EPT+ Show Spoiler +
gang rape
what did the egg say to the boiling water?
+ Show Spoiler +
it's gonna take me awhile to get hard, i just got laid by some chick
didnt read through entire thread so dunno if these were posted already
joke thread 09 - Page 5
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SpiritoftheTunA
United States20903 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + what did the egg say to the boiling water? + Show Spoiler + didnt read through entire thread so dunno if these were posted already | ||
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deathgod6
United States5064 Posts
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Djabanete
United States2786 Posts
The Alsatian looks confused and says, "But then it wouldn't make any sense..." | ||
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x89titan
Philippines1130 Posts
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Wire
United States494 Posts
On September 08 2009 14:45 x89titan wrote: Man was being chased by a tiger. Tiger chase him to edge of cliff. Man falls off. Halfway down, he grab onto branch. He look up, he see ferocious tiger. Now he look down, he see another hungry tiger, waiting for him on the ground below. Not a good place to be. He knows for sure he gonna die. Then out of corner of his eye he see a wild strawberry growing on same branch. He pluck it and eat it. And it was the sweetest-tasting strawberry he ever had. i dun get it..and i got the rest of the jokes on this thread. | ||
MrHoon
10183 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + The Russians used a pencil. | ||
Heyoka
Katowice25012 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + HE WAS TOO SHORT TO BE AN ESé | ||
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x89titan
Philippines1130 Posts
On September 08 2009 14:47 Wire wrote: i dun get it..and i got the rest of the jokes on this thread. no one does | ||
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OmgIRok
Taiwan2699 Posts
After the Cheeta wins, the lion says, "you're a cheetah!" And then the cheetah says "You're lion!" | ||
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Last.Midnight
Australia903 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + i hate women. they're only good for fucking. User was temp banned for this post. | ||
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niteReloaded
Croatia5281 Posts
On September 08 2009 08:33 jodogohoo wrote: How many Alzheimers sufferers does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side! tho the other jokes might feel more funny, this one is the only one that actually made me chuckle. | ||
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koreakool
United States334 Posts
On September 08 2009 11:49 deathgod6 wrote: Same thing happened to me. Spanish made me see double L. it's supposed to be "I lean" It should actually be "Eileen" IMO | ||
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Alak
Sweden380 Posts
He immediately left for Canada and found the bar, where a number of lumberjacks were currently drinking. He struck up a conversation with them and was soon convinced that these guys were the real deal. He then asked how you became a lumberjack in these parts. The lumberjacks shared a glance, and then one of them told him about the three tests. The first test was to drink an entire pint of bourbon in one swig. The second was to go out into the woods and defeat a grizzly bear in a wrestling contest. The third test was to have sex with an eskimo afterwards. Sure enough, the tough guy downed the bourbon and stumbled out the door, into the forest. He came back around two hours later and he was a complete mess, his shirt slashed to ribbons, bleeding profusely everywhere and barely able to stand. He then asked: + Show Spoiler + Ok... So where is this eskimo I'm supposed to wrestle? | ||
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Warrior Madness
Canada3791 Posts
On September 08 2009 14:45 x89titan wrote: Man was being chased by a tiger. Tiger chase him to edge of cliff. Man falls off. Halfway down, he grab onto branch. He look up, he see ferocious tiger. Now he look down, he see another hungry tiger, waiting for him on the ground below. Not a good place to be. He knows for sure he gonna die. Then out of corner of his eye he see a wild strawberry growing on same branch. He pluck it and eat it. And it was the sweetest-tasting strawberry he ever had. LMAO! Only a few people will get this one, for sure!! hahaha. Nice one. I know someone who once told this joke at a funeral. | ||
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JohnColtrane
Australia4813 Posts
On September 08 2009 15:23 Last.Midnight wrote: what did the nigger say to the dead baby? + Show Spoiler + i hate women. they're only good for fucking. rofl | ||
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pyrogenetix
China5094 Posts
A hippie gets on a bus and sits beside a nun. It's the hottest nun he has ever seen in his entire life. The hippie asks if the nun will have sex with him. She yells NO, slaps him, and gets off at the next stop. The bus driver, seeing the hippie's face of disappointment, goes up and says: "Hey, I know how you can get lucky with that nun." "How?", asks the hippie, his whole face lighting up. "Every Saturday night at midnight, that nun goes to the cemetary down Johnson street to pray. If you show up dressed in a Jesus costume, she'll probably do anything you ask!" Delighted and filled with confidence, the hippie goes next Saturday to the cemetary dressed in white robes and sure enough, there's a nun on her knees infront of a tombstone praying. "I'm Jesus! I have come down to Earth to specifically sample the fruits of your body. If you are able to satisfy me I will take you with me to heaven instantly." The nun thinks for a while and says: "Alright but I would like to keep my virginity for someone else waiting for me in heaven. I can only offer you my... *blushing* behind... " Hearing this the hippie goes crazy and starts pumping the nun harder than ever. After they both explode in ecstasy, the hippie jumps up and pulls off his robes: "I'M THE HIPPIE FROM THE BUS!" The nun rips off her clothes: "I'M THE BUS DRIVER!" ---Here's a stoner joke--- A koala is sitting up in a tree, ready to spark up a phat J. Suddenly a small gecko walks up to the tree. The koala says: "Yo gecko stop hangin around come hit this shit foo." "Aight aight." After a while they are both fuckin blazed. The gecko says: "Shit holmes I gots the cottonmouth. You got somethin ta drink?" "Aw shit naw man but... there's a river not far from here" "Cool." So the gecko goes down the tree and to the river. At the river he meets a crocodile. "Yo croco, koala got some dank ass shit man you gotta hit this." "For real? Damn aight. Where he at?" "He be up in the tree yonder." So the crocodile walks back to the tree and the koala, letting out a huge drag, eyes bloodshot like cherry tomatoes, says in awe: "Holy SHIT dude... how much water did you DRINK?" | ||
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Last.Midnight
Australia903 Posts
On September 08 2009 17:06 Warrior Madness wrote: LMAO! Only a few people will get this one, for sure!! hahaha. Nice one. I know someone who once told this joke at a funeral. care to elaborofl? | ||
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BanZu
United States3329 Posts
It's not a joke. Just google it up. | ||
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SpiritoftheTunA
United States20903 Posts
it is though, i've heard a variation with an apple tree and it was the best goddamn apple he ever had | ||
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pyrogenetix
China5094 Posts
On September 08 2009 18:08 SpiritoftheTunA wrote: it is though, i've heard a variation with an apple tree and it was the best goddamn apple he ever had ok so i just googled it and it was some zen story where there were two mice gnawing away at the vine he was holding on to as well. i still dont get why it's funny. | ||
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