more and more dominant, face-to-face interaction is still crucial. Texting is also a pain in the butt to do. | ||
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ApollosAnarchy
Canada9 Posts
On June 21 2011 12:02 Ruscour wrote: I think this is the best post I've ever seen on TL. It comes down to a personal thing. My girlfriend likes to talk on the phone whereas I don't, I prefer face-to-face interaction over everything whereas it's not that big of a deal for her. Maybe it's because face-to-face I see her body when on the phone all I hear is yap yap yap. But seriously, even as technology becomes more and more dominant, face-to-face interaction is still crucial. Texting is also a pain in the butt to do. I find it sad that everyone thinks that, that was the best post on TL... I need to find a better forum. As for your post it is always nice to have something to look at when the woman is yapping at yah. | ||
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Asdkmoga
United States496 Posts
also for quite a few weeks in summer shes in a College-Prep program and is living in a dorm that doesn't allow me to visit during the week, soooo i can honestly say this relationship would be nowhere without facebook  | ||
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IzieBoy
United States865 Posts
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mYiKane
Canada1772 Posts
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kellymilkies
Singapore1393 Posts
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forgotten0ne
United States951 Posts
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AeroGear
Canada652 Posts
Its such an epic troll  Look at his user name... Then watch Battlestar Galactica! The blond woman in a red dress is Gaius Baltar's Cylon girlfriend in the serie, and she haunts him constantly. | ||
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han_han
United States205 Posts
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fiskrens
Sweden196 Posts
On June 21 2011 11:57 mangina wrote: If you imagined what life was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in old times (where there was no means of communications besides writing letters that took forever to be carried by a messanger) people had to see each other face to face to communicate. Life was very social. You look now, there's a girl who died over an imaginary myspace "boyfriend" who was just a couple of girls that didnt like the girl. Does that sound real to you? This is what our life is slowly turning in to. With increase in technology and innovation to our lives, comes many goods and bads. These, being one of the bads. A person back in the older time could have a long distance relationship. He or She has the ability to cheat on the other person and they wouldn't have a clue about it. But the people who have strong values would show self control and respect and wouldnt cheat. I feel values were much stronger back then. You look now, there's a husband who would express domestic abuse and hit their wife just because shes been secretly communicating with an old male friend. Even worse (this is based off a true story), a woman had recently broken up with her husband. Until one day she got an email from an old high school crush. They got back together and married and hit it off really well. But secretly, he was gay. Technology has its goods and bads. It can strength our communication but kill our social skills. At the same time, it can make artificial/unstable relationships. Ultimately, its up to you to make the right means of communication. Humans are designed to adapt. If technology advances, so should we. Just keep the last part next time and skip the old times yada yada, it's an extremely poor comparison to how communication worked back then. Life was very social, sure, but only talking to a few select people every day and no real option to talk to anyone that didn't live in the same area doesn't sound like it's more social than it is nowadays. The very rare cases we have today where either stupid people or weak minds get tricked by someone behind a screen and commuit suicide can't even be compared to the amount of crimes that existed back then because there was no easy way to reach out for help. The long distance relationship part doesn't make any sense. Pretty much the same can be applied to today so I can't see how you feel values were much stronger back then. | ||
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Asrathiel
Australia377 Posts
My bf lives an hour away, only see him on the weekends, we chat on fb every night (ok almost every night ) which works far better than talking on the phone every night would, we can be doing other stuff too, we can have inane chats about nothing in particular, we can be watching day9 in another window, lol... I just like having that little bit of connection at the end of each day, and it works for us. We also met online... I wonder if people who meet online communicate more online during their relationship that people who meet in other ways? | ||
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SpoR
United States1542 Posts
Texting is fucking terrible for communicating feelings or thoughts or anything other than straight to the point shit. Texting stuff like that also implies that you can't/won't/hesitate to say them in person or with your own voice to the other person. Which is basically signalling a weakness or lack of confidence. Before you text, think if you would call this person to say the text. If it seems worthless or silly don't text. I fucking text too much even though I know this shit. Trust me, texting all the time is the way down washout lane with the ladies. | ||
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DarthXX
Australia998 Posts
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Asrathiel
Australia377 Posts
On June 22 2011 19:55 SpoR wrote: Trust me, texting all the time is the way down washout lane with the ladies. Maybe with some. I hate talking on the phone, if I can't talk to someone irl I'd much rather email, chat or text. I love getting messages, but that could just be me | ||
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matko5
Croatia385 Posts
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Zeke50100
United States2220 Posts
On June 21 2011 11:57 mangina wrote: If you imagined what life was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in old times (where there was no means of communications besides writing letters that took forever to be carried by a messanger) people had to see each other face to face to communicate. Life was very social. You look now, there's a girl who died over an imaginary myspace "boyfriend" who was just a couple of girls that didnt like the girl. Does that sound real to you? This is what our life is slowly turning in to. With increase in technology and innovation to our lives, comes many goods and bads. These, being one of the bads. A person back in the older time could have a long distance relationship. He or She has the ability to cheat on the other person and they wouldn't have a clue about it. But the people who have strong values would show self control and respect and wouldnt cheat. I feel values were much stronger back then. You look now, there's a husband who would express domestic abuse and hit their wife just because shes been secretly communicating with an old male friend. Even worse (this is based off a true story), a woman had recently broken up with her husband. Until one day she got an email from an old high school crush. They got back together and married and hit it off really well. But secretly, he was gay. Technology has its goods and bads. It can strength our communication but kill our social skills. At the same time, it can make artificial/unstable relationships. Ultimately, its up to you to make the right means of communication. Humans are designed to adapt. If technology advances, so should we. So, would you assume that if this website didn't exist, I would be going out and personally meeting the people I would want to talk to? >.< | ||
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RoarMan
Canada745 Posts
On June 21 2011 11:57 mangina wrote: If you imagined what life was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back in old times (where there was no means of communications besides writing letters that took forever to be carried by a messanger) people had to see each other face to face to communicate. Life was very social. You look now, there's a girl who died over an imaginary myspace "boyfriend" who was just a couple of girls that didnt like the girl. Does that sound real to you? This is what our life is slowly turning in to. With increase in technology and innovation to our lives, comes many goods and bads. These, being one of the bads. A person back in the older time could have a long distance relationship. He or She has the ability to cheat on the other person and they wouldn't have a clue about it. But the people who have strong values would show self control and respect and wouldnt cheat. I feel values were much stronger back then. You look now, there's a husband who would express domestic abuse and hit their wife just because shes been secretly communicating with an old male friend. Even worse (this is based off a true story), a woman had recently broken up with her husband. Until one day she got an email from an old high school crush. They got back together and married and hit it off really well. But secretly, he was gay. Technology has its goods and bads. It can strength our communication but kill our social skills. At the same time, it can make artificial/unstable relationships. Ultimately, its up to you to make the right means of communication. Humans are designed to adapt. If technology advances, so should we. Mangina I think when your talking about the situation with the husband domestically abusing his wife that's a very specific case and doesn't even have to do with technological advances. Spouses were abused far worse back in the day and it was perfectly acceptable. You do raise some good points though, although I don't think texting and facebook makes you less social. I think that while you become used to texting you become better at your indirect social skills but as a result you're not as comfortable with face to face interactions. After all who's to say that texting is not as social as face to face? Sometimes texting can be more intimate because of how discreet it can be. | ||
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Antares777
United States1971 Posts
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GreEny K
Germany7312 Posts
On June 23 2011 02:34 Antares777 wrote: I prefer to type (IM, Facebook, emails, etc) to communicate with people, because then I don't trip over words. I talk to my friends and family and even outside of those groups with other people face to face, it can sometimes be embarrassing though. I don't always trip over words, but when I do, I feel like a fool. Maybe I trip over words because I get nervous in a face to face conversation? I don't know. Relax when you talk to people... I don't think anyone is judging you for messing up a word. | ||
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Googity
United States127 Posts
I just use texts to shoot short random questions to people if I'm unable to make a phone call at the time. Otherwise it's all either phone or face-to-face for me now | ||
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acrimoneyius
United States983 Posts
On June 23 2011 02:34 Antares777 wrote: I prefer to type (IM, Facebook, emails, etc) to communicate with people, because then I don't trip over words. I talk to my friends and family and even outside of those groups with other people face to face, it can sometimes be embarrassing though. I don't always trip over words, but when I do, I feel like a fool. Maybe I trip over words because I get nervous in a face to face conversation? I don't know. Don't let the fear of messing up be the reason you're messing up. No one has perfect speech anyways. | ||
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ClysmiC
United States2192 Posts
On June 20 2011 13:38 Gamegene wrote: When you talk to someone, how much communication is expressed in actual words? Seven percent. 93% of all communication is nonverbal: eye contact, facial expressions, hand gestures, touch all of it. Meatspace > Facebook. Lol that is total BS. If this were the case, I could have a conversation with a deaf person easily, with hardly any miscommunication. This is such a subjective thing, and I'm not really sure it can even be assigned a quantitative value. And if it can, there is no way we could determine it. | ||
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Endymion
United States3701 Posts
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Yurie
11838 Posts
On June 20 2011 14:42 Manifesto7 wrote: I always laugh at the guys on the train who have two cellphones. One is for the wife and one is for "work". The phone is the #1 way people get caught cheating imo. I find having 2 phones logical in many lines of work. If you need a cellphone for work and you need one in your private life. Why would those be the same? You want totally different functions on them, you also don't want to pay the bill for both ones, neither the company nor the individual wants to pay the other part of the bill. Depending on where you work you might need to be able to be reached at certain times/days outside of work hours. Having the option of turning off your private phone is still a great option. If a phone with 2 sim slots can fulfil all the needs you have, then having only one might be a good idea. | ||
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Redman
Canada88 Posts
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striderxxx
Canada443 Posts
On June 23 2011 04:14 Redman wrote: You cant get a BJ over the phone. So ya face to face is better well said! | ||
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SpoR
United States1542 Posts
On June 22 2011 21:12 Asrathiel wrote: Maybe with some. I hate talking on the phone, if I can't talk to someone irl I'd much rather email, chat or text. I love getting messages, but that could just be me Ok, riddle me this batman. What would you rather have: A) get a call from a guy professing his undying love to you. B) get a message from a guy professing his undying love for you. | ||
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dogmeatstew
Canada574 Posts
Also it's super awkward when they notice the cringe every time I make eye contact. I wish I'd done a better job at only making friends with attractive people... | ||
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Asrathiel
Australia377 Posts
On June 24 2011 05:16 SpoR wrote: Ok, riddle me this batman. What would you rather have: A) get a call from a guy professing his undying love to you. B) get a message from a guy professing his undying love for you. I would rather he said it to my face, lol. If it was a big announcement, 'Oh I love you so much, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, yada yada yada' then neither would really be appropriate. If it was a routine "I love you, good night xx" then I'd rather a text. If we'd been having a conversation then phone might be alright, but as I said in a previous post, I only see my bf on the weekends and we chat on fb most nights, and I like that. And again, could just be me, I REALLY don't like calling people and I feel awkward talking on the phone. | ||
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oDieN[Siege]
United States2904 Posts
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kiykiy
233 Posts
On June 20 2011 23:51 Hawk wrote: Two phones is always either a drug dealer or a cover up for some other type of nefarious activity. It's like the biggest red flag ever haha Lots of people have two phones though, if you have an "on-call" job, ppl constantly contact you even though its your "off-call" day .... -_- | ||
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XDJuicebox
United States593 Posts
And talking in person should be a lot more important, imo. When you're talking in person though, you kind of just gotta ignore the awkwardness, then the person can connect to you the way they do via text message. | ||
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forgotten0ne
United States951 Posts
On June 24 2011 09:45 kiykiy wrote: Lots of people have two phones though, if you have an "on-call" job, ppl constantly contact you even though its your "off-call" day .... -_- I have 7 phones - one for each girl. ;D | ||
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Irrelevant
United States2364 Posts
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Benjef
United Kingdom6921 Posts
I've also found that text communications has brought me very close to, two of my friends in recent months, but again that friendship transcribes over to real life and we get on just as well as when texting or talking in real life. But then again I do know of/heard of people that get on amazingly well through texting and msn and then when they come to see each other in real life the conversation is dead... The only reason I can pin point this on is because its much easier to think about what your going to text, you have time and theres no pressure of the other person staring you in the face. Its just easier and less stressful to text someone you like and its easier to text questions you would really ask in real life thats in my opinion at least. However I've grown up in the era where everyone MSN and texts each other, no one ever calls anymore. | ||
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Maynarde
Australia1286 Posts
On June 24 2011 14:56 Irrelevant wrote: I just text pictures of my junk Oh god. Shouldn't have laughed. But I did. I actually despise Facebook but not because it "kills relationships" or anything silly like that. There are lots of people I've met in person, then gotten their skypes / msn / whatever and developed a relationship further. Developing relationships = Communication, and funnily enough Skype / MSN / Even Faceborg (resistance is futile) counts as communication. If the quality of communication is terrible then it's not really because of the medium it's because of said person's social retardation. Which will most likely also affect their face to face communication. This is all imo obviously. | ||
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NEOtheONE
United States2233 Posts
Next, I want to share some personal experience. I am a bit of an introvert. IM, social networking, etc. lets me remain being introverted (and perhaps makes me more introverted) and still talk to people, rather than me having to physically go somewhere and meet people. While you may be thinking that can be a good thing, for me it's not. I have seriously considered deleting my facebook on multiple occasions because rather than help people stay connected, it gives people an excuse to not call you or do something with you in person. Why make the effort for a 15-30 min phone call, or 20 min drive then 30+min of talking, when you can just send a wall post in like 5 seconds? Thus I get frustrated because no one seems to want to make the effort to have more traditional forms of communication. From a counseling perspective, in order to be a functional human being, you have to be able to have some skills with regards to in person communication. If you spend your life behind a computer or phone screen, then how can you develop social skills, read body language, or understand nonverbal gestures? The Internet has greatly expanded communication, but it has also greatly expanded negative communication via cyberbullying. Rumors used to be spread through mouth and would only reach so far, but now people can torment someone and pass it on to thousands more. The anonymity and emotional detachment in text based communication leads to people saying things they would never say in person, but these things can have the same consequences as if they were said in person. People are too quick to forget that there's a human being with emotions on the receiving end of text communication. | ||
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