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joke thread 09 - Page 6

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BanZu
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States3329 Posts
September 08 2009 09:22 GMT
#101
On September 08 2009 18:20 pyrogenetix wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 08 2009 18:08 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:
On September 08 2009 18:07 BanZu wrote:
On September 08 2009 17:35 Last.Midnight wrote:
On September 08 2009 17:06 Warrior Madness wrote:
On September 08 2009 14:45 x89titan wrote:
Man was being chased by a tiger. Tiger chase him to edge of cliff. Man falls off. Halfway down, he grab onto branch. He look up, he see ferocious tiger. Now he look down, he see another hungry tiger, waiting for him on the ground below. Not a good place to be. He knows for sure he gonna die. Then out of corner of his eye he see a wild strawberry growing on same branch. He pluck it and eat it. And it was the sweetest-tasting strawberry he ever had.


LMAO! Only a few people will get this one, for sure!! hahaha. Nice one. I know someone who once told this joke at a funeral.


care to elaborofl?

It's not a joke. Just google it up.

it is though, i've heard a variation with an apple tree

and it was the best goddamn apple he ever had

ok so i just googled it and it was some zen story where there were two mice gnawing away at the vine he was holding on to as well.

i still dont get why it's funny.

It's not a joke! :[
Sun Tzu once said, "Defiler becomes useless at the presences of a vessel."
Piste
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
6183 Posts
September 08 2009 09:37 GMT
#102
On September 08 2009 18:22 BanZu wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 08 2009 18:20 pyrogenetix wrote:
On September 08 2009 18:08 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:
On September 08 2009 18:07 BanZu wrote:
On September 08 2009 17:35 Last.Midnight wrote:
On September 08 2009 17:06 Warrior Madness wrote:
On September 08 2009 14:45 x89titan wrote:
Man was being chased by a tiger. Tiger chase him to edge of cliff. Man falls off. Halfway down, he grab onto branch. He look up, he see ferocious tiger. Now he look down, he see another hungry tiger, waiting for him on the ground below. Not a good place to be. He knows for sure he gonna die. Then out of corner of his eye he see a wild strawberry growing on same branch. He pluck it and eat it. And it was the sweetest-tasting strawberry he ever had.


LMAO! Only a few people will get this one, for sure!! hahaha. Nice one. I know someone who once told this joke at a funeral.


care to elaborofl?

It's not a joke. Just google it up.

it is though, i've heard a variation with an apple tree

and it was the best goddamn apple he ever had

ok so i just googled it and it was some zen story where there were two mice gnawing away at the vine he was holding on to as well.

i still dont get why it's funny.

It's not a joke! :[

well why is it in the joke-thread?
EXPLAIN please! I don't get it either =D
pyrogenetix
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
China5098 Posts
September 08 2009 10:35 GMT
#103
On September 08 2009 18:22 BanZu wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 08 2009 18:20 pyrogenetix wrote:
On September 08 2009 18:08 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:
On September 08 2009 18:07 BanZu wrote:
On September 08 2009 17:35 Last.Midnight wrote:
On September 08 2009 17:06 Warrior Madness wrote:
On September 08 2009 14:45 x89titan wrote:
Man was being chased by a tiger. Tiger chase him to edge of cliff. Man falls off. Halfway down, he grab onto branch. He look up, he see ferocious tiger. Now he look down, he see another hungry tiger, waiting for him on the ground below. Not a good place to be. He knows for sure he gonna die. Then out of corner of his eye he see a wild strawberry growing on same branch. He pluck it and eat it. And it was the sweetest-tasting strawberry he ever had.


LMAO! Only a few people will get this one, for sure!! hahaha. Nice one. I know someone who once told this joke at a funeral.


care to elaborofl?

It's not a joke. Just google it up.

it is though, i've heard a variation with an apple tree

and it was the best goddamn apple he ever had

ok so i just googled it and it was some zen story where there were two mice gnawing away at the vine he was holding on to as well.

i still dont get why it's funny.

It's not a joke! :[

then why in god's unholy fucking name is it in the joke thread?

fuck i hate people that post some unrelated unknown useless shit in a thread then go HAHAHAH OMG THIS IS SO FUNNY BUT NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND IT AND THAT MAKES ME SO COOL
Yea that looks just like Kang Min... amazing game sense... and uses mind games well, but has the micro of a washed up progamer.
pangshai
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
Chinatown5333 Posts
September 08 2009 10:47 GMT
#104
3 tomatoes are walking to town. papa tomato, mama tomato and baby tomato. baby tomato is lagging behind and papa tomato gets really angry. he goes back to baby tomato, squishes him, and says
+ Show Spoiler +
catch up
#1 midas fan
LordWeird
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
United States3411 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-09-08 10:55:13
September 08 2009 10:53 GMT
#105
A vampire walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What will you be havin'?"
The vampire replies: "Shot of blood, please." The bartender obliges and everything was great.

Next day, a second vampire comes in. The bartender asks what he wants. "Shot of blood, please". The bartender is happy to comply and gives him what he wants.

On the following day, a third vampire walks in. In anticipation, the bartender shouts: "Lemme guess! You'll be having the shot of blood!?". The vampire replies: "No sir, just a cup of hot water please."

"Hot water, sir?"

The vampire looks back and pulls out a used tampon.

"It's tea time."
Chains none
niteReloaded
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Croatia5282 Posts
September 08 2009 11:48 GMT
#106
On September 08 2009 19:53 LordWeird wrote:
A vampire walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What will you be havin'?"
The vampire replies: "Shot of blood, please." The bartender obliges and everything was great.

Next day, a second vampire comes in. The bartender asks what he wants. "Shot of blood, please". The bartender is happy to comply and gives him what he wants.

On the following day, a third vampire walks in. In anticipation, the bartender shouts: "Lemme guess! You'll be having the shot of blood!?". The vampire replies: "No sir, just a cup of hot water please."

"Hot water, sir?"

The vampire looks back and pulls out a used tampon.

"It's tea time."

I heard this joke in Croatian like 8-9 years ago, and it went exactly the same. It'd be cool if we could track each joke to it's source.
LordWeird
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
United States3411 Posts
September 08 2009 12:07 GMT
#107
On September 08 2009 20:48 niteReloaded wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 08 2009 19:53 LordWeird wrote:
A vampire walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What will you be havin'?"
The vampire replies: "Shot of blood, please." The bartender obliges and everything was great.

Next day, a second vampire comes in. The bartender asks what he wants. "Shot of blood, please". The bartender is happy to comply and gives him what he wants.

On the following day, a third vampire walks in. In anticipation, the bartender shouts: "Lemme guess! You'll be having the shot of blood!?". The vampire replies: "No sir, just a cup of hot water please."

"Hot water, sir?"

The vampire looks back and pulls out a used tampon.

"It's tea time."

I heard this joke in Croatian like 8-9 years ago, and it went exactly the same. It'd be cool if we could track each joke to it's source.


Yeah, it's a classic for sure. Don't remember exactly where I heard it but It's always been one of my favorites.
Chains none
MantaRay
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States20 Posts
September 08 2009 16:16 GMT
#108
On September 08 2009 15:27 niteReloaded wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 08 2009 08:33 jodogohoo wrote:
How many Alzheimers sufferers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
To get to the other side!

tho the other jokes might feel more funny, this one is the only one that actually made me chuckle.


I don't get it...
nortorius
Profile Joined April 2003
Canada1210 Posts
September 08 2009 16:26 GMT
#109
On September 09 2009 01:16 MantaRay wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 08 2009 15:27 niteReloaded wrote:
On September 08 2009 08:33 jodogohoo wrote:
How many Alzheimers sufferers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
To get to the other side!

tho the other jokes might feel more funny, this one is the only one that actually made me chuckle.


I don't get it...


He didn't remember which joke he was telling.
SpiritoftheTunA
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States20903 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-09-08 17:55:10
September 08 2009 17:53 GMT
#110
On September 08 2009 19:35 pyrogenetix wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 08 2009 18:22 BanZu wrote:
On September 08 2009 18:20 pyrogenetix wrote:
On September 08 2009 18:08 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:
On September 08 2009 18:07 BanZu wrote:
On September 08 2009 17:35 Last.Midnight wrote:
On September 08 2009 17:06 Warrior Madness wrote:
On September 08 2009 14:45 x89titan wrote:
Man was being chased by a tiger. Tiger chase him to edge of cliff. Man falls off. Halfway down, he grab onto branch. He look up, he see ferocious tiger. Now he look down, he see another hungry tiger, waiting for him on the ground below. Not a good place to be. He knows for sure he gonna die. Then out of corner of his eye he see a wild strawberry growing on same branch. He pluck it and eat it. And it was the sweetest-tasting strawberry he ever had.


LMAO! Only a few people will get this one, for sure!! hahaha. Nice one. I know someone who once told this joke at a funeral.


care to elaborofl?

It's not a joke. Just google it up.

it is though, i've heard a variation with an apple tree

and it was the best goddamn apple he ever had

ok so i just googled it and it was some zen story where there were two mice gnawing away at the vine he was holding on to as well.

i still dont get why it's funny.

It's not a joke! :[

then why in god's unholy fucking name is it in the joke thread?

fuck i hate people that post some unrelated unknown useless shit in a thread then go HAHAHAH OMG THIS IS SO FUNNY BUT NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND IT AND THAT MAKES ME SO COOL

don't rage so hard, the first time i heard that joke, i laughed like a maniac. freal.

edit: though honestly its much better when told in person
posting on liquid sites in current year
Elian
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States129 Posts
September 08 2009 18:11 GMT
#111
Yeah I think it's pretty funny as well. You just have to hear an excited delivery behind it as if it were a joke and it's enjoyable.
Kennelie
Profile Joined December 2007
United States2296 Posts
September 08 2009 18:17 GMT
#112
Sarah Fawcett had a dying wish. She wished that all the children in the world to be safe.

Micheal Jackson dies.
ya had ya shot kid!
winterBlossom
Profile Joined July 2009
Australia27 Posts
September 08 2009 18:24 GMT
#113
What's up with hedgehogs? Why can't they just share the hedge?
Baby be mine
Hyaach
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Singapore1737 Posts
September 08 2009 18:33 GMT
#114
- Name?
- Abu Dalah Sarafi.
- Sex?
- Four times a week.
- No, no, no: male or female?
- Male, female... sometimes camel...
Thailand is my new obsession
Wire
Profile Joined July 2009
United States494 Posts
September 08 2009 20:10 GMT
#115
On September 09 2009 03:33 Hyaach wrote:
- Name?
- Abu Dalah Sarafi.
- Sex?
- Four times a week.
- No, no, no: male or female?
- Male, female... sometimes camel...


LOL XD
"You sacced your ovie, which is great, but then you didn't watch it die, which is bad :("
Metronome
Profile Joined October 2008
United States98 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-09-08 20:21:25
September 08 2009 20:20 GMT
#116
So a dyslexic guy walks into a bra...

TeamLiquid CJ Entusman #45 -- <3 Much[gm] <3
istealhotelsoap
Profile Joined February 2007
United States514 Posts
September 08 2009 20:33 GMT
#117
On September 08 2009 07:00 Ozarugold wrote:
Three men walked into a bar...
+ Show Spoiler +
the fourth one ducked.

omg that took me forever to get
so damn funny
jtan
Profile Blog Joined April 2003
Sweden5891 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-09-08 20:44:38
September 08 2009 20:38 GMT
#118
Two construction workers are fixing the wall of a building. One of them needs a saw so he shouts to his co-worker five floors up, but it's too far and they can't hear eachother so instead the man points at his friend and makes a sawing motion with his hand. In response to this the other man starts masturbating furiously. So the first guy runs up five floors to his friend and yells
-what the fuck is wrong with you? All I needed was a saw!
+ Show Spoiler +
-I know, just tried to tell you I'm coming soon
Enter a Uh
x89titan
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
Philippines1130 Posts
September 08 2009 21:07 GMT
#119
On September 08 2009 19:35 pyrogenetix wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 08 2009 18:22 BanZu wrote:
On September 08 2009 18:20 pyrogenetix wrote:
On September 08 2009 18:08 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:
On September 08 2009 18:07 BanZu wrote:
On September 08 2009 17:35 Last.Midnight wrote:
On September 08 2009 17:06 Warrior Madness wrote:
On September 08 2009 14:45 x89titan wrote:
Man was being chased by a tiger. Tiger chase him to edge of cliff. Man falls off. Halfway down, he grab onto branch. He look up, he see ferocious tiger. Now he look down, he see another hungry tiger, waiting for him on the ground below. Not a good place to be. He knows for sure he gonna die. Then out of corner of his eye he see a wild strawberry growing on same branch. He pluck it and eat it. And it was the sweetest-tasting strawberry he ever had.


LMAO! Only a few people will get this one, for sure!! hahaha. Nice one. I know someone who once told this joke at a funeral.


care to elaborofl?

It's not a joke. Just google it up.

it is though, i've heard a variation with an apple tree

and it was the best goddamn apple he ever had

ok so i just googled it and it was some zen story where there were two mice gnawing away at the vine he was holding on to as well.

i still dont get why it's funny.

It's not a joke! :[

then why in god's unholy fucking name is it in the joke thread?

fuck i hate people that post some unrelated unknown useless shit in a thread then go HAHAHAH OMG THIS IS SO FUNNY BUT NO ONE WILL UNDERSTAND IT AND THAT MAKES ME SO COOL

tough crowd
Heaven came down and glory filled my soul, when at the cross the Savior made me whole
No.Doubt
Profile Joined July 2009
Canada202 Posts
September 08 2009 21:52 GMT
#120
What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

+ Show Spoiler +
See you next month.
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