EPTSays one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!"
The other says, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm positive!"
- Facebook Group: I enjoy corny science jokes
joke thread 09 - Page 14
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United States482 Posts
Says one atom to the other, "Hey! I think I lost an electron!" The other says, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm positive!" - Facebook Group: I enjoy corny science jokes | ||
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Brett
Australia3823 Posts
The teller-lady looks at him strangely and says: "Don't you mean a stick up?" The robber replies: "No, I left my gun at home!". | ||
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uhgotosleep
United States30 Posts
On December 14 2009 14:00 BroOd wrote: Whats the difference between jam and marmalade? + Show Spoiler + You can't marmalade your cock down a girl's throat HAHAHAHA. I can't stop laughing. | ||
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saritenite
Singapore1680 Posts
One day, four sailors and a nurse were shipwrecked on an island. On the first day, the nurse got so disgusted with what she was doing, and killed herself. On the second day, the sailors were so disgusted with what they were doing, and buried her. On the third day, the sailors were so disgusted with what they were doing, that they dug her up again.l | ||
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BlasiuS
United States2405 Posts
The bartender looks up and says "What is this, a joke?" | ||
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omfghi2u2
United States831 Posts
Couple of nights later, Manifesto7 asks his roommates if he can borrow the apartment for two nights because his girlfriend was coming. Chill and FakeSteve agree and come back two nights later to see the couch, floor, and walls covered in semen. They ask, "Whoa Manifesto7, what happened?!" Manifesto7 replies, "My girlfriend came over and we did it 12 times." A week later, FakeSteve asks his roommates if he can borrow the apartment for the upcoming 3 day weekend because his girlfriend was coming. Chill and Manifesto7 agree and come back a weekend later to see the entire apartment covered in semen. Floor, couch, walls, ceiling, kitchen, everything is covered in semen. They ask, "WHOA WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!" FakeSteve replies, "my girlfriend never came." ----------------------- What is the difference between 1000 gallons of milk, and 1000 gallons of period blood? + Show Spoiler + I cant drink 1000 gallons of milk ---------------------- What is funnier then a dead baby going 500 miles per hour? + Show Spoiler + Stopping it with a hammer | ||
KizZBG
u gotta skate8152 Posts
Which is cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted. :O  :p | ||
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UFO
582 Posts
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ShaperofDreams
Canada2492 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + You can't gurgle sand. (I believe that's the original joke) | ||
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GeneralCash
Croatia346 Posts
+ Show Spoiler + a stick | ||
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Khul Sadukar
Australia1735 Posts
I suck at jokes. What did one lesbian teacher say to the other lesbian teacher? The cleaner should be here in 20m for a threesome. Why did aliens abort their recall over Norway recently? Cause Flash saw it coming, obviously. | ||
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KurtistheTurtle
United States1966 Posts
On September 10 2009 04:02 Auhsoj wrote: So there was a sailor and a priest golfing together. Sailor tees off and hits his ball out into the rough. He starts cursing a storm as the priest says "God will punish you if you continue to curse." So the priest prays and hits the ball and POOF right onto the green. The next hole comes and the sailor tees off and, once again, into the rough. Again he curses a storm. The priest again warned him that god was gonna strike him for cursing like that. He prays and hits the ball and POW. hole in one. So the third hole comes and the sailor hits and into the rough. as he starts to curse again clouds swarm the golf course and ZAP. The priest gets hit by the lightning. The sailor heard a voice from the heavens, "God damn, I missed." rephrased ending | ||
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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
The German is selected first and says, "I wish I had some schnitzel." The cannibals make some for him, he eats it and is eaten himself. The Frenchman is selected second. He says, "I wish I could have one more orgy." Five cannibal women go up to him, they have crazy sex, and then he too is eaten. The Israeli is last and says, "Punch me on the nose," and the leader is confused but does so. When the connection between the nose and the fist is broken, the Israeli whips out an Uzi and mortally wounds the leader and keeps a distance away from the others. The leader asks the Israeli why he didn't shoot the leader before the German and the Frenchman died. He says, "My parents taught me to attack only in self-defense." | ||
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